When's the last time you had sex?
December 14th 1998
>>709844157
2 weeks ago
>>709844157
never
Not once in my 32 years.
>>709844157
about 11 years ago
>>709844157
Never
Oct 9th, 2016. Going home again Nov 9th, prob getting laid everyday from the 10th to 13th.
>>709844157
girls are full of themselves so i cant get laid. not lucky enough for girls to like me.
>>709844157
Never
never
probably never will
it feels like going to a birthday party, and everyone has a slice of cake, but by the time it's your turn there's no cake left
November 2014.
yesterday
i think 2 years ago?
Oct. 9th guy here, for all those saying they never will, dw dudes, I thought the same thing for years, then it happened. I mean I'm only 18 and I understand that a lot of you are much older, but just hold out, don't give up, and be confident.
This morning.
>>709844157
in my dreams
>>709844157
1829 years ago
almost 1 year ago
november 2015
>>709844157
yesterday morning. I toyed her ass with a vibrator while we fucked and then came at the same time. She's so good to me.
At about 4:00 this afternoon.
>>709844157
2 or 3 weeks
Last tuesday.
She's getting fat so we might stop fucking
>>709844157
9 months before you were born
>>709844617
Fuck off.
there can't be that many people here that can't get laid.
post why without stupid thing you're telling yourself like >>709844476
>>709844157
Today. I did it outside
I'm >>709839217
>>709844157
2008
Swore it off after that.
>>709844617
Did that for 28 years. Don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Fuck you, and fuck hope. Hope never did a good fucking thing in my life.
I've given up on getting laid in life.
It don't matter anyway. None of this matters.
>>709844684
yes but when
Fucked my wife two days ago. Was watching NFL game and she had just finished working out. Always love seeing her in her skin tight exercise gear.
Met her at the door of our room and she asked if I could do her which I'm thinking the same thing.
She had just gotten off her period so we wasted no time. She likes me standing with her legs on my shoulders while she also fingers herself.
She came in about 2-3 min. then ordered me to cum inside her. Was mega diamonds at this point so railed her for a bit then nutted inside.
She says that was awesome and needed it. Shit was cash. We should be fucking again tonight too.
>>709844157
May 16th this year with some fat girl
2 hours ago. Didn't cum. Now i'm home with my dick in my hand browsing 4chan
>>709844311
At least you got dubs
>>709844157
When I was 11 so about 18 ish years ago.
>>709844936
Get a DS-DollSweet sex doll and experience the next best thing man. First hand experience talking.
>>709844157
About 8 hours ago.
Fuck Buddy, sucked me off rode my dick, came inside, then we ate pizza, good times.
last night. waiting for gf to come over in her costume now. i should hide my cam and stream it so you faggots have some oc to fap to
>>709844157
Never I'm very insecure. I have had chances but I can't seem to do it. I don't have ED but i can't seem to get it up for sex. Yet I can jack off no problem.
About 2 weeks ago. We just had a baby. Went from twice a week to once a month. Wich sucks because my wife is still hot as fuck
>>709845120
No offense but I'd rather shoot myself or spend some money on an actual hooker before I buy a giant doll.
>>709845216
tfw you die full of pointless regret
>>709845216
its just nerves friend need to calm down is all
>>709845180
pls
>>709844157
About 2 years ago
this morning, but im married
>>709844157
3 days ago
A few hours ago
>>709844157
Last Saturday, can't seem to organise a repeat though
Last weekend
5 Hours ago
>>709844936
fuck off carl
>5 years ago
>i was 14
>she wasn't even awake
About 15 minutes ago
8 days ago. Scheduled again for today.
This morning
>>709844936
Hookers are a thing. Just saying.
3 days ago
>>709844936
It's because you're a pussy. Get out there and be a cool motherfucker and get laid.
30 minutes ago if handjobs count, otherwise two days ago
Between 8 and 9 years ago
>>709844157
july last year im now 19 jacking off helps a bit but not much.
