ITT: we post true things about ourselves that nobody would ever believe
I'm related to three presidents
I once farted the tune of 'Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby' by Maria Carey
>>707549246
I'm Johnny Knoxville. AMA
I don't actually have crippling depression
My facesitting fetish started when my stepmom did it to me until she farted.
>>707550156
Is Bam as big of a bitch as everyone says he is?
>>707549555
Trips comfirm
>>707550650
Yep, he's essentially a spoiled brat.
I'm roommates with a sfx artist for the new star wars films so I get some inside knowledge on stuff before the general public, which is cool.
I'm a 22 years old kissless virgin
>>707550156
random advice for a young mexican boy like myself?
I am actually just three kids in a trench coat.
im a chemist powerlifter and while im moderately strong, i have no interpersonal skills so no gf for years. also have cyanide on my desk and contemplate taking it everyday.
>>707551053
All of the greatest people in your country are either boxers or engineers. Pick one.
>>707550922
Don't worry I didn't lose my virginity till I was 26.
>>707549246
I'm an undercover elite assassin and I'm not the president of a country which I am tasked to assassinate economically from the inside.
>>707551422
*now the president
>>707551422
Hillary?
>>707551141
Try talking to strangers
my family spent a week hiding from the Rastafarian gangs of St. Lucia for a week when i was ten
>>707551415
Well that is what worries me, i'm a social retard but i'm so obssesed with ass and pussy
Thinking pay for a hooker
>>707551558
Who are you and where do you live? Just curious.
>>707549246
Given the opportunity, I would rail her until I collapsed.
>>707551389
Scarily relevant. Choosing my major in college soon. Thanks bro.
I have a PhD.
I have extrasensory perception of magnetic fields. I can tell when metal objects are close to the bridge of my nose between the eyes.
>>707551766
But don't hire a hooker. You will feel like a disappointment afterwards.
My father is Donald Trump.
Worked for a spacesuit design and manufacturing company, and am in a commercial crew astronaut program. But I don't think I'll fly because so many are so much better than I.
i won a state cooking competition and placed 19th in nationals
>>707549246
I'm a fag :3
ive watched kids inject heroin into the eyes of a drunk schizophrenic teen
>>707549246
¿Why I act stupid so constantly and refuse to stop with the bad jokes?
Because sad people lose friends
I was molested at daycare when I was 4. nothing to hardcore but I got oral from some like 14 year old preteen dude. I made me pretty confused over the years.
>>707551141
Why do you own cyanide?
Placed 4th in a student animation competition in Ontario, Canada.
>>707551696
Did they try to force you to smoke weed and listen to Marley?
>>707552623
Well fought, Beaver.
>>707550156
Timestamp/pic of face
I'm a sweet girl with straight-A's and a nice family but I can't get away from my addiction to beastiality, rape, incest, and child porn
I don't have my dick in my hand while on internet.
>>707552515
Doesn't everyone have that?
>>707552648
How are they better? Can you improve or are you being lazy?
>>707553049
Yeah but that's still canadian animation.
>>707552651
What did you make? Cec here
>>707553447
Shit really? Guess my life is boring and mundane now thanks asshole
I kept rollerblading past the 90's
>>707549246
i have 6 different personalities. And i'm always faking.
>>707549246
Dick is 8.5 x 6 inches, and I'm a 29 year old virgin
I'm black but I have micropenis. My dick doesn't get past 3 inches hard.
>>707553819
There are meds for that.
>>707553845
every other part of you must fucking suck
>>707552623
Well fought Beaver
>>707553899
at least its so fucking shiny it could make a plane crash
>>707553366
Oldfag here, believe me, no matter your career path, you never grow out of it.
>>707553366
Nice trip dubs
p.s. no one believes you, faggot
>>707553532
I know right
>>707553899
Literally no one feels bad for you. Sucks to fall outside of the stereotype.
>>707553663
Well I've never talked to anyone about it, so maybe it isn't everyone. I just assumed it was because I never saw myself as special.
>>707549246
That I'm not gay and bought hookers
>>707553619
entree was mahi mahi and risotto, desert was zeppole, and entree was raviolo al ouvo
>>707549246
I just met the girl of my dreams, who agrees to do any abosolutely any sexually related idea that I may have, and who has absolutely no qualms in proposing any sexually related idea that she can come up with.
