Whats the worst thing you have ever done at any job and got away with?
>worked for comcast resetting shitty people's routers several times a day, passwords and all.
>>711691745
>Worked at Sears auto for a few months
>Customers were total fuck pricks
>often took money or random items I found in cars
>once took 20$ and never got caught
>>711691745
Petty theft.
Stole a case of whipped cream to get high off of, stole a skull from an office
>>711691876
Oh and once or twice I brought a bong to work because I was going to be sitting in a truck counting trucks all day
worked at supermarket type place, probably stole thousands of dollars worth of stock over 6 or so years
>>711691745
>I worked at a movie theater one summer
>We weren't supposed to drink any of the soda
>I took a cup of soda on break with me once
Call the cops idgaf
>>711691745
>took an extra long lunch break
>end of break, sitting in the bathroom trying to find a vein to shoot heroin into
>fire alarms go off
>fucking fire alarm is broken again
>keep looking for vein
>eventually find one and wander out of the bathroom
>hall is filled with smoke
>there's really a major fire
>building filled with panicky people and fire fighters
>my coworker is at the desk alone and we're it since it's after hours
>no one after found i was taking way too much time to shoot dope while the building burned
>handled it great afterwards and gots tons of praise
>toppestkek
Worked at a popular home inprovement store before the housing crash. Pallets of cement, block, mortar, all could be loaded onto your flatbed truck via forklift for a $200 tip by me. Thanks sucka
>>711692016
>>711691745
People like you should be shot
>>711691745
Usually came in drunk and drank on the job at a mental health facility. Never got caught but got fired for being a lazy ass and not entering notes.
One time when we were doing nothing (in the woods) I just kind of wandered off for a little hike. Got completely lost and had like 20 min to get back to the truck. Heard the sound of traffic so I ran towards it and realized I was two concessions from where I needed to be. Ran my ass off until I was just within visual range of the truck, stopped to a fast walking pace, red face, totally exhausted. Pretty sure I was going to get fired.
Boss just said get in the truck and all was well.
>>711691745
>finished work duties early
>just wandering around building when it hits me
>extremely horny and need to fap
>the kind of horny that is so out of control you just have to fap to the most extreme shit possible
>get into some random building resident's wifi
>install orbot and orweb on my phone
>get on tor
>etc etc etc you know what i did.
>>711691997
I think you need some therapy
>>711691745
>Domino's driver
>Keep a list of everyone who doesn't tip
>Spit in their food next time they order
>Been doing this for years
>>711692319
I haVE BEEN FUCKINBG your dD
>>711691745
When I was much younger, I worked at Stop & Shop and frequently took 20s from my register, and for some time stole CCC and Robotussin and shit from the pharmacy and ate/drank it on my break.
I managed to get away with this, only being confronted once or twice about the register coming up short, due to really shit management.
I cut tags off of pillows
>worked at subway
>put up the chairs on the tables so people pulling up thought we were closed
>finished closing duties and hour early and smoked a doobie with my 16 year old coworker on the clock(he had a kid at 15 and carried a gun with him. Cool ass kid tho)
>before I quit I ate a ton of shit throughout the day just because this fucks squeduled me 4hour shifts
>oh yeah weed is illegal here but no one gives
>>711691745
came on sexually aggressive to a female coworker. She blew me but I am not sure even today how consensual it actually was. Kept doing it to other coworkers. Went back to school and when I returned the following summer I was asked to come in for a "talk". declined and never went back.
>>711691745
Worked from home and got my employer to believe that 3 hours worth of work was 8.
>>711692435
MOOOOOODS!
>>711692585
By the way, I was making $13 an hour so I effectively stealing $65 a day.
>>711692435
You fucking sick psycho
>>711691745
>worked for your mom
>shitty males in her life made her feel like a failure
>gave her the D but she was always a bad lay
>got her to take shits on pictures of your face op so that was the silver lining.
>>711691745
violently stripped the socks from a patient's feet
>>711692732
I pissed on your dad
>>711692319
Maybe you should just get a better job, fat boy. No one has to give you shit.
>>711692798
>>711692732
i worked for mcdonalds and fucked both your sisters.
>>711692585
you are clearly the worst person in this thread. How do you sleep at night?
>>711692732
Kek
>>711691745
First sales job a retail store I'd go drink at lunch quite a bit.
Moved to car audio installs and would go through peoples shit quite a bit (some 16 year old had a bunch of dildos and beads and shit in her car.)
Computer job after that, I'd take home old laptops and IT stuff.
>work at Ceramic Salon, everything for bathrooms and toilets
>stay late after my shift
>have to poop but someone's already in toilet
>go to warehouse
>unpack toilet seat
>sit on it and drop my load
>pack it up with duct tape very good
>see there's a notification it's reserved for someone
>fuck, nevermind
>2 days later
>2 of my colleagues got fired cause both claimed they didn't do it but it was their shift
>supervising external building facade work
>this involves sitting in peoples empty apartments for hours on end, because the residents don't trust trust the filthy construction mexicans and demand we keep watch (manhattan millionaire building so they get what they want)
>wandering around this one womans apartment
>in bedroom, she's got a topless pic of herself from when she was preggers mounted on the wall
>lay down on her bed and fap
i could have stolen tens of thousands of dollars if i was just slightly more evil. i had the residential master keys and was left alone all day
>>711691843
big money hustla
>>711692827
>thinks tipping isn't mandatory
>>711692319
niceeee
>>711691745
Either,
>work front desk of sports bar, renting games and answering the phone, setting up tvs for sports
>games went on timers
>timers not connected to cash register
>tell customer their total for 2 hours, punch 1 hour on register
>make 100-500 dollar daily doing this
3 or 4 different employees made sure i knew how to do this on my first shift
Lesser evil
>took second job during xmas at canadian tire
>selling xmas lights and trees, other sections did way more work then us
>summer display window has been curtained off
>notice comfy couches and lawnchairs
>take a phone with me and start taking naps untl i get a call asking about stock
>>711692264
Well, did you cum?
