>You are walking across your local beach
>you accidentally kick something while enjoying your views
>you look down, a shiny, golden lamp is lightly buried beneath the sand
>you pick it up, dust off the sand
>as you do so, a genie pops out!
>anon, for freeing me I grant you 3 wishes!
>I cannot grant life, I cannot kill
>you can't wish for more wishes
What are your wishes /b/?
First, I wish to become an immortal being who is invisible and incapable of interacting with anything, but can travel to any point in space or time, and "possess" any being and control them at will. Second, I would wish for an unstoppable pandemic to wipe out every human on the earth. Then I would wish for an unlimited supply of any food I wanted.
remove all toxic substances and poisons from oceans land and air.
give every human being on the planet a zero point module for unlimited power generation for every human being.
grant me the ability to teleport at will to any destination in the universe with no limits on what i can take with me, have full control as to who and what i want to teleport, at no cost to any of my own energy, life, or knowledge
I wish the Genie would rub my lamp
Then we'll see what's what.
1. A 7 inch pecker.
2. A credit card with an infinite amount of money that would always return to my pocket.
3. The ability to enter video games at will and play them, kind of like SWord Art Online
1: I wish that all three of these wishes come out exactly the way I intend, with no side effects or consequences that I don't want.
2: I wish that none of these wishes can come undone by any force, be it magical or scientific.
3: I wish that I can give myself any superpower or ability that I want for as long as I want to have it.
Think about it and you'll see how perfect this plan is.
>make my mom come back to life
I DIDNT ASK FOR THESE FEELS
Think about it though. Infinite money? I could feed the world. Help countries out in economic debt. Buy the newest Lamborghini, and a mansion to impress the girl of my dreams. Be a badass inside a video game. Not to mention having a seven inch dick wouldn't be bad.
Bruh, those sweet trips don't forgive the fact that you assume you will somehow trick a fucking djinn.
>The knowledge of all my HSC subjects to give me a 99 ATAR
>The most likeable personality on Earth, social chameleon basically (for youtubez channel and pussy)
>Give me a solid build and 6 feet of height
>My first wish
>Immortal AND invisible AND incapable of interacting with anything AND can travel to any point in space or time AND possess any being
Anon, you're a fucking idiot, whoever the fuck taught you how to wish should be shot.
with you having infinite money, and spending it willy nilly, wouldn't that devalue money until it was worthless? crashing the worlds economies more than they already are, and causing global economic destruction?
I wish that no food can be grown in the continent of Europe for the next 10 years.
I wish that no food can be delivered to the continent of Europe for the next 10 years.
I wish that no person can leave the continent of Europe for the next 10 years.
1) I want $30 billion dollars that no one will question or tax
2) I want to live a disease-free life
3) I want the ability to turn invisible and revert at the snap of my fingers
1) Teleport me, my family and friends and all non stupid, Niggers, Jews, Christians, Muslin and halfbreeds to another planet exactly like Eath.
2) Make the natural resourses near infinite in this new planet.
3) Give to me and people i chose all the knowledge to make possibile build anything who has been written in any sci-fi and scientific text.
- reset financial system, no more debt
- erase world borders
- everyone in the world gains absolute empathy. every person in the world feels every joy, pain and sorrow of every other living thing and understands the reasons behind others' emotions
just solved world peace niggaz
O Genie, let me be stupidly happy no matter what happens
Let my wife be stupidly happy, no matter what happens.
Let my son be stupidly happy, no matter what happens.
That should about cover it, the rest of all y'all are on your own.
buy a huge mansion, buy a lambo, ferrari, bugatti, unlimited anything, pussy, but still be alone because youre spending all your money on yourself and not furthering the human race and directing it to where it needs to be.
>Take unneccesary greed out of our mankind's capacity
>make very person incredibly intelligent and emotionally stable, with an appreciation for curiosity and advancement
>fix all areas of the planet that we can afford to return to a more natural state.
Humans can finally evolve, and all of us are actually worth something for once. The planet stops dying.
Can't grant life, can't kill and no extra wishes?
1. Wish for every human to instantly become sterile
2. Wish for all forms of plants to be moved to mars.
3. Wish for a TV with signal strong enough to watch humanity tear itself apart
Yes, that way I can die immediately before souring my soul. Then Heaven shall be granted
Shapeshifting fixes any issues you might have with your body, and you can be whoever or whatever you want.
Chronomancy fixes the issue of aging, so you only age if you want to. And it fixes all money issues, as you can learn what opportunities to take, then rewind your own timeline and take them. Or just cheat the lottery like a jerk.
