How are you feeling anon. Want to talk? You feeling okay?
>>709676283
I'm lonely.
>>709676338
Why are you lonely?
>>709676283
Been doing alright, have a 8 page paper due monday, but hell man, last semester was the worst. hbu man?
>>709676283
i'm here.let's talk.tell me about yourself
>>709676283
I repeatedly fuck up my life when handed everything on a silver spoon. How do i deal with the pressure?
Just standing here watching as my relationship with the only girl I used to love is falling apart because of me
>>709676472
I can't ever find a girl. Or make friends. It's like I'm too late for this. In my country at least. In another one that I lived briefly I was much happier and having more of a dream life than here.
>>709676501
Not bad actually. Focussing on college although I'd like a girlfriend. But, do y'know that feeling when you feel you're missing something? That's how I feel.
Had a bad trip on weed and can't seem to re grasp reality
>>709676510
I'm 21, studying Nursing at uni and would like to be an A&E nurse. I'm male have blonde hair and never had a girlfriend. How about you?
I never feel satisfied when talking to women even though it all seems fine. Im always judging myself for it
Not feeling well at all. No friends. The person I love isn't the one I'm with. It's hard.
>>709676549
Can you give me an example of fucking up?
>>709676650
Why anon? Why is it falling apart?
I'm an ungrateful cunt who can't find it in his heart to appreciate the only person that gives me love and attention in my entire life and constantly fuck the people in my life off because I can't handle my emotions.
My hallucinations are coming back and I have to go to the doc a lot.
I'm tired of swallowing medicine.
I can't feel anything but a very slight sadness.
I don't feel excited for things anymore.
Nothing seems interesting.
I don't feel like my art skills are improving despite me trying to draw and look up references daily.
I feel alone despite being surrounded by friends and having a person who loves me.
>>709676283
I'm alright. I've decided to change up my method of staying in shape, going from a mission of losing weight (since these last 7 pounds WILL NOT fuck off, no matter what I do or don't do) to simply making sure I don't go OVER a certain weight. I think I've actually done more damage to my internal health than previously thought, so I'm going to turn to the Chinese methods of weight-loss and health-maintenance.
>>709676689
What do you do? Do you have a job or are you studying?
>>709677033
Would it help to just think about the people around you and how you shouldn't be sad because of it? Many people would relish in the thought of having someone who loves them.
>>709676948
Uni student. Spent 6 hours sunday night doing work for monday morning class. Get done about 1am. Enough time for sleep and go to class. Some reason i don't sleep and miss the class.
This same situation has happened a lot.
Diagnosed with adhd and severe depression. Taking meds.
I feel like i self sabotage a lot. This happens a lot less often now. But still happens since it did 6 days ago.
>>709677033
Job is shit.
Family feels distant.
I have a constant feeling of guilt weighing down on me for absolutely no reason.
Anxiety is higher than ever.
Memes and dubs are the only thing that are keeping me alive.
>>709677056
I'm interested. What are the Chinese methods? Do go on anon?
>>709677033
Have you attempted to see a therapist?
It just doesn't make sense to me that all these traps have a bigger penis than me.
>>709677289
I've tried, anon. I really have. It only makes me feel worse and guiltier that I can't appreciate it.
>>709677405
I'm too much of a fucking pussy.
>nothing is going wrong
>everything is going ok
>loneliness eating away at me
>spending more time studying and working just to feel less isolated and depressed
Just slowly working myself to death, how about you.
>>709677404
Qi Gong (can't do T'ai Chi, since I'm in a small dorm), some Shaolin drills, and avoiding meat MOST of the time. Now that I know the importance of calories and carbs, I can avoid such foods that are rich in them, and adopt an Asian diet.
>>709677336
Is it worth seeing a doctor about sleeping problems? I know you probably don't want anymore meds but if they can help you it's well worth a visit. Also, and I know I sound like one of your parents, but do your work as soon as you get it. Have the willpower to just get it out the way. Then you have enough time to properly sleep.
>>709677088
Last year of college.
>>709677578
Can't you find anything to distract you from your pain? A hobby or interest?
