Can we get a feels thread 4chan... Buddy passed away not too long ago. Feeling really down now. was only 19. Just started his fucking life. Why
Probably because his heart stopped beating and then his cells started starving for oxygen and energy leading to irreparable organ damage and the cessation of all biological function and brain activity.
>>707140029
Award goes to captain fuckin obvious.
>>707140179
Thank you, thank you. I could not have done it without my supporting cast. Stating the obvious to captain obvious. And dime-a-dozen feels generic feels thread starter number 56,433. It really was a team effort.
Wanted to post this in another thread, but 404
>be me 10 years old
>parents break up
>fight over custody, they fight like kids over everything in court, the whole deal
>only persons to give me stability and love were grandparents
>grandpa was the only one who ever said that he's proud of me
>hard worker, worked 45 years for Ford before retiring. Nicest and sweetest man I've ever met
>marriage of my grandparents was a forced one from the 50s to begin with and now that grandpa was home all the time something happened and my grandmother left him
>now he is all alone in the house
>none of his 3 sons ever visited him
>one day I tell him, that I just bought my first electric shaver
>he started crying because he was proud
>one day I tell him I finished my apprenticeship
>we both start crying and we end up talking until the wee hours of the morning
>as I get busier with my job I visit less. From twice a week to once a week, from that to once every 14 days
>grandpa was lonely so he often drove his old Ford Fiesta from germany to turkey, his birthplace
>On his way back to turkey last year mid June he apparently fell asleep
>he hit an 12t truck frontally going 100kp/h in some bulgarian village
>get a call from uncle saying we have to go and bring him home
>we fly him to turkey to bury him after picking him up
>carrying his coffin to his grave was the hardest thing I had to do in my life
>get home, find his last will in some paper
>he wanted me to have his appartment, which I moved into a month later
>his appartment was adorned with all sorts of little things and trinkets. Pictures me and sister drew, old toys, tons of photos
>sifting trough some old documents I find letter handwritten by him
>letters to my grandmother saying that he misses her and that she was the best in his life
>several of those, some with wet smeared spots on the paper
>journal entries of how he misses his kids, misses me and how he sometimes feels his mind slipping
cont.
>>707140609
You would be a fantastic CEO. I'd work for you.
>>707139703
His life would've started earlier if our education system wasn't so dumb
>>707140609
Fag
>>707140663
>journals get darker and darker, he said that he now often forgets things and that he's afraid
>he was suffering from early stages of alzheimers
>journal says that he adorned the appartment with all these things to help him remember and because he misses us
>journal says how proud he is that I became an electrician like himself and he wondered if he did anything wrong because I visited him less
>"I don't want to forget the ones I love"
I often sit here alone wondering what kind of pain this wonderful man had to go trough all these years
I regret more than anything in my life that I didn't visit him often enough
Maybe he would still be here now, watching his other grandchildren attend school for the first time
He was like a father to me
I miss him so much
>>707141391
Are you hitting on me?
>>707141450
Duh
>>707141720
Haaawt.
>>707141421
Fuck man...
My grandma went through this.
Life gets fucking messy, watching someone decline into that is really, really rough
I'm not saying it's a good thing that he's dead... but living life without being able to remember is scary, confusing and sad for the person and all the family.
Theres no way to soften the blow, nothing will make it better. His last days being sad makes it that much harder to swallow
But in a certain way, maybe it happened at good time
Love the memories of him and the man he was. Look up to him as the man you will become
>>707142483
thats what I thought as well
everyone keeps telling me that it wasnt our fault
it was an accident
but maybe if we had done things different then he'd still be here
maybe things played out differently
I dont know man
I just always have these dreams of just him sitting in the living room on his favorite spot on the couch and I ask him where he was and he just smiles and says that it doesn't matter
then I wake up
its always the same
>>707143147
Loosing someone close is a rollercoaster. It will hit you in ways you never expected.
