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Hey /b/. I have a story to tell. It involves retards. Interested?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 306
Thread images: 80
Hey /b/. I have a story to tell. It involves retards. Interested? Let me know and i'll post.
>>
Bringith the tards
>>
Why not?
>>
Tell me deh story mah nigga
>>
Do it dude
>>
Here's some hype: The Chronicles of Dylan: A tale of Autism and Awesome
>>
> Be me
> Be 18
> Attend shit High School
>Full of shit students
> But there is one I think is more shit than some.
>Dylan
>Let me describe him /b/
>Ginger,Messy hair (never showers),Smells god awful,Talks to himself,Very violent.
>Begin the story?
>>
>>707359799
Just go
>>
go you faggaloon
>>
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Lets do some background first.
>Be me
>Be 15
>Attend a shitty middle school (preceeds shitty high school)
>At lunch
>Kid sits by me
>Begins muttering to himself
>okthen.jpg
>Ask him what's up with him
>wrong move
>"What's up with me? I'll tell you!"
>He screams like no other
>Entire caffeteria is silent except for screaming tard
>whathaveidone.jpg
>He goes on a rampage,tearing apart cafeteria
>In reality he runs around throwing food
>Teachers try to stop him
>One grabs him
>Fails, as tard strength prevails
>He knocks the guy out
>wat.jpg
>He stands triumphant
>For a moment he seems badass
>For a moment
>Thats when he shits himself
>Oh god the stench.
>Molten shit drips out of his pants legs
>Suddenly a wild coach tackles him
>Full force
>mfw
>mfw coach got fired for it and kid got off scot free
>>
More to come. Give me time.
>>
Stop being a kikelr and post the rest

>>707360611
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan: The Return
>Be me
>Still 15 at the time
>In class
>Guess who got transferred in?
>You guessed it
>In comes Dylan,picking at his skin
>How charming
>Desk next to mine
>Perfect
>Decide to fuck with him a bit,seeing as how explosive his personality is
>Explosive,as in a crazy jihad sand-nigger
>Teacher does his thing
>Everything is normal
>Till Dylan gets tired
>He tries to sleep
>Teacher wont let him
>Bad move
>Dylan gets up
>oshitnigger.jpg
>He picks up his desk
>He throws it,while screaming
>Misses
>Hits a chink that sits near front of room
>Ended up breaking her collar bone
>He runs out of class laughing
>Stripping down as he runs
>School looks for him
>Can't find him
>>
cont.
>3 hours pass
>Ask to go to bathroom
>While in there, hear a noise
>Look up
>ogodno.wav
>You know the ceilings that are made of panels that pop up for easy maintenance?
>He was in the ceiling
>okthen.jpg
>He's giggling
>I notice something else
>He has a knife
>Bolt out of there
>Tell teacher
>Doesnt believe me
>Force him to go
>As he enters the bathroom,Dylan drops from ceiling hole
>Lands on floor facefirst
>Turns out those things dont support weight well
>He blames me for making him fall
>Teacher escorts him out
>I notice hes still naked
>Laugh a little,at his predicament
>Teacher thinks I started this
>All I did was laugh
>Get suspended
>Try to explain this to parents
>Plot for revenge
>>
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tard stories thread?