>>709677350
On top of all this there's also insomnia, paranoia and probably something else I can't think about, pretty sure I have some kind of schizophrenia but that's for the medfag part of /b/ to decide.
>>709676735
I feel you there man, my last semester was so difficult its actual been better for me to be single and living alone.
>>709676889
30.i'm a barman and an illustrator/comic artist.
>>709677710
I'm not doing bad. Uni's cool and I have some friends but I don't go to the same uni as them, so I'm often alone which I don't mind. Why are you feeling isolated and depressed?
I'm coming to terms with the fact that my apathy is going to kill me one of these days.
>>709676988
Im realising im shuttting her out. For some reason im shutting all of my friends out too and I cant stop. I have no idea what is happening to me and I cant fix it. Im pushing everyone close to me away. At first i blamed it on going trough a rough time with moving to a different country to study but that isnt happening untill a few months so that cant be it. I realise I need help and both my friends and gf want to help but noone knows whats the problem.
>>709677730
Soind cool man. You do any sport? I get my excercise from Swimming 3 times a week and walking the dog everyday.
>>709677805
Yeah you sound exactly like my parents. But it's not bad. My parents help me a lot. I'm working really hard on the sleep stuff. My mom is trying to make me go see a sleep specialist, but it seems like a lot of work for no gain, and it's my fault anyways. I just need to stick to my schedule.
>>709678032
Yeah, I draw, paint, and have recently taken up writing. It often pisses me off though, because I can't seem to fucking improve and it all ends up looking worse than things I drew when I was in school.
On top of that, there's my perfectionistic outlook that no two characters should share a similar silhouette. It's pretty angering, especially when you're getting paid for character design.
No I'm not feeling ok! I just came back to my country after spending 2 months in Korea, Japan and Hong Kong and I've never been so happy in my life but now I have to be in this shithole again.. Wanted to go back to live with my japanese girlfriend and work there but they don't allow me because I didn't finish college. So now I cant be with the love of my life and I have to have a shitty life here with muslims and pussy cuck government.
Fuck
Also it's my birthday
>>709677991
Is there absolutely no one in your dorm that you're friends with?
Btw I'm trying to reply to everyone's as fast as I can so sorry if I seem slow.
>>709678486
No sports. I really just do cardio and go on very long walks (which will have to stop since it's getting cooler and I can't break a sweat as easily). I intend to move overseas to live and work within the next 4-5 months anyway, so I won't really have time to workout 6 days a week anyway.
>>709678086
Exactly. So, you lucky enough to have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
>>709678194
Oh cool a comic artist. Worked on anything I may have read?
>>709678555
Happy bday anon! Any chance you can try to finosh uni and go back to her? Any chance for her to come to you?
>>709678296
You must have interest in something? Anything?
>>709678555
I know the feel. I lived 3 years in Korea (2009-2012), and was seriously disillusioned when I got back here (to the U.S.). Everything is SO MUCH WORSE than it was when I left; I honestly don't know how I didn't see it before. I get sad whenever I think about how great life was over there, then look around at how fucking shit everything here is.
But, I will probably be going back permanently soon. This place is no longer my 'home.'
>>709678455
There must be a reason for you shutting them out. Are you too focussed on your work? Maybe you should take more time off if you have the chance.
>>709678936
My man, I'm 25 already.. by the time I finish college I'll be 29.. that is IF i can even finnish college.. I don't want her to come to me because she has a good solid job and I don't want her to ruin her good life because of my failures... and thanks.
>>709678498
You do that. Don't forget to take your vitamins too brother.
> Sleep deprivation
> Hallucinations
> Constant feeling of apathy and numbness
> Guilt complex
> Considering hrt to go full trap because I can never look like a dude anyway
> Intrusive thoughts about suicide, sometimes homicide
> Bipolar disorder
> Only ever talk to anons and like 3 people once a month
Why have not I an heroed yet
>>709678498
Also, its not your fault, everyone gets problems, it's only natural. The worst thing is to blame yourself.
>>709679026
Lucky you.. at least you CAN go back.. I have to live with knowing it's never gonna happen.
