ITT: We post true things about ourselves or our lives that no one would believe
I'll start
>directly descended from old British kings such as George III
>have a 10 inch dick (which I actually hate)
>>708937215
proof it faggot
>>708937215
post dick with my post number written on it in sharpie
>>708937215
The first is true.
>>708937215
I am a fairly highly decorated Marine Corps Vet who deives a truck now, been out for three years.
>>708937215
>went to japan and banged 15 girls in a month
>>708937215
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they are ugly and they stink.
>>708937215
Didn't George the 3rd contract severe brain damage due to a syphillus? Wasnt he also German?
>>708937215
>becoming a father is the worst thing that ever happened to me
>>708937215
>my cousin won an Oscar for one of the movie he directed
>Dustin Hoffman played in one of his movie
>I'm 27 and work for 14 years as computer engineer, I used to make casino games / paid projects before the legal age by lying about it.
>I used to know a drug lord in my city and would get all the fucking drug i wanted for years
>I jerk off from 3 to 10 times a day, i can do it in any place
my dick is all swollen, please help me
>>708937549
tell me more about it
I've slept with 12 girls. All of them at brony con.
Ugliest was a 4
Hottest was a 9
Had a threesome with a milf and her 20 yo daughter
>>708938546
>>I jerk off from 3 to 10 times a day, i can do it in any place
this is the only thing I believe about you
>>708938546
> ruby
get the fuck out of my /b/
>>708937298
>proof
>>708937531
How does it feel to be a pawn for the rich conglomerates?
I make 7 figures.
I am related to jack black.
>>708938644
not much to tell
>i'm not even the slightest bit attractive
>>708937549
>15 girls
>girls
>>708939039
Story ???
>>708937215
I used to be an avionics engineer at McCarran and worked very closely with a lot of JANET related jobs. Had to sign some crazy confidentiality stuff and report annually about it despite no longer even being in the field. Saw nothing even remotely spooby or ayy lmao though.
>live a cozy life with a sugar momma
>I've spent half this year basically traveling and experiencing life
>haven't ever been this happy
>>708939253
Ruby here. that wasn't me, anon you cuck bastard
>i can eat two large fast food burgers and a 12 pack of tacos from taco bell
>i drink upwards of 100oz of water per day
>i can push the last of my poop out from the outside with my fingertips
>i survived a suicide attempt
>>708939612
dunno what you're implying
>also 2016
>implying
>>708937215
>worked for tower inspection company
>sent to NY to inspect antenna on WTC
>boss tells me to go today if I'm done in Iowa
>get drunk and call in sick on Iowa job
>slows me down by a day and a half
>finish Iowa job, turn on radio and find out a plane just hit the tower...
Partying saves lives
>>708940428
>i survived a suicide attempt
cant even do that right
Lost count the amount of women shagged,
but every single one has cum every time.
>>708939360
so edgy, i bet youre a fatass that wasnt even qualified for service
>>708937215
Hey man, im decended from the knights templar
>>708937215
I'm god and i've only created africa and niggers for shits and giggles
>>708937215
>sucked my cock
>i preach at my church every now and then. Maybe once every six weeks or so.
>have had gay hookups and used female escorts a few times
Might not look that unbelievable when laid out like that but people who know me would be shocked. I don't think there's anything else massively unbelievable about me that isn't intricately detailed family stuff.
>>708941358
That has nothing to do with what he said
>>708940428
forgot to add
>i can suck my own dick if i feel like it
>>708940428
Youre my favorite so far
>>708941358
Nope, I have shares in a few,so technically, you work for me, boy.
I wrote a 4400 page, 11 volume, commercially viable space opera series for the YA/teen crowd in my spare time and it's built in the Joseph Campbell "hero with 1000 faces" blueprint that made the Odyssey, LOTR, Star Wars, and Harry Potter the epics they are.
If I don't sell it I'll probably kill myself.
>>708939253
Ruby is a nice language, but Elixir sounds like a functional revolution, what do you have against it ?
>>708941915
you can do it
>>708939239
Well i don't care we are on /b/ and there's no interest for me to bullshit people. Here's some more details for the Oscar cousin
>he's dead now
>the movie was remade multiple times afterwards
>>708941915
If you couldn't sell the first 1000 pages, why would you keep writing it.
>You secretly know that not finishing is is a great excuse that its not sold yet. You secretly think that adding more will fix it.
>>708942443
I started in 2004 and finished it in 2013. It's done and cohesive.
>>708942153
May need a rough plot or maybe a few starrs
>>708937215
>I can burp anytime and whenever I want, pretty loudly too - always have been able to.