>be me
>2nd grade
>catholic school
>2 new kids show up
>a full retard who can't keep his head up, and his qt redhead sister
>plsdontsitnexttomeplsdontsitnexttomeplsdontsitnexttome
>sister plops him down on the chair like a bag of groceries right next to me
>Proceeds to drool all over the table for the entire 1.5hr session
>I mean his whole area is covered in drool
>drool dripping down to the floor like a Facial Abuse video
>I can smell it
>This happens for a week or so and then he stops going
>never saw him again, maybe he died
>mfw sitting next to him
>>
>Finally back in class
>Put plan into action
>While he's at lunch, I swipe his phone
>No lock on it
>Perfect
>Rig the phone to play a song on loop
>What song?
>The entire moonman album
>ogodyes
>Max volume
>Change his password to faggot
>Password hint? "You" (had too)
>Now his phone is locked up tight with a moon man song set to loop in 15 minutes
>Hide it in his bag
>Wait for my glorious revenge
>We are in class when it happens
>"SICKER THAN YOUR AVERAGE NIGGER KILLER"
>oh yes
>"TWIST NIGGERS HEADS OFF"
>He's flailing around trying to turn it off.
>It's glorious
>He begins to cry as the chorus begins
>"MOONMAN MOONMAN CANT YOU SEE? SPICS AND NIGGERS NEED TO HANG FROM TREES"
>He gets suspended for 3 weeks for hate speech
>Such begins our rivalry
Moar?
>>
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>>707363486
yes retard don't ever fucking stop. NEVER STOP. DUMP IT ALL RIGHT NOW.
>>
>>707363364
Its me posting tales of a retard in my class. Feel free to post your own. Make sure to bump to keep the thread alive
>>
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>>707363715
Will bump with schoolgirls and asses.
>>
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>>707363486
>>707363789
yes please to both of you
>>
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>>707363789
>>
>>707358440
it's working
>>
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>>707363995
>>
>>707363995
umm...
>>
>>707364180
kek you don't know who that is
>>
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>>707364147
>>
>>707363486
>>707363364
>>707362444
>>707362387
>>707360611
>>707359799
underrated pasta
>>
>>707363486
More
>>
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>>707364281
>>
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Go on...
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan: Part 3:
>Be me
>Be 15
>Be sitting in P.E.
>Sat next to Dylan
>He doesnt like it one bit
>Today we have to run,then we do some dodgeball
>yus.jpg
>We begin the run
>1 minute in and I see Dylan faking a cramp badly
>He decides to ramp it up a notch
>Begins convulsing on ground
>wat
>Screeching in "pain"
>Dont even notice how close I am
>To busy laughing
>Step on him by accident
>On his nuts
>He trips me
>Coach blows his obnoxious whistle and flags us down
>Asks us what the fuck just happened
>I reply honestly
>"I have no idea"
>Dylan claims assault
>Teacher brushes it off
>I don't
>Finish mile
>Pissed
>Dodgeball begins
>Still pissed
>Grab ball
>Very pissed
>See Dylan
>Target sighted
>Run forward with the speed of a thousand angry niggers
>Jump up
>Throw the ball with such force it makes a very audible SMACK, even over everyone talking and cheering
>Where did it hit?
>His dick
>He falls forward slowly
>Looks at me with such rage and pain at once
>Then he starts to violently throw up and convulse in real pain
>Taken to the nerse
>Everyone scared of me
>Noone fucked with me for the rest of the year
>Except for Dylan that is...
Moar?
>>
>>707363995
Also,wanted to say while typing. Can I get the name of who is in this picture?
>>
>>707364914
MOAR, MY SIDES ARE HURTING
>>
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>>707358440
I went FULL retard last night!
>>
>>707365190
Dyan got another cramp, guys.
>>
>>707365423
good one
>>
>i go drunk to the train with 3 friends
>see a guy who is pushing a girl that i know
>first i didn't notice the girl than she looked at me with here green eyes
>my friends see me going to the guy (they are ready)
>i give him a kick at his leg he is looking at me and starts pushing me
>i fall to the ground
>he is still pushing me
>i start smiling
>the guy is going off me
>one of my friend gave him a punch at his head
>guy still alive but k.o
>then the police came and they where thinking that we where the bad one
>they start looking at me
>one of them saying you ok
>i touch my face it fells weet
>my mouth and nose where bleeding
>i say yes
Funny my first post in 4chan
>>
>>707365885
newfag
>>
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>>707365885
Im not impressed.
>>
>>707366076
Nono I'm visiting /b like for 1 year but didn't post stuff me not newfag me good meme
>>
>>707365885
>"my mouth and nose where bleeding"
>"where?
>>
>>707365885
Where's the structure of the story???
>>
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>>707366308
wow obvious bait now
>>
I would tell you a better story but I'm scared of my English maby i will write something wrong
>>
>>707365885
I take it English isn't your first language. Or any other, since this is about as coherent as running the greentext through Google Translate.
>>
>>707365885
soo, the guy how push just beat you or wat?
>>
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>>707366433
>>
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>>707366529
>>
For the love of god, someone screencap this
>>
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>>707366590
>>
>>707366354
When you punch some one at his lips they will get cut and bleed and on my nise from the left
>>
>>707366528
Yea
>>
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>>707366634
>>
>>707366644
trip dub
>>
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>>707366723
>>
>>707366433
sauce?
>>
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>>707366813
depressed fag detected
>>
I remember Dylan. We go to the same school, you an I. Should tell the story of the time he sexually assaulted a teacher, OP?
>>
>>707366954
That comic was one of the most retarded things I've seen on /b/ in all the time I've been here.
>inb4 newfag
Yeah, I've only been here for about 2.5 years. Fucking sue me.
>>
>>707367055
do it, im gonna sit tight and drink chocolate milk
>>
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>>707367166
ok sir, will do
BAM
sued
>>
>>707367166
okay... great job with that inb4, youre a true internet veteran
>>
>>707367211
One dub
>>707367311
Two dubs
>>707367055
Three dubs
>>707367166
Four dubs in a row
>>
i hate retards.
if i could i'd have all the extreme autists and downs people neutered.
>>
>>707366777
Trips gotted
>>
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>>707367457
i got trips twice

