New Fluffy Thread OC
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
New Fluffy Thread
OC
>inb4 image below is true
>>708822318
was this your inspiration by any chance?
If you don't bump this thread smartys will cum in you breakfast cereal
Please excuse any shitty writing or grammar or the like, just pounding out this story on the fly after being inspired by the resident artists and authors like Dust and DeadWeight.
Feel free to critique, ask questions or tell me to stop typing if you want.
Untitled Fluffy Story
---
"Mac! Hey MacReady, you finished up in there or what? Thought you had a job to do!"
With a sigh I finish my PB&J, wipe my mouth with a napkin and get up, shouldering my bag and grabbing my partner in the trade. My partner being an orange unicorn fluffy, who currently has a face full of canned spaghetti. Looking him over I am rather amused, the colt is the size of a small dog, with a vivid silver mane and tail, jade green eyes painting striking features on a face. Well maybe striking without the spaghetti and the stupid grin, but can you really blame him? He goes by the name Mercator, and together we are Ready with MacReady, the best damn Fluffy Trappers in the state of Michigan, probably.
Fluffy trappers? I know, I know – most people would rather just call an exterminator and have the job be done. But at the same time, there are a surprising number of people and areas that see no point in harming the less destructive fluffies that are in their area, and hire us for capture and relocation. Sure, it’s not the best paying job, or even all that fun of a job – but it’s honest money and something I am vaguely proud enough to call my own. But that’s not the important part.
>>708823618
God I love the art style, so pathetic looking.
it pains me to no end that humans will inevitably make creatures such as these, and yet it will not be in my lifetime
>>708824145
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWE_M0CX9So
>>708823782
What matters is that Fluffies are flagged as an invasive species, and that until recently abusers have flocked from in and out of town to take advantage of the bounty placed on feral fluffies since the fall of Cleveland. Feral is a bit of an understatement though, any fluffy is good enough for them, with each pelt going for a dime and a quarter each. Hardly seems like much until you realize exactly how fast Fluffies breed, and how some clever fuckers are setting up breeding mills, or “adopting” strays from the local shelters. But I am rambling on now. Michigan soon repealed the fluffy bounty, and things went back to normal. More or less. Few new reports of things like Ursafluffs, or those weird Griffons – but nothing overly dangerous aside from large herds living in historically preserved buildings, or tearing up fields.
But yeah, that’s the situation so far. Things are five by five. Mercator and I hop into my beater truck that has seen far better days, and we head off to the village of Empire, Michigan to get rid of some fluffies that are currently holed up in a historical farm.
With a sound that can only be described as a dying, steel mule the truck stops. I strap Mercator into his work kit, and grab my own bag, shouldering my rifle and shading my eyes. Fuck, it’s a sunny day today. The smell of overly ripe apples fills the air, the buzzing of busy bees echoing around us as we head to the farm in question- a man standing outside waiting for us. From the look on his face he hardly seems impressed, if anything he probably wants to cancel our job, or outright shoot us. Bloodshot eyes glare between Mercator and I from above white, coarse looking whiskers and a mouth that reeks of cheap beer, “Took your sweet damn time, city boy!”
Anyone have the link to the fluffy translator that was posted a few threads back?
>>708824700
if there isn't some abuse and torture you can stop
>>708824998
http://lingojam.com/FluffyTalk
>>708823316
"No, you have your nesting box and your blanket and your ball and your blocks and your FluffTV and your TV pillow and your litter box and your night light and your food dish and your water bottle and the fact that you live in my house in a nice warm, safe room. Now, you can either give me the foal or I can take all of that other stuff away and you two can take your chances on the street."
>>708825021
Alright. Not enough abuse in the story to interest most people into that.
>>708825992
Keep going. I like stuff like this where there's world-building.
>>708825992
A few nights ago, we were discussing those foal hotel traps. How about writing one where boy scouts can earn a merit badge for building a contraption to lure and kill feral foals instead of for making a bird house?
>>708824700
Deadweight approves. solid shit so far
>tfw stacked blockies
>>708826371
Hey DW, how about you write >>708826295
>>708826243
Appreciate it Anon.