somehow i was the only person to figure out a really obvious exploit that had been going on for who knows how long before i was hired by [retail giant]. there were these coupons that functioned as cash for the store. everyone assumed they were one-time use, like every other type of coupon. they weren't, i found out in a bout a boredom.
got away with hundreds of dollars in stuff. i set it up to look like an accidental discovery too. "hey mike, i think i just used this coupon twice?? that was weird", and i just left it there.
pretty soon all my coworkers are using em (almost all of them were chill, one of the few good things about that job). managers don't know shit about what's going on but they're freaking out, and no one says anything. we use customer numbers for rewards accounts so they don't know it's us.
the store's run like shit cause the GM is an idiot, we were always understaffed so the other managers were always too busy to actually manage, and our policies on how to handle basically everything are total shit. so this exploit goes on for months. eventually, they give in, and have the entire system, of an entire nationwide chain, updated just cause of this incredibly obvious exploit.
in total, it easily cost the store thousands, who know what the update cost, and it got the shit gm replaced.
of course, the higher ups wanted someone fired, not just replaced, and they knew an employee had to be involved. so they fired the most autistic of us. sorry Cheetostain McAsscrack, but you didn't have to go full retard and use it at other stores with your own mother's tax exempt card.
>>711693055
gloriously. in this wonderful telecom closet packet with infrastructure level fiber hardware.
>>711693008
>making such little money that you actually need others to give you money
>implying tipping shouldn't be a gesture of good will
>>711692914
I worked at Autozone and we gayfucked your dad, and we creampied your mom
>>711692585
Pretty sure every person ever who works from home does this.
>>711691745
>delivery boy
>ride a bicycle and carrying shit load of takeaway
>too lazy to go the other way to get to the building
>"fuck this shit I will just go between all these cars here"
>scratched all the car there on my way to the building
>fucking ching chong ninja so nobody knows I fucked up
>>711691745
crushed some guy's foot under a marble mold.
the guy was an asshole, but didn't deserve that. he was pissed at me, but happy because the company had to pay him disability. that company screwed me over so many ways, even though it sucked for that guy, my fuck up really cost them some money.
>>711692319
Related questions: If I tip on my card do you see that?
Everyone in this thread is pleb tier, G rated levels of "worst thing you have ever done at work" i expected more from /b/
>work for conservation authority in forestry
>$2 000 000 yearly budget
>don't need more than $500 000
>buy tractors and all kinds of shit because if you come up short on your budget they'll just decrease it
>drive hours to a site
>spend all day doing nothing
>drive back
Even got some OT in there.
Used to work at a K-mart walked out the front door with a PlayStation one and like 8 games
i'm american so i've never had a job.
our economy is shit and i don't feel like working at mcdonalds when i literally have a 4 year college degree
>>711692937
Top kek
>>711693140
They works for tips. It's as simple as that. If it were otherwise the service would be poor.
Shut up.
>Working at Walmart.
>Pulling a 1.5 ton pallet.
>Took a turn too fast and the pallet crashed 3 inches in front of a kid
>Manager finds out and helps to clean up
>Manager never finds out that I almost erased a child
>Fired with a rehire recommendation.
>sitting at front desk during quiet hours in middle of night
>have computer that controls the elevators
>decide to fuck with annoying coworker, who's 40 stories up
>radio him and find out exact floor
>every time he pushes the elevator button, i just cancel the call
>keep doing this over and over
>tell him it must be broken, but i can't leave to desk to go for reset so sorry
>keep cancelling the calls until he gives up and walks down all 40 stories
>"oh it never came? i'll call the elevator company"
>jackass
>>711693216
Curiosity bump
Worked at a controlled substance destruction facility where we counted and incinerated near expired drugs. Place had no cameras. Needless to say I had everything imaginable and turned out 5k a week selling them. GHB, Percocets, oxy, medical cocaine, etc. Maybe they should of paid above minimum wage.
>>711693512
dude that's like my dream job
>work on christmas market selling hot wine
>drunk all the time
>steal around 500€ in the 4 weeks of the market from the register
good times... being drunk all the time hitting on tipsy customers who loved it
I used to work in a subway in downtown New York. Decided to cum in the mayo sauce multiple times.
No one ever complained about the taste.
>>711693512
How does one acquire such a position?
>>711693619
From the local Labor Ready in the area of one
>Worked at huge furniture warehouse with best mate
>Huge ass warehouses, multiple locations
>Greasy ass Greek cunt for a boss
>Pretty certain I broke at least 1 item a day
>Would have mate drive me on LO Picker while I just punched shit
>Few times threw tallboys and bedsides of 5-6 meter high racking at offsite warehouses
>>711693617
How far downtown?
>>711693430
you fucking dingus. I've worked in warehouses before and if I pulled that shit the wouldn't be any recommendation for rehire. Motherfucker I saw a man lose his livelyhood for dropping a sinlgle box.
>>711693619
I got it though a temp agency. Name of the agency was Adecco
>>711693477
found the nigger
>>711693617
>Working at my job 6 years now.
>Boss trusts me so is never around.
>Union, so idiot policies.
>Realize i can get done in 2 hours what took some shmuck 12 hours to do.
>Spend 10 hours of every working day for the last 4 years in a hidden hole that luckily gets reception with /b/ and some other parts of the interweb.
>Been caught twice by my boss and he didnt care, he saw all my shit was done
>Security guard at Hyundai plant
>Working 12 hours on Sunday
>Literally no one there but me and the other guard
>She's pretty decent looking, for a black chick
>Walk from my guard booth to hers
>We bullshit for half an hour
>She goes to the bathroom, leaves door cracked
>She says "Come here for a minute"
>She's got her panties around her knees rubbing her pussy
>Proceed to bend her over the sink and fuck her raw
>Paranoid as fuck for weeks that she's pregnant
>>711693680
Don't remember the exact address. Near Central park and a clinic
>>711691745
Worked for the colonel, stole the original recipe spice packets and made that shit at home.
Work at a nonprofit now and "steal time" regularly.