FUCKING NOTICE ME
>>
>be me 13
>me and my school friends are outside
>we start burning paper
>we go to the streets
>we spot 3 young kids
>friend says i bet you don't have balls to scare them
>me starts burning the news paper
>i go to the kids
>there was a girl looking at me
>a put the burning paper on here hair
>she starts running
>and the friends of here are looking at me and are running to
>i start laughing my ass of
>my fiends are confused and start laughing to
>10 min later police found us
>and we didn't need to stay long because we where 13
>the end...
2nd try
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan: 4 : The retard strikes back
>Be me
>Be 15 still
>busyyear.jpg
>Taking finals
>Today is math, next day is english
>He constantly takes my pencils y write with
>Had enough of his shit
>Dig in closet
>Find old magic set from when I was 8
>Find what im looking for
>Next day
>He asks for my pencil
>I give him a pen
>He writes away
>ihavealreadywon.jpg
>Hour later
>Finished essay
>Turn it in
>He finished early so he slept
>He wakes up
>And screams
>The pen I gave him was from the magic kit
>All his work was written in vanishing ink
>Time was up
>Failed his exam
>Loses his shit
>Gets up to tell teacher about sabatoge
>Swap Vanishing ink pen with real one
>Evidence is gone
>Our english teacher is the one Dylan knocked out a while back
>He smiles as he marks a zero on his paper
>No proof
>Rages
>He decides to attack me
>ogodno
>He charges at me
>Stabs me with pencil
>Piece of lead breaks off in me
>Doctors had to remove it
>Tetanus shot
>Plot revenge
Continue?
>>
>>707367477
Autism and downies are caused by genetic defects
Downs is trisomy 21.
So regardless of what you do, more downies will always appear
>>
are we getting more dylan?
>>
>>707367674
Thar you go
>>
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>>707367557
That is not impressive.
This is though
>>
>>707367055
You have my blessing. I know who you are. Do it...
>>
>>707367772
FUCK
>>
Keep going come on
>>
>>707367660
Moar plz
>>
>>707367557
Not guy who posted
>>707367772
But that is impressive
>>
Come on
>>
>>707367816
relax that's nothing
>>
>>707367660
Sure, OP. This one's pretty good.
>>
>>707367999
BOI
>>
>>707367772
6 dubs and trips? Errr
>>
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>>707367999
Kek
>>
>>707367999
chek
>>
Keep writing the story faggot
>>
>>707367999
anyone else blessed? i got quads yesterday
>>
>>707363995
Eufjgh
>>
>>707367999
Jesus save us
>>
Keep posting in this thread get those trips
>>
I have to go back to work for 2 hours for the love of god keep thus thread alive
>>
>>707368411
Or dubs
>>
>>707368411
Checked
>>
Cmon OP, want some of dat tard tale
>>
>>707368234
This is not
>>707367772
>>
>>707368499
Oh shit it's happening again
>>
I want Dylan WE WANT DYLAN
>>
>>707368499
Checked right back to you
>>
>>707368307
K
>>
DYLAN
>>
>>707367672
then the answer is to exterminate them.
>>
lelelelelel
>>
Check em
>>
CHEXK EM
>>
>>707368730
I don't know if you read that but he said they'll keep coming back because it's caused by genetic mutation
>>
>>707368822
CHECKED
>>
We need more Dylan stories OP
>>
>>707368822
CHEXD
>>
>>707368822
REROLL NIGGA
>>
>>707368907
DOUBLE CHEXKED
>>
Check em, faggots?
>>
>>707369003
Fuckoff
>>
>>707368822
Double dubs.
Now link your own post, nig-nog
>>707369033
>>
>>707369046
Bye
>>
>>707369110
Off by one
>>
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DYLAN IS DEAD - THIS IS NOW A CHECK THREAD
>>
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hey guys
>>
>>707369255
>>
CHECK EM ALL
>>
I have to work tomorrow, faken give me Dylan
>>
>>707368832
yeah i saw.,
i'm saying though even if we can't permanently fix the problem then we should at least kill the ones that exist.