>>708826295
I have something like that coming up in just a bit. Still poking around in the story so to speak, getting my feet wet and comfortable.
>>708826371
Sheeeit. Thanks Boss.
>>708824700
His voice is rough, like unexpected anal sex in prison. I go to speak, but surprisingly Mercator speaks up. “Hewwo mistuh! Hwee aww hewe to swolve you fwuffeh prowbem!”
The farmer gets a look like he just caught someone despoiling his favorite daughter, his leg noticeably tensing, readying for a kick. Shit. I do my best to put on the charm.
“It’s a pleasure to be here sir, thank you for considering us for your fluffy removal needs.” I barely get out, pulling Mercator back before Farmer John gives him a size twelve facelift. The farmer spits and shakes his head.
“Ain’t right. God never intended us to consort with the unclean beasts.” He mutters, bale bright in his eyes. “Take your damn hom-un-cu-lus and get the rest of the devilspawn off of my land, ‘fore I give you a bad review on that phone program. Howl or whatever it’s called!”
With that he strides off, leaving Mercator and I both a bit unsure of where to go from here. A simultaneous sigh from the two of us breaks the tension somewhat, and we head out to go to work, following our noses – or in this case, sniffing around for that acrid smell of fluffy shit.
>>708826849
could be good, lot of wip for me right now. but will file away for future use
>>708827569
Now that's comedy, right there. I got a hearty chuckle out of it.
>>708827076
Even in the heart of summer? Early fall? Staying indoors and playing video games when not working is clearly not helping my track of time. We are outside. We smell shit and it’s pretty vile, like someone had an apple cider enema after eating a few bags of bad Taco Bell. Through a picturesque orchard we go, Mercator laughing as I constantly take branches to the face. Fucking trees. I doubt that guy who runs Slaughters Mauraders with his team of sonic electronic fluffy ball breakers has to put up with this sort of thing. Damn fluffies.
With a bit more swearing, and what feels like a broken toe from impulsively kicking a tree, we make it to a massive red barn, and a pair of matching, monolithic silos. The vague sound of fluffies trying to whisper tickles the ears as the breeze picks up. I give my fluffy amigo a once over, making sure the orange dyed straps and kit he is wearing is concealed against his thick, luxurious fluff, before gently giving him a slight shove from our orchard position and toward the site of the fluffy invasion. “Showtime Mercator, time to earn your sketties.”
Mercator blows a raspberry at me, before he sets off with an idle trot toward the barn. For all of his… personality, he is probably my best friend and easily the best co-worker a guy can have. It also helps that the little bugger is a hell of a sweet talker with other fluffies – one of my main weapons when it comes to the process of trapping and relocating. The rest of the weapons in question are in my bag. Scented lures, fluffy safe leg traps, pressure sensitive dome traps, fake mares covered in adhesive and pheromones to catch the more rapey stallions and smarties. Even have a handy tranquilizer rifle made out of an air rifle. The less than lethal traps are my main tools, but when it comes to herds… Never hurts to be safe.
>>708828879
Okay. Stop. Just...stop.
The farmer doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would want the fluffies relocated. He'd want them fucking shot dead on sight. Also, why the fuck does the MC need a helper fluff? You don't need a goddamn pied piper to hunt shit rats.
>>708823523
The goth chick looks like something on Teen Titans GO!
>>708828879
That said, I pull out a collapsed looking tubular trap, covered in garishly bright colors and Christmas lights. A bit of tinkering in the back sets up a small oxygen tank, plugs in a few nine volt batteries, and secures a thick and very muffling padding on the inside. Disposable if costly but it works a charm.
I crouch, walking forward slowly and setting up the large tube trap. A fluffy sized hole makes up one end of the trap, and after making sure it’s secure and ready I make my way back to the concealment of the orchard, and wait on Mercator. In time out comes my orange and green agent provocateur, looking ready to give some very sorry hoofsies to a massive, blue and gold Earth smarty who walks beside him .
