W-welcome back to Cooking with Alice!
Did y-you miss me, Anonymous?
Unf!
>>711396874
alice!!!
>>711396874
Hey Alice
~fred
yooooooo
Found you!
W-welcome everyone! S-shall we start with tea?
The dress is nice, but the heels are not. 4/10 wouldn't cook with
>>711396874
That looks like a gas range. Burn the doll with it.
>>711397196
What kind?
>>711396874
Hey, beautiful. How are you? Also, how's Goliath?
banana + pussy
>>711396874
>>711396874
Keep it goin, honey!
>>711396874
Those are some pretty big heels for cooking, Alice
What are you really after?
How about chai?
>>711396874
I have to ask, who did you vote for?
>>711397243
G-glad you asked! Let m-me pour you a cup and talk about it <4
>>711397378
banana + ass
>>711397482
looking great, Alice!
>>711397482
Either you spilled a drop or that video is artifacting badly.
>>711397370
I'm q-quite well, thank you <4
And goliath is angry. As always.
>>711397598
Asian moot c-cut my audio quality in half.
>>711396874
Thanks for the tea Alice, glad to see you again!
>>711397482
Lets do this.
What are we cooking today, Alice?
>>711397482
How many times do you have to do that tea pouring thing before you get a good video?
get naked
Hey Alice check em
>>711397482
how do you write and draw your faces so well with the nerve damage?
>>711397652
>audio quality
Video quality I'm sure.
>>711397800
Nigger
>>711397370
Is goliath her new BD dildo?
>>711397800
nigger
>>711397652
Maybe you should give her some Zen tea, to calm her down. :)
>>711397832
Alice has nerve damage?
That sucks. I have a friend with nerve damage, it's terrible everyday.
>>711397777
G-glad you asked! Lets g-get right into it, shall we?
Tonights m-meal is a little more complex than most, b-but can be made quickly and easily w-with low cost items as always!
and it tastes great!
>>711397482
That's honestly very cute.
Evening, Alice! Just thought I'd drop by and bump your thread!~
>>711397964
You've honestly got shit taste
>>711397832
Explain this coment yo
This is a man
No you got in the way of my masturbation ceremony.
freindly Bump~
for a nice thread
>>711397777
Nice quads. Praise be.
what is this shit
>>711397800
nigger
Sounds good alice
>>711397839
Y-yes, that too.
>>711397832
I t-take my time.
>>711397964
T-that was the plan!
>>711398030
Oh d-does he?
>>711398080
I'm OP, and I'm f-female thanks <4
>>711397936
What the fuck is that on your fridge? It's some kind of four part cycle that I can't make out.
>>711398036
see how the tea pouring was shaky?
>>711398135
You're doing a good job Alice.
>>711398127
G-glad you agree. Here is w-what you'll need to make t-this delicious tasty dinner!
>>711398030
Opinion honestly discarded, normie.
>>711398135
Can you show your tits please? I've been programming all day and am super stressed out about all the exams I have coming up. Don't do it if under 18 thanks.
>>711396874
>>711397936
Yo! Alice thread! Whats new my babe? Nice dress. You dump that fucking nasty pan yet?!
why is this turning me on?
...this can't still be happening...
>>711398228
Objection! to that discarding on the grounds that you've got shit taste.
>>711398216
Why did you type it out this time? I don't mind, just curious
>>711398257
W-whatcha been programming? I'm a programmer m-myself.
>>711398178
It's a b-betari box!
>>711398333
Almost s-six years now <4
>>711398323
L-let's see!
>>711398135
that would be quite painstaking, i would imagine, not even considering the frequency of errors?
anyway, i appreciate it! these threads are fun as fuck
>>711398216
Wheres the serves one...
>>711398203
Yep very good observation annon shit i have never notice
>>711398118
I don't know, you tell me, FunnyBones
>>711396986
Sup
>>711398450
Con>>711398394
Congrats you two
>>711397800
NIGGER JEW
>>711398216
Hey, why don't you get a mask or something? Holding a piece of paper to your face is silly and impractical.
>>711398459
....where's the love?
>>711398450
T-the lower quality imposed by the 2MB limit m-makes it hard to read, so I t-typed it <4
>>711398468
I d-do my best <4
>>711398553
B-because it looks REALLY creepy!
>>711398568
*wraps her arms around you tight* H-hello, Duo <4
>>711398216
A friend of mine killed himself today. I tried to talk him down. For about an hour. I've spent lots of time trying to help him but... I guess I couldn't.
And I know I should accept that you can't help everyone but... It's hard to really put that into practice. Because he wasn't just some person, he was my friend.