>>709844157
4 days ago. Gf transitioning as we speak so maybe a week to a month before everyday sex begins again.
>>709844476
litterally so beta.
Just relax and fucking fake every aspect of who you are and youll get laid. theres hit bitches for hit men. adjust your standards. or go be a power bottom. that way you always have the getting laid thing on lock
>>709844490
the world never runs out of pussy, and anyone can take it. Since life began on this planet your ancestors have all smashed pussy in some form or another. there needent be a reason the cycle ends with you.
>>709844157
Last February, pic related
I honestly don't get why everyone is so obsessed with sex.
>>709848219
I've seen potatoes with better picture quality.
>>709844157
Three weeks. Had a significant drop lately. Before that was once a week or so. I'm only 25 for fucks sake and she's younger but we have a kid and she gets in moods. Doesn't want to when I do but tonight she did and I turned her down basically because I wanted to show her I can turn it down too. So now she can wait another week or however long. I beat off so I could care less at this point. To be honest I think I'm losing interest in her. Been with her for four years going on five.
>>709844236
Is that when you were born?
>>709844490
It's because your standards are too damn high your partner doesn't have be a 10/10. Lower your damn standards and stop acting like the world is going against you, it's going against all of us. LEARN TO SURVIVE FAGGOT
>>709847262
Fuck that, spend 20 bucks and get a couple hits of LSD... much more enjoyable
Some time around June 20th of this year. So 4 months ago?
>>709844157
3 weeks ago when my girlfriend came over to visit
>>709844157
3 days ago
>>709848800
Hits? lol tabs.
nice dubs btw
>>709844157
I've been saving my virginity for God so I will be blessed during my crusade against the Muslims
Roughly 2 years ago. Cunt cheated on me and I haven't sought a relationship since then. Your hand doesn't nag and you don't have to buy it shit. Sex is overrated anyway.
>>709849392
Yes, this is what I meant, and thank you
>>709849738
Godspeed, anon.
>>709849867
/thread
>>709848781
nice projecting
i literally could not care who my partner was as long as she wasn't a psycho but i guess that's too much to ask
>>709844157
going on 3 yrs
love of my life but when I finally moved in with her she was a fucking bitch
single now and don't even give a fuck I do whatever I want
>>709844157
Last night
>>709847262
honestly if I don't get laid in the next year i'm just gonna spend a week in nevada getting fucked lol
>>709844157
last night. didn't cum but she did. jerked off today to /b/ porn threads to get back on top o' my game.
>>709844850
i dont go out and have no money
>>709844157
2002 i am dead inside everything inside me is black goo
>>709844701
Ha, January 3rd 2016 for me. Fucking loser...
>>709850272
Same but I don't go to school and self confidence issues
Im going to get my dick sucked tonight by my gf, losers
Valentines night . And it was the valentines night before that also
2005 or 2006..
>>709850597
Suck being married, doesn't it?
9 years ago. I think I'm celibate now. Women are assholes.
>>709844157
2 days ago
>>709850541
What did you name her?
>>709844157
Fuuuuuck, good question.
I'm usually somewhere around once a month when I stay in this town, but I've been in a long distance relationship with some virgin girl who won't have pre-maritals (religious shit), so the last time would've had to have been sometime in August, I believe. Maybe July, but I fucked her twice in the same two-hour span, so I'll go ahead and count that hookup for two months.
>>709850727
Severe depression
>>709850881
lol
>>709844157
Never have but if i ever do hell might freeze over
>>709844157
Hmm.. 6 hours ago and 11 hours ago..
>>70984497
Enjoy this bro. I hope it'll last forever for you guys.
Me:2-3 wks ago with wife (we've been married for 8 yrs). As boring, generic and dissatisfying as it gets. We'll probably have a go in a couple weeks. Maybe.
