/nzg/ - New Zealand General: Safety First Edition
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
/nzg/ - New Zealand General: Safety First Edition
allow me to do the honors of starting off this glorious thread
The isis are a lie
How we all going after the shakeup last night and the aftershock tonight?
Dunedin here, we all good down here fam.
>>711663136
Nervous wreck fam. Can't even handle being in my apartment looking for a place on the ground to stay.
>>711663136
felt it in hamilton, cock blocked by a fucking earthquake, probably saved me from an std tho, so thanks earthquake bro
>>711663224
I'm feeling the same in my own house, my kid is sleeping through it like a champ and at this point I'm feeling phantom quakes. So god damn tired from the tsunami that never came
A guy I work with told me this happened to his parents
>tsunami warning for homes on the coast
>leave for the evening
>get home
>house is completely empty, got robbed because they knew
Why are people such scum?
>>711663374
Is there a givealittle?
>>711662651
>>711663353
The phantom ones are the worst. I can't tell if it's me shaking or the house.
>live in australia
>eat nachos
>don't have an earthquake
every single day.
shoulda named thread shakey shakey wakey wakey edition t b h
>how about that earthquake guys? amirite?
>>711663824
kek
e
k
these cows had an interesting morning
>>711663630
Yeah, it's crazy, I keep stabilising myself and then realising that I'm on edge.
>>711663981
Thankfully good ole nicotine is giving me a hand relaxing
>>711663800
wakey wakey earth is shakey
>>711663981
you're not on the edge
you are the edge.....
>>711663800
>Walks out mah bush
>Death Stare + Tongue Combo
>Frolly at you with the stick
>Shuffle back into mah bush.
Anyone know where to score in matamata?
>>711664047
Yeah I'm about to roll my first ciggy in hours haha.
Oh, hi guiz
tfw gf locked me in chastity and has gone to Australia for 10 days
chch reporting in.
>tfw grandad with emphasemia is trapped in Kaikoura.
>feels bad
Anyone wanna buy shrooms and coke from AKL?
>>711664187
angle grinder bruv
>>711664189
Oh no! hope all goes well mate.
>>711662651
femanons - Get ya tits out for the NZ fam
>>711663912
this thread needs moar french tanks tbh smh fam
>>711664291
auckland reporting in.
>>711664144
Dealer is stuck in the Hutt or i'd be fine
Smh
ello lads
Today my Pussy is real Happy =^.^=
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SayTCWttywU
>>711664374
Tobacco dealer?
>>711664544
yes....
Tobacco
>>711664345
not sure if they're french, but they certainly look weird enough to be french
Hello boys!
>net finally fixed after almost a month.
>>711664108
Can in Tauranga.
>>711664211
>shrooms
Yes, how much?
>>711664714
would bang
>>711664751
Any closer to matamata?
>>711664883
No sorry, hairy boy.
>>711664291
>>711664941
Algoods bro
Fuck, it was heartwarming to see all of yous checking in and checking up on other anons in here last night, and the Tinychat room had a mean setup going to keep us informed, so chur to the guys who made that happen.
Good shit all around, respect. Hope you're all safe and sound this evening, /nzg/.
>>711664657
>2000 + 19 - 3
>not having a folder of french tanks
>why even live?
>>711665024
That's like the culture of this country as a whole coming out in full force.
Glad the Radio coming through Tinychat helped out someone.
the quake didnt just fuck with humans
>>711665179
>>711665256
Sick pics man where is this?
>>711665306
Your mums va-jay-jay
this fucking cheesball was right:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isl1Gtg74e4
>>711665306
kaikoura
>>711665549
Holy shit, just eat my car up fam. I've been trying to find footage of the coastal settlements along the highway through kaikoura (Oaro) but the only footage I've seen is the slips over the tunnels and the state of the railway tracks.
Does anyone have any footage?
>>711665549
shit's fucked fam
>Christchurch
My female flatmate has been diving on the floor after every single 5+ earthquake all day. It almost makes these life ruining earthquakes worth while.
>>711665549
>>711665950
>>711666020
>>711665930
Do you sniff the floor after she gets up?
>>711665930
>literally this current fucking year
>still talking about the earthquake
smh tbh fam
>>711666080
>>711666097
no but I inhale the couch she sits on when she leaves the room.
>>711666103
This ride never ends.
anyone here in the wairarapa? been feeling the aftershocks all day
>>711666193
>>711666097
>>711666237
My parents are, the lost about a foot of water from their swimming pool.