>>711693008
not that guy, but it legally isn't. Your employer is required to pay you minimum wage of you don't make it via tips. most non- retarded people can make over minimum wage with tips, so take that into account. personally i always tip and be polite to me servets and drivers, but your argument is potato
>>711693876
You fucked up.
>>711693512
I love you. You're exactly the reason why my well off Uncle and his vet wife are living in fucking la la land thinking Ethical disposal of medication is a matter of common sense.
Supply and demand control the migration of goods and services - not the whims of the advantaged who've had good fortune in their lives.
>>711693796
coworker shouldn't have been such a jackass.
racism is alive in well even in buildings full of rich new yorkers, half the staff was black but not a single was was allowed to be alone and in charge with full authority over everything in a huge highrise, including access to everyone's apartment. not a nigger job.
>>711691745
>Worked part time at lumber yard while I was in school
>2x2 pieces of wood are frail as post ww2 germany
>Sometimes would gently snap the wood on weak points without customers knowing
>Bundle dozens of broken wood in with couple of good ones
>Same lumber yard
>Unscrew air caps on tires
>Place small pebble inside air cap so they don't close completely
>The air slowly leaks out over time
>Know that some guy is gonna get 3 flat tires down the road in 20 minutes
>>711693680
>>711693935
actually, I think Rockfeller university was just around the corner.
>>711693267
i also broke an old dead woman's finger during an embalming procedure.
>worked at a pizza joint
>Rent to own place with copier next door
>Unspoken agreement, free breadsticks for copies
>One day, the charge for copies, despite getting breadsticks
>Declare unspoken war
>Piss in and on their dumpster
>Ram our adjoining week with a broomstick when our restaurant was empty
>Piss on their back door handle
>Piss in pipes coming out of their room
>Shit on their roof
>>711694009
Nah, she turned up not pregnant and I turned up HIV- so I got away with that one.
Not me but I had a bro that
>Worked at a bar/cafe
>Too many managers working there
>They would always go on unnecessary witch hunts and firing sprees to feel useful
>Bro is a programmer
>finds a bug in the POS
>certain amounts of certain items cause the wrong menus to appear
>going back and forth several times will cause a stack overflow
>Will send order to the back and could be canceled after receipt was printed.
>No record of transaction but looks legit
>shows 2 of his friends how to do it
>Goes on for 6 months
>The sales show something is wrong, witch hunt ensues
>they just auto fire people they were going to fire anyway
>never find out its him
Dude was a legend.
>>711692956
Thats hot. You didnt take a pic did you?
>>711694011
Your welcome anon. I serviced many who did not have insurance. Even shot a syringe of diazepam in some hot chicks ass. Feels good mang
>>711693423
wahh wahh they work for a job that pays 2 an hour while niggers and throwing boxes around at ups for 10 an hour. servers are retarded. they think theyre slaves but they just dont know how to do anything else and too lazy and uptight to learn, fucking manbabies.
>>711693876
whoa
>work as security guard at PG&E in oakland
>me and the other guy never do rounds
>nothing to steal
>do homework
>don't know what he does
>finish my homework
>decide to do my job for a change
>walk around the side of the building
>he's getting a blowjob from a hooker
>he nonchalantly asks me if i want one
>no, thanks
>turns out every night he lets hookers turn tricks in a corner of the yard for blowjobs
>he waits for them to get a trick
>unlocks the gate
>locks them in
>waits 10 minutes
>lets them out
>been doing this for years
>>711692319
this is why I don't have my pizza delivered. I just do carry out.
>>711694287
No.. damn i should have tho i guess. i mean she was like 7/10 tops but still
>>711691745
Drank a 5th of whiskey before work, boss said i did a fantastic job. No one suspected me of being drunk.
I work at a machine shop and I steal shit on a daily basis. I've got a 55 gallon drum filled with just chains and shackles that I've slipped off with
Received a blowjob from a resident of the nursing home I work at. She is 82 but has dementia and thinks shes 25. I put a load in her mouth!
>>711694382
I always tip $6+
>>711694363
Yeah, being a security guard is boring as fuck. I don't think a week went by that I didn't jack off in the bathroom
>>711694561
Teeth?
>>711694573
Where did you cum
>>711694603
Nope not a one.
>>711691997
dude that's worse than murder
>>711691745
Worked for 3 years as an orderly in the female wing of an institution for mentally challenged youth (ages 11-18yo).
Got laid, or got my dick sucked, by the residents 3 or 4 times per week the entire time I worked there.
I really miss that job.
>>711694633
When I fucked the black chick, I busted in her. When I whacked off I generally had a piece of TP ready then just flushed it
>>711693502
yes we see it on the receipt and et paid out at the end of the night.
>>711694723
How did you quit/fired
>>711692086
That's called being a lumper in the trucker business. It's pretty common.
>>711694564
>thanks for driving half a mile to bring me a pizza
>here's an extra 1/3 the cost of what you brought me
Nah, fuck that shit.
>>711692319
You are a psycho. You should quit.
>this really hot woman is always super nice to me
>she wants to move from one apartment to another, on a sunday night
>this is a *huge* deal to snotty rich people.
>would be fired on the spot if management found out
>but hey she's hot, nice, and rich as shit
>explain the situation
>hire guys directly to do the actual move
>pay off everyone on the staff (4 people) just to keep their mouths shut about it
>turns into huge conspiracy with lookouts, blocking elevator service, deleting records of when she was supposed to do it from the computer, breaking into the supervisors office to delete security cam footage
>worked out tho, no one caught us carrying furniture and shit through the building at midnight
>helped hot nice rich girl and made $500 for an hours work, well plus another 30min for the record wiping
>>711694561
I would cut your head off if I found out you were sticking your dick in my grandmother's mouth.
>82
great-grandmother. whatever.
>>711691745
Piss-ass drunk while working at the top of an elevator
>>711693285
hahahahaha
get me a job pls
[email protected]
>>711694834
This.
Tipping is retarded as shit. I worked a string of shit jobs in my teens and early 20s and I never got nor expected extra just for doing my job
>>711692319
technically you've kissed all those people then
whore
>>711694764
So you know, when you are headed out to make the delivery that the person tipped, so you don't jizz on it or anything?