Honestly, I have no idea where this behaviour will take both of us in a few years.
I just fell madly in love with my future wife. We have both become the subject of the sex addiction of each other.
>>707554370
app was the raviolo oops
I have information that will lead to hillarys clinton arrest
>>707549246
I was a prolific thief, a decade or so ago. Any shop I worked in I walked out the door with thousands in merchandise. Most of my personal possessions today (books, games, clothes, computer parts) I stole.
I once jerked my sous chef off into some veg stock. Unrelated, we got a zagat rating earlier this year.
>>707553458
I am overworked while in grad school. And my grades aren't literally perfect. I'm attempting to pump out as much research as possible, and have developed a decent following of people who are banking on me to fly. Whether t be social media or local news sources. Problem is, all this stress, I actually don't think I'm happy.
>not the first in the space program to get on 4chan from time to time
>>707549246
That while in the army I was a gigalo for desperate fat women, and the occasional hot cougar.
very, VERY occasional
I've wanted to die since I remember actually having memories whoops
>>707553956
Not really, I'm tall and attractive enough, I just really don't like physical intimacy...Feelsbadman
>>707554517
what a waste of protein
>>707551136
Is your surname Adultman?
>>707554486
I'm an oldfag from late 2006
>>707553402
Mine doesn't start off that way but it always ends up followed by crippling depression and self loathing for once again fapping.
>>707554475
everyone does.
next
>>707552623
Well fought Beaver
I was kicked out of one of the top boarding schools in the nation
>>707554045
the fantasies are more and more violent each day, I'm pretty sure I'm going to prison someday
>>707549246
I never fap. Tried it once and it was fucking weird, so i never did it again
>>707549246
I have a great gf, a loving family, alot of friends, and none of them know I'm suicidal and contemplating ending it everyday.
I have 200 hits of clean L, 1g of coke, 1g mescaline, some mushroom dust, an ayahuasca solo kit, and a g of 2-cb here at home
AMA
>>707554263
My name is Charles Xavier and I run a school for gifted students just like you. I think you would fit right in. Would you be interested in joining us?
>>707549246
I used to race motorcycles (MotoGP) and was one of the top racers till I was robbed in Brazil after a race and I developed Agoraphobia.
It got so bad that I was afraid to even leave my bedroom in my house. I can safely walk around my house now but it takes all my self control to go outside. Needless to say I no longer race.
>>707549246
I've been trying to get my 2-year degree for 6 years now, and I'm still a year away.
>>707549246
I'm Rick Harrison, and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come through that door.
>>707555421
Have you ever talked to someone about those feelings ?
I was a sex slave as a child in a loose sense. I lost my virginity when I was 10 years old to my father.
>>707555655
Kek
>>707555655
Hey does chumlee like to keep a buttplug in while he works?
>>707555730
Ish, I've talked to a psychologist, but they concluded it was low metabolism, now that the metabolism is fixed, the thoughts are still there, everyday. but I don't like sharing it with people I know, I don't like that kind of attention.
I am an engineer with 20+ years experience, but am stuck taking care of my elderly parents, and trying to make money painting landscapes (something I can do during in-home care).
I constantly see accurate visions of the future, though I am unable to discern them from dreams until the events already happened. It's like Deja Vu, except it's legit clairvoyance.
I'm really into cream farting and a hentai addict for about a year. I also really hate dumb niggers. So far no one knows.
i'm not gay
I'm 19 and I've seen the life leave a mans eyes.
I'm sorry whoever you were. I didn't have a choice. we were both at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I'm really into cream farting and a hentai addict for about a year. I also really hate dumb niggers. Yep.
>>707551422
You forgot to teleport behind us
>>707550922
meh... its very comun in this generation
>>707555919
Even though the only certain thing in life, is death
I believe you'
re gonna be alright
I only love myself.
>>707556135
I often will almost run into people who do stupid things like cutting me off on the highway. I see the whole accident happen and as I slam on the brakes I notice that there is already damage there, where the accident would have occurred
>>707549246
>we post true things about ourselves that nobody would ever believe
There's more than 7 billion people on this damn planet, if you just count humans, at any given moment.