>>711666237
you literally chose to live on a meme island that lies on shifting tectonic plates. you signed up for this shit
>>711666193
pics of her
>>711666378
You live on an island filled with deadly snakes, spiders, abos and surrounded by sharks.
>>711666491
You know, as much as I love your guys memes and general normieness... You cunts always remind me that you're pervs ahaha
>>711666594
hey you're the couch sniffer, now show me your hosuemates poosay!
>>711666491
>>711666747
Close enough
Holding out for my dealer to tell me to come pick up.
He was home twenty mins ago. I'm bugging out here...
>>711666653
I'm not the couch sniffer.
RE:>>711664958
>>711666378
no deadly snakes, no aboroginals, not founded as a criminal colony. rather deal with a few quakes every now and again than stepping over glue sniffing 'gins on the street.
>>711667097
last time i checked NZ has the most cucks per capita in the whole of Australasia
Just stopping in to say you Kiwi boys have some really nice smelling cocks.
Really really impressed!
>>711667577
Thanks fam
>>711667577
They do huh. Never met one who didn't keep it clean.
>>711667577
fucking faggot
>>711667696
Go on. Stories please.
>>711667867
Well I have only been in a position to smell two.
I was in a LTR since i was a kid basically and then after that. Not too much to report.
>>711666378
Us Kiwis make every aussie make sheep noises for our cocks fuck you faggot
>>711668059
You girl, boy?
>>711668237
I'm a woman. chur.
Where's that non selling mushies? I really want to microdose.
>>711668348
show clit, faggot
>>711668573
Newfag. It's been shown.
>>711668623
only newfags call cunts newfags, newfag
Quads and I'll put sharpie in pussy
>>711668851
If you haven't seen Q's clit, you are 100% a newfag.
>>711668917
>in pussy
sharpie in pooper faggot.
>>711664714
Hahaha that's not Tala Morgana
>Welli
>Phantom quakes
>Dat wind
Just fuck me up fam
>>711669154
>Phantom quakes
Made me feel a phantom quake. thanks nigga.
>>711669105
it is faggot.
>>711669574
Look at that screen tearing. Turn on VSync.
>>711669781
>>711666747
Jesse?
>>711669931
No hahaha.
>>711669931
Nope, James.
>>711670001
Show eye haha
who here has creampied in Quercy, and if one wanted to arrange it.. how would it be possible?
>>711668969
lmao Quercy's only been posting for what, 3 weeks now? omg super old :p
>>711670245
$500/hr. I get 10%.
>>711670421
bitch please. i've banged 10/10 escorts in Austria for $150/ hour
>>711670398
Couple months.
Does Quercy do anal?
>>711670497
If you fuck an escort that lets you cum in her you have aids. 100%.
>>711670116
>>711670421
over priced as fuck.
>>711670555
czech'd
obviously used a condom faggot. anyone this is the most recent one i had http://escortvienna.com/wien-escort/cristal/
>>711670644
Then it's not a creampie.
>>711670644
>that lazy eye
looks like most guys cum in here eye socket.
>>711670644
>Paying to fuck a girl that doesn't have a cock
Everyday until he cums back
>>711670766
that's what Anonnz is for.
>>711670761
she wouldnt let me :( paid an extra $50 for bj with no condom and she only went down for 2 mins.
overall experience 2/10. i felt used an empty inside
>>711670958
Why not have sex with a woman you like and who likes you?
>>711670941
IDboooooobs
>>711671021
Because nobody likes him.
>>711671068
I like anonnz
>>711671021
i was there on a business trip and was drunk and horny. plus prostitution is legal there so be rude not to..
>>711671111
>http://escortvienna.com/wien-escort/cristal/
>>711668917
Do it faggot
>>711671111
>>711671111
winrar
Sitting inside with my window open listening to the tsunami siren, shit sounded like the end of the world outside
>>711671111
waiting for Q to delivar with sharpie in pussy / pooper
>>711663374
One of my brothers friends tried selling me an ipad he stole during the chaos last night.
He now looks like a panda with missing teeth.
>>711671447
Good job, thank you for doing that to the scumbag.
>>711671447
I don't believe anyone on this site has ever struck another male physically.
>>711671443
I didn't make that promise, soz fam.
>>711671111
oh jehesus god, did this samefag bust a trip then a muthafucking QUAD?!!!
Since we're talking bout sex,what is the place to find a girl without going to bars or club?
