shit just hit the fan. give me advice /b/, you are my only hope.
>yawn
>be me in happy relationship waking up this morning in girlfriend's bed this morning
>she leaves for work and i open it to cruise the net
>finally be not a piece of shit and leave her place
>later, at home, around 5pm gf says she is going to parents house and with hit me up later
>slut ex gf messages me on facebook
>haven't talked in awhile, talking playful and get horny
>go out on a limb and ask for nudes from her
>OP delivers
>i jerk off to pics and let ex know that i jerked off to pics via fb messenger
>falls asleep
>wakes up around 9pm
>text bae "where you been what you doin"
>she replys "you left facebook up and i'm just reading about you jerking off to your ex. i didn't even creep, it just popped up"
>*freeze frame*
>*record scratch*
>yep, that's me, you're probably wondering how i got here
>rookie fucking mistake
>i drive over and sit outside in the cold for an hour texting her to let me in
>inb4 fuck off mate
>now im back home
>is our relationship over
how fucked am i? how do i keep my gf
bumping with ex's tits that aren't worth it :(
edit**
>she leaves for work and i open her computer to cruise the net
>>711646025
You fucked up, man. Unless she has some psychological issues that prevent her from leaving you, you're fucked.
Keep talking to your ex and use her for sex until you get another gf. Private browsing and close browser windows next time. Lol
>>711646325
Oh, and post pics. Might as well share with the /b/ros since it's over.
>>711646025
considering that you didn't actually do anything with your ex, your relationship probably isn't over. She's going to want to talk about feelings or some shit, and make sure that if she mentions anything about her not being sexually attractive enough to you, you deny that shit and worship her pussy with your words. You'll be in the doghouse for a month then you're good.
Your ex's tits are nice, post moar if you have it faggot
>>711646325
but like i just jerked off right?? it's fucked because it's an ex, at least i didn't cheat-cheat???
you gonna post nudes?
>>711646506
I speak from experience.
She will forever hold this shit over your head. Any time you have a disagreement over the smallest things she will just remind you of this and you'll have to back down.
It's best to start fresh and not fuck up. Once that trust is broken, shit is not fun... for you or her.
>>711646483
thanks anon she (my gf) is definitely sexually attractive enough for me. definitely an 8 or higher. i had sex with her three times this weekend.
im just a horny idiot i think.
>>711646025
Well, the least you can do is post the rest of the pics
Bump
>>711646906
>>im just a horny idiot i think
tell her that too
>>711646906
>>711646313
what fresh hell is this?
>>711647062
i'm 25 and my gf is 28. maybe i can still play the "im young and reckless" card? am i too old for that shit? don't wanna appear too beta.
>>711646025
Not over if you play your cards right anon. Also your ex's tits are massively misleading. Next time you logout of every session before being a horny idiot lol
>>711647309
i know right, they look terrible sometimes
>>711646025
You're boned. You're lucky it wasn't your wife though. Before you get one though:
DON'T. CHEAT. EVER.
>>711647476
Keep posting pics. She sent nudes, right?
>>711647281
Not a good card tbh, that'll be the final nail
How about you admit to being addicted or some other shit, like you need help and you thought she'd push you away if you had told her earlier into the relationship. If she bites it you'll have an added empathy bonus and in the end (don't fuck it up for a big while) she'll have this sense of accomplishment like she was a big part of your recovery. I dunno man, it sounds like you fucked up big time. Better have some good explaining to do than nothing at all.
>>711647716
Also block you ex from fb don't be a dumbshit
>>711646025
You are one stupid piece of shit.
>>711647476
Jesus fucking Christ, what's with the pit hair? How can you jerk of with 2 fucking Krakens right there?
Dolores, erase this interaction
>>711647532
i know right. i didn't even think of it as cheating cause i was just jerking off.
>>711648035
i know :(
>>711648207
So looking at your ex naked while wacking it isn't that bad? So you would've done it in front of her if it isn't that bad.