>>709678974
Yeah, that's not to say I'm completely apathetic. There are still things I care about, but in the grand scope of things; I just can't be bothered with any of it any more. I get scared sometimes. I don't know what I'm distancing myself from, or why- It just seems to be everything bar the essentials for daily life.
>>709678863
not really.i've made only local things until now so..
>>709679118
We live in different cities with her and our only chance of talking is on the phone, but every time we are talking i feel like im wasting my time by not being productive with studying or getting better at something. As selfish as that sounds i feel like thats the main issue and i cant help myself. Have talked about it with her but we couldnt figure out what to do
>>709678526
What makes it look worse anon? Enlighten me
>>709678555
Happy Birthday! May I ask what country you reside in?
>>709679587
The quality, really. Worse anatomy, less complexity, I really can't be assed to draw much anymore nowadays.
>>709679380
Well, as long as you don't have a wife or any kids, I'm sure you can go back to school and finish so you'd be able to go back.
>>709678732
I see. Good luck for when you move though.
>>709676283
Seeing as you're asking, OP. I have this lump on my cock. I can get rid of it but it never totally goes away. Just when I think it's gone, I wake up and BOOM, back on it.
If you could phone your mom and tell her to come home, I'd greatly appreciate it. Bitch can't even cook.
>>709679273
>>709679365
Thanks. I take 50,000 IU vitamin D pills prescribed because i am severely deficient.
I'll try not to blame myself, but it does feel like all of my problems are 100% my own fault. I know they are mental issues, it just feels like they are beatable, but i fuck it up constantly.
>>709679701
thank's man and Belgium
>>709679297
Can you pinpoint where your guilt comes from?
>>709676283
I don't really have any friends
The ones I kinda have are using me that and my I have to wait until Feb until my gf can move in.
Help me mighty op
>>709679787
Thanks. Hopefully, it will be very soon.
>>709679396
Are you lonely anon?
My ex has cancer... I still love her and I my heart is breaking as I watch her go through Chemo and I cant do anything to save her...
>>709679149
If she loves you too anon just stick together and hope things get better. It will be hard but one of two things will happen. You will grow apart and it will hurt less, or youll get closer and figure put what to do.
>>709679733
I'm too old go start all over again. I just turned 25 and will be 29 when I finnish.. The only thing that would be perfect for me is to study there, be with my love and get my degree there.. but it's soooo expensive to even think about it
>>709679518
When you stop studying for Christmas, are you going to go see her?
>>709680072
Sorry to hear that.
Do you still talk to her?
>>709679943
No, it's more like feeling guilty over all the things that's happening around you, even if you know damn well you could do nothing about it. I know what it was caused by, though, I think.
Not that I could even dream of affording therapy.
>>709679713
Hang on, is drawing your profession?
>>709680227
She comes over to see me every week. When we are together its great, but when she leaves its like i forget what she is to me. If we brake up ill regret it more than anything
>>709678633
It's ok, don't worry about it.
And there are hundreds of people. Even my roommates, but they are already their own group of friends. I could join them when they hang out in the hallway or talking but I don't like being that kid that tries to join the group. So I rather stay out of it.
>>709680138
I'm 27, and finally in my last semester of Uni (started when I was 21 in Korea). I'm sure you can find a way if you want it badly enough. Maybe not even Japan; you could try Cambodia or Thailand, maybe even....I don't know, the Philippines. If your goal is to leave where you are by any means, you must seize any and every opportunity you can.
>>709680046
You betcha. I used to out and about all the time. I was never at home. Always with friends. They started to peel away from me, or maybe they were just getting on with their lives in general. Me, however, I feel like I've been stood waiting for a bus so I can move on, and it's hella late. - I guess I just want my friends back. I've grown up. We all have, and things change. It's nobody's fault, I guess I just didn't make the cut. But hey, what does it matter? Another day, another week, month year? It's all the same to me.
>>709680325
I have another job, but I earn a lot of extra cash from drawing commissions.
>>709679817
>le cal ur mom to make me sandwhich XXXddddd
Off yourself
>>709680127
she does love me and she keeps saying that she is willing to move here and it's okay and all but I just feel guilty.. why would she change a possibly good life with someone close to her for someone who didn't even finish college..
