Can we get a feels thread going on?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Can we get a feels thread going on?
>>710305266
anyone have the Adonis story?
>>710305266
I lost my wife and two daughters a little over a year ago. I've thought of killing myself a few times. But I know they wouldn't want me to do that. So it's just my dog and I in our little one bedroom apartment.
Sure man. I just hope we can have some more feels stories rather than the constant "omg gf broke up :(("
I don't even care about a girlfriend anymore. I care about friends. Someone to talk to. If any of you guys would be my friend, I would like that. I don't have anyone to talk to. I am just feeling so empty, there is nothing to do. Fuck.
I'll also be here for you anons.
>>710306190
I want you to know that you're strong as hell, anon. Keep on living on!
>>710306405
It's nice to see someone I agree with here. Never had a proper girlfriend and don't care for one, I've lost all my close friends one by one over the past month and I'm waiting for the only one I've got to introduce me to his friends.
>Be me 10th grade in high school
>Think I have friends
>Everyday I sit with "friends" on our usual lunch table
>Converse with friendss and what-not.
>Always hear them maeking plans to do things after school and during the weekend.
>Ask them each Monday "So what did you do this weekend?"
>Always get the same ususal response of "Oh I hug out with friends."
>One cold night in the middle of winter break, I'm on my computer playing some CS:GO.
>Im searching for a game, then all of the sudden I realize that I have been doing this every night since 6th grade, all night long.
>I realize that I only hug out with "friends" 3 times in my life.
>I realize that I have no friends.
>>710306405
I'll be your friend, anon.
Steam?
/b/ is the only thing in my life that I actually look forward to seeing. You guys are the only ones who know what it feels like to be lonely. You guys know what it feels like to be sad when everyone else around is happy. You guys are truly my /b/rothers
>>710306959
I'm just like you, Anon.
>be me
>today
>browsing facebook
>see a pic with all my friends in it
>all of them
>except me
>>710305266
Put on a 'waiting list (read: turned down for)' a teaching job in Korea I applied for and got an interview for as well. I got all excited for nothing, thinking I'd be returning to Korea to live and work soon after graduation (which will be in December).
But, I guess now I can focus on Japan and China. Already sent off an application for JET.
post stuff
I only had real friends once in my whole life, and I only knew them for 2 years, in 5th and 6th grade. We would hang out and talk to each other and we cared about eachother. I've only had that once. I don't have it now. I was so sad that i closed off and now I'm in college and I don;t know how to open back up again.
Am I still ISP banned?
>>710307900
I guess not
Hey guys
I'm really tired so I probably won't share that much with you, but I have a question for you
Does anybody know at what speed does one have to drive into a concrete wall to be... mostly dead ?
>>710307449
The worst feeling is being sad while everyone else is happy and being unable to say or do anything about it. It's like looking at the world from behind a window, but the only difference is that no matter how hard you yell at the glass, somehow no one sees or hears you and no matter how hard you pound at the glass, the glass still somehow never breaks.
>>710307449
Fortune favors the bold, anon. Tell them to invite you to more stuff.
>>710305266
The route of everyones problems is pussy and rejection.
Fuck i wanna watch shin godzilla.
Does anyone care for a poem i wrote about the girl that dumped me yesterday?
>>710307972
Just go as fast as you can
>ITT: A bunch of underage fags who need to get over themselves or kill themselves
>>710308134
go on
>>710308134
Sure, anon.
>>710307972
Just use some train tracks anon. 100℅ success rate. Its like a free suicide machine.
>>710308204
>>710308210
I told you all my secrets
So i could feel alive
Cause in my head ive died
A hundred thousand times
Obsessed by truth you leeched me
I didnt realise
That you had the intention
Of leaving me behind
You told me all your stories
That in their core define
Why you can not be loved
cause god knows you have tried
Obsessed by you i lost it
You didn't realise
That i saw through these memories
A little dying light
Don't let your past define you
I cried with all my heart
But there you sat cold blooded
Its just too fucking hard
>>710308029
in my school im to bold and everybody hates me for it
Nothing compares to the feeling of being alone.
Nothing compares to the feeling of having so much time, but oing nothing with it, not out of laziness, but becuase you have just nothing to do with your time.
The worst feeling in the world is being alone, while being surrounded by people.
> be me
> 19
> just found out gf of 2 years cheated on me
> finish high school whilst being an emotional wreck
> see all of my classmates start college and shit
> everyone has some passion or some talent
> be poorfag
> can't afford college
> work shitty job in costumer support with people yelling at me constantly
> move out to live on my own™
> find shitty roommates
> only stay because the rent is low
> realise only passion I have is video games
> sitting in my room everyday browsing /b/ and /v/
> day after day after day
> I am literally useless to society and to myself
Is this it? Is this life?
>>710308431
Maybe you should try to be a bit more calm and restrain yourself from being too bold?
Buried my dog yesterday. A 12 year old german shepherd. Keep thinking I still hear him making sounds and keep looking over to where he always slept.
Never take a pet, lads. The inevitable sick period before they go is horrid.
There's something worse than feeling alone... Not feeling anything at all.
>>710308314
Yeah, it sounds pretty sweet but kinda hard to make it look like an accident
I still love my family and well, I'd prefer them not to know
>>710308733
I know that feeling. Had to put my 9 year old cavalier king charles spaniel to sleep 2 years ago because of cancer. Life gets empty
>>710308187
>>710308320
Well written, I know that feel.
I had a friend who I deeply confided in and gave a lot of support for years. I moved away, and she stopped returning my calls and texts.
I know friendship isn't about giving and getting, but I have this dirty feeling that I made a bad investments of my friendship capital.
>>710308117
This!
Shin-Goji when??
>>710305266
My girlfriend got drugged and raped, he called me and made me hear everything. When he finished he send me a message asking me if I still wanted her.
>>710308673
As someone in the same situation I found that changing it up every once in awhile is helpful. I started jogging every other day and it actually helped anon.
>>710308673
sucks to be amerifat and not have free college
>2 years
>Makayla
>We were best friends
>She wanted something more
>I never asked her
>Now in high school
>I try asking her to hang out
>"I'm hanging out with alex" (dumb fucking football player)
>Me and her got a long because she didn't have many friends but god damn she is beautiful
> I don't mind her hanging with him
>Try the next couple of weeks to hang with her
>she keeps leaving last second and coming up with an excuse
>Ask her to hang out at lunch
>"I have to go to math"
>I don't respond
>Walk through the halls with my only friend
>See her in there with him, helping him with math
>Friend asks if I want to go to math since I need to study for a test
>I tell him no
>"Why anon?"
>tell him I want to go to the library because I don't need help
>See makayla after school
>Don't say anything to her while she looks at me
>Drive home mom screams to me about my grades
>Feeling like shit I can't even take my mind off what has happened, I lost vidya and I would say I lost her but that was a long time ago. She was so beautiful.
>>710308878
I think it was cancer what took mine as well, at least thats what the vet said, although he had some serious hip problems for a year or two already as well as is usual with shepherds.
A somewhat funny coincidence about it all is that five years ago my cat died on the same night, also at 12 years old.
I'm guessing you haven't taken another dog then? I don't think I could go through all that again, despite the great times we had when he was young.
>>710309400
Actually britbong, lad
>>710309239
Did you murder him?
>In 8th grade
>Dad just got me and my siblings a bird.
>Me and m sisters decide to let it out on its first day
>Ohshit.jpg
>Just flew into the walls trying to escape.
>Luckily he didn't die.
>From that day forward we start training him nice and easy.
>Bird now loves all of us, but has a special connection with me.
>Everyday I go to school, he waits for me by the door. He only moves to eat and drink.
>I come home from school and he flies onto my shoulder.
>Me and him just chill in my room everyday.
>Throughout all the years he so,ehow knew when I was sad.
>If I was ever feeling a bit down, he'd just fly on my shoulders and nibble on my ear.
>Cheered me right up.
>Never had a friend to cheer me up. Never even had a friend.
>One day during junior year, he drops from the top of his cage like a bag of bricks.
