most autistic swords
bumping with zombie knives because I am a faggot
how to accidentally stab your self
how to accidentally get shards and fragments into your eye
this one actually has potential, thoughts?
Holy shit wat
Are there knives that aren't autistic? i wasn't aware
>>708961926
You'd have to leave your moms basement to know
>>708961926
>kitchen knives are autistic
Okay buddy
>>708963091
/thread
>>708960973
All swords are autistic, no one has needed to use a sword since the 19th century ended
Everything you've posted looks like shitty dagger models from WoW
>>708961605
Def most practical of the few.
I would think one would want more of a longer, sharper, heavy blade. So you can slash and get through the neck muscles of zombies. Also a saw on back of blade would be useful for survival.
>>708961605
that hook would be a risk. would catch on bone and clothing.
The weird guy in my martial arts class got drunk and 'practised' with one of these. Accidentally cut a tendon in his leg and needed an operation.
>>708960973
goddamnit, you even posted the same brand i wanted to post
>>708963868
lol bat'leth
not a sword but autistic none-the-less
beat this
You can't even theoretically abuse it for something else then collecting dust in your moms basement because of it's horrible design.
>>708963923
Just because it's popular among autists doesn't mean it's autistic itself. In terms of usefulness it's more practical than anything else posted in this thread.
Suprised no one said this one.
>>708964729
bitch please
All of them.
/thread
>>708963591
The handle on this will always piss me off, so retarded
The things i find get worse and worse...
>>708960973
This, always.
>>708965024
Man, i know it's retarded but i'm always a sucker for stupid big swords
>>708961393
uhhhh... wtf guys? how do you even use this?
>>708963091
>>708963591
It's a tie between these two tbh
>>708964188
>>708964483
>How to rip your fingers off and instantly lose any fight
>>708960973
To have any kind of sword is fucking autistic.
>>708963923
>posting an actual useful weapon.
Yes its not the be-all, end-all of swords like weeaboos like to pretend. However when you need to slash up poorly armored opponents, its a fine weapon.
>>708964839
Bitch.
Please.
>>708964524
All of those are highly functional
This is the kind of shit that old asian man sells down at the berlin farmers market
>>708960973
>>708961285
>>708961393
>>708961605
>>708961937
>>708964017
Do people really buy this shit?
What's the over/under on the Karambit?
I know it's gotten popular with idiots and posers, but it seems to be fairly legit in terms of practicality.
>>708964759
is that dunkey?
>>708965336
If you're trained in it i've seen it be used effectively
>>708960973
Aren't they all autistic considering they're not too relevant? Granted yeah an artist could really fuck up your day with one, but yeah shotguns.
>>708961285
literally fucking useless for killing zombies... 9/10 times, one of those hooks will get caught on a bone/tendor something. conceptually shit design
>>708965217
A challenger appears:
Now with 85% higher chance of injuring yourself
>>708965227
I'd exclude the one on the left, with the retarded handle.
You know which one I'm talking about.
Only actual sperg in the thread reporting in. I'd never use any of this crap, if I needed to kill someone I'd just shoot them in the face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL-Js-I7fSE
gaze upon it and know rage
>>708963420
Not exactly.
Real preserved swords with a history are not autistic at all.
>>708965227
Like a highly functional autistic, right?
>>708964524
The first, third, and fourth from the left aren't bad.
>>708965416
As what? What training? Jesus...
>>708965442
Holy shit. That thing looks like it's designed for Shao Kahn's retarded little brother.
>>708965328
You'dbe fuckin surprised what people waste money on
>>708963923
>>708964770
>>708965114
Compared to European swordcraft, they are indeed autistic tier weapons.
> tfw you can't name one fencing manual from Japan.
>>708965049
My sides are in orbit. That's fucking retarded.
>>708964729
If it existed and functioned as shown in the movies, it would be the best sword ever made.
This one is also nice:
If you actually used it the way it is indicated you'd have a good chance of disarticulate your finger.