>>709680265
Yeah, every day... plus I am with her at the treatments and spend time with her in the Chemo "aftermath"
>>709679889
Unlucky man. I live in the north of England so I'm pretty sorted. I pity your current immigrant crisis.
>>709679958
Be thankful you have a girlfriend man, people on here would kill for one. Doesn't a girlfriend indicate you have a friend that cares for you?
>>709680661
Because she loves you anon
>>709680585
I would kill to be able to study in Korea or Japan or china or whatever... but man I don't know how you managed to do it in KR but it's incredibly expensive.. isn't it like 30K a year??
>>709680273
Have you got any family/friends to talk about it to?
>>709680463
Tell her that you feel this way. Let her know, surely she'll understand.
>>709680533
I don't mean to come off as harsh, but you want to have friends but don't want to go out and make them? Do you see the hypocrisy?
>>709681038
I was living with my parents while attending college courses on a military base (mom was Army, step-father was a contractor). The classes themselves were free, since I was using my mom's Post-9/11 GI Bill. Although, I feel as though I kind of wasted it, since I wasn't smart enough for Computer Science, or even know what STEM was until about a year ago.
>>709681043
Nope, I have only three people I talk to every once in a while. I don't like talking about my feelings to either of them though.
>>709680756
yeah mate imagine spending 2 months with friendly nice and beautiful asians and then coming back home and the first thing you see at a station is a group of 5 fucking romanian gypsies harassing you for money
>>709680620
Sorry you feel so down. Is there no one you work/study with who you can be friends with?
Not feeling good, anons. Work steady 40 hour weeks, have my own house, live with my girlfriend, but iI just don't care about anything. Nothing I do makes me feel like it used to.
>>709676283
Why was I born so small and weak?
>>709680628
I know you'll probably want the money, but if you're tired of drawing, take a step back from it for a couple of months and come back to it when you're ready.
I feel like I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm so tired of things not worknig the way they are intent to work
I'm tired of not being able to fix stuff that I have to fix
I'm so tired of people
I'm so tired of life but I don't wanna kill myself
GET ME OFF THIS RIDE
REEEEE
>>709681277
Good to hear you got it all worked out man. Korea is really nice. Enjoy it for me too aight? ;)
>>709681291
> Intrusive thoughts about suicide, sometimes homicide
Who are you thinking of killing (besides yourself)?
>>709676338
It's okay. I'm lonely too.
I feel distant from everyone. Like there's something about them I don't fundamentally understand about humanity. Or there's something about me they don't (or refuse to) understand.
I wish I knew where to go for some sort of... screening, or test...
Sort of unrelated I guess but last night I'm at my mates after a party. They are all doing coke. I've never had coke and take some with the promise there is no come down. Now I feel like shit. Not sure if it's a normal come down or if it has something to do with the fact I smoke loads of weed as well and they have affected each other? Any info/help would be appreciated!
>>709681271
You can't just do that. If some guy comes into your group of friends randomly and acting like he belongs there don't you find it awkward and try to exclude him? I bet you do. Plus, the first impression I left was probably not the best, dunno why, so now there's no point anyway.
This reminds me of something that happened when I was young. There was this girl that wanted to play with us, and we didn't like her, so one day her older sister told us to play with her too. You know what happened? Not only did we not let her join us, but we made fun of her too. I'm pretty sure this applies no matter the age.
Plus, it's my country. If you try to join a group of people you better be the most fun/funny/smart/good looking/rich person there is, cause if you aren't amazing with anything, you'll just come off as weird.
tl;dr I DO, BUT CAN'T.
>>709681292
Fucking hell. I spent a week in China and I'm going next march and the people there are so kind it's unbelievable. Don't get me wrong, they're not all smiles and such but they have the decency to not be assholes. Fucking pakis.
>>709681752
If and when I get back there, I promise you...I will.