>>711694723
>mentally challenged youth = underaged felons
>>711692435
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
>>711694723
i call bullshit. more details needed
>>711691745
Went to pick up our Xmas Lunch and ate all the potato salad on the way back to the office.
I told everyone they shorted us tne tater salad.
I crash a tram into a repairdepo the demage cost around 157357 Euro and got away with it
>>711694916
Im sure your grandmother has had plenty of dicks in her mouth.
>>711694916
be prepared to hate every retirement home in existence.
Grandma's asking for dick or being raped by staff is a common issue with retirement homes.
>>711692585
I would bet most people that goto work do about the same productivity daily. 3 hours worth of actual work for 8 hours paid time. lol
>>711694756
Should've had her swallow. And fucked her often
>>711694834
ya'll are actually fucking stupid. You keep thinking its about morals or some shit like that.
Drivers make $2.15 an hour for bringing you your pizza. If you don't tip them, they don't get paid.
So, go ahead, don't tip, but they will remember you. And honestly? spitting is not the worst thing I've heard of them doing.
>>711694573
after i found out what the other guy did, it was kind of fun talking to the hookers. most of them were really full of shit. one girl i remember really well, though.
>chubby blond about 16
>said she was 18, but no way
>ran away from home in sacramento to be with some guy she met online
>that didn't end well and she ended up homeless
>had to turn tricks to survive
>hated blowjobs
>sometimes would charge blowjob price for a straight fuck when a guy's dick looked really bad
>got hooked on meth
>didn't show up at for a few weeks
>was in jail for something
>raped in jail by a guard
>beaten by pimp after she got out
>beaten by her dealer after she got out
>just stopped showing up after that
>hoped she got out of the life, but probably is dead
>>711691745
This has nothing to do with any job I had, but I do have something from elementary school I remember.
>be me in 5th grade
>distinguish grey eraser from pink eraser (pink = for pencil, grey = pen)
>during elementary exams, kid ask me for eraser.
>give him grey sandpaper feeling one.
>kids erases and tears test
>tell him that I did that on purpose
>tell him that he's going to repeat 5th grade because test is unreplaceable
>kids cries and does absolutely nothing for the next 3 hours
I recall seeing him and his mom after school. I overheard the teacher tell the kid to come back the next day (Saturday morning) to retake an exam. My day wasn't all that bad after. I went to Chuck E. Cheese and enjoyed myself.
>>711695171
Nah the job was cushy as shit, didn't want to get caught and get fired
>>711693008
Fucking americans.
>Tip: to give someone who has provided you with a service an extra amount of money to thank them.
>>711693349
Another entitled millennial showing how fucking worthless they are.
>>711694382
this is what you're supposed to do if you don't like tipping.
Don't wanna tip? Don't get delivery. Tipping is how you pay for the service.
>>711693216
bamp
>>711693876
>security guard
>not having protection
wtf kind of guard are you?
>>711694812
Didn't quit or get fired.
Got a promotion within the company to a new (adult) facility for almost twice the money.
They said I was "really good" at my job...., lol.
Good thing because, about 7 months after I left, one of the girls had a baby...., probably mine.
Really dodged a bullet because she was only 13yo..
> delivered Pizza once
> ghetto teen was the weekly run
> thuggish impolite manner always
> never tipped never said thank you
> feed him my boogers & snot rockets
> farted on a pie once
>>711695255
If no one is there, how would you get caught
>>711691745
>Shitty Swedish dairy industry work
>Work evenings/nights, Get high everyday
>Live 5minutes from work, go home smoke weed on breaks and come back again.
>Bring bong to work and smoke on the roof
>High as fuck driving forklifts and shit.
>Coworker sometimes offers to drive instead of me if im feeling "too tired"
>Decline, Lucky noone got hurt
>Being swedish nobody says anything everyone just mind their own business.
>>711695097
What..., do you think I'm going to give you my name, address & phone number??
Right.
>>711691745
Was helping to install the electrical system of a yacht and Burned-out a fusible and a few expensive leds
>>711695225
their bosses are legally required to bring the pay up to at least minimum wage if tips don't cover it
why do pizza drivers deserve more than minimum wage for doing a job that literally anyone can do?
>>711695251
You are one fucked up person
>>711694166
hahahahha this is some petty shit.
>>711695418
Koreans are liable to show up at any time and if no one is there to let them in they get pissed. I got away with that one so I didn't push my luck.
Of course, I eventually got fired for shaking a vending machine that ate my dollar, lol.
>>711695364
No. They get paid by their employer to deliver. Tipping is a gratuity, which means the buyer is not onligated to give said tips.
You know who is obligated to pay them minimum wage though? Their employer.
Fuck off worthless order carrying monkey.
>>711694903
Next payday 2 heist right here
>>711695412
>Get paid to deliver food.
>demand tip since gas money shouldn't come out of your check
>no tip = I defile the stuff you pay for
And this is why there are some who don't tip people due to race/religion/gender
I paid for food. Not for the person delivering the food to me.
>>711692827
How spitty pizza taste?
I wouldn't know, because I tip.
i guess the absolute worst thing really, after >>711694903 >>711693477 >>711692956 >>711692264 and >>711692016, was just shooting up every several times a day every day. with the shit i was responsible for, including some safety-critical things like prying open stuck elevators to rescue people, and coordinating emergency responses... if they ever knew all 3 of my daily bathroom breaks were just to go shoot more heroin, good god the shitstorm
I'm an xray tech and we're supposed to put a lead shield in front of people's reproductive organs so we don't lower their chances of reproduction, but I have been choosing who is worthy of reproducing or not for the past year. For example, niggers and degenerate men and women get max radiation to their ovaries/testicles so their chances of passing on their degenerate genes is lower. I feel like I'm making the world a better place though.
>>711695537
Obligated*
How the fuck did autocorrect get that?
>>711695225
In what shithole of a third world country are you living in?
Every first world country has a minimum wage of ~8$
Tips are there to reward better than average service and not pay the driver for a average service and like you write, by a very angry and not nice deliverer.
