How often do you think about suicide?
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
How often do you think about suicide?
>>707553014
everyday.
A lot. Got some meds but they don't work anymore, gonna talk to my doctor about getting something stronger
>>707553014
Every night. Keeps me up for hours.
>>707553014
Daily, some more than others. I've tried meds and all, but never really changes much. I think about it even when I'm in good moods though too, not sure why.
Grown used to it over the years, never mention it to anyone. Doesn't bother me I'm more intrigued about just doing it now, see what it's like.
Everyday then I go on here and I feel better.
You people are fucked up.
Once a week or so.
I suffer from bipolar disorder and it's been treated well with medication and therapy, but the thought still crosses my mind occasionally.
>>707553014
In all honesty, if you think about suicide, you're inferior. Who can trust you if you can't even trust yourself? This is the survival of the fittest. And if you lot want to kill yourselves, then go ahead and do it
>>707553111
This anon knows.
>>707553014
everyday.
>>707553111
same
>>707553014
for years I used to think about it everyday. I think something has been killed in my brain that I only think about it every few months now. It's been once a week lately though. I wish I'd get hit by a car crossing the street, instantly
think bout it everytime.. blowing my brains out would make me feel so much better.
Used to a lot when I was younger. Went to therapy for it but a schizo vibrating in the corner made the whole field seem pointless.
>>707553014
umm been suicidal since 6. every day for sure. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bi polar, depression, multiple personality disorder, add and ptsd. I used to take meds, but I feel like my "insanity" is a side effect of my intelligence. so the meds just seem to "dumb me down" and make me feel stupid like everyone else.
>>707553014
silly girl
all shes going to do is blow her face off and die an agonising death
someone should have taught her to angle the barrel towards the back of her head
modern education is shitty at best
Everyday.
Don't take meds, I don't even know what to do anymore
>>707553014
erryday
AT LEAST ONCE PER HOUR
>>707553014
All day when im on xanax it helps though i'm so antisocial it helps me feel better plus im losin weight
>>707554833
how does mpd works? can you film yourself talking to yourself without the other yourself knowing it?
>>707554833
Their*
>>707554978
stop taking xanax.. it will only get you worse..
>>707553014
Probably once every two weeks.
Sticks in my head for about 5 mins then I forget.
Not depressed, actually have a decent life this is probably the normal amount people not undergoing depression consider suicide.
>>707554945
Amateur, at least once per MINUTE
>>707553014
only when i wake up
>>707553014
Every goddamn day, what's worse is not believing in afterlife, so no matter how bad it gets here, it's all I got so I can't go.
>>707555332
its not a goddamn contest
>>707555332
>>707555266
>>707555166
>>707554940
>>707554933
>>707554833
>>707554921
>>707554572
youre all pussies, just do it already
I'm high as fuck but I feel need to say this. I'm not going to go into the debate of the "right" to die, but that you're better and stronger than what you are now. You all are strong enough to make your lives better in some way, any way, but I promise you it can be done with willpower.
>>707555570
wofbtinf dqlsldb faggot. i think i made my point clear
Honestly I was thinking about suicide just before I came on 4chan.
I have a decent job. Graduated college. Was thinking of doing masters while working.
I have a gf who is too busy to fully meet my needs imo (although I'm needy hence I'm suicidal). Don't let her know though.
I don't see any bright future. Getting bored on relying on games. Job is almost better than my life. I have no good friends. Just group of people I can hang out with if I ask what they are doing, but I don't get invites normally. This is because they thought I was busy and rejected going out often. Regardless I don't feel like their true friend.
I feel really alone in tempted to end it honestly.
>>707555570
i know.. but the feeling to end it all is always lingering.. why play a game when its not fun anymore
Everyday. Every few hours
>>707553014
At least 3 times a week.
Never... Until I realise I'm awake and alive another day
>>707553014
about once a day, usually during commute when i fantasize about getting shot by a freeway sniper from an overpass. but i guess that wouldnt be suicide hahah
Does everyone genuinley think about it everyday? Or are you all being sarcastic because i wanna know if im not alone in feeling like an heroing myself each day.
definitely daily, sometimes 3-4 times a day. at the very least once a day. been like that for 10+ years, but "talking about it" is for fags.