>>709681721
you sound like a kid
everything is easier when you're a grown up man. you just have to wait a little more
>>709681565
Times change, and so will your perception of things. Stuff that may seem one way may feel different in later life. Do you talk about this with your girlfriend?
like shit
>>709681595
Genetics. Why, what's the problem?
>>709681816
Mostly just a few very specific people at work that I actually would go through with murdering if I wasn't a fucking pussy.
Neighbors, my brother, screaming babies sometimes. I don't feel like a rational, functioning human being but I really don't want to be institutionalized.
>>709676283
Disregard the feeling of want to die occuring in daily basis yes, everything is fine.
>>709681449
Wish I could work. I'm currently undergoing a lot of various examinations; health wise. I eat like a pig and all I do is lose more and more weight to the point I'm starting to look anorexic. I'm tired all the time, yet, unable to sleep. I used to have a vivid imagination and would write down ideas for a book I'd like to write, and now I have nothing but dead ends. Honestly, I feel like it might be because of my ill health; I'm trapped at home. They're looking for cancer. But that's not what scares me. What scares me is the fact that I'd be okay with it even if it wasn't treatable. Does that count as a suicidal tendency? I'm not sure.
>>709676283
Everything's turned to shit lately.
Bad shit keeps happening to me.
I just recently caused a +$2,000 accident at work. I got to keep my job but i have to pay that shit back.
Couple months back my life was turned upside and I just never recovered emotinally and mentally. Despite trying and making positive changes nothing is working out.
People are weird to me anymore. The way how the world operates is bizzare to me anymore. I feel uncomfortable being me anymore.
Im not a bad person. I dont do anything to anyone. I just mind my own business. Why am I eternally being fucked with???
>>709681967
Honestly, I know it seems like I'm saying this for the arguments sake, but I wouldn't exclude someone new out the group. However, my friends would so I see what you're saying. Let me ask you, is there really a problem with being alone?
>>709682007
I know right? First day I landed in Japan I looked 2 minuted at the bus time schedule and to see which one I need, 2 guys came over asked if I need help then they fucking one of them went to the station he got me a map and a bus card for free and the other one literally walked 20 minuted with me to show me how it's easier and cheaper it is to use the subway. I didn't even ask.
>>709682148
I think I may just in a rut, really. I haven't said anything to her this time but I have before when feeling down. About 3 weeks ago things were alright. This past week has been rough though and our schedules suck because of work and school.
>>709682383
That's exactly the point.
I'm trying to be a good person with everyone and keeping my own business, but the life keep messing stuff around.
Sounds like if you're not a dumbass/jerk like everyone, everything else will turn against you.
>>709682221
Can I ask you, are you honestly at work? The way you speak, pictures you post just scream adolescence to me.
Either way, think morally. Think about how they are their own life and no matter how much they annoy you, it's better to just let it go.
>>709682301
Why do you want to die? Do you truly want to die?
>>709682765
Pretty much and its sad.
>>709676283
After years of failing, I start with some success, but I try and cant find interest in women (no homo, btw). They are either slutty or way too basic. I want a woman with character and personality, not this basic laughing emoji "so truuuuu" type of shit.
>>709682597
Yes. You can only do so much without other people in your life. And moreover it makes it impossible to get a girlfriend. Yes, I'd want one too because yes there is a problem with being single because I get tired of masturbating and always being alone.
>>709682855
I am at work, I'm kind of new to it though.
And I don't think I'd actually go through with anything like homicide, the intrusive thoughts are just there.
>>709682338
It sound like you've given up on life. Your situation is pretty horrific man. See what the doctors say, but for now concentrate on what matters, studying and generally surviving.
>>709682618
I love asias work ethic. Lovely people.
>>709682921
Because im tired. I'm 39, I have a job, live alone, have a gf. A quite "normal" life for the "defaults".
But the problem is: Nothing changes and nothing will change. People are getting more and more absurdly stupid, everything is getting weird and weird.
I study in daily basis to implement more my knowledge on my work, but basically, people just pay for the knowledge you learned to make you do your job and say that you don't have the knowledge for this job. Yeah.. Exactly this.
And keeps getting worse and worse, so I see how the future will be, and I just don't want to go there.