The chances are that someone, somewhere, under numerous circumstances, would believe something.
>>707556675
It's been going on for years, but I bet I'm too big a pussy to do it, when it comes down to it.
>>707556326
>story?
>>707554576
shipping out the 24th, I'll keep this strategy in mind
>>707556753
I don't love myself.
my english teacher in highschool gave me a footjob
I'm a pretty popular guy, have an amazing girlfriend of 2 years play sports in shape. I have over 5,000 pictures of futanari on my iPad.
>>707553845
wait?
>8.5 x 6 inches
?
your dick is the same size as half a piece of paper?
>>707549246
>ITT: we post true things about ourselves that nobody would ever believe
Fuck you. I'm going to use this thread to vent.
Holy shit, I'm a fucking mess.
What the hell do I need to do?
I should get some fucking sleep. I should also fucking exercise so it's easier for me to sleep, as well as other things.
I'm not good enough, so I should work on myself, but I might also need a plan, and more knowledge.
I also only have so much time; efficiency, I may need to multitask, it may be best if I multitask anyway.
Knowledge, intelligence, and a base for those things.
Enough of this impulsive bullshit.
Enough of this fucking emotional bullshit.
Fuck, fucking fuck, fuck!
I don't seed my torrents
>>707557251
Why
>>707557509
he probably meant length x girth
>>707557509
6 inches is the girth, faggot
i fucked my sister when we were kids without protection so many times that she got pregnant and had two abortions
>>707549246
i can suck my own dick
>>707552623
>>707552623
Well fought, beaver.
I've had sex
>>707549246 (OP)
I have a gf that means the world to me who has made me stop thinking about all the shit that's happened in my life. She paints, bakes, is a straight A student, obsesses over Nintendo games like me, shares the same fetishes, and has simply made me a better person. She tried to commit suicide last year and now she is ignoring my texts and calls, missing school, and is just looks as if she's at her worst again. I'm struggling with school, she feels like shit and stays in bed all day, and I am honestly feeling a little helpless at this point. We've done so much for each other and to see her like this is just devestating. I don't know what to do anymore.
>>707549246
Im not actually a pedophile. I just have occasionally fantasize about fucking my neighbors daughter or our 17 yr old daughter while i fuck my wife.
>>707550156
and this is can pop
>>707557675
Fucking animal
>>707553366
Wait, you mean that's not normal?
Clearly, there's only one solution. You have to rape your kid sibling with a dog.
>>707557686
Horrible person I guess.
>>707557894
Awh, how digusting and sweet.
>>707558121
Like hitler kind of horrible?
>>707557601
My best explanation is that stupid people tend to drive the same way over time, so it's not uncommon for someone who has been into an accident before to pull in front of you the same way again (exposing the damaged side to where you would have hit them). That's my theory anyways
>>707557626
"A sound soul, lies within a sound mind, and a sound body." - Maka Albarn
>>707551053
Get breast implants and start taking estrogen to feminise your body and also work out so that you arent fat Nd take really good care of your skin. Ame sure you get yourself professionslly done up to become a ladyboy.
That is all you can ever hope to do for a successful career as a man in mexico.
If you were a woman i would say tske good csre of yourself and become a hooker but insist on using potection every time. And get on birth control just in case. Then try to get an american soldier for a husband and have 3 kids with him so that you can make sure he stays. And then you will never have to worry about money.
>>707550442
Ummm...what? Green text fam.
>>707554596
Are you me, anon?
I've had sex with 30 different women, and never paid for sex.
>>707558221
Selfish, arrogant, narcissistic. The such.
I'm a famous footballer. I have won a Champions League.
>>707558657
Chicharito?
>>707558657
Have ye, aye?
>>707558556
>I don't love myself
>narcissistic
Well, I have some good news. You're not narcissistic. Self-centered at best (worst?), but DEFINITELY not narcissistic.
>>707558657
Are you rich?
I can't burp.
I never have....
Except once, which was really startling to me
>on a family vacation (cruise) when I was 13 I was propositioned by three older (35-40?) drunk women. I'm sad because I peaked so early.
>>707558765
No, he's a great lad though.
>>707558878
Yup.
