Feels Thread plz How are you feeling tonight, Anon?
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Feels Thread plz
How are you feeling tonight, Anon?
>>711639912
I wanna fucking die.
>>711639912
Pretty averagely shitty.
>>711639912
It's 4.16am here in England and I don't have enough booze to get tired (chronic insomnia since day one).
>>711640131
Damn. Why not go out and buy some, since you can't sleep anyway
very tired of this whole living thing. Know theres things I need to do but don't want to do them.
/r/ing an image posted a couple years ago of a mom texting her kid every day for about two years and the kid never responding
Generally shitty for generic autist reasons.
>>711640255
Same here man
>>711640420
I feel you dude
not good feels. but better then feeling nothing
Can someone post some sad stuff so I can cry? I can't feel a thing since a few weeks and I'd really appreciate feeling sad or crying right now. Thanks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7GSARUs_Q
>>711640673
I wish I felt nothing tbh
>>711639912
Feel like sleeping all the time. Take sleep aids at like 9 pm just to pass out. No motivation. Kind of wish the world would end.
>>711640754
>>711640809
I think you're me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM
Welp in 8 days im homeless. Right in time for the holidays too! I got royally fucked by the IRS. I had an accountant but the god damn dick didnt do his job at all and I ended up owing the IRS nearly 100k, which after the court hearing, they seized all of my savings, I ended up owing the tax attorney 19k in total, and now hes taking me to court too. I have no friends, no family (my family was extremely abusive), my gf left me because of the "stress".
I have a type of muscular dystrophy that will end up killing me. I havent even ate in 3 days besides 2 cans of green beans. The next time the food pantry near me is open is in 2 weeks nearly. I havent been this hungry in my life. All I want is a decent meal before im forced out, but I know that wont happen.
I cant even work in the same field because the company I was contracted to was audited because of me and they ended up owing a few million, and the word about me got around...
Cherish the ones you love, and the good things in your life /b/ros, You never know when they will be taken away from you. I hope each and one of you has a happy holiday. Have fun for me, because I, in all honesty, will prob not make it to the holidays. I want you guys to have at least some good times in my stead. You are the only family I have. You have made me laugh, made me cry, made me vomit, made me fap. But at least, you made me feel something. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. My family.
>>711641775
We love you too
>>711641775
Fuck man. This got me emotional. God speed.
>>711641775
Whereabouts are you from anon? I might be able to help you out for a little bit.
>>711641775
Don't lose hope anon !
>>711640216
Spent the last of my money on the booze I'm just about to finish.
>>711642083
>>711642347
Thank you. I needed to hear these things, ya know?
>>711642604
Cincinnati, Ohio.
Good ol Ohio (sarcasm of course)
>>711642741
I haven't. Hope is one thing that I have always had, and until I take my last breath, I think its the one thing that no one can take away from me, if I dont let them.
Really trying to get my life together
I've been seeing a therapist and i think it's helping, been on meds for years. Yesterday I went and bought a book on something I'm interested in pursuing. Its a big step considering I just lay in bed or lurk all day, so I'm making baby steps.
Trying not to think too far into the future. I don't like to have dreams and such because I don't stride for them, I fear i can't live up to it. I know my limits, and it makes me question what to do. Say fuck it and get disappointed for it or don't try and never know.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0lX2RaeQmhn
have a song, guys. For the ones who miss her
I honestly have no clue anymore. I'm currently in a rehab/homeless program. I feel moderately suicidal most of the time, but i cant talk to anyone aboot it. If i do, they will send me to the hospital and discharge me from the program. I'd be back on the streets in no time, so kinda just got to deal with it. I'm kinda at the point where I'm hanging in there just to see what happens.
>>711643198
well if you have health insurance and can afford a therapist and books, y u feel bad?
>>711643535
>If you have millions of dollars and can buy and do anything you want, y u feel bad?
It's not always the things you own, anon.
>>711640803
It really isn't that great.
Alot of blood dripped on my foot, when the water hit the entire shower floor was red
I always come to these threads going to feel something, but nothing ever gets me. I've read the long posts and seen a lot of the reposted stuff. It seems like forever since I last felt anything.
>>711639912
Decided to get a test today to see if my problems are physiological, not just mental.
Chances are I'm just crossing of a possibility, but it's worth checking.
>>711644104
Blood for the Blood God
>>711644189
Exactly
>>711641775
when i proposed to my girlfriend of eight years last week she laughed at me
>>711644668
Dw it will probably happen. I am not at that point yet, but a week or so without food and then sleeping outside in the cold and I might.
>>711641775
I wish you the best of luck mate
>>711639912
Work is shit, gf is fat, business isn't going in the right direction.
On the other hand, I get paid, she loves me and in my heart I know I love her (even if I want to fuck tight thin chicks), business might get better
>>711645280
cmon man
proper res
>>711645280
>>711645399
ah shit i thought mine was bigger
anyway i'm on a binge of netflix and alcohol
what are you guys up to
Shits lookin up lately. Despite class work bending me over and stretching my asshole, I think I finally found some friends that care about me. And, maybe a girl if I'm lucky.
>>711645155
Get her to lose weight.
Learn how to into fucking business, its not that difficult. If it isn't working and hasn't for years fucking throw in the towel.
>>711641775
Best of luck to you mate.
>>711645583
Literally shooting Jack and watching netflix. There's this girl at my university who's into me but who I really don't like. She's really sick though with all kinds of genetic conditions, and I feel bad because I don't know if she's going to be okay or for how long.
I genuinely am more or less where I wanted to be a year ago and I hate it.
>>711646204
>I don't know if shes going to be ok or for how long
Is she ugly? Like really ugly?
Been living with my grandmother for the past 6 months, had a house but the week I moved in my two roommates lost their jobs, so we lost it. Got a decent warehouse job about 2 months ago, but everytime I get paid something comes up so I haven't been able to put any money away. Been arrested for possesion twice within the last 4 months and I'm still waiting on my court date, but since my car broke down last week I don't know how I'll make it. Girlfriends parents hate me, and do everything in their power to split us up. I plan on having my own place by around May or June of next year, but it's hard to stay optimistic when everything keeps going wrong. Tell me your problems, b/ros, helping people through their problems helps me through mine.
>>711639912
I'm feeling alright OP, got some stuff to take care of before I check out. Planning on doing it sometime before the end of the year or maybe on New Years Day.
>>711646204
>>711646410
Bruh if she is like 3/4 of a 10 and got em cash and heart fucking go
>>711641775
You should make a paypal beg thread anon. I could give you a bit of cash and im sure others could too.
>>711639912
>28
>Virgin
I dunno m8, kinda happy I will soon be a wizard.
None the less, I'm not in a hurry to get a girl, mostly because I know what I look like, and my personality doesn't do any better. So, if I do get a girlfriend, she will most likely cheat on me, and I will end up sad and shit.
In a way, I am happy.
Somewhat.
>>711647250
ill be 30 in a week and still a kissless virgin. good luck anon.
>>711645125
>>711645879
Thank you both. Really.
>>711646986
I dont know. I dont really want to start a begging thread. I kind of feel like my story isnt for begging but just to vent a bit. My pride is long gone now, so I dont have anything to lose. Dont get me wrong, if someone wants to donate a couple bucks or anything, then ill gladly accept.
[email protected] - Paypal.
>>711646410
She has hyperthyroidism and weird horomal problems so she has a really puffy face, swollen neck, really wide bone structure on her extremities, and she has fucking rashes everywhere.
Really ugly.
>>711647331
You too bro, don't let it get to you.
OC from a couple days ago
Guys im not op PLEASE HELP
>got 2days on me
> the life have really turned
>everything going good
> a guy borrowd drugs on my head
> need cash fast asap
> i do whatever u guys want
> 48hours or im fucked
> fuck me what should i do
> i know the guy for 8years
> and he do this to me
> have do everything for him in years
> i feel like n idiot sorry guys
>sorry my english so stressed
>i just want everything as b4
>>711647384
Well if she's really ugly just ignore
I was gonna say if she's mildly attractive give her a chance in case she dies so she doesn't die alone but nvm lol
>>711639912
Shit as always, nothing new honestly.
