ITT: WTF customer service stories I'll go first. >Be
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: WTF customer service stories
I'll go first.
>Be me
>2015
>Be college student in Florida
>Need cigarettes
>Go to local gas station
>Ask for smokes
>"ID please"
>Show cashier New Hampshire ID because I'm from NH
>Cashier gives me a look
>"What are you trying to pull?"
>Look at my I'D
>Everything looks fine
>Ask what she means
>"That ID is fake."
>orly.jpg
>"Yeah, New Hampshire isn't a real state."
>This cashier went past tard and straight to potato
>Assure her that NH is DEFINITELY a state
>"Uh, no it's not. So, you're not getting those cigarettes."
>MFW
>>711693628
Bump
So much potential itt being wasted
This could be great thread
>>711693628
Bump
>>711693628
I just checked my glide, I couldn't find new Hampshire
>>711693628
Too bad.
>>711693628
>ks ID has issue date printed above expiration date
>be in texas on business/visiting family I hate
>go to liquor store to get blitzed in my hotel room
>80 something fuck at counter
>whyareyoualive.mp3
>"this ID expired in 20xx, I cant except it, and im going to have to take this fake id from you"
>Fucking what
>call cops
>they have to forcibly get my id back from this old fucker
>cops tell me to go a mile down the road to a better liquor store
Fucking dipshit.
>>711693628
I work at a grocery store. Niggers always buying lobster tail, thick ass steaks and nothing but junk food on EBT cards. Every single day a nigger pack tries to buy fried chicken from the deli which isn't covered by food stamps. Every day I have to explain that they have to pay for it themselves. Everyday I hear a tribe of monkeys whooping and hollering that they've done it before. Everyday I get a customer complaint because of said tribe.
It's became a running joke at my store because 3/4ths of the complaint is either written in ebonics or completely illegible.
>>711693628
I could see the average gas station clerk not knowing that New Hampshire is a state.
Should have thrown them for a loop and said it was in "England"
>>711693628
When does hobbit hamlets start handing out ID cards? New Hampshire, is that what they named frodos home in the undying lands?
>>711693628
>Work at a pet store
>customer wants fish
>We are out of that kind but we will get a new shipment in friday
>"Your not even gonna go check in the back for me?"
I have always liked those stories of people having to deal with idiots in customer support so I took a job at this data center where people can rent servers and shit. I've been there for 2 1/2 months now and it is indeed fucking hilarious.
>woman rents server from us
>dedicated server with shitload of processing power, shitload of RAM, shitload of SSD space and fastest bandwidth we offer
>expensive as fuck
>get support ticket from her
>"I can't type in the password"
>herewego.jpg
>connect to server
>type in password
>everything working fine
>me:"Mam, everything seems to be working fine, what exactly keeps you from entering the password?"
>her:"I don't know, I can type in the username but when I type in the password nothing happens"
>she didn't know that on linux command lines it doesn't show the password or even stars when typing it
>explain to her
>her:"ah, good to know."
>me:"what exactly do you need the server for, if I may ask?"
>her:"I am the owner of a bakery and sometimes people send emails and we would like to have our own name in the address, not gmail or something so a coworker who knows computers said we need a server"
Ever since then we get about 5 emails per day from her asking for help. We told her she doesn't need a server to have her own domain but she made a contract for a whole fucking year. We could literally move her to our most basic VPS's and she wouldn't notice a damn thing.
>>711698220
Haha, that dumb bitch is basically donating to that data center. Nice.
>>711698220
Fuckin... ugh... that idiocy hurt my brain... last time I heard of a server that big, it was my clans server that hosted multiple games at once. Some fucking people, man.
>>711696954
oh fuck yes!
the "magical back room" where all your deepest desires lay waiting for you, you must only call for it and it is yours, because the main sales floor is merely a test to deter the faint of heart.
>>711696748
>whyareyoualive.mp3
Apex kek
>Be me 18 working at Arby's in 2011
>Been working there for 1 year 3 months
>We get a new girl about 17 and I have to train her because I'm leaving and she is my replacement.
>NoProblem.jpeg
>Work with girl for about 2 weeks and she gets a customer at the front.
>Orders some stupid 2 dollar sandwich.
>Guy comes back a minute l8r and slams said 2 dollar sandwich on the counter and throwing all the condiments in the sandwich on the counter.
>Screams that he didn't order tomatoes because they are nasty to him.
>Dude is a 45ish 6"2' about 300lb bald faggot screaming at a 17 year old girl for putting tomatoes on his sandwich.
>Girl is in tears.
>ThisGuyIsALiteralNigger.exe
>I come up front because of the yelling and crying.
>Say that I will change the dudes order for what he wanted.
>demands that he wants 2 now and a refund.
>Tell him we can't do that but can fix his order.
>claims he will file a lawsuit then he asks for the lawsuit paper work we have to give him.
>WhatTheFuckIsThisRetardTalkingAbout.png
>Tell him that doesn't exist
>Huffs and puffs, screams some insults for about 3 mins then leaves when we tell him we are about to call the police.
>That poor girl quit because she didn't want to deal with pieces of shit like him.
>yesterday 21st birthday
>go to buy booze
>sees my I'd
>you're not 21 its vertical not horizontal
(Idk about other states but in Illinois your I'd remains vertical until 21 when they rotate it
>Uh read the birthdate and expiry it's all good
>snatchesid.jpeg
>callscops.mp3
>mfw the police write the business a ticket
>>711700174
wow
some people are just obsessed to prove the world how amazingly deplorable they are
>>711700707
Do you ever tell the business owners that it must suck to be retarded?
>>711700810
It's always customer service and fast food places that get these types of people. They always attract the worst of societies and shit tier people.
>>711701014
I'm sorry for them then, hope society evolves a bit and those kind of animals realize that living in community means to behave, at least, neutrally not-like-a-dipshit... but kindness is deeply encouraged
>>711700814
It's a big fucking conglomerate here in the midwest. I called and complained after it happened considering they held me for 2 hours on my birthday and I could only get ahold of mudslimes on the fphone
>>711693628
you are all low iq homos.
homo cucktus.
IAM KING
HOMO MENSA MITGLIEDUS
>>711701666
checked satanic trips
>>711698220
I do your job but I own the servers. I literally jut move someone down, saying they are taking up resources, they will pay less and notice no difference. They dont care once you make it sound like youre doing them a huge favour.
>Old man wants server for his grandkid for minecraft
>"He said it needs to be a good one so he can have lots of people all over play with him"
>Chooses 200 euro a year server
>"Sir, the 30 euro package is actually perfect, ill even set up the server for him and he could host up to 50 people no problem"
>No it must be the small business package
>k
>month later contact his grandson and explain to him
>"He gives me the money to pay it anyway, so yeah do that and ill have 170 a year! (probably a lot for a 10 year old
Sometimes you gotta be a bro to kids
>>711701375
Why the fuck would you call to complain? Its not that big a deal.
>>711702000
Having the cops show up and hold me through my dinner reservations on my birthday for 2 hours? Yeah it's a big deal
>>711702000
Trips speaks truth, yet again.
It's a big deal when you're a future no-lifer that'll spend your 40s and 50s bitching about everything around you, and spending your whole day haunting retail store electronic sections.
This is how it begins, anon.
>>711702078
So you then went on to waste MORE of your time?
Yoooooooou're a quick one!
>>711702078
SO you wasted another two hours on the phone? Shit couldnt wait?
This is advanced autism
Work at Starbucks. Holiday drinks buy one get one. Lady wants large holiday drink and a small hot chocolate. I suggest a peppermint hot chocolate so that it's free. After I fucking help her out by getting her a free drink she realizes she could've gotten a large free peppermint hot chocolate. Complains and says "That's messed up!" A bunch of times. Like bitch I just got you a free drink, you wanted a small in the first place so I gave you a fucking free small one. Piss off.
>>711702000
>>711702399
Kek agrees with this anon. BTFO
>>711702399
Wasted 5 minutes on the phone and got a 50$ gift card and they offered to reimburse my deposit on my reservations
>autismo
Here's one everybody in retail can relate to. Had a customer try to yell at me because I let people cut in front of him. This was also at Starbucks, if you're familiar with the layouts he was way at the end of the pastry case nowhere near the register so everybody assumed he wasn't in line because... He fucking wasn't.
