We need a feels thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
We need a feels thread
bump
>sad doot
feelin empty. rub it in b
Bamp.
Lived
Loved
Grew
Died
But I cant draw...
Make me cry
Bump
>>711762258
>fake smile
it didn't used to feel fake
i guess part of life is learning that it actually is
I used to think there would be something for me in life, not just this torn open, empty husk of a career.
>>711763318
What's the career?
>>711763318
nothing seems worth doing, does it? if you don't someone else will, or has already.
How do you get her out of you head anons? It makes me tear up when I'm alone.
I am scheduled to go to MEPS to join the Air Force tomorrow. It is my last option and if I somehow get rejected, that's the end of the line for me.
>>711763695
your*
>>711763695
she's happy, that's all that matters.
>>711763318
Somewhere in your soul is burning desire locked behind fear. Fear of tomorrow, fear of not having a job, fear of homelessness, fear of death.
You need to free your desire. That flame will keep you alive so long as you contain it and temper it with reason and passion.
Tomorrow you need to quit your job. If its killing you, kill it. Overcome your fears by facing them.
>>711763710
Just went to MEPS for the same branch about 2 weeks ago. Lots of waiting.
>>711759960
How so /b/rother
>>711763710
>>711763899
And this is what I did ten years ago. Now I'm fat and happy.
>>711763710
What should I bring to pass time. They said no electronics. I'm also not a huge fan of books
>>711763813
Her social media sure makes it seem like it. Need to stop looking at that stuff
>>711763710
Don't confess to having something you haven't reported. They grind you down for 6 hours trying to get you to. its good you have a chance.
>>711764056
The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo
Its a book you might hate it, but I did an
entire book report on it back in middle school.
Other than that try a magazine or book.
Or just day dream with a notepad or pencil.
Just you know, don't start jacking off.
That'd probably wouldn't end well
>>711763710
Don't stress too much. I'm an army vet. The standards change every so often. Right now the military is downsizing and has been for a few years. but with a new president that could change quickly .
>>711764139
Social media is a huge lie. She's probably just as empty as you feel.
I really want to develop feelings for someone and have a meaningful relationship but I haven't been able to live anyone other than the one who I was with for three years and beat me, cheated on me with many different people, and financially mooched off me. It's been over two years since we broke up and I just haven't been able to romantically care about anyone else. I've dated and screwed many people but I think we're only able to fall in love once. Oh well.
Close friends have gfs and I'm single one. I can't really say I envy them but I wish I had someone to kill time with like they do.
>>711764056
Bring some manga or comic books then. Talk to the other people there.
Your recruiter probably told you this but clean your ears, listen to their questions carefully, respond the same way you responded to your recruiter and when you're doing joint movement don't make it seem like you're in pain.
>>711764139
strangely its a healthy way to stock someone, just so they don't find out. just accept that checking on her every day is the relationship that you will have with her. smirk at the frivolous shit she complains about. how naive they always are
>>711764139
I ha(d/ve) a crush on my highschool friend and I added her on snapchat to keep a constant eye on her via her stories. A few days ago she was using the new flashlight lense and laughed at the end and it was so different and silly yet it made me smile a lot. I recorded it and trimmed it just to hear her laugh over and over again. Just yesterday she made a few snaps about her 5 month anniversary with our mutual highschool friend and thats the first time I undoubtedly realized she is in a relationship. We all graduated 6 months ago and I haven't really contacted either of them since. If only I had done something before.
I wish I could draw,
Then maybe I would have friends,
But that dream is dead.
Why can't I get talent?
I ask myself this every night,
And my brain answers
"You can't have talent,
That's reserved for the assholes,
You are not a ass."
And I ponder this
And I wonder if i shall
be an ass or grass.
Being an ass gets girls
Being grass gets me stepped on
And I hate both sides.
And I wait for death,
As I cannot make a choice.
>Gonna die lonely
>>711764275
>>711764473
this was the complete opposite answer I was looking for. I asked for something to pass time with other than reading.
>>711764633
>>711764654
This is both really depressing. I'm sorry anons
>>711764964
You're just a whiny faggot, if you want to be talented at something then work at it. Just because you're a useless piece of shit doesn't mean that any person with talented is an asshole you fuckwit.
>>711763915
just drastically lowering expectations. i was mad earlier today. now i'm a blinking cursor on an empty screen. i'm vulnerable to the sinking butterflies of feels stories right now, and i'm trying to nudge myself into those posted. for the most part though, i can't even feel those.
>>711765039
There's literally nothing else than books or talking to whoever happens to sit next to you when you're waiting.
I was reading a yuri manga and one of the characters is a cross dressing boy who likes the main girl. No homo but i fucked around and let him be my favorite character. Its not because hes cute or anything, it just he has a really interesting character. Im kinda hoping i find a new favorite character because although im ok with cross dressers, they still make me really uncomfortable.
Signed
Black male
>>711761173
this one normally doesn't get me, but I guess reading the lines in his voice really packed on something.
I wasn't good at anything and had very few friends at school so I taught myself to ride a unicycle and rode it around school a few times and now everyone knows (of) me. I often got asked by others if I was The Unicycle Kid, and I'd say yes and walk away feeling noticed.
How beta am I?
>>711765407
crap.
Do you know how much weight they want you to lift?
>>711765655
minimum is 40 pounds. Forgot what it caps out at. It's fairly easy. Try to do more though so you have more jobs available to you
>>711764964
Just avoid doctors if you get a terminal illness/severe aging. You gotta take advantage of some of life's perks like that.
>>711765855
I'm colorblind enough to disqualify me from anything related to wires/engineering so I'm stuck with computer/science anyways.
>>711764654
that's nice you get to hear her laugh. it must be like she's right there.