>>707558983
Yes, not millionaire, but rich.
>>707556973
I can make a greentext about the whole day, but i'll keep it short, maybe another time.
>in convoy
>bout to turn onto a main road to get to another shitty village
>before we get on the road butterbar dickskin has wonderful idea
>anons 1 through 4 from truck 2 get out and use this compound on the corner to get up high and look down the road before we turn on to it.
>we decide im point
>best friend 3rd in the stack, watching right and the roof as we come up to the door
>place looks abandoned from the outside
>standard clearing of the first couple rooms until we get to the room with the stairs in it
>about to go up the stairs when a guy runs out from under the staircase (like harry potters room kinda)
>running up to me while i still have my weapon up like a fucking idiot
>thinking fuck this guys gonna stab me, shoot me, blow us all up etc.
>shoot him in the chest too many times even for regular engagement
>from the time he bolted at us from under the stairs to the time he hit the floor was easily under a second
>didn't have a gun
>didn't have a knife
>looked like he was between my age and 30
>just stared at me and gupped
>could hear his lungs filling with blood fast
>rear radios in to butterbar dickskin i shot a hostile
>couple more people from convoy show up in the room
>we all agreed not to say anything and just call it a hostile kill
>we were talking about how we would call this bogus kill while the guy was still dying
>get back into convoy
>continue with our day
>go back home after 2 more months
>unfit for duty now working at a country club for 11.50 an hour going to college night classes
>this happened in january
>he was hiding from someone other than us because we were the people he decided to reveal himself to
>he was probably looking for help
>only myself and 14 others know about this
still go to therapy every other week.
>>707555513
How do i make ayuhasca?
>>707549246
My Dad created basically everything behind Lego's Bionicle and got shafted by them.
>>707556234
And no one cares weirdo.
>>707558556
That's normal.
>>707559081
I havent done it yet, but from what i understand you can make it like shamans in S america do (collecting certain barks/roots, doing a special cooking method) or you can get powder like i did, and combined with other items (my recipe calls for lemon juice and a few other things) i make a brew that takes about a day to make
>>707552268
As would anyone else here.
>>707552999
How can trips come with such an ignorant question? Why wouldn't a chemist have cyanide?
I remember the moment before my birth.
>>707559204
Toyman? Is that you?
>>707549246
I'm black
>>707557626
I can recommend a few things, even if they're small, its something
>drink green tea
>meditate
>find a hobby that requires hard work and that you love
>introduce yourself to a lot of things, what people say about self teaching is a fucking lie
>climb a mountain, if u like that, climb a dozen more
>learn Chinese martial arts (why that specific? idk, im just naming chinese cuz theres a BROAD ass range of arts in there)
These may seem vague and silly but atleast try them and see if you like them, be thankful for the things you already have in your life, some may have even less than you do
When I was 19 I took the keys to my dad's 2007 corvette Z06 and raced side by side on a two lane road with a porsche turbo up to 175mph. I was in the wrong lane. It was 3 in the morning and I could see for miles as the road was totally flat. It was actually very stable. The scary part was we had to brake quite quickly because of a stop light and the car became slightly unsettled during that time.
>>707558657
Name the team you play for
>>707549246
I had a girlfriend once
>>707559379
Anywhere i can get legit instructions?
Also what are the materials?
I've owned two pairs of Oculus Touch controllers for a month or two now, but I haven't tried to use them yet.
To make it even more unbelievable, I don't keep them at home so I can't take a picture of them.
>>707549246
My cousin was in the top 20 remaining contestants at the World Series of Poker tournament this year.
>>707551136
Nice to meet you Vincent Adultman.
>"I did 3 whole businesses today at the job factory!"
>>707559436
Nope, and to make it even more unbelievable they set up a bot on wikipedia to change the entries back to their in-house creator's name.
I've exposed and have got 4 women recognized I know. I was almost caught by one. They called the cops and even asked if it was me. Denied it and nothing ever happened things passed and moved on
I was raped by my neighbor multiple times throughout my childhood. In highschool, I was raped at a party by a much larger guy than me. I hadn't even come out as bi. He just sort of took advantage of me. The only person I told this to, was a guy I thought I had fallen in love with, until he started abusing me. Then I fell into a deep depression for years until one day I smoked some weed and did some acid and got over it. The end
>>707549246
I accidentally became a child predator as a child
>>707559540
>>drink green tea
I stopped doing that.