”Fluffy say stoopi hooman hid sketti house wound hewe?” The smarty looked around, cheeks partially puffed. Mercator played the fool, leading him forward toward my smarty trap, a pair of what probably were tuffies standing watch, or the fluffy version of it at the barn entrance. I winced as I saw a dull red tuffie going to town on a brown foal, the ENF ENF ENFing and cries of the foal loud enough to make me shudder and grimace, double checking the bolt on the .22LR chambered rifle at my side. Seemed like this might be a job for lead and not ‘seds.
The Smarty jumped with a start, a stream of liquid shit spraying out of his already crap caked rear fur as he saw the smarty house out in front of him. “Dis am smawty house naw! Get away!”
The larger fluffy shoved Mercator out of the way, charging recklessly into the spaghetti and mare scented deathtrap like a being possessed. Oh, did I not mention that while I love, adore and do my best to help fluffies, that a smarty makes trapping them without incident nearly impossible? Well now you know.
>>708828879
heh, very nice
>>708830651
>double checking the bolt on the .22LR chambered rifle at my side.
You said it was an air rifle before. Get your /k/ straight.
>>708830213
Well, I kind of think of it this way. If you're able to relocate them peacefully, it greatly decreases the chances that they'll scatter and then you'd have to expend extra time and energy tracking them down and then you might still miss a few. In which case, you might have the start of another herd in a few months time. Getting them all peacefully, you can get them to do most of the work for you.
>>708831296
That was one of those things I fixed after posting in the thread, when I was tossing that part into the word document. Fucked up the continuity there pretty badly. Sorry about that.
>>708824998
>>708825125
This is the fluffy translator originally posted in previous threads, all others are false- lingojam.com/fluffspeaktranslator
http://lingojam.com/fluffspeaktranslator
Clickable, actual non-shitty fluffy translator
Post results
>>708831299
>>708831649
As someone who actually does pest control for farmers and ranchers during the summer months, you'd be better off losing the fluffy sidekick in favor of a dog, give your MC a Henry H001, and use some kind of leg hold traps (Victor long spring #0 or #1). That way, when you catch a floof, it screams about biggest weggie hewties and when the others come to hug it better, peg off as many as you can using the Henry loaded with .22 CB shorts.
Do agree with getting the smarty first though. Then get the toughies, then find the nested mares.
Eh, it's your story. Write whatchu want.
Train of thought ran out of the fuel of creative ideas. I'll post the little I have left before going back and trying to make the story a lot better. Sorry for up and leaving it incomplete for now, but this was just a spur of the moment bit of OC that wrote itself, with no real ending in sight or mind. Once this intro story is done I'll hopefully repost it in a fluffy thread, as well as the next story concerning the mysterious wights of Beaver Island. All that fun, fluffy based shit.
>>708830651
As the smarty made it into the trap, the pressure pad on the bottom shut the front door tightly, a faint static hum quickly silencing the smarty, before thin whisps of smoke wafted from the entrance of the trap as the plate was depressed and the door opened, the smell of well cooked fluffy wafting from the trap.
>>708832473
Much appreciated Anon. I just might revise and research and take your ideas. I suppose a fluffy being used to coax/calm/act as smarty over feral fluffies down is a bit passe, not to mention not the best idea. The traps sound super legit though, same with the lever action - would mean a good number of shots at the MC's decided rate of fire.
>>708823065
whats the story with them seeing water and they suddenly drown?
>>708833134
IIRC my Henry holds 21 rounds of .22 shorts. I use Victor #1's for ground squirrels. Have snapped my fingers in them a few times when I was a kid. Hurts but doesn't break the skin.
>>708833380
I don't remember the origin story, but the premise is that fluffy ponies are so pants-on-head retarded that the mere sight of large volumes of water will cause them to dry drown.
>>708833380
It's a play on the old mem about turkeys being so dumb that they look upward during a rain storm with their mouth open, get hypnotized and eventually drown.
Fluffies are supposedly so dumb that they drown just by looking at water.
>>708832473
What type of animals do you typically remove? Coyotes? Groundhogs? Where at?
Also, I'd like think that fluffies aren't your typical pest. Since they can talk, some of them could perhaps be reasoned with or at least maybe logic bomb trick them into leaving. Perhaps I'm simply ascribing too much intelligence to them.
>>708832473
Are you YippySkippy by any chance?