>>707555682
>Know that feeling. I don't talk with anyone outside of work now.
>Play video games but no longer do stuff with guilds. I just can't seem to interact with people anymore.
Only thing that prevents me from suicide is this - Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just transfers it to someone else. I love my mom and dad and would never do that to them.
So I keep on keeping on hoping something will change. Who knows. It might.
>>707553014
yeah, but then I think about Trump and how at least thank god I am not him and dont have to live with that shit all day long,
>>707556041
PAIN TRANSFER RITUAL? so how do I use it while keeping myself alive? I must figure it out!
>>707553014
every time i get on the L. the train comes and i think about how it would feel to get crushed to death. I'm pretty happy with my life but theres a voice in my head that always brings up the thought of dying in front a lot of people at rush hour.
>>707553014
Periodically. Just as a reminder that I'm not tied down to this reality.
Think about it? Or actually consider it? Two different things.
I think about it daily and consider it maybe once every few days.
>>707553014
Every second I'm not on 4chan
Once or twice when I was in middleschool, but I've realized much about life and how it's ENTIRELY your choice to keep living, if you're too week to realize that or take other's advice then it is what it is, people die every day, if you're in such a rush because of fear or your ciscumstances, then fight the fear and change your situation. people that blame it to "sickness" that is an excuse to not fight it head on, by yourself and so is using depression medication. Fuck you all okay bye.
>>707556041
agreed
i've only got a few more friends that will put up with my shit, and even they are starting to scatter away into their own lives
i would've done it already, i just don't want to see my bro sad over me.
>>707553111
/thread
>>707556499
i know that feel anon
>>707553111
same
>>707553014
Ever since i upped my anti depressant, almost never
>>707553014
OP if I woke up every morning to her undressing and getting into bed with me I would never contemplate suicide.
I have thought about it every day for ten years. But, not because I'm unhappy or hate my life. I have a pretty good life, I love you wife, I have the things I want. It is just a fleeting thought about what it would be like and how things would be after. It's strange, honestly.
I usually think about worse things than suicide.
But then I get drunk and become happy.
>>707556224
One thing i need to ask you - are you on any meds? Blood pressure for example?
I used to be on (not going to mention it) and it gave me horrible thoughts all the time. I got off it and those thoughts went away.
As for how to keep going this is what works for me. I have a small garden and a hummingbird feeder.
I take pictures of the bees and dragonflys, butterflies and hummingbirds that come there.
It relaxes me and I feel a sense of peace in my garden.
I also don't watch tv and try to avoid negative people and things (to the best of my ability).
Being out in the sun also makes you feel good.
So try that.
>>707553014
Im scared of my own thoughts
Gf left me.
Suicidal ideation was always there
But now I'm spending a lot more time planning
>>707555010
emagine each emotion has segregated itself out so far that depending on what mood your in, you have completely diffrent ideologies, philosophical beliefs, desires, and ideas, and you don't know who "you" are. only who other people know you to be, and who they discribe yoy to he to them, having a moment with your significant other where they cry and break down, and you ask them "what, what's wrong, what happened" and they say " your gone, your not you, I just... I just thought you would stay a little longer but your gone... again"
really nervous about buying the rope....its just going to be so awkward at the register.
>>707557357
Just use a dog leash or something
Are you planning on a neck-breaking type hanging?
>>707557326
sure that wasn't a dude anon?
My best friend is dead. two other close friends either ignore me or just use me. I think about killing myself on a near daily basis. I had a small amount of time, a good 3 days or so, when I started playing magic and WoW, where things were alright, but it just went right back to shit.
>>707553188
Do they just give them to you? Or do you have to see someone like once a month to talk about your problems? Then they determine whether you need more or not
Used to be all day every day. Not so much recently though. I still don't count it out of the cards, I just don't feel like I need to that much anymore.
>>707557357
If the goal is death, why do you care if it's awkward or not. It's not like you're going to see anyone again anyway
More like when do I not
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide"
>>707557624
Because time doesn't pass and then cease to exist. Future generations will be able to see into the past via parallax universe bending. They won't be able to travel, but they'll be able to see any single moment in space and time.