Not much to say, dreaming is your mind processing info
Exept when someone dies, your brain hasnt made the neural pathways to process things without that person being involved, like a factor to your equation is missing.
Your brain is holding on to the fragments of your thought processes that he still exists in.
It takes time... 3-4 month, but sometimes it will still hit you out of the blue for years after.
Death will make you think about life a lot
fucking hell... wasted my Saturday evening alone drinking.
>>707139703
I'm sorry man. That sucks. Stuff just happens dude, just accept that nothing can be done now but honor his memory if you want
my
hurt
really
Badly
>>707145621
>>707145670
>>707145722
>>707145769
>>707145769
i hate tumblr but damn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0tbA9ksWcM
this video is soul wrecking
if you know the meaning of it it hurts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pltgaBtcPHg
>father gets sent to prison
>i testified against him
>my last words to him where "i hope you fucking die in there"
He fucking died in there.
He sent me letters almost every week apologizing for not being the father he should have
He said his only desire was to do a road trip we used to do often one more time with me
I didn't cry when i found out he died
I was surrounded by people who wanted me to hate him.
He was a child molester. I get that.
Let me mourn my fucking father
Dont fucking say "good" right beside me when i find out
My sister has every reason to hate him
But to me he was just an cruel asshole, but he was still my father
>>707146577
death is the great equalizer
it shows how you truly feel about a person
>>707146486
Tool can be some heavy shit. Good stuff anon
porsche story
>>707147113
Yeah... or how i don't know.
I don't let stigma rule my feelings. I know it's easy to hate a pedophile
What was the hardest thing was comforting my mother, who had had everything torn away from her
Her freinds treated her like she had the plague
Her job fired her
Her family basically blamed her
She has nobody exept me and her sister. My father destroyed her life even though nobody on this planet worked harder for evereyone in the family.
Fuck people who treat the family members of a bad person like they are cursed.
>>707141421
>>707144503
same anon, dont feel bad, we were drinking alone, together!
>>707145621
>>707145670
>>707145722
>>707145769
Fuck, man... Came here to troll or some shit... Now here you are. You have no idea how close to home that hit. Or really how true it is. Had my younger brother commit suicide. Was a few years back, when I was 18, but still hurts like it was yesterday. I went into the woods with my parents at night to look for him... Found him dead... Nobody could go back to the house for a while... Even though it was dark and winter time... It was a struggle to even walk anymore... After a long while, we got to the house and informed the rest of the family... We hardly ate anything for weeks... Nobody could sleep... All we could see were the sirens of the police and ambulance... Not much was said in those weeks... Teachers from school came to comfort us... Nothing worked... People had to shop for us... We didn't want to go out into public... Every night, I could hear my parents in their room crying... I couldn't keep myself from crawling in a dark corner and crying myself... Only reason I went to school after that was just to be there and not nowhere... He even had a crush at school... both ways, too. This girl would follow him around every day and talk to him, just to try to brighten his day... But no, he did it because he was rejected by some other girl... I still have a hard time in dark places, because all I see is him... Just laying there, motionless...
>>707148842
my feels they hurt
>>707148842
Shit...
I can't imagine. Stay strong anon
>>707149161
>>707149206
To top it all off, my gf of 3 years broke up with me not even a month after. Because she no longer understood me, I guess... some of the shit she said to me was downright cruel... Too bad she had to be a fucking cunt. Have been staying strong though... Strong enough to stay alive... Hard to feel anymore, but some shit just hits hard...
I wish I knew how to be happy.
I wish I could look at something good that happens to me and know how to be pleased. Instead I make hundreds of reasons why it's actually bad, or I convince myself I didn't do anything worth rewarding.
Last week I got a bonus at work for the long hours I put in and work I turned over, and a call from my boss' boss praising me. The thing is I'm always, ALWAYS "sure" I'm on the edge of being fired. The call about the bonus during off hours? I was sure I was being fired.