>I can tune into conversations of others over telephone lines and wires outside from inside my room
>I saved a mouse once from a sticky trap and released it outside, now eagles remember my face and people think I'm an angel.
>I can anticipate the motives and thoughts of others
Nice to meet you, Prince George
>>708940049
not related to any type of skiff, regular forces, saw non-terrestrial technology twice. I could not understand its purpose.
>also fought two wars.
>know two people who had been in the largest nuclear disasters the planet has seen.
>produce television, radio and social media now.
you don't have to believe, anything
>>708942443
I'm also thinking of compiling it into one big ebook and giving it away or selling it for 99 cents on Amazon
>>708938679
trying to fathom what your standards of a 4 just are
>I commune with the mods and they think my jokes are funny
>>708937549
>>708939489
I thought Japs are into there own and dont love white boys?
Also aren't they prudes?
>>708941915
Takes a lot to do all that work. Well done, even if it doesn't sell.
Have you got a title?
>>708941915
The length alone makes me suspect that its utter and complete crap.
>>708937644
heheheh rip
>>708942806
Star Epic One is the series name.
Two is being written now. It'll be about the same size. The Martian meets Interstellar with the heavy "iron man-esque" armor of the dead space games.
One has robots, spaceships, laser guns, space pirates, jetpacks, mecha, etc
>>708937215
>I'm actually really popular with girls and I made myself dense to their feelings so I will be able to ignore them, most of them don't have the courage to confess so that's pretty easy the others I just rejected. It's just too embarrassing to know a girl has a crush on you
>Can't understand why I'm mediocre looking AF and I'm a fucked up looser
>>708942941
Its only 175 pages bigger than Harry Potter. Less pages but more volumes for bigger arcs.
>>708937215
Oh good this again. Well fake AF unless time stamp and ruler. Or else GTFO and kys
I'm smart but lazy
>Fucked a model whenever she was in town when I was a speed freak. She cut contact with me after I got clean.
I guess she had a fetish for drug addicts.
I fart rainbows.
>I can speak English in 4 different accents, though I do not live nor was I born in an English-speaking country.
>I'm 22 and have turned down a relationship-offer with five 9/10 girls.
>I killed a Tuscan boar on a mountainside with a fruit-knife
>My 4chan ban expired yesterday.
>>708937215
I have quite limited social skills and hang out on /b.
>unbelievable I know but it's true.
>>708942565
It's very well-known story and based on a french novel (i'm from France, but my cousin is American born)
>>708942617
edgy
>>708942941
Look, I'm sorry. I didn't come to sell anything but I'll put my money where my mouth is. Shoot me an email at [email protected] (with "give me free shit" in the header and I'll send anyone a free copy of the first AND second book in kindle and ePub format for free. Don't like it? You don't pay anything. But if you do...... I get a fair Amazon review for each. If that's agreeable, then start typing.
I'm Intelligent, Nihilistic and with a Wicked Sense of Humor
>>708937215
>I'm a home wrecker
>I once had to break a mans legs
>I've had to beat people over weed
>I fought the law and lost
>I've died twice
>I'm a great guy and they don't know my name
>>708943280
how can you be very popular to girls if you're ugly and a looser ? do you have anything for yourself ? charisma ?
are you still in high-school / student ? because if yes, things will change pretty fast when you enter real life
>>708944212
I like you.
I remember when OP didnt deliver nudes.
Waluigi
>>708937549
Come on, elaborate.
J
>>708942555
what's the name of your series ? i could read it up and tell you if it's complete crap, otherwise invest in it
>i count since the first time i did it how many times i jerked off
>first time between 20-30 november 2010, 13 years old
>1552 times so far
>hebephile, bordering on pedo
>hate myself since when i realised at 16
>i did not ask for this
>fuck you
>>708937531
no one would believe. not no one would care. simple instructions
>>708944336
>looser
My cousin sucked me off in my basement at 3am
She's 5 years older than me
I was semi-hard the entire time
>>708937215
Manwhore
Have been having sex since 13
Use it to help with my emptiness from being abandoned by my mother
I'm basically a dildo with a heartbeat for many women
>>708937215
>the gays worship me for my looks, almost universally
>I run an unprofitable company being held up by a prototype I'm working on with the support of VC money.
>somewhat of an alcoholic because it enables me to pull girls from the clubs to fuck which happens pretty regularly, too awkward and shy otherwise.
>been married 2 years, and my sex life is shit
>been together 8 years and the first 6 were the best
>even when we broke up for 6 months, it was better than this
>feel like a fat fuck, am now a fat fuck, don't get a fuck, and I give a fuck
>>708941358
Look at this faggot! He thinks 'serving his country' is something to be proud of! Enjoy pretending that PTSD is a thing. Employers have to be begged to hire people like you and everyone knows you didn't join the armed forces bedside you're a genius.