>Quickly rush over to see him.
>He is unresponsive.
>Ohgod.mp3
>Tears start flowing from my eyes. I cry uncontrollably for hours.
>End up sleeping from crying.
>Next day comes up and I wake up.
>I realize that my only friend has died
>My only friends will never be there again to cheer me up
>I start to cry again
>To this day, I still have no friends.
I love you and miss you birdy
>>710309099
She kept warning me to not get attached and tried to keep distance.. I was madly in love and broke through all her barriers anyway..
This didn't last long though, she ultimately broke down telling me she couldn't be in a relationship because she turns into a different person and cant handle herself, all her exes treated her like shit and now she's too scared of taking a risk..
Or maybe i'm just not worth the risk..
>>710309504
We had that one and another one of the same breed that was about 5 years younger. They were best friends and the younger one had never been without anpther dog before sp she got into a depression or some sort of abandonment feeling. The breeder that we bought the young one heard about this and we actually got a new dog the same age as her a year later for free. Only condition was that she was going to have puppies but that didn't happen and now they're both living with me. They're 5 years old now.
>>710309653
Killed in prison
>>710309108
It's out in cinema in australia but i think i missed the chance to watch it.
I've lost myself in several different psychoses, with seizures lasting hours an end.
I'm severely depressed and can't take care of myself at all.
Everyone thinks i'm this laidback clever dude that can always give good insights.
On the inside i am rotten and scared of myself.
Nobody knows.
>be me
>high school
>2 years left
>Have no interest except band and calligraphy.
>sad shit
>life is so boring and monotonous
>no gf
>friends, but they are all assholes
>wont kill self but still. Fucking bored with my life.
>all I have left is animoo and vidya.
After typing this and seeing all these other replies about dead dogs and shit I feel bad thinking I have legit problems.
>tfw best friend is naturally charismatic likeable guy out getting pussy tonight
>tfw he can't be my wingman cause girls like him not me
>tfw sitting indoors playing dark souls
>tfw get message from him with a picture of a girl he's hooking up with tonight
>tfw she's a 10/10 perfect my type girl
>tfw you're alone
>>710310742
What kind of band are you in?
>>710310742
I was just like you, exactly and then tried getting with this chick me and her were friends for a long time and she turned me down, don't try to get a gf. It hurts more.
>>710310677
>you
>>710310742
What do you play? I played flute in high school and it was fucking great
>>710308733
I am not gonna say sorry because i don't (i can't feel what you feel) but just think that your dog was another complex expression of life, life is something that we can't yet fully understand. Out of many possibilities in the universe your dog was there for you and now is back at nature in an elemental form. The same will happen to all of us. Remember and just try to enjoy the ride.
what would your fallout stats be in real life
>>710311496
Dead
>>710306405
oh lord this. so much this. I've started just lurking on these threads instead of participating because i feel like a misfit in here (among other places).
everyone it seems only has girl problems, and a while i won't go to the extent of calling everyone a pussy whipped morons, but I would appreciate if people with serious hardships participated more.
Serious illness, disabilities, dead loved ones, financially broken folks.. where are you guys?
i'm lying here on my bed typing with my dead fingers because I'm a fucking vegetable paralyzed below his chest. i can't even kill myself
First time being drunk, vidya is hard feels are for losers drink more smoke weed live life there i just fixed all your problems. you are welcome plebs.
t. shaman that knows what the fuck it's about
>>710311766
Yeah but this thread is pretty good compared to other feels breads
/b/ let me tell you a story.
Its about my bestfriend Collin (pic related) and the nightmare his life has become.
>be me in 5th grade, summer of 2005
>move to new neighborhood, know nobody.
>riding my bike around, see some kid playing with a slingshot
>ride up to him and ask to try it.
>we set up a target range and shoot at trees, birds, squirrels
>he shows me around the neighborhood and i eat at his house that night.
>we hang out a lot more and become really good friends.
>adventures end when the summer does.
>im homeschooled that year, still hang out with Collin after he gets home from school
>Play PS2 at his house that winter, become really close with his family, at their house constantly.
>he comes to my house too, spends the night a lot, eats my food straight from the refrigerator. W become best friends and just hang out a lot.
>Middle school (2008 ish) I start going to his school
>He's a grade younger than I am, but still hang out a lot.
>We make other friends, but we still hang out together regularly.
>Friendship survives liking the same girl, I know he's a fucking bro.
>People started calling us gay because we spent a lot of time together, so we tried out for basketball team winter of my 9th grade, his 8th grade year.
>we both make it, but hes much better than i am.
>I suck, he starts all the games, becomes popular because hes such a great athlete and a cool guy.
>He doesnt forget me and invites me to popular people shit, parties and such
>Middleschool wasnt horrible because of Collin.
>>710306405
how old are you bro
Who /lostalldrive/ here?
>Me and best friend since pre-K
>basically brothers at this point
>My friend will be called Y for now
>Fast forward to 9th grade we join marching band
>our goal is to go to college and march together
>its hard and we become stand out Euphonium players
>Colleges start looking at us
>we become the best in the MEAC
>ff senior year
> Y can't go to college because his dad just up and left suddenly
>So instead of going to college he has to get a job to support his mom so he signs to join the military
>all of our dreams and goals just shattered
>We wanted to march at talladega and crab together.
I know you guys dont care but what can I do. I just wanted to go to college with my friend and march together. We worked so hard and all for nothing seemingly. I've just been extremely sad about this and I just dont know what to do.
>>710310030
Thats actually pretty nice. That breed looks like they may be tons of fun and mayhem as well.
>>710311224
Yeah, I reckon you are right. I just never realized how many of his hijinks I took for granted.
>>710312000
trips. I feel you man
>>710307972
if you have access to a car why not go with carbon monoxide poisoning? pipe from exhaust to inside, roll up windows, start car, drink listen to good music and fade to sleep
>>710312044
Yeah they are. But they're pretty chill mostly. Hope you can recover from your loss, anon. Stay strong.
>>710311766
>>710310677
This is me, where are you from anon?
>Tfw the only way you can trick yourself into being happy is by drugs.
>Tfw the only way you can forget about your loneliness is through drugs.
>Tfw the only way you can stop being lonely is through the comfort of drugs
Yo, if y'all need someone to talk to, a new friend, I'm legit here for you ... Talk about anything, discuss, play a fking game. Whatever.
Here's my snapchat(can add other shit from there just dont wanna give out my public number ): Narishi
>>710312280
I'm in the same boat /b/ro.
I even managed to talk myself into getting free prescription drugs whilst i already abuse the shit out of tons of other chemicals.
>>710312278
some third world country
Please don't let this thread sage.
This is the only time when I don't feel lonely anymore
>>710312280
Get yourself wasted on the strong 50 proof shit like I do. If you get drunk it helps you forget the pain, your whole body becomes a little numb though.
>>710312818
How's the food?
>>710305266
60% of the time it works every time.
>>710305266
>have female best friend
>when we first start hanging out it's great, we talk all the time, have lots of fun, play games together etc
>they get back together with an ex and my time with them becomes limited at best
>want them to be happy so try to accept that this is how things are
>miss talking with them all the time and having fun but don't want to upset them by telling them that i'm lonely
>get drunk one night and bitterly think that i'd be happier if they broke up, know i'm a scumbag for thinking that
>she comes to me the other day and tell me that they broke up again
>she's completely beside herself, almost ready to kill herself, do my best to try and calm her down
>we start talking all the time and playing games and stuff together
>she's horribly broken up over the ex, can't get over it, i don't know what to do to try and help besides be there
>we hang out like the old days but she wants to die and can only think about her ex
>laying in bed
>ask myself if this is what i wanted
dont let this thread sage
<
>>710313134
please don't kill yourself
even if it's for my sake, some random anon
>>710306931
That hit me harder than it should've. What the fuck, Bert & Ernie...
>>710313329
Because of how short term memory works, the odds are slim, Jim.
>>710309342
Jogging is the shit, anons. No longer clinically depressed, mostly because I quit dope and cigs, and started walking (then jogging, then running) everyday. Get on it.