Invincibility stops you from being stabbed, shot, poisoned, or killed in any way. And if you finally want to die, chronomancy. Age yourself and you can die of old age once the living forever thing gets old.
It fixes the issues most people have with immortality, seeing and watching everyone you know and love die, and living on without them. And as a chronomancer, you have the power to extend their lives too.
With that combo, you can do whatever you want, be whoever you want, and do it all whenever you want. Its perfect.
no way. if every person on the planet subjectively felt the pain their actions caused they would cease over time.
some people would probably die before the planet found an equilibrium, but it would work out in the long run.
also land ownership is abolished when borders reset
Sup faggots and double niggers?
smart guy. i give you credit for thought
>implying violence isnt an act of pain and confusion
>implying people spontaneously feeling the pain and anguish of all humanity woud go completely insane
>implying you wouldnt cause the collapse of the worlds economy
>implying country borders arent important facets of identity and social cohesion
mcfucking kill yourself my man
I wish that I can wish for more wishes.
>9999999^(99999) more magic lamp genies
>Fucking massive indestructible spaceship where i can store my shit
>teleport me into the spaceship without killing me/recreating a new version of me in the ship, has to *ME*
go fine ayylmao's and spread memes as a religion among less intelligent lifeforms.
We're already very close to having the technology to modify our genetic model, people porn with genetic modifications will be born withour our lifetime, making every person worth that, and eradicating unnecessary greed would allow us, as a species, to use advance as a whole, instead of selling genetic modification, which is going to happen instead.
My wishes are to create a platform in which we can advance.
1: all humans now and for ever in the future have the competence to live together peacefully
2: all humans now and forever in the future are gifted with the determination to create more advanced technology
3: all humans now and for the rest of time are competent enough not to destroy our species
Fucking hell. She hasn't replied to the message I sent over a week ago. We were close. I think she's just obsessed with WoW. I can't play the game. It's too much. Before that expansion came out we were hanging out all the time.
I wish she noticed that I'm not around.
>According to all known laws
>there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
>Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
>The bee, of course, flies anyway
>because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
I wish I could control time. That meaning being unaffected by time. I could move in frozen time, etc...
I wish I was the absolute perfect human being physically.
I wish I had $50,000,000,000 that is unquestioned.
>Location of the next lamp
>Be able to send a message back to my younger self, telling him everything that will happen and where another lamp is located if he ever was interested in grabbing it
I do. To think your indifference could overpower my hatred makes me hate you so much. What a stupid thing to say. It's like you have to one up everyone with your retarded feeling bullshit. Go shop at hot topic and shut up.
1) be given phenominal, cosmic power the likes of which could shape the universe and alter reality!
2) remove all currently active religions from humanity and history.
3) reset pollution 300 years.
my work here is done. Anything else I need, I covered in Rule 1. After all, I can reshape the universe as I see fit.
I replied with indifference.
She is. Before that expansion she was the perfect girl. I really struggle to find girls who I like. And I really really like her. I don't even want to search for another girl because it took me years to find this one.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
And I replied with hatred, faggot.
I got your joke, it was just retarded as fuck. Kill yourself slowly and painfully. Take a knife, and slowly push it into your throat. Twist it. Nice and slow. Sob with pain too. Thanks.
>immune to speeding tickets and other traffic laws (fuck speeding tickets)
>superpowers of: invisibility, modified immortality (I choose when I get to die), and teleportation
>$50,000,000,000 deposited into my bank account that can't be taken away by fag genie
1. A better brain. I always feel like crap with anxiety, depersonalization/derealization, lethargy, etc. I didn't used to be like this. I had a lot of energy and everything was easy. Basically just to feel the way I used to.
2. 36 million dollars or at least enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life.
3. A device that lets me teleport to anywhere and any time in the universe. When I teleport anywhere I cease to age until I come back.
add-on to the superpower list: time travel so I can go back in time a few moments to rub the genie bottle and get more wishes
(time travel is theorized to take you into another universe which is parallel thus I would be able to do this if that theory is fact)
>inb4 can't grant more wishes
You can tell the demographic of 4chan has changed over the years. Kids thinking they're special for calling other kids out for thinking they're special. Fucking degenz
Also, reported for underage.
First, I want something better than money. A fortress designed to sustain up to 100000 people, for an indefinite period of time, that is completely impenetrable and only accessible through a quantum gate of some kind so that this fortress exists only in a parallel universe. The upshot being that when Trump is elected I can just use my second wish to transport every female I desire to impregnate, along with sufficient males to ensure a healthy population, to said fortress slong with every piece of technology and sufficient food and water to live quite comfortably. My last wish is to be made invulnerable so nobody can injure or kill me as I rule this kingdom with an iron fist.