>>709850731
same month, also a long distance relationship. Are you me?
so many of you don't know what lack of sex does to your mental state. it makes you think of dying everyday. if you get to fuck a girl i hope you know you're lucky even if you think you're in a bad relationship
>>709851082
I got with a virgin girl I met on a video game. She's actually pretty hot. Her parents are loaning me money to go to college so thats cool
>>709844157
A day ago. Don't get as many chances to do the gf lately. It was ok, gave me less crappy than usual head, got her off, got myself off then crashed.
>>709844157
I'm a virgin :(
>>709851090
He's right. The key to emotional stability is balance. In food, contacts, communication, exercise and yes, sex.
>>709844157
2days ago
>>709850597
Broke up from ltr about 6 months before that. I could be pounding 2 or 3 on the regular but I am fussy with who I feed the javelin to so my dick has been dry a while. Hopefully something good is in the horizon, I can kinda feel it coming. lol
Last week.
>>709844157
April or May.
I sort of lost track between listening to Bon Jovi on replay and draining down bourbon.
Fucking cunt broke my heart. I haven't been the same. Dated around some, but I haven't gotten to sealing the deal with anyone. Shit still hurts too much.
>>709851082
Does your girl actually fuck you, instead of teasing you really really badly, then getting pissed when you go jack off in the bathroom, and accusing you of cheating if you tell her not to?
>>709844157
30 year old virgin lol.
>>709851296
This is more truth than most of the neckbearded, neet people in in this thread can comprehend
2008-ish.
Just got out of a serious relationship and she really fucked me up. Fucked my best friend after a family member committed suicide. Couldn't find work for a year and INSANE debt and couldn't finish college.
Sex is fun but after getting it regularly in a relationship a few years it's not something that should be on the top of your list. Jerking off is like 80% as good as sex and is absolutely free.
Just don't give a fuck about it now and if it ever gets to become unbearable like a teen sex comedy I'll just find an escort.
June 2014, although i get my dick sucked biweekly
>>709848382
I know that feel. Married 10 years and she's too tired after the kids wear her out. Porns better at this point.
Almost a year ago.
>>709851468
Nope, that's fucked. You should talk with her about that. Communication is very important. If you're both in it to win, then you can both work out a way to improve your situation, it'll take effort, so hopefully she's worth it.
20 hours ago
pic related
>>709844242
Me too
>>709844157
Bout 4 hours ago, nutted inside, no pill, prob gonna be a dad. Wish me luck boiz
>>709844157
about 6 months ago.
I'm /fit/ & gay, yet all the guys around my area on grindr are just unattractive. This should be easy for my kind.
I'd rather use my toy than get laid over here.
Over two months ago.
>>709846658
yeah sure.
>>709852710
That's a nice ass, got anymore pics?
>>709844157
50 minutes ago
last week.
april 2014
>>709853276
Thursday. Last time with my ex. Back to the field I go.
>>709853276
she's my little 18yo slut
>>709844157
About to be in 39 seconds
>>709844157
august 2 years ago
august 2011
:-(
>>709844157
Yesturday
>>709844157
April
>>709844978
>She likes me standing with her legs on my shoulders while she also fingers herself.
Dude .. wut?
>>709844978
>wife
>doesnt empty his load into her every 6 hours
what are you, gay or something?
>>709852371
haha
>lays there like a dead fish
is this necrophelia orr?
but rlly tho you're just not attractive to her anymore
Never.
Since April 21th
>>709854365
>>709854559
Did you fuck each other?
>>709854621
Mexifag here >>709854559 I fucked a Mexican girl so I guess I didn't fuck this dude >>709854365
Never.
Last time I had a blowjob was in June. Last time I ate out my ex was in August before she broke up with me a week later. We were virgins by choice.
>>709849867
>Sex is overrated anyway.
nice delusions
its more exciting to fuck a real girl trust me. You don't even have to have a relationship, there are plenty of sluts and manipulating them isn't all that hard anyways
Any full bodies?>>709853885
>>709844157
Friday night, and will again in the morning. feelgreatman.png
>>709852487
Eh, I don't even know if she likes anything I like, and if I'm gonna fuck with anything super long term, I'm gonna be lookin' for a best friend that I can fuck, ya know?