"I don't like your tone, let me speak to your supervisor!"
>mfw "I AM the supervisor"
>>711696790
3/5ths of the complaint
>>711702846
>>711693628
>be me
>work at apple store
>fruity fuckboy enters store
>18-22 years old
>asks me if i can fix his macbook pro
>tell him i can fix it and to follow me
>pull down pants and fuck in storage room
>jack him off as i plunge into tight boypussy
>cum into mouth, feel good
>>711702846
>>711702551
Did you know you would? Yeah, thats pretty autistic.
>>711696790
>written in ebonics
Kek and it hurts me that people treat that like a real thing. Can't people just call it what it is "improper use of the English language" or being "grammatically incorrect"
>I run a locally owned used vidya store
>in a very shit neighborhood so lots of niggers
>sell some autismo a PS2 game
>always check discs before I send them out but they get a 40 day warranty on nonfunctional goods
>kid comes back 2 weeks later with his parents
>apparently game was not working
>parents escalate immediately to reporting us to Better Business Bureau
>nothingoutoftheordinary.jpg
>check disc being returned
>scratched through to the data layer
>"This is probably why the game doesn't work anymore. We don't sell discs in this condition so it's likely this happened after the sale. I cannot return this item for full credit but I can at least buy it back for some store credit."
>parents enter chimp out mode
>waiting patiently for dad to insult me so I can kick him out
>patience pays off
>"Get the fuck out."
>"W-we won't be coming back again."
>"I'll try not to lose sleep over it."
>dad stands at the door trying to get me to come outside and "face him like a man"
>take bait and walk out
>dad must've realized I'm about a foot and a half taller than him and 100 pounds lighter
>he leaves spouting threats about calling the cops and boycotting the business
>two weeks later mom is back buying DS games
>>711703252
It is a real thing. Linguistics professor here. It is a recognized thing, akin to pidgin english
>work in shitty craft store
>stocking picture frames
>soccer mom model triple D looking at frames
>avoideyecontactdontmakeeyecontact.gif
>"I need a 20 by 16 frame, but all I see in this section are 16 by 20."
>I stare at her and blink. and blink and stare.
>"can you help me?"
>"uh...I think if you just turn it sideways, it'll work."
>"nooooo, I'll go to the other store where they know what they're talking about.
>see her walk away with Mercedes key fob dangling from her hand.
>woman who doesn't comprehend basic spacial skills has beat me in life.
>whatamidoingwithmylife.mp3
>>711703252
shut up nigger, no one lieks a cuck
>>711696790
>>711703252
k, then
"written in improper use of the English language"
or
"written in grammatically incorrect"
leave a good joke alone
>>711703386
Why would a society accept that as a language?
>>711703401
Just tell yourself she married up.
But IRL she works in finance. Those people are the dumbest sacks of shit anywhere but in front of numbers.
>>711703379
kek
well done, sir, they deserved it
>>711703430
Sorry let me say it in your tribes language. "Banana blm shoot out skeet skeet, welfare babies daddy coolaid.
>>711703706
>work in finance
>dumbest sacks of shit
>has a mercedes
something doesnt make sense here
>>711703694
cus niggaz be pimpin' fo it
>>711702425
You sound bad at your job. At least sugget that it could also be a large. She could've been short on cash as to why she ordered a small.
>Starbucks
Oh, yep. You definitely suck at jobs.
>>711703843
Baby dadies and kool-aid. Learn about a culture before you make a shitty attempt at degrading them.
>>711703187
Fucking kek
>>711693628
>go with some friends to a pub where they are doing nice sandwiches
>waitress is taking order
>"5 sandwiches with mayo"
>"we are not doing anymore sandwiches at this hour, shall I bring the mayo?"
>everybody is losing it and starts laughing
>bitch can't figure it out why we are laughing
>she was actually being serious
>this happened on this earth
>what's wrong with people
This happened 6 years ago
>be me, 20yo
>work for a caterer
>tasked with mainly cold cuts, delivering and other nigger-tier work
>also answer phones and take orders
>retard calls and wants to order lunch for 10 people
>"what would you like to eat?"
>"i just told you, lunch"
>"could you specify what you would like for lunch?"
>"whatever you serve for lunch that day, deliver it to [some adress] at 11:30 tomorrow
i tell the chefs an idiot made the order and that they can Cook whatever they like. They decide to make some fancy salmon thing.
>fast forward to closingtime the day of delivery, the phone rings
>its the retard, screaming his lungs out
>one of the guys was allergic to fish, allmost died
>"why did he eat it if he was allergic"?
>"because he didnt think he would be served fish because of his alergy"
>"we were not informed of any alergies"
>"I ORDERED LUNCH, NOT FISH"
>Be me working in a DVD store few years ago in Argentina.
>I have escaped from home, working at the early age of 15.
>My boss had a loot of goods, even tho I only sell DVDs and Ice cream.
>Make enough to live like a 15yo king, I used to rent a old room in a house.
>Now looking back at it, they had a girl slave there. She never left the room, I could only see her when I was paying the rent to the BB. Tied and everything, but alive.
Just 3rd world things. Anyway
>Apparently, DVD boss was selling crack to whores.
>that explains the huge amount of whores that get inside the store, not to buy DVDs but to go inside boss room
>that and of course, that everyone in Argentina has a thing for huge sluts.
>Time passes by and now boss trust in me enough.
>Gives me the stashes of crack, so he doesn't have to be in the B room and could go anywhere else.
>to fuck whores most probably.
>one day 2 huge amazing sluts gets in. Ask for some nice crack.
I don't know if I wanna continue, this place sucks anyway
>>711704164
Clearly you know the nignog speak better then I do, guess we found the nigger huh?
>>711703694
Why does society accept niggers as human?
>>711704287
holy shit, I facepalmed so hard that I broke my chair
>>711704074
nah, I get what that anon is saying. finance workers have the capacity to do very well in life. Their propensity to do well with figures and finances allow to do so well that it compensates for every other area of their lives where they make lack.
It doesn't matter if they can't tell the difference between toothpaste and icy hot, or if they're gullible enough to believe that 'I can charge my iphone in the microwave' bit, because the money they make makes up for everything.
>>711704428
cuz niggaz be pimpin' theyselvz
>Be 2013
>Worked as a collision estimator at a body shop
>Lady calls in for me to bitch about something on the estimate
>Says I got the color of her vehicle wrong
>Says it's not gold...
>It's pyrite
>I am left speechless
The reason people are being cunts is because some companies give out coupons and discounts when you complain. Those companies are the real issue, without them nobody would even bother to call a fucking support line to complain about irrelevant shit. That's what I like about the company I work for, we never give refunds or discounts or anything of the sort. Only thing that works is to threaten us with a bad review in which case you can get your way once but get blacklisted and will never be served by us again.
>>711698220
Really thought this was going to end by implying it was for Shillary.
>>711704304
Continue
>>711704304
pls cont anon
>>711702846
>>711704304
This sounds made up but go ahead please.
>>711705171
Argentina
>>711704469
post pics
>>711704749
what a fool
>>711705319
My aunt lives there and I went to visit her once. The most exciting thing I saw were two gay donkeys taking turns fucking each other.
>>711704304
fake as fuk but continue anyway
>>711705171
Dont think so, Im from the shithole of Honduras and sounds like a usual vidya store
>>711704304
> i asked them to follow me to the back room where the crack was
> i asked for the cash before actually handing them the crack because you never know if they'd run without paying
> they both made faces and said "we don't pay for that with money. give it to us, your boss will understand"
> i said "no, boss said don't hand out before they pay" then i told them to fuck off if they weren't gonna pay
> then one of them said "why don't we pay you with something else?"
> i said wut
> they they both grabbed me and started sucking on my pecker
> then one of them told me she was your mom
>>711705569
She tole you she was your mom?
>>711705569
Fucking kek
>Be locksmith
>Guy comes into the store. Need a new lock for his porch door.
>Show me pictures, I sell him a new lock
>Thats 200$ sur
>He pays
> 2 hours later he calls me.
>He cant figure out how to install it
>I drive up to his house and fix it.
>That will be 150$ sur
>He freaks out.