>>711647531
The guy who wrote it i can tell my life n guys will get why i ask here sorry
>>711647536
I feel bad because she's a genuinely good person and not a roastie and I have to turn her down. I wish it were any other way.
I thought the world would be less scary when I got older
>>711641775
Shit man, sorry to hear that, I'd help you out but I'm on the other side of the world.
Some comfy beats for us fine suffering gentlemen:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjgm3xHr96Q
>>711647903
One of the only girls that was ever into me was legitimately mentally retarded and looked like a bridge troll.
You ain't seen shit.
>>711645583
trying to drink my pain away, its not working btw.
someone i knew died a couple years ago, i was in love with her but i never told her. i really wish i did.
i wish i could of said goodbye.
>>711640797
this breaks my heart every time
>>711639912
tired -- like, ridiculously tired and I don't want to do anything, even things I'm interested in
dunno if I have a (really mild) sore throat or not
kind of realized that I think about a fucking mascot character boy more I think of my girlfriend
kind of really don't want to deal with anyone at all
>>711640797
This video.
I am never prepared.
>Started my first full time job since graduating college this past May
>Started a new antidepressant recently
>Buying my first car soon (I've used the family minivan my whole life)
>Celebrating anniversary w/ my girlfriend later this month
>Finished recording the last few tracks of a split my album is releasing
This has been the best few months I've had in a long time. Life seems like it's finally on the upswing. I hope you all are having a good night, too.
Trying countless antidepressants and anti anxiety medications and i'm spent. Nothing helps and I'm always tired. I'm always tired yet sleep eludes me. The quiet buzz of the television is enough to sweep me off to limbo, a sleepless land where my nightmares seem to come alive. The darkest of reapers appears before my very eyes and sends me spiraling down a pit darker than space. Just as the end finally comes into view, a sharp tremble is sent down my spine, jerking me awake. Another sleepless night. Another night of sitcom reruns and tampered visions of my past, present, and future. I just want to feel whole again.
>>711639912
I got an anxiety attack because I can feel my heart beating and it is super annoying.
Other than that I feel pretty good about recent events.
>>711639912
Lots of anxiety
/r/ing that pic where after death an anon's mom left him messages on a game they used to play
just chased a bar with a cold beer...happy thoughts
>>711640131
feel this feel for sure.
>>711648314
drinking doesn't help shit
well, that's a lie, a glass can do you some good -- but people don't tend to just stop at a glass when they're down
on that note, I want some booze
>>711649806
>antidepressants
I just switched to effexor 150mg XR and it's helped me a lot. The worst side effect was dizziness at first. Loss of appetite. The cool thing is it really helped my sexual performance. I can fuck for like an hour w/o cumming now. Definitely would recommend if you can try it.
>>711649877
I feel you there bro.
>>711641775
Godspeed you magnificent fucker. It's always darkest before the dawn
>>711650287
is a prescription needed?
>>711646668
Not sure people get the reference.
I'd say don't do it but who am I to call it? At least you wont feel a thing. But at least think about it a bit longer..
>>711639912
Angry but I can't seem to find a reason why
>>711650495
yeah, i don't know if there are any OTC antidepressants
>>711646668
>add-on item
shit mate, I know you're going to die, but that made me laugh a bit
>>711647250
Just pay for it mate. If I was 28 and a virgin, I'd have no problem hiring a prostitute.
Tbh if you did, your first time would probably be better than most normies cause of how experienced she'd be. Just get over yourself and do it faggot.
You'll realize it's a pretty cool part of life, but not the mind altering experience you've probably built it up to be and can then carry on with your lonely existence with one less thing on you mind
>>711650287
75 mg of effexor causes me to feel numb. if i cry it's for less than 30 seconds and i feel a significant void because i can't feel shit. sounds and words are meaningless and my creativity shot
>>711639912
reposting from last thread
>girl breaks up with me
>months pass
>finally think im over her
>for no reason at all I check her twitter
>avi is now a picture of her and some mixed breed mutt
>feel a pang of emotion
guess im still not over her just yet. I think it especially hurt because im having a hard time getting a new girl
i can hookup yeah, but i really just want a gf
I'm the only one that knows that my dad cheated on my mom when I was a kid and as I grow older it fucks me up more and more
>>711651808
somebody throw me a couple (You)s, i feel so alone right now. i just want to know that somebody out there is listening
anybody?
>>711651808
Fuck man.. I lost my fucking MIND when this happened to me. I was heading out with friends and browsing facebook and bam. There it was. Her on some fucking beefcakes shoulders. I had to get out of the car. I screamed my fucking head off and ripped a tree out of the ground. I've never felt so fucking defeated and mad in my life. If that guy were in my line of sight I'd probably be in jail right now. My mates just let me go nuts.
When the adrenaline ceased and the dread set in, I realized I'd ripped a tree out of the ground. Started drinking heavily. Took me a long, long time to feel "numb" to my love of her but it never really goes away.
I'll always love her (basically cuckolding myself but it's true). Took two years for it to not hurt my heart anymore. Came out of love with a drinking problem and an existential crisis.
Be careful who you love...
bumping
>>711652774
To expand we dated for two years, ended up getting in more and more fights, she stopped wanting sex, we mutually agreed to break up but I don't think either of us really wanted it to happen. For the best I suppose.
>>711652262
I'm listening Anon.
I feel you.
Had to leave my baby because I suspected she was unfaithful with no way to prove it.
A week after we broke up she's posting pics with a nigger.
A week later they broke up. I'm guessing he popped the cherry and left.
I was right.
I miss her so much though.
My girlfriend left me because she said the distance made her too stressed and that nothing would change we'd just not call it dating til I moved there in a few months. She stopped messaging me after that, maybe one or two replies a day when it was hundreds before. Then she started posting slutty pics and is calling another guy her boyfriend.
I know it sounds like i just am fucking retarded and thought a facebook relationship was real, but this girl and i have been best friends/ "talking" for over two years and I'm in love with her.
I'm fucking torn apart. I would have put my life savings on a bet that she loved me as much as she made me believe.
It fucking hurts so much seeing her with another person. I'm really, you could call it territorial I guess, because I don't even think I could be with someone who isn't a virgin lol. I'm 18 and she's 16.
How do i make the pain go away /b/?
>>711651808
>>711652774
It's hard to get over someone when you really loved them. I can't say it's that uncommon either, I still haven't gotten over my ex from two years ago.
>>711652774
>>711653013
for the last 4 months of it all she did the bare minimum to keep me there, it was fucking hell
>on and off for 4 years
>finally back together october last year, shit was great
>she went to CC, Im at university
>all through the school year we visited each other when we could
>talk about everything we would do when i come home from the summer
>day i get back she ghosts me
>does the absolute bare minimum to keep me hanging on, feel like a complete cuck but do it anyways
>wake up
>work 8-6
>study
>lift
>stress drink until 2 about this girl
>rinse and repeat
>a week before we go back to school (shes going off to another college) she finally tells me she just doesnt feel anything for me and doesnt want to keep this up while we're off at college
>worst part of it all, she snapchats and texts me flirty shit until i block ehr on everything
why do women do these things
cntd
>>711653093
>How do I make the pain go away /b/?
This is the hardest and probably most important question. As someone who has been through the worst of recovering from love, I'd say time. Time heals. Do your best not to reopen your scars, but you likely will.
To start, I deleted my social media so I had no temptation to look at her shit. Anything she had in my house I chucked in the trash. I had to isolate myself because I was not myself. It took a long fuckin time to get over it. I'm not really even over it, just able to deal with it now.
When all you want to do is lay in bed or go get drunk, try to make yourself do something that's good for you. Go for a run or do something distracting.
>>711653523
The games... I'm with you there. Frustrating as fuck. I'd say she does it because she knows you like her. They get some sort of fucking ego/confidence boost from that.
Good on you for blocking her on everything. I had to do that and thought I was pathetic for it at first, but by doing so you're protecting yourself. As much as you feel you need to know what she's doing, it's hurting you.
