Green text thread.
Gimme some good stories.
>>709112153
oh i remember that what an unfunny try hard
>be me, 20 years old and at community college
>not the most smartest person, so struggle somewhat in my advanced classes
>go home
>take a shit and jerk off
>oddlyrelaxing.jpg
>becomes a normal thing
>shit, jerk off and do work
>shit, jerk off and do work
>couple of months later, things get serious with girl
>take her out, all that good stuff
>that night we went to Applebees
>food there is shit, and I feel my stomach rumbling after
>she's obviously horny
>go to my place
>immediately jump on eachother and move our way to the bed
>we open the door
>get on the floor
>and she starts taking off clothes
>obviously I go along with her, stomach making whale calls at this point
>she doesnt notice
>immediately starts sucking my dick
>instinct mode takes over
>Instinct = routine = jerk off, shit and do work
>haven't shit
>immediately my anus becomes Niagara Falls
>liquid shit pouring onto her face and on the floor
>stinks like 12.99 Babyback Ribs from Applebees
>she screams
>I say nothing, for the sound of chocolate milk on the floor puts any man at a loss for words
>she runs out leaving all her shit
>say nothing
>go to bathroom, wipe up shit
>start working on Calculus
>didn't even clean up shit until the next day
>>709112601
Kek
Op are you even here?
>>709115139
Ye, loving the texts
>>709111803
>be me
>turn 18
>go to nightclub for the first time with friends
>get pretty drunk
>meet a girl
>literally 10/10
>girl is full on into me
>we dance for a bit and get drunk
>asks me if I wanna go to her place
>FUCKYEAH.jpg
>not sure why she's so into me but cool
>tell my friends
>they're super pumped for me
>get to her apartment
>immediately get undressed and she starts blowing me
>tells me to go down on her
>slide down her underwear and realise she has a big ol' fat cock
>confusement
>she looks at me
>I say nothing
>actually frightened
>she starts laughing
>says my friends hired her to prank me
>call friends
>total embarrassment
>regularly make fun of me getting my dick sucked by a tranny
>TLDR: Got tricked into receiving a blowjob by a shedude
Well god damn. I wanted to post the most feely grenntext of all time but the fucking file size is too big and I can't be arsed to sit here and crop it. Especially when no one else is posting.
Here's the imigur for it though: Ella
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/jNOru
>>709114322
Damn, good story.
>>709118025
This one >>709114322 and Ella are two of the best greentexts of all time. OF ALL TIME
>I've seen most of the stories in this thread before
Are there seriously no new stories?
>>709119362
Doesn't seem that way
>>709120131
Fucking professional tier keks right here.
>>709114551
This makes no sense.
How does he get double?
>>709116166
Fuck off, stop posting in every thread
>>709113640
> wat.parchment
Fucking KEKKK
>>709121995
because he gets the rent than they repay him for the money
>>709121003
>dildos were cut off dicks
>kek
>>709115050
i laffed