For my first wish, I wish I could acceptably interact with other people outside of my computer
Second, I wish my parents hadn't pushes me into foster homes the first six years of my life
Third, I wish she hadn't left me like she did...
>Omniscience, because we need it.
>Omnipotence, because it goes really well with the previous choice.
>Genie's eternal hapiness, because I don't need any other power than those two.
>wishing for an exact amount of money
You know that's how you can track where the djinn has been (Zimbabwe, Venezuela etc)- "I wish for $30 billion" and next thing you know hyperinflation, $30billion buys loaf of bread.
Money will always have some sort of worth, it may be worth a lot less but it would still be worth something, (everything has worth) and if he were to have an infinite amount it wouldn't matter how much he would need to buy something.
What if I like how the human race is progressing already, what if I like all the fucked up shot and all the ggod shit that's already coming from society. Sometimes you shouldn't overthink things
1. Can't kill eh? Ok...mutate the common cold virus so it sterilizes all non whites who catch it.
2. Make that cold virus have a 100% transmission rate.
3. I want a cup of coffee.
1. Perfect perpetual health/metabolism.
2. the skill to make magical artifacts ( ring of invisibility, ring of teleportation,etc.)
3. the ability to make and shape pocket dimensions (bag of holding, whole mansion inside a closet, etc.)
I would have my workshop in a pocket dimension where nobody could rob me, where I could make artifacts I could use, give to friends, or sell.
(rent a ring of invulnerability to Trump so he won't have to worry about being assassinated, have plenty of money and never have to have a real job again)
1) every time I go to buy something I have exactly the amount I need in my pocket
2) a life full of friends and family that surround me with love and good times
3) a world government that actually caters to the needs of the people, not the needs of the government (or a lack of gov., Where the people govern themselves)
money will become worthless if you put a lot into circulation eventually you'll buy shit for countries and like the old days (300+ yrs ago) objects > money which will make your infinite money worth shit
1. I wish every human on earth stopped being such cocks and realized that every other human being on the planet is equal to them and we should not be trying to kill each other over national boundaries, religion, and life choices (essentially world peace except obviously things like cheating would still happen and shit would happen I'm just trying to avoid wars not be a miracle worker for shitty family lives)
2. Every god damn person learned to grow their own god damned food without destroying the land like those dumb African niggers did
3. A credit card with infinite money that was undetectable until I needed to use it, in order to not crash the worlds economy when they see someone literally has devalued US currency to nothing, and this money does not get taken from anywhere else, so to a certain extent I am flooding the market but fuck it right
>you are now kill
nice wishing friend
>wish for a world where peace is reality and people can support themselves
>get told to suck Kurt cobains dick
I can't heal the hurt in you kiddo, but I'm sure your 14 year old gf kissing another boy isn't the end of the world
Just wish for money and you could pretty much have all that, cept everyone else having 6 inchers. But the women won't care about everyone else when you're rich. Way to be extremely insecure about yourself though
I wish to become invulnerable to damage caused by everything and anyone but myself.
I wish to be able to transform my appearance limitlessly and instantly.
I wish to not be affected by the laws made by people.
That wasn't my post but ok. And no I would much rather have a bigger dick than anyone on the planet than to just be "rich". Being rich is cool and you can get girls, but if they find some other guy with a 8 inch cock, and yours is 5, she gonna fuck him no matter how much money u got.
I'd like the ability to go to any point in time that i want (past, present or future) as often as I want, and interact with people without any repercussions.
Immortality with the caveat that I can kill myself if I choose.
The ability to become an expert in anything, the way they do in the matrix
I write everything i want on a piece of paper, taking my time with it. Wording it as if I already HAVE everything. Like.
I have the powers of superman.
I have the ability to heal anyone of anything including deformities from birth.
I can grant anyone immortality until they want to die, including myself.
That kind of thing.
Wish #1) I wish everything on this paper were true.
Save the other wishes.
I want to try all of the world's dildos, have extra time for dragon dildo's.
Turn everyone into hot furries with extra large cocks.
Everyone thoughts always lead and tempt them into wild orgies.
...time to have a go at my bf and his friends.
Wish for omnipotence.
Figure the rest out later.
1st wish: All species of parasitic worms no longer exist
2nd wish: Venus no longer suffers from runaway greenhouse effect and has a balmy climate with a large planetary ocean and many scattered islands
3rd wish: Trump is suddenly physically transformed into pic related. He still acts and speaks exactly the same, but this will turn the tide for BLM and SJW supporters to actually vote for him
I don't mind a racist nigger as long as he knows his proper place in society