>YOU TOLD ME IT WAS 200 FUCKING DOLLARS.
>Thats just for the lock sir.
> Still doesn't understand that he need to pay for my time aswell as the lock.
>After 30 minutes of arguing he finally pays up.
>>711705569
this was your big shot at comedy?
>>711705673
> your mom
>>711705569
so your mom is a whore?
>>711705569
kek you're a hero
>>711705569
>>711693628
betafag did you punch her shit up?
I work in a computer shop.
>now press enter
>"where?"
>on your keyboard?
>"I HAVE NO KEYBOARD"
>...
>"Oh wait, right"
>"yes, hello, I'm looking to buy some powerline adapters"
>we have x, y and z
>"how many millibits are those?"
>"I installed this microsoft scanner and it says my computer is broken!"
>try explaining for 10 minutes it's a junk program that's trying to get em to buy their 'fix'
>"BUT YOU SOLD ME THIS <GENERIC AV> I THOUGHT I WAS PROTECTED AGAINST SHIT LIKE THAT
I came up with a good analogy to explain how an antivirus protects your computer, I'm sure more of you come across people like this:
>computer = house
>antivirus = alarm
>it will keep most thieves away
>but if you leave the door unlocked (= click accept on everything) they can still get in
>>711705171
>>711705014
>>711704972
Just for you. Anyway
> Prostitution is legal there, so there is nothing weird about seeing prostitutes all the time
>even traps
>I used to pay whores to suck my dick straight for hours while playing FIFA with my mates.
>some of them would hire traps, they are always cheaper.
Anyway following where I left
>The huge sluts, good fucking damn both were looking good.
>''Hello daddy we are looking for B, let me take out the money, its still 100 right? give me 4''
Or something like that I cannot remember what she said exactly, I was paying attention to those huge plastic boobs
>Both realize, but they don't care obviously
>I take out 4 little bags and hand them
>''Thanks gorgeous, can we use the bathroom''
>sure thing
>I had principles, and one of my principles is and will always be ''work is sacred''
>So no spying whores, had to keep an eye on the store.
>but one of them just left her bag on the counter
>I put it under the table because some costumers were asking for some ice cream.
I am gonna keep this, just wait. I have to make sure some shit
First, I am not this guy >>711705569 kek
Second,>>711705501 sure let me finish
And third>>711705460 is not the same living in a country, that being just a tourist. In Mar del Plata, there are literally hookers every single corner. They are not even hide.
anyway I will cont
>>711705998
>day old pc
>infected through every orifice
>"YOUR GUY THAT DELIVERED AND CONNECTED IT MUST HAVE DONE THAT"
>new ipad/S4/whatever shiny status symbol
>i dropped it/drove over it/dunked it in my salsa
>"what do you mean no warranty?!??"
>computer within warranty
>get bitched at because I won't fix the bloat and virii they installed themselves for free because muh warranty
>"my external hard drive crashed, can you please fix it"
>diagnose, it's fubar
>"BUT ALL MY PRECIOUS DATA DAT WAS MY BACKUP DISK"
>if it's a backup, you must have the originals on your computer, no?
>"NO I JUST TOLD YOU THAT WAS MY BACKUP"
>Well, if your data is so important, we can send it to a lab for recovery
>"YES"
>prices start at $1000 not including taxes
>"...nevermind, it's not -that- important"
>"my laptops' keyboard isn't working anymore"
>did you spill anything on it?
>"Nope"
>open it up
>sticky as fuck, brown goo, smells of coffee
>call em up
>someone spilled coffee over it, that'll be €80~150 (depends on brand) to fix
>"ermahgerd"
>"I tried plugging in my usb drive and my computer won't boot anymore"
>check the port
>plastic tab broken off
>all metal legs mangled together and mashed down
>show this to customer
>dat shame
>"my phone won't work anymore"
>did anything happen to it?
>"nope i take good care of it"
>take a closer look
>every corner has some dents
>even the fucking battery looks scratched
>explain this won't be covered by warranty because of user damage
>"omg that happened months ago and is totally not related"
>>711703401
>"uh....I think if you just turn it sideways, it'll work
i think if you had worded that differently, she would've thought you were making a joke.
>>711706087
>"my harddisk stopped working"
>"so I opened it up and took a look at it, that arm is just jumping up and down"
>"I checked online and they say you can replace this"
>explain how him opening it up already fucked it beyond repair, and that the people that can fix something like that do so in a controlled environment in a lab wearing special clothing and everything
>tfw that glimmer of hope dies
>customer brings in old pc for repairs
>turns out it can't be repaired
>he returns and rants for 15 fucking minutes about how horrible the service is
>we sold him crap, it is UNHEARD of that a computer dies after a mere 8 years of service etc etc
>customer buys new tablet
>returns the next day, claims it has problems booting
>colleague turns it on, "now what was the problem exactly?"
>"no no no you're doing it all wrong"
>colleague turns it off again and hands it back "please show me the problem"
>customer holds down the power button until the screen comes on
>keeps holding it
>which, of course, causes the thing to turn off mid-boot
>"See! That's not supposed to happen!"
>Sir, you don't need to hold the power button for so long
>"Don't tell me what to do! I know my stuff!"
>other colleague that hasn't heard what happened butts in
>tells the customer the same thing
>"I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG" etc
>he gets another tablet (against policy, but we're just trying to get him out of the store by now)
>returns later that day
>"THIS ONE HAS THE SAME PROBLEM"
>Boss flatout tells him he is the problem, and that he can have his money back if he promises to never set a foot in our store again
>customer calls us later that week
>he got a brandless tablet from a supermarket
>lo and behold, same problem
>still thinks he is doing it right and the technology is the problem
>What Windows are you using?
>"Windows 4?"
>"Wut?"
>"internet exploder 12"
>"Windows Vista 2010"
>"Word"
>>711706175
>colleague gets a call
>customer has trouble with Java update
>somewhere in the process she gets a little window with the buttons "Ok" and "More information"
>colleague spend the next fifteen fucking minutes trying to explain that the OK was to continue
>and not an "OK, I want More information"
>in 4 years I've rarely seen that man upset, but in the end he was yelling
>spyware infected computer
>those typical "ZOMG UR INFECTED BUY THIS TO FIX" programs
>fix it, he picks it up
>calls us 2 hours later, his internet won't work, and that's our fault
>he reinstalled 3 of those progs
>he paid for em
>"I just bought this printer and it won't work"
>take a quick look, doesn't work indeed
>give customer a new one
>she's back within 15 minutes "I can't get the plastic protection out"
>suspiciousasfuck.apk
>take it out of the box
>the flatcable running to the printhead is dangling out the front
>"the manual said to take out all that plastic stuff"
>closely check the first printer
>she managed to yank out the flatcable completely
>and insisted she wasn't at fault, the manual was unclear
>>711706222
>our external drive stopped working
>my brother is good with this stuff, he took a look at it but can't fix it either
>could you try to recover my photos?
>"Sure thing"
>as I pick up the disk I notice the top sticker is loose
>... did your brother open this (the actual disk) as well?
>"Yes?"
>politely explain how it's most likely FUBAR now
>Her smile and optimism: Gone
>customer addicted to some browser game
>plays on laptop with broken fan
>has to -run- to freezer every hour to switch out the cold packs its resting on
>I just lost everything on my phone!
>swipe to next homescreen
>"oh"
>old lady calls us about a problem with her phone
>start explaining something
>she stops me because she can't find her phone
>5 minutes later she realizes it's the one she's calling with
>laptop won't boot
>Have you tried to remove the battery?
>"When I push button a slide comes out is that battery?"
>repair a PC
>customer does system restore immediately after pickup, back to the point when it was fucked
>because his printer didn't work anymore
>we now remove restore points
>>711705714
$150 installation fee
did it take you like 3 days to do it?
>>711700707
>vertical not horizontal
What does this even mean?
>>711703694
Why is a voiced alveolar nasal inherently inferior to a velar nasal when saying the participle form of a verb?
Pro tip: it's not
>be me
>2 weeks ago
>shop has off licence at the back with its own till
>purchase bottle of tonic with no ID
>walks to store front
>asks to purchase rolling papers
>"ID pls"
>*gestures to bottle*
>"thats not ID"
>>711706323
pic related
>>711701814
cheers to u
>>711693628
This is one of the most hilarious stories I have ever read. Jesus Christ this is amazing.