>meditate
I stopped doing that, too. I did it a little today.
>find a hobby that requires hard work
I've always had that. I don't take any of my hobbies very seriously at all anymore.
>Introduce yourself to a lot of things
Been there, done that. Still doing it, it just doesn't cut it for me anymore.
>climb a mountain
Both metaphorically, and physically, I've done that.
>if u like that, climb a dozen more
I want to do that. I might go climb tomorrow.
>learn Chinese martial arts
I already know Chinese martial arts.
>be thankful for the things you already have in your life
I am, but I want more, and a lot of it is shallow bullshit.
>some may have even less than you do
I'm aware of that.
I'm still an unhappy piece of shit. Some people think I'm actually a pretty great and outstanding human being, but I think I'm a piece of shit.
>>707560164
Wouldn't that just make you a minor sexual predator?
>>707560247
Do you understand how memory and human thought patterns work?
>>707550066
Did nobody check these fucking triple dubs
>>707560331
If they were in the military, would that make them a Major sexual predator?
I once sucked the dicks of all the guys in my locker room when I was in high school
>>707560351
Do the top leading brain related scientists even know?
What is it, cognitive neuroscience? Maybe that only refers to the topic of intelligence.
>>707552568
Well fought beaver
>>707560247
Well, whether this is bait or exceeding my expectations, i do not assume.
Have you traveled the world? Have you lived in a foreign place before? Learned a foreign language?
>>707560514
Here's the tl;dr of it:
>when synapses x, y, and z fire in a pattern, they bring up a memory
>every time they fire in exactly that pattern, they reinforce that memory
We're basically controlled by thought patterns. Change the patterns, change yourself.
How do you change them, you ask? By making new ones. "Fake it til you make it" actually has scientific value, because doing the action still gets written to your brain. Do that for long enough, and you'll just do it not because you're forcing yourself, but because you've created a new pattern.
>>707560876
>whether this is bait or exceeding my expectations
I'm just being honest because I'm comfortable on this anonymous message board even though I may not be that anonymous to some.
I do not assume.
I don't, either, but it seems like my body and brain still react emotionally as if I do assume, even though I don't assume.
>Have you traveled the world?
Just a little.
>Have you lived in a foreign place before?
Just a little.
>Learned a foreign language
I grew up with multiple languages.
>>707552623
Well fought beaver!
>>707560956
>Here's the tl;dr of it:
I'm already aware of that.
You bring up good points I haven't thought about in a while.
>>707554644
under rated
>>707561387
Hmmm, well traveling nowadays takes more time and money so i can see why in most cases but aside from that the journey that you must take is the journey towards enlightenment, not as something to do but something to cure this ailment/predicament you are in. Sorry if im not helping much but im trying to take this from a Buddhist stand point.
Enlightenment is, in my words, happiness in everyday and knowing that you will be happy the next day, the next week, month, year, 10 years, until you die and living passing that on this valuable information to everyone you meet.
Sorry if im just blabbering onto you but if there is anything at all that needs to get off your mind, i am here, ill see if i can help to the best of my ability.
I tried to KMS by overdosing on my fathers meds. I couldn't get the child safety lid off the bottle, so I just went to bed and never tried again. I still cant open a medication bottle to this day bc im a dumbass.
>>707561457
Hey, I'm a clinically depressed piece of shit who spends as much time as humanely possible avoiding responsibilities and distracting myself from reality. I've been to therapy since I can remember, find Psychology fascinating, and I'd like to think I'm on the smarter end of the spectrum. I know exactly what I would/should do to treat it. I just don't. You don't quite have as much of an investment into being depressed as I do, so you have a shot. I suggest you take it. Make YOUR side of the fence greener, anon.
>>707549246
I've high-fived Taylor Swift
>>707561729
>Sorry if im just blabbering onto you
Better than nothing. It's possible that it was helpful.
>>707561740
It's also possible that this was helpful.
>>707549246
Dave Chappelle taught me how to masturbate.