>>708834818
Edmonton region of Alberta. Mostly rabbits and Richardson's ground squirrels.
>>708835024
Yup. You got me.
Recaptcha really sucks tonight.
>>708834818
from what i've read, feral smarties are usually too stupid and stubborn to leave when a human confronts them. They end up getting the herd slaugtered
>>708835255
Aah, gotcha. The rifle gave you away.
>>708835347
I think I have read one or two stories where the "smarty" was actually smart and asked politely if they could have some food for their herd/stay in someone's yard rather than demanding like a petulant child. I'll have to see if I can find them again.
If I'm just imagining it, it would be a rather interesting idea for a story.
>>708835600
It's the one I used in "About Time" to dispatch Ronald. They're pretty sweet guns especially when you catch them on sale.
I've also added a Norinco JW-21A and a JW-21B to my lever .22 collection. Eying up a Browning BL-22 right now. Maybe after Xmas.
>>708835999
Headcanon here is Herd Leader =/= Smarty.
>>708835999
Thanks Anon,
>also nice trips
>>708836167
I went through about a dozen more pics of the H001 plus one youtube vid. I had trouble with the hammer. Sucks when I can only use handguns plus an air-rifle. Still not thinking about returning to the booru?
>>708836167
Yippy, can you please reupload your fluffy folder sometime soon? I was the guy who asked last month.
>>708836708
Oh, hey Dust.
I wrote one story for 4chan since leaving the Booru. The new job is going good but I still don't have too much fluffy inclination in me at the moment. Maybe it's ~because~ the new job is better than the old one.
>>708836708
Damn nice colors on that piece.
>>708833536
>>708833631
Thanks anons
>>708837148
I was going to do that, wasn't I?
It's going to be out of date obviously since I haven't been keeping up with the Booru but I'll get it up on MEGA maybe later tonight. If there's a fluffy thread tomorrow night, I'll post links. I think this time I'll break it into four or more pieces.
>>708837315
Well, that's great to hear. Possible even better, than if you were to return to the booru. And again, I wish you the best of luck.
>>708837757
Cheers. I don't use colours very often though.
>>708838460
Thanks.
And you did do a really awesome job on that pic. ~WAY~ above and beyond what I was hoping for.
>>708837315
>>708838460
hey fellas, fancy meeting you here, DW reporting in again. and when you do use colors, fudt, you use em well =]
>>708839105
i dont know why i typed fudt, i musta had a ministroke
>>708837885
Thanks man. I really appreciate it.
Bump
>>708839105
Still think Purina "Spanish Fluff" kibble should be a thing.
>>708839766
maybe for breeders only lol
>>708839014
Well, I'm glad to hear that. Not quite happy about the rifle vs. man proportion, but eh... If you ever want another picture, you know who to call.
>>708839105
Hiya DW, and thank you, but I still prefer my grayscales. That said, I've started a new pic this evening and this time I'm using colour pencils. So far it's looking pretty good, but as far as I am (finished a brown alicorn runt with a deformed leg), there are hundreds of ways to spoil it.
>>708839924
Yeah. Eat it and you'll breed with anything.
>>708840144
well you know i cant wait to see it!
>>708822318
Can someone please explain why these threads are a thing again?
I saw a thread explaining what it was about like 8 months ago, but didn't lurk it.
>>708822912
The chick is hot
>>708842450
Did you ever want to murder the Care Bears? How about the Telletubbies? These things are designed to induce the sadism often felt to cutely pathetic things.
If you don't want to start liking this type of thing i recommend you leave. It's an acquired taste after all.
>>708842450
Enjoyment and entertainment. Whether you want to vent your real-life frustrations, want to see sugary, care-bear-esque abominations to suffer or just want to see pastel ponies get hugs and love, you can find everything in here, you just need to ask.
>>708842956
>>708843022
He's not asking what they are, he's asking why they're suddenly a thing again.
Well Anon, I first started with fluffy threads about a year ago and there have been several a day since then. They never went away.
>>708842503
Breaks my heart that we will never have something or someone who gives love to us like that. Unwavering, undying love.
>>708842956
I'll take your word for it. Enjoy the thread.