>>711671531
At best they've stroked another man sexually.
Do sharpie in pooper on cam here:
http://tinychat com/nzcam
>>711671616
Playgroup.
>>711670001
Jesse posting pics of Marian
>>711671673
Wrong.
>>711671652
oh my god..
>>711671616
book a hotel room and order an escort to visit you for an hour
>>711671673
I swear it's my cuz jesse aye
>>711671774
>Hey I recognize those tits, they're my cousins!
Spotted the south islander.
>>711671859
Fuck you got me, im from dunnerz
>>711671774
shes been doxxed so many times and that doesn't even come close
>>711671531
>>711671481
Nah, credit goes to the old man, he overheard and had him pinned against the wall in a flash. Never seen him that riled up.
In that moment I've never been more proud to be his son.
Still got the ipad, hopefully I can find the owner.
>>711669105
Here's the newfag
>>711671983
Your dad is a complete GC.
Does it have an icloud lock? find the email and search said email on Facebook in the search bar, it might reveal a Profile.
>>711663335
So close
>>711672049
Nah, looks like the little cunt did a factory reset, so they must of disabled the lockscreen.
>>711663685
> live in Australia
> put shoes on
> spider in shoe
> die from lethal spider bit
> rip faggot
>>711672413
Fuck.
is the moon looking super tonight? im hoping for round 2 wobbly welly
>>711673066
the clouds are blocking its gravity rays tonight
mother nature flopped her balls on the highway last night
>>711673223
to add insult to injury she teabagged us
>North Canterbury
I want this earthquake meme to die already
>>711674058
I like that the spoon has a little wojak too.
>>711673664
Windy?
Ranui checking in
>>711674769
1/9-11 for trying.
Are there special precautions which the government takes for Hobbits?
Those holes they live in can't be safe if there is an earthquake.
There was nothing on the news about whether Hobbit areas are safe. I'm worried about them.
>>711674875
we are literally a meme country
As a kiwi who just moved across the ditch at the start of the year, I feel for you guys. Was there for those shakes we had in Wellington over the last couple of years, and it's scary as fuck. Stay safe out there guys
>>711675216
dat ain't new
>>711675216
nah she isnt posting though.
>>711675295
linked myself
>>711675357
>>711675357
did you even ask her to post? lol
>>711669931
toni
>>711675421
>Needing a womans permission for her to post
>Being this much of a cuck
>>711675492
She ain't gonna post without it cuh.
Q here lmao.
>>711675560
show bum
>>711675646
No.
>>711675560
show bum
>>711675701
show bum
>>711675560
show bum
>>711675592
show bum
>>711675810
There, my bum
>>711675810
>>711675844
show new bum
>>711675810
ok now show pussy plox
>>711675890
>>711675888
trips chekd
>>711675810
Yucky K-mart panties. I've got the same ones, they're terrible.
>>711675918
>>711676061
Haaaa!
that that nigga from power rangers.
>>711676034
show bum
>>711676143
I havn't showered today, You don't want to see that friend.
>>711676199
we do, in fact, want to see that!
>>711676111
>power rangers
>>711676034
show willy
>>711676274
BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED
I AM...
POWER RAAAAANGERS!
been sitting here for a few hours waiting on another big quake, gg im tired off to sleep
>>711676917
Power rangers, they are heroes
Gonna take the puttys down to zero
They have powers, and a sword and they're gonna form a mega zord!
What's good faggorni's? Reportin' on in!
>>711677039
latebro?
>>711676956
Same here, half waiting for earthquakes half hoping for the clouds to clear so I can see this juicy moon
>>711676000
fucking hell theres something about your face, i like it
Whats New Zealands most shit city?
For Canada its Hamilton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghdhn3QyUmE
>>711677069
nah just thought i'd pop in before bed is all
>>711677130
gore
>>711677012
Throwback to that time red Ranger met Mad Max
>>711677095
Something about my face?
>>711677095
faggot
>>711677130
For NZ it's Hamilton kek
>>711677130
It's also Hamilton here.
>>711677203
ops, drunk, i mean that girl in the pic
Kiwiboys, post your hot dicks, pls.
>>711677233
>>711677266
why hamilton ? gore is way worse
>>711677233
>>711677266
Double dubs confirms it, boys
Hamilton officially a shit
>>711677267
Yeah... that's me
>>711677285
Tip more tokens first
>>711677324
well, nice face youve got there, average tits tho
>>711677069
latebro here, keeping quiet the last few weeks.