>i wan't to die
Im slowly losing my sense of self to a steadily worsening DID/MPD.
I keep hurting people i care about.
Failing in school because my condition is withering my memory.
I cried for about an hour over how almost scarily relatable this is.
>>711653523
u know, its time
Freshman in college and I've never been so alone lads. The girl I'm supposed to be with dumped me bc I wasn't able to hide my depression and acted like an autist. Every time I think about her I want to put a bullet through my head. It's hard not to be with the person you think you're right for. Last summer I didn't leave my house and had to go on meds and see someone. No one looks at me the same anymore.
>>711653569
Thanks anon. This needs to be the last time she rips my heart open. We've been a thing for 2 years, on and off flirting, fighting, friendship, etc. She always shows interest, i show interest back, then she stops and ignores me and I'm crushed and then we don't talk for a week then we're friends again and it repeats. This time was really severe. A year ago I asked her out, she said yes, a day later the ignoring started and I just flipped, huge fight, didn't talk for a month. Since then i didn't tell her I liked her again etc, just stayed friendzoned until about 2 months ago i was tripping out on mushrooms in the back of my van in the middle of nowhere. I was the happiest i had ever been, I felt amazing and all I could think about was how badly i wanted her there. So I called her, while tripping balls and tried to explain i was in love with her. She started crying and said she regretted ruining all her chances with me when she was younger and dumber. A week or so later after heavy lovey shit I asked her out. We were together a month before she said she was too stressed for distance and the rest is history. I blocked her tonight after seeing the posts about a new guy.
I fucking planned my life around her. i was moving there in 2 months. Fuck.
>>711653050
im so sorry anon. how did you know she was cheating?
>>711653523
>>711653475
>>711653013
cntd
I was drinking heavily as soon as she said that to me. a handle of the shittiest, cheapest vodka i could find, new one every night. most nights i ended up drunk driving, videogames wouldnt distract me anymore and i had to find a way to get out
the lowest point was when i was sitting at my dining room table trying to force myself to eat. my mom had seen me hurting but i hadnt said anything. she asked me what was wrong and out of nowhere i stammered out "i-i just-" and then broke down in tears. went up to my room and drank more, this was probably around 3pm. i woke up at 8, tried to go lift still drunk as fuck, gave up after my first set on bench and spent the next two hours drinking and driving
her birthday was a week before she dumped me, I had gone out and bought her 6 vinyl records from her favorite artist
got home from work one day, wrote out a 3 page letter to her, put it with her records in a package and mailed it to her. never have i felt like a bigger cuckold. i bought them weeks in advance and my mom had teased me all the time asking if i had returned the records yet
i fucking hate how much of a bitch she made me
cntd
>>711654150
shit man I can relate...
>>711647374
Good luck, anon. Wish I could send more.
>>711653569
No, it doesn't. Sorry bro.
5 years since "her". It was short (2 years) but very intense relationship. Got ruined for shitty reasons.
I get my shit together, have a nice job, steady relationship, generally fine life but my mood and will to live NEVER got even remotely close to that I had then.
It is said that you truly love only once, and I'm afraid that's true.
pic related, "her"
I just want to be a hermit.
>>711653867
have you talked to yours at all since? i sure have
>>711654241
>>711654436
she said she still wanted to be friends, and being the spineless faggot that i am i agreed
literally that fucking night she was snapchatting me lewd selfies, god knows why she wanted to fuck with me even more. i loved this girl, we even talked about marriage and kids a couple times, in a semi joking semi serious way. we both actually knew that we would marry each other, and god damn did she exploit that. we texted as """friends""" but she made sure to exploit my feelings
>sending me snapchats of her taking care of babies in a mom way
>somehow got into a conversation about having kids
>"im so excited to have kids id have one right now if i could"
>"im so excited to have a baby bump"
>"my kids are going to look so cute"
then shed go back to ghosting me until she was ready to fuck with me again
if i texted her or snapped her first shed ignore it, open the snaps read the messages and nothing. we only talked when she wanted to talk. when she texted me I would think to myself "ok we're friends now. I have no reason to be petty and ignore her since shes just a friend and i dont do that shit to my other friends so i wont do it to her" and id reply. then shed ghost me again and id end up looking like a massive bitch. met her best friend at a party, we had a long talk about her and she said i have to get over her. Ex ended up calling me that night at 2 and we talked on the phone for a solid hour. she seemed sincere and like she actually wanted to talk to me, idk it was a good phone call. cntd
>>711654436
I knew that girls don't wear low cut dresses and matching lingerie to 'hang out' with friends
But those friends slowly started become exclusively male
>>711655208
Keep going, I'm listening
>>711655208
sorry for the long rant i just have to get it all out now
then it all changed
i got pissed. started unfollowing her on social media. she noticed and got pissed, i didnt care, ill post the messages in a minute. i started having the most amazing angry workouts. i was mad at her. i was mad i wasted my life and i was mad at what she made me into, and i was realizing she was just stringing me along so she could have a fallback on a safe guy while she was at college fucking other men. i was livid
>>711655591
getting kicked out of the library soon and need to go home, so ill be awol for about 20 min, keep the thread alive please im not done
>>711655535
thank you
>>711655825
this is from when i blocked her on snapchat, because she was still looking at all my stories even though i unfriended her
>>711655905
this is from when i had to drive a brother back to his hometown which, coincidentally, is her hometown (pledge rn ill explain in a bit)
>>711656110
>>711656153
brb
bump, keep this alive pls
>>711654346
How do females say stuff like this then act like they don't care at all a month later? Fuck it hurts so much I just want to die.
When we admitted we were in love with each other, I saw the good side of everything. I got a nice job so I can have some savings when I was going to move. I started dieting so I wasn't a fat fuck my whole life. I would catch myself genuinely smiling through the day just because I thought of her. I was happy. Now I'm just depressed again. I hate work. I almost want to quit everyday. I have no motivation to do anything anymore.
Hello all, I just bought me a glock 23. I am excited to announce that I have made some plans to pay off my debt, write a will and call it a life. I have been an asshole for 26 years on this planet.
I have a great job yet still live with my mother. I have an almost completely paid off car, I have a few people that care for me, and I have an easy life. Still those haves aren't bad. I have a damaged penis (short one at that only 4 to 5), weight 290lbs, have acne like a 12 yr old(horrid scars and marks on my face and body), and the thing I did have was a sweet woman who loved me for my personality that didn't look half way. Oh well, really fucked the bag on that one. Now after dating I have yet to find one as good as her.
I have lost capability of having emotions except guilt and regret.
>>711649751
>I hope you all are having a good night, too.
We wouldn't be in this thread if we were.
>>711639912
Overall pretty good. Life is on the upswing finally, after a long, long period of shittiness. This is the best I've felt maybe ever. Still things to work on for sure but for the first time since i can remember that seems like something i want to do.
Still, sometimes i can't help but feel like, because I'm finally starting to feel happy, something shitty is bound to happen and tear it all down though. Hopefully that will fade, i just have to get used to life being actually OK.
>>711656371
Keep looking man and find a job that is really rewarding. Who fucking cares that you live with your mom, you're not a neet.
Good and bad. Good because I finally got a job, but bad because it will take forever to bounce back. I have been unemployed for 3 months and I barely eat. I just got back from digging through every dumpster in the area with no success, not even stale bread. I was rejected for unemployment, social security disability, and food stamps.
im starting to lose myself with anxiety and depression and there this girl that Im helping on her life but shit,I need to save her, but who's gonna save me? Im scared, I really need a hug right now
>>711656371
Cant know what thingd are like for you, but make sure you're sure.
Bump
>>711654346
That sucks man.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you invest all those eggs to the one basket and you lose it, you take a huge loss all at once.
If you put your eggs in various baskets, if you lose one, it's not as bad!
I love to do this all the time. Be serious and critical of yourself and write a list of what you like to do, what you're good at, and what you don't like to do, and what you're not so good at.
Right now is a time for you to refind yourself. It's almost cliche at this point that men go through this emasculation after loving a girl.