>>710312280
>Mfw you are exactly correct and I only have one friend that does it with me but he isn't that close nad never really talked about anything else other than drugs
>>710311971
>Highschool 2010 (my 10th grade his 9th grade)
>We're close as brothers now, always chilling and playing video games and sports.
>he also got me into working out so i didnt become a thin awkward weeb.
>after games, we would go to his house and get pizza and play black ops all night
>As we get older we start taking roadtrips with other friends and go on hikes and camp.
>At this point Collin was considering joining the Marines so he was always working out, buying guns, general manly stuff.
>He was a fucking beast, full 6-pack and could bench almost 200 by junior year in highschool.
>My senior year, he began acting a little weirder. He wouldnt come to school, or he'd come really late.
>He was trying for a scholarship, so this was kinda unusual behavior.
>I would ask him about it, and he would always say he was fine.
>Halfway through my senior year, he transfers schools.
>I feel bad, miss my bro. Senioryear sucked for many other reasons.
>That summer, he gets a job as a landscaper, Im a painter
>Every free second we have is spent hiking, drinking, gaming, just driving and talking.
>I skip a semester to work and go to school spring of 2015
>Make a ton of new friends, keep texting collin and making sure he's okay.
>I come home and watch him graduate, I dont see his dad at his graduation.
>Party with him after, we go home afterwards
>"Dude where's your dad?"
>"Oh he's on a busines trip"
>Im not even convinced.
>Start seeing less and less of Collin's dad that summer.
pic related, me and Collin hiking
>>710313096
not too bad i suppose. how about you what are you up to
Ouch
>>710310742
you have 90% of your life to go moron, just wait until you're 37 and shit's still as bad. that's what's gonna happen if you become a sad sack and lose all motivation as a teenager.
>be me
>never have much of a personality aside from making jokes
>in 7th grade get chronic depression
>still have it 5 years later
>in high school become really anti social
>never talked and when I did I choked up so badly that my self esteem would somehow get worse
>never acted seriously autistic in high school but never had real friends
>mfw nothing has changed
>mfw I think about suicide every day and cry myself to sleep but am too much of a pussy and care about family to do that
>I don't feel anything anymore, I'll sometimes get sad or lonely but I'll just lay in bed with my cat and cry, I have literally nothing to live for than not putting other people through pain
>>710306405
Anon I'm in the exact same boat as you. Stopped caring about girlfriends and really only want people I can depend on. if you want to add me on steam and we can talk: http://steamcommunity.com/id/creepachuu/
>>710313944
Same... Pretty much.
>>710314275
This one hurts the most because it's the most true and the most repressed.
>>710313299
No sense in sitting back and wondering about shit, tell her how you feel about her, if she can't move on that's her problem, if she can't see how much you care for her then leave. You've been to nice and cared for others before yourself, its time to be selfish and reach out and grab what YOU want. Her pain is not what you wanted, you are to kind hearted for that but you are in this world for yourself at the end of the day and you should stop wasting time. Make a move or move on.
>>710314542
...make what move? what kind of move am i supposed to make?
>>710313790
It's 3:09 here and ive got an appointment at 9:00.
I ran out of cigarettes, weed and alcohol
Sleep isn't gonna happen because i took shittons of ritalin today.
Haven't had any real food today besides the pills i washed down with wine and beer.
I want to escape my own thoughts, but nothing seems to sedate me enough anymore.
The only line of protection i have is that i've put a stop to the list of different drugs i've abused. Anything harder will end up killing me.
What do you do in your daily routines?
>>710306190
May I know how you lost them?
>>710313944
Hang in there. You're not alone.
>>710314275
I play videogames because they make me forget about this world. I play when I feel sad. Like how people eat when they feel bad. I don't do it for enjoyment anymore.
>>710310334
Fake and gay.
>>710313719
>Collin and i go to the same college.
>College was so fun with my best friend, make a whole bunch of memories
>Always drinking together, going to the same parties, going on double dates with him and his various girlfriends.
>One day he looks sad
>"Hey whats wrong?"
>"I dont want to talk about it"
>He grows sadder and sadder as the semester goes on, doesnt really go to many parties any more, doesnt go to many social events.
>He focuses on school and just watches movies in his room.
>Christmas break 2015
>Come home, dont really hear much from Collin.
>We drive back to school together in January, talk about all the good times we had together.
>He seems better, he might have just been homesick.
>Get to school, Im a nursing major so shit gets serious so Im studying all the time or in labs.
>Dont see him as much.
>Visit his room one day, hes sitting in the dark on his phone.
>He looks sad again, very abnormal for Collin
>He starts yelling something about needing to go home.
>Asks "but are you okay?"
>I leave and tell him ill see him tomorrow.
>The next week, I call, text, and every other kind of message him, cant get a hold of him.
>Go to his room after class, hes just sitting in his bed.
>Make him tell me whats wrong
>"Oh i cant say, just family issues."
>Feel bad and buy him dinner that night.
>A couple weeks later he tells me he's leaving school. That's when shit started getting bad.
Yo anons, need to get this off my chest.
>start uni
>meet smokin hot girl on my course
>get to know her really well
>fuck her
>continue being really good friends
>fuck every now and again
>getting closer and closer
>eventually have the "what are we doing exactly" talk
>decide mutally that we are really good friends and it's too soon to jump into anything
>im happy with this, we still talk all the time and hang out and fuck
>everything is literally fine and I have no reason to worry
>i still torture myself constantly
>make myself worry about nothing and get secretly offended when she's doing something else than see me, i prang out so much about how long she wont be online, all that kind of stupid shit
>i know this behaviour is ridicolous and if she realized how pathetic im being in my head she would run and never come back
how the fuck do i just chill out and enjoy what i have
>>710313418
Wouldn't do it yet any way, not the way I wanna die. If I do walk the path to hell I'm gonna do it in style, I wanna die in service to others, cuz if my life ends with someone more worthwhile surviving then it wasn't a worthless life I led.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl5TUw7sUBs there's no reason for me to post this here i just figured at least one person here would like it. pretty chill song
>>710314686
Tell her how you feel you dense mother fucker. Let her know that you have loved her for a long time and that you will be by her side through hell and high water.
So I'm a 26 year old newfag, yes, I need to lurk more but I've just now decided to have a little whine about my life
Don't get me wrong, I'm doing better than the majority of these stories, I have a decent job, a roof over my head, but... I just don't have any friends.
I would rather sit at home playing games than go out and be sociable, I have no reason to go out either. Nobody to love, no friends, can't be bothered to make friends either..
I've got by day to day by thinking that I'm happy, but the truth is I'm not, I know what's missing but I don't know how to fix it, it would be strange to go out on my own and try and make some friends at my age.
It gets me down guys, how can I not be a loser? I'm not attractive, I'm not a social butterfly, I suck at being a person half the time... What do I do?
>>710315371
i love her yeah but i'm not interested in her in that way. she already knows how i care about her. it's almost like platonic relationships between a man and a woman can exist.
bump
>be me
>have happy childhood in ukraine
>move to switzerland with divorced mother and new stepfather
>mom gets addicted to the bottle
>stepfather beats me regularly
>decide its enough
>move to foster family with 13 years old
>grew up to be antisocial, lazy, addicted to vidya
>two real friends
>one real gf
>fast forward to now
>lost my job cause of depression
>being threatened to be kicked out of own appartment for not paying rent
>moms dying of alcohol poisoning
>mfw im all alone
>mfw everythings going to shit and i cant be fucked to do anything
>mfw im a fucking disappointment that will never achieve anything
>>710314904
fasterrrrr
>>710314691
therapist appointment or some checkup? and why don't you eat something?
i have a day job but I'll on vacation till next week. hate the job as well now as it feels meaningless and tangential to what i want to do with my career. but it is the only thing keeping me sane otherwise I'll be wasting years away inside a room at my parents and i can't stand my father and his orthodox ways of life.
been trying to find a new job for months and no one even calls me for interview even if I have experience and good company, because my academics are not great. all the knowledge goes to shit if you don't have a degree in this shit hole
>>710314904
>He leaves halfway through the semester, didn't even finish a year.