>>711677417
You know >>711666747
>>711670941
>>711675216
>>711675810
>>711676000
is the same person right?
>average tits
>>711677449
we been 300 for a while now.
>>711677567
>not linking pussy
Dubs decides what I spend 50 bucks on.
>>711677651
this thread will never reach 300
>>711677567
fucking hell, nice butt and face, but her tits are a bit of a turn off
>>711677662
my paypal
>>711677662
160 nuggets from burger king
>>711677759
rolling
>>711677759
yess
>>711677662
Honey Jack, keep the change
>>711677759
clearly the right answer.
but the $3 10 nuggets deal ended at midnight
>>711677662
buy me durries.
>>711677662
A fleshlight
>>711677825
Fine 100 nuggets from macas if they still have that 20 for 10$ deal.
Macas nugs 10x better than bk anyway
>>711677905
roll
>>711677905
fucking roll
>>711677848
50 bucks not even enough for a 30g pouch these days
>>711677905
roll
(all these replies to the nugget posts are me)
>>711677905
two same
>>711677662
18 packets of Ice Cream cones.
http://shop.countdown.co.nz/Shop/ProductDetails?stockcode=273822
>>711677957
how much is a 30g now?
>>711677957
i only need one durry, fiening
>>711677662
Jameson.
>>711677662
Vitamin C supplements
>>711677662
10kg of harraways wholegrain old fashioned oats.
>>711678075
port royal is 51 with papers and filters i think. something along that, i never check
>>711678115
roll
>>711677662
chastity cage
>>711677662
cat
>>711677662
Spend it on a tracksuit and take pics of you slavsquatting.
>>711677662
black dildo
>>711677992
not just you, mate
>>711677905
rolling for nuggets
>>711677662
$45 of surimi from the supermarket and a jor of bestfoods mayonnaise
>>711677957
I quit smoking for vaping. Went through two 30 g packs a week. Now only buy a pack of 20's every once and a while. Would recommend,
>>711677662
1.1 kg of roasted almonds
>>711677662
Buy subscriptions to several paid porn sites and share the password.
>>711678255
WIN
>>711678255
winrar.
>>711678266
WINRAR
>Not buying activated almonds though
>>711678255
nigga, this the best thing I have ever witnessed.
>>711678255
winrar
>>711678255
Beat me to dubs >>711678266
But fucking quality purchase.
>>711678266
Are those activated almonds?
>>711678255
Oh shit, eat on live stream. Muk-bang nigger
>>711663136
Christchurch here, have barely felt any of the aftershocks since the big ones shortly afyer the mainshock, and even they were pretty weak. Looks like most of the energy is being channelled to the north, towards Wellington and away from us.
>>711678260
damn, really, i heard it makes you go sick if you have too much tho ? what do you reckon ?
>>711678255
good fucking job bud
>>711678307
You don't buy the almonds activated, you activate them yourself at home the night before you're going to eat them.
>>711678255
What the fuck is Surimi?
>>711677662 you better >>711678255 on nzcam
>>711678255
not bad t b h
>>711678419
fake ass "crab meat"
>>711678419
>>711678419
http://shop.countdown.co.nz/Shop/ProductDetails?stockcode=288991
Random bits of fish offcuts ground up and crab flavoured.
>>711678419
Mystery fish blend snack
ya'll faggots need jesus
>>711678410
There's two chemical's in the liquid. PG and VG. I heard one of them can give people headaches but if you order it online you can choose your mix. I.E no VG. You can also choose your nic amount. I go for about 12 mg nic on one flavour and 6 on any others I buy so I can mix and wean myself off.
https://www.mtbakervapor.com/
this sites pretty comfy for stuff.
>>711678545
You sound like my boss. This you Sam?
>>711678255
It's so fucking cheap too, 45$ will probably buy out their stock. When I first left home I used to roll up there with 5$ and I was sorted for a few days.
>>711678516
>>711678536
>>711678467
>>711678485
>>711678595
>>711678595
No this is ginga
>>711678545
youre the shit anon, cheers for this, im gonna have a look at it tomorrow when im sober
>>711678545
>>711678678
Shit I thought you died. Why you stealing my vapefagging thunder?
>>711678629
if you buy deli its super cheap aswell.
>>711678680
no probs fam
>>711678702
nah I'm alive and kicking. My dad got cancer though. Fuck cancer.