>>708944670
typo happens you giant retard
>>708940049
Nothing fishy going on here
>>708944677
how old were you exactly ?
>>708944633
>Pedophile but degenerate that in general has loosen qualifications for attraction
>Once in a while wonder if if I'm evil
>90% of the time don't give a fuck
If you're not lucky enough to have other attractions then at least don't beat yourself up for being a hebephile. That itself is normal.
>>708943871
>I can speak English in 4 different accents, though I do not live nor was I born in an English-speaking country.
doubt they're the slightest bit convincing
>>708944336
Not in high school, You can kinda say I have self confidence.
I honestly don't know what they find about me that's attractive and I don't want to date anybody because I'm afraid that she'll understand what a fucking loser I am and leave
>>708944948
I was 18
>>708944819
how did you get the attention of a VC ? i'm working in a startup looking for this kind of things, would be interesting to know how you processed
My dad's face is a reaction meme. It's pretty strange seeing him on 4chan time to time
>>708945052
It's healthy to be skeptical.
trained a dog to cognizantly speak, noone ever believes until they see it, even then its dismissed as neat. >tfw im further along in the field than anyone whose tried. >tfw no face
>>708945065
luck bastard
i hate myself, I want to kill myself badly but I don't have the bravey to do it. Also, I cried in class one time and the chicks were hugging me and shit
>>708945063
well, try not to be a loser, it's that easy.
>>708945232
investigate 9/11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-TRR5zBLrI
>>708939889
I would but I'm paranoid because it's so distinctive
>>708945402
Eh, at the time I couldn't believe it was happening but now I really fucking hate it
We went from normal cousins to her wanting to blow me in less than a week
After that night she's offered a few times when I was at her house and stuff but I turned it down
>>708945589
nobody gives a fuck who you are we just want the STORY
>>708945009
thx.....
the onyl thing that keeps me from hero ing is telling myself that my actions (or rather the lack of them) define me more than the defective state i was born in....
i basically have cats as replacement for human relationships
Bump
>>708945243
care to post a vid please?
>>708943189
I see there is a book by that title on amazon already... is that yours?
>>708945704
tried counseling on that matter? I guess that could help? Always wondered about people advocating for lgbt rights sayin "they were born that way"...What about people with pedophiliac tendencies?
>>708937549
I worked ESL classes in Canada as I knew how the speak a bit of Japanese.
One girl I was fucking was the daughter of a high placed guy in the wood imports industry.
I got in her pants when I went along with her and another she we were escorting as they didn't know their way around Vancouver
We ended up getting a room because we were so drunk and the other couple got the bedroom and went there to fuck.
And by "fuck". I mean extremely loud sex complete with the bed bouncing against the wall and pictures rattling
Me and the girl Akiko smiled and grinned at all this noise and we watched TV for a while. I caught her smiling at me and she started undoing her blouse and we did it twice on the fold out bed. She had amazing breasts, nearly as big as my current wifes 38DDs
When they got up, we pretended nothing was heard or happened.
She went back to Japan after 10 months and I still hear from her.
Her last gift was some extremely old Japanese porn books she got into the country by sending it care of the embassy. Another was that book on Japanese brothels called "Tokyo Lucky Hole"
>>708943189
Tried to have it sold on paper before? Amazon won't get you fame nor monnies. Would've loved to review it for you if I was reading (I've read a total of about 7 books tops in my whole life, I'm 20).
>>708937215
Photo, timestamp, and measuring tape / ruler.
>>708945468
>Can't I have no single good quality that actually counts.
>I'm afraid of commitments.
>My sexual preferences would probably lead me to a death sentence in most countries around the world
>I'm a fucking quitter, When things aren't "life or death" to me I just give up on them.
>I like to say how intelligent I'm, yet I do nothing to prove it even to myself. Couldn't even write this shitty paragraph without the browsers auto-correct.
>Always has this weird feeling that I don't belong to this earth and I should just do myself a favor and KMS before I'll be exposed as the fucking loser I am.
>Ditched my prom even though I had a date with one of the beauties of the year.
I honestly want to just move out from my country to somewhere else and go criminal of smt like that,
But yet again it's just me running away from my troubles and responsibilities.
>>708946137
im not exactly keen of getting lynched by an angry mob .... i dont think counseling is needed, i would never act on the tendencies . also not even psych docs wanna deal with peds, we are generally seen as societies most disgusting shitstain even worse than murderers(even if we never did a thing). and yes, you are born with it and it sucks big time.