>>707549246
Im 6'2 and its hard for me to fall asleep without being spooned by my gf.
I'm not a nigger
bmp
>>707549246
I've watched future diary 50+ times
>>707552623
Well fought beaver.
>>707563333
Weeaboo faggot
>>707557915
>17 year old
>pedophile
You're actually just a retard
>>707563808
newfag
>>707552623
Well fought Beaver
>>707561740
You sound like me, friends? discord/steam
>>707549246
My wifes lack of a sex drive no matter what i do. Negatively impacts my own feeling of general self worth and makes me want to get a divorce. But i refuse to get one because we have been married for 5 years and i would loose all my friends and my family would hate my fucking guts forever. Especially if i re marry
>>707550156
I'm Andy Samberg.
>>707552623
You've forgotten the face of your father, Beaver
>>707564200
Feel bad for you if kids. If no kids, then you need to change your situation.
I'll often masturbate in video calls with my friend without him knowing.
I'm sitting next to my roommate and he's groping his girlfriends nipples...
And I'm trying REALLY hard not to look because we're drunk and it's his business IMO
>>707553366
please be my girlfriend, is your first name so____?
Ive taken the v of 8 girls
Not a Virgin
>>707549246
I procrascinate so hard that it's killing me. I should grow up, I should be studying, graduate, get serious, but all I do is watch random youtube videos and animes (like the one in op's pic, I wasn't really into the show, sure it was funny at some point but it is repetitive and I just used to to escape reality) because I'm fucking GOALLESS, I hate what I'm studying and I always just think that I'll someday fucking kill myself.
Everyone thinks I got everything going for me, but actually I'm really at the verge of imploding.
>>707559074
How does it feel to be a paid murderer?
I'm a man older than 20 but younger than 30 with no real career path but find jobs easily and can make good money. I have a girlfriend who loves me and I love her too but I'm a lot more attracted to a femanon whom added me to snapchat and sends me n00ds. I also hate my life because I am addicted to painkillers, specifically oxycodone (which is the reason I was fired from my last job after being accepted for a promotion and dropped for a test). Yay!
I AM IN THE 28TH REALM BREAKING INTO THE 38TH SOON WILL REPORT WITH RESULTS
>>707549246
I'm a result of cousin marriage.
>>707549246
I once plotted to kill my ex and their new partner
>>707565021
about time, David
Im fuck buddies with a girl who just recently turned 14
I'm not gay but I really want to marry a man. Of course it wouldn't be a sexual relationship, I just want a bro to hang with every day. I want someone who is financially independent of me, someone I can emotional connect to.
Sure women are sexy, but deep down they are all terrible. They grow up knowing they'll never have to support themselves, that they can get anything they want from horny men. That they can legally get away with things like abuse, false rape allegations, and that they can get everything you care about ripped away from you in an instant.
You feel me?
>>707549246
I attempted suicide with a .45 caliber handgun, pulled the trigger and the gun jammed. Was to much of a pussy to follow through.
>>707565247
I feel you, bruh. No homo, bruh. Just taste it a little, bruh.
>>707565247
uh do you mean you want a best friend?
>>707565247
I feel you.
Location?
i still like my high school crush
>>707549246
Lost my virginity at age 8. Didnt know what it was or what i was doing. The girl was 9. Think her daddy raped her or something.... Me and her did that till we were 12... popped 3 other cherries and had a couple of sluts in the years to pass.
>>707555513
Indigestion from ingestin mescaline
>>707552623
"Well fought Beaver"
>>707552623
kaiokek
>>707552623
well fought, beaver
>>707564668
Just think about it this way, if u havent set yourself up for something permanently, u can be anything you want, hell you can learn Japanese and make katanas, the world is your oyster. In this day and age its all about prior and proper planning.
>>707559074
You can be a lot of things in this life. One of those things is dead. That guy could have come out with his hands up, he could have called for help. Who knows who he was affiliated with or what he's done. You made a decision to keep yourself, and your squadmates alive. So, out of all the things you can be after such a horrible thing as war...what you are is alive. Make your life worth it.
I've been in a cage fight.
I've got two YouTube videos closing on 1million views.
I've lost and gained probably ten times my body weight across the years.
I have good friends, but still plan to kill myself if I can't get somewhere genuinely promising by 30.