it's better to have rats coming into the house than having rats already in the house
>>
Link your own post thread
>>7073699555
>>
still hanging around for Dylans retarded adventures

fuck im out of chocolate milk
>>
WHERE THE FUCK IS DYLAN
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan: 5 : Revenge of Anon
>Be me
>16 now
>School dance coming up
>Decide to get revenge on Dylan
>How?
>Get him a date of course!
>After searching long and hard I find a good candidate
>Some tard by the name of Patricia
>Ask her real slyly if she would like to go to the dance with a friend of mine
>Screams yes
>alrightthen.jpeg
>Dont bother telling Dylan
>Dylan goes to the dance every year alone just for free food.
>Now he gets to find love
>Day of the dance
>I get in and watch
>Waiting
>Dylan is stuffing his face with food
>Thats when Patricia runs up
>Ogodno
>She squeals not unlike a fat dirty pig
>"I LUB YU DILAN"
>I kek'd
>He runs
>She pursues
>He runs right into the DJ
>Topples a speaker
>Breaks punch bowl
>Tears backdrop for dance pictures
>Coincidentally crushing the girl whose collar bone he broke
>As the dust settles only one thing is clear
>I have my revenge
>Chink got arm broken
>DJ left early
>Dyaln's family forced to pay damages
>itallwentbetterthanexpected
>>
CHEEEEECKK MAAAAATTTTEE
>>
>>707369489
Good job
>>
>>707369540
YAAAAAAS
>>
Bumping
>>
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>>707367660
OP isn't being a faggot today. 10/10
>>
>>707369540
yiiiiiiis
>>
>>707369588
CHEXD
>>
rolling
>>
>>707369588
FUCKING KILL YOURSELF
also checkd
>>
CHEXK MEEEEË
>>
>>
Moar fucking Dylan
>>
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>>707369540
fucking more now
>>
>>707364428
Anon. What's her stage name again. Peaches something?
>>
>>707369856
He probably did not prewrite
>>
fuck it, go quads or go home
>>
Someone SCREENCAP THESE POSTS>>707369540
>>707367660
>>707364914
>>707363486
>>707362444
>>707362387
>>707360611
>>707359799
>>
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>>
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>>707364914
GO
>>
Night cunts
>>
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>>707369540
Anon trade story, yes?
>>
>>707370145
No you
>>
>>707370231
I'm on a shitty mobile. I can not!
>>
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>>707370214
Noice
>>
Bump
>>
>>707370355
Chexkd
>>
>>707370411
Chexkd again
>>
>>707370411
Checkd
>>
Cmon bump for part 6
>>
I screenshotted them!
>>
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just posting screen caps
>>
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Here, for Dylan!
>>
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>>707370645
>>
>>707370645
Thanks
>>
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>>707370692
>>
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>>707370721
ladada
>>
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>>707370721
ladadadada
>>
>>707370761
Keep going
>>
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>>707370761
send coco milk
>>
>>707370666