>>711691745
Found feces, lite big clumps of it in the mixed meat, left it in there to be shipped to customers.
Did not answer to an email
>>711695654
Forgot to add that I dont shield the niggers and degenerates.
>>711695654
I love you.
Please tell me you have a C-Arm that you can center on their testicles
>>711693167
Are you in China?
>>711695654
Doing God's work anon. Bless you.
>>711693870
>>711695654
You're my hero
>>711694947
It got to the point that if I didn't get my after lunch nap I'd get cranky.
>>711695641
i spit in every pizza i make, regardless of whether they tip
don't give a fuck
>used to smoke pot in the backroom of retail
>used to get drunk as fuck
>used to steal shit and resell it
>had sex at work with some skanky trailer trash in an empty gaylord box
>slept at work
>sit around watching worldstar with my co-workers on the clock instead of working
>used to break shit that came back defective for fun before sending it out
>>711693349
be me, live in the us.
have no degree, pulling in 145k this year, 132k last year, ~190k next year, and another 3 or so years until i hit 200k.
>worked at a supermarket stocking shelves midnight to 8 AM
>each guy gets 2 aisles to do in 8 hours
>the guys who've been doing it a while can finish in 5 or 6 hours
>they go "shopping" or sleep after that
>fill black plastic garbage bags with whatever they want
>put it out by the dumpster
>wife/girlfriend comes and gets it before the manager shows up in the morning
>never had the courage to do it myself
>>711695497
staplerfahrer klaus
>>711693125
Staples?
>>711695535
Yeah, I was a bored teen-ager
Started a job in 2001 went on lunch brake and Iv not returned yet.
>>711695857
what do you do?
i followed one of those work from home internet things and now i make 500k/month as a professional liar
>>711692016
>no one after found i was taking way too much time to shoot dope while the building burned
so they knew you where shooting dope but they only cared if you took to longe time?
College grad, horrible job market.
Got hired by large, nationwide drugstore chain as assistant manager. Worked worst shifts, supervised employees, etc.
Manager was off, so I had inventory duties, using a scan gun. Walked entire store, scanning, entering remaining supply, etc.
Got to the end, exhausted. I hit "enter" twice. Somehow didn't catch it, but two days later, we got the largest shipment we've ever seen: didn't have enough room to store it all. Paid employee out of pocket to help me hide it all. Feared losing job. Spent the next two weeks working my tail off, upselling everything to everybody, handing out the sales flyers, reminding people of 2-for-1 deals, basically filling their cart for them. Broke all sorts of sales records. Sold everything. Manager returns, is staggered by the sales totals. Figures something is up, can't figure it out. I get a new job, two weeks, gone.
Heard corporate investigated it, never figured it out.
>>711693008
well it isnt manditory fucking amerifats
>>711695260
The fat degenerates play football with their hands so are you actually surprised?
>>711694834
I still tip, but this bugs me about bartenders
So, you took my order, got it, got me a pop, and maybe a refill. Bascially the same shit they do at mcdonalds but I need to give you 20%... (For what, 3 minutes of "work"?)
>>711695641
Tipping should not be "defilement insurance"
If no tips = defilement, then delivery should not exist since I have to pay for you to NOT TAMPER IN MY TRANSACTIONS OF GOODS AND SERVICES
TIP YOUR MAILMAN, TIP YOUR BUS DRIVER. TIP YOUR AMAZON/EBAY/ONLINE STORE PLATFORM.
>>711695944
eh, it probably would have just come tumbling down if you did come back.
>>711695628
was never about the tips... I understand thats beyond some people's capabilities. it was about his rude manner using, profanity for no reason other then to be a thuggish asshole.
you bring food to people and then get threatened to get shot because it might not be timily.
>>711695722
Unfortunately no, I work at some shitty urgent care/pill mill but that just means I pretty much have no regulations and can do whatever I want with the equipment and no one has any idea, so I can easily ramp up the dose and fire it at some hood niggers balls, sterilizing him.
>>711691745
>worked at greenhouse
>pissed in greenhouse
>stole sick helment from greenhouse
>feelsgoodman
>>711695537
>No. They get paid by their employer to deliver.
Servers and drivers make $2.15/hr on average.
>You know who is obligated to pay them minimum wage though? Their employer
Again, 2.15 an hour. Not minimum wage.
Now, if they don't end up making at least minimum wage, then their employer must compensate them up to minimum wage.
This is supposed to only happen for servers/drivers who are shit at their jobs. For people who are good, they can get paid way more.
I know servers who make $12/hr on the tip system, because they are very good at their jobs.
Its merit-based pay, you autist, and if you never pay then you are breaking the system, and shafting the employees. And you will get shitty service, because they remember.
over time I have stole thousands of dollars worth of clothing from my clothing store that I work at, and sell it online.
>>711695698
I'm going to be a vegetarian. I've never heard of anyone shitting in salad
>>711695960
they had no idea i was shooting up; it's just that it's an emergency. if my boss found out i was ignoring the fire alarm while taking an extra long break.. fired. taking an extra 30min for lunch is allowed, on the condition that if there's something important, you get your ass back upstairs, not spend 20 more minutes in the bathroom
>>711695857
Right? HS diploma, was making 65k a year until I went back and took about 6 classes at a junior college, averaging about 115k now with no degree. Had to do a couple years at McDonald's tier jobs to get there, but that's what the whiny, entitled fucks don't get: you have to put in your garbage time to get a real job.
>>711691997
now that's what i call edgy !
>>711693349
You're an ass. I live in the same country as you and got a job before I even got my degree related to my education. People who blame the economy can go eat dicks.
>>711695364
No, the $2 fee i pay is for the service, I might give you $2 if you do a good job (early) I will call your manager if you are late. (Since I paid and got shit service)
>>711696048
granted those are assholes and you should spread your shit under the cheese
I'm arguing over the person who tampers in the transactions of goods and services because they as the middle person don't get their personally set reparation from both sides.
That person needs to go fuck themselves.