>>708946689
what country are you from ? we all are kind of sexually extreme on /b/
everyone has qualities, look into it and work on it
>>708946020
Yes. If you don't have at least 100 reviews, agents and publishers won't even look at you
>>708944168
well i sent you an email and didn't receive a response yet
>>708937215
My grandfather was a Nazi scientist. He passed away a few years ago. Of course I have no way to prove this but I am a German the things he would say, they scared me as a child. He was working on testing radiation on people and animals because the Nazis were thinking to make dirty bombs with Cobalt to use on the United States. He lost all documents, awards, and even uniform at the end of the war. He said that he took a uniform from a dead man to not be recognized and taken for war crimes.
>>708942803
Schrödinger's flash drive? Lol
>I'm developing self anger issues. Don't hide it well but people tend to not challenge my obvious lies.
>Also terrified of women or having any sort of relationship with one. In response I just abuse them until they leave me alone.
>>708947059
the fucked up world we live in.....
YOU NEED 100 AMERZOENZ REVIEWZ HERPDERP ELSE BUUK SHIET
>>708947035
Prefer not to say.
Yet thanks anon for trying to cheer me up, At least here I feel that I belong
>>708947059
are those reviews from people you know or not ? i checked them, it's pretty positive overall
>>708937215
I won $2400 on Cash Cab.
>>708947215
Hold on a sec.>>708947573
One is
>>708947518
what do you like rape or something?
>>708947518
wut, yet another pedobear?!?!? holy...
>>708943280
Same, I work with females and the best way to get attention is to ignore them and do you work. By ignoring them you stand out when other bros give them attention
>>708942715
check out storiesonline dot net it specialized it's the only site I know that handles ultra long works. The have a sister site at scifistories dot com too
>>708947699
>>708947715
Didn't and not gonna do anything illegal, Yet is none of the above
>>708947762
That's actually really close to what my friend have told me a week ago
>>708945819
could send someone a vid if they can make it into a webm and post it, otherwise heres a typical morning conversation. me: "tell me what you wanna"
dog: "wanna outside"
me: confirming"wanna go outside"
dog:"go potty"
me:"wanna go outside go potty"
dog:"yeah"
My uncle was in the bunker with Oppenheimer during the Trinity blast. He heard him recite, "I am the destroyer of worlds..." speech. Oppenheimer was convinced that ancient India knew how to make nuclear weapons since the radio active signatures from rocks in central India matched the rocks in the New Mexico blast site.
I am a son of Thor. This title has been passed down generations of my family's lineage.
>>708945179
Which pic?
Post your 10 inch cock!
>>708937215
Ok, I understand that she's trying to show the "effects" of makeup
but WHY ON EARTH has she shaved her fucking eyebrows and plucked off her eyebrows?
No wonder she's fucking ugly without makeup, she's fucking half bald
>>708944819
>bool live_another_day(void);
why the void tho?
>>708937215
I am a 9/10 guy. I'm an introvert, despite tmy obvious looks. Life is hell.
>mfw girls say I'm attractive and I have no clue how to respond
>>708948399
Just to make it clear.
Nice dubs tho
>>708947991
[email protected]
email it
>>708947215
I see the emails. Wifi is slow. Fucking Wikileaks. Keeps sending emails to [email protected] for free science fiction ebooks. Don't like it? You don't pay a dime. And no I won't keep your email to spam you
>>708948440
>"thanks, you too"
>be me 14
>decide i hate my country and want to leave
>sign up for a scholarship to study one year in china
>actually get the scholarship while doing all the paperwork by myself bc parents dont give a shit
>be me 15 finally leave
>travel one whole year through china ( Beijng,Harbin,Chongqing,Shenyang) while pretending im 22 bc chinese r stupid and dont have minor laws
and my organization just didnt care
>always party and rent some cheap hotel rooms between 5-10 dollars
>come back home one year later and start high school
>now 2016 be 18 in last year of high school and fucking hate my life
>>708948440
just tell them "ur hot"
>>708947059
>If you don't have at least 100 reviews, agents and publishers won't even look at you
Isn't...it their whole job to look at you? Sounds like laziness on part of the industry.
>>708941915
fuck off with your star wars ring theory crap you pleb
>>708948717
>>now 2016 be 18 in last year of high school and fucking hate my life
You should have been a Boy Scout. They would have straightened you out.
>>708948853
forgot to say im female but not gonna prove no ones gonna see my boobies lol so im gonna stay a male for u
I'm a female that eats over 2000 calories a day even though I'm only 5'2" and can't gain anything close to 120 lbs (my ideal weight). My 6'7 husband eats less than I do and has a "dad bod."