>>711766129
Your job list is shit as it is then. Might as well go Open General or some other aptitude
>>711765571
Better to be the Unicycle Kid than the shadow in the background.
Sometimes I smile at the irony of the "im not a robot" button.
most days just existing I feel a bit like one
this probably isnt feels thread but I feel like I should share this. I usually fall asleep listening to pandora on shuffle and I half woke up in the middle of the night to stairway to heaven and it was such a profound experience. I've tried to do that meditation stuff and taped ping-pong balls to my eyes to hallucinate without drugs but nothing worked, not even weed. but for some reason listening to this song while asleep but also aware was so blissful
>>711766129
niggas watchin /b/ in high contrast
>>711766129
First of all, dipshit, wires need not be color coded. Secondly, nothing else in engineering requires color.
>>711766593
I used to be, thats why I started. I used to be known as the one who always wears the same jacket and never talks
>>711766949
That's what my recruiter told me. I'm not super color blind but I am enough to disqualify from most jobs, like 605% at least
>>711766949
Oi. Asshole. Resistors. If you can't tell the difference between red and blue it's a pretty goddamn big deal. Immediately disqualifies you from a career in electrical engineering. Let's not jump to conclusions.
>>711758901
My only love is now here
sextoyget.com/sexylittlehoe.htm
>>711767193
I can tell most colors apart. I have trouble with shades of blue and purple. also, the darker the shade, the harder it is for me to distinguish hat color it is if its not black. Like dark reds and very dark purples seem black unless I really look hard
>>711767395
virus? I tried to open link but the tab closed itself as soon as it opened
>>711767494
muhammad ali beats up erman?
>>711767666
yes satan, he kod him
>>711767666
>satan
No it's "muhammad ali beat superman"
For whomever it may concern
Goodnight anon I love you
Love you too, Anon.
>>711769449
thank you. sleep well, afterall you listened.
I have flashbacks to my childhood at least several times a week. I am reminded of the good times, the hard emotions, the friends, the cats and dogs. I'll have these flashbacks while I'm in the middle of keeping myself busy with something mundane like doing the dishes, or while ruminating about how awful I feel about life. It is just a flash, but I remember how I felt in the past and I remember who I was. I keep remembering how I felt about life, so free to affect my world however I wanted. I keep a long list of these flashbacks. There's one thing that ties them all together, and I started calling it the Heaven feeling. Endless security while experiencing something novel, complete togetherness with others. I try to force myself to feel anything close to this nowadays, and the moment I feel it, my heart races and I get sucked back into a world apart from normal existence in society, just trapped in my head. I have spent the last eight years trying to think my way out, I feel so trapped. Loneliness doesn't even bother me, it's just a symptom of the broken social nature and psychology I have grown into. It's not right, I know it's not, but I still haven't figured out how to fix it. I wish somebody could help me understand.
>>711769756
and people wonder why kids shoot up their schools.
Good night, /b/
It was a pleasure feeling with you
>>711770250
Goodnight anon. Sleep tight.
>>711770320
Thank you, anon
Sleep well yourself, whenever you decide to rest
>>711769745
Everyone always tells you that life isn't always roses. but by sometime in your teenage years you know that. what changes is that you realize there is nothing new. every new experience is just a re-arrangement of something else. maybe that's why we die. to make way for those under-10 year old idiots, who live.
>>711770508
Thank you. It really means a lot
>>711770516
I'm beginning to wonder if life is worth living for anyone above the age of 14, really. There's just nothing to do afterwards.
>>711770765
Fuck.
>>711770961
I need to stop reading these. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm filled with enough sorrow and regret as is towards my family.
>>711770989
you know, its funny... before i wrote 'teenage' i was going to wright 14. it was in my mind and i paused. i know there's only a few numbers, but still
>>711770989
>>711769756
hurts just right.
>>711770989
One day it'll get better
>>711769756
Holy shit. If that's real... I have no words for how terrible that is.
>>711771410
That..was a twist.
>>711771410
dat ending do
>>711771410
Fake af
>girls don't have feelings
>>711772524
really makes you think
thanks /b/ i needed this love you all
i took a quiz and this was the result
>>711773224
Ever thought about seeing a psychologist then?
>>711773867
Every fucking day.
>>711764428
Same.
I found out one of the teachers that teaches Freshman got out if the hospital for cancer. No one ever likes her class nor treats her with respect. They always make fun of her for everything and some how she still puts on a smile. I wish I could talk to her and share my experience, that way she doesn't feel alone, I just can't even look at her without choking up it hits to close to home for me
>>711774116
See, the multiverse scares the shit out of me.
Sure, I could be better in other worlds, but there are probably a fuckton more where I did much, much, worse.
I didn't want to do an assignment in high school so when it was due I told my teacher that my grandfather died to get out of it.
The next day my grandfather had a heart attack and died.
I used to browse these threads a lot more often when I was in college because they really resonated with me. I felt like dozens of people, who I'd never meet, all felt that same emptiness that I did, and that somehow made it easier to bear, like we could equally distribute some finite amount of suffering, and seeing other people carry theirs made it easier to carry mine. But I don't think anyone can live like that forever; I couldn't. So I left school and found a job, got a place of my own, and for the first time in my entire life I'm happy. It's not prestigious and if I died tomorrow I doubt anyone would remember me 5 years from now, but I'm happy. I found a good life for myself in a world of not so great things and to me that is prestigious.
I genuinely believe that one of these threads stopped me from killing myself so believe me when I tell you that you can make things better for yourself. It won't be easy but if you're like I was then you have nothing to lose anyway, and I bet you'll surprise yourself. I still browse these threads. Not because I have to anymore but because I know some of you do, and I'll gladly be there with you until you don't.