The thing is I feel my work quality is shit, my deadlines are artificially ballooned by procrastination (and I always push them), and my attitude has been vaguely toxic because I'm miserable and hate myself and it's hard to contain my loathing. I go to work, say some dumb shit, barely do anything, then come home and feel awful about how awful I am.
I don't know. I'm just so tired of hating myself and looking at myself and finding no value. Even now I hear myself saying it's because I have none, so obviously I won't find any.
>>707141421
Man sorry to hear that /b/rother
Just remember he loved you and I believe he still knew that you loved him. If no one else. You just gotta cherish the good times because as the living, that's all we have to hold onto. Just the good times man. Just the good times.
checkem
>>707147299
Bruh
>>707141421
i'll stop samefagging but here's a story that means nothing:
>6th grade
>bullied by 'friends'
>Cat we had was older than I was
>Chubby mix of breeds, looked like a maincoon
>Pissy
>Sister (still) has a scar on her leg from him
>Always watched me and my dad, like he was keeping us safe
>He turned 16 or 17
>Something wrong
>Losing weight, fast
>Turns out he has FIP
>Limps around, probably arthritis, too.
>Take him to the vet, get's really expensive shots
>Virtually go into bankruptcy, for this fucking cat
>Mobility gets lowe and lower
>Starts to stay in the same room as the food and water
>Sits by the water bowl, hardly eating
>1/4 of his normal weight now
>skin and bones
>Doesn't move at all now
>We try to feed him, can't eat
>dad makes appointment to have him put down next day
>Me, being a 6th grader keeps putting food in front of him to try to get him to eat
>Everytime i do he meows at me, he knows
>he knows I want him to stay
cont
>>707150207
I played video games virtually every day, all day.
>get home from school, no video games
>lay next to cat
>purrs hardest he's ever purred.
>sleep with cat all afternoon
>dad wakes me up, 8, maybe 10
>final goodbye to cat
this cat meant everything to me
>dad won't let me go with him
>pray- rather- yell at god
>why
>this is my cat he's my best friend you can't do this
>don't sleep
>oversleep and miss the bus for school
>parents let me stay home
he died in happiness
>school next day
>"anon why'd you miss"
>"cat died"
>dude it's just a cat
:(
>>707150207
>>707150317
I read anon. Sucks. :(
I don't know how they planned to put your cat down, and likely your dad didn't exactly, which is why you weren't allowed in, I'm sure.
It's not the same but when I was a kid I raised rats. I loved them. Full distinguishable personalities, but short lives.
I took one into the vet when I was around 9-10 years old to be put down. Cancer. I walked into the room myself, as it was mine and I would have nothing else.
They didn't use the tiny insulin needles I read about online. I wasn't prepared, it was very painful and scary for my rat until the end. Due to how they did it, I couldn't even hold her.
I stopped raising pets after that.
They may have wanted to spare you, in case it was actually bad.
>>707149962
Can relate. It's hard to feel happiness anymore. I just hide my emotions... It's easier that way.
>>707139703
thats tough man. I'm sorry it happened. I lost a buddy when we were still in high school. Accidental, goofing around with a gun. It'll get better, hell since then I've lost other family and friends, my pops for one, others, its a bitch. Eventually you'll be like "fuck, ANOTHER funeral?!" Shit I think I went to at least 6 or 7 before I graduated high school. It sucks man, you just make it by day by day. You get on without them. Its the only way it can be man, everybody goes through it, who and when is just shit luck. There will never be an "Ideal" time for that person to go, and one of these days you'll be the reason everyones gotta take a day and watch your ass get buried. Have a cry, have a beer, get on with it, and wait for the next one. Itll be alright man.
it's been about 12 years since i had any friends. like actual friends that you talk with and go do stuff with. not the nameless faceless strings of text on a internet board
>>707152658
you wanna be friends anon? Im practically a normie
What is a good person? My co-workers and acquaintances (friends?) say I'm a good person. I bend over backwards to be helpful, to be a good host, to always account for everyone's feelings.