>>711656512
I have a great job. I make 55k a year with all the work I pick up. Not superman money but it really is a good one. I have yet to move out just because I am used to the company but in reality I am quite harmful by myself. I lived with my ex for 6 months and we were together for a year. Still I have yet to find one that was as complete of a package as her. Okay looking, sweet, and always supported me emotionally.
I loved that woman but she had seizures and was partially crazy. I regret letting her go, I had a chance to get back with her but I blew that as well. Now she is engaged and about to have a baby... Fun times!
>>711656671
If I could, I would give you one. Try and find someone you can confide in, if you're comfortable with it, a therapist can help a lot if you let them.
>>711656917
>>711654856
You have to try and not compare every girl to her. I'm still not over 'her', but if I still compared everyone to her, I would never have even tried to move on.
>>711656179
awe bro your bitch is in Richmond?
Look, all these VA bitches are dramatic af because there's nothing else to do
Stop being a fuckin cuck. All that back and forth shit? You already fucked up with that shit. Bitches love playing games and she can't play if you don't join in.
It's one bitch and I guarantee you if you get your shit together and actually start acting like your regular self, you'll find someone BETTER than her.
If a woman has treated you like this, with the utter lack of respect, there WILL be a better woman along the way.
>>711654856
Yeah. You're right. Life becomes such a monotone process which I can deal with. Held down my work and finances, never got myself into shitty situations, but I still have a lot of drinking problems I have to work out before even kidding myself in finding a decent girl.
>>711656945
I've tried and that's the part I hate the most, All of my friends are never there for me when I'm down even though I have,one of them even tried to push me to suicide, I barely see a reason to live, but I want to leave this life so bad, I Just.. I cant handle this myself
When I feel down I usually listen to this. Hope you guys can find it calming too
https://youtu.be/OUkkaqSNduU
>>711657427
trust me, there is someone better.
Get your shit straight first bro
>>711650408
what a stupid fucking thing to say, you have to sit down an extra time
>>711654271
Hey man, how are you feeling? I think I'm in the same boat as you. Depressed as fuck, haven't been to classes in two weeks. I only leave my room to eat or go smoke weed in the woods with the other stoners.
I wish I wasn't such a waste of potential
>>711657584
I feel you
>>711657584
LITERALLY haven't been to classes in 2 weeks either.
Senior year and I still don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
Bump
>>711655208
Nope. I'll see her again when I move back home. I'm at school now and last I heard she's a barista at a starbucks.
If I by chance run in to her, I'm going to be very happy to see her and show her "heyy! It's been years! Oh you know, I work with nanotechnology.. yeah.. Oh starbucks? That's ehh.. hey good for you"
I figure I'll get some satisfaction from that. Besides that, nothing but smiles, hugs, and positive reminiscing. I've heard that these long-lost love things usually turn into an accelerated honeymoon phase where you guys end up getting bored with fucking each other and then that's it.
I dunno if I'm gonna dabble in that just for my own self-respect.
>>711657429
do they know how you feel? If they do, they're insensitive pricks. Your 'friend' who tried to convince you to kill yourself is not a friend. I've failed to a few times, and if I didn't have people that cared about me I would have succeeded. I have troubling finding a reason to keep going too, but I promise there will always be something.
You have value even if you don't think anyone cares.
>>711656889
That's what I'm planning. I'm still leaving here in January. I'm in the process of converting my van into a home. I just bought 4oz of shrooms. I'm going off reservation for a month or two and just discovering myself and what I want in life now.
>>711657663
I've always hated my parents for being so overprotective of me and caring too much, but man I fucking lost it when my parents started being concerned about me instead of angry at me for fucking up (like they always are). I can't bring myself to do anything without being reminded of how much of a failure I am
>>711655591
vent as much as you need to, bro. im listening
>>711643264
if its you playing / singing, good job anon
>>711651880
https://youtu.be/3r_w3tGLzcc
>>711656179
nvm i found a spot. anyways
life has been better since she left. I've been happier, friend convinced me to rush a fraternity and i got a bid
>inb4 muh frats
its a lot of fun, the guys are great and arent complete asshats like a lot of other fraternities on campus, mainly why i liked them so much and said fuck it and rushed. the guys in it are great and really supportive, the hazing sucks but the parties are something else and ive grown to really like everybody. she also hates frats and greek life in general
pic related is me, its from last year but its the only one i have on my laptop. posting it because i want to say im not beta as fuck and some little shit bitching, but for some reason. this fucking girl fucked me mentally and made me a crying little bitch and i fucking hated it, so glad shes out of my life she was complete cancer
im trying to talk to another girl right now, idk if theres a relationship in the future. i hope so, it would be nice to have a steady gf and i really like her, but shes a freshman and not sure if she wants to be tied down just yet
i thought i was mostly over her, but ive been in a shitty mood because idk what this new girl wants and then just seeing her new twitter avi made me want to come to this baw thread and post
thanks for listening guys, thats my story. ill be here in the thread to answer questions and talk still. love you /b/
>>711657541
unrelated, Flume's newer stuff is so good. You should check out this too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj6qkx5Gb2Q
>>711655825
Will do my nigger
I don't know why, but all I do is push people away from my life, people want to help, but I just can't stand their faces when they look at me as if I was this wounded animal, I prefer the company of people that are at least a little as broken as me, they accept me, and even if I know that that won't help me overcome my numbness... I still can't accept an "I love you", "You're worth it"... it sounds like a really bad joke every time that someone says that... I think I'm just tired of people and tired of trying to put my pieces together, I'll just try to get by, get wasted, have sex, get high and play video games until I die.
>>711658217
Thanks for sharing man. <3
>>711656746
Ehh I am pretty sure. I have been with other women and they all have complained and pretty much seated me as a cuckold. One woman I slept with right actually got quite upset after sex and started sobbing and I asked what was wrong? She said that "this relationship will never work because I can never please her sexually". I have had another woman tell me everything was great and fine, yet I went out drinking with her and her friends and when she went to the bathroom her friends told me that my gf said "pussy eating can get you so far" and that she wanted a "butcher" to neing the meat. I remember leaving her that night and she called me crying telling me she cheated on me. Neato stuff! Another one told me that dick size doesn't matter because she loved me but when I put it on her she would start sighing and yawning, this one actually fell asleep. The last woman didn't evem want to fuck, I tried really hard to get intimate and she told me after dating for 2 months that I was a nice guy but she couldn't see us. I pressed her and she said I was just a good meal ticket.
>>711657754
Wow, I can hardly make it through my freshman year and you've made it through four. Good job, my dude.
Honestly, all I need is a good friend or gf to talk to all the time because of my co-dependency issues, but unfortunately co-dependency is not attractive at all- even to a friend.
>>711657865
They know how I feel and sometimed They Just say, don't think of it, like that shit is gonna help, imagine being called crazy by your own fucking parents at the agencia of 8 and getting mental issues that you know that if someone know They Will try to avoid you or Will call you crazy, I try to find a way to fight my own mind but when I try Im nothing but a mere witness of my suffering and Im obligated to watch my body Hurt itself, do you know how it feels? I really need someone to trust, Im shaking right now, I really need someone to hug at this moment, I'd hug my parents but I cant trust them my feelings with them, not again
>>711658224
It says that the video is unavailable. Is it on Spotify? (on my phone rn)
>>711658217
>IMG_1337.jpg
wow. what a complete fag.
>>711658351
You sound like a pretty chill guy, I'd hang out with you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrO9PTpuSSs
Give it a listen guys, always helps me out
>>711658351
I get where you're coming from. The only people I've ever confided in were ones who I felt had the same issues as me, because they would understand. But since then I've realized that even if someone doesn't understand, that doesn't mean they don't care.
My best friend of 11 years has never had any sort of mental issue, no need for medication, nothing. But he's stuck by me no matter what, even after I told him about my mental problems.
It may not be that they're trying to coddle you.
It may be that they're trying to show you that they care about you, but don't know how.
>>711656232
Girls like to play games. See how much they can get out of you before they get bored.
On the hating your job thing, you're going about that right. Save your money up and go back to school. Do something you LOVE.