>>711765264
Thats one of the better pictures ive seen in a while.
we were together for 6 months and she was quite honestly the only person to ever actually care about me and listen to me, to the point that to this day she's still one of the only people I can come to when I have borderline suicidal thoughts or am just completely depressed and hopeless.
I broke up with her because we were getting into constant fights, but I knew they were mostly generated from my own tendency to get anxious and express my need to control things by being short with her and getting pissed at little things.
6 months after we broke up, during which time we were really good friends and I would drive up to visit her at the camp she worked at over the summer and she came to watch my wrestling matches, etc., we got back together again.
Flash forward 2 months and here we are. I'm scared things are slipping back into the situation before, and what's worse is that she's taking a leave of absence next semester and lives far away now.
A whole semester full of unresolved communication issues can only end in one thing. Not to mention that's a whole semester without my best friend, the only person who gives me reason to keep going. It sounds pathetic and beta, and it probably is, but it's also the truth. And it blows.
>>711774029
do what
>>711772762
did
>>711768295
Had me going
>>711761173
Sauce please? I'm bad with comics.
>>711774840
batman it was one of the villain specials focused on mister freeze i remember this one i think it was brave and the bold
>>711773224
Just scored a 23. As I took it, I kept thinking how the fears and concerns asked about seem so normal, so regularly part of life. I wonder if the quiz is too simple/leading, or if that's just a reflection of my own depression.
>>711773867
I already know what life would be like without me. I could just not exist tomorrow and no one would notice. The only one that would is maybe my boss to see why I didn't come to work. But other than that no one would care. My family's gone and I don't know anyone since I moved to a new city. Nothing would be different. When it comes down to it the vast majority of us don't matter. Life would just go on as before.
>>711774991
Thanks man
https://youtu.be/tJ7LdrAqL0Y
"And nothing can ever ruin this" --Exurb1a
>>711774223
if we take it seriously it means that there is one with an infinite amount of consciousness suffering endlessly. its best not to think about it, but the emptiness here seems eternal, so maybe this some collection of it.
>>711770704
This one is one of my favorite
>>711770765
Lost
>>711775158
no probs
I don't feel anything anymore.
I don't feel sad, or angry, or happy. I'm not bad or good, I just am.
I don't feel the warmth of the sun, the wind on my face.
I don't see the color in the world.
All is grey and bland.
I know it wasn't always like this.
But I don't remember what that felt like.
It's like one night I died and forgot not to wake up in the morning.
>>711773224
i got 32 ..... what do
>>711774992
I just got out of sessions with a cognitive behavioral therapist. I don't recommend it. I have depression. CBT tried to change the way I think. I couldn't. I reasoned myself into this hole, and I don't think there is an answer that leads back out. So I told her I was feeling much better, wrapped it all up and stopped going.
Good night /b/.....you guys are my only friends anymore
>>711773224
34
yay
>>711775972
dream of us with you, anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtmCCNB8wqc
I love her. I've never experienced this before. I love her and it's fucking shredding me. I can't sleep without getting drunk off my ass first because I'll just lay awake thinking of her. I grew up distant from women. I distrust them. I was a fat kid in grade school. I'm kind of a fat fuck now. I never gave actual human companionship much thought. No woman ever caught my eye hard enough to drag me out of my comfort zone, and here I am going miles outside of it to spend time with her. I'm happier than I've ever been with her, then the comedown is utterly polar from that joy. I'm dragged down farther than any disappointment, any loss, any grief has ever dragged me.
I don't have her on a pedestal. I did when I just had a light crush on her. But as I got to know her, she humanized herself. Stepped down off of it. The more complete she became, the more pieces added to the mosaic, the more deeply I felt for her, until here I am now, where she dominates my waking thoughts and makes me want to die.
I'm not even in lust. I haven't had a boner in a couple weeks. I can't bring myself to beat off because she creeps into my head and I can't bring myself to degrade her thought. This is suffering. I never understood people who bitched and moaned about being in love, who claimed that the exit of a person from their life meant the end of happiness for them, but now I take back all my words contrary. I don't care about anything.
She's taken. She loves him. I'm just a friend. I'm just a fucking friend and I shouldn't even be that. It's a betrayal to our friendship that I harbor these thoughts, and it's a source of constant pain that she is not mine, and I am not hers.
So I just continue to improve myself. I work out, I'm losing weight constantly, doing Jiu-Jitsu. I need to be something that she could love. I just train and bide my time, drunk all the while.
I needed this thread. Thank you, /b/.
None of us are alone
We are all together
I love all of you
>>711776032
32. We're fucked.
I hate myself. I'm going to therapy twice a week how. Why do I hate myself? Because my life is fully entwined with a woman I don't love anymore and who abuses me financially and won't find a job. she's wrecked my car, her parents are still paying half my rent, she's immature, irresponsible, weak willed and she's gained 10 lbs a year since we started dating 3 years ago. We have a dog. She has a college education and I have a high school education with trade school. She has never held a full time job or paid her own bills, ever. She's been out of school for a year and a half. I'm bored. I'm sick of being taken advantage of. But I don't know how to be alone anymore. I'm scared of myself and what I'll become if she leaves. I've had problems drinking before. I miss being happy.
>>711776322
Sounds a bit like No Surprises by Radiohead
>>711776943
I love you too, anon. Whatever kind of man you are. Whatever your sins and transgressions. We're nameless entities here. It doesn't matter. Whatever you've done and regretted, or haven't done and regretted, whatever thoughts you harbor, whatever failures you've committed, I love you. Here, now, in this thread, you are my brother, and I wish you nothing but the best.
Had I the power to absolve, you would be absolved. Had I the power to take your pain, you would be alleviated. Please do right by yourself. Please try to improve your life and be happy, because I love you.
>>711777064
do u frequently masturbate?