>>708947981
Women are weird creatures. You work with them and give them attention and it's, "hey buddy!". You ignore them and they think something's wrong with them when you don't give them attention so they do anything to get it. Just yesterday I had one ratchet chick come up to me and said that she wants to have my kid.
>>708949189
nice post your husband's dad bod nudes
I have had sex with over 250 women, almost all very attractive, under 30 years old, and only a handful were prostitutes. There isn't any single kinky thing I've wanted to try that I haven't already. 3 somes, group sex, and even a dozen of so extremely pretty traps (some of whom are youtube famous).
I am 36 years old. I am not wealthy or especially attractive. I am exceptionally good at communication and manipulation.
I am bored of sex and would rather jerk off now than fuck.
Such is life.
I am 2pac and I'm dead
I'm a top tier amateur LoL player bordering on pro.
I used to play hockey and was friends with/met many current/former NHL players/coaches, it was almost unanimous I was on my way to the NHL prior to quitting.
I'm extremely good at reading people and figuring out their intentions for some reason.
I'm friends with one of the biggest drug dealers in my city.
>>708949490
>>708948566
file size too large, cant do it from phone
>>708949356
No, he's super paranoid about nudes getting posted, so I'd rather not give him a reason to be even more weird and paranoid.
>>708949268
Don't know how to handle this anymore kek
>>708949947
Hurry up and get to a computer or something then. Can't just say you have a talking dog, provide no proof, offer proof via email, and then say you can't email.
>>708949490
>women
>traps
>prostitute
alright
>>708943871
>I can speak English in 4 different accents, though I do not live nor was I born in an English-speaking country.
Yeah the 4 accents are probably nigger, spic, beaner and Jew.
>>708949490
I'm really good with communicating with women I'm not that good at closing the deal and probably seeming as an attractive male. Aka I am probably beta af.
Tips?
>>708950054
For reference, in 5,5 and 180 pounds. Probably because I'm a good either and can make people smile also I'm Mexican working with majority blacks and some white
>>708949490
kekked
>>708950372
Worker, also I'm same correcting my own Grammer
>>708950155
Kek super autismo detected
>>708950155
uhh, just did? my bad, dont have a computer and have a shitty phone
Bump boys
I memorized every capital and major city in the world as well as the names and capital cities of the states/governorates in over 40 nations when I was 8 years old because I'm autistic.
No way to prove because Google exists.
>>708948440
"Thank you"
I've fucked a new girl every weekend this month. I can drink a 750ml bottle of whiskey over the course of a long evening and not get too tipsy or feel hungover.
>>708951109
being autistic doesn't imply you can't be a fucking genius
I'm a 6'10" college basketball player
alcoholic
I'm way smarter than everyone I know, just too lazy to try in school
>>708949839
in that situation you must be wealthy as fuck
>>708952451
>alcoholic
whoa no wayyyy
>>708952698
Quite the opposite, I'm broke as fuck lol.
>>708944633
I'm like you, but I'm also in a polygamous relationship with two women who are also OK with it, they bring me home teens to play with
Inb4 the unbeliebers, it's truth
>>708948032
Romans knew about Nuclear Energy and they it was ancient knowledge to them. It's actually obvious to see why it is hidden if you study religions/alchemy and stuff. The only thing that changed last century was resources (people to build tech), much of Einstein was copied from older stuff.
>>708953313
how did u get in the polygamous relationship? where didi meet them>?
>be me
>got into blacksmithing and gunsmithing a few years ago
>because im a weeb/nerd i ended up making a basic, but functioning gunblade
>being the edgy guy that i am i walk into the nearby woods with it to dick around with it and cuz i think it looks cool
>it was late
>2 coyotes that clearly hadnt eaten (very visible ribs) skulked out from behind some trees
>they rush me because fresh meat
>i shoot one, it stops and runs off limping, hammer snapped the old bullet i was using in half so it was only half a shot really, other half somehow dudded
>the other one is closer at this point so i baseball swing the gunblade at it
>the blade cuts it a little (it didnt end up being very sharp) and the blade then snaps in half and rips my shirt practically into thirds, also leaving a gash on my chest
>bury the pieces of my creation before going home
>i lie and tell my folks i tripped and got caught by a tree branch
Yeah so if you live in WA, in the Bellingham area you might find a fucking gunblade if you dig in the foresty areas and get lucky, but i dont recommend like, actually using it
>>708937215
Serbian veteran of the war in bosnia who got awarded the medal of Milos Obilic (serbian medal of honor basically) 1992-1995
>>708942622
>saw non-terrestrial technology twice
Please elaborate
I can twist my thumb backwards completely.