>I dont hear much from him while I finish the semester.
>Get home on summer break, try to get a hold of him and he's working 2 landscaping jobs.
>He rarely sleeps
>I go to his house after he got home and take him to get some food
>Ask him why he left school
>Turns out his dad had been a functional alcoholic for 20years, he wrecked the families' finances and was behind on card payments.
>His dad became abusive towards his younger siblings and his mother
>He threw her down the stairs one night
>He beat up Collin's younger brother and gave him a concussion which he blamed on a baseball injury.
>Collin's mom got a restraining order the night he left school.
>Collin's been working 2 fucking jobs to support 6 brothers and sisters and his mom.
>probably wont go back to school.
>Im heartbroken about my friend's situation. I offer to help any way i can, but he says theres not much I can do. His young brothers stayed at my house several times to avoid Collin's dad's abuse.
>>710314904
The suspense is killing me
I feel like this is the end of this thread.
Goodnight guys.
Thanks for not making me feel entirley alone.
>>710316215
Goodnight
>>710315375
Find a social place that suits your style and just start going there. I'm a hypersocial person and whilst i usually go in with the aim of finding a girl, i always end up talking to a bunch of dudes.
Just realise that noone expects you to be an interesting person, so all there is is space for you to impress.
Now i'm a smoker so i usually dont bring a lighter and go around asking for lights if i'm craving to meet someone new. Sometimes theres a click sometimes there isn't, but trying is worth it anon!
Example places:
Hell, i even pretended to be a lost tourist at my own town's trainstation once just to try and impress a girl. She was more confused, but fuck it, it's just a funny story now and noone got hurt.
Dont be scared of dissapointment, use your creativity and just find a way to release your thoughts upon a different human!
Oh and don't overdo it, listen to what they have to say too and try to think of comebacks that show you picked up meaning and are interested in knowing more about them, people are self-centered creatures.
Good luck!
>don't want to live anymore
>can't ever kill myself
ya this thing is gonna end. anyone wants to join us on telegram feels on wheel group here is the link
https://telegram.me/joinchat/DTvISUEwvQQLaDeLU6wFEw
>wake up
>think to myself "today will be better than yesterday"
>eat breakfast
>get to school
>humiliated because funny-looking
>friends send person I don't know to tell me that they don't want me around anymore
>teacher humiliates me for getting B+
>PE teacher yells at me because I'm not running due to severe asthma
>get beat up at lunch
>walk seven miles home because dad is too lazy to drive
>get home
>dad yells at me for not trying hard enough on test
>mom yells at me for getting C in PE
>no dinner
>go to room
>phone vibrates
>it's my one real friend telling me that the girl I fell in love with and trusted for eight years has been using me for money and as a cheating device
>look at noose I made two years ago for half-hour
>put it away
>"Maybe tomorrow will be better than today"
26 Years Later
>wake up
>think to myself "today will be better than yesterday"
>eat breakfast
>get to work
>boss yells at me for not correctly punctuating letter
>coworkers give me all their shit to do and leave for lunch
>work for eight hours straight
>phone rings
>incomprehensible yelling from boss
>leave work, drive to bar
>sit down on stool
>my old buddy the bartender gives me a bottle of vodka
>chug that shit like milk
"That shit will kill your liver."
>"Good."
>spend a few hours there
>go home
>look at .45
>put it back in closet
>"Maybe tomorrow will be better than today"
>>710316531
There is one solution:
>become vegetable
>stem phd
>postdoc
>can't find job after postdoc
>8 months NEET now
shit sucks, getting worse by the day
Maybe it can help
life is though
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgmVOuLgFB0
>>710316562
comin
>>710315375
>>710316480
I somehow deleted the example places:
Libraries (they have internet for gaming xd)
Cozy rock bars
Anything related to your hobbies (gaming events, comic cons)
A park (sometimes i just go and talk to people that are alone)
I'm a weirdo.. but what i'm overdoing, is what you should be trying!
>>710307417
This. I'm so bored of doing the things I used to do, like read and draw. I'm so empty, 4chan is like a map of different worlds I can visit and we all share our emptiness. It doesn't help long term, true, but it doesn't make me feel any worse.
>>710310879
Concert band. I play tuba. Wew
>>710315375
watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgmVOuLgFB0
One night in sophomore year, I had went to a party with. Only a bunch of girls in my grade and like 4 other guys. I bring my friend, a senior, and his girlfriend who's in my grade. I'm fine with this. Friends name is Collin BTW. I meet up with Collin and Roach (let's just call his girl roach). See that they brought my older brother. I'm fine with this at first. We get to the party and this girl that I've been crushing on for a couple of months is there. She's seen me get fucked up before, but not my brother. She busts out two big old bottles of Smirnoff and I live her for it. She pours me a whole cup, but my brother slaps it out of my hand and punches me in the face, blooding my nose. I head outside and on my way, I take two girls cups, cause they obviously didn't like vodka. I down then both in a minute because I'm pissed as all hell. I pass out for about 30 minutes. I woke up and decided to have a smoke. I have a bogey, throw up, and go inside. Suddenly, I have an urge to piss. Run to bathroom, tripping over hipsters. Don't listen to them yelling "Don't go in there." I swing open door. By the toilet, Roach was sucking Collins dick. By the sink, girl I've been crushing on is making out with my brother. Crushed.jpg. I go outside and decide to walk to Wendie's. I blacked out on the way there and woke up in the bathroom. Get a frosty and a small rootbeer. Make myself a root beer float and cry in Wendy's. Two weeks later and now my brother is fucking the Roach and Collins pissed about it. I haven't spoken to my brother since.
Fast forward one day. I'm sitting at home. It's around 1 am in a Sunday. I check snapchat. Another group I hang out with is there. One dude was at the other party. They're smoking weed and drinking beers. Monday rolls around. See him in the hall. "Sick invite, bro." I said. "I thought you went to your dads house this weekend." He replied. He knew I didn't go because we had made plans earlier.
Moral of story? Never talk to your siblings.
>>710317124
Jeremy lol
>>710316874
i was at a pub this weekend with two other friends. they were buzzed out while i was still somewhat sober, and there was this guy sitting on the other table who was stealing glances at me. he had been there for at least two hours, completely alone, drinking.
i was all ready to go up to him and ask if he wanted to join us, maybe have a conversation. but my friends bring the dicks that they are wouldn't let me.
>let him BE
>he's enjoying it
>he wants to be alone
it's ironical because one of them is a loud extrovert and the other one has crippling anxiety and would kill to have a friend.
>>710315878
>I stayed home this past year from Uni because a hospital job opnened up, so Im taking local comm college classes and working in a hospital ER.
>Started the job in March.
>Work random schedule, dont have too many days off.
>Rarely see Collin or any other friends.
>Occasionally have a coffee, he tells me his job is harder than mine, we swap work stories.
>Hes met a super cool coworker, we'll call him Louis.
>Louis is just like Collin: big, strong, athletic, he's 32, Collin is 20.
>They become good friends, I meet Louis, drink with him, he's a cool guy.
>Dont see them very often because of my job and school.
>The times i do see them, Collin has changed a little bit, hes more anxious, more "jittery"
>Collin's always sending me snapchats of partying with Louis and Louis' friends.
>I meet them, theyre all 30- something partying losers.
>none of them have jobs, they always spend theyre parents money on strip clubs and drugs.
>I tell Collin my opinion, he's like "Its theyre life man, just let it be."
>Collin's a man now, he can live his own life I thought.
>Collin lives with Louis and his friends now, parties with them, but still gives his money to his mom who is separated from his dad.
>He sent me a snap of himself drunk with naked girls sucking him and Louis off at Louis' off at Louis' house.
>The next night he texts me 3 paragraph long message asking me for $200 for "rent"
>Louis has never charged Collin rent.....
>Tell him Ill send it electronically, he flips his shit at me.