>>709844157
About a year of 5 ago, was my last gf too. Then I stopped trying and never really felt like missing out. Seriously, why do the virgins among us think it's so important to fuck a chick? I did, sex was just sex, a slightly better form of fapping. Girl broke my heart and then I said to myself: this isn't worth it. Believe me, you aren't missing out on much, sex isn't a holy grail or something. You should enjoy the freedom of being on your own and if you feel that you do need a kick you can always use certain drugs to simulate that warm and tingly after-sex feeling of seratonine release and it will last even longer.
>>709855353
This
>>709844157
Thursday night about 9pm...ish.
Came in her ass crack. It was pretty hot.
She'll be back on Sunday and I'ma hit that again. And again, as often as possible, for as long as possible.
She's a babe.
A few hours ago. The wife was getting out of her costume after a Halloween party we went to and one thing led to another.
I live in a small city of boring retards so not much lately or they are just whores asking for money so fucking with a rubber isn't special or really sex in my book
>>709844157
Yesterday morning. Ate his ass while he came all over his chest, then I came on his face and lips. And he begged for it.
It was pretty sweet. And it is on tap as we live together.
>>709855846
What country is this?
>>709844157
Tuesday. Where's my dog cause girls are such a drag
>>709844157
25-10-16
>>709855866
That's not sex that's 2 faggots making me feel sick
Tried this morning, she said she wasn't awake enough yet. So last night but it wasn't proper full session stuff, just a quicky.
>>709844157
7-8 days before, and hopefully will in 3 days
>>709844157
probably somewhere around 3 years ago, damn I didn't even realize it's been that long until now...I should go back to fuckin hookers but I don't have the cash
>>709855959
Mandurah.. I can't wait to leave this boring shit hole
>>709844157
it doesn't even matter, since i only care for new crusade against muslims
2011 I think
>>709856087
Yup why do they share their faggotry
Yesterday evening. She doesn't even have me pull out.
>>709848382
Why does almost every longterm relationship end like this?
>>709844694
Jesus?
>>709844157
late december back in 63
>>709844157
When did they start using the space shuttle? Probably before then. I blame the double standard that exists when it comes to fat. Sure chicks can be the size of a godamn tanker truck, but because I'm fat and just happen to have a y chromosome that means I'm basically screwed. Fucking prejudice, my fat just adds to the fun, why don't chicks want to play "go spelunking in the fold caves to find my dick"? Damn sexists.
with a girl: 3 hours ago, she is 14yo
with a guy: 1 year ago
>>709856815
Real anglos don't bow to any faggot jew
Fuck jesus and all those shit skins in the middle east
>>709844157
Like idk 3 years ago.
>>709844236
Coming out of your moms vagina doesn't count.
>>709844617
>18
>thinks that's old to lose virginity
Sometime in 2014.
A few weeks ago
3 and a half months ago. Fiancee, now girlfriend, isn't feelin it. Hence the engagement break.
>>709857104
you don't have to recognize his divinity if you don't want to but to be blasphemous for the sake of blasphemy is childish and unwarranted
I of course agree about fuck Jews, though
>>709849738
Ah, um yeah. Me too...
>>709844157
Yesterday
>>709844157
Grr like fucking 3 days ago.
Been about a month for me. I have 2 girls I talk to, one of which thinks she is my girlfriend. The other is a chubby girl I meet up with occasionally to casually fuck. Was supposed to spend the night with the chubby one tonight. Didn't pan out though.
>>709844157
sexual abuse count as sex?
One day ago
>>709857443
This.
>>709857104
Let's guess, you're an anti theist activist? Or just a neckbeard..
>>709844157
Tuesday. My ass is still sore
>>709857666
not sex but it could be foreplay
Dudes you need to chill out on the depression you're having about now having sex or not have had sex ever.