If that's the case, I have 5 years left to live.
>>707567200
> if u havent set yourself up for something permanently
I should graduate next semester but honestly have no knowledge about what I studied the past years. It was always studying for the test, then forgetting everything. And like I said, I'm goalless and that's the worst part of it. If only I had an interest in something else.
If anything, I'd say drawing is something I'm interested in, but deep down I'm really, really empty. ( due do regret,guilt, other stuff) And I don't know what would feel that void..
>>707554486
Dude, are you my bro?
>>707550922
I'm a 30 year old kissless virgin. Never even held hands.
>>707555132
do you have any outlet for the desires? roleplay or anything?
I've got some pretty fucked up fantasies but they only get worse if I dont have some outlet (that isn't commiting horrific crimes). rape roleplay, dd/lg, etc.
the cp addiction is a tough one tho. not sure how easy it is for somebody into that to transition those desires to loli or erotica.
>>707567559
Link?
4858 Leaked... http://www.jailbaitfans.ml/
>>707567637
Well, try to list some things you are good at or wish/want to do in the coming year and next year
Drawing is one, maybe give blacksmithing a chance, woodworking, martial arts, gardening
>>707568402
I must be going to bed but just know that you yourself are not worthless, at every chance it is an opportunity to become life changing and at the smallest a moment to take in and learn from. Everyones life, chances, and choices given to them in life are much broader than they appear, simply put, think outside of what you THINK you can do, and become it, the world is yours to enjoy, and spread happiness to yourself and others, whether you like it or not, you and everyone in this thread are my brothers, i only wish to see you strive
>>707568397
attack site
>>707556135
I have this exact same thing happen to me. Creepy as fuck. Nice to know some other bro has experienced this. I have tried to tell people and they think I am retarded
>>707549246
i made my dog lick my penis when i was 13. I'm sorry Odie
>>707549246
I stalk sexual predators. Not those people on the sexual predator registry, most of them got there harmlessly... but real, active sexual predators. I am using my "serious mental defects" in a positive direction. Some cops are on to me, intentionally looking away from where I am lurking at night. In return, I pretend that I did not know they are pretending to not spot me. Last week, another terrified healing perv-o moved away.
>>707549246
I don't feel bad when i see dying humans.
I think Hitler was right.
I would build new camps.
For the greater glory of Humanity United
>>707564205
Brooklyn 99 is Bretty good
>>707549246
Sauce on the animu?
I'm a 24 year old virgin who threw massive (200+ people, not joking) keggers my first two years of college.
I've done every drug most people have heard of, including meth and heroin.
I go out multiple times a week, have a wide network of good, close friends that I've known for years.
I talk to girls all the time
24 year old virgin
kill me please
>>707552409
We all do.
I'm m00t.
>>707560112
Bi dudes have to stick together.
I'd be your friend or suck your dick.
>>707568402
>>707568751
I hope you are still here, sorry I couldn't reply sooner. Thanks a lot, I hope I can pull it off this time because I've been through this cycle SO many times, that I'm just tired of it. so tired
I'm actually fat
>>707553366
Post your ass with timestamp
>>707553702
Holy shit. I haven't seen anyone on rollerblades in a really long time. Like 20 years. Wtf. I used to love to rollerblade when I was 13.
I have a one inch dick
With timestamp
>>707555421
Everyone is like that, dude.
>>707553366
Perfect girls don't ex-
>>707559551
>unsettled
I don't get it.
>>707559995
I don't get what you're saying. Exposed them how?
I've fucked two escorts. No one would see it coming from me.
I shower after every shit. EVERY shit. If im at work or out I keep a small syringe and flush once then use the syringe to suck some toilet water in and squirt it on my ass till im satisfied.
>>707549246
I was a student at Columbine High School from 1997-2001 and was in the school for the entire duration of the shooting.
>>707549246
>Related to a very famous historic physicist, though not directly
>Relative signed the Declaration of Independence
>I have three degrees
>I own three companies: a web development firm, a brewery, and a non-profit art center
>I'm polyamorous, not married but with one woman for a decade, one for 2 years and another for almost a year
>>707549246
I got raped at 12 by an 18-year-old high school girl. it was never not fun thought. the only reason it was rape is that i was too young for giving any legally recognizable consent. she preffered bj and being on top.