>"DUde we arent kids anymore, shits real out here."
>"I need the cash man, Ive never asked you before"
>Please dude Ill pay you back"
>Im scared for Collin at this point, I call, he answers, obviously drunk.
>Yells at me for not meeting him in person to give him money.
>Im hurt that my bro would act like this, its so unusual.
>I dont hear ANYTHING from Collin for the next 3 weeks.
>Nothing, not a text, no FB posts, instagram, snapchat, nothing.
>try calling him, texting him, nothing.
>>710309956
> fuck i had a bird once
> loved that green little fucker
> would sing gay ass songs and shit with him
> he would always tweet along
> idiot mother opened cage one day
> dog gulps him right up
> wasn't even at home at time couldn't save him
> when im told i died a little inside
> dont cry because lol guys dont cry
> inside im fucking dying'
every once in a while i see a wild bird and remember him
>>>>>>>>>> >mfw
>>710317594
fucking go on
>>710314904
>>710317594
wait ... can we kik? i want to talk to you
>>710317591
Well then tell you're friends the only way by finding out is by asking :)
>>710314720
Car accident. They were on there way to my mother in laws house for the weekend. I was supposed to go but I couldn't get the time off from work. Dude lost control of his truck crossed the median and hit them head on. Worst day of my life.
I'm in love
>>710315845
I'm too stubborn.. And i'm still managing, i guess.. These threads and my guitar are my therapy...
Ritalin doesn't make me hungry.. And my shit state of mind keeps me on this chair.. But i managed to make something and i'm trying to work it down now..
And i know, chances are hard to come by in a world flooded with people.. But there's nothing you can do besides trying..
>>710316865
i hate such videos. bunch of propaganda bullshit
>>710318696
i'm so sorry
>>710318696
And will end up broken hearted.
>>710310334
what was her name
Does anyone know the name of that one really sad sounding Spanish song? All I remember is that the album art for it is mostly yellow with a matador-like man in the middle.
>>710310334
I know that feeling anon, hits straight to the core.
>>710313664
That helps a lot Anon as a smoker I will try this method
>tfw you spent all your high school years in your room alone
>>710318933
>>710318942
It's the same person I've always been in love with, we dated for almost 3 years and didn't talk for 2 she says she's happy we are friends and she knows how I feel and says she's trying to love me in the same way and that means the world to me because it's always felt like no one has ever really tried for me except her.. she's still unsure because of our past but I promised to never give up on her and she said she'd try and do the same she want s to go to college and I couldn't be more proud of her because I know I'll never make anything out of myself but if she moves away I'm willing to drop everything and go after her, she's worth it to me
>>710318847
do you have any friends?
are you there on telegram?
>Be me
>Life sucks
>Have revolver under bed with one bullet
>spin and put pistol to head each morning
>let fate decide whether I live or die
>literally the only positive part of my day is waking up knowing I might be dead in a few minutes
>MFW I'm a week in and still alive
>>710319563
I don't have Telegram.. And i have alot of friends..
But all anyone really gets to see is my carefully constructed mask..
>>710317594
>Collin posts on instagram 2 days ago.
>Its him in North Carolina with his entire family, even his dad, on some beach.
>See 2 more posts of his
>Send a message asking if he wants to hang out sometime.
>a day later he responds. "Sure"
/b/, 2 days ago, I met up with my best friend in the whole world, the man I grew up with, my brother. He told me the saddest story.
>We got McDonalds because we're poor.
>He started smoking as soon as we got outside my car. He never smoked, he thought it was stupid and he had family die from it.
>He apologizes for not contacting me sooner.
>tells me to block Louis on any social media and delete his number.
>I ask him fucking why, Louis was cool.
>He told me Louis was a liar.
>He told me Louis was on parole for 2 felonies.
>He told me he knew why.
>He told me one time, Louis got Collin really drunk.
>Louis started touching Collin, and made him do other things.
>Collin didnt tell me specifics, but after almost 10 years, i knew that son of a bitch fucking raped my friend while he was drunk. Collin didnt even have to say it.
>Collin said he doesnt remember a whole lot, but he was always drunk when Louis would take advantage of him.
>He told me he thought it was like a bad dream or like Louis was just fucking around until his mom called him at work last week.
>He went to his house and saw his 16 year old brother crying next to his dad.
>He walked over, his dad made him read an article about how Louis had raped 2 other times.
>He told me Louis had also molested his brother.
>He told me he almost killed Louis.
>and then he started laughing, he told me he was "too broken to cry"
>He told me over and over again, "Im not gay anon, im not gay!"
>He wouldnt stop talking about how he could never have a normal relationship with someone ever again.
>He wasnt Collin anymore. It was heartbreaking.
I want my friend back /b/. Ive been hurting since he told me.
>>710319527
Jesus, interpunction anon..
It's a bad idea, you're both gonna go through changes.
>>710319922
that really sucks. i once told a close friend that i want to die and he got pissed at me for thinking like that. asked me to snap out of it.
ever since i realized that people don't really wanna see the real you.
Best friend died on February 6, 2014.
>be me
>7th grade, week after winter break
> pipe burst in school, so we were out Tuesday after
>friend was grounded from phone and sick, so he just played on his PS3 all day
Anyways
>Monday the 5th or 6th, whatever the fuck that terrible day was
>go home
>play COD 4 with him and other friend
>hear screams from his younger sister in background
>"I gotta get off for a little bit"
>he mutes his mic
Continue?
>>710316846
What happend? Also what field?
I admitted my feelings for a qt swiss girl that I've been talking to for months.
Now she just leaves me on seen
I pray for death
>>710320360
I've had close friends tell me things like that.
Picked up my best friend from the side of the traintracks.
I talk and listen and objectively relativate issues like no other. But i can't let people see that the person that has been so strong all these years, the rock they use to stay adrift is actually more messed up than any of them.
I need to believe in the lie, or i will drown.
quads get
>>710318224
if youre serious sure.
Mr_Prezz_fbta
>be me
>be young 7-8
>have cat
>love cat
>one night walk up behind him to pet him
>he gets scared
>jumps up and scratches deep above my eye
>almost claws eye out but realises not to fast enough
>crying
>dickhead dad throws cat against wire fence
>cat gets hurt
>years later cat becomes my best friend
>he starts acting weird
>starts walking weird
>everyone thinks he has brain damage
>has all five signs of having dimentia over 15
>he is only 9
>know that he will die soon
>still love him and care for him
>know that he will die because of me
>know that my best friend is going to die because of me
>>710305266
>be 18 y/o me
>senior year of highschool
>meet popular girl in class who's a solid 9/10
>pic related looks kind of like her but obviously less model-like
>she has a boyfriend of 2 years
>we get along pretty well right off the bat
>we spend a lot of time together with other friends around and she's in one of my classes
>year goes on, we're really close now
>have a huge crush on her now
>one night we were drinking at my house with a couple other friends
>we go off alone, she wants me to play piano
>start playing
>she sits next to me
>suddenly she kisses me
>holyfuckingshit.jpg
>we end up fucking that night once everyone else leaves
>feel on top of the world
>she doesn't seem to mind that much about her bf
>hook up more throughout the summer but lowkey because she doesn't want to get caught cheating
>end up going to the same university as her in the fall
>she lives in a suite with 12 girls so our hookups have to be careful
>one night i'm drunk and tell her i love her
>she says i can't and that i'm just drunk
>insist its the truth
>forget the rest of that night
cont
>>710321310
Yes
>>710320578
Continue
>>710319996
Here's a pity (you), anon.
I mean, sad story, but it took you long enough to get to the fucking point
>>710308673
Do you have any money saved up? If you have no bills, travel on a budget for a few months. This type of soul searching works, trust me.
I've been getting obsessed by seeing people as just a bunch of chemicals and some memory storage.
Noone including me feels like a person anymore.
I'll continue anyway
>his dad comes home heated sometimes, so he usually hangs out with him to calm him down
>we back out to the MP menu, waiting for him to get back
>1 hour later
>bedtime was 9, so we had to get off
Next morning, Tuesday. The pipe broke because it froze and burst, so we were off that day.