>>711776943
it's something. glad you're out there
>>711773224
i got a 30 anon
>>711775706
That's the fucking funny thing about CBT. Every time I've ever tried it, it's always comes across as someone else telling you how to think.
I like to think I'm a bit healthier now, and can see the sense in what my therapists were saying but it reminds me of this guy picking up my mum's cows to be sold at auction. For such an "expert" at cows, he and his team failed to co-ordinate them and got the usually well behaved one to freak out just because they were behind schedule. You could see her slowly panicking, and I'm certain had they slowed down initially she would have made less of a fuss.
I guess the takehome message is good ol' time. It might not get you where you want to be right now but it will get you out of here, whether you like it or not.
>>711777177
Holy fuck
I'm tired of feeling this way. I know it's not right, I know I have a lot of things to be grateful for, and that I can change the things I control that I don't like.
I come from the mindset of owning the consequences of my actions, pulling myself up by my boot straps, "I must work harder" give me broader shoulders not lighter burdens, stop being a pussy, quit bitching, and get shit done. I look at my life and know that the only person that I have to blame is myself. I am better off then the majority of the world when it comes to being able to fulfill basic human needs, and yet here I am squandering those gifts by feeling sorry for myself.
So I sit down, and I think the whole thing through and I tell myself that it's ok.
But its not ok, I don't feel ok, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't think people are supposed to feel this way. There's something wrong with me, and I don't want to feel like this anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzgPXOw2plI
I've never played this game, but I like to watch the trailer. For some reason, it really gets me. Particularly at the :38 mark. I feel like is summarizes how I feel. It's like my whole being is pulling myself hurtling towards the earth to die in a fiery wreckage of my own doing, and the only thing that keeps me going and fighting through it is because of others perceptions of me and my responsibilities to others.
I don't even have kids yet, and I'm terrified that I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing for others and what if I never feel any better? I'll just end up letting even more people down.
>>711758901
Just found out that my ex and I broke up because she cheated on me. Now I'm waiting to spring some shit for revenge, but I'm simultaneously vindictive and not over her. It's a shitty feeling.
>>711775706
pretty much summed up why i haven't bothered
everyone i know who tried CBT said it's a crock of shit
>>711777389
Hang in there, we'll meet someday.
You are not alone.
>>711777064
It sounds like you're already alone. pull out anon. be polite, don't expect miracles. when you miss her just remember her in the state that made you leave, not the state that made you love. all times of change are scary.
>>711761173
we need more villains like this in our movies/games/media
>>711777247
maybe we should all become behavioral psychs. problem is, someone would still kill themselves even though we weren't prodding. that would get to me.
>>711777389
maybe don't have kids
you'd just be creating feel thread insurance policies
>>711777177
This..
Made me cry.. Just a little..
>>711776844
this deserves a read. its not looking back at a sum total of your actions or your legacy. Its just saying 'welp, its over'.
*computer fan hums*
what am i staring at?
*refresh
you're all pussies
The girl I loved with all my heart fucked my best friend
I dropped that fucking ho and my friend
I still have my dog, my project car, and booze.
>>711778552
Let it out, bruh. God knows I need to, but I can't bring myself to do so. I feel like my world is unraveling. For the equally depressed, ready attention of you anons, I really do love you.
It's 1:31 AM here in Texas. Everyone I care about is asleep. She's asleep. She who causes me so much pain just by existing. Anyone who'd listen is asleep as well. But /b/ is awake, as it always is.
>>711773224
Beautiful. 26
>>711758901
this song is too much
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKS4FjAsMTM
>>711773224
28.
I don't know. Sometimes you hear people mention on threads like these that all you can ever hope for is to live the exact same life as everyone else. And usually I don't give it too much thought, or I think about it and dismiss it, but.
I mean, I'll be honest, /b/ros. I think it's true. I'm just going to live the same goddamn life as everyone else in this fucking country. The same experiences at the same time, just with different names and places. And frankly, that's bullshit. But there's no other way. There's no point. They tell you to find your own meaning in life, but what good does that do if the meaning you find is the exact same thing as everyone else? The whole goddamn thing, from start to finish, has been lived a million times by a million different people and will always be lived the exact same way, over and over and over again. And there are moments in there where you feel joy, as all people do, and there are moments in there where you feel profound sorrow, as all people do. And the source of that joy is one of the only things that I think gives life meaning, sure, but if we're all going to experience the exact same sorrow, most of which stems from our pursuit of joy, then what's the fucking point? I feel like whatshisname at the end of that movie Looper where the younger version of him can see how his own actions are causing a time loop where the exact same timeline is forced to repeat itself out forever and it only causes pain and suffering. So he ends it by taking his own life.
In the end, it's all the same. Within ten years of your death even your closest friends and family will forget you're gone. And then you'll vanish. Your life meant nothing. You were just one of literally billions of identical organisms biologically programmed to react the exact same way to the exact same stimuli. And that's one fucked up life, if you can even call it that.
>>711778908
My god thats beautiful anon , if only everyone could like you :3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SojuN3Dg9Yc
This always kills me. Feel with me.
>>711778888
>>711778844
>>711777177
>>711776844
>>711776322
>>711776133
>>711775344
>>711775300
>>711775255
>>711774777
>>711772866
>>711772600
>>711771877
>>711771422
>>711771199
>>711770233
>>711768088
>>711767666
>>711767477
>>711766988
>>711764633
>>711763899
>>711762322
>>711762044
i'm autistic enough to point these out
>>711779194
cont.
I want to cut the loop, /b/ros. I want to cut it real fucking bad. And I'm starting to wonder if the amount of pain I'll be causing by doing so is even worth shit for all I -- or any of us -- will be remembered.
>>711779327
Why do you want to be remembered, anon?