Randomly. But usually when facing really hard time (lost two grandparents within a month of each other, for example) but I've found exercise and Christianity to really help.
I'm being serious here, I saw a real decrease in those kinda thoughts as well a less swevere depression once I started lifting weights. This solved a lot of body issues. Im still 320 ish but I can bench 245 or so. It makes a man feel accomplished.
For spirituality, being a Christian, going deeper helps some of my flaws and makes certain activities less able to lead me to depression. Because I believe in Jesus,it takes some of the burden of life away, leading to less thoughts of suicide.
All in all, self improvement has helped me the most. Spiritually and phyaically
>>707553014
Every morning that I wake up to an alarm and realizing that it's just me and no one else.
Think about it everyday. S9metimes I almost go through with it then I think about the friends I have left and family. I have a girlfriend I don't know what's wrong. Just sick of it I guess.
>>707558279
I wish I was stupid enough or simple enough to have "faith" in something.
Seriously
>>707557475
She is awesome
But she has a drug problem and serious mental health issues
>>707558279
Good on you man.
I don't feel 'Envy' much, but when I do, it's always toward people who are able to have faith. I used to, and I still try to, but I'm just unable to bring it back.
Glad to hear you are doing well. Keep it up, and don't let anyone bring you down.
>>707558711
Its more simplicity. I don't much care to live a complicated life. Its also mentality. Because I have faith I worry less which leads to a simpler life... I can say I've read a lot and studied philosophy until I became satisfied. It's not that I did a Goofy chuckle and went "Gawrsh, that Jesus is a swell guy. He healed my hedges!"
I think we complicate things and make bad decisions because we are fallen. My sister ran a small group, by the end of it, she was the only one not on pills. She's much more dour than I am
curt cobain at his finest
>>707553014
when i want to listen to frankie teardrop
>>707559128
You too. Its not too late, until the last second.
But for the non-spiritual I recommend study and exercise. For many, its just that they aren't healthy, like the obese, or that they think they know the answers, but are wrong like utopians or feminists.
Good luck, and I do pray for those here when I find a thread like this. Don't really comment much though.
>>707559457
>curt
Twice a week.
>>707559606
I always think of ghost rider
I thought about it nearly every day for about 12-13 years, but I was too much of a pussy to actually do it and chickened out on a couple of occasions when I went to do it. I don't really have any suicidal thoughts anymore thanks to drugs though.
>>707559457
>>707559805
it's all good shit
>>707553014
Daily.
>>707554833
>I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bi polar, depression, multiple personality disorder, add and ptsd.
fuck off
I try to simplify everything, boil it all down until it's just me. I am a receiver, and processor of information, in order for me to function, I need to be alive. In order to stay alive, I need to consider threats to my life.
So what immediately threatens my life?
Is it the opinions of others? No.
Is it what I see and hear on the news? No.
Is it the balance of my bank account? No.
Is it that the girl I like doesn't even see me? No.
Is it my past that threatens my life? No.
Do embarrassing or humiliating memories threaten my life? No.
Is it the insults and remarks? No.
Is it my title, rank or pay? No.
So why do these things keep me in fear when they cannot kill me?
What can threaten me by extension or combination of these things?
Isolation. Should I let it.
Malnutrition. Should I let it.
Depression. Should I let it.
Suicide. Should I choose it.
Here are some threats now, but nothing as serious as a mountain lion in my cave. So how can I meet these threats?
I must first value myself. If there is nobody who would or could value me, then I choose to value myself. I choose to experience good things, I choose to want good things, I choose to see my place in this world as a recipient of stimulus worth no more and no less than those around me for that is all we are.
And until there is a hungry lion in my cave, everything less can get fucked.
The thought crosses my mind most days, but a girl I'm fwb with is what's keeping me going each day. I actually love her with all my heart and want to have a real relationship/marry her. I'll probably kill myself if she decides to break off our relationship but I can never tell her that because it's a shitty threat to make to someone.
all the time
fuck, i remember this all the time.
this public speaker came to speak about his bipolar disorder and it all started out fine - he was manic and was enjoying life and everything went how ever he wanted to, he was in control.
and then out of nowhere, the bipolar disorder changed his nature and he starting doubting himself, his career, his life.
i remember him saying specifically,
that the human body in nature, is specifically evolved to stop threats.
he said that explaining why you want to kill yourself is the hardest thing to do, because how do you explain that your own body and every fiber of your being wants to kill itself?