Oc
1/2
>>708831302
This made me laugh so hard.
RIP THREAD
>>708844885
>>708845019
OC:
>Be you
>Going to your house after a long day at work
>You are on your car, going home
>Get in home
>Take the keys
>Open door
>You go and take your coat off
>You go upstairs, to your room
>And in middle of that, you hear something
>You hear a "Mummah wub babbehs, babbehs wub mummah..." or something like that
>You go faster
>When you reach the second floor, you smell something
>It's shit
>Shit everywhere
>Oh god no
>You see a pink thing behind your bed
>It's a fluffy dam, hugging a foal while another vermin drinks milk
>The litle fucks didn't just enter your house, but they covered everything in shit
>Your patience dies
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING VERMIN?!"
>>708845428
OC:
>The mare hears you and looks at you with horror
>"EEEEE NU WIKE SCAWY BOICE!" The dam says while she shits
>"Mummah, babbeh scawed, make evil munsta go way" Her hugging babbeh asks
>The mare goes from scared to brave
>"Dummeh munsta, mummah nu wan dummeh in pwetty housie, ou scawe babbehs, go way!" She demands
"Oh, actually, no, i'm not going away, this is MY FUCKING HOUSE!"
>The mare puffs her cheeks and her little vermins cry in terror
>"Nu cawe! Dis fwuffy housie nao, go way!" She yells
>You're mad as fuck
>You grab a foal, the one she was hugging, he's crying and chirping in complete horror, you look at him, and bite his head off
>"NUUUUUUU! BESTES BABBEH!" The pest cries
>She runs at you and headbutts your leg
>No pain at all
>You crush her legs one by one while she screams in pain and agony
>"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! NU HUWT WEGGIES NU MOWE!" She asks crying
>You grab a foal and he shits while saying "Mummah! Hewp!"
>The mare tries to do something, anything, but she fails
>You squish the foal's testicles with your bare fingers
>"EEEEEEEEEE-" the foal screams
>The mare is crying, shitting, pissing, everything she can do
>You throw the little dumbass to the window, he falls to never be seen again
>You do the same with the remaining baby
>You take the mare and use her to clean her own shit, she smells like crap, vomit, and piss
>She just whispers "...Nu smew pwetty... wan die... am wostest mummah evah..."
>She's broken
>The only remaining thing to do is getting rid of her
>Window and bye bye
>What a good day
>>708842717
My headcanon is that she has a tiny 4 inch girlcock.
>>708845561
>What a good day
How the fuck is that a good day? There's smeared shit all over your bedroom, some sort of hole or entry into your home and also (likely STI ridden) fluffy blood in your mouth.
>>708846146
Ironic
>>708846107
>Girlcock
>Girl
>Cock
Choose one
>>708846275
I'm just saying, that doesn't sound like a good day to me.
>>708846107
>girlcock
>cock
I believe the word you're looking for is: "Vietnamese Hooker".
>>708846397
Fucking not this cancer again holy shit.
>>708846743
Hey, whatever works.
>>708846420
Seconded. I enjoy cleaning and housework, but cleaning excrements and other juices - I'd probably add my own vomit to those.
>>708846875
There are not girls with cock, just men with tits
old art bump
>>708847471
>>708847471
Donawd Twump wiww buiwd waww!
>>708847786
When is the election day again? Is it soon?
>>708848532
It'll be November 1st this year. It's always the first Tuesday of November. Sooo, in less than 2 weeks we'll have a new President-Elect. Hopefully, it won't be that lying, corrupt, self-serving bitch Hillary Clinton.
>>708849005
Always the first Tuesday of November? Didn't know that. Why is that? Is there a reason? Also, as a Yuropoor Slavshit I don't have any say in this, but I'm just happy it won't be Bernie.
>>708849005
>>708849328
It's the first Tuesday after the first Monday. So November 8th, not the 1st.
>>708849005
If I was an american, I'd rather vote for fluffies as president than for any of the available candidates.
But that's not because Fluffies would be better presidents, no, no.
It's because with a fluffy you KNOW it fucks up.
With any other human candidate you always HOPE he / she won't fuck up, but it's always the same.