>>711778130
I dunno, it seems like a lot of bureaucracy and red tape towards creating solutions. Best I can suggest is integrity and self dialogue. Some of these feels aren't the whole truth behind what we're feeling. And yes, you're 100% correct. It doesn't matter what we do. In the long run, our patients will decide to change (or possibly stagnate) whether it's through lifestyle; confrontation; or their death.
Mate, I'm gonna close this tab now cos too much of this sways my emotional balance but I hope you (and the rest of you feelsy people here) all the best in life.
>>711776943
I love you. I may not know who you guys are but i love every single one of you fuckers
>>711777668
Agreed
Need advice /b/ros... recently started seeing this girl, about 2 Months ago
>met at a club, went home and was meant to be a one night stand
>work on same base together, started spending every day together (not officially together)
>one day, went out and had an argument, she went home with one of my friends. Tells me they did nothing but kiss
>we talked a few days later she told me it was the biggest mistake and wake up call, and she's realised she wants to be with me
>doesn't talk to me unless I message her first and struggling to trust her every time she goes out...
What do /b/?
>>711766434
Ow.
>>711779194
>sorrow, most of which stems from our pursuit of joy
resonated deeply.
and yes, the gist of your conjecture is not un-nestled either, as i too believe uniqueness will never come. the detrimental impact i happen to feel from this on a given day varies.
>>711779435
My ex girlfriend old me more or less exactly what's in pic related in her suicide note.
You fucked my feels up good anon
>>711779243
Thank you. People try to give me more affection than I deserve so I avoid it. I've attained mastery at dodging all the praise I can manage. I don't want to be too sweet to people in my life. I don't want to grow too important to them, because deep down I know that I'm a piece of shit who will only disappoint them.
Even with the girl I love, I hold back. I know I could show her more, let her see who I am and how I feel. But I can't right now. I can't let a single thought betray the friendly cover I've constructed.
I don't understand how she doesn't seem to know. When I'm with her it feels like everything I'm thinking is in full view. Her smile makes me feel drunk. I'm always afraid she'll see right through me, but she never does. It would be kind of a relief, at this point.
All I want is to be sweet to her. I want to deliver words to her that make her understand what she is to me, to paint her into the context that I always see her against. That contrast where her smile dims all other lights and I just want to run to it.
But I need to stay in the dark.
>>711779697
meet up with her in person, in a place where she will be comfortable. Tell her you're having a hard time trusting her. MAKE IT OUT TO BE YOU. She will hopefully understand. Have a heart to heart about trusting each other. If she can't, she wasn't loyal and you don't want her.
Fuck growing up man, seriously.
I was at walmart the today picking up food and shit. Bought a cheap lego set for fun. Ended up building it tonight.
Legos were the family toy at my house when I was a kid. I'm the oldest of 5 kids and I would build some cool ass cities and we would play lego city together. Idk man those were just great times playing with my little brothers and sister not really worried about anything.
Now my siblings aren't so little anymore and life has moved on. Just fucking sucks knowing you can't go back in time to relive those times just for a while. I miss being surrounded by family 24/7 instead of becoming more and more alone as time goes on.
>>711779435
goodbye, friend. he lives on in another tab.
>>711773224
I will give all of you the piece of advice I got from 4chan that helped me crawl out of the depression awhile ago
>Self Pity is narcissism disguised as depth.
>>711764045
Haha, dude, me, too! I enlisted July 2006 in the Active USAF.
I wanted to be interesting, to have an interesting talent or hobby. But whenever I tried to start doing something I always convinced myself that I am not good enough or that I don't deserve success and always gave up.
>>711780055
sounds comfy anon. though growing up does suck. the fact that you went through with getting the Legos and playing it shows that you've mastered it-- growing up means letting go of the concept of serious, boring adults-- do you ever plan to have kids?
>>711780027
Oh we have. She says she knows it'll be hard for me to trust her but she says she only wants me, and I'm the one who makes her happy. But she still goes out every weekend and I'm pretty sure flirts with other guys
>pic related; message she sent me after we talked in person
>>711779418
That's a good one.
I don't know exactly. I've been thinking about death a little recently. And the mere idea scares me shitless. Like, it's at the point that even recently as I was playing Titanfall 2 (great game) I hesitated a /long/ time before killing any enemy soldiers while piloting the titan. It just made me feel awful. I know they're just pieces of code, but the idea that I, someone with such immense power in that context, am choosing to end the life of another human being. It scares me. It shakes me to the core. I eventually stopped, just walked past them. Couldn't bring myself to do it. Somehow it's different if they don't look like people, or if they're in robots, or if they pose a serious threat of killing my character or anything like that. But. Yeah.
I think it's more the concept of nothingness that terrifies me. All of it being meaningless. I'm practically in tears even writing this because of how much I'm forcing myself to think about it. It's horrifying to think that all of my life is for nothing. It's horrifying to think of all of it ending.
But somehow I still want to kill myself? I don't understand myself as well as I'd like to, Anon.
>>711779931
Cut it out with the smart-sounding words. This is a baww thread, you're not impressing anyone.
I mean. Shit. What I'm trying to say is don't pretend to be someone you aren't, man. I don't know you, but you don't sound like you talk like that normally. Be you, not what you think others expect of you. If we're gonna live duplicate lives, we can at least try to avoid being duplicate people.
Not a typical feels thread post, but I'll share it anyway.
I go thrift store shopping for fun. You never know what you will find, and it passes the time pretty well. A few days ago I found what may be the strangest thing I've ever found: someone's old law degree. It was being sold for $3, so I knew I had to buy it. My plan was to find out who this person was, and maybe try to get it to someone who knew this man; someone who would appreciate having it.