You're a dickhead.
stop bein a little bitch op get over it
>>711647955
good advice thank you
>>711648207
Well, from her perspective, it might have seemed like you were feeling like she wasn't good enough for you, and you needed to go back to your ex to be satisfied. I can see how that could make her upset. If she's reasonable, you should be able to explain how you are/were feeling, and you should be ok.
Dump the rest of ex's pics, I'm kind of enjoying them. You have actual nudes, right?
>>711646025
I'd say it's over OP. Best thing to do is drop her a message and just apologize, don't make it too long winded. If you love her tell her that and then just leave it at that. If she contacts you again after the silence then you might have a chance at repairing it, otherwise move on and fuck more bitches.
>>711648117
>thinking every woman has to shave their pits and probably pubes too.
How's that non-existent relationship going anon?
>>711647532
I've gotten away with cheating and being caught more times than I can count.
It's all in how you throw the dick at 'em.
>>711648207
You are and idiot
Ever heard of "emotional cheating"? It's a thing apparently, look it up
>>711648784
They do. That shits gross.
>>711646906
You are a man op. All men are horny idiots. Learn from this and keep it in your pants
>>711648530
>>711648734
yeah left out a pretty major detail here: my gf and i work together. about 25 people in the office. neither of us are leaving this job. i gotta get her back or shit is gonna be mad weird.
>>711648854
i aint clicked that shit
>>711646506
Cheating doesn't have to be physical you dumb fuck. You betrayed her trust, you contacted your ex, and considering the reaction you had to it you knew you shouldn't have. Don't make excuses, there is no halfway point when it comes to cheating. Best bet is to keep fucking around with ex until yoy find someone new or to just stay solo for awhile.
>tl;dr you dun goofed
>>711646506
You are done bro. To her it will always feel like cheating. You lusted for another woman. To make it worse, it was on your gf's computer, and it was your ex... She will never fully trust you. She might take you back, but it will only be temporary. She will end up cheating on you or just straight out dumping. Move on and say you are sorry.
>>711649038
Oh fuck lol. That complicates things. I don't know what to say in that case...
>>711649038
Never dip your pen in the company ink, hombre.
>>711646906
Holy shit.. from >>711646313 to >>711646906
>:boner killer
>>711646025
Time to go back to your ex, silly OP.
>>711646906
Now we need to see your current gf(?)'s tits to compare and see where you stand.
DO IT OP
>>711649038
haa shieet, you're done. Better get job huntin' amigo. Even if you repair things it won't make things better at the office.
>>711649466
this
lol is rachel your ex or are you just posting her pics for the story?
>>711649466
Dubs of truth, DO EET!
>>711649216
nooo plz don't say this to me. i fuck her well and have treated her amazingly outside of this event for over a year. he last boyfriend cheated a bunch and i've been good enough that i'm hoping she can get past this moment of weaknes.
>>711648925
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
>>711647281
The fact you still have your ex's pics saved means you aren't serious about your gf. Just let her go. Don't be selfish and waste her time.
>>711648784
>>711648925
Shit's pretty gross, like wtf. Almost every girl I've gone out with shaves her pubes at least. Wouldn't even consider a Chewbacca pitted girl, ffs
>>711648784
If I shave my butt and legs, she also has to.
>>711649216
>>711649668
Anon here speaks the word of wisdom
>>711646025
Why the hell didn't you go watch some porn or visit /b/ probably would've been a hell of a lot easier to get away with?
You took the extra effort to coerce your EX so nigga that's kinda on you. Hope you don't end up alone op
You are so young bro.
And it apparent you dont love her.
Im not saying that to be mean, Im just saying that when you one day really love a girl, you will be able to control yourself from putting yourself in a cheating situation.
Iv been in a relationship for about 5 years now, finally found a good girl.
One night my ex came fucking around and sexting me, I too tried to jack off, but my dick wouldnt get hard because everytime I went to jack it, all i could see in my mind was my current girls face all heart teary eyed and hearbroken from what id done.