>>708964759
lol
pretty sharp though, i gotta say
I have and use pic related as the ultimate brush knife at work all the time. I guess there are some fantasy styled swords that would get the job done if they were condtructed well but why?
>>708965568
>hating on based khopesh
fuck off
>>708964345
Looks like Batman's battle axe
>>708965579
I knew a Filipino chef that practiced some weird martial art that uses them. He'd done it his whole life.
>>708965423
>tfw your zombie knife gets stuck in the tendor
>>708965114
An autist's first choice
Any or all swords in anime
>>708965710
No, it wouldn't be even possible to use because light has no weight.
>>708965579
It appears as though it's useful in forms of Southeast Asian martial arts and in a sort of tactical CQC kind of way.
The demonstration looks fairly legit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi7TPa1eQ8w
not the most practical nor the most autistic
just decent i guess
>>708965651
Any sword that has a lore about how fucking awesome it is because some bing bong folded it a thousand times, but can't hit another sword to deflect with out permanently ruining it forever is autistic as fuck.
>>708965804
I thought it could have been a real thing. Those are for smashing the shit out of things, right?
>>708961605
I have that one
>>708963868
lol c'mon! at least star trek in general is aight
>>708964838
Where does the magazine go...?
>>708965828
He lied to your stupid lily white ass. Him and his buddies talked shit all day about you and tricked you into eating horrible things.
>>708965732
I have one it's exclusively for s&m
>>708964838
Holy shit! I want that
Plus I'm a Bama boy!
>>708965336
They're fine
>>708965336
I have one, its fun to screw around with, but its got nothing on a Ka Bar etc
>>708965651
yeah but katanas are badass
> tfw you cant name one fictional character with a eurofag sword thats actually cool
>>708964188
come on now that's just meant to be stupid
>>708965972
No it's a scythe-like sword, easy to get around an enemy's shield.
>>708964345
wait that's a pool cue??
>>708965936
Is
Is that
Meta Knight's sword?
>>708965442
>Move my wrist slightly
>Giant piece of autistic weaponry in me
>>708965217
That's actually pretty fucking metal.
>>708966087
>Guts
>Entire cast of Claymore
what were they thinking?
>>708965996
Easy, you just toss the used arm blade contraption and pop another one in.
>>708966193
I think you screw the handle on to the bottom, so it becomes a poleaxe
>>708966198
the galaxia, yes it is
>>708964759
>instant teleportation
>nothin personal kid
>>708966205
That is actually called a Ninjato. The straight sword katana, allegedly the sword of, you guessed it, french foreign legion soldiers from space.
>>708965789
You know that's a kukuri right? A Nepalese blade.
>>708966246
4-in-one knife
>>708966487
Kukri*
>>708965897
It would be plasma or photon molecules, I believe. What's your point?
All of these blades are glorious and I would love to add them to my domicile.
>>708966026
nigga i worked with him for 2 years
>>708966246
Gotta put a lot of faith in the locks of that bastard
hookswords are pretty fucking retarded imo
could be wrong
>>708966087
Sir Jamie Lannister
The Hound
Guts like the other guy said
>>708964472
useful-ish. blade has nothing on it to get stuck.
>>708966087
King Arthur was pretty neat as far as legends go.
>>708965328
Yes, mostly from truck stops. Seriously, truck stops......
>>708966487
He just can't tell the difference between history and autism anymore.
>>708966087
> using anime to justify something is not autistic
>>708966026
speaking from experience, friend?
>>708966246
Lol, have fun picking up them fingers.
>>708966205
>>708966475
I actually like the aesthetics of this one, I don't care that it's from naruto, it has a nice, clean, minimalistic design.
>>708965897
It'd be like wielding a laser pointer... though I seem to remember an early tech manual or novel saying they self-stabilized like a gyroscope, so swinging had some kind of resistance?
>>708966033
Oh shit! why haven't I thought of that!!! ANON...
>>708965710
I hope this is bait...
>>708966205
The new wii is looking cool
>>708966574
The lionheart IRL would be balla though
>>708966615
>he lost to Kabal
>>708966574
>that tiny caliber
>>708966087
King Arthur?