>>707561552
>public speakers come to school to speak to us about a bunch of shit about life and mental health
>actually walk away from the day feeling more depressed and fucked up than I did before
Great job, school system.
Every. Single. Day.
>>707561052
You are so full of shit. If this is remotely true, it's simple. Stop feeling sorry for yourself faggot.
>>707553014
Everytime I get out of the bath and look at myself reflected in the mirror, so about once a month
Feeling even worse this week, my grandmother opened my bedroom door, no locks, it's an old house, and found me masturbating to an episode of Rainbow Brite (star sprinkled), I had headphones on and didn't hear her, she tapped me on the shoulder while I was moaning and had 3 fingers in my ass, she want to know if I wanted chicken or spaghetti for dinner, I sat in my closet for an hour crying, took a really hot bath and when she called me down for dinner, she just looked at me and said "I hope you washed your hands really good, let me see your fingernails", I just burst out crying, she hugged me and told me it was OK, my grandfather told me he is taking me to see a doctor on Thursday
I want to just go to sleep and die before I wake up
>>707562913
You actually read all of that? I made it to about the second line and gave up because it stank of smugness.
>>707563373
Wow. Just... Wow. How old are you?
When i was younger one day i thought to myself "fuck it, this shits gay" and decided to go into the kitchen to off myself but had to wait for the fam to get out first so they didnt stop me. They didnt hurry and i didnt care enough to do it anymore :/
>>707563373
hahahahahahahaha
>>707563612
24 in November
>>707555418
holy fuck. me too. thats literally the only thing that has helped me botch my attempts
>>707563373
I dont wanna point any fingers but she shouldnt have made finger food.
>>707555418
>>707563980
But if you did believe in all that afterlife shit don't most of those religions treat suicide as a sin generally?
>>707563964
Wow. Reading your story literally made me a little bit sadder. How come you don't live with your parents?
>>707564037
yeah i guess so... jesus is such an asshole..
he gives you a shitty life and then tells you after you die you can hang out in perma-comfy land with him and then you just want that and not shit on your plate life so you slit your life short and when you show up to his house party he just peaks out the front window locks the door and walks away and turns the music up...
>>707555950
What's the big deal? It's not like water is concrete or something.
>>707555950
RIP Gene
(Great movie btw)
>>707565037
Nice try.
>>707565037
Did you steal that quote from Stranger Things?
i used to think about it everyday. multiple times a day like a constant debate of the pros and cons drolling on int he background of my mind. then i had a kid and thought about it a lot less. then at the end of august my father who lived with me and my wife and son shot himself in the head in my house. i dont think about it at all anymore
>>707565795
Shit. Do you know why he did it?
>>707565877
If you watch The Bridge, it explains why Gene jumped.
I think about it because death sounds so beautiful. An eternal dream. I'm fascinated what lies on the other side. Can't wait to find out!
>>707566040
>>707566069
>I'm fascinated what lies on the other side
Err... nothing? Idiot.
Every fucking time I drop obv hints to my wife that I want my dick sucked, and she doesnt do it, but then complains because she doesn't know why Im not sexually satisfied.
>>707565877
health shit. diabetes was taking his vision. he was blind in one eye and going blind fast in the other. and then he started having digetive issues. lots of pain, was in the hospital 3 times the last month of his life and the kept turning him away to see a specialist. i thought thats what hospitals were suposed to be. he was a good man. really a great father. was always there for me. he was a cop for 20 years and not a shitty cop that just wanted to bully people but someone that genuinly wanted to help people. he always did all he could to help people that needed it even to his own detriment. it hurts and i miss him. i dont want my son to ever have to feel that kind of pain
>>707566144
I see anon's point. Is it god? Heaven? Reincarnation? Another human? No consciousness? Pitch black?
>>707553014
just made this. is it passable for a YLYL?
All the tme m8 66666
>>707566242
That's fucked up. Not sure what to make of him doing it in the house that his grandson lives in, though.