So, i stopped, and decided never to try it again, lest i lose something really valuable in my life.
>>711649957
Thank you! Even I do that, hair is fucking nasty
>>711649957
if you shave your ass and legs you are a faggot
>>711650320
what the fuck is wrong with you
>>711650235
Fagggggg
>>711650223
that's exactly why i feel so stupid rn :(
>>711648117
>what's with that thing that happens naturally
I dunno, drives some people (me) wild.
>>711649668
The fact that her ex was a cheater kinda makes it worse for you. Noe you remind her of her last boyfriend.
>>711650235
This guy can't cum unless it's on the one he loves, and probably his mom
I'm usually all about conversation and understand, but honestly, if that would happen to me, I would ha nothing. No advice from me this time except, good luck, mate. And don't be an idiot next time.
>>711650391
Fag+pussy=not fag
>>711648117
>>711650320
Lmao why are so many guys turned off by women's pubic hair? Shits normal. I feel bad for chicks that gotta witness our hairy asses
>>711650612
maybe she will realize how absolutely dumb this is and we can go to the winchester, have a pint and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
>>711646025
You leave your facebook on in your girlfriends house? You do it other places too. The apple store, your mates house, wherever the fuck is the most plausible. Some dickhead was fucking with your account, talked to your ex and got nudes. Super simple shit OP, LIE.
Pic of current GF please.
>>711650754
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
>>711650779
i like her too much to post her shit for you to jerk off to
>>711650724
Pubic hair is gross af and not shaving your hair ass is gross af.
>>711649668
Makes it worse to be honest. She will say you knew her past and still fucked her over. Sorry man, I wish it wasn't like this. I speak from experience;(
>>711650870
I wasn't going to jerk off, just dream of having a gf ;_;
>>711650881
Kek. You shave your ass hair?
i know this girl irl. should i tell her not to send nudes to her ex because he can't keep them to himself?
>>711648117
lots of girls don't shave their armpits. you must have pretty high standards if it's a dealbreaker for you
>>711650917
tomorrow we might be in the same place buddy ;_;
>>711650870
If that was the case, we wouldn't be in this mess, now would we?
>>711650963
If you're a fucking faggot, sure.
>>711650724
idk, personally I find it a lack of personal hygiene. I try to shave every so often for the same reason, it's somewhat of a turnoff to have a fucking hairy ass
>>711651031
Thanks for the free lolz.
>>711650957
You don't?
>>711651000
Pretty big deal breaker, I shave, bitch better shave as well.
>>711646025
Look man, you might lose your girlfriend. You need to just accept that. You might have lost her anyway, even if you weren't so fucking retarded. It might work out for the best for both of you - you can't know that now.
But you can try. You can compare your ex to porn. Tell her she was just a masturbation aid. Tell her you are basically a dog humping a chair. Convince her that your feelings are completely separate from the things you jack off too.
The hardest part is convincing her the ex doesn't have something "looks-wise" that she lacks. Why after all would you jack it to a chick you don't like enough to be around. My solution to this? Tell her you hate your ex - so you can picture doing nasty things to her that you'd never imagine doing to a real woman. Say "even though she doesn't look that great, she is awful enough personality-wise that I can picture choking her with my cock and get off."
Just some thoughts.
>>711650963
honestly don't think she'd be mad these aren't identifying
>>711651000
Lots of girls don't have high standards in the men they choose so they willingly let themselves go and not keep themselves pristine
>>711651172
Don't even know how lol. I'm hairy as fuck. Only thing I shave is my face
>>711651438
Bruh, with a fucking gillete razor or whatever brand you want, first time takes some time, but if you keep it in check every 4 to 7 days it'll take 10 minutes max
show her this thread
Christ Anon. You goofed up on this one.
>Consequences will never be the same, as they say.