>>707572352
hint: her last name was harpin and she has a record with misdemeanors.
>>707554370
Sounds like shitty Olive Garden food. I doubt you won jack shit liar.
>>707565107
story?
>>707550922
Things people WOULDN'T believe, dumb ass.
>>707573016
Joke's on you, I'm actually a 23 year old kissless virgin.
>>707554655
Don't download your pictures from funnyjunk unless you rename them. Honestly the ugliest file naming system I've ever seen on a mainstream site
>>707573004
she's my friend's gf's sister. have been fuck buddies since May. she is an awesome fuck. during the summer we fucked at least once a day, now 3-4 times a week. she is on bc so we rarely use a condom, i cum in her almost every time. before me, she had only been with 1 guy a couple times.
>>707564385
same
>>707559066
Who are you mate?
>>707552623
well fought beaver
I won a jackpot of $5000 betting $1.25 a spin less then a year ago.
>i am a 30 male that believes he is destined to die in my 50's and leave my family broke and desperate..... i have no job and spend nearly all my time playing games and watching porn.
>>707573868
holy fuck are you me???? i give myself til 40 though
>>707573976
i am an slightly overweight guy, beard and glasses. tall but not quite 6'3.... i know i will die before 60 and all i can do for a job is cook shitty food for drunks.
>>707549246
One day I will be the 15th Baron Clifford of Chudleigh.
>>707556818
Wat
The crippling depression I attempt to hide is mostly gender dysphoria.
I am diamond 3 on league of legends and want to boost kids for money but have no connections
>>707549246
>have unassistedly gone 122mph
>have survived rabies infections without vaccination and can now hand rabies animals "safely"
>routinely fight off black bears in my backyard with homemade spears and shit
>am currently in a relationship closer than marriage with 2 9/10 ginger twins
>can stop and start my own heart
>>707549246
me & my entire village was abducted by aliens.
>>707549246
I'm a trained swordsman in both European and Asian styles.... i am such a fucking nerd...
>>707549246
been lurking on /b/ for almost 6years
got aprox 30posts and 2threads to my actif and i cant get to stop lurking atleast once a day
27yo kissless virgin
nuff said
>>707569090
Nothing strange
im an attractive girl with a twisted sense of humor.
>>707552623
...Well fought...beaver...
>>707553899
I bet you live in Bulgaria
The only reason I haven't killed myself is because my family would be devastated if I did it. At least for a while.
I think male homosexuals and "transsexuals" should be shot.
I detest Muslims.
I like reading romantic novels.
I make a lot of money smuggling explosives out of Albania and selling them cheaply to questionable Serbian parties.
I have strangled four prostitutes to death.
One of my best friends doesn't know my real name.
I have shot seven people.
I don't actually hate the Jews.
Being wrongly labeled as a psychopath makes sad and very tired.
I have never stolen anything from my family.
I have considered signing up as an adoptive parent for years but don't believe in my abilities as a potential father.
I'm not actually very content nor happy.
I rape and have been raped.
I think women can't help behaving like they do & that they are insane.
I don't to drugs and never have.
The love of my life was shot to death in the city of Muscat 12 years ago & I can't tell anyone.
I visit her parents on a yearly basis.
I feel very fragile & very small.
I'm starting to become alcoholic.
For the grand finale:
These kind of threads make me feel a little bit better.
>>707577326
That's dope
>>707577326
>homos should be shot
>I like reading romantic
>feel very fragile / small
>4 prostitutes
some quality pasta
>>707552623
We'll fought beaver
>>707550882
spoil it or fuck off
>>707551696
for how long?
>>707552623
Well fought beaver
>>707563333
I know who you are. Don't hide Goran!
>>707552268
>>707549246
What's the name of this anime chick ?
i'm in the top 43rd percentile of overwatch players
Ive got friends, family, go out almost every weekends where im getting blackout drunk and take drugs, ive fucked models, bodybuilders, men with faces and characters extremely beautiful and i dont have to spend a night alone if i wanted to. Still feel lonely and unloved
Social anxiety
Alchoolic
>You can connect the dots on this