Anyway... I guess what I'm asking is, do you think that I could have a hug? I really need someone right now and I'm too proud to show it. Because I want to be strong like you.
>>711398178
>>711398553
MASKS ARE 3D!
Enough pleasantries!
F-first, you need t-to get the pasta cooking!
Break it so it f-fits in the pot....carefully.
>>711398627
Pretty neato.
>>711398627
this graph is powerful!
:o
>>711398459
Programming a simple chatbot. Using interfaces and various implementations, toying around with various ADTs... more like a play project to get my hands dirty.
Sorry for being so crass. It is a facade and I'm not really that bad of a dude or rude.
>>711398598
tfw when you're rubbing one out to her legs and shoes right now
Who is this schemin' semen demon
>>711398677
THE CAMERA MOVES! THE DOLL LIVES!!!!
>>711398677
Thats not how you do it!!! omg pls staaahp
>>711398553
>>711398598
Do you have a mask? Can we see it?
>>711398726
that's what happens when bears.
>>711398677
Yeah I'd say you broke it.
>>711398459
Has the lack of general shitheadery influenced your actions thus far, then?
Just got home from work.
Another resident died.
>>711398459
>L-let's see!
Oh, cute. You already play hard to get and give me blue balls. The least you could do is speak straight so I can go get drunk sometime before 8 damnit. I swear y... >>711398677
>dat pan in the background
>>711398459
That's almost as stupid as hanging a fucking "hang in there" cat poster on your fridge. Get a life.
>>711398677
jesus christ that strength
and jeUS CHRIST THAT POT
>>711398677
Who's holding the camera?
>>711398800
Yes it goddamn is.
That's how you break pasta METAL STYLE.
>>711398601
*laughs softly and covers her eye with one hand*
I know that feeling, Anonymous. I know there because I've been there. I've sat for hours, kicked it with people, tried to stop them from doing it.
The thing to realize is the reason I haven't had someone die while I'm talking to them is chaos and luck, nothing else. You can reach out, you can say everything, you can spin those plates as hard and as long as you can....
And sometimes they fall. I've had people die on me. Maybe I could keep the plates spinning while I'm there, but everyone has to sleep. People have a habit of slipping away from you if you won't let them go, like sand through your fingers; they'll find the time to do it, if they are in real trouble. If you aren't enough.
*wraps her arms tightly around you and squeezes, rubbing your back* I'm sorry Anonymous. It won't be okay for a while, and that's okay. Let it hurt.
"You can't save everyone" is a lesson hard learned, after all.
>>711398677
What's next, good breaking skills btw.
>>711398677
>>711398677
Oh damn, you must be packing on muscle. You wouldn't have been able to do that a few weeks ago.
>>711399016
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
>>711399016
DELETE THIS
MODS MODS MODS
>>711398994
G-glad you asked! Now, w-while the pasta cooks, y-you gotta cube the chicken up real good!
~~~~~~~~~~I-m a-a s-special s-snowflake a-and i-i a-am s-super k-kawaii d-desu s-so t-that m-means i-i h-have t-to s-pell e-everything l-kike a-an a-autist~~~~~~~~~~~
>>711398677
dude, what.
what is this and why isnt it in /ck/
>>711399016
>>711398852
I'm s-sorry to hear that. It s-sounds like this isn't a v-very good night for a lot of people.
Come in from the cold. Dinner is almost ready.
>>711399016
Joke's on you. I've been living under your house all week. Thanks for the free sustenance, you wasteful first-world shit.
Have a bump, and I hope everyone is having an amazing night. And if not, Alice and co are here to see you through it~
>>711398823
Bears?
wat?
>>711399142
Those hands don't look female.
>>711399142
So, what do you program?
>>711398118
I don't find your posts humerus... Skeletons can't be trusted...
>>711399142
put a wet towel under your chopping board and it will stop slipping. also are your genitals male or female?
>>711399162
Because its Alice ya dingus.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsrfovOPcjk
>>711399294
Hi Alice. Robot here again. Nice thread.
>I'm not a robot
>>711399300
I w-work on predictive models f-for financial institutions. Machine learning s-stuff.
>>711399398
Female.
>>711399290
we don't do that anymore.
>>711399399
>>711399366
>>711399300
alternative dubs bros
>>711399294
there's no females on /b/
>>711399142
Hey thats pretty good.
>>711399431
I don't get it, are you a robot or not?
>>711399477
T-thanks! N-now watch me totally fuck up cutting up peppers!
>>711398677
Alice!!! Good to see you are still around.
I hope that things have been well for you.