>>711639912
The woman I love and vowed my life to no longer feels joy in physical intimacy. She sees it more as a chore than anything else. I feel a genuine hole in my heart and soul.
Yesterday I took ecstasy on my own because I was considering suicide :(
>>711639912
Every second I'm alive is another eternity in hell
>>711657384
yeah, she was looking at my school and VCU, thank god she didnt come here or else i probably would still be her bitch. so much fucking truth in your post, and i was aware of all of it, but i just didnt care anymore and was cucked nonetheless. i finally wised up a couple months ago and cut her out. fuck VA women. i know i fucked up bad. i will always regret that
>>711658059
>>711658337
>>711658413
thanks guys, ill post pics of her too if you want shes hot af
>>711657789
good for you. i dont know if i can ever get to that point with her, i was seriously trying at one point but like i said, she wanted to play games so i cut her out.
if i run into her or by any chance see her on the street id probaby do a 360 and walk away, nothing more can be said, and i really dont want to hear anything she has to tell me.
mad respect to you though, youre a stronger man than i
but for now im content to shitpost on /b/ and other boards. got a fat lip in, took some vyvanse and will be up all night studying
>>711658466
Take it from someone who did fuck up.
Whatever you're doing now, just stop. Get up, go to class, do hw, study. That shit is easy. Literally easiest thing you ever have to do and if you fuck yourself now early you're gonna set yourself back.
You find who you truly are in the mundanity of life, don't be afraid to have internal conversations with yourself
>>711656477
Good for you, /b/ro, enjoy the good times! there's always gonna be more bad ones, but there's always gonna be more good ones too! As in life.
>>711658466
That's what's great about sites like 4chan. you've got people who are willing to listen and try to give advice. If you've got no one to talk to, just come here and find a thread.
>>711658853
Dude I wanna take ecstasy with someone
>>711658963
It's pretty great if you have someone to cuddle. Or just talk to while you're on it.
Started to develop feelings for a female friend. I haven't asked her out yet because she's the only close friend I have, being an introvert with godawful social skills and I didn't want to risk losing that. I think I'm just going to go for it tomorrow because I can't stand being around her any more. Wish me luck, /b/ros.
>>711658025
My parents are also overprotective, but They usually remark every mistake I do and They go really mad at Me, every thing I do makes me remind myself how much of a waiste of talent I am, I know Im a failure, I wonder why do I still try to look fot a reason to live
>>711639912
Feeling pretty good tbh, MAGA.
>>711658853
Haven't had it myself but I'm guessing the comedown didn't help your suicidal thoughts
>>711657221
OOh fuck that happened to me too. I had the "taste" thing. Honestly, I probably still have it. I gotta find me brown or asian girl lol.
>>711658568
They just don't understand what it's like. They don't know what to do that can help. But you don't really know how anyone will react to what you have to say. Try to find someone you can trust to talk to about it, even if it's just a stranger on the internet.
>>711657221
I actually don't. I have dated poor/rich women, single mothers, black chicks. All different backgrounds but my big thing that has come to a head is the fact that I am trash at Sex.
If I were to go with the "her" standard. She was the only one who wasn't completely miserable during sex. Actually maybe faking it the best as far as I could tell, shaking and squirting. Amazing times but sex aside, me and her were polar opposites but were loved each other.
>>711658351
>>711658761
>It may be that they're trying to show you that they care about you, but don't know how.
People have many different ways of expressing gratitude and appreciation. They may be showing that they care, but only in a way they'd understand and you wouldn't understand.
Please watch if you're "depressed"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzvT0vy5cjE
>>711658619
don't know why it's not working. Bad Blood by NAO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj6qkx5Gb2Q
>>711658761
It hurts man, they try to make parties for you, they try hard to make you smile for reals, but they can see a glance of the face under the mask and see how fake is that smile, and they still try and try... Makes me feel guilty the fact that I cannot feel a thing about them, and it becomes annoying that they keep trying, when all you want is peace and keep your feeling at bay.
>>711659190
The idea of being socially rejected by saying how I feel it's killing me, I really try to express it but My mind just hurts me when I try
All I wanna fucking do with my life is smoke weed with 4 specific friends while listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdwciDUPyvw anywhere away from any responsibilities. What's the point of life when you're not having a good time? That's literally what we all are striving for, am I right? We go to college to get a good job to make money to better our lives. What if none of that seems appealing?
>>711657575
I'm assuming you see this half-empty as well
>>711656671
we'll save you anon. I need a hug too. i cant give you one but heres a (You) instead. next best thing
>>711659048
You got it man. Even if she says no, you can still be friends with her.
>>711659421
Doesn't matter, it needs to be washed at some point.
>>711659465
Thanks man,but now thoughs got worse with time
>>711657961
Phh shit, I might join you. That's a good plan. Go for it, anon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYX87kkyubk
>>711658025
What are you good at?
>>711659567
I'm just worried that that may not be the case. I've seen friendships go south after similar situations.
>>711659342
I can understand that. I find that the times I'm happiest with others is when I just stop worrying about how I'm feeling and ignore it. If you're with people you want to be around, you've have a lot more fun than you'd think.
>>711658351
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_dT7jttd0s
4chan has been my only outlet lately. You're all pretty great sometimes and I enjoy being here.
Have been in a relationship with the best girl I have ever met for the last 6 months. She was perfect for me. Now yesterday yesterday she broke up with me suddenly because she just doesn't love me anymore and she wants to be alone.
I just want her back I have never felt so empty
>>711659640
*but know things get?
whats everybody listening to tonight?
http://listenonrepeat.com/?v=VGIb6ygT4LE#Jay-Z_%E2%80%8E--_Dead_Presidents_(Instrumental)_HQ
My gf of 4 years broke up and blocked me on every thing two months ago. I feel like complete shit and I want to move on but I just can't.
>>711659405
I don't know how well I can relate. But if you're afraid of being rejected socially, try saying it to someone or something that you know won't make a difference.
You can say it to someone online, a stuffed toy, even into a mirror. But you've gotta start somewhere.
>>711659903
Sorry * I've been thinking of worse thing and at this point, Im considering suicide
>>711658217
Thanks for sharing, bro.
I don't understand the whole "men aren't supposed to have emotions" shit. I think a man showing emotion is as human as you can get. You'll make it through and a new girl will come along. You're in shape, doing your thing, you'll get happy again.
WATCH THE DRINKING.
Time will heal. Sounds like you're more than capable of bouncing back. Put down that shovel and start climbing out.
>>711659342
>>711658761
>The only people I've ever confided in were ones who I felt had the same issues as me
i think thats mainly why we're all here on /b/, nobody else is really like us so no matter how much they think theyre there for us
> they try to make parties for you
i never understood this. when im down i dont need a party, i need somebody to talk to
>>711659775
How well do you know her? Do you think that's something that would happen between the two of you?
I'd say try not to overthink it too much, you'll only end up causing more worry, which doesn't help the situation.
>>711659981
I'm going to follow the advice, I just dont know when or where to start
I can say that I absolutely love the fact that penis size and my looks have destroyed my relationships. I grew up with a woman who talked about "Oh looks don't matter, your personality will win the day!" Then in the teenage years "Oh a woman will find you handsome, but the personality will keep a woman!" Then in my college years "Oh women want a nice, sweet caring guy! Personality!"
Now in reality what I ended up getting from woman was... "wow what an ugly kid." Then in my teenage years "Eww acne face, why does he try to be funny?" Then in my college years "Lol you're sweet but you're not my type" Now right after my college years I hear from women "Oh penis size isn't a dealbreaker but it helps!"
I am in an internal hell. I hate this generation that I am apart of. I am almost 30 and all I see are single mothers and bitchy women.
>>711642906
Move.
Go to the west coast.
Hit Portland.
Lot of feels people out there who believe bs sob stories.
Eat from food stamps (easy as fuck to get)
Soup kitchens, free food boxes, treehouse and Third and Stark. Be a street kid for a little bit until you land a job.
Lots of shitty people there, so jobs are easy to come by if you can play the part.
Mainly, if you can't make it where you are, get up off your ass and move where you can.