>>708966615
Fight me irl bro
>>708965227
the 2nd one is not. the hook would get caught. the 5th has been used in combat, but i'd leave it as a last resort compared to everything else on the table.
>>708966574
Do you get that as a gift for a gay autist who liked steam punch? That thing looks really gay, impracticality aside.
>>708966487
You know I don't care right? I got a good deal on it and it's a solid brush knife that takes care of everything I need. It's even made in the US.
>>708966224
Fuck Yeah Guts
>>708966574
It'd be a cool decoration, at least.
>>708966574
That poor colt navy. Someone should put it out of it's autistic misery.
>>708966749
It literally curves against the curvature of your fingers.
People pay money for this
>>708966756
Yeah not gonna lie it's a cool simple design
>>708966595
He hated you the whole time, still does. Flips are like that.
>>708966771
It's actually kind of hard to control, you can get these little claws for each of your fingers that are much better. It looks scary in a dumb dramatic way so when a girl is tied down and you take it out (or some other big knife) it has a nice effect. The tip your finger controls is kind of sharp but not really, it's good for scratching someone up without drawing any blood.
>>708965897
Well, light does have weight. Star Wars is fucking gay fantasy disguised as sci fi though
>>708966790
It's not. What would be the issue with a lightsaber?
>>708966087
Red Sonja
>>708960973
Autism in sword 4m
>>708965336
Like >>708965416 said, if you're trained to use it, it's near god tier
>>708967216
The fanbase is fullof autists
>>708965651
Cool. I watched a display fight and was very surprised how often swords were gripped along the blade.
>>708967058
You hold it so that it points down. It's a folder karambit
>>708966836
Nah nigga
>>708967116
Yes...yes perfect foreplay for real cuts...or I could give them to her that could be fun.....
>>708965049
Scorpioooo
>>708967177
Yeah, that to.
But my case is that it looks really stupid, and in reality, it's just a super-microwave in the shape of a spear
>>708967095
you seem really angry at the filipinos, Why anon?
who hurt you?
>>708965666
nice numbers dude
>>708966087
>Katanas are cool
>Using anime to prove a point
>Not praising an all mighty longsword
Smh
>>708965789
A Spartan hilted Kukri Machete. Useful
>>708967177
Mmm, gay fantasy
>>708966615
Have you seen videos of monks and shit using them? Not super practical bit it's pretty tight
>>708966574
It looks like the bullet would actually hit the fucking blade on this one. I'm calling bait.
>>708967339
Hot
>>708966820
Mah nigga
>>708967290
> won't have sex with you unless beaten in combat
Rape fetish warrior queen
>>708966193
yes pool cue by McDermott
>>708966246
Triple suicide by retardation
>>708966615
They are bad ass if you train with a kung fu master with them for like 20 years in your hut on the outside of a little town in the mountains of China then avenge the death of your master. If you buy them and live in moms basement not so much.
>>708964524
Do not trash talk the khopesh that's my shit
>>708967467
Autism levels like that shouldnt even be possible!
>>708967335
It's a fucking pocket knife. Get over your autistic Phillipine Martial Arts Fantasies. Life isn't a video game. There is a reason that every military issues heavy, straight, long bladed knives and trains in tneir use. They are more effective than that stupid mall ninja shit.
>>708967518
longswords and claymores are so underused in anime
theyd trash the katanas in any direct hit
>try to block
>katana becomes boomerang
>>708966087
Teresa from claymore
Anyone remember this?
Any and all sword ownership is autistic as fuck unless it's a museum that owns the weapons. End of story.
>>708965011
he looks like he's about to fire his laser
>>708966224
Dam you beat me to it bro
>>708966087
Conan The Barbarian fag
>>708967719
The fuck do you even DO with that? Throw it?
>>708967592
Nah they were real.
>>708967095
Lol, I work with a bunch of them and they're all really chill. Not sure what you're going on about. Maybe you're just as unlikable as you seem and the ones you met didn't want anything to do with you. Sorry to hear that, man.
>>708965156
This.