Also, I guess women CAN be retarded. Who knew?
>>711706279
plz stop, this is so depressing
>>711696954
I had a customer wait 6 hours for me to get off work so he could fight me, just because I wouldn't check in the cooler for his beer. If we're on staff by ourselves, the company doesn't let us go in the cooler. He got mad when I wouldn't let HIM go get it himself.
Police had to chase him down and the store is filing assault charges.
>>711706323
>>711706737
this is true for a lot of states in the US
>>711696748
Why is this so funny to me?
>>711705714
>$200 lock for a porch
>$150 install
I call bullshit
>>711706865
Because you have no joy in your life so you extract it from stupid ass posts on a blog for retarded people
>>711700174
I would have given him 3 sandwiches and spit on all of them.
>>711706289
10 min. I banged ur mom the remaining days and hours
>>711707041
Philosophically speaking, what good is it to spit on someone's sandwich if you're not gonna tell them.
On another note, if you really wanna piss them off, you could just lie about spitting in their sandwich.
>go to walmart for beer
>grab 30 pack of cheap shit
>go to pay for it
>cashier asks for id
>show her id
>old id I got when I was 18 so it was vertical rather than horizontal
>"you're not 21, I can't sell you this beer"
>tell her to look at the birth date
>loading.jpg
>I still can't sell you this beer because it's the wrong kind of id
>ask to see her manager
>manager was standing right there anyway
>he looks at my id
>says it's good
>she rings me up
>glares at me the entire time
>tell her to have a wonderful night and leave with my beer
>mfw
>>711706279
>>711706222
>>711706175
>>711706087
>>711705998
This is fucking gold, haven't laughed so much in days. Thank you.
>>711706990
You're not wrong.
>>711706423
Kek, I like you anon
>>711706723
Well its not.
>>711706014
>>711706014
>time goes by and the whores are nowhere to be seen.
>The purse I put under my table was ringing all the fucking time and was driving me nuts.
>I never cared about whores staying in B room, but not in the bathroom.
>I was too stupid to realize what was going on.
>I go to the front of the store and lock everything, so no one could stole my precious DVDs
>I grab the purse while its still ringing and head my way to the bathroom
>I start feeling weird as I cross the hall to the bathroom
>I hear some sobbing, and huge breaths, followed by some coughs
>It was too late for me to take a step back
>as I was processing everything, I reached the bathroom door, I walked in like I would normally walk into any other side. Fast short steps.
>Then I see it, the whore, the sexiest one, this blonde tall beauty, with a full bikini latex, and those heels man, those heels, giving me her back, holding something in between her both hands.
>the cellphone is still ringing
>she turns back
>shes holding a gun
>a mf gun
>she says ''where did you get that purse''
>as I am thinking my answer, my eyes got the other hooker lying on the ground.
>holy shit I fuck it up
Continue, sorry for taking so long.
>working in a subway next to a nightclub
>every friday,saturday enters fun/strange people
>were open close to 24hours a day except sundays, this day was calm.. a tuesday.. getting late and a 8/10 girl comes in alone.
>orders a sub but dont have cash to pay for it
>tells me she can pay in another way..
>she comes in to the staff room and its bout to start.
>she starts blowing my cock, feels like heaven.
>don't wanna cum by blowjob, want to get on to fucking. she takes her pants off but only back of her ass.
> ask her why not pussy? she says she wants to do anal.
>well, bang her hard and cums deep in ass.
>when she takes her pants on i can see something sticking up from the front (of her pants)
>realises it was a fucking tranny looking very very similar to a girl? thought it was a girl for real
throws her out and her sub on her
>from this day i was never the same
>>711707334
You're welcome.
>>711707810
How does this tier of damage even occur?
>>711707286
The silent but oh sooo fucking rewarding feeling of complete retribution by coughing up some phlegm to hork onto some sad motherfuckers food,
Kind of like keying some dipshit's ride after he cut you off in traffic and flipped you off and forgot to check his mirrors when you decide to follow him for 12 miles and he parks outside a strip joint and you carve 31 profanities deep through the base coat right to the fucking metal.
That's satisfaction!
>>711696748
Harold we aren't going to tell you again, stop taking IDs
>>711707875
I think it is dirt.
>>711705460
Sounds about right.
>>711707875
Neglect, it's 'just' dust.
>>711708158
I've had a dusty ass computer but dear fucking lord nothing like this
>>711698220
>a coworker who knows computers said we need a server
>a coworker who knows computers
>said we need a server
Fire them because they don't know fucking SHIT about anything.
>work a walmart service desk
>returns all day erry day
>"Hey I have <thing> I don't have the box or the receipt I want my cash"
>lolno
>"WHY NOT"
>we have no proof you bought it from here, or even that we sell <thing>
>"I PAID MAH MONEH U GOAN GIVE ME MAH MONEH"
>sure, if you can get me the receipt
>"LEMME TALK TO YO MANAGER"
>manager says the same thing verbatim
>"IMA CALL CORPORATE ON YO ASSES"
>k
>this happens at least once per day around the holidays
>return policy on airbeds is fucked because people would buy them, use them once, and return them
>basically if its open we'll only exchange it so we don't lose dosh, and I have to open the new one so they don't return that one for cash
>at least once a day someone tries to get cash for an airbed
>"I ONLY SLEPT ON THIS THING ONCE"
>receipt from 2 months ago
>smells overwhelmingly like smoke
>covered in dirt and unidentifiable stains
>nah dude
>"GET ME YOUR MANAGER BITCH IMA GET YOU FIRED"
>manager says gtfo
>"NAH MAN I PAID MONEY FOR THIS, THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT"
>customer comes in with steaks that were bad, wants a refund
>my bad dog, lemme fix that for you
>"I want the money from my charcoal too"
>sure, let me see the charcoal
>"I already used it"
>wut
>"I wasted it on your shitty steak, I want a refund for that too"
>dude, did the charcoal light?
>"Yeah, it did"
>then it wasn't defective, I can't give you money for that dude
>"I WANNA TALK TO YOUR MANAGER"
>he shouts at management for a while until they roll over and give him a small bag of charcoal
>>711707318
In AZ, you cannot buy alcohol if you have a vertical ID and 30 days have passed since your 21st birthday. Unless you have an out-of-state ID
>>711708384
>Fire them because they don't know fucking SHIT about anything.
to be fair they might have said mail server, or even mail service. still, hard to defend because he should have just said get Google apps for business. or even GoDaddy for fucks said, for something like 5.99 a month.
>>711708508
i instictevly picture black people int his scnario pissing u off m8
>be me 22
>working as a bartender in a shit club
>obese elderly man waddles over to the bar
>rests beer gut on the bar and asks for a vodka
>he's obviously over 21 but I like to piss people off so I ask for id
>he looks in his wallet for 10 minutes
>bloodpressurerising.jpeg
>after rigorous searching he pulls out his bank card
>I tell him that isn't a form of id
>the bar is over 21 only
>I ask him to leave if he can't present id
>he goes supernova
>explodes with insults
>starts punching a bar stool
>screaming about how he's 58
>bouncer escorts him out
>>711698817
cool
>>711708384
The coworker of the woman said that. Obviously. Are you high?
>>711708676
Mein Neger
>>711708508
You should have made him get the ashes of the charcoal because you need to send the defective item back to the manufacturer. Would have been fucking hilarious.
>>711703401
story feels good
>>711708508
>this happens at least once per day around the holidays
Why Holidays though?
>>711707643
Waiting
>>711708508
Jesus fucking Christ, thank god I never plan on working at Walmart. I'm sorry that happens to you m8, that sucks. Whats the worst (in your opinion) that's ever happened to you working there.
>>711709131
max kex
>>711709131
this is genius
>>711708676
kek, god damn nigga you're a dick.
>>711708676
HAHAHA poor oldfag maybe only wanted to kill himself with alcohol
>>711709250
Because people are niggers around the holidays when it comes to customer support jobs.
>>711707643
hope you post before 404
>>711709805
Ok then
>>711700707
Here iz your face* pleb
>>711708676
> I like to piss people off so I ask for id
So you're basically the kind of person everyone else here is complaining about.