>>708954149
which area?
Lmao i live in B'ham
>>708954530
Honestly hard to say now, ive moved around WA 3 or 4 times, you wouldnt want it anyhow, it's likely rusted to shit
>>708954429
Oh please, i had an elementary school friend named Elijah who could do that
>>708954791
Would still be a fun adventure
have not masturbated in 8 years, I'm 25
>>708955009
Well i guess, but still, the best i could do would be to say its in one of the outskirting areas, beyond that i couldnt reliably dictate
>>708955197
m or f? and why so long?
ok I sent to all but the guy with the guerilla.com address
>>708955197
But, why?
>I fucked a prego and I felt the baby kick my dick
>>708954098
One of the girls worked for me, she already had a gf. Her gf moved away, and I started seeing her. She wanted another gf, and that was fine by me
I'm a communication consultant for politicians
I still hang out on 4chan sometimes
I am a swinger and have regular sex encounters with strangers. This last bit is biting me in the ass as i can't go into politics since I would just get exposed for my sex life (although, contrary to a certain orange fuck, never would i abuse or rape...)
>I had a liver transplant in 2005
>Despite my situation I still do drugs
>Despite drugs I still look young at 30 and I'm in very good shape
>all I can think about all day is what my life could have been if I didnt have to suffer the inevitable trauma after the surgery and recovering
>regrets and sadness for a wasted life
>>708955902
I didn't know Bill Clinton was orange
I am God.
>>708956139
Bill Clinton is not relevant anymore, has been out of office for a while in case you hadn't noticed. I'm talking about people "relevant" today...
my testicles survived testicular torsion for over 24 hours before operation.
The first time I visited a hooker I thought I was in love with her.
>>708937215
The only reason the right side looks so bad is because she doesn't have fucking eyebrows
>>708956786
can you please shop an eyebrow?
>>708956139
>voting for Cheeto Benito
>>708955640
>>708955494
m
became a potato after accident
>>708937215
>I'm on /b/ and don't want to kill myself
>>708939453
>I'm related to Jack Black
Pfft
>>708938546
Kill yourself ror shit
>>708945097
A lot of trial and error and long meetings, work on your elevator pitch until it's diamonds, only then will anyone even look at your proposal. Also living in somewhere like San Francisco or Shenzhen, where people are willing to spend the money on ideas.
>>708948399
To follow proper standards :^)
>>708942715
Don't do that. At least sell it at 99 cents per book. Although with the amount of work you've put in, it looks like $2-5 would be more fair. For comparison, I saw a Harry Potter Book 1-7 collection for $70, $10 each. I think that seeing how you're new, you should sell for less, but not that much less. You're underselling yourself.
>>708956786
i didn't even realize that until people pointed it out. thanks.
>>708939453
I'm related to unfunny, talent-less faggots too but you don't see me bragging about it.
>>708957207
fuck man
>>708958941
come wakeboarding with me anon
obThread: I bought a 2500 tablet to draw ponies
>>708937215
no one would believe that me being a father of one is secretly a pedophile. I am a sick fuck who exclusively prefers little girls. no faggotry but equally just as dank
>>708941954
https://www.infoq.com/interviews/mccarthy-elephant-2000
> Nick: InfoQ has a lot of readers who are interested in programming languages and many modern programming languages like Ruby are claiming big influences from Lisp Have you seen those languages or do you have any ideas about the current state of programming languages? Lisp seems to be much more influential now then it was couple of decades ago to new programming languages.
> John: Well of course one could just partly related to just natural turnover. If you want a new programming language then it has to be different in some way and one of the ways is making things different from its immediate predecessors is to go back to more different, distant paths and this happens in lots of fields, not merely programming languages. I don't know enough for example about Ruby to know in what way it's related to Lisp. Does it use, for example, list structures as data.
> <Nick mumbles a negative>
> John: So if you want to compute with sums and products, you have to parse every time?
> <Nick mumbles affirmative>
> John: So, in that respect Ruby still isn't up to where Lisp was in 1960.
Learn your history, or go die in a fire.
I actually am 598927926
>>708942617
in the name of the mince, the lettuce and the cheddar. Tacorilla
I survived the gauntlet. http://runthegauntlet.org
>>708960048
>screencapped
>no (You)
pull the other one
also this is me
>>708960347
I saved the picture from another thread, not knowing it had been archived by some other /b/ro
>>708937860
You're doing it wrong.