Just recignized I'm more into my best friends girl than I want to admit to myself... I'm pretty sure she likes me too and we had been about to cheat my friend but I couldn't.... it's not like I could not get any other girl but she's the only one I can imagine to get into a serious relationship.. feelings are down, sorry for bad english
Pic related
>>709682966
Can't help you with that sorry. I'm looking myself.
>>709682969
Is there any girl around you you have a particular interest in?
>>709683105
Oh right. Dude, everyone (at least I think everyone) thinks about killing people. I do. It's just a way of venting anger I think, or just entertainment. It's no problem.
>>709683701
Given the chance, plenty. One in particular, no. I got over oneitises, and now they all seem the same. Actually, just those that show interest, even when jokingly. Doesn't happen anymore tho.
>>709683477
What does your girlfriend think of all this?
>>709683841
That goes without saying, but, how much of it is the norm?
>>709683963
She share my opinion, but I keep the suicide part from her.
>>709683494
Maybe you should ask her what she wants, and if she does want you, tell her to call it off with her boyfriend. You should both be happy.
>>709676283
I BURRIED MY BEST FRIEND YESTARDAY IM 15
>>709684049
Ask anyone here dude. They probably do it.
>>709684233
Sorry man. That pretty tragic.
>>709684061
If you're both sad, why not take to someone? Whether it be family, friends or a therapist? Off met some professional help.
>>709676283
fucking depressed
>>709683197
I know I said I wouldn't be too bothered if it wasn't untreatable, but that's a very 'if' scenario. Chances are it will be treatable. And I'll beat it. Like I've beaten everything else life has thrown at me but for little to no reward. I'm drained. I'm alone. Ultimately, it comes down to what I said to my therapist one day.
"I don't want to die, but I'm not particularly thrilled at the prospect of living, either."
OP here, after answering your questions for about an hour and a half I think I'll call it a night. Stay strong anons.
Oh nothing, Anon, just sitting alone in my dark room contemplating my failures while my only friends are out at parties I wasn't invited to because nobody notices me.
>>709684454
Because will not change the reality. It'll make me feel better and then what? I'll go back to reality and see again the idiocracy-IRL this world is turning. So.. quite useless for me.
>>709684549
Find something worth living for. A person, a hobby, an interest. There's so much out there for you to just give up on.
>>709678455
I actually had the same problem last year anon, I shut down all my close friends even though they were always trying, I would refuse to meet them or speak with them... Started being paranoid towards my bf.. Stopped doing everything that I had any interest in, wasnt able to focus on studying.. Just literally sleep (barely), eat, work, study and repeat.. I went to the doctor and they said I had severe anemia, thats why I was shutting down day by day. Got pills and started to get better in about two-three weeks. Sadly the people that I pushed away dont speak to me anymore, however, I am feeling slighty better regarding focus on studies and being always tired... So speak with your doctor, maybe something is wrong
>>709684722
As uncomfortable as I am, I'm quite happy with who I am. They call that cognitive dissonance, do they not? I'm tagging along for the ride. Just taking in the sights so to speak. Not everybody is destined to do something great or have a fantastic life. It's not like I haven't tried to enjoy myself. I just find it happening less and less.
>>709684268
Well, that's a relief. Wish it didn't spook me so much though.
>>709684722
A person. I did.
But people are always disappointing.
>>709676283
might have to put my dog down this weekend,
makes me sad
Not great. I feel like I'm burning out. Been drinking almost every single day. Thanks for checking in anon.
Five years of depression, and I wanna kill myself...that's how I feel
>>709684857
>>709684857
I were in the same situation bro, and after repelling all of my friends, I was too weird for them, and they all disappear from me, I was alone. But the next year, new people arrived, and most of them wanted to know me.
Just stop to be as weird you are, or don't show them all of you ;)
Don't despair
>>709687466
Why?
Anyone wanna talk on Steam?
>>709676283
living like I'm in a ongoing hell for days and days sometimes talking to hellish people who hate me and wish me dead who when on occasion treat me normal gives me hope.
>>709688115
Haha 2:17 am in France
>>709688338
Don't talk to people.