>>711399294
Don't lie.
You'd still fuck it.
>chicks on /b/
>>711399561
Goddammit, it's 1 in the morning and I'm waiting on Alice posts so I can cook with her.... my life is out of control.
but I really love this.
>>711399561
why are your hands so shackey?
>>711399500
I am, but don't tell the captcha police that. Here's a selfie. I'm just not feeling up to uploading images every post tonight. Long month.
>>711399431
D-dad!?
>>711399442
Finance sector is rad. They pour big bucks into my area (FPGA development)
>>711399661
Yep easy
>>711399692
don't do it. trust me. i'd know.
>>711399561
You did a fine job alice, better than I could do.
>>711398216
Fuck your fingers are manly asf
>>711399678
its a dude
>>711399692
its 3:33am where i am bro. i feel your pain
>>711399447
I'd still be willing to do it, so speak for yourself!
>>711399399
Too much muscle in the upper digits, also has a masculine grip.
100% a man
>>711399561
Face, is that you?
>>711399734
>>711399743
But... she's right here cooking for me...
<4
>>711399638
I've d-done very well for myself, actually! How about you?
>>711399719
N-nerve damage.
>>711399692
G-go to sleep if you are tired!
>>711399743
Oh, I d-do mostly GPU work, b-but I've been looking into FPGAs to s-speed up some of our work!
>>711399790
S-sorry, I'm female!
>>711399263
It happens. They're old. They're sick. Some of them are just here to die.
Just, on top of everything else...I fear my own family now. I really do. They are delighting in a return to "traditional values."
>>711397800
reggin
>>711398974
Thank you, Aneki. I appreciate what you do.
>>711399743
Bitch. You better give her back right now
>>711399561
A-alice...you cursed...I'm proud yet shocked
>>711399561
BUT WHO WAS PHONE AND WHO RECORD?
>>711399784
im 90% sure its a dude in a dress
I think "alice" has a dick
>>711399863
Nooooo, no sleep. First we cook this chicken paste, then I eat... then sleep.
IT'S PASTA TIME
>>711399561
Not stuttering in the instructions
0/10
>>711399829
do i know you?
>>711399830
>>711399561
Fuck sake you dirty whore, you did it in the wrong order. Start again. Learn to follow a recipe.
>>711399728
I am you, son. No one can take that from us.
What's next alice.
>>711399561
At least you did your best c:
>>711399863
>N-nerve damage.
From nerve gas?
>>711399892
It's w-what I do.
>>711399927
>>711399948
S-sorry, I'm female <4
>>711400096
S-sorry, I'm not though <4
>>711399863
>S-sorry, I'm female!
but do you have a dick?
>>711399561
your hands are going spaghettios
>>711399927
because it is.
there are no women that are above an 8/10 who browse 4chan. maybe you get the occasional 6 or 7
>>711396874
>stuttering IN typing
>holding the paper up to head, not even using an elastic band to secure it
i had long lost hope for you, just go to a fucking anime board.
>>711400134
too much masturbation
>>711399948
You and half the people in this thread, mate. Don't need a vagina to cook.
>>711397936
Tip from a butcher. Buying massive breasts like that tend to be tougher and more likely to have red spots.
Look for small to medium ones they for the most tender.
>>711400186
Whatever, you lying fucking duck.
>>711400134
>>711400149
where you from? its a little late for dinner here
>>711399991
Not sure...However,I know you~
You would make a great waifu alice.
>>711400113
G-glad you asked! Now w-we have to cook the chicken! Otherwise you m-might get a disease!
That would be bad. We wouldn't want that, c-certainly not to all the Anons who c-call me male. They s-should cook their chicken especially w-well.
>>711400186
shutup you goddamn waterfowl
Considering neither Reimu or Alice are interested in proving they're female by way of voice recording or showing face, it's safe to assume they're both guys you'd fuck.
>>711400055
I love you dad
Heck
Late again
Hello Alice and thread
-Sweet Roll
>>711400149
>I'm female (male)
Your shoulders are wide too.
>>711400276
not making an obvious cock joke
>>711400096
She only lacks finesse. I plan to teach her soon enough, so fret not, anon
>>711400149
i see this thread has gone the route of all /a/lice threads. devolution into assuming you're not a woman. whatever you are, one last bump, and here's to another six years, or week, or whatever.
...i can't believe i did this six years ago.
>>711400276
get the fuck out you stupid ass faggot
>>711400186
Oh t-that's silly. I'm n-not an 8; after all, I m-met Trump and h-he didn't even grab m-me by the pussy!
>>711400276
Quick question: what does "al dente" mean?