>go to see if friend is on
>he is still shown as being on the COD 4 MP menu
>invite him into a party
>"must be sleeping still'"
>Play games until about 5:30, then get off to eat and do homework
Cont?
>>710320578
don't leave us hanging
>>710321994
Yes
>be me, 22, KLV
>see a cute girl in class and can't take my eyes off her
>she looks over and i quickly look away, hoping she didn't notice me staring
>a while later, class ends and everyone starts to leave
>want to get out of there asap, desperately hope she didn't see me
>almost out the door when someone grabs my arm
>turn head
>it's her
>"wait... what's your name"
>whatishappening.png
>tell her my name, she tells me hers
>tells me to wait a second, takes a notebook out, quickly jots down a number and hands the paper to me
>"see you around, anon"
>she walks out
>holding the paper, shocked
>watch her walk over to a couple of her friends, smiling
>it's kind of cold
>look down at paper
>the numbers have changed from before
>it feels really cold
>open eyes
>see my computer
>notice my blanket was kicked off in my sleep
>walk over to window and close it
>don't know whether to be angry or depressed that my dreams are like that now
>go back to bed
>never had a gf, all the girls I asked out didn't want to
>meet girl, new at school
>we start talking
>we like the same stuff and she's really cute
>no bf because she went through a bad breakup a few months ago
>She wants to go out with my friend
>he tells her no
>she wants to go out with some other guy
>he says no
>I ask her out, she says "we can try"
>only girl to ever not say no immediately
>get hope
Hope is the worst way to crush your soul.
>too tired to go to dance with her
>tell her I feel she's been ignoring me lately >(she has)
>"Oh I'm just tired" she tells me
>ask her out to a restaurant
>planned for friday
>sees her holding hands and flirting with another guy
>told me she didn't want a real relationship after her breakup
>she lied to me, lead me on
>usually we all sit at lunch together
>today she leaves, meets him outside school
The only one to say yes and she pulls this shit on me.
Should I talk to her about it or never speak with her again?
I'm kinda in the high level friendzone, basically around 5th on her list of guys
L
>>710322440
call her out on her behavior, idiot. are you seriously just gonna take that?
>>710321310
>i spend a lot of time at her suite chilling with all of them for the first month
>her bf came up a couple times, had to pretend like nothing was going on with me and her
>he didn't know im pretty sure
>fast forward to end of september of first year uni
>one night we go out to dinner with a few other friends
>that night we get drunk
>go to her room when everyone's asleep, we start hooking up
>both of us are drunk as fuck
>start fucking, i don't really know what happens after but next thing i know i'm walking back to my own dorm and get a phone call from one of her roommates
>she's asking why the girl (forgot to establish a name for her. let's call her kayla) is passed out on her bed with no pants on
>oshit.jpeg
>make some shit up, saying that i don't know
>they know i was in kayla's room before leaving
>they don't know i've been hooking up with her for like 6 months
>tfw it looks like i just raped her
>pass out in my own room and wake up to a text from her
>"lose my number. we're done"
>just like that
>start trying to talk it through
>she blames me for everything
>heart is crushed, i actually do love her
>says that i raped her
>tells everyone that i raped her
>everyone hates me
>and i mean everyone. went from having a great time to having absolutely no one
>didn't make friends in my own dorm because i was always at hers
>she unfollows me on all social media, never texts me again
>i spend the rest of first year alone in my room (no roommate), literally never leaving except to shower and go to class like twice a week
>get mono somehow and become deathly ill
>the mono gives me horrific acne
>can't even bear to look in the mirror
>cut off all contact to the outside world
cont
>>710321994
Wednesday morning, breakfast
>"hey anon, why isn't he here today?"
> "idk man, fever probably spiked"
Go on with day as normal, still keeping his well-being in my mind
>Wednesday night
>he is still on the MP menu
> now we're concerned
He usually plays 3-4 hours a day when he doesn't have football practice, so this worries us.
> play on as usual, still wondering if there's something wrong.
Cont?
>>710306959
I feel anon, let's hang out
>>710322733
Cont.
>>710322932
Yes
>Be me, 10 year old anon
>Nothing but good intentions
>Experience my first crush
>We catch little frogs together
>We hold hands and give them names
>Her favorite singer has bright blue hair
>I dye my hair bright blue and sing for her
>She always shares her apples with me
>She kissed me on the cheek some times
>Happiest little anon ever
>She cancels on more and more froggy-days
>Im sitting at home thinking of her
>Phone rings
>We can't be boy and girlfriend anymore
>Ask her why
>She makes a weird sound and hangs up
>Somethings wrong!
>Time to show her i care
>Write the cringiest loveletter ever
>Burn off the sides
>Buy a red and golden lace with my mom
>Roll the letter up
>Put the lace around the letter
>I'm going to give it to her at lunchtime
>Hopes up, chin forward
>I walk into the lunch area
>Ready to hand it to her
>Here it goes
>There she is
>Carefully sorting out pieces of apple
>Look besides her
>Another boy gets handed a slice of apple
I still have the letter
>>710306959
I feel you bro, almost all my life ive had epilepsy and i take depakote for it and i feel a shit ton of symtoms but i try to brush em off cause i dont want to be taking anymore meds, anyways, all the way from elementary school to middle school i was the cool class clown that got along with everyone, then i went to a highschool seperate from all my friends, shortly after i started school i found myself in a bunch of shit i knew nothing about, fake people, smoking, drinking, and all that. Etc from the start till my junior year i got no pussy mainly cause i was a bitch and didnt want to commit and wanted to be a "player" and everyone saw right thru me, so here i am a graduate who has no plans works at a pizzeria and smokes weed all day, i feel like shit sometimes but these types of threads let me know i aint alone, thanks anons
>>710322733
>grades slipping
>think about suicide every day
>actually tried to hang myself once just to see what it was like
>pussied out last minute when i was starting to lose consciousness
>become an alcoholic
>start wondering if i was actually in the wrong, if i was to blame
>feel guilt, sadness and anger all the time
>one night i got so drunk i destroyed everything in my room in a fit of rage, woke up the next morning with broken furniture and glass everywhere with no recollection of what happened
>finally after a painful 8 months or so it's summer
>acne has gotten better, starting to look and feel better
>still fucked up from being isolated in a 10x10 room for 8 months
>haven't had any female attention since kayla
>make plans to chill with friends one day
>everyone bails except my best friend's ex gf who he still clearly loves
>we end up together in a house with only a couple other people
>she's coming onto me, feel immensely torn on what to do
>end up going home with her and we fuck
>immediate regret
>however at the same time i feel fantastic
>she kind of even looks like kayla
>feel nothing for her though
>i try to, i even hold her all night to feel something but i can't. i realize i'm just picturing her as kayla.
>keep hooking up throughout that summer, figure no one will find out
>boy was i wrong
>end up at a party with bunch of friends, we all crash in one room
>my best friend who's ex it is is in the room too
>her and i start hooking up
cont
>>710322649
The guy she's been holding hands with has this really ugly hair. Shaved around the ears, mullet on top, like forrest gump if he was in lynryd skynyrd.
He's also poor as fuck.
i'm thinking of paying him $120 to shave his head, and only paying if I get to watch.
That will establish me as alpha and remove what she loves about him, this ugly ass haircut.
>>710323920
Cont.
>>710322932
Thursday
The day
>Wake up, check my friends list
>he is still on the menu
> really worried now
> hasn't answered my texts from past two days
>school goes by relatively quickly
6:38 pm.
> phone call from teacher
She's also my mom's best friend
>"what's wrong, Mrs. Anon?"
>she's near hysteria right now
>"listen to me. DAnon is dead."
My mind just ceases at that moment. I had no expression, no emotion but one word.
>"why."