Katanas are best for murdering peasants
>>708965843
Underrated
It's a fucking nerf gun with a shitty blade taped to it
>>708967296
Its called sword-breaker i think. Designed to break swords at hilt in duel.
>thinking unique historical swords are autistic
>>708968031
Spent time in PI and with tons of them in the Navy. They're worthless pieces of shit but at least their women will blow you for a quarter.
>>708960973
Only in murrica...
>>708967467
you can also electrify it and write things on her with the point burns. She'll only let you do that once though, had it done to me and it itches like hell for a week
>>708965894
what about future trunks
>>708968334
Nothin' personal, gaijin
Jesus Christ, I hope Zombies do attack and this neon green colour enrages them and gives them superpowers or something
>>708966876
Yeah but steam punch tho
Post any knives or sword u got
>>708966564
>photon molecules
>photon
>molecules
lolwut
>>708968395
Especially future trunks
>>708967849
What about sword martial arts? That shit is not autistic.
>>708968427
that depends - is autism a superpower?
>>708966087
o rly?
>>708968585
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photonic_molecule
>>708965972
Disarming an enemies shield
>>708967805
Fuck yeah dude. Thought nobody liked that show.
>>708968612
The Zombies. Killing off autists who buy neon green zombie weapons first so the new civilization will be less insufferable
>>708967467
all of the no.
Swords are pretty cool! I like them a lot. I wish I owned some though.
Did anybody else hate it when you were little and your dad touched your butt a lot?
>>708968663
Fuck yeah
>>708966087
Link (a Japanese character) from LoZ.
>>708966552
Dude I had this one for my 11 birthday. It costs like 20 bucks
This is a better weapon then any of that Zombie Killer shit.
>>708968334
Japs are officially retarded.
>>708965897
the beam is made of plasma
>>708961937
Holy shitty grind Batman!
>>708968938
Duuuuuude. Yes I hated it, dad used to touch my butt all the time. We would be watching tv and suddenly he'd be touching all over my butt and sticking his fingers in. He told me it was cuz momma left but then he got a gf and then we all starting touching each others buttz
>>708966087
Aragorn, most other LOTR characters, King Arthur, Dovahkiin, Ezio, Geralt of Rivia, any questions weeb fag?
>>708969013
I still have one. It's got a green handle though. Bent the fuck out of it cutting up some dudes bed
>>708961937
I'm pretty sure this drops from C'Thun.
>>708969247
Why would you do that?
>>708968567
My everyday carry. It's a humble bad ass.
>>708964524
wtf is that?dagoth ur's herb chopper?the rest are fine but srsly tho second from the left looks like some spergs dream get even weapon
>>708965117
I don't blame you. Zabaza's sword is one of my favorites.>>708965127
>>708967719
HAHAHAHA
>>708969390
More like a glorified boxcutter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hfLZozBVpM
FLICK FLICK FLICK!
>>708966087
Xena
>>708964524
all but the second one are sword designs that were actually used historically. sorry.
>>708968591
Yes, it is. watch the Raiders of the lost ark scene with the sword artist over and over until you understand.
>>708969390
Box cutter blades are great, reusable, easily replaceable and actually useful.
>>708968130
To be fair, that looks pretty fucking rad.
There's a whole leddit devoted to this, reddit.com/r/mallninjashit
>>708969495
It is a box cutter. I cut lots of boxes with it. I've also skinned & dressed lots of deer with it & could use it very effectively as a weapon. I maintain - it's a badass.
>>708965336
Krav Maga practitioner here for 13 years.
We trained in these. They are by FAR the easiest to defend against. With that said, I do like them just for the sake of em. Not the best, but I find them cool.
With that in mind, I did try to use one for gutting a pig and filleting a fish. Fucking amazing tool for that. Have had one in my hunting kit for years.
>>708969660
Good luck hitting anything
>>708965789
That's a falcata. Definitely not a fantasy blade.It's basically a sword that chops like an axe. Fucked up a lot of dudes back in the day from what I've read.