>>711696071
Please stop posting your shitty information or give us some source on that
Else, fuck off
http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Pizza_Delivery_Driver/Hourly_Rate
[shake head]americans[/shake head]
>tipping
>don't want to pay decent wage
>so you try to hide the fact with a humiliating custom
>taxes
>don't want to pay taxes
>so you get screwed with fees, traffic cams, speed traps, fines out the wazoo, penalties, etc.
>>711691745
took time off to vote for trump. maximum keks had.
>>711692319
You nigger. Have fun being a complete loser.
>>711692937
I think we have a winner here lads
>>711695663
America, South Carolina to be exact
They get around the 7.25 minimum wage law by compensation. If a driver doesn't make enough they get compensated up to minimum wage, but this is only supposed to happen if you're shit-tier. Good servers, drivers, bartenders will make more than minimum wage.
>this assumes you actually work at a place which has business.
One thing you will notice, is that in America service is far better than in other countries (especially Europe)
Here, we make the servers jump for every dollar they get, versus just a nice salary pay.
I understand why people don't like the tip system. It is pretty fucked up, but you can't deny that you're shafting the employees if you don't tip them.
>Working at McDonald's in KY
>17 year old girl got dumped by her bf
>She was crying, me trying to cheer her up
>Followed me take trash out
>Got tired of her whining
>Kiss her, pull down her pants
>Literally fucked her against the dumpster
>Shot my load in her
>She actually thanked me
>Said it was better than with ex
>Regular fuck buddies for a month or two
>Pregnancy scare and I backed off
>Hear she's a real slut now
>>711695225
Implying i don't drive to the pizza place myself until drones are used to replace shitheads with no talent.
>>711695112
see even as faux niggers the facial structures are so much more refined than the chimp in the corner
>>711695957
>i followed one of those work from home internet things and now i make 500k/month as a professional liar
Elaborate
>>711693140
Tipping allows you to pay a person based off of thier performance.... Where it gets lost is when people are afraid NOT to tip when they received bad service.... Nowadays servants know they'll get a little tip.(unless serving niggers, they NEVER tip)
>>711696301
Sometimes you just don't get that extra thank you, man up and move on, hope for the best on the next run... blatant rudeness should be severely punished.
>>711692241
What kind of job did you have?
>>711695654
Gods work anon
Used to work on some construction cleanup shit with a labor agency, got there a bit late and asked what there was to do. Supervisor just kinda looked at me and said "I dunno, go ask around" So I did, for a good hour and a half or so, checking every unit and looking around for shit to do and there didn't seem to be anything in sight. So it was at this point I came across a completely empty unit, went to the top floor, sat against some stacks of drywall, had a fap, fell asleep the rest of the day. Got paid for all of it.
When I was in high school and college I worked in several body shops. When left alone I'd pop a door panel off and toss a soda can inside the door so it would rattle around and make noise. They would then come back for additional repairs.
>>711693349
>umma murkin
>>711695251
If you were my kid I would beat you until you pissed blood.
>>711691997
fuck man, thats too much
>>711696342
Your leader, is Trumpet is a flip[ flop.Amending obamacare-LOL
>>711696327
And I think, a minimum of 6 bucks for a job, where you literally need to know nothing, is a lot. Even a cleaner needs to be able to remember and do more and still earns about the same
>>711696445
I made a few posts. I was working for a conservation authority.
Mostly trail building and maintenance.
>>711691745
I ruined to backplane connector on a brand new 6509 Cisco switch. It was a loaner to my company so that I could test a new blade functions. I told them that it arrived like that. Ruined the blade that I pushed in crooked too. Very expensive switch and very expensive linecard.
>>711695020
im not that guy but i dont fuck with customers who tip and arent assholes.
>>711696327
>source, my best friend manages a Papa Johns
>my other friend worked for a while at a dominos
both have done delivery at one point in their life.
Here, lets get really specific. Delivery drivers make 7.25 when they are in-house, and 2.15 when they're on the road. You actually have to clock when you leave and return from driving. This encourages drivers to deliver as fast as possible.
So, does payscale have that information? Because its a pretty complicated pay system.
>>711693349
Go work in a factory and do some physical labor you fucking pussy. Don't tell me those jobs don't exist.....I live in Detroit and we cannot get enough of general labor workers.
>>711696071
>Again, 2.15 an hour. Not minimum wage.
Now, if they don't end up making at least minimum wage, then their employer must compensate them up to minimum wage.
You just refuted your own argument. So if some idiots pays you $20 to deliver a pizza, they even it out I guess.
>>711691745
Mostly just pretend to work or leave early, when i worked for coca cola id stay at the store for 30 min tops doing as much as i can then leave did my whole route in a couple hours while getting paid for 9
>>711693267
agreed. where are all the priests?
>>711693349
do us a favour and kys you fucking mong.
>>711691745
> domino's pizza driver
>lived in a small rich white town
>bunch of rich japs and white people
>often got to deliver to rude shitty people
>when paid with a card, they need to sign a receipt with name, and total price with or without tip
>so for the most part they wouldn't put a 0.00 or a line threw where you tip, they just signed
>so what i did is i would tip myself between 5 to 10 dollars everytime.
In all honesty, i was able to save 5k just by working at domino's for about a year.
Put in my 2 weeks and left with good terms.
>>711691745
I unload semi-trucks for a box store. Literally everything gets thrown, and everyone does it. Always check your shit before you buy it. I kinda feel like a dickhead for doing it, but the amount of volume you have to move makes it impossible to go slow and delicately. Pretty much what the guy is doing in the picture, except my shit doesn't fall of the belt.
>>711691745
used to work in a grocery store, i was a speed/meth addict the whole time I worked there. Was almost always high at work, even injected in the bathroom
hey guys
worked at a big factory
don't eat digorno pizzas
;)
>>711692449
hahahaha. please elaborate
>>711695652
Nobody noticed your pinned eyes??
>>711696507
Driving is actually a really dangerous job.
Also, although it does pay a ...bit... the damage you do to your car means you will eventually lose your paycheck to car repairs.