>>711706175
>>customer holds down the power button until the screen comes on
>>keeps holding it
>>which, of course, causes the thing to turn off mid-boot
Confiscate the device, tell him he's too retarded to use it. Your IQ has to be This High before you're allowed to use electronics.
>>711707182
Kek
>>711706175
windows 4 made me legit lol
>>711708158
are these pics of computers that u saw on the job?
>>711706279
>>we now remove restore points
And now I know who not to take mine to.
Oh wait, I work on computers.
Never mind...
>>711702645
Yo fuck tard heres your face*
>>711709471 Sorry mates I will
>>711709933
>>711707643
Cont
>holy shit I fuck it up
>Freeze
>I look calm, but I am spaghetti as fuck on the inside
>So doesn't say a single word, she just shouts and points the gun at me repeatedly like if the force of her pointing it at me is gonna make the bullet fire itself.
>All while shouting with every gun pointing.
>her face is red and dirty from the makeup mixed with saliva and tears.
>oh man, she still had the needle in her arm
>you could she how it spins still attached to the arm with every movement she made.
>Blood in the arm.
>one last shout, one more needle spin and I feel like I am gonna lose it.
>Put my hands up fast as fuck.
>scared the shit outta her.
>she somehow trips hard as fuck, like real hard to the floor.
>top ten slide
>drops the gun
>the needle flies away
>she looks at me, like if I just grounded her
>she cries, how ugly is to see a drugged women cry.
>I leave the purse on the ground, and I get close to her.
>hug her avoiding the bleeding arm and tell her that everything will be fine.
>patting her head and all.
>stay like that for a minute, shes getting calm
>then she starts shaking
>Oh man an epileptic seizure
cont
>>711710899
bump
>>711693628
>>>711696954
No idea what kinda store you guys work in but in sainsburys, we have a fucking huge warehouse with tons of extra shit in.
>>711706289
>3 days of work
>$150
Where the fuck do you work?
>>711710899
Please tell me this is the story of how you lost your virginity/met your first love
>>711710899
You were 15 btw?
Kids living like you were in Argentina wouldn't know jack shit of english... When did you learn ?
>>711710899
God dammit these are too short and take to long to make them! Need them faster anon! its getting spicy
>>711710238
Yup
>>711710161
No joke, people still say 'internet exploder'
>>711710349
If you need someone else to fix your computer because you fucked it up beyond recognition by not thinking before you click, you don't get to decide what restore points you keep.
>>711711825
I would take a sledgehammer to that laptop
Fuck that
>still walmart service desk
>dude brings a TV to return
>open box
>tv doesn't fit properly in box, strike 1
>electrical plug is bent, and covered in paint, strike 2
>tv brand doesn't match the box or receipt, strike 3
>yo dog this tv isn't the one that's supposed to be in here
>"what do you mean man"
>this should be a samsung tv, but this one is a vizio, what's up with that
>"one of your workers must've done that, I just got it, never opened it"
>suuuure buddy, we'll get on the cameras and see what happens with it
>"nah dude just give it back to me I'll take it to another walmart, asshole"
>k
>loss prevention looks at the cameras, watches him take the TV out of the box and replace it with another one from his car in the parking lot
>gg
>>711711825
ho lee fuk
>>711701814
i like you
>>711711272
>>711711541 Sorry anon I lost my V card to my cousin in Argentina. She was older.
>>711711549 I learned from some books that somehow reached my hands, that, and the movies. In my short life I have done and seen plenty of weird and crazy shit. Also learn a lot and met a lot of wise people, but this story is not one of those wise moments.
>>711711602 Sorry mate, going faster as I can
>>711710899
Cont
>while calming her, I was looking from time to time the gun, and the other whore on the ground, she seemed to be fine.
>well not fine, her arm was blue as fuck, she was totally gone, saying things like that nirvana song
>''hello'' ''hello'' ''I dont know''
>she obviously couldn't stand up but around whores, never relax
>then the whore in my arms starts shaking
>Oh man an epileptic seizure
>whore on the ground shaking real hard in my arms
>Put her on the side, grab the purse really quick and put it to her as a pillow. I knew little about seizures.
>So I kick the gun far from us, so the needle and some shit, a spoon.
>I run to the other whore.
>the other whore tried to hang on me and fell on her head
>I was not even close what the fuck
>I grab her arm and untie the shit around her arm
>shes still moaning in the ground
>and there I am, laying in the ground, with a seizure whore and a KO whore in the bathroom, hard as fuck.
>The hormones kick in, I was about to do something really stupid.
>the seizure whore was sure hot as fuck, and shit fam, that sweet pussy was calling me
>those boobs were shaking so fast.
Cont
>>711710899
hurry the fuck up
>>711711407
Confirmed. Worked in sainsburys london. 2 days worth of stock in back room. Occasionally things that weren't even officially for sale but were dispatched by depot anyway. Duty Manager called george had a pet cactus that he carried with him and talked to it on the way home.
![ZJEExoX[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/neVPlkX.png "ZJEExoX[1].png")
>work in grocery at Publix
>get to stock shelves and help out the customers
>old people always complaining that we move things around
>even though we don't
>have two really odd regular customers
>a lady that once a month buys like 12 - 20 bags of our unscented cat litter
>it comes in 30 lb bags
>we get more cat litter than the other stores around us because of that
>another guy comes in once a month as well
>buys up all our Publix brand diet lemon lime soda in the two liters
>but the catch is that he will only buy it if it is still in the original packaging
>the two liters come in packs of six
>he sometimes buys up to five of these packs
>if we don't have any he comes in next week
>>711713337
oh god that brings back nightmares, I once had a laptop that was owned by two smokers before me, when I got it the thing would overheat and die from youtube, eventually I got mad and dissected it and the heatsink was full of dark brown dusty tar, it was horrifying
don't smoke around your computers, kids
>>711711825
how the fuck is google still the standard search engine and default page?
>used to work at a bulk barn
>customers are too fill bags and write product codes for foodstuffs
>After entering codes everything is sold by weight
>one guy goes to by a giant bag of licorice.
>comes to about $40 for the bag
>he didn't like that
>trying to explain to him that the scale does not need recalibration
>try to explain to him how volume works
>"Well somebody fucked up"
>implying
Another one
>old lady asks for oatmeal
>There's tons of kinds
>asking what kind
>"I want oatmeal"
>"over there"
>I don't like this service and so you know I won't be coming back here
>smh bitches don't understand the difference between retail and sales
>>711712571
turns out the whore he fucks is his mom?
>>711712616 On it
>>711712571
Cont
>I dont even have to think about it.
>I took off my pants in one smooth movement.
>and then a little light of wisdom hit my head
>''I need a condom''.
>holy shit I aint going raw in some street whores, that would be suicide.
>I was about to sell my soul to the devil for a condom that was no place to be found in my head, I was gonna miss this chance.
>bitches must have them
>they wouldn't ran out of shells
>I reached the purse fast as fuck. Raising the head of the seizure bitch a little so I can look for condoms.
>start getting desperate, take the purse and hear the head of the whore hit the floor.
oops, anyway
>one single condom (the high quality ones, plenty garbage ones), bless my luck.
>put the purse on her place.
>Still running with my pants down. I would have been looked like a retard running around the bathroom with my dick hard and the pants down.
>Whore is lay on one side, with that tremendous ass shining like glory.
>I put the condom, and I grab that shaking amazing ass.
>I was about to enjoy the living shit of a drugged whore in a bathroom while she had a seizure.
Cont
>>711713581
Yup. This one was owned by a heavy smoker for ~10 years
>>711713797
No idea.