>>708963591
God i fucking hate that sword and the autistic game
>>708969723
A boxcutter yes, but a sweet one at that.
>>708969201
Skyrim doesn't count. You can choose your weapon.
(Technically witcher 3 as well, but all non-sword weapons practically don't exist.)
>>708965141
Some people have actual interests in things, that aren't jerking off to traps and anime you fucking faggot
>>708968174
Eh, I don't think so. I believe that is a symbolic decorative Japanese sword that was basically forged to say "Hey, look at my BIG DICK!".
>>708969621
Toats
>>708964483
Fuck when i was in college i had this hanging on my wall. Kek
>>708968839
It was great except for that lame ass 8 min battle woth priscilla. All the other boss type battles took 1-2 episodes but that was kinda a cop out. I like how the sidelined raki early in too but overall pretty solid show
>most autistic swords
Never in my life would I expect to see these words.
>>708969766
It fucks up bamboo, nightshade, and just about every other kind of brush that I encounter including even pretty thick saplings. If anybody needs a good brush knife I'd recommend it.
>>708969390
That is a beautiful box cutter. Plus as a Brit Bong i can buy one
>>708964729
Lightsabers are fucking awesome. If they ever worked like in the movies they would be the best sword ever made
>>708965336
when they're used, they're used for grappling. It's more work than its worth to make them viable though, if you don't know how to use it you're very likely to hurt yourself pretty badly.
>>708965651
>Needing manuals when direct training tradition has not been broken.
>>708969021
You could chop your arms off and fight them and you would have more chances to survive than with those autistic "weapons"
>>708965336
Watch the raid 2.
>>708969928
Hells yeah I always thought about buying one for just that reason. Gonna pick one up for sure now. Thanks anon.
>>708969766
They cool in Rome total war, where my dacians at?
>>708965710
>If it existed and functioned as shown in the movies, it would be
>a useful TOOL
>>708965897
you assume it is pure light, it just emits light. light sabers "blades" consist of plasma. It would work.
>>708965523
yeah but that's meant to be a wall hanger, not to be used.
Sidenote: they use it so that kiddies that watch can be satisfied that their favorite weapon got to destroy something.
>>708965897
Its suppose to be made of solid light.
Its possible but we havnt figured oyt how to make it yet
>>708969993
You should. Single most effective knife I've ever used.
I actually like this design
>>708966205
I bought it cause I thought it was neat its not even heat treated I bent it with my hands lol
>>708963219
obviously i wasnt talking about kitchen knives you goddamn retard
>>708966615
My mastery of kabal in mk3 says otherwise
>>708970155
lose the tribal markings and we're good
ok most of these are retarded
and I refuse to accept that shit llike this
>>708964188
is anything other then some form of esoteric art
>>708963868
alums gona alum
>>708964524
most of those arn't too bad
>based khopesh
tho the handle looks shit
>>708965651
I Swear I saw one of tallhopher's in there
and agreed webem related
>Star Trek weapon replica industry dries up
>"now what?"
>Let's dye 'em green and call 'em zombie killers.
>>708970223
Nigga, they ain't called plasma sabers. Also, it's still not heavy enough to have any momentum or balance no matter which fanatasy it's made of.
>>708966087
Eat shit
>>708970220
What would make it a bad weapon?
>>708969739
Any knife that shortens your reach is easier to defend against. That being said, you'd still be a retard to try if you didn't have to.
>>708966087
ARAGORN SON OF FUCKING ARATHORN
>>708966087
see
>>708970528
and
https://webmshare.com/rvq3n
would post it here but for the jap jew
>>708964759
holding pants up as he runs, lel
>>708970828
>>708970692
>>708970282
>>708970223
>>708970220
Guess what, fuckwits.
I wasn't talking about the ones from the movies.
I was talking about THE ONE ON THE PICTURE.
>>708970990
Or cheap ads plywood
>>708963091
Winrar
>>708963738
>heavier
no, the heavier the blade the more force needed to slice through more solid objects, such as human bone
>>708961937
Corn skewers
>>708967177
>too cool for Star Wars
wew