Just cause you have built a fucking comfortable lifestyle and are used to it, doesn't mean you can't live below what you are used to.
Survival is easier than you think.
Don't be a bitch and complain about menial bullshit.
Change your shit.
Or move to somewhere closer if you are scared.
Try Moral.
Hitting church every Sunday should be enough to get you sympathy oportunities.
>>711658429
Wow. Cuck'd hard bro. Sorry to hear that.
By the sounds of her friends, they're probably party girls. Dating party girls is a big no-no unless you're into gigantic whores.
If she calls you crying because she cheated, that'd be the time to say okay. Sorry but this isn't going to work.
>>711660166
All of us are different people, but we do share a lot in common.
I can't handle group situations because they create an overwhelming social scenario. Which is why I prefer talking to people one on one. But I've gotten better at talking to others because I know people may not understand, but they can still care. If you know who your real friends are you have nothing to worry about telling them.
>>711642906
yo what up my cincinnati nigga
I don't know who I am anymore
>>711660239
Anything that feels comfortable for you. You could even open up a word document and write out what you want to say.
You should start as soon as you can. I think if you start by saying it to no one, it will make it easier to say to people.
>>711658871
sure, post em
>>711660639
I relate so much to that
>>711659729
All I know is that I love math and I want to help people, but how can I help people if I can't help myself?
I can't find a reason to sit down and do my work when my life isn't perfect- there's always something else I could be doing; the work I am doing is virtually meaningless; and/or I can't see far enough into the future for my work to benefit me. Even though, logically, I can come to the conclusion that doing my work and actually participating in life will lead me to having a better life in the end, I just can't bring myself to overcome my anxiety to actually do my work
>>711660083
dont commit suicide. it may seem appealing but thats just a meme. whats going on in your life that makes you want to die?
>>711660164
>I don't understand the whole "men aren't supposed to have emotions
everybody thinks that what it is, but thats not quite true
men are supposed to be in control of their emotions, thats what makes us men and not women. unfortunately, this girl for some reason made me lose control over mine. im good now though
ive cut back on drinking, only on the weekends at parties/ day drinks/ chilling with bros (granted my tolerance is still through the roof). never again will i be as bad as i was in those couple weeks leading up to school when she left me. but youre right, nothing is more human than a man showing emotions. my problem is i need a good girl who can listen to me and be there for me, not just another sorority slut
i still have a little while before i "bounce back" completely so to say, im a pledge haha so this semester is dedicated to my fraternity. havent been lifting as much, or have had much time to work on myself as a person
im glad i did it though, if i hadnt id just be stewing in my emotions alone in my room rn. That was my main problem tbh, i was just so alone. I made her my life, so when she left i didnt know how to function
>>711660639
can you elaborate my dude? cuz I'm pretty sure me too
>>711658871
I get the feeling you'll reach a point where you're happy and adjusted enough to have a healthy encounter with her, where you come out on top and she realizes what she let go; and it won't bother you one bit. You'll walk away smiling and she'll stand there feeling sorry for herself.
But let it happen randomly.
>>711660083
Take it from someone who's failed to kill themselves. I felt like an idiot for even trying to do it. After it happened I realized what kept me from doing it and I chose to keep living for those things, and I've been finding more reasons to not do it since then.
>>711660667
Dude..Thanks honestly that idea is genious, Im going to try it but I must Thank you for it, your words helped me on surviving another day and I was on the death line minutes ago, thank you so much
>>711658886
100% this
Put the time in, do your work at school, and you'll do well. I'm doing that right now. I hate it and wake up everyday wishing I was just getting home so I could go to bed. But nope. Developed a second voice in my head that says "uh uh uh, anon. You are getting up. You are going to class. You are going to have a good day". I'm usually right, too.
>>711660445
Yeah I have resigned trying anymore. Women have their games. In reality I know I am no more use to a woman than being a wallet. I have dated around and got mulitple types of women and been with them, being fat and all that doesn't hurt my confidence but the reality of having a small cock doesn't do me any favors.
In reality women have the choice of the field. Imagine men are bongos in the congo and women are Lions. Some men have the big spares and the nets to get a strong lion, some men are weak and have small rocks and whips, then there are some men who have nothing but their bare hands. Men are the hunters and if they can't hunt the lions either kill or ignore the hunt. Lions can always eat, they can take the hunt to the bongos.
>>711651808
>have a gf 5 years ago (fking 16yo back then)
>break up after 3 months
>never had such feelings
>on/off, allways one of us comes back
>allways have a feeling this time it will work
>it wont
>last time she writes "fuck off anon, i dont want to see you ever again"
>fine, bye
fast forward half a year
>my birthday
>"happy birthday anon"
>my ex
>why.jpeg
>have a little chat, then we both stop texting for months
>june this year
>just arrived at lissboa airport. finally hollidays
>"hey anon, whats up"
>ex again
>why does that keep happening?
>try to stay cold, only short answers
>really tired
>she doesnt give up
>meet up eventually
>stay at her place a whole night, dont sleep, eventhough i work the next time
>hella fun
>thosefeelingsagain
>meet up regulary, we both enjoy the time
>after 3 months of regular meetings i ask her out if she´d like to try it again
>imsodumb.jpeg
>"anon i dont know what im feeling. i first have to be clear who i am, my last bf really fked me up"
>"ok then, ill give you all the time you need"
>tell ourselfs that it wont get strange, that we keep doing what we did
>it gets strange
>she gets ice cold
>doesnt even greet me when i come to her place
>doesnt text me, chats back only with really short answers
>fking hurts every time but im sure she is the girl
>after weeks of coldness i stop texting. getting cold myself
>"wtf anon why are you so strange. you dont text me or only answer with short phrases"
>srsly?
>have a argument via whatsapp
>"what do you think, that everything was fun the past years? you think you are the only one who sufferd?"
>"we need to talk, anon"
gonna meet her tomorrow. i cant handle shit like that, wish i would stop feeling anything and just could live a happy life without such problems.
>inb4 beta
>>711660299
>>711642906
ehh i wouldnt recommend moving. at least not to portland. northwest would be a good choice though, somewhere rural though. i find getting out in nature to go hiking helps calm me. maybe its just the physical part though, why i like lifting
>>711660513
what do you mean overwhelming social scenario? not trying to be a dick just trying to understand. I was beta for the longest time and finally managed to overcome it, maybe i can help you
>>711658933
For sure
>>711661018
That's what we're here for. This thread is for all of us to be there for each other. Remember that next time you feel this bad. You can come back here, and there are people for you.
I'm 31, recently divorced, and on 4chan, sooooo
>>711659048
Never know unless you try. Tell her exactly how you feel right from your heart.
>>711660869
I basically spent most of my life believing I was the weird kid, terrible depression, social anxiety, almost never left my house after I graduated, turns out I was the coolest kid in highschool by some miracle and now I'm having an existential crisis... I spent so long trying to be someone else, I've just become this mashup of personality traits and I'm spiraling out of control
>>711661018
The other guy offering you advice is very right. I used to open up word docs/notepads all the time to write out my troubles- literally I would just start writing out my feelings on the page and they would start to form some sort of conclusion. I think it helps to get it down in front of you rather than stuck up in your brain confusing you
>>711660809
Parents are constantly reminding me how much of a waiste of life I am, I lost many friends, panic atacks and anxiety with depression are part of my daily routine, I feel like shit every single second Im alive
>>711659268
This is insulting.
I don't "Choose" to be depressed, I don't like being like this, I don't go around and tell people how I feel, all I do is to try to get by day by day and not to cause some drama or anything that gives me any stupid excuse to kill myself.
>>711661101
I'm not beta, but I had a lot of preconceived notions about how people act in group situations.
Basically, I felt that the only way I could genuinely connect with someone was to talk with that one person with no one else around. I still value those times, but I've been able to be in group situations without overthinking it since then.
Let me know if that still doesn't make sense
>>711660895
hopefully. idk, that will be far off in the future. one of the things she said to me after she dumped me was that "I had so much potential and would do great things in life" which made me think two things
1. why didnt you ever say supportive shit like that to me when we were together why are you saying that now
and 2. fuck potential, let me show you what kinetic is
one of my drives right now is my hatred of her and the desire to better myself so years down the road when i finally make it she'll feel like shit
which is probably unhealthy, i should change that. but its working for now
>>711661011
I have tried and failed to, I regret the fact that I didnt talk about it until now
Fuck.