I didn't have sex till i was 27 (30 now) when I randomly met a girl and hooked up, been with her since and have probably had sex more than 1k times so far. Not kidding, but not bragging either. Shit gets stale, and sometimes you miss your hand. And if I knew then what i know now, I wouldn't be that bummed out about not having had sex yet.
By the way, do all the shit you want to do before getting into a serious relationship. You won't have time to do it when you're in one.
>>709844157
> Impliying
>>709857876
>Shit gets stale, and sometimes you miss your hand
Then jerk off? Lmao
>>709845256
So what you are saying is . . . do not have kids if you want an active sex life with your wife?
I understand now.
>>709844617
Bump listen to this guy
>>709850272
I had a friend. Stupid AF. Uneducated No money. But with his confidence managed to fuck different girl every month. True story!
>>709856786
because . . . women.
>>709844157
8ish hours ago? whenever me and my girlfriend got back from the store
>>709857395
yikes sorry man.
Might be time to just pull the plug than let her decide everything.
About 30 seconds ago. I buss my nut and switch on my phone to check /b/
>>709857736
Jesus Thread?
>>709844157
I bang my wife just about every day. The area I live in let my sister and I get married.
>>709844157
A year and a few months ago. Wife & I didn't want to have sex while she was pregnant and risk another miscarriage, so we didn't. Natural birth wrecked her lovehole, so now I'm waiting for that to heal enough for her to want to stick something in it again. Still get the occasional BJ here and there, though, but I do miss the fucking.
>>709857737
And my dick is covered in shit, worth it tho anon
>>709844978
>She likes me standing with her legs on my shoulders while she also fingers herself.
Does she work as a contortionist?
>>709858292
Definitely getting there. It was my decision to break it off, but then after we talked decided to at least stay together for a bit.
Who knows, maybe we can fix the multiple major issues we're having. I'm doubtful at this point.
2 days ago and gonna do it tonight...if i am in the mood
>>709858292
butt plug?
1 year, because I honestly couldn't be arsed to go through the struggle of hooking up.
Also if I would care I'd still have paranoia and self esteem issues holding me back.
Wednesday
>>709844157
7 years ago I think. Been at least 9 years since good sex though.
Thursday
>>709844157
24 never
i actually don't care anymore
>>709844157
I don't remember , I drink a lot
>>709858795
same here nigga, i feel ur pain
Was about to have it with my gf on Wednesday but we had a earthquake (italianfag here) so probably Tuesday, don't remember
One last night, another girl two nights ago.
>>709850625
same
about 9 hours ago, and then again about 7 hours ago
>>709859036
All the 30ish women have kids and drama, and all the 18-25 are literal trash. I gave up mah nigga.
Never cuz im A fag
>>709844157
4 hours ago, she passed out and now i'm here due to crippling insomnia
>>709859478
??? Have sex with men?
3 weeks
Dammm I've got blue balls just noticed now!!
Jeee Thanks /b/!! Fák you OP for reminding I NEED SEX!!
>>709844157
May of 2015
i am a lonely person
>>709854388
>>709858548
I think what he's trying to say is that she was on her back, with her legs straight up, while he is standing, and while they're fucking ,she's toying with her clit.
>>709844157
20min ago
>>709858358
No biggie, bangs wife... wait... what?
>>709858120
i have a friend like this but he isnt getting laid but he has confidence and he can just walk up and be friends with anyone.
i get so fucking mad when i see him hanging out with cute girls that i would smash but he has no balls so he cant seal the deal.
he just gets friendzoned, but his confidence is in-fucking-credible
>>709859656
No I'm just an ugly piece of shit
About an hour ago, now we're gonna have some breakfast and play some gears of war.
>>709844157
like 2 years ago, fuck
July 2nd. I'm such a loser. At least she was a hard 10.
>>709844157
when i was 8, so last week. I'm 9 now
>>709844157
Zimplying
>>709844157
Thursday. Prolly gonna have sex today, if my FWB is not too tired from work.