>>708960475
haha newfag 110,000,000 posts ago there weren't (You)s
faggot
>>708960627
no shit my kids are the only thing that actually fills me with joy
I'm just a grumpy bastard out of habit
>>708944819
Prove gays like you for your looks. I'm gay, I wanna test it.
>>708946689
There's nothing wrong with you.
>running away from my troubles and responsibilities
You don't have responsibilities. Fuck your troubles. Go do what you want.
>Shot my father's dog 3 times, fed it to my friends to show them that I love them. Basset Hound, super fatty,delicious roast.
>The few I told were in disbelief, showed heart and head in freezer as proof.
>>708949490
I like you. Usually don't post, but similar situation. From 15 years old (40 now), cannot get enough sex. Fucked bar sluts, hookers, traps (totally not gay, mostly blow jobs). Had threesomes MMF, FFM, couple of orgies. Now prefer to fap by myself to female selfpee...
>>708937215
My father grew up with Brendan Fraser
>>708961017
>I was the same as you
>Live in Cali
>Get medicinal card 10 years ago
>went from being my dad (a grumpy old fuck)
>to being completely chill guy
>medicate and play LEGOS probably saved my life
>kids will remember silly-joking Dad that always wanted to play LEGOS...
>>708946689
Death sentence? For preferences?
I don't think so.
What are your preferences?
> handsome
> fit and strong
> great social skills, but i hate people
> god-tier programmer
> seems i don't feel anything
> life sucks and then you die
>>708956446
Tell that to the women he sexually assaulted. The same ones that were threatened with death and smeared by the current democratic nominee.
>>708942939
This guy is one immense cock-bag.
>>708961627
Spotted the psychopath
>>708959620
Comparing imperative with functional languages is completely retarded.
Check out Elixir which was inspired by Ruby and run with Erlang VM ; this is the new trend. High scalability and shit. You know why nobody uses Erlang ? Because this language is a fucking nightmare to understand and read, so some smart guy (Jose Valim) decided to apply Ruby readability to Erlang. Now it's blowing up.
Ruby is extremely readable and flexible, it's perfect for projects you want to release fast and keep maintainable, because Ruby (and RoR) is full of nice conventions. It's very modern and well-thought to its core.
People should stop to insult things without fucking knowing it. Old school dying languages will eventually die, try to live with it. Read a book too : Hackers & Painters
That would open your mind a bit.
>>708944677
Been there done that, multiple times with multiple cousins
>>708937215
I was dox'd and harassed by /b/ /g/ and a few other boards. Moot stepped in and defended me. We talked over email for a while.
I work for Game Grumps.
I'm actually still a virgin
>>708962905
Your ego is your downfall. It blinds you from feeling. It leads you to hate.
>>708963538
>as though being a psychopath is a bad thing.
>>708941915
Should have sold book one while writing 3, you're too far in now
>>708941915
Make it available for a few people to test read and help with continuity
>>708962905
>god-tier programmer
prove it
>>708948440
I feel you man. I grew up chubby and awkward then grew out of it. It sucks because I could have been with countless women because of my looks but I never grew out of the awkwardness. I'm now married and have a kid but I'll always hang on to that thought of what I could have done when I was younger.
>>708946186
Sounds like you were importing some wood of your own.
>>708937215
I know someone who worked for apple and she took my normal 'go-to' smile and turned it into the emoji of the smiley where he's all teeth and square smile.
>be tall, dark, handsome, rich
>All the girls in my circle want to date me but I don't because I got invited to orgies often and that was much more fun
>Get STD
> Go from fuckin multiple bitches every other day to once a month (she knows)
>Too much going my way to want to kill myself
>Pretty confident I'll become a zoophile so that I can have some sort of sex life
>>708964212
well. im fucked then
>>708964459
Continuity. I considered he possibility of doing something with Reddit because of the traffic and potential exposure but I seriously don't know shit about the site.
Btw, here's a piece of fan art a beta reader made for me after she read book 5: War Saint. The character is Sereth, a space pirates daughter who returns to the home world she's never known as an alien armada lays siege to the planet.
I just left a Halloween party so if you haven't gotten a response from sending me an email, give me a few more minutes and I'll square you away.
I had sex with Zoe Quinn and have some relatively demeaning photos of her, but she has similar photos of me so I won't release them.
I used to be a guy
>>708965753
You still are.
>>708965753
its like looking into the eye of saruon, what evil conjured up that creation?
>>708965753
sucks you have to go through having a period though
>>708966263
She/he can't have a period, dummy
>>708937215
This thread is stil going? OP has a small dick and is gay. He can prove not post dick with timestamp and ruler or fake as fuck
>>708965753
Good job, looks more appetizing than some of the Arby's sandwiches I've went down on before... any tell tale signs you could give me to determine if I'm actually eating the real thing next time we I'm on contemplating if it's fake meat?