Continuing
>be me
>lowkey sociopath, one day decide to look for a girlfriend to seem more normal
>friend's friend has a 7/10 friend who likes anime, MGS, and Mortal Kombat, Doctor Who and is really fucking cute
>we go out for three months, and I started having genuine feelings for her
>even meet her parents and everything
>this is the girl for me
>one day out of the blue, she sees me and is acting nervous, quickly leaves
>my friend tells me she left because she couldn't tell me herself that she wanted to break up
>reason why is because her old boyfriend moved back to town, she loves him more
>my fucking heart sinks
>the Valentine's gifts I got for her came that day, and looking at them makes me want to hang myself
>I decide to keep them because she doesn't love me
>couple weeks later my beard friend invites me to his birthday party, fat asshole friend shows up
>skypes my ex and tries to get me in the frame
>super pissed, but I resist urge to knock the shit out of him
>go home and text her a long apology for completely ignoring her for the past few weeks
>she sends a sentence long reply, but we're good
>I'm stupid enough to think she loves me, buy her more anime stuff and give her the Valentine's gifts
>she shows up with her boyfriend who looks like a fuckboy
>fuckmylife.jpeg
>we haven't spoken since
>>710318581
Thats terrible anon but keep fighting if not for your self at least for your daughters and wife. I wish I could say something better but I feel for you. One of my close friends had something similar happen to him he's never been the same since. Keep fighting for whats left even if its only your self
>>710324173
keep going
>Always hesitant about expressing feelings about girls I like. Rejected badly before so it takes a lot for me to open up
>Met girl in dorm, share same interests, she seems cool
>Spend most of semester so far hanging out, eating together, going to school events etc
>She seems responsive to flirting
>Probably the closest I've ever been to a "sure thing" relationship wise.
>Fast forward ~2 weeks ago I finally nut up and ask her out officially
>She says "she's not ready to be in a relationship"
>Not even a fucking week later she "met someone"
>typical faggot pretty boy type complete with lolsorandumb xDD sense of humor
>Hurts like a bitch every time I see them together
I'm just fucking tired of getting bullshitted with. If she was just honest for one second and said she wasn't interested I probably wouldn't be mad. But instead she lied to my fucking face and has the nerve to still try and text me like we're still good. Because fuck me right if I don't want to go out while she flaunts her new fuckbuddy. I know I probably shouldn't be mad at the guy but I just want to bash his face in every time I hear him talk. I'd have cut her off completely if she didn't live in the same dorm. I'm just...pissed man. They can both go rot.
>I realized today that none of my friends are actually my friends
>I'm stuck in a situation where I don't know what to do
>I'm afraid to leave my "friends" and start new
>I'm afraid I wont get a third chance
>My family's starting to fall apart little by little
>I'm losing sleep
>I bottle up emotions
>I'm starting to become numb
>I say to my self "it's just a phase like it usually is"
>It's been like this for many years
>>710323920
>i look over to my left
>vaguely see my best friend starting at us through the darkness
>immediate dread
>immediately stop what we're doing
>fuck i hope he didn't see
>next morning comes, he calls our whole group of friends into one room
>he explains what he saw
>i'm literally lost for words
>don't even know what to do
>feel so many things. guilt, regret, dread, embarrassment, sadness
>go outside and smoke a cigarette
>go home
>don't see friends all summer long
>only see his ex (ella)
>hook up sometimes, still never feel anything for her
>eventually stop seeing her
>another year passes
>i have literally no friends, school or at home
>i have no one
>it's all my fault
>can never forgive myself for the shitty things i've done to other people
>become incredibly depressed, anxious
>hate myself
>constantly live in the past
>started doing cocaine to help deal with the pain and it's bleeding me dry
>wish i could go back and do things again
>i used to have the perfect life, and i fucked it all up
>still think about kayla every day.
>>710321657
Im not bro anon, but eat shit dude.
>>710318581
Damn it anon, keep on going!
>>710307965
Test
>>710324173
>Friday morning
>school is a fucking nightmare
> no classes, just mourning
> the entire city retires his and his sister's numbers
>doing fine now, still remember him and tear up a little
By the way anons, this is real.
His name is Daniel Garcia. His sister is Kayla. His father came home that Monday night and shot them, and then turned the gun on himself. His mom arrived Thursday afternoon after an argument, and found them.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/wsbtv.relaymedia.com/amp/news/local/man-2-kids-found-dead-inside-carroll-co-home/138222535?client=safari
End
>>710308841
Also train track method will traumatize the train driver. Dont do that bro youre better than that
I lose more and more control my thoughts and actions anymore and i'm really scared.
>>710306959
This is literally my life story. Except I haven't been playing csgo that long.
>>710317873
I lost my second guinea pig (I've been keeping them since I was 3 or 4) to my stepfather's/mother's basset hound. I found the piggy's foot in my yard, man. The dog got sick and died from eating the guinea pig, but I can't take solace from that any more.
One of the two guinea pigs I have right now is one that I've had for several years. He's healthy as can be, but he's one of the oldest I've ever had, if not the very oldest. If the typical seven-year life expectancy is true, he's going to pass away right after I graduate and move far, far away from where I am now. I know he's just a little guinea pig, but taking care of the little guy is pretty much the only thing I really look forward to every day.
I'll probably end it all when that happens. I'll be far off enough that my family will think I just stopped contacting them, hopefully. I'm very tired.
>age 14, parents start arguing all the time
>pray for them to stop, was a christian
>2 weeks later moms right hand stops working
>she gets diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis
>She is in hospital for 8 months
>finally gets to come home
>parents stop fighting
>she was major breadwinner
>were poor as fuck
>parents try to buy a new house that is more open for her wheelchair
>15, I leave my public school and start attending online homeschool, because im the only one that can take care of her for free
>only outlets are skateboarding and games
>smoke alot of fucking weed, helps me not feel
>get caught with weed, on probation, cant smoke
>mood swings fuck with me, and cant sleep
>would end it but no one would be able to take care of mom
>stuck in life.
>>710306959
This is my life story almost exactly, the only difference is that I've only recently discovered csgo.
>>710306959
We're all here for you anon
>be me
>2 years outta high school
>haven't spoken to any of my highschool friends in months
>go to college, come home, do homework, browse /b/
>that's been my entire life for months
>all i do for "fun" is get high and drunk by myself
>post on feels threads because it's the only time I feel like anybody is listening
>it's the only time i feel like I can be myself
>>710326427
anon, your /b/rothers are here to listen.
Okay guys like 3 months ago I cheated on my gf with my stepsister and I felt insane guilt and most of you told me not to tell her and the guilt would mostly fade and it did until rn I feel so fucking shitty is this what the rest of my life is
Ive just been fucking miserable these past few months.
>lonely
>never been in a relationship
>virgin
>never been been
I've been trying my hardest to have sex with my oneitis just so I can feel some sort of intimacy in my life. We have become really close and shes the knly girl ive really felt ckmfortable around. Starting to realize that this will probably never happen, she doesn't feelings for me like that
>>710327108
Never been loved****
>>710326985
Have you admitted it to someone else that can keep the secret with you? This has helped me.
And trust me i have worse secrets than cheating on a girl.
>>710327108
>she doesn't feelings for me like that
Christian Bale
Equilibrium
>bale struggling with emotion
>>710319996
There are some sick fucks in the world, even sicker than us.
My condolences, Anon.
>>710327267
Yes, I told my best friend the next day, he too had done something similar and told me to just not tell her
I plan on being with her the rest of my life and I know to her it's not even a real thing so she thinks I'm perfect and blah blah so I can still make her happy like she deserves but fuck me i just wish I could tell her and she could forgive me but idk if she would forgive me bc idk if i would forgive her so it's just fucked
>I spend 30 minutes every morning just sitting on my bed contemplating if I even want to go on
>be me, 21, klv
>ever since i was a kid i've had an interest in romance
>always been sort of effeminate, prone to having strong emotions and displaying them
>like reading shoujo (manga with a target demographic usually of females 10-18 or so, emphasis on romance and girly stuff)
>never been in a real relationship, klv
>completely incompetent at talking to girls my age
>keep crushing on people and it only makes it worse because then i really can't talk to them
>ask others what i should do, usually get told that i'm too effeminate and people think i'm gay
>not manly enough to attract women, not gay either so don't want to attract men
>probably going to be klv forever when all i want in the world is a romance of my own
>be me
>almost a year hanging out with her
>feels like were in relationship but were really not
>one day we got mad at each other
>almost weeks we havent talked
>talked to one of our friends
>told my secrets that my girl doesnt know
>brain.exe stop responding
>weeks later were back again hanging out again
>week later she told me she would hang out with her friend the one i talked to
>told her not to but she insist
>the bitch snitched me
>after that she sent a chat saying i cannot hang out with you anymore
>feeling alone
>feeling suicidal but im a pussy thinking that next year ill be graduating in college
>i dont know if i will go on or just let myself die
>>710327600
What's the reason you cheated?