Never had .how do I get laid if I'm ugly any advices ?
better than tinder! plenty of hooorny sluts of your city on http://de0880.de/1176
>>709844157
1 year ago
I haven't sex yet. But I will.
…
I hope.
>>709844157
3 weeks
>>709844157
September 2013, I gained 15 pounds in 2014 & haven't gotten laid since.
>>709862635
Also anyone have broken nose .I broke nose when I was like 8-10 then it looked ok,but now my nose has grown bigger and now it looks so bad
Yesterday, I woke up in the morning lubed up my cock and slid in my wife's ass. She loves it. After I was done I said "good morning!"
She left early this morning and I slept in so I just jerked off twice today. the thought of yesterday got me hard again now though. Shes off having a shower right now might go join her.
Been together 10 years in January.
on april
my dick is exploding
>>709844157
Last night.
>>709854828
Yeah. Her choice.
42 here... been with fiancé for about 6 years. We're down to about twice a month unless we go on vacation, then she gets pretty horny.
I'm not sure what I think about it all.
Half an hour ago
Three and a half weeks ago with the gf, doesn't help she works in another state 9 months out of the year and doesn't have much of a sex drive to begin with
>>709864473
That sounds rough. I've been married for 9 years and we have sex twice / week at least. More during vacations (Even if we don't travel anywhere).
We do a lot of physical activities together (like jog in the forest, do housework together, repair the boat / paint it together). Perhaps that's something you lack?
about 3 weeks ago
>>709848781
i had really low self esteem the only time i ever had a gf but i was actually in way better shape than i am now and could have dated way more girls and hotter girls
>>709858120
wow, thats amazing brah, you showed me, we can all make it, we can all get aids and have our dicks fall off
>>709864473
Common as fuck. The sex life dries up in any marriage/LTR after a while.
That's how you know the mark of a good relationship vs a bad one. Good relationships can still succeed despite having less sex than they used to.
It happens to everyone, the novelty of banging someone just wears off after a while, then you have to make the sex kinkier and kinkier to still be fun.
Anyone who doesn't know this has not been in a 5+ year long relationship/marriage.
And it really is important just to date up until that point and see if the relationship still works with far less sex (I'd venture to say most of them do not still work, someone has to start going elsewhere for action, or tempers can get hot if you're banging less).
8 days ago
>>709844157
Error - N/A
>>709844988
Lol, lat time was about 2 months ago, Chinese bitch, I didn't even come. That was some cultural shock
I'm only 15 so I haven't yet
>>709844157
1981
tomorrow
april 2015
>>709847904
>fucking fake every aspect of who you are [to] get laid
that is not an option to many
>>709863049
Congrats, living the dream anon
>>709844157
Yesterday.
And I have broken ribs.
septmeber 11th 2001
>was so gooooood
>i penetraded my twin daughters in the name of allah
>>709844157
may or june 2016
>>709844157
this morning
>>709844313
kek
>>709844157
Weeks ago. Months ago since I actually came from sex
I'm thinking of dumping my boyfriend
Yesterday, life is good.
>>709850073
9/10 girls are psycho you just gotta learn to controll them!
3 weeks ago with a 10/10. She was 16 im 17, working with 3 girls right now
pic kinda relatable
About a month ago, because it's forbidden to have sex where I live now. Tbh the hardest part of being in the military.
>>709844157
3 months ago
About a week ago. Since half a year.
It wasn't pretty. But it sufficed...
>>709844157
13 hours ago
4 hours ago.
>>709844157
Nov 2014. Makes me sad everyday
>>709844850
I'm a mildly retarded college drop out with a shitty job and I still got laid. It was forced and awkward with a landwhale but it still happened
>>709844157
4 years this past May. The police called me the evening after saying they were hauling her away to the psych ward if I wasn't to bring her there myself. I laughed and hung up the phone
>>709870892
haha. story?
August 11th, 2012.
September 2014
2 Fucking years.
At this rate, i think it would have been better if i never have fucked.
Last Friday. I'm 23, she was 18 (19 in 3 months).