Stop your whining and just kill yourselves already.
>>711659850
Same bro. Glad you're here.
>>711661476
if you don't like it, go to a different thread, shitlord
>>711661148
Thank you so so much anon, you saved someone's life today
>>711661475
well I'm glad you told someone at least. It's better than keeping it bottled up
>>711661293
That is exactly how I feel, Its nice to know theres someone out there like yourself
>>711661635
godspeed in your future efforts anon. Remember, 4chan cares
>>711661086
sounds what i went through, although over a longer period of time and with more adult shit since youre older. my recommendation would be to cut her out completely, but you do you. good luck when you meet her, i want to see you on here tomorrow night so we can know how it went.
>>711661303
your parents are shit im sorry. why do they say youre a waste of life
>>711661392
yeah makes sense. could you explain when preconceived notions you had?
I'm so sad, and I'm so lonely. But I don't want to die yet because I am so attached to objects that I have wasted my money on. I don't want to go back to thinking that killing myself would be ok. But I'm just so lonely, I don't have friends that I'm close to anymore. The closest friend I've ever had moved away to college which is 1.5 hours out and I don't see him often. I need more weed but I just purchased a 240SX and all my money is gone. Everyone tells me that having a girlfriend is a huge headache, but I've never had one so I really want to know what its like for female companionship.
>>711661293
>turns out I was the coolest kid in highschool by some miracle
How do you suddenly turn out to be the coolest kid in your highschool? Sounds like something you would've noticed, what with all of the attention you would be getting. (just genuinely confused, I'm not saying you're lying)
>I spent so long trying to be someone else, I've just become this mashup of personality traits
Believe it or not, that "mashup of personality traits" is basically what every human being is. You just need to own what you are. You are the collection of your past experiences and your reactions to them.
>>711661295
Im going to try it anon,I just wonder to what conclution Ill get
>>711661602
dont reply to the normies anon, theyre only here to ruin the fun. these threads are for us. everybody needs a good baww thread at some point, and if youre not in that mood then you just look down at all the anons here
>>711661409
A lot of girls in this time are sociopaths. As extreme as that sounds, it's true. All that affects them is what is directly related with them. Don't let that Bitch fuck with your head. Move along and know you have more empathy in you than she'll ever be capable of.
It's not really her fault, but more than that, it's not your fault or responsibility.
>>711661651
And thank you for being here
like i have a mountain of work to do and only a couple months to do it :o
>>711639912
I found out I got cucked by an azn last week
>>711661760
I felt that people were disingenuous in group settings. They would 'put on an act' to try and stand out. I came to realize that I would do the same sometimes, and that it just can't be helped when others do it.
Which is why I enjoy spending time with others one on one. That other people can be as honest with me as they want to be, and it makes me happy to see that.
>>711661754
Thanks, i'll keep you words and advice in mind
>>711661891
Sorry about that mate, sometimes it gets to me
>>711660747
>how can i help people if i can't help myself?
This is a big step. That's great that you realize this. How can you help yourself be the man you want to be? Shit, I know lots of engineers and shit from work and they're all happily married, engaged etc. When I talked to the instrumentation guy about it, he said it just comes to you. You just meet her and it happens. Women want a man going places and with something to offer. How can you become that man? Work at it.
For me it's exams. I get really bad anxiety and fuck it all up. Work i'd spent hours and hours and hours sharpening up on. Then I get the exam back, can't believe the answers i put because they're so wrong.. ugh. Can't win.
>>711661815
I moved away to try and start fresh. When I moved back I got a job at a local gas station and every time someone from school comes in they talk about how cool I was. I guess I was just so convinced I was a piece of shit, I didn't realize people didn't hate me
I dont want to own any of this. I hate who I am. I hate everything I am and I don't know why.
Everyone always brags about how cool my videos are and hit like that but I just cant see any good in anything that I am or do.
Tried to kill myself too many times to count and I couldn't even get that right. Every day is a fucking nightmare trapped in my own hatred of myself and I just can't escape
>>711661793
where do you live? got a steam account?
>>711661951
thanks anon. i needed to hear that. i guess a little part of me just doesnt want it to be over, or that it didnt end like this
>>711662036
some people do. dont associate yourselves with those people. ill just say, that at parties, when you can meet people, nobody is more themselves or more honest to you thank drunk people
>>711661760
I fucked up so many times that my parents just decided to lose faith in me so They Will just atack me whenever They can, do They care? No., and yes, my parents are shit
>>711661760
i had her of my mind when i went to lissboa and i really enjoyed my time but now shes back. and i think i love her and i want her but after all that shit we went through im not sure it would be a good idea.
will make a thread tomorrow if i dont forget it.
i acctually want to cut it. time will tell if i have to balls to do that.
>>711661823
Well for me, the conclusion hardly matters because half the battle is actually coming to a conclusion. Due to my crippling avoidance anxiety, I run away from my problems until they blow up in my face. Then I run away from the aftermath. Writing shit down and coming to a conclusion helps me to keep the problem from blowing up in my face too much- however, I have been avoiding my current problem so much I have also been avoiding fixing it as of right now.
>>711661101
Yeah, maybe not for everyone, that's for sure. Although I get the impression you say not PDX because you live there and you're tired of all the expats and Californian influx. Which I understand. However, it's really easy to be alive there with not much effort.
>>711660809
You're on the right track. Sounds like you have a very healthy plan of moving on. You will do it! Keep reminding yourself of all the positives to be grateful for.
>>711662113
me too, but ive found that if you reply to them the thread just devolves from feels and venting to faggots telling everybody to man up
>>711662195
what did you fuck up
>>711662206
if you do bail on her, block her number because all she'll is bitch at you
speaking of threads, when do yall want to make a new one?
>>711661793
I understand you completely,
I had 4 really good friends that in the past few months have replaced me with other people
Now I have no one
Just a couple people I talk to here and there...
>>711661071
Such is life; and life is unfair
>>711641775
where the fuck are you where you can get internet but not to a place that serves food? tf?
>>711641775
Goodluck Anon...
>>711661754
When did 4chan fall into the hole of caring?
>>711662235
That is the struggle I have everyday, now, every problem is a death thread for my mind,but Ill start writing
Here's some feels for you
>Be 21
>Meet amazing 29 year old woman
>She's smart as hell
>Was in Marine Corps
>Deisel/Steam/Gas Turbine Engineer
>Impressed by work ethics
>Absolutely beautiful
>We date for a while
>Most amazing sex of my life
>Fall in love with her
>She gets pregnant
>She becomes difficult to be around
>Was the most supportive mother fucker (literally) the whole pregnancy
>Was there for birth
>She somehow hates me
>Fall in love with son
>Had plans to move in together
>Get a job overseas to pay for her to get better after difficult pregnancy
>She gets all my paychecks
>She suddenly takes all my money and cancels plans to move in together
>She gets engineering job in Hawaii
>SOFUCKINGEXPENSIVE.MPG
>She makes 6 times my wage
>Moved there to make sure I can't afford to be around him
Skip forward a bit
>3 days ago
>I had pretty much accepted my situation
>Work from home and send paychecks
>Get 5 minute skype per week with my son
>Things looking up
>Suddenly gossip gets out that she's dating a guy and that guy has been around my son more than I ever have
>Rekt internally
>Trying so hard not to be a deadbeat dad
>Try not to cry
>Cry a lot
>Family says "She might treat you like shit but she allows us to see him as often as we want, anon.
>"if you let your emotions get in the way and say anything brash she might cut us off as well."
So I've spent the last 2 years saying everything is gonna be okay, but it's not.