>>708965753
(Whispers out of side of mouth)
"Get a load of this guy"
>>708965102
What STD
>>708937215
>>directly descended from old British kings such as George III
I can top that
Dad was a former Beatle - NOT FUCKING RINGO
but I have no musical talent
>>708965753
I feel like that doesn't just take dick, it takes souls too.
>be me
>meet nice girl, not the best looking but great personality
>always knows what I mean when guy talk
>new to town so don't know people
>girl immediately drawn to me
>pussycantcomplain.jpg
>after 2 nights of cruising around go to her place
>strangely masculine but ig she has a roommate or something
>go to her room
>watching war movies
>wut
>she starts rubbing my dick as tom hanks says "fubar"
>start making out and grabbing her tits
>implants but ok people like big tits
>next thing I know I'm naked and she's rubbing herself with lube
>dryaf.png
>don't get closer look, don't care
>she gets closer to me as artillery fire shakes the TV
>she starts to pull herself onto my cock and it feels as it is being sucked in
>excusemethatsmineyoucanthavethat
>suddenly my cum is being pulled out of my dick
>I start shaking as if I'm in the exorcist
>she smiles at me and breathes in while tilting her head back
>fuck
>she smiles at me and says "your mother will die tonight if you don't reply to this post"
>>708967271
Good evening, Mr. Best.
>>708967037
Genital Herpes (HSV2, non-asymptomatic)
I can't tell any of the girls who still want to fuck me cause word will spread fast to the others and my circle of friends. STD dating sites are shit because most people who have what I have don't know they have it :p
>>708942803
girls are girls everywhere. a foreigner is a foreigner it can work
>>708967570
I have warts on my dick.
>>708967570
I'm non-asymptomatic. I look perfectly normal down there. No one can tell I have it unless they were to look at my blood tests. I'd pretend I don't have it and keep fucking around but I hear doing that is illegal.
>>708966792
thats the joke.
>>708968071
why don't you just wear a fucking rubber anon?
>>708968071
is it curable?
>>708968237
They don't eliminate the risk completely. I got it while wearing a rubber. Just my luck.
>>708968417
Nope. No cure.
>>708968071
This may help.
>>708940428
what book is this
I once fucked a 35 year old year old fitness model/personal trainer. She was hot as fuck, solid 9/10 and damn near perfect body. Came on to me while I was at work, gave me her number, and had my dick in her mouth the next day.
>>708937215
I'm heterosexual.
>>708968573
Yeah, I'd rather fuck a dog than a shit-covered old woman, but thanks for trying to cheer me up.
was just thinking about this the other day. in the early 2000s in my early teens I knew this MILF named Beth with big fake titties. by google searching for "older woman Beth" i found several sets of her nudes which i jerked off to for years. really set my expectations high for the power of the internet.
also my wife has told me that i should sleep around so i bother her less for sex but im too much of a loser to be able to figure out how to pick up women except for fatties on tinder that i'd rather not bang than bang
>>708937215
I am actually a prolific SciFi author and I keep it hidden from my family and friends. I operate under a pseudonym
>>708942941
>>708941915
Show it to a Jew and let him steal it
Fucked my ex girlfriends mother at a Halloween party.
>>708969119
>also my wife has told me that i should sleep around so i bother her less for sex
Most married men would die for this opportunity. Don't waste it!
russian spetsnaz guys trained me how to shoot AKs and pistols
>descendant of old shaman family
>also 40 year old archwizard
>reindeer whisperer
>also the sole supplier of sámi memes
>>708966954
This is an incredible double entendre, I'm proud of you.
>>708969146
What do they think you do, career wise? I mean, you have to spend your time doing something.
>>708944212
Not too intelligent, judging by every word beginning with an upper-case letter.
>>708970070
He was just talking about the books he wrote
>>708967464
cunt
>>708948952
tits or gtfo
>>708954149
How much exp did they give?
I work in third world nations as an industrial educator; the money is good though the conditions are nightmarish most of the time. Last job I had a $75K American bounty on my head, Arab Spring and all that. I actually enjoyed having a bounty on my head; it’s a really high stakes game of cat and mouse and tended to keep my life interesting. Now I’m back in America and I hate this place, the people here are so effeminate that the mention of something offensive sends them running for a “safe space”. I can’t wait to get back to Africa.
>>708937215
I'm related to Hitler's personal physician
>>708949189
congratulations on beating the rules of thermodynamics. READ THE STICKY and count your calories better
>>708968668
My guess is puppetry of the penis.