It was good. I wasn't expecting sex to be honest but she couldn't resist.
never ... just licked pussy and sucked dick :(
>>709856886
My nigga.
What a very special time for me.
25th of July
>>709844850
I don't go out to the places where girls my age hang around, therefore I never meet girls my age. On the rare occasion I do go to some place with lots of people my age, all I can think is how much I can't relate to them. I have many and varied hobbies, and literally all I ever meet are middle aged men. Also I have very few friends and don't go out on social events that often, for many years now. As a result of that I am very jaded, bad at conversation and get anxious easily. People often ask why I am sad, but I'm not sad I just look that way.
It's hopeless, I'm 25 for fucks sake. I'm of the opinion that if it hasn't happened by now it never will. It's not that much fun being a living breathing joke to everyone else in your generation.
About a month ago, ive got a fwb but ive gotta drive two hours to see her, better than nothing but i need to get something a little more accessible to be honest
>>709869030
Not once in my 32 years.
I'm 4 years or so out
I've just kinda gave up on dealing with women because I end up dealing with crazy bitches, past an acceptable amount I wanna deal with.
My game never really progressed past high school levels so crazy bitches are all that I can pull
>>709844157
January 2016.
I don't think I'll ever find another girl.
Lol 3 years? I think? My first boyfriend was the only dick I've had in me :(
>>709870919
Well, I prefer to not go into too much detail. But the girl had a brain injury due to a skiing accident. It knocked a few bolts loose, so to say. She was on a shit ton of meds, and mixing in extra stuff like alcohol was never too beneficial. (She even would make the claim that her psychiatrist suggested to drink as opposed to taking certain medications.) But nonetheless, here's a quick rundown of what occurred:
>Planning Friday to spend the weekend at her place
>Get a call from her saying she has a terrible migraine (she gets them occasionally.)
>Best solution is to leave her be and lie in bed in a dark quiet room
>Tell her 'love her, get some rest. see you tomorrow'
>Get a call that night around 10pm. Saying she's meeting a friend she hasn't seen in about a year and going out drinking in a town about a hour south of here
>I know this is uncharacteristic of her, but blow it off regardless and tell her to have fun
>Fast-forward to Tuesday leaving work
>Head to her place, she's on the phone with her mother. She's already slightly intoxicated
>Somewhat overhear the conversation between the two as I'm sitting down on the sofa next to her.
>On great terms with both her parents
>Her mother asks, ".. you didn't bring anyone home with you did you?"
>She was silent
>I might be slow, but I'm not stupid
>Got my last fuck out of her that night. Tell her good night and head home.
>Have a shit day at work the following day. Go home, heat up some dinner
>Before I can even take the first bite my phone rings. Don't recognize the # but it's in the same area code
>Hello?
>"Is this anon x?"
>Yes
>"This is anon y from the county's sheriff's department, how are you doing?"
>I'm okay, I guess?
>"You know anon z?"
>Yes
>"Well, we got a call from dispatch on an issue here. The county's EMS doesn't handle these kind of calls. She self-harmed herself. So... she's going to be taken to one of three places with a psychiatric hospital. She volunteered you to bring her there."
cont.
about eight hours ago, but now her husband is pissed.
>>709844157
Never. Don't have a place to bring them. No car, have to share a bedroom. Plus I think sex would be hot, but I'd have to actually put time, money and energy into a woman. Too much effort for some vanilla bang.
This Tuesday, with a black beauty
>>709844446
Mitch?
>>709872500
>"If you wish to decline. We then have to take her. We prefer not to because that requires a ton of bullshit paperwork we don't want to fill out"
>I start laughing out loud because the officer just gave me a great out to this relationship.
>Decline because I want to eat dinner
>Tell the officer best of luck, she's a handful and have a good night *click*
>Got a text a few days later I assume after she got discharged blasting me
>Delete without hesitation
>Hear from her a couple more times within the next 6 or so months
>Exchange nothing more than a 'hi'
>She moves away