▲▲
>i trust you satan
>>
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>>707370878
wtf is this captha
>>
>>707370941
Good job
>>
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>>707370983
and on that bombshell, goodnight
>>
>>707370666
I never knew I was satan!
>>
>>707371097
Much thank
>>
>>707371097
Tank you
>>
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>>707370666
>>
Hurry up we want dylan
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan: 6
>Be me
>Be in class
>Dylan stumbles in
>His stench follows
>Hold back vomit
>He's still pissed off about the dance
>Just doesnt know who did it
>Thank god I didnt tell the tard my name
>He's so pissed its hilarious
>Decide to make him blow up
>Just for keks
>Now in hallway
>Poke him to get attention
>He whisper shouts"WHAT?"
>Ask him how the dance went sarcastically
>He throws a weak punch
>Sidestep it
>Patricia walks by
>"DALAN!"
>She rolls into him
>He gets very angry
>Screeches
>Pushes her over
>She rolls back down the hallway
>He turns to me
>Tells me to go fuck myself
>Tell him thats not a nice way to treat a wingman
>He slowly puts the pieces together
>>
>>707371255
Checked
>>
>>707371313
Sceencap, pronto
>>
Dylan part 6 cont.
>"IT WAS YOU"
>i kek'd
>He charges
>Sidestep
>He doesnt stop
>Hits a wall
>Headfirst
>Hes bleeding
>Doesnt give up
>Gotta give credit where it's due
>Little guy has a fighting spirit
>He swings
>Misses
>Doesnt notice the computer cart rounded the corner
>Neither did the one pushing it
>Just some nigger talking on her phone
>Ran him the fuck over with it
>I kek again
>He is so mad he's crying
>He gets up and tackles me to the ground
>Threatens me with my life
>I kek right in his face
>Punchs my balls
>Grabs my crotch and twists
>Feeling sick
>Full of rage
>He leaves victorious
>For now...
Continue?
>>
>>707371398
Screencap this
Continute, PLEASE
>>
Keep going
>>
Bump
>>
File: 1476134446772.jpg (40 KB, 565x600) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Can I appear in the screen cap?
>>
>>707371497
Im tryin
Not prewritten
Didnt now it would be so popular :/
>>
>>707371398
progress so far.
once story is over reactions will be put in.
>>
>>707371593
NO!
>>
>>707371593
No
>>
>>707371645
That is for ants.
Make it bigger!
>>
>>707371641
Hurry up man cmon don't type to us type about dylan
>>
>>707371733
Zoom in faggot
>>
>>707371733
Checked
>>
>>707371733
its zoomed out retard
>>
>>707371588
Checked
>>
Let me be screencapped if dubs
>>
Up close and personal for you faggots.
>>
Why didn't you prewrite this OP
>>
>>707372025
>>
>>707371789
>>707371645
>zoom in
>image is 368x671
Those words are blurry as fuck
>>
>>707372067
>>
>>707371593
You're in the top three cock garglers compilation. Just gotta wait for nr 2 and 3, otherwise the title makes no sense.
>>
Hurry up OP
>>
>>707372067
There I am!
I'm Stalin
>>
>>707372027
In his defense, what kind of faggot prewrites shit for 4chan. He's already creating tomorrows copy pasta anyway, no need to make it appear like pasta already today.
>>
>>707372267
Same numbers boi
>>
>>707372322
Tru but cmon I don't want to wait
>>
>>707372327
Ah.
Thanks for pointing that out
>>
More progress. Just waiting on OP.
>>
>>707372322
Checked
>>
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Keep going OP!
>>
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4chan10.gif
2 MB, 321x223
>>
>>707372466
Checked
>>
You delivered before OP you can do it again
>>
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Retard stories?