>>711400276
Alice, can I add some mushrooms or dried tomatoes to this recipe?
>>711400294
I love you too son. Make me proud.
>>711400276
Looking good alice.
Alice is a Trap confirmed, man hands of doom
>>711399863
put a wet towel under your chopping board and get a smaller chefs knife, it might help with your N-nerve damage. ive got neuropathy in my hands and im a professional chef so dont let it get you down
>>711400478
yes
>>711400255
>>711399447
Jesus christ, why are all the fucking OG's coming out of the woodwork?
>>711400291
Why the fuck would you expect either of them to do that? Show us your dick, prove to us that you're not a teenage girl or else you're a fucking girl and that's that.
>>711400455
it's like from that movie, teeth.
>>711399142
>>711399561
every time
i am so fucking scared that you are going to cut your fingers off
>>711400186
sure huey, whatever you say
>>711400429
LMAO gurl ur hilarious
pls make a delish plate for us
>>711400455
>cooked to be firm to the bite
>>711399142
if you sharpened your knives, you wouldnt need to saw.
when did you get someone to start filming you?
>>711400546
lose social circles. i guess.
Who is filming for you Alice?
>>711400455
It m-means firm.
>>711400399
I'm Alice, not /a/lice.
>>711400402
*kissu* <4
>>711400478
Add w-whatever you want! It's y-your unique recipe Anonymous; don't be h-held back by common sense!
>>711400521
Oh p-please, I'm a 2 at best.
>>711400531
I d-don't, b-but thank you!
>>711400565
D-don't worry! I have bandaids f-for a reisen!
>>711400579
I'm w-working on it!
>>711400291
A lot of programmers usually end up traps because the work is ridiculously lonely, leaves you skinny and overworked, but leaves you with enough money to turn you into your own woman.
Also the mental illness sign with the fridge diagram too.
The hands, wide ass shoulders, the body language, cliche outfit, being a feminine parody etc. Refusal to say hello (still could be faked, but OP probably isn't that long into his trapping)
ill still give him the dick tho
>>711396874
100% a dude Faggots
>>711400546
Alice brings out all the OG's.
She's the triple OG
>>711400310
Hi
W-when cooking the chicken, b-be sure to stir it to m-make sure it cooks evenly!
>>711400546
one of those odd nights it seems
Alice is obviously a woman why would she lie. Pls continue alice.
>>711400455
it means the pasta still has a bite to it, not starchy and not over cooked. the penne is just right
>>711400672
you realise you can't remotely save /b/. it is far worse than ever before.
>>711400672
Sweeeeet. Thank you, Alice.
Gonna add me some dried tomatoes and mushrooms later.
>>711399142
horrible technique
what good is a trap that can't cook properly?
>>711400276
Holy shit i lost it, no one is that cute, how could this creature even exist in /b/ this dont make sense.
>>711400546
This might be the beginning of a glorious return, who knows! Time will tell.
All I know is that I've missed the community to pieces, with all of its good and bad qualities. Though I hear nowadays no one is formidable enough to cause any sort of trouble.
>>711400795
>>711396874
Perhaps
>>711400873
Gay nigger
>>711400429
god if you were really a woman i would go out with you on the spot. you are hilarious dude
>tfw no anime cutie to make me dinner
>>711400681
>mental illness sign
T-that is there t-to help me w-with my psychology work. Good try though <4
>>711400706
S-sorry, I'm not!
>>711400795
W-will do!
>>711400833
C-can't save everyone. Can still help those I c-can.
>>711400851
I'm n-not a trap <4
>>711400852
Oh s-shush, I'm nothing s-special.
>>711399863
Glad to hear. I'm not bad. Some wins, some losses, but I am still walking the path.
Let me not keep you from cooking. I am just gonna sit back, sip some tea n' bask in the warmth.
>>711400769
those beefy forearms tho
>>711400672
reisen?
like the candy?
i dont get it
>>711400939
downright depressing part of my life.
>>711400791
>>711400711
Fucking ridiculous is what this is.
>>711400713
I swear to christ, if you're the fucking Talking Spider OG, I'm gonna lose my shit.
>>711400833
Shut the fuck up, I've seen your sister's tits.
>>711400956
Ooh, what kind of tea?
>>711400873
Gay nignog
>>711400933
I'll d-decline, thank you <4
>>711400956
Enjoy!
>>711400869
gay
>>711400276
I see. Now that I've confirmed my suspicions of that pans continued existence I'm leaving for the bar in disgust. Good to see you again babe!