Talk to her. Try to get her back with the classics. I was just horny and stupid, I love you not her, what can I do to make this up to you, I can't stop thinking about it I feel terrible, they're just nudes, you're more than that, or what the fuck ever else you wanna say.
If she has respect for herself, it probably ain't happening friend. That being said, I did the same thing and got her back. Good luck Anon. You stupid mother fucker.
>>711651345
fair, i honestly think she'd just lol. i'm not actually going to do it since i'm not going to admit i still use 4chan.
>>711651652
lmao best advice so far ? at least she'lol know i'm geniuinely distraught
>>711651648
Do you shave your anus? Sounds difficult as well
>>711651349
>kissless virgin detected
seriously, this many people are this stupid?
I prefer a shaved pussy. Easier to eat out. I don't demand it. Who the fuck are you to demand it? Just like how I'd laugh at a woman who tells me to shave my pubes or ass. Fuck outta here, people's bodies belong to themselves.
Bet you wouldn't kick an 8/10 out of bed cause shes got a hairy coon, would ya? faggot
>>711651776
ahahah anon is GOAT
>>711646738
FUCKING THIS, same shit but with random tindr girl in the beggining of the relationship, i would do something like forget to take the trash out and it would get swung back to me and the random tindr girl, just start over man
>>711651784
Can you new fags go shave yr anuses in a new thread?
Never understood why retards would do something like that. You are not a Man.
>>711651958
i don't wanna start over it's so good lately and i actually like her a lot. first time in a long time i've kept all my eggs in one basket
no more anus talk please i need help
>>711652066
then be prepared for this shit to come back and haunt you forever, just saying
>>711651327
This is pretty good advice, OP.
Good luck either way.
>>711651988
Fuck no. I'll choose to shave my anus hair anywhere I please
>>711651875
nobody's telling nobody what to do, you just prefer a shaved pussy over a hairy cunt. let's say two 8/10s, one shaved and one not
>>711651784
It's surprisingly easy. I shave it about every two days along with my balls and taint. It's just a matter of squatting in the shower and get that razor in there. Takes all of 2 minutes to do and your gf will thank you for it when she rims you silly.
>>711651000
i thought hairy pits would be a dealbreaker until i hooked up with a girl with hairy pits. it's honestly not even gross. it's not like you're gonna eat out her armpit.
>>711651988
Fuck you, I'll shave in fucking Times Square if I want to
>>711652593
I'm actually learning a lot, please keep the anus/relationship advice coming
>>711651327
thank you anon. good advice. maybe i should do a grand gesture? what should i do?
>>711652550
It's just aesthetically unpleasing if you ask me. Wouldn't go out with a hairy pitted girl under my standards
>>711652510
>>711652794
Do what this guy says, actually is the best method I've used so far. I just pass on the rim job, but I won't judge
>>711652794
having these convos happening side by side... im not going to be able to think about anuses without thinking about relationships from now on. and vice versa.
>>711652815
you should kill yourself
>>711653021
thought about it while i was sitting in the cold outside her apt for an hour.
>>711652934
Have you ever gotten a rim job? It's quite spectacular, anon. It's not so much the sensation of someone sucking and licking your anus as it is the feeling that the person doing it is dirty enough to do it.
i really feel like the overwhelming response is that i'm totally fucked here :(
>>711646025
you don't
Not only are you a cheating scumbag, you're so stupid that you don't deserve to stay with her and risk reproducing. Make sure to enter your next relationship with a fat, failed abortion of a "woman" to ensure your genes are only passed on to to a child who will never have a chance at reproduction
>>711653368
That's because you probably are. I'm not sure you can do anything at this point and all you can do is to wait and hope that your gf will take the first step towards reconciliation.
You're a fucking boob, let's hope she can accept that.
>>711649668
the only thing that may work is saying you were about to fap already when your ex messaged you, so you used it as porn substitution and it didn't mean anything.
Slim chance but better than nothing.