>Be me, 11, 5th Class (7th Grade for all you Muricafags, Eirefag here)
>Reading out of Geography book in class about rivers in Africa
>Eoin the Eejet
>Eoin the Eejet is known for going full retard, and nobody knows to this day if he did it purposely or not
>'Eoin, can you read the document on the River Niger?'
>'k miss'.
>Struggles to pronounce one word
>'The River N-.....n-...niiii-.....',
>'....Nigger is a very-',
>Class erupted with laughter and gasps
>Teacher grabs Eoin the Eejet by the ear and roars at him for his profanity
>Eoin the Eejet pulls himself back off of her grip and falls onto a shelf full of plates, jars and art supplies
>EVERYTHING on that shelf came down like an earthquake in Chile
>one plate full of spaghetti
>Lands on top of her head
>Eoin the Eejet still on the floor after whamming himself so hard on the shelf
>Decide to pick Eoin the Eejet up off the ground because I was sat beside him
>Lift him to his feet before the teacher can obtain her soul again
>Come to realisation that Eoin the Eejet shat rocks in his pants
>'Ugh! Eoin, you fuckin' eejet!'
>Teacher then grabs my ear
>Suspended for a week because of swearing
>Eoin the Eejet got into no trouble
>Eoin the Eejet now a successful lawyer on all the dosh possible
>my fucking face when Eoin the Eejet's future actually turned out better than mine
>>
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>>707363715
>>
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>mfw OP delivers
>>
HURRY UP NIGGA
>>
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>mfw OP delivers
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan: 7
>Very pissed
>So are my nuts
>Go to school
>Today is the day that ginger freak pays
>Rummage around in his bag
>Sure enough the fag till has the phone
>Type in the password(Fag)
>Decide to do what ive done before
>But worse
>Get another sound file ready to blow
>What kind?
>Gay porn of course!
>Ready the device and plant it
>Computer class
>It goes off
>Much louder than expected
>Heres how it went
>Teacher: Alright kids today we are going to Everf-
>Dylans phone:*grunting*,*panting**slapping* OOOOOOOHH YEAH! GIVE IT TO ME! MAKE ME YOUR BITCH!
>His face goes red
>He does the same song and dance again..
>Till he realizes the culprit
>Me
>He charges
Will continue in the next. You guys are vicious.
>>
>>707372901
Thanks OP.
And btw, here's what the entire thing looks right now.
>>
>>707372865
We are going to FLAVORTOWN TONIGHT /b/OYS!>>707372901
>>
THE NEXT WHAT OP???
>>
>>707373107
Year
>>
>>707372790
is that eoin the eejet in pic
>>
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>When OP delivers
>>
>>707372790
So, either the successful lawyer is the retard of the story.. or.. someone else is?
>>
>>707372865
congrats, ur in.
>>
>>707365885
Are you fucking retarded?
>>
>>707372901
spoiler:
everyone walk the dinosaur
>>
>>707373262
ofc teacher m8
>>
>>707373009
I can't zoom much and its blurred
>>
>>707373262
Probably the lawyer
>>
>>707373379
Thank
>>
>>707367055
I'm OP's friend. Here is my story.
> I transfer to a new school
> I meet OP
> He punches me in the face
> We become friends
> I'm in class and I notice a ginger with greasy hair
> He is talking to himself
> I ask OP if he knew the kid
> He did
> The kid's name was Dylan
> I avoid him
> Time goes by
> Dylan approaches me in PE
> Ask for my name
> I ignore him
> He becomes irate and begins screaming at me
> I regret ignoring him
> He asks again
> I fucking tell
> He looks me over
> Asks me if I like one of our teachers
> I tell him no
> He doesn't believe me
> ohshit.jpg
> He grabs me by the throat and threatens me
> He says that he is going to make a baby with that teacher
>>
>>707373262
OP here
Retarded because this kid was a massive fucking retard in class from what I remember, yet he's a lawyer now
>>
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>>707372901
>>
>>707373555
cont.
> Says if I get in the way he'll kill me
> wtf.jpg
> I reassure him that I don't like the teacher after decking him in the face for chocking me
> We begin running our mile
> He follows me
> Follows me very closely
> He is talking to himself the whole time
> He them whispers to me
> I'm scared of what he may say
> He ask for me to help him make a baby with his teacher
> I say no and speed up
> He says I have to and chases after me
> I reach mach 10 speed
> He is still very close behind
> I tell him to go away
> He screams and flings himself on me
> I'm thrown into a wall with him on top of me
> He begins bashing my head into the wall
> He is screaming that I have to help him make a baby
> I get an idea
> I roll over
> I'm on top of him now
> He struggles, but I'm not letting this faggot go anywhere till he is calm
> I feel wetness spread over me
> He... He pissed on me
> HE FUCKING PISSED ON ME
> I tell him to meet me in the teacher's room at lunch
>>
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>>707373426
Well, I am new to this kind of shit, so someone might need to help me out with this.