>>711705422
SO UNDERRATED
>>711693628
Owned an electronic repair store. Old dude comes in with an old printer. Pull out the Fry's ad, sir, if you go buy this it will be much cheaper, better etc. Its okay, he says, I need this for a dos 3.1 application (2011). We still try to talk him out of it. He insists, so we print out a disclaimer, all fees up front, include the fry's ad, etc. Parts/labor are like $350 and hard to find because the printer is so old. Complete the job, customer picks up printer. A couple of days later the old man returns, has his 35 year old son, holding the printer. You guys are taking advantage of an old man! I'm going to report you to every tv station in town for taking advantage of a senior citizen. I show him the paper he signed, my tech was there. I don't care, the son says, any idiot knows you can install windows 7 much cheaper and we'll get a new printer, etc, we want our money back. The old guy starts playing like altzheimer, I dont remember signing that paper, etc, I never seen you before. Shit. Ok, I'll refund your money. Count out the money. They start walking out. Excuse me, but the printer is mine, I put $350 in parts and labor in that. The old guy starts to stammer, its an old printer what are you going to do with it. Probably throw it in the garbage when you leave. Old guy says, what if I give you a couple of bucks for it. Sure, $350 and its all yours. The old guy grumbles something to the son, I think he was pissed, puts the printer down. Wouldn't you know it, I was there late that night, look out and see father and son combing through the garbage looking for that old printer, lol.
>be me
>2011
>be computer engineer in my own shop
>customer comes in with friend
>wants prices of latest hardware and how soon we can get it
>inform him 4 days maximum and offer a small charge to build the PC for him
>customer rejects the offer "dats ok anon, my buddy can do it, he is an expert at computers"
>the dreaded "expert at computers" was used this will not go well
>4 days later customer comes and pays for goods
>some nice stuff for the time, i5, 590GTX etc
>1 day passes
>anon flies through the door with computer in hands
>"what you trying to pull anon, you sold me defective goods I want my money back now!!"
>flashback to "expert at computers"
>funnily enough his friend isn't with him
>take computer to workbench opened up
>ALL the silver compound everywhere
>on the ram
>on the motherboard
>on the GPU
>on the god damn HDD
>friend jizzed his load of compound onto everything
>inform customer "no way jose are you getting a refund. this was deliberately done."
>"wh...wh...what... I will call the police this is fraud...this...wh.."
>"No anon, your "expert" friend has put a conductive material over everything when it is only for between the CPU and heatsink, it has shorted out anything that it touched with a circuit board."
>His HDD is fine as it didn't pass a charge to anything.
>£2500ish wasted because of the "expert at computers" thought it would keep everything cool
>storms out shop declaring he will ruin me and tell everyone how shady I am.
>1 month later customer comes back and asks me to buy stuff again and for me to build it
>tell customer to suck my nuts and fuck off.
>best day ever
>>711707882
spotted the edgy faggot
gb2/livejournal/
>>711714162
This is heatsink right?
>>711705673
no. your mom
>>711714522
Indeed. This is the fan that was on it >>711706279
We replaced the fan because it wouldn't turn any more, totally clogged up. He got lucky, another customer told us to throw out his old pc, and it had the exact same fan on it (some odd size that wasn't used anymore, so we didn't have it on stock).
And I had to clean the heatsink under running water, really scrubbed it, and it still wasn't completely clean. Caked on tar-dust.
Bump I don't want this thread to die!
>>711708676
Pour yourself a discount bottle of bleach.
>>711714075
please continue anon, don't let our dreams die like this
>>711715241
I am the anon with the compound story above a couple of posts.
I once had a PC brought in with the customer complaining there is a rattling noise.
I thought maybe a loose heatsink not on correctly.
No it was god damn toys inside the case... how the hell did they not see them when they told me they have the side casing removed to keep the heat down on the CPU, surely they would have seen putting the side casing back on.
Weird stuffs man.
I have seen some shit.
>be me work at shitty burger king
>fat gorilla walks in
>ye uh "can i get 2 WaPPAS no tomatoes"
>do order
>10 minutes later
>I hear nigger music loud as those 20$ speakers can go
>front door opens
>"HEY DIDNT I ASK FOR TOMATOES ON MY BUGA"
>mam you said no TOMATOES
>she throws nigger fit saying i'm racist
>manager says " i'm a call the cops if you don't leave"
>never seen Shamu run that fast before.jpg
>>711700707
Yeah it's like that in Mississippi but they change it at 18 instead.
I've gotten a lot of looks because I got my license 6 days before my 18th birthday. So they just see that it's vertical and tell me no for cigarettes, so I have to point out the "Under 18 Until" blah blah blah.
>>711715241
I've only recently built my first PC, but how in the EVER LOVING FUCK does something like this happen? I had a GPU fan choked with dust that I cleaned (because it kept overheating and rebooting my PC, thank fuck I'm only mildly retarded), but nothing of that level. And hopefully never.
>be working at Frisch's Big Boy (chain in Ohio)
>sitting guests, bussing tables, ect.
>woman storms up to register, demands to speak to manager
>her server apparently didn't give them enough attention, even though he was one of the best we had
>bitches and moans, ends with 'i dont want that nigger serving me again'
>server is, in fact, black (only slightly niggerish)
>manager tells her to get out and don't come back
Glad I put that bullshit behind me.
>>711714266
I had an account at a medium sized business get a call HP Laserjet printer broken at their accounting office. My tech is a crackerjack, but can be lazy. Tech calls in, I'm done and going home. Ok. Get a call from the company owner, printer doesn't work and now my worker's computer is no longer working as well. No way the printer repair can do this. Owner is irate, we need that fixed now. Its like 6 pm, now. Ok, ok, I call my tech. Tech says, no way he fixed it, tested it, but maybe something else, blown circuit breaker, etc., Can you go by and check this out, I'll pay overtime, etc. Tech goes by their office, all closed up. I call the owner. Oh my worker is at his house. We get the worker's number, call him try to convince him that there is no way us working on his office computer could screw up his HOME computer, lol. So, send my tech over, his ink jet printer (not the laserjet), computer no power. Worker: I turned it on, it worked fine, mid typing, it turned off. Whatever you guys did burned up my home computer. My tech follows the cords back to a power strip, fat cat sitting on it, flips the switch, whoa, everything comes back on.
We helped this faggot out and that business never used our services again, I think they were so embarassed.
>>711714075
Want to hear the rest of it, if thread 404s make new one anon
>>711715574
tell me about it
>>711706939
Service call alone can be anywhere from 60-100+ dollars for a locksmith. And then whatever they charge hourly
If you get someone to come to your house and they end up not doing anything you still get charged because they came out. Why you ask? Gas, time spent paying the employee, and schedule changes from the route.
Source: I do deliveries. No im not a pizza pleb
>>711696748
lol bro nice story
>>711700707
>mfw
>no mfw
>>711714058 nein
>>711715460
>>711716523
>>711714075
>ass be shaking in my hands
>pussy be drooling, and so does she
>that pussy was so hungry for cock
Shit I am going lust crazy as a write this.
>Think to myself that going casual will be a waste
>So anal must go first
>That ass, holy shit
>I lay on my knees, and put press my dick into her ass
>as I force my dick into that thick warm inside ass I start looking to the roof
>I found glory on that ass.
>damn I must stare the ass
>Hormones kicks in
>I fuck her like dogs fuck
>fucking feeling it
>shes still waving her arms and going full epileptic on the ground
>I cant stop, I am about to cum
>then try to stop, I cant let the condom to go waste
>but even tho I stopped, THE ASS STILL SHAKING
>I am about to, my fucking sides that ass has no brakes
>grab my dick with my hand and choke it
>pull it out, and the proceed to switch between her ass and her pussy
>One for you, one for you
>start playing around
>It was difficult to reach the wholes with her moving all the time
>start counting, the one that first reaches 15 will be where I finish
>see blood near her face
>reach out her face
>she seems to have bitten her cheek, or her tongue
>I couldn't care less at this point
Anyway
>I lose the count
>so we go again
>15 goes pussy
>Slide it in, that amazing warm feeling again
>I slide hard and slow, with every thrust.
>grab her from one tit and the armpit and raise her as I cum inside her
>I wonder if it looked like fucking one of those balloon people for advertising
>pic related
>drop her down
>hear a splat on the ground, and flop flop like fish outta the water, but I don't care
>rest my dick inside her pussy while its still shaking
>ass shaking got my dick hard again, but shaking in less intervals now.
>Pull it out, with condom and everything > >point is full of cum >Now proceed to switch whores.
Cont Too many lines says 4chan
Works at retailstore.
>Buff dude asks where the potatoes is
>I point him in the direction of them
>He comes back saying they're gone
>"Well, that's the last we have for today then"
>He spends the next 5 minutes asking why they are gone and/or sold out? and tops it off with "That's like a butcher running out of meat" while trying to intimidate me calling me a smartass for stating the obvious
>>711716472
You suck at storytelling.