>>711696412
this is the right thing to do. I'm too goddamn cheap to pay $5 extra, (plus the delivery charge) so I just go pick it up myself.
Delivery is best for the rich fucks who are more lazy than they are smart with their money
>or, apparently the autists of /b/ who like getting food poisoning
>>711695229
For jobs where tips are made it's less than half of minimum wage. Servers in the restaurant I work in make 4.75 an hour. Not tipping means they work for less than minimum wage for you to be an asshole to them.
if we want to expand to pseudojobs, like jobs you do for a couple bucks a day in jail... holy shit do i have some stories
>working in kitchen every day
>we're allowed to walk there from the pod alone
>it's jail, so there's female inmates that work other jobs
>laundry is right across the hall from the kitchen
>girls poke their head out to say hi, and who's there? my recently arrested fiancee
>walk straight across the hall and make out with her in front of everyone
>later in the shift, while their supervisor was out and they were alone, sneak in
>fuck in bathroom
>im a fucking legend after that, people tell stories and high five me for the next 8 months
>if i got caught it would have been 90 days in lockdown and maybe even new charges
>but they had 2 people to watch around 1000 cameras in control
>so they never noticed me using the door across the hall from the door i was supposed to go in
>>711694834
>I'm too fat and lazy to go a few blocks for pizza
>I'm too poor to tip
Enjoy your cum and piss food fat ass
>>711694181
A white male gave a black female HIV?
> The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
> Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>711692319
Funny story about tipping...
>dad orders pizza
>is too lazy to go meet delivery driver (bumfuck nowhere after a dirt road, half to walk a little to meet delivery people)
>sends me out with money
>meet delivery driver at end of road, pay him, get pizza
>give 8 dollar tip
>get back, dad is furious
>says that's far too much to tip
>also notes how there is a 2 liter bottle of soda missing from order
>goes off on rant about how the delivery guy is now sitting pretty with his 8 dollars and stolen bottle of soda
>a few more minutes pass
>delivery guy drives down dirt road and shows up at door with the forgotten soda bottle
>i grin smugly as my dad shuts up
>>711691745
>Work at DHL
>Ride around on these LLOP trucks
>Things are pretty nippy
>Roof leaks
>Hit wet patch
>Slide into dude wrapping a pallet
Showed up to work drunk on a sunday morning
I worked as a swimming instructor for children, played it smoothly, never got caught
>>711693870
>10 hours a day on /b
>>711692319
Good for you man, fuck those jews
>>711696796
Nope, nobody is looking for that shit besides other users.
I never shot so much I was nodding off while on the job though, except in the early am hours while alone overnight
>>711691745
Double bonus, shitty stuff a place I worked at did
>Rapid defrosting prawns and fish in the dishwasher sink
>Using the dripping from the smoker as a glaze
>Keeping ribs, brisket and skewers hot held for 8+ hours
Stuff I did to them.
>Helped myself to red bull
>Took a pack of 12oz steak home every now and then
>Helped myself to spices and rub
>Made myself breakfast every day I opened
Best part was I was the best chef on my section, no one could deny that. The management had no idea about stock levels and actually thought they just used that much red bull, they eventually started to count and keep track of it and one of the waiters got fired for taking a whole crate of red bull and some cans home. They just assumed it was him that kept taking everything
>>711696577
So you are telling us, Papa Johns is breaking federal US law? That's great, I hated that chain. If you could contact your friend for me, that would be great. I would even give him the money for the court.
Or are they in reality just breaking the law and are only compensating the tipped money to get above minimum wage?
>>711693876
post pic of her
>>711696741
When i worked delivery in a shitty small restaurant they had workers do that and use coupons after the fact on orders to get a few bucks, the management got smart and called each person after their order was complete to confirm what they tipped and if they used coupons, how would dominos let that fly?
>>711693593
had a similar experience. father of a friend told us we can get 10 bucks / hour each for selling hot spiced red wine on the christmas market. we gave free wine to the hot girls whose number we wanted to get. later every evening there were a huge amount of girls drunken giggling girls who took all the attention. so everybody bought our damn cheap wine.
mfw after christmas the dad of my friend told us we made 400% more money than him (he was the one who did it on his own every year, not this time) and gave us a 300 euro bonus, kek
>>711696855
>look guys i can deliver
>my mom says i drive good
>PAY ME FOR WHAT A REGULAR FUNCTIONING HUMAN CAN DO
kys
>>711696952
* in reality not
>>711692319
kek get a better job if you need money fag boi
>>711696642
Servers/drivers learn to identify the ones who will pay them more.
They remember names, addresses, and also stereotype religiously.
So yes, niggers get shit service by default because niggers never tip. Foreigners also tend to get shit service, depending on who is serving them.
Its funny seeing how it all pans out, because the servants are just looking to make as much money as possible. Its hard to call it racism when they're not even making it about race.
fucked my wife in the missionary position. she got pregnant. we wanted that to happen
>>711691745
15 or so working at a gas station. Huge bitch of an owner, treated us like shit. She was a whore, I should have tried to fuck her. She deducted income tax off our paychecks but never remitted that to the gov't.
At any rate, she made the evening staff prepare her coffee for the morning when she opened. I used to make her coffee using the water from the toilet bowel.
>>711696844
your so cool.
>>711696939
well, except for this one time..
>get sample bag of new batch
>only shoot one bag
>but holy shit, i nearly OD
>it's the middle of the day though, so i cant just stay in the bathroom as im on the front desk
>stumble out, ghost white, barely able to stand or talk
>just sit at desk with coworker staring at me
>say im sick and just ride it out
>felt better after an hour
>>711696869
So he just paid $8 (plus original cost) for a 2 liter?
>>711696868
No you idjit I was saying that I didn't end up getting the HIV
>>711696000
>>711693349
My attitude is that, if I'm unemployed I'm living off of someone else, and therefore nothing is beneath me. I worked at McDonald's when I was 14.
The difference in our attitudes is why I could be your boss right now - except I don't hire people like you.