Most of that is programmed into me by my parents. One is a doormat and another an insufferable asshole who always had to have their way. So I was taught early to jump up and do X Y and Z at the expensive of your own happiness, work load, whatever, because someone more important than you needs it done. My purpose in life has been to be patient, quiet, and serve whoever speaks up.
But most of the time I don't actually give a shit and actively hate the majority of people. Who I am, my desires, or who I feel I am, don't really factor into all that.
So what do I feel I am? I dunno. I spend my free time jerking off on 4chan, enjoying shit many people find awful or abhorrent, so I can't even talk casually about my free time and what I do, nor will I ever be able to share my feelings with anyone.
Painful is the word I would use to describe me. Hopeless and pointless also fit.
>>707152897
Not that guy but do you have a steam? We could just text chat once in a while
>come here to learn
>subconsciously came here to cry
>i did not learn.
>but dear god
>i cried.
>>707153683
yeah man i got a steam, no phone though
>>707154181
Add me
/id/mrdaddyfister
>>707154358
>mrdaddyfister
mrpunchfister?
Am i being trolled?
>>707140663
i consider myself so lucky for this
>be me
>8
>most naive kid in the world
>goes to grandmas house for a week
>grandpa gets sick because of liver problems from drinking
>hellbeok.jpg
>3 days later dies
>we all start to cry but then grandma foes to hospital
>ohfuqfuqfuq.gif
>dies 2 days later
>she wasnt sick till grandpa was
>mfw she could live without him
>mfw when he couldnt live without her
>mfw when they died 2 weeks before my birthday
cont?
i had 3 very close people die in 1 week
i keep crying in my sleep
first week of setember was when they died
>>707154545
It's hard to tell sometimes.
>>707145769
Fucking bullshit , you fags think people will let this affect their whole lives, friends too ? Nope . The thought of you will fade gradually and you'll but all forgotten within the next 2 years , maybe a vigil would be set up , but they won't mourn daily , human life is worthless and always ends in one thing . Death .
>>707152658
I feel you anon. I'm 29 and my last real friend was probably around 12-13 years old.
I know people from work and I know some of their friends, but I get nothing I don't put in. If I want to try reaching out, to hang out, it's like pulling teeth. No one volunteers to hang out with me, and as much as I feel or allowed myself to feel that I get along with my coworkers, I only need to remind myself by looking at my call / message log.
The same job for 4 years, the same people, and 9 out of 10 messages are outgoing. The vast majority remaining are work related, then there are a couple with me being CC'd in a group list. 5 direct messages from the closest people I would consider my friends in 4 years.
I guess that's more interaction than a lot of people have, so I should shut the fuck up and appreciate it. It hurts to speak to someone during the day, knowing they have no desire to be around me at any other time.
not that I blame them
fuckit, I've samefagged a lot tonight. I'm getting high
>>707154545
That's me my id is just mrdaddyfister
>>707154833 cont
>my great grandpa died from a heart attack
he was my great grandmas 4th husband
he tought how to play chess
>goes to school, was gone a week to greif
>walks in says nothing
>has a bunch of kids saying there jealous tht i was off
>keep bugging me
>told them my grandpa died
worst year of my life
>>707155031
Kill yourself.
>>707145621
>>707145670
just for the family part
>>707155084
I know what you mean bro. I used to be social and friendly. After graduation. My buddies went and did their thing. Never came back. And I became more and more secluded. All I do now is go to work then go home. I have a wife and 2 kids. That is all the human interaction I really do. I work night shift. So there is no one here to deal with or talk to. I never thought I would miss people and a social setting. But now I'm too awkward to even have normal conversations with others.
>>707155576
link?
>>707155576
If I wasn't so socially awkward and terrified people could tie my online life to my personal one, I would hit you up too.