>inb4 called a fucking retard
>>
>>707373711
cont.
> I promise to help him
> He calms down and the screaming subsides
> I let him up and we each go to a different bathroom
> I was cleaning his piss off of me
> No clue what he was doing
> Was I going to meet him at lunch?
> Hell no
> Hours pass
> It's lunch time
> Nacho Day
> The GODS HAVE BLESSED THIS SCHOOL!
> OP and I are talking, munching our nachos when screaming begins to fill the lunchroom
> Our teacher runs in, bloodied, and crying
> Her clothes are torn
> She runs to a male teacher and begs for help, her pants torn and exposing her ass
> SCREECHING!
> OH GOD
> Dylan charges in
> He grabs the teacher by her ponytail and brings her to the floor
> His... his dick is out
> ohgodno.jpg
>>
Dylan 7 cont.
>We begin battle
>He swipes at me with a convenient ruler
>I grab it from his hands
>He grabs my chair and swings
>Connects with my shoulder
>kthen.png
>The pain is great but my hatred is greater
>So is his strength
>He picks up a computer monitor
>Not a new age one.
>An old fat one
>Sweet
>Fucking
>Jesus
>He throws it
>Barely misses my head
>Decide to end this
>Grab keyboard and mouse
>Run right at him
>Hit in the head with keyboard
>He staggers
>Smack him with mouse
>Start choking him with cord
>All while gay porn is playing
>School officer rushes in
>Tases us both
>Wat
>Both convulsing
>Both get suspended
>Why?
>Misuse of school property
>I kek'd
Moar?
>>
>>707373829
please
>>
>>707373758
Use photoshop
>>
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>>707373813
cont.
> He begins thrusting wildly
> Everyone is screaming
> People are crying
> The male teacher rips Dylan form the teacher on the ground
> Dylan FUCKING karate chops the teacher in the throat
> The teacher goes down and is rendered useless
> Dylan starts helicoptering with his dick as he approaches the female teacher
> Right as he reaches her, a football player tackles Dylan
> The football player and one of his friends hold Dylan down
> Dylan is screaming louder than ever
> He is pissing again
> The piss is pooling
> One of the football players lets go, angry that his jacket is now covered in retard pee
>Dylan takes his opportunity
He throws the guy off and brakes for the door
> As he runs, he strips completely
> He runs out of sight
> whatthefuck.jpg
> OP and I run out of the cafeteria
> Principle comes on Speaker
> demands that everyone goes to the auditorium
> We all go
> Principle announces that school is closing early
> Doors open
> Screeching
> Campus police have Dylan restrained
> He is still nude
> They rush him through the building into the nearby parking lot
> As they pass OP and I, Dylan sees us
> He screams I was supposed to help him
> Ignore him
> I'm not getting dragged through the mud for this shit
> They take him away
> The teacher never came back to school
> The football players were suspended for assaulting a retard
> Dylan came back to school after a month
> His one punishment?
> He couldn't go on the class field trip to Jelly Stone Park
> mfw
> mfw I caused a teacher to be sexually assaulted.
>>
Also. The guy that says he knows me. Actually does! His story is completely true. And fucked up! Its his story with dylan. A spin off if you will! Make sure to include him in screencap!
>>
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>>707373829
This is why gingers have no soul
>>
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>>707373829
>All while gay porn is playing
+10 keks for you Anon
>>
>>707373968
k.
>>
>>707372790
uhhh what?

Where are you from?