>>711691745
threw a box cutter at my supervisor and yelled "You don't have the balls to fire me"
>>711693349
youre just a dumbass, i live in america and employment is easy to find if youre not an aspie
i bet your parents wasted 100's of thousands of dollars on your probably outdated and worthless degree
>>711697179
did he fire you?
>>711691745
>2013
>worked at a cemetery
>was supposed to bury a coffin
>cba
>cremated the chest + body
>never burried it
>>711697043
I have heard that, friend worked at BW3s and called it No Tip Tuesday or something, (cheaper wings on tuesday, tons of black customers, so no tips) people would hate working the shift but most had to since it was obviously popular.
>>711696952
>>711696952
I stated that in above posts. They do compensate tipped money *TO* minimum wage.
However, as I also said, this should not be what happens. Minimum wage for driving is shit, because driving destroys your car, and is actually quite dangerous.
>>711697015
driving for a living is very dangerous. Its only a matter of time before someone hits you. Also, as a driver you don't make enough to compensate for the miles you are putting on your vehicle.
>>711697227
he went to his boss(factory foreman) and was told he was being a bitch
>>711694903
>$500
you sold yourself too cheap anon
you could have really milked that
>>711691745
>Whats the worst thing you have ever done at any job and got away with?
Came as close to starting a fire as one could without seeing actual flames. It was an accident, caused by my carelessness. I couldn't believe it when the guy who hired me continued to use me. I've also masturbated to completion at every single place I've been employed at. I've been fired from some of those places over the years for various reasons, but I've never been caught masturbating, so I don't know if that counts as "getting away with it"
Be working at food store
>shitty pay
>for shitty work
>Use to open drinks Nd drink them while working (shitty security)
>use to open Doritos, crispers, and Pringles would put them back in the shelf.
>tfw people bought the chips I have eaten with my dirty shitty hands from working
Jej
>>711697074
yeah i know right.
it was really cool, shit like whenever someone new came in, they'd always get the 'you know who that guy is?' speech from someone else... i had first picks for jobs, roommates, strong influence over what we watched on TV (we watched jeopardy every night just because i said so).. fun times
fiancee broke it off and got back with ex tho, a fucking week before i got out
sentenced to a full year, but 1 week was what ruined my life. if i had got out first... we would have been moving out of state together.
>>711693216
Not the same guy but I work as a server, yes we can see if you tip on a card.
>>711691745
I cum in the coffee of my boss (she was a sexy whore) she didn't realise anythin or maybe she liked it.. !
>>711691745
>work with tards
>tards love candy
>have own personal tard army for price of a bag of Smarties.
>>711697389
Nah we charged her enough, the $500 was just me, there were 2 other movers and the 4 other employees we had to pay off with $200 each. so she already was paying $1700 for what took us an hour
>>711693737
really? so you are from Norway?
>>711692435
I will be reporting this to the FBI
>>711697082
Are you still using??
>>711693349
You're shit. You can't find a job because of your, "I don't feel like it", victim attitude.
>>711692319
this pencil dick is too stupid to figure out that people don't give big tips to drivers that are assholes-
> almost always give a 5 even if my order is only 15$
>>711697700
yup, and will til the day i die. it's a long story but the bottom line is opiates are the only thing that lets me live a normal life.
>>711697339
>However, as I also said, this should not be what happens. Minimum wage for driving is shit, because driving destroys your car, and is actually quite dangerous.
Well great, isn't it? You need your job to pay your car and your car to do your job. I don't get it, why you as a deliverer expect special treatment. During the early year of college, I was forced to drive 90 miles a day to do a shitty min wage job. And then to all clients again approx 100 miles per day. Should I have asked my boss for a tip?
This argument is retarded, many worker use their car for work and don't get compensated for it.
>>711692937
LOL fuck that I would have told the company to DNA test that shit
>>711692319
it's called a self fulfilling prophecy.
you actually created the poor tipping situation by being an ass
If you weren't a shitty person most people would tip you decent and the law of averages would make up for the people that stiffed you.
Or stop delivering to ghetto
I pee on a co worker, that pussy told HR about this. HR didnt belive his story so he quit his jobb. i win...
>>711692438
>squeduled
>>711691745
>working at walmart
>cart pushing
>job fucking sucks
>laughing stock of Walmart
>take numerous fuck it days
>consist of hour long 15 minute breaks
>one day carts are needed while I'm on fuck it day
>they come out and find me in my car
>make me get back to work of course
>continued taking fuck it days
>probably took at least 300 paid hours while I worked there
Not really sure if it counts as getting away with it but I didn't get fired.
>>711694360
All this may or may not be true, nevertheless, it doesn't matter to the people fucking with your food, so be a big boy and tip, or enjoy your meat lovers with hepatitis
>>711697966
People like you are what's wrong with America.
#MakeAmericaGreatAgain
>>711696775
that was pretty much it. gained a few fuck buddies because it. But I hit on anyone who i thought may be willing. Hence my downfall.
>>711694112
I mean it's not like she is going to care...
>>711697082
oh and a lot of the time, i had my dealer bring me stuff at work
getting him through building security was no big deal, since i had control over that, but a couple times, the area was on lockdown (the building is directly across from a major terror target in manhattan, and from time to time they shut down the streets and you need ID to get past NYPD). i literally had to talk on the phone with NYPD to authorize my dope dealer to come into the area. happened twice.
>>711693737
are you from Ontario? I worked for Adecco in Burlington
>>711692319
I always carryout at domino's because the drivers are lazy self entitled assholes.
Proof positive right here.
I also never use the same domino's twice with the same name.
Cuz all domino's workers are lazy pieces of shit. Once saw them playing hockey on dirty floor with pizza checker poking tool. The part they check the pizza with was the part touching the floor.
Also I just make my own pizza cuz domino's tastes like dirt and spit.
>>711693167
You son of a bitch
>>711696000
>Not using your hands
You people disgust me no wonder you get raped by Muslims
>>711697390
We all masturbate at our jobs, thats nothing.
I was fired from one place that I got my friends jobs at and often regale them with the different places I came.
>>711698158
Your post contains a lot of hate towards Domino's. How do you feel about Pizza Hut?