>>710328143
I wasn't able to see her for months and I was drinking and smoking weed a lot and I had myself convinced me and her were over anyways and I was incredibly horny due to not seeing her in months
I'm a disgusting piece of shit for existing
>>710324515
Thanks. Things are getting better started going to the gym more doing things to keep my mind off everything. It's just crazy how fast you can go from everything to nothing.
>>710324425
>Lowkey sociopath
>Started having genuine feelings for her
Whatever you say you wannabe edgelord you.
>>710327754
There's somebody out there for you anon. Just keep trying!
The key to dealing with personal faults that get in the way of your goals is to outsmart them.
To me it sounds like your anxiety is causing you to black out in critical situations. Maybe you can practice by training with hypothetical situations so you have something to fall back on when you're lost for words!
>>710305266
I came to the understanding that life is suffering. I will work with what I have. I have accepted death as the ultimate end for all of us. But I choose to be happy and will not be a dick to people.
>>710328282
Don't blame the drugs, it was you. What made you think it was over anyways?
Went on a date for the first time in years last week.
Went real well, saw a movie, walked to the beach after, made out for a while then dropped her home after.
Text her for a couple days after and now she hasn't said anything for 2 weeks.
I'm also a fifth of whiskey a night alcoholic who's about to move out of sober living and I can't think of a reason not to drink other than that I haven't been drinking for a long time.
I'm 25 years old and except for the last 7 months I've spent every night for the last 7 years drinking as much as I possibly could.
Felt good then, feels bad now.
>>710328865
No the drugs just made me feel like shit 24/7 and feel like it was going to end
And I guess it was just that I couldn't see or talk to her so i felt like she was going to change and move on and we wouldn't work out in the end
>>710328935
You're seretonine levels got boosted and you let yourself go. Give yourself some time to regenerate your brain /b/ro, start fighting your other problems after... one by one, bit by bit.
>Losing mind to schizophrenia
>Getting worse
>Scared of imaginary man that follows me and watches me while I sleep
>Care about other people's well being more than anything else
>Have violent thoughts more and more
>Scared of hurting people
>So alone
>So fucking alone
heres one
>be me junior in hs
>awkward, not many friends, im the kind of guy whos just invisible to everybody
>theres this girl lets call her A
>known her since 6th grade
>smart nerdy and an easy 8/10 in junior year
>ive watched her date complete assholes throuout all of highshool
>inb4 i dont have nice guy syndrome
>she has been cheated on more times than i could count and hit before so these are genuine assholes
>homecoming is in 2 weeks and i dont have a date
>planning to sit at home and play csgo drunk
>find out that A just broke up with her boyfriend
>she got fucking cheated on by this 6,4 chad
>i get her number from stalking her old ask fm account
>text her and ask if she wants to go with me
>she fucking says yes
>I flip shit and tell my mom
>moms eyes light up when she hears
>my dad died a few years ago to a drunk driver so its just me and my mom and it kills her to see her only son waste his life away lonely and depressed
>This is the first time ive been to any school activities in years
>my mom dresses me up, rents a tux, she pays for everything
>meet A at the dance
>shes fucking gorgeous
>she had on a red dress that parts on one leg idk what its called
>specifically remember these pretty earrings she had on she mentioned them sometime during the commotion of being there
>Dance starts winding down theres a last slow song
>this is fucking crazy for a kissless virgin
>next day she texts me
>told me there was a bonfire at her house but i wasnt answering my phone
>realize thats why she left with her friends
>i may have made the biggest whoopsie of my life
>tell her that im so sorry wish i could have ect..
>"thats fine anon well just have to hang out another time :)"
want me to keep going i pretyped these
Hey /b/
>have overnight job that doesn't pay well
>broke up with the only girl that meant something to me for no reason other than I push people away
>everything feels pointless
>I don't even have desire to play vidya any more
Been thinking about buying a gun and just blowing my top off
I mean why try if there is no reason to?
I'm in crippling debt,I'm loosing weight because I can't pay for food.
And I sleep holding on to her shirt because it smells like her.
God I'm an idiot.
I just want to stop feeling
Had no other pic on my phone
So here is oc
Idc.
>4 images
>more words than could be typed
>>710329863
if you're going to kill yourself
DO IT RIGHT
>http://imgur.com/a/Z5mEB
>>710329227
Then admit everything.
As far as cheating goes, you're reasons felt real and you lost yourself. You made some shit decisions by not allowing her to prevent your thoughts and actions from escalating.
Break down, cry and beg for forgiveness. Then spend a few months being ultraboyfriend so the shitty memory you will create in her head will at least have some good intention attached to it. Hell, tell her you'll allow her to fuck another dude (she probably won't anyway, it's the thought that counts), If you love her and you feel like she deserves it, give her ultimate honesty in every way.
The truth always wins one way or the other, i've learned this the hard way.
>>710329807
>
continue.
>>710330284
But even if I tell her, isn't there just a better possibility she will cheat on me since I did it to her first?
>>710330284
>>710330521
And to add on to this, every time for the rest of my life something happens between us she'll bring it up
That I'm the asshole, I'm the one who cheated, stuff like that
cont...
>fast forward a week
>she tells me that her her and her friends were going to a movie and asks if I want to come
>holyfuckingshit.png
>i get to her house
>she tells me that her friends cancelled and if i still want to go
>me and my only crush going to movies
>at this point i just nod and agree with anything she says becasue anything is say comes out as if i had fucking tourettes
>spaghettiinpocket.gif
>she gets in my car and tell me where to go
>we go to the movie
>she never even looked what was playing so we choose at the desk
>i say i dont care
>she says fucking SAW VII
>okay
>we watch the movie
>being a huge faggot i was terrified
>i look over at A
>she is fucking smiling
>this bitch got a fucking hard on for horror
>halfway through she puts her hand on my thigh and I almost nut my pants
>the movie ends and i go to drop her back off
>"that was really fun anon thanks"
>she kisses me on the cheek and walks inside
>i stand there
>it must have been like 3 minutes because she looked out her window and there i was
>standing there
>fast forward to senior year
>she is the lvoe of my life
>you always think that your first love is gonna last forever
>it doesnt
>A starts acting wierd
>she doesnt talk as much
>not as happy
>think her dog died or something
>nope
>she breaks down in my arms when im over at her house
>she was diagnosed with late stage leukemia
>she starts treatment, her hair falls out and she gets frail and weak
>she loses interest in many of her favorite hobbies
>no more vidya and cuddling and she gets mad if im near her
>one day like a little bitch i am I start crying and getting angry
>tell her i love her and demand she tells me whats wrong
>her doctor gave her a month to live
>that was 2 weeks ago
>I cry
>she cries
>we fall asleep together
2/3
>>710330521
You cheated on her first! You gave her the power to have this leverage on you.
>>710330637
The fact that your struggling so much with the guilt tells me you will keep telling yourself this aswell. If you're not cold-hearted enough this will haunt you and break you down.
It's a tough decision anon, both options are shit in a different way.. You just have to decide which option sounds less horrible and learn to cope.
>>710319996
Daaamn.
>>710331152
It's like this is the one single fucked thing
Our relationship obviously has some minor shitpoints but overall it's just absolutely perfect but for this one thing right here it's totally fucked and I don't know if this one thing is fucked enough for it to all end