I did a simple Google search of the guy's name when I got home. There were only a few pages that appeared, his memorial page from the funeral home, some briefs from cases he tried during his work as a lawyer, his yearbook page from the U of Michigan, and random news articles from when he was alive. There was nothing concrete. His memorial page listed no survivors, except an estranged cousin, and a "best friend". A Google search of those names turned up nothing at all. He never married. Never had kids. He lived to be 92 years old and never did any of those things. He was a member of the Oklahoma bar for 60+ years. I tried to find an address for him, and when I got something I typed it into Google Maps. Where he once lived in now an empty field. His house was gone.
That's when the reality of the situation hit me. We're all going to end up like this man some day. Maybe not as suddenly, but eventually there will be no one to remember us. All of the things that we treasure in life will end up in a thrift store, a landfill, or something like that. I wanted to find someone to give this degree to, but there was no one. It was incredibly sobering.
This was the only picture of him that I could find online. It was from his college days. I'm going to keep his degree as a reminder of how fleeting life is for all of us. There is no such thing as immortality, for any man.
>>711780260
>sound like you talk like that normally.
off and on. maybe that's what brought me here. when i'm having a thought, its actually harder to not use the big words.
>>711780013
You mean , you're struggling telling you're real feeling toward people you care about ? Sorry if i missunderstood i didn't sleep
>>711776969
28 I think I handle it well enough. Probably just biased though.
>>711780749
Short version is that I'm utterly, completely in love with a girl who's in a relationship already, and I'm not yet attractive enough to attempt any kind of "taking" of her away from her current bf. I wouldn't want to hurt her that way anyway.
We hang out. She invited me to come see a movie with her. But all she knows is that we get along really well and that I'm willing to hang out with her. She doesn't understand that I'm plagued by her thought day and night, and that anytime I'm not right next to her, I miss her. The thought of never being with her makes me want to stop living.
So I just continue to improve myself and wait.
>>711776386 My original post is right here.
I lost one of my best friends to afghanistan, I learned before his family did. It tore me apart, since he was going yo be back for a good year when he got back. He only had one month left. I broke my spine in a car accident the next year, along with several ribs. Another close friend of mine bled out in my arms on the side of that road, the car was totalled, but I didnt, couldnt give a shit. I keep trying to smile and be happy, but not a single person can fill the void thats left. Im left broken and battered, surrounded by people who give me shit for staying with my best friend as he died instead of getting help for myself. His girlfriend blamed me even though he was driving. His mom blames me for not saving him. His sister wont talk to me, but will tell everyone I killed her brother. My own mother cancelled my insurance (which i was paying for) because it got too expensive. Just about every day since Ive regretted waking up at all. I just want to be with my friends again.
>>711767477
a nigger?
>>711758901
As a kid I never understood the imaginary friend thing. Do they actually believe they can see their imaginary friend and they're real
Ok /b/ , I have a question for you :
Is depression is a male problem only?
>>711773224
Took the same quiz. My stem from workaholic and wanting to avoid people
>>711780703
Hey, man, if that's the case then go for it. I'm sorry if I was being abrasive, I just feel deeply about that sort of thing. Nothing matters more than being sincere. Nothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZILUhn5V24
Here's some music for the thread. It's just what I'm listening to at the moment. Actually discovered this band originally on a different thread. Would absolutely recommend checking out their songs "Burial" and "Rough Hands" if you're interested.
>>711780957
Oh ok i get it , can't help you , i don't wanna give bad advice , i don't have experience with girls yey :( , but gosh .. what are you supposed to do in that situation ? I guess i would try to move on anon
>be me
>told the girl I had an affair with two years ago that I still have feelings for her
>still friends at this point, she visited a couple of weeks ago
>we're both in relationships, but fuck it I need to get it off my chest
>she flips out and says we're not to speak again
Wtf?
You cannot be killed. You do not age. You have the ability to time travel and teleport through space. You have access to the entire universe, forever. Is life worth living now?
>>711781011
I forget my score but it was Moderate. Can't remember the reasons, but it's certainly different than your flavor. Rather than be a workaholic, I'm unmotivated. That sort of thing. More depressive symptoms than manic ones. It's a complex disease to understand and diagnose, so I wouldn't take anything short of the word of a trained psychologist as a medical diagnosis.
>>711781001
Why would it be? It's mostly male, and /b/ is mostly male, but that doesn't mean women can't experience it, too. We're all humans.
>>711781200
No. Because after killing everyone I know I will try to find my own oblivion anyway.
>>711781146
>i don't have experience with girls yey
I don't either. That's part of the problem. I've never been in love before in my life. Not even in high school. I'm 22. This hit me like a truck.
I can't move on. I won't. I'll keep spending time with her and being a good friend even if it fucking kills me. I will do many things, but I will not make that girl sad.
>>711780987
Some do believe that, others doesn't. I didn't but I liked to have some kind of partner on my imaginary adventures
>>711781200
Meh. My nihilistic views tend to manifest themselves on both ends of the spectrum. Citation: the contrast between my behavior in this thread versus with friends.
>>711765769
This is me right now except I pretty much lost everything and I'm experiencing deep loneliness for the first time in my life. It hurts. 12 years is a long time.
Today im fairly certain i talked some dude out of suicide. Didnt know him, was just a chance encounter on some online game. Usually i ignore that shit yknow, but today i stood up to the challenge and listened to what he had to say. I just let him wail on me and let out all his anger until he stopped, then i just did what my dad would do for me when yhings were bad. I dold him "It'll be okay."
>>711780260
>It's horrifying to think of all of it ending.
>But somehow I still want to kill myself?
Its a strange teetering. the thought of death instinctualy makes you want to preserve your own existence, but every task involved in preserving it seems null in the grand scheme, especially considering the amount of effort it takes/ bullshit you've got to put up with. Killing yourself is nearly impossible anon. the best you can do is what all the normies do, meaning distract yourself with sitcoms until you die of natural causes. like you said before, high hopes or even moderate hopes of anything makes for torn souls.