>>711678720
they ain't gonna let me buy 45 bucks worth.
they won't even have that much on display cuz.
>>711678744
Almonds then homie, you can activate them, blend some into almond butter, make trail mix for when you're on the go, crush them and sprinkle over your cereal
>>711678734
Oh shit fam. Sorry to hear, how my mum went.
>>711678744
say your having a crab themed party and its vital to the success of the party, and acquiring your newfound friendships.
>>711678744
You go to several supermarkets and buy all they have.
>>711678720
>be deli chick
>shift's nearly over
>yiss.gif
>serve some veggie ham so massive sheboon with gaggle of nigglets
>nekminnit
>greasy neckbeard autist walks up holding a 1kg jar of mayo
>asks for $45 worth of "crab" meat
>Fill up 8 massive containers full of crab meat
>slap on stickers
>autist forgets a basket
>drops all the crab meat
>cries and runs away
>tfw
this thread has literally derailed into a bunch of faggots talking about blended fish offcuts
>>711678894
we can only hope.
>>711678936
Just as well it's fucking over then
>>711678792
it's all good. He's up and kicking too but he's into his car and the brain tumor they took out was where his periheral vision was and they won't allow him to drive yet.
He's pretty sad man
>>711678894
change greasy neckbeard to
>dankest cunt ever
>>711678936
can you think of a better topic?
Also 300 checked
>>711678977
>they won't allow him to drive yet
Fucking still? Surely it's been 12 months by now.
Or did they delay it further?
>>711678887
this. its achievable anon.
>>711678977
I know bro. I wish I could say it gets better, but at least when it turns it's quick. Prepare your feel glands for some rough shit. I want to say something comforting but I can't really. It sucks.
>>711678985
>>711679044
Yeah it's 12 months almost but he went for an eye test before he went for the hospital one. Basically a practice test. He outright failed, they tested him again and failed even worse.
I couldn't even look him in the eyes because we were both on the verge of crying.
>pic sorta related, thought he was going to suduko
>>711678936
K E K
E
K
>>711679096
I know these feels, it's okay
>>711679290
On the plus side, grats on the mouth fedora, even if not completely off the durries. Feel good to be able to breathe full breathes again?
>>711679237
That's harsh feels, man. Feels you shouldn't need to feel. I cried with my dad when mum went, you kinda reminded me of that.
He can always ride passo, I guess. Still gets him out in the car like the good old days, maybe
>>711679388
Feel no different lately but I eat more food and I've had to buy bigger pants. It's going straight to my ass and ONE of my boobs.
My skin hasn't gotten any better, and I don't feel as alert but I guess it's too early to tell.
I am very lazy though.
>>711679450
I have felt so many things the last month. Nightmare's about him gassing himself in his pride and joy classic american car. Or necking himself from the rafters. He outright told me he was struggling I rang a bunch of places and sent him a word document telling him how much he mattered and that there were places to help and how afraid for losing him I was.
I think that helped. But he feels totally immasculated having his wife and daughter drive him around.
He ended up buying an electric bike to get around and it's been his life saver.
>>711679489
>one boob
kek. At least you have an ass now so there's that. Mine all goes to my dad bod.
If you cut them out wholly you'll probably notice. I know after a month I did. Shit was awesome.
>>711679685
Do you think it's the tar that fucks you up?
>>711679632
I don't have a feels meme that can accurately express the feels.
My mum put on a brave face through the whole thing until the end where she told me she felt like a failure because she couldn't stop smoking. Then was an instant turn. Stay close to him, enjoy the time together as much as possible.
>>711679761
It definitely is. After you're off cigs you get a nasty ass cough and get all that shit out of your lungs for about a week. If you haven't had that yet you're still full of tar.
>>711679632
Well hopefully you feel a bit better getting it out there. You know we're looking out for you.
It'll do him good to have written knowledge that he's important to someone, and it sounds like the wee bike thing is good too.
I'm guessing he was always a super independent dude? You've got a battle on your hands to tone him down to the pace of life he can manage now, but you'll get there eventually
Thread about to 404, another or nah?
>>711680060
Half two in the AM, let's call it a night or take it to Tinychat
>>711679935
Its a super hard habit to break. I've been trying to quit for ages, I havn't had the cough. How long were you off the smokes before you got the cough?
>>711679953
Yeah just got to help him as best I can. Even when he doesn't really want it. He just needs to find different kinds of independencies.
>>711680127
I'm going to call it and go to bed. See you in the next thread! Night all!