>>707556958
That describes it perfectly. It's just there and I can exit when I feel like it.
Pretty often, atleast they say hey as I pass them
ITT:
Japs.
>>707566625
thought a lot about that. i think his vision had gotten a lot worse because of the other shit that last month and i think the other shit was a lot worse than he let on. i know he would have left if he could have, I dont think he was physically able to leave. even his hand writing on his note was off and looked very strained
>>707554833
Bro u should rap
>>707553014
is that Kurt Cobain's daughter
>>707566946
Fuck. I suppose at least he left you a note, though. From what I've been told by other people that have known people that have committed suicide without leaving a note or message of some kind it can really fuck with heads. They have a lot of questions about why it happened and that's all they have because the person doing it didn't say anything to anybody, they just did it.
I did a lot when my wife died but I'm doing a lot better now :)
Also, my friend killed himself, don't do it just talk to someone
>>707553111
same.... i guess its just life
>>707553014
Constantly. I try to keep myself occupied but whenever i have a little time to myself my mind wanders to it.
I'm tired of putting it off. Tired in general.
It's so goddamn tempting. As they say, it's the easy way out.
>>707567197
>>707553014
Use to think about it everyday
Then I stopped thinking
>>707567311
>just talk to someone
I suspect most of us don't have anyone to talk to.
Aside from other anons.
You guys have been my only friends for about 10 years now.
I just got drunk and missed 6 different ebay auctions because I was distracted, and all 6 of them sold for $50 under value. It was 2 different items, and they are the 3 lowest under Sold Listings for each one. I feel like killing myself right now because I missed out on these. I had them saved on my Watch List, and I almost set an alarm so I woudln't forget since I knew I was drunk, but I didn't do it. I'm so fucking pissed at myself. Ugh, I fucking should do it. I know i wont' cuz I'm a pussy but I want to die right now. Fuck.
>>707553111
Same
>>707553111
yeah
>>707555520
yep. I'm a pussy. I stare at
>pic related
every fucking day. Maybe one day I'll just man the fuck up and do it.
>>707567555
checked trips, and I have to say, I've been talking to a counselor for several months. It doesn't change anything. There's no bright side. Just one day it will be enough, and it'll finally fucking happen
>>707553014
The reason why all u feel like killing urselves is because u guys can't find friends with similar interest also u guys don't know how to limit or push ur will power to do stuff, all in ur comfort zone
Its all due the satanic slavery system we are in right now
Just train ur life, ie do stuff u don't want to like get up out of bed, push ur fear, take cold showers etc
Because at the end of the day there are two types of people
The ones who want pointless shit and the ones that are happy with what they got
U just be hopeful and grateful u can even feel pain or fear
Just stay hopeful
>>707559663
dude you need to go out and find girls. you dont need to be into hook ups only. just go out meet girls get a number, add them on facebook.
you start dating them and do your old fashion romatic shit.
there is still plenty of good girls out there interested in more than becoming a young dumb single mum
>>707568045
>The reason why all u feel like killing urselves is
No. Stop. We have many different reasons. We're all different people.
Grow up before you start trying to offer advice to anyone.
>>707567311
>just talk to someone
>>707567555
You guys are not my friends and I wouldn't piss on most of you if you were on fire. But this is still pretty much the only place I've ever felt comfortable venting that kind of shit. I've tried to do it with friends and family IRL and that's just a bad idea, really.
7270 New photo leaks: http://www.jailbaitfans.ml/
>>707553014
Regularly... the war in my head is hell. The only time I was happy was when I was medicated into being a cucumber. I was useless. When I grow sick of the war in my head, I might just end it instead of being a medicated (but happy) useless zombie.
>>707553014
father drug addict jobless
mother quarellsome bitch careless towards me
i got high blood pressure
with job but not much money
virgin at 30 idk why but wheneve i talk with girl they move away and almost all of them got BF ..
i daily beg god to end my life in this hell .. so many die one way or other .. just god do me a favor and kill .. i m not good enough to live in this perfect world meant for perfect people from perfect country .. evry body is beautifull only i am ugly in evry sense
>>707567563
1st world problems
>>707568350
>>707567555
I totally get that. I guess I just wish I could have helped my friend. I moved away from his city a year before he died and still talked to him and saw him every now and again but life gets in the way.