>>711781400
Yeah i totally get how you feel anon , you love her , so you don't wanna make her sad , it make sense , but you can't stay like that in my opinion , you have two solution , either you tell her how you feel and then see , or you move on ,but don't stay like that :) ( sorry for the mistakes in english , not my main )
>>711781746
That's bullshit. That's not the life I want to live. Because all that accomplishes is it guarantees that your life will be meaningless.
Fuck. That. Shit.
>>711781882
I think I've got a chance. A snowball's chance in hell, but a chance. She has to feel SOMETHING. Her behavior isn't normal. I feel something might not be totally platonic. But I always assume I'm just lying to myself on that point.
Jesus Christ I'd love to tell her just what she is to me. But I'd rather die than give her up. I'd honestly, literally, bluntly rather just fucking die.
>>711781733
an hero
>>711781200
Yes, then I could save my girlfriend.
>>711766383
hit me hard
>>711782252
dark
>>711782563
It's the truth, fam
I haven't loved in a long time you guys. I think something's wrong with me.
do any of you have this problem?
>>711783011
How did you lose them? And are you still thinking about them?
>>711773262
that's a true mom for ya
>>711780112
I don't get why he wanted to do it himself.. My dog also had cancer and we had to put her down..
>>711773972
And I'm sitting here wasting the one life I have in front of a screen with people I'll never know.
>"hey, wanna hang out again soon?"
>"busy again, huh? alright, lemme know when you're available."
>"it's been ____ since we last saw each other, do you just not wanna do anything?"
>"oh we'll hang again soon? You promise? okay, talk to ya later, thanks!"
It's been two years now. I have no other friends. She's been with a couple people, and always tells me anybody would be lucky to have me. I know these aren't true, yet I keep coming back, day after day, because she's all I have and there's nothing else to do.
>>711783565
You can add me if you need to talk anon , i feel very alone too
Thanks for the feels /b/ros
Yall have a good night.
>>711784197
I think it's the other way around. You're the one who gets toyed with until she finds the new shiny model with more money, better looks, and karate chop action. Fuck if you care though. You just wanna rot at the bottom of the toy bin and work on becoming forgotten.
>>711784706
Careful with that edge there faggot.
I look around at the few things I own and realize I have not one thing that was an accomplishment. I don't have any sports trophies or medals, I don't have any testament for anything I ever did on my own. I don't have pictures of friends at my birthday or at my house to just hang out. I only have materials.
Materials that I try and waste my time with, especially video games. I have 130 hours of playtime in Overwatch, and I've only ever gone solo queue. I've tried to make friends, but everyone eventually loses interest, I've even reached out to people on the internet, only to eventually have it end and dry up. Is it me? Am I so unpleasant? I survey myself and see large flaws, and I try desperately to fix them, or at the very least hide them so I don't drive others away. I lost one of the few friends I had this past year because of some drama, she was one of my closest friends. We knew each other for 7+ years, and she cut me off so easily that I was shocked. She didn't even send me a birthday text back in September, where she used to do it as soon as it turned midnight. It's her birthday tomorrow. She'll be 23, and she still won't call or try to get a hold of me.
Is it me? What am I doing wrong? I graduated high school in a class of 44 people, everyone knew everyone, and I thought we were all fairly close, but I've seen 5 classmates get married this year, 3 of which I thought were good buddies of mine. I never knew about any of the weddings until I saw pictures...pictures of beautiful receptions with everyone looking dapper and beautiful, pictures of old friends laughing and drinking, and pictures of them smiling. It just helps me realize how little I mean to most anyone outside of my actual family.
I don't get it.
I work so hard in life, I try and try to cope with myself, and distract myself in any way possible. I try to love myself, but I look at the few who love me, my siblings and realize I've only ever helped them by showing them what not to be.
I'm so sad.
2 things have ruined everything I love. Time, and Myself. My gf left me today /b/ I was so careful not to fuck it up, but did anyways. The past few girlfriends were really great but this one? This one was perfect for me. She will forever be my great white buffalo. How do I live the rest of my life knowing that I ruined my life, nobody else. Nobody came in and fucked my shit up, it was all me. How am I supposed to go on knowing I will never see her smile, listen to her laugh, smell her hair, or hold her in my arms. You know guys, I am the kind of person who stops reading a book if all my favorite characters die. If I'm being honest? There are no more good characters in my book.
>>711784706
>>711784820
I'm sorry, but i feel like this kinda makes more sense. Think about barbies. They're constantly reinventing themselves to be more interesting and more attractive. I feel like I'm one of those nail board toys where you stick your face in the nails and it sticks, but a couple hours after that it just goes in the toy bin with the rest.
It's been 4 years, and I'm still hoping it was an april fools joke.
>>711770631
Kek
>a 5 year old sits on a curb on an empty street with one street light
>his arms are bunched loosely around his knees, his hands dangling
>he stairs at the curb on the other side
>5...4...3...2.
>the world shuffles around him
>he now sits facing an empty stadium
>80,000 blue seat backs with the little grab handle all visible from here
>his eyes see the pristine infield, freshly groomed
>the sun seems fake
>shuffle again, right on schedule
>the boy sits at the end of a runway on a different planet
>the planes are lined up in the terminals far to each side, like docks stretching so far down you can't see the last boat
>each plane is almost like the jets on earth, just minor things different, a little narrower, twin tails, more wheels
>its about the same time period here as the time period he last knew on earth
>of course time is no longer meaningful
>scatter, regroup
>a pond of glass stretched out from the rock the boy sat on
>if you were to cross it, you may eventually hit some trees or some sand, but it doesn't matter
>nothing moves here either
>2..1..