>>711662315
haha nah man i live in VA, read the rest of my posts. i just have a sister who lives on the west coast and i think everybody in the cities out there are insane. who knows, maybe its for you. plus expensive
>>711662322
thanks anon, you sound like my mom and it feels good. my goal for now is to build myself into a man worthy of the girl i want. i know ill find her out there somewhere
>>711662182
I've learned who those people are and cut them out. And I gotta say, I love seeing my friends get drunk and try to tell me they care
"Peter, these are the years when a man changes into the man he's gonna become for the rest of his life."-Uncle Ben "
>>711662378
I fucked friendships,studies, relationships on my family, Work, everything
>>711662044
>>711661960
>>711655905
>>711658871
>>711659342
>>711659775
>>711661018
>>711661635
>>711661960
>>711662044
To any and all of you who I had the pleasure of talking to, you guys are great. I'm leaving early tonight. Until the next thread.
>>711662142
>How can you help yourself be the man you want to be?
Literally I had hit an all-time low in my life some time around May-June, which caused me to ask myself exactly this kind of question. I changed my values and beliefs so fucking much, and I changed so much about myself to gain self-confidence and be a better person, but somehow, in the past few weeks, I had deconstructed everything I had worked towards. All of the effort I had put in to fixing myself has mostly disappeared and I am now depressed. I can't bring myself to do anything except eat, sleep, and smoke weed/dick around on my computer to distract myself from the reality that is setting in around me.
My avoidance anxiety prevents me from actually dealing with my problems for weeks (and sometimes months) past the point of no return. This causes me to lose out on a lot and to royally fuck up a lot of my relationships and academics.
It comes to a point where I can't even think about getting started on doing the smallest amount of work without my chest tightening, my head shrinking, my heart pounding, and my body getting uncomfortably hot. I'm a fucking mess and I don't know how to fix myself.
Literally the only reason I have convinced myself not to kill myself is because of the way it would affect the people who still actually care about me.
>>711661409
Whatever is working for you, I'd let yourself be a bit selfish or "immoral"
I know spitefulness isn't healthy, but there's a great satisfaction in knowing you've succeeded. Don't rub it in her face, but certainly let her know that you became strong and successful despite her.
>>711662150
But Anon, why do you hate yourself ?
Life is shit
I swear to god there's this one girl who I am constantly giving pickup lines to and she just says "Oh, haha" And acts all embarrassed. She completely blocks out the fact that I like her. For fucks sake these bitches are thick-headed.
>>711662182
Stuff like that valentine card i burned in my backyard along with a bunch of other shit.
>>711662994
Being transgender doesn't help. And before I get a bunch of shit, I hate transgender people. The vast majority are angry little asshats who just want to cause trouble.
I dont know, I've just gone through a lot of shit. My whole life has just been one big joke and I just feel like I shouldn't be a thing that exists.
>>711662555
checked. is this your first baw thread m8? its been like this for a long long time
>>711662584
will read in a minute, i do have to study after all
>>711663195
From my experience, I see this going one of two ways:
1. She is shy and doesn't know how to respond
2. She realizes what you are doing and is trying to let you save face by pretending to not understand what you are doing
Kind of hard to be an optimist when I know that #2 is what a girl would do to me.
>>711662619
One day at a time, man. Glad I could help.
I don't really know how I feel anymore. I'm just sitting here waiting for the end
>>711662915
First off, suicide is a permanent answer to temporary problems.
You are capable of getting back on your feet as you said. You can start literally right now. Get dressed and go out for a jog. Don't worry if you can't run that long, just jog for a bit. Five minutes. I guarantee that'll make you feel good
>>711647531
mind explaining in a language you can actually speak?
We can translate it from there
Also TL;DR of life atm.
>> repairing relationship with soulmate
>> no car because was angry
>> launched my audi 100 ft across a ditch doing about 90 while drunk
>> manageably hooked on opiates but still get swings
>> trying not to be a NEET, opportunity to make 30k salary if i get my GED in the next day or two
>> IQ at 127ish, still dumb as a box of fucking rocks with school shit so probably will be basement life still
>> life is fairly decent but still a shit at 23 until i can fix this crap
anyone know where i can go to bribe a school for a GED?
>>711662717
maybe they do actually care then/ how do you know they dont?
>>711662748
how?
>>711662891
sleep tight anon
>>711662925
hell no, rubbing it in her face would be stooping to her level. the goal is to be above that
>>711663119
kek, thanks ant bro
>>711663266
i threw it out. burning it seemed like a petty thing a girl would do to me, but you do you
>>711663494
what brings you to this thread anyways?
>>711662584
why the fuck did she hate you all of a sudden?
>>711663712
why the fuck do you not have your GED?
>>711663345
I'm actually struggling internally with whether I am trans or not, which leads me to question my own sense of self.
However, just to understand you a little better- are you mtf/ftm, pre/post-op? Or even accepting at all of the fact that you are trans?
>My whole life has just been one big joke and I just feel like I shouldn't be a thing that exists.
I can easily relate to those feels. I feel so out of place in my life right now. It seems as though nobody cares for me. Or if they do, they don't actually give enough of a shit to care that much about me. After all, if anyone cared that much about me then I wouldn't be here, talking to strangers on a message board on the internet, right?
>>711649999
someone honor the quads damnit
>>711663770
She would frequently verbally abuse me and there was a point in time where I just couldn't take it anymore, so I defended myself by rationally arguing that the way she was treating me was wrong. She just didn't like hearing that. Hormones during pregnancy probably didn't help.
>>711662584
shit man, thats cold. All I can give you is my condolences
>>711663678
It's 3am right now, and my roommate is in my dorm, sleeping. I would disturb/wake him if I walked in right now, so I'd rather not do that. Actually, the real reason I don't want to jog rn is that I am pretty comfy where I am and I really just don't feel like doing shit. Lastly, I wouldn't want to leave this thread, I actually am having a tiny bit of enjoyment out of genuinely talking to people for the first time in ages.
Sorry for the laundry list of defending myself. I know you're trying to help and this isn't helping much. If you really think I need to go jog, even for like 5 minutes, tell me
>>711663770
>>711652774
That one was my story.
To expand on that, I ended up dropping out of law school because I was drunk all the time.
Moved to a different part of the country and started working as a laborer for big oil. Got two yrs in to that, was making 88k a year, doing well, but hated the job.
Got blackout drunk every time I was off work. Performed great at work though and was promoted to lead hand before I knew it. I just hated the job. So monotonous. Stayed for the money, made it, and decided fuck this shit I'm giving school another go.
Now I'm doing nanotechnology. Shit's hard since I haven't been in school in a while, but pulling it off. I only think about her maybe once a week? But It's coming to the point that I'd be comfortable dating a new girl.
I'm on the ending end of the healing from a bad relationship. It's encouraging. However, I have a serious problem with alcohol. That's the next obstacle.
>>711649999
observed
>>711641775
You're from cincy? I'm in Florence and have a 3 bedroom house with 1 roomate. Prove to me you aren't a piece of shit and can hold a job I'll float you a room.
>>711663883
mtf known for years, accepted it grudgingly for years too. Pre op because I'm dirt poor living in hillbilly hell.
Came out in 2011 and people basically walled me back into the closet.
I'm borderline schizophrenic, ocd, chronic depression, anxiety so bad I lose it at the least little thing. I've punched or kicked so many holes in the wall at this point.
I work a piss poor job that treats me like shit because it's the only place that would hire me after I got fired for punching the electrical box at my last job instead of beating the manager into a bloody pulp. My boss made me mop the floor with papertowels the other day.
I'm a failure at everything I do. Tried to write a book... Couldn't finish it. Been making videos/movies since I was 9, create professional level content... Noone watches any of it... Got offered a $500,000 contract for one of my screen plays. Got depressed, never finished it, lost the deal.
At this point I'm just waiting to disappear into the silence until noone remembers me at all.
That's the worst part. No matter what I do, noone will ever remember a goddamn thing about my life.
>>711664200
Totally up to you, anon. I'm just saying that's what I did when I first started coming out of it. I'd just run and run and run. After a week of doing that I could sleep at decent hours, was hungrier, and didn't think about bs as often. Then I kept adding other routines. Just built a routine.
If you're comfy and just wanna read the thread and veg, all the power to you. Consider that jog, though. Even tomorrow.