>>711652066
You fucked up and it's over. I don't wanna lie to you and get your hopes up. It's done. You cheated (in her mind which is what matters), so now you're a cheater forever
>>711653116
Never really caught my attention, feel it's kind of awkward
>>711646025
She's your girlfriend, not your wife. You will lose nothing.
>>711650768
looks like he already admitted to it
>>711653939
yeah im not trying to lie about this. just owning up to it and let her know it didn't mean anything.
>>711648925
currently sleeping with solid 9 who doesn't shave her pits, gonna have to disagree with you there. she's comfortable with her body, which translates to 10/10 sexual congress
>>711650457
>>711650581
Fucking kekt
>>711653841
I was just like you and didn't want someone to fiddle around back there. I was 27 the first time I got one, this girl I met at a bar suddenly and without warning spread my legs and cheeks and went to town. Licking, sucking, spitting and rubbing her face against my anus. She was so cute and incredibly dirty. From then on I was a convert and every girl since have done it. I've reached a point where I insist on it.
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY
>>711654295
>she's comfortable with her body
This makes a 3/10 a 10/10 in my opinion.
>>711654450
It might be okay, but probably not. Won't lie to you.
>>711650235
guffaw
>>711654450
Everything is going to be ok
>>711654455
raise your standards
OP, everything will work out between you and her. Now show us her bare stomach.
>>711654331
idk i feel it's kind of submissive as well
>>711654599
What would be the point of raising ones standard?
>>711654295
when you start going out with girls that gym and take care of their body it's different, most of these girls are comfortable with their bodies cuz they know they're fucking hot
>>711654450
Why do you want to hear lies dude? And waiting outside in the cold is pathetic. Move on.
>>711654295
Errr, question. What is sexual congress?
>>711654790
It's not the same to fill your stomach with canned tuna than with grade A steaks cooked at a fancy restaurant
>>711654683
Quite the contrary. Having her lick the dirtiest place on my body makes me feel more like a man than anything else. If she's into bondage and/or likes getting dominated you can choke her with your hands when she does it.
>>711655025
That analogy would almost work except what you're talking about is a clear lack of satisfaction when actually he sounds fully satisfied.
>>711646025
You are polverised, your relationship
Is deceased, and you have no chance at regaining her trust.
>Start back at square one dude
>>711655129
Probably been eating canned tune all his life
>>711654878
I never said that wasn't the case. She's objectively hot, "taking care" of her body for her means not subjecting herself to beta pedo standards of hairlessness
>>711655217
I dunno... I would take the woman he is describing out for some fine steak.
>>711650754
Underrated
>>711655025
I get the analogy but it's not the same for me as I don't equate eating to sex. Sure, I don't want a 3/10 as a gf, but she's probably good enough to fuck. I've had girls all over the point scale and in my humble opinion a pussy is a pussy is a pussy, and all that matters is that she's comfortable enough with her body and you to do incredible things in bed.
>>711650870
But you can just use whatever you want? Think of it as part of your atonement
>>711655271
3/10 is not canned tuna? Canned tuna is 3/10 for me
>>711655433
>a pussy is a pussy is a pussy
Well pussy being loose or tight, plus whether you get stuck with a woman who can't even get themselves off let alone have orgasms (isn't this like 20% out there supposedly) are serious considerations.
>>711655271
>>711655433
How can you not fucking equate eating to sex? I've preferred to go eat than to have sex. And idk, if I'm gonna fuck with somebody, at least be somebody I won't regret when I get something better? Know what I mean?
>>711655474
He's not even live now spam chan.
>>711655668
Why would you regret it? Do you post pictures of every fuck you've gotten on IG? The only way I would regret fucking someone is if it was the last fuck of my life.
>>711655661
Sure, pussies are widely different, but you can't tell how loose or tight a pussy is just by looking at a woman.
>>711655928
Obviously not, but, it kind of lowers your self worth to go out with someone out of pure desperation
thanks for all the advice tonight /b/ros
i'll update with how this turns out tomorrow