>>711700707
>>711702645
fucking idiots using mfw & no actual mfw
>>711716472
please never write anything again.
>be me
>17
>working at McDonald's
>cliché ikr
>ham planet starts ordering shit off the menu
>"I'll have 2 big macks, no pickles. Two chicken sandwiches. A large Pepsi and a large Coke.Two mcdoubles. And uhhh.... Are you guys still doing the sale for the chicken nuggets? You know, buy one get one free?"
>yeah why
>"okay well I'll get three 10 piece mcnuggets"
>"oh, does the buy one get one free count for 3?"
>uhhhh no?
>"oh. make it 4 then."
>he just added another box of nuggets to his diabetes shitlist
>"oh and I'll get two medium mcflurries"
>"and uhhh.... A quarter pounder with cheese."
>"can I also get a double cheeseburger?"
>he has to be with someone
>"make that two"
>tell him how much he owes at the pay window
>hamplanet drives off
>the fuck just happened
>dude i work with at the pay window sees him drive up
>it's him and his fat pig wife
>he weighs like 400 pounds at least
>his stomach is touching the steering wheel
>his wife is atleast 350 pounds
>after a bit he hands him the money
>he drives off
>dude noticed that the front of the car is lowerd down more than the back
>after work ends my friend who also works their comes up to me
>"did you see that fat dude in the minivan? we had to give him like three bags of food."
>me and him started talking shit about ham planet and his pig wife
>we were laughing our asses off and the story became popular around school the next day
>found out that this fat kid in 5th grade was their son
>he wanted to fight me
>after school that day he comes out to where the buses were
>he starts throwing punches
>he misses like all of them
>clearly out of breath
>walk to the bus and go home
>whatagreatday.jpg
>>711701814
how tf a 10 y/o get 200 euro a year?
is child brothel legal where u live
>>711703379
>autismo
Not exclusively responsible for bead behaviour
>About a week ago
>Go to the cinema to watch Dr strange alone
>Take out £20 gift card
>suddenly realise that I can torrent the film
>Buy £20 worth of snacks
>Cinemas doesnt have carrier bags
>Awkwardly walk out holding all those snacks some overflowing out pockets.
>Watch a poorly filmed Cam version of Dr Strange whilst eating snacks.
>Mfw
>>711717072
Guys I wont be able to finish today. I must do some important stuff at my college right now. It was fun. I will finish it in the future if one you guys wants it. The story even has condom farts, I will tell you later guys take care.
>>711717528
You is have the tard. Go reread it. It makes perfect sense you fucknugget.
>>711716677
let me guess, that was inside the cd/dvd tray and it wouldn't pop out, so you got a souvenir?
I was working at a Kroger when some faggot "reported" me for saying all niggers are trying to kill whites
>mfw I should've
>>711703401
>>711703706
>>711704074
>people still impressed over someone owning a mercedes
do you know how many C class mercedes there are out there now? that's the budget barebones mercedes. a fucking kia has better options for 30% less than the mercedes c class.
>>711717835
>You is have the tard
>>711717514
where the fuck do they get cash to pay for their shit food? it's not like they could work any decent job with that whale body
>>711714075
>I was about to enjoy the living shit out of a drugged whore in a bathroom while she had a seizure
>implying
>>711717897
No, it was behind the front panel, and we gave it back to the customer.
>usb short
>>711716472
A young educated looking nigger comes in with printer under his arm, has a receipt, still under warranty. Uhhh how much. No charge, still under warranty. Tech orders parts, repairs and tests it, calls the guy he picks up printer, all smiles. We get a call a couple of days later, no longer feeding paper, etc. Bring it by, we take a look at it maybe a roller came loose, etc. We had a huge back log of work. Nigger calls up, status? Umm, turn to the tech, he motions to the printer on the shelf. A couple of more days. Tech grabs the printer and an AA battery rolls out, falls on the floor. Shakes the printer another battery rolls out. Puts paper in it, tests it out, works fine. I tell the tech wait a day or two before calling the guy. He forgets, calls the guy like an hour later. Nigger comes to the store, irate. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO PULL A SCAM OR SOMETHING?? We explain about the batteries, its not my fault, you guys must have done it. Didn't it print for a couple of days at your house? Yes, but I didn't put those batteries in there, I'm not stupid. I ask if he has young children in the house, yes he's 3, he wouldn't do that, etc. Are you saying my son is stupid, now getting ever more angry. Sir, there was no charge both times. Nigger: I don't care I'm going to call the police on the scam you are pulling. Me, please do. He calls, police never come.
>>711718001
I think the mom is an accountant and the dad has a job at home
>>711718001
Easy to have money when you're on disability and have everything paid for. Just how niggers live in section 8 housing and drive new cars.
>>711704287
What a fucking dumbass. I love fish for lunch. Fish is best lunch.
>>711718252
>>711717745
>>711717072
I really wanted to finish this one out, and I though I could before I had to go, but its simply a long story. I don't want to ruin the fun. Until next time anons.
Literally happened last week
>be plumber
>simple service call at peoples house
>notice brand new water heater and other gizmos, we didn't put in
>we ask why
>tells us they didn't know we did that stuff
>facepalm
>we gave them multiple business cards that say we do all that shit
>ended up paying 3400 dollars for work that we charge 1600 for
>>711717237
Wait til I write the one about your mom taking on all the guys in the bathroom at the gas station, faggot.
>>711718377
>>711718377
fuck off already
>>711717625
>>711701666
Noice trips
>>711717383
Triggered autist still living in mom's basement?
>be me
>working at johnny carinos(some Italian chain restaurant)
>it's late morning so I'm the only server on the floor
>this trashy white bitch comes in with her 5 niglets
>i doubt she could afford to eat here
>after ordering full meals for everyone she then forces everyone to get dessert
>i bring the check and she gawks at it for a few minutes.
>takes all but her oldest kid to the parking lot
>he's a nigger, but he's also just an dumb young kid.
>pays me, but complains about a hair in one of the desserts.
>that thing was down in there and we don't make it on site so i believe him
> i take it off the check and fix everything.
> he leaves and comes back because his mother wants at least half the check comped for it
>grab my manager
>she argues with this dumb nigger loving bitch for 15 minutes in front of the restaurant
> has to comp the entire check but i got a $3 tip ($60 dollar check)
> I hate serving niggers and nigger lovers.
>>711718820
not that guy but that was rather tedious to read
look at how the rest of the niggers are using greentext
>
>workign for a telecom company as its customer service
>get at least 4 calls a day of people who have their TV source on the wrong port
>some old fuck calls me up
>explain to him remote control source
>fast forward 20 minutes
>have to transfer him to company of his television because after 20 minutes this old tard still hasn't located the source/input button.
fuck people.
>>711718252
>mom is an accountant
I work as an accountant and I never saw someone over 120kg
>dad has a job at home
Makes more sense since nobody want to see fat disgusting people
>>711700174
People like that wind me up. I literally cringe if someone complains about things like tomatos or lettuce being in their food.
Unless you're allergic, scrap that shit out you lazy cunt.
>>711693628
i live in NH also, you're the first anon on here i've seen from here
>>711719326
newfag
>>711711504
Probably Ameristan
>>711718853
>damn coal burners
Your manager shouldn't have comped them shit.
> long long time ago in walmart
> looking for doom 3 on pc.
> ask cashier if they have it, she doesn't know, calls manager.
> ask him if they have doom 3
> "duel 3?"
> can't find it, look at another game.
> ask if he likes it or not
>litterally reads the game features off the back of the box.
> for some reason i bought it.
>Got lockpicking set at 14
>70% of locks open faster than your mother's legs after some months practice
>20, studying, but I do lockouts for 50$ including callout because I had a shitty scooter.
>Friend of a friend of a friend locked out, agreed with price.
>Get there, turns out theres a gate and a door.
>Second one was hard but he had some dank we smoked and I kept around a gram
>Ok fuck it 2 for 1 then.
>When it opened he said wait ill get the cash
>Didn't come back and ignored my knocking.
>Drive scooter to end of the road, spend night in bushes, take his flatscreen when he leaves in the morning
>mfw
>>711717625
there is a hi-res version out now
I thought the plot was shit.