What third world lingo is that shit?
>>
>>707373829
Don't ask if we want more OP just give us moar
>>
hello rebbit. u fags
>>
Hows our screencap coming?
>>
>>707374158
Or just do something and don't shrink the picture
>>
>>707374273
About 7
>>
Make sure you include the spinoff my friend added into the screencap
>>
>>707373987
he tried to rape a teacher and he's just excused and allowed to come back? yeah fucking right
>>
>>707363995
This kinda vag isn't real life guys
Although I wish it was
>>
>>707372790
>>EVERYTHING on that shelf came down like an earthquake in Chile
you piece of shit kek
>>
>>707374408
He actually did. I shit you not. The reason? It wasnt his fault! Cuz hes a retard!
>>
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>>707374273
Great
>>
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>>707372901
>>
>>707367660
Fakeee where did Dylan get a pencil to stab you when he needed one from you.. Anyways still reading continue on
>>
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>>707374592
>chink got her arm broken
Fucking lost it
>>
>>707374172
Says where in first line of greentext.
>>
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>>707369540
Fucking keking
>>
>>707372790
It is spelled eejit not eejet you fucking eejit
>>
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>>707374579
IF that really happened, and that is a damn big if, and he is legally mentally handicapped, I could believe he would not face legal repercussions, but clearly he's proves to be dangerous to his surroundings and would not be allowed to attend school without some sort of guardian, if at all. At best, anon is laying it on a bit thick.
>>
My tard story:
(donno if anybody's gonna read this, but it's kinda a funny story)
>Be me 15
>This tard gets a crush on my childhood friends (we can call her Ann)
>Can't blame him, blue eyes with black hair, really pretty
>Starts message her everyday
>Like 10 messages every 15 minutes
>Denkochan(´・ω・`).jpg
>She blocks him after he becomes to much
>He starts to message her, through her closest friends
>Finds her on EVERY social media (twitter, wattpad, etc.)
>He even goes to her freaking house
>We run after him and he leaves after 2 hours
>She blocks him
>She tells the teacher and they have a talk with him
>Tard is crying
>Starts to message me
>Asking me what I'm doing
>"Just putting on makeup"
>Him: "Why?"
>Me: "Going to a party"
>Him: "With who?"
>Me: "Oh, with Ann and a couple of the guys from our class"
>Him: "Where and with who?"
>Me: You're not invited
>Him: I just wanna know. Can you take a picture of the party?
>Me: No
>>
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>mfw OP is NOT a faggot
>>
>>707374658
Come on anon, pay attention. He gave him a vanishing ink one, then switched it out. Are you weak trolling, or is your reading comprehension really this impaired? Are you Dylan? Is this OP's high school reunion?
>>
>>707375423
Continue fam
>>
>>707375433
Can someone add that to screencap?
>>
>>707375533
Double dubs checked
>>
This thread will hit bump limit in ~ 15 minutes
>>
The Chronicles of Dylan part 8: Beating off at lunch
>Finally back after my exile
>Very pissed
>We are not allowed near eachother
>Perfect
>Eating in cafeteria
>My friend(The other guy writing about dylan in this thread)comes and sits with me
>We shoot the shit
>Thats when we hear the screaming
> the nigger janitor is running into the room >Dylan is ass naked again.
>I know you may find it hard to believe, but in his hand..
>Was his dick
>Stroking it rapidly
>Pelvis out
>Chasing the janitor
>Not the first time he was attempting sexual assault
>Except this time it wasnt caused by my friend
>His Tard guard runs in
>He had to legally have one due to not being safe on his own
>Bullshit
>She is a fat nigger and aint fast enough for him
>We now have a wild dylan running around and jerking it
>This is the reason my principle had to resign
>He was forced to do so due to this incident
>Heres why
>He didnt finish on the terrified janitor
>He finished on my friend and I
>What
>The
>Fuck
>Punch him in his dick and retch
This is only the begining my friends
>>
Start a new thread and redirect
>>
>>707375423
Are you a femanon or a tranny?
>>
Ill try to
>>
>>707375776
Wait, is this kid a lawyer now??
>>
Im a man sadly. ALSO Please include my friends story in the screencap. I will reply to em here to make it easy
>>
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>>707375776
Off by one
But
That was hilarious to say the least
>>
>>707375423
>After a few days he send me a text again
>Him: Hey, what are you doing?
>Me: I'm with Ann at Lena's place
>Him: Tell Lena to send a picture of you three
>Me: Ew no.
>Him: Come to schools football field.
>Then he just send some pictures of him tanning and 2 videos of him singing.
>Why?

>Next day he ask what I'm doing
>Tell him I'm going to a party
>Tard ask where it is
>Tell the adress
>He goes there and knocks on the house
>There was no party
>>
>>707375776
>>707373987

/b/ros. just curious. You guys have a picture of Dylan?

I think these fucking awesome stories will be even more awesome if we can put a face to the name naw mean?

either way, keep going. this is is gold af.
>>
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DAmn, creating this thing is too powerful for 4chan to handle, i think. Sorry people, but I resign from this job. Let some other cunt do it. I'll just watch the show.

*sad face*
>>
>>707376079
femanon (´・ω・`)
>>
>>707376395
Tits with timestamp or gtfo
>>
>>707373555
>>707373711
>>707373813
>>707373987
>>
>>707376395
You know the rules then. Do it, or your fake.
>>
>>707376510
Put these in screencap as well they become important soon
>>
>>707376395
You know the drill...
>>
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>>707376395
Tits or Gtfo is for camwhores who should be on /soc/, you faggots. Now stop derailing.
>>
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>>707375776
Updated.

>>707375039
>>707374749
>>707374627
>>707376304
Will add you guys as end faggots.
>>
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>>707362387
Oh fuck you anon these stories are copied from these(pic related):
>>
>>707370666
>>
>>707376888
>>
>>707376888
Checked
>>
>>707376797
Thank
>>
>>707376888
Nice trips m888
>>
I would never try to copy neal. These are real.Cant find my yearbook
>>
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>>707376888
>>
Is there any more?
>>
How am I supposed to link to a new thread?
We need to keep it going! As well as Dylans face reveal!
>>
>>707377088
Checked and I don't think so
>>
Moar
>>
GOD TIER THREAD JESUS SCREENCAP.
>>
>>707377088
There will be! Gotta make a new thread before janitors destroy my thread
>>
Here my friend is about to post dylans picture. Luckily he has a yearbook! Ill point it out when its posted
Thread replies: 306
Thread images: 80


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