Either the new president will fuck up in the future or has already fucked something up so much that it will carry over into the presidency.
Maybe both.
It's always the same with politicians.
>>708849504
"my oppownent iz big stupid dummeh!"
"nu! am smwawty! my oppownent wan give poopie fluffehs fowevah sweepies!"
"an' my oppownent NOT wan gif poopie fwuffehs foweavah sweepies"
american public: wan die
>>708849328
Copied from Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Election_Day_(United_States)
In 1845, the United States was largely an agrarian society. Farmers often needed a full day to travel by horse-drawn vehicles to the county seat to vote. Tuesday was established as election day because it did not interfere with the Biblical Sabbath or with market day, which was on Wednesday in many towns.
Also, I was wrong about which Tuesday it is. This anon was right. >>708849485
>>708823782
Well shit anon, I hope you're still around cause I've got a review for you for what you've already given us:
This is solid work! Your flow of writing is great, you get to the point quick enough, and I'm seeing worldbuilding that's both paying respects to its origin while still bold enough to forge new trails. Your grasp of the language and how to progress a story are both pleasantly refined and it's easy to tell you've been the sort of person who's read for fun all their life. To top it all off, you're one of the few people who can take creatures like fluffies and give them real individuality and character.
I've got a few gripes that I'm hoping to stab you in the heart with, the chief among them is what I bemoan as "teenage girlisms" - changes in pacing, silly rhetoricals, the like. Things you'd see all the time in 13-Yo-autist-cousin Jacquelyn's writing but every so often will turn up in a good writer's text when they're trying to rush to the fun bit but still want to keep up that sassy attitude throughout. For example:
>Fluffy trappers? I know, I know
did NOT need the question fragment at the start. Asking and then answering a question is juvenile in all but the most delicate of circumstances - you could just as easily start with "I know...". I see what you're doing - connect paragraph A to B, but trust your readers a little. Don't hold our hands because if our hands need holding we don't deserve you anyway.
>His voice is rough, like unexpected anal sex in prison.
God damn you can do a lot with this joke, but you don't do it here. You're writing this sentence like it's keeping up a sass level that doesn't mesh with the rest of the story. It does make it pretty plain that you didn't write this in one go, and have instead come back to it with different states of mind a number of times. Try stuff like this either with more levels of abstraction or with more buildup.
Either way, running out of chars but hope you keep it up!!
>>708850484
Oh, okay. I've never thought there was a set day for this, let alone to look for its origins. Thanks for the info. I feel like I've learned something meaningful.
>>708824700
>With a sound that can only be described as a dying, steel mule the truck stops.
I think the comma isn't in the right place, that should be
>With a sound that can only be described as a dying steel mule, the truck stops.
>His voice is rough, like unexpected anal sex in prison.
Bah. Maybe consider
>His voice is as rough as his face.
>His voice is as rougher than the dirt road we came in on.
>His voice has the coarseness of a life-long smoker.
or something
I would
>Bloodshot eyes glare out at me from above white, coarse looking whiskers and a mouth that reeks of cheap beer, “Took your sweet damn time, city boy!”
>>His voice is... or maybe "With a voice as rough as his...
>I start to try to placate him, but he cuts me off.
>"You took my sweet time, too."
>He starts to say something else when he spots Mercator.
>“Hewwo mistuh! Hwee aww hewe to swolve you fwuffeh prowbem!”
>The farmer's nostrils flare. His face contorts to a look like he just caught someone despoiling his favorite daughter...
etc
who wants some more egor?
>>708853140
>>708853376
>>708853140
>>708853376
I don't know whether I am saddened or relieved that there aren't more comics like these.
So what are you fellow fluffy posters listening to? Scott Walker here.
>>708854109
kinda swapping between House of the Rising Sun - Animals and Brain Power - NOMA because I'm a fucking eclectic .
>>708854938
>>708855446
Ah, didn't mean to quote. Sorry.
Can someone dump fluffy deathrun?
>>708856178
told me file size was too big
>>708823523
wonder if the goth has a name
>>708842717
>>708857469
>>708852638
Has he put out anything new since this?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=q5xeWOGFIA0
>>708850152
>>708863531
Best