'Oh, you might be Einstein, but you don't know what David Blaine knows; MAGIC, it's real' pls
Who tf writes these stories?
Anyway, the hi res version looks real nice.
Doctor Strange 2016 HD-TS x264 AC3-CPG
>>711719463
kek
>>711717336
mfw them mufukkin idiots do dat shiet
>>711718199
you write worse than the nigger
HI DUMBFUCKS WHATSUP
>>711719463
>>711719165
fuck ziggo kanker bedrijf
>>711718598
learn to string sentences together properly you fucking nigger
DON'T IGNORE ME MTOERHFUCKER I WILL KILL U
>>711717514
I have a question, I am not from the usa, how did you manage to work next to school ? I mean don't you have school till afternoon ?
>>711719326
Did you guys make up your mind yet?
Hillary or The Don?
I live in Michigan, last time I checked our electoral votes were not given up yet either, but Don had the majority here and Clinton had the majority there.
I just don't know why they waited over 5 days to make up their minds when every other state had the results in within hours, besides Arizona, took them over a day.
>>711717976
Kek'd
Hey sorta unrelated post.
I'm always nice to waiters/public transport/help service people. I always say thanks. I'm getting a service from you and unless you competely fuck me over (which I've never had) you've done your part.
Anyone in those industries, just know there are people who really appreciate you.
THREAD REPORTED IT'S PURE CANCER
>>711718199
pro tip: greentext. nobody will read it if you write it like that, it hurts my eyes to read
>>711719911
Your dad was a nigger that your mom did in a back alley
>>711701814
How much dedidaded wam?
>>711704287
KEK
>Work for a sub-section of Feeding America
>Job is to stock and (if needed) work at food pantries.
>One Food pantry has a problem with greedy people.
>I got asked to work there for a day
>Greedy nigger comes in
>Seen her before, she goes to different pantries each day
>She also drives a Mercedes, blow me.
>Give her food
>She says "Where's my meat; you didn't give me any meat"
>"We don't serve meat here."
>"Ya, this other pantry (pantry name) gave me A rack of ribs, ground beef, a ham, and three fishes. I want that here"
>I reply, "Ma'am, I worked for that pantry yesterday and that's against policy to give somebody that much meat with a family your size."
>"Are you going to give me my meat or not, Cracker!, she says"
>My boss kicked her out before I could reply
>I got ahold of other pantries, and she's not allowed to any pantry within 50 miles.
>>711720755
don't cut yourself on all that edge m8
>>711696464
Is that supposed to be funny? Because it is.
>>711704164
NIGGER
>>711719253
>Unless you're allergic, scrap that shit out you lazy cunt.
It's principle. Don't fuck up my order.
The ONLY thing I ask for is no ice, in my fast food drinks. People still fuck it up routinely.
>>711719326
>>711720540
Looks like NH finally locked it in for Hilldog.
Meanwhile, in Michigan...
>>711720973
quit that...
a story i think some could relate to
>working around the store in uniform (apron with store name and nametag)
>been working for about 4 hours and got another 4 hours to go
>woman walks up
>'excuse me, do you work here?'
>looks at my apron before looking her dead in the eyes
>'no'
>walks away
>>711700174
Bitch needs to harden the fuck up
>>711720161
haha kpn net zo kanker, huisgenoot werkt er en hebben exact dezelfde shit als ziggo
zelfde voor alle telecom en energie bedrijven
ze neuken je allemaal de moeder
maar ik heb tenminste max TV + 500/50mbit voor 30,95 ipv 79,95
>>711717948
Until you pick up your date in a kia.
>be me, work in maintenance
>about 10:50 in the morning
>barely got any sleep and had to be up by at least 7:30 to make it into work
>about to go to the timeclock to clock in and walk down from the break room
the breakroom stairs lead to the public bathrooms
>smells literal shit, which isn't normal because people are disgusting
>looks at floor
>sees shit on the floor
>jesuschrist.jpg
>follow it
>goes across the floor from the bathrooms to self checkout (we have like 20 cash registers)
>no one sees the shit so they step over it or step in it and track it
>mfw
>>711704285
Did you get the mayo tho?
>>711717625
you suck.
>>711721110
>It's principle. Don't fuck up my order.
Agreed. I'm a bit picky, but I make it easy: cheeseburger with only pickles, for example. So it should just be bread, meat, cheese, and pickles. Always made me wonder how people get it wrong and add more shit, but if it's just something small like onions or something, I don't bother complaining.
>>711722563
One I asked for 2 cheeseburgers and they forgot the fucking patties. On both. I essentially got 2 cheese sandwiches. I don't complain about small stuff, but it's shit like this.
>>711708513
That's bullshit, to make you buy a new ID.
>>711720526
I'm not the anon you're replying to but a few of my friends worked at McDonald's during high school and they would usually work evenings and weekends, they don't have a set number of work hours per week.
>cart pusher at Wal-Mart
(best or worst job in the world depending on where you're at, the season, and who you have to work with)
>pulling long ass line of carts with machine
>nigger cunt drives her big white SUV into the crevice between my carts and the other parked carts
Security cameras either didn't catch a thing or she got a lump sum of money. Whatever happened, I don't think anyone really saw anything, and the scratch was 'kinda' noticeable. I kept my job, pushing carts by hand through inches of snow and ice. Failed that semester in college.
>>711722846
thank you for answering anyway ^^
>be me
>years ago working for Johnny rockets
>main 'cook", we party and drink constantly in the back "grabbing items"
>fat asshole is screaming at his server
>just in general, she hadn't fucked anything up yet
>go in back to get item...IE my beer
>she's crying
>called her a nip, or some other racial slur
>I have never even though about fucking with anyone's food before
>today that changes
>grab bag of buns, pull one out, slam dunk it onto the ground
>notgoodenough.jpg
>put bun between my own sweaty buns and gently cleanse the cook-sweat from my southern region
>prep giant amazing double bacon burger
>gently apply the violation-buns
>we all watch him feast upon my seasoned assburger
>she keeps her silence and is forever cool to me
That's the only time in my life I pulled that kind of shit, but it felt good man.
>>711705998
Dear God what did that poor laptop endure?
>>711708676
i'm 22, and you're a fucking cunt.
>>711719397
>buying discs for pc games in 2016
>>711723475
So you Eric Cartman'ed his burger? Nice.
>>711723988
> long long time ago in walmart
>>711724006
This was years before I saw that episode, and when I did I completely lost my shit.
>>711706423
Prescriptivism is obviously wrong when your only concern is for language itself, but language always occurs within a social context.
When using English for a given purpose a particular register will be more effective. The original prescriptivists who told people how to speak English were giving them tools to fit in with the upper classes of their society.
Society is even free to make moral judgments about certain ways of speaking. That's not within the realm of linguistics.
>>711714447
Nigger detected
>>711716012
same, mississippi as well
>be me
>first job working at a grocery store years ago
>Boss hates me
>makes me clean the shitters every shift
>get my gloves, bleach, and mop
>walk into mens bathroom look straight at the urinal
>tyrannosaurus shit plopped right in there
>don't get paid enough to do that
>clean everything else but the dinosaur sized shit
>clock out after, go home, enjoy vidya
>go in for my shift the day after, boss makes me clean bathrooms
>the serial wetbacker strikes again
cont?
>>711696954
I work in a grocery store, and even when I know somethings aren't in the back, I'm like I'll go check because people are morons. I just walk around in the back for a minute and go back and say we don't have it.
>start my first job working in customer service
>get along well with customers because I'm naturally friendly
>stay in the job for only about 3 months until I get a white collar job
>almost 20 years since I've had to work in customer service
>telecommute now and don't even have to interact with coworkers, let alone customers
feels good man
>>711718716
>>711725175
continue plz
>>711706423
explain pls anon, I beg you!
checked google for /n/ and /ng/, but I'm not versed in linguistics and such
>>711719346
been here for a year and a half
>>711720540
i vote trump but idk who won. the more rural parts are trump but the biggest city with all of our heroin addicts voted hillary
>>711719253
I know how you feel, people are fucking morons
>>711725175
Kill yourself.
Let's keep this thread going you guys!!
>>711714162
Horrifying to think this is only second hand smoke...
Almost at cap boys, start it anew