If I had known how he was feeling I would have taken a week off work, gone to see him and done some awesome things.
always. when i used to be addicted to opiates and i had already spent my paycheck and already did the blues i bought LOL withdrawing days later and calling out of work wanting to die
Never really.
I've thought about the concept and how crazy it would be, but never felt the urge to do it.
Maybe my life is just too good, or im lucky in my circumstances but I feel I would need to go through fucking HELL in order to top myself. I'd rather become a drug fiending freak that runs about naked before doing that.
>>707553014
Well, seriously depressed a few times in my life.
At 17...but I didn't think about killing myself.
At 21, thought about it everyday for a year after my first love dumped me. Cried almost every day. Slept 10-12 hours a day. Was miserable. Somehow I woke the fuck up and got some help (started seeing a therapist after 9 months of depression). All good for 10 years.
At 31, I was in a horrible relationship and in the midst of an unplanned career change. The only thing that got me through it was being a father to my son (the woman I was in a horrible relationship with was not his mother...just a cunt).
For the past 19 years ..life has been good. No real bouts of depression. Career is great, I'm remarried, and I've learned that I have plenty to live for.
Thinking back, I was depressed because I felt helpless...that I had no control over my life. I finally learned that I do have control over much of what happens....I just have to take it.
For example, shitty relationship? End it. Get laid off (which has happened 4 times to me...high priced IT contractor). Find another job (never out of work longer than a month). Instead of being a witness to the shitty things that happen in life, take charge of what you can control.
Point is, if you're depressed, get some help....because it really has helped me (and my wife who is on antidepressants).
>>707557331
oh my god that is literally me. should i get checked? i've never considered the possibility of having mpd, i just assumed it was some bipolar streak fucking with my depersonalization disorder. i've been diagnosed only with the latter.
>>707553111
Yeah,this is how I feel
>>707569020
You're saying all of that in retrospect, though. What I mean to say is that I think that you right now believe that you would have gone out of your way at the time to help him because of knowing how it ends up. But if he'd come to you with it at the time you'd probably have just tried to dodge it. Not that I'm taking a swipe at you here though. Most people would do, or shit, they do exactly that and really you can hardly blame them. It's some pretty heavy shit to deal with, the answers are almost never easy, it's incredibly time consuming and it's just very uncomfortable to deal with. I'm >>707559932 and even after having suicidal thoughts for over a decade maybe one or two people I'm very close with ever learned about any of it at all and even then I regretted telling them. It's a bother to other people and more often than not they just won't understand anyway. Talking to others about this stuff is kind of a waste of time and energy as far as I can tell.
I always used to gauge my depression on how fat I was. I'd say "Ok, 240 lbs, but if I way more, I'm killing myself". And I always pushed the weight back. Right now, I can fit my own neck fit in my mouth. FUck.
>>707553014
used to everyday for at least 15 years. with a few breaks in between.
Realized what caused the breaks so work towards those that I can do something about.
I think most people that consider suicide do it because there is no goodness n their lives. Stability maybe but not goodness. Stability is having a GF, goodness is having a GF that you do sappy shit like just look at when she's sleeping and smile.
It the same reason people find religion.
If you can't find a GF find something you really enjoy doing that your passionate about, doesn't have to be your job but it helps. An active hobby that actually makes something not just vidja games. Join a club that actually does something.
Just be needed and useful.
took me a long long time to realize there is a difference betwee
>>707571169
>took me a long long time to realize there is a difference betwee
Difference between what? DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT!?!?!
>>707571667
sorry it posted and I just said "eh fuck it"
that there is a difference between ritual and goodness. Not that you really care.
>>707553111
/thread
>>707572016
I was interested enough to reply.
Never
Almost constantly.
i always think about it and fantasize about the different ways i could do it
i dont want to leave an ugly corpse behind, and because im selfish i want to kill myself while someone else watches
when my friend was suicidal i offered to watch her die but she didnt do it and has a family now
i just want to die and that's ok
every 30 seconds on average when someone bites the big bazooka.
and I scream, ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!