*cough*
*nastyho*
*cough*
>>711400946
>T-that is there t-to help me w-with my psychology work. Good try though <4
Why would you need to pin a chart of basic common sense to your kitchen fridge for psychology?
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2FZWRtL.jpg "maxresdefault[1].jpg")
Is that you, Rose?
Hey Alice, I got my wisdom teeth out today. Do you think this meal would still taste good after being blended?
Okay, n-next step! Mix the peppers in w-with the chicken, t-to let the flavors mix together!
>>711400997
now what if i told you i'm one of them too
>>711400946
I don't care if you are male or female the fact that you do this and continue to do this makes you worth a million in my books. pls be my waifu
>>711400868
I don't know, I hear there's a certain Omega out there who plots in the shadows to bring the structure of the entire cult falling to the ground.
What's this I hear about OG's?
>>711401089
What does <4 mean?
I don't know exactly what's up with this thread but I am both disturbed and intruged. You keep doing you Alice
>>711401137
>a certain omega
that gay walrus wont do shit
>>711401089
>>711400997
No
Its Mantis.
>>711401089
I'm going to bed now, but I just wanna say that this is looking pretty tasty. Night, Alice.
>>711401137
wat? no. no. no. no. no. next thing you'll tell me church didn't die.
>>711401089
Alice could you come cook for me?
I broke my leg during a bike accident(got cut off by drunk driver) and am stuck in bed for 4 months.
I could use a good meal and company.
>>711401220
more than <3
Why do these threads still exist? They're unbelievably sad for everyone involved.
>>711400769
naaaaah man, you gotta mix it occasionally, but you want to let it sit and cook sometimes too, that gives it a few crispier brown spots, which are obviously the best, especially when cooked in a bit of butter
>>711399142
Your prep skills are shite
Also show feminine penis
>>711401089
who films this while you cook??
the cam moves so it cant be the doll
You guys are a bunch of faggots, this is 100% trap
>>711398677
You are a boy
>>711401098
This, it is interesting.
>>711401071
*giggles* D-don't stay out too late, okay?
>>711401075
*blinks* Interesting. Common sense huh? I suppose the idea that "things fall at the same rate" and "the sun revolves around the earth" are also common sense, and yet took us thousands of years to develop....
Just because an idea is easy to express does not make it common, dear. A lot of people do not understand this cycle; I do, and understand its worth.
So I give myself a reminder, for when the times are very tough, for when I want to scream and attack...that I should respond with compassion and reason instead.
Maybe you see no value in that. But I do. And so do my patients.
>>711401289
better than the same shit we see all the time
>>711399142
Watching you cut meat is anxiety educing.
You guys are so mean to alice.
Why are all these people watching a trap cook
>>711401331
>>711401348
NO ONE CARES
Alice is making food.
THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS
fuckin cancer.
>>711401137
Omega is this season's main antagonist? Oh my! I have missed a lot!
How are you these days anyway? Do you stop by the chat?
Why dont you start a youtube channel as 3d alice, Alice
>>711401220
It m-means I love you one more <4
>>711401234
Exactly!
>>711401289
B-because I love you <4
>>711401305
D-don't have one!
>>711401319
Hourai does, of course.
>>711401348
S-sorry, I'm not <4
>>711401380
Yay!
>>711398677
Holy fucking MAN HANDS, Batman!
If you cook this dinner for me, I'd wash it down with a beer, slap your ass, then drag you to the bedroom.
Holy shit, this is the saddest thing ever. Seriously, think for two seconds about what you all are doing. Suicide is an option.
>>711401380
I want Alice for Christmas.
>>711401368
no, this is alice.
Where's Ren Honjo ?
Where's Aussie ?
Where's NGGG ?
>>711401380
I want a Niko L820 camera, plum please
>>711401380
Santa, I want my dad to come back. Last I saw him, he was hanging in the closet
>>711401437
aland
Alright everyone, y-you can probably guess what c-comes next!
Mix all three ingredients together thoroughly!
>>711401353
>the sun revolves around the earth
>>711401257
What? Church died?!
>>711400769
Hey Alice chan. When do you do these cooking posts? I enjoy them a lot :p
>>711401476
what country are you from, its very late for dinner??
>>711401439
if there's a chat, i wouldn't have seen it in ageeeees.
>>711400713
Hello Mantis
How are you?
-Sweet Roll
>>711401616
H-how embarrassing.
>>711401636
Every w-week, Friday at 10PM EST!
>>711400554
K.
>>711401380
i want a real qt3.14 trap gf
c a n c e r
>>711401380
Santa i need to be healthy so mom won't be worried anymore about me ;_;
>>711401683
well you have a new fan <6