>bingo, the boy marked the shift with a nod of his finger
>he sat in a room
>any room
>a thousand rooms
>green rooms, glass rooms, big rooms and oval rooms
>he sat in caves and cars, on mountains and trains
>he had been to every continent, seen every store
>it made no difference
>the world is just a convincing simulation
>and the matrix was glitching
>for hundreds of years he had sat watching it
>unable to age
>unable to sleep
>sure, he had gone through every feeling of sadness or universal dread
>but now his empty shell gazed thoughtless
>while visions of sugar-plumbs danced in his head
>>711785193
ahh... fuck
>>711772693
Yeah, what if she dyes her hair. Will the crayon change color too?
>>711783307
the connection to his dad probably. some people's dogs are their best friend.
>>711772914
Love ya man
>>711773224
I also took a quiz and here's what I got.
Pic sort of related.
>you dont notice it at first
>you start talking a little less, she seems a tad busier
>she leaves and forgets to say it, must have been rushed
>over the course of the month you notice she almost never says it
>you have to say it in order to get her to say it
>she introduces you to him
>she always talks about him
>you ask her to say it
>she doesnt
>you dont want to accept it, but you know
>you've known the entire time
>she doesnt love you anymore
>>711785604
holy fucking shit that made my night
>>711785628
That's dumb
Good night everyone. Thanks for everything.
>>711785604
fuck i didnt know this was ylyl
Anons there is a girl i just cant get over im always thinking about her and always on the verge of tears when i look at pictures of her and i dont know what to do advice?
Every night I'm provided with two choices. I could swallow a bunch of pills I know for sure would kill me. If I did that, I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. There'd be no confrontation, I wouldn't have to deal with any of the emotional trauma, and I wouldn't have to wake up disappointed. I could just stop.
Yet every night I lay in bed, and go to sleep so the next day can come faster, and hopefully, the day I die.
>>711780978
I was recently playing Rune factory 4, and after you get married your spouse will say I love you when interacting with her. It surprised me to hear it said out loud. It actually made me really sad that I haven't actually heard it in a long time. Not to me, not to anyone.
>>711786113
Delete them. Don't save any backups. Delete them.
>>711786113
Find another girl you have a connection with, toss those pics out trust me you don't need them, she's probably moved on
Am I the only one who just scoffs and moves on when they're told "I love you" by a stranger on the internet?
I want to be loved by someone who actually knows and cares about me, not just someone who feels sympathy for me.
>>711784962
>I never knew about ...the weddings until... pictures
God dam dude, that's some serious left out and i know how it feels. sadly, friends are temporary and situation dependent. you will always find your friends funny or relatable because you knew them so well. When you see them in a video or something you laugh more readily than other spectators, because you completely get their sense of humor. But for some offal reason, the feeling is never mutual. it turns out that 90+% of people are shallow like this, even though you were so close.
gestures like stumping you for their weddings is a pretty good sign its time for new friends (even though weddings can be expensive [more catering/ bigger place]). Get involved in some hobby that has clubs, become a member. do it all to get some people to hang out with, even though you know that they won't last for more than about 5 years.
>>711761173
Mr Freeze was such a tragic villain, it pisses me off mow he was portrayed in the Batman and Robin movie
>>711786692
wouldn't we all? but this feels so good until we have that luxury.
>>711776386
Oh fuck this one hit too close
I had a rough childhood. Kids teased me mercilessly. It got violent on a several occasions and the teachers refused to step it.
My mom is a terrible person. As much as she loves me, and I know she does, she lets her anxiety control her. This translates to her trying to control my every action by raiding my room, trying to track me via my phone, etc.
I lost a friend to suicide and had to hold her in my arms until the cops arrived. To this day I still have nightmares about it.
Now I have a boyfriend and someone who cares about me deeply yet.. I still feel alone. I still feel like I have nothing. I still feel as if the world is a dark and scary place and everywhere I turn it just gets darker and scarier.
I want to die. I just want to die. I can't even make emotional bonds with the people I do have because that trauma runs so incredibly deep. It's a scar that will never heal. I just want to end this nightmare.
>>711784962
I know the feels.. same situation.. also most of my friends just ghosted me after graduation.. and my girlfriend of 2 years dumped me first week of college and started dating a guy there..live in a small town as well and feel very stuck. theres a lot more but I just lurk these threads every night, so short post and I dont reply to any really. If you want to add me on overwatch its PlayingWFire, play every 2 days at least not sure how many hours i have but I would play with ya
>>711773224
Got a score of 20, this quiz is quite short though,
>>711787090
sounds like you're not letting your bf help you. the world is fucking terrifying and it helps to anker in the day to day happy. If you can't form emotional bonds then you two are not as close as he thinks. Hint to him (but make it clear) that he has an opportunity to take charge and bring you back to some sort of normalcy over time. Every man loves the chance to be a man. surrender your self control to him if you can.
>>711787405
It's more complicated than that. I want to love him, really. But losing my friend, watching her die, it turned me into an island. It turned me into someone who's afraid to form lasting emotional bonds.
>>711787593
It doesn't have to be lasting. i guess in high school some dudes get hell bent on 'girl of their dreams'. But most guys don't want forever. rebuild what you can, make sure he know there is some variable time limit (depending on how it goes). take a seemingly shallow openness as a stepping stone, and put whatever little pressure on that bum foot of your you dare.
>>711787758
-foot of your*s*
>>711787758
I suppose so. You really think surrendering my self control will work? Do guys really like that sorta thing?
I wasn't supposed to lose.
>>711787832
not about him liking it, about what works when you don't know what to feel.
>>711787915
right? Fuckin donkey kong getting a hidden block and a star is bullshit.
>>711787155
I feel you anon , small town in here also , only have 1 friend left , and i live alone because my parents died 1 years ago , feel alone too