I hope that previous anon does thou.
>>707155847
just search for mrdaddyfister on steam and look at the IDs
>>707155031
Calling BS on this. Little brother killed himself over 2 years ago. Not a single fucking person has forgotten he existed. I still have a necklace I wear in his memory. And so do most of the people that were close to him.
>>707156488
you bro cared so much about you that he killed himself. you're a weak delusional faggot celebrating a person who abandoned you. shame.
>>707156688
Oh, you know what's a shame? The sad waste of flesh that you are. Probably an attempted abortion tossed into a dumpster and saved by other living piles of rotting trash that seemed to comfort you because that's all you knew. Must be good at dodging if you so much as exist. Dodged a coat hanger for the first 9 months of your existence from that attempted abortion. Or your dumpster slut of a mother was terrible at aiming with that thing.
>>707157162
your bro is burning in hell right now little lady. keep wearing your shiny neck trinkets and worshiping the weak bitch who abandoned you. he loved you so much right? he cared soooo much? that's why he killed himself. where were you? why didn;t you stop him? worst brother ever! you're fucking disgusting. you let your brother kill himself and you wear some shiny shit on your chest to pretend you cared about him.
>>707149545
I have no right to speak on your pain like I know what you're going through, but I really do hope you find happiness and joy in your life fam. shits hard, and it sucks, but overall life is a gift and beautiful, don't let it burden you
>>707146241
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0GPQpAbTyw
This series, Alantutorial.
Poor, poor Alan...
>>707157491
spoken like a true cockroach.
I was in the room when my grandmother passed away.
I know that everybody has to die eventually, but I saw her fight so hard for her life, only to be let down by a bunch of doctors and nurses who couldn't care less. Her life wasn't easy, but she was the kind of person who gave and gave for her whole life. I'll never forget those last moments, or the example of the strength that she left behind.
>>707157755
stop crying faggot
>>707146577
>My sister has every reason to hate him
Was she molested? Of fucking course she hates him then, his big hairy man-fingers went up her underage virgin cooter.
Anyone willing to molest or fuck children is irredeemable. I don't care how good of a father he was, or how he sent you sympathy letters wanting to go on a roadtrip. He was probably hoping you'd find some way to get him out of the clink so he could fuck your sister again.
People like that aren't redeemable. They're manipulative. And since he got you to think again about whether or not he's good, he manipulated you. Putty, Anon. You're putty.
>>707156488
>>707157162
don't bite, you're a real nigga tbh
>>707156688
>>707157452
kill yourself, those who talk ill of the dead are doomed to hell btw, and if he's his younger brother nigga aint even held accountable lmao, he's in heaven unlike u
>>707157452
Hah! From copy and paste insults to trying to offend. Am not disappointed. Knew it was going to happen eventually. Don't care to answer all your questions. Don't give a fuck if he's "burning in hell" or whatever you religious fuck holes think happens to bad people. I cared about him, but could not stop it. Happened when I was in school. He got home before I did, so I couldn't stop it. Nobody could have. He wasn't the most caring person in the family, so I don't think he did care that much. He was always treated bad by our father. Just too bad things like you have to clog up the internet with trash like this trying to offend people with your nonsensical garbage. Not going to tell you to go die, because you're an interesting specimen. Attention whoring on a feels thread. Getting aaaallll the attention you want, you little failed abortion dumpster baby? Is it tickling your fancy? Have a nice dick you like to suck, too? Probably get slapped around and called a bitch all the time by an even bigger piece of living trash than you. Poor, poor rat food garbage.
>>707157980
haha nigger please. you'll be going to the ovens too. keep running your bubba lips boy. there's no fried chicken in hell! eat up. fucking coon.
>>707149962
Medication is always an option, try it man. Trust me that shit works.
>>707158093
your brother killed himself because you weren't there for him. it's your fault you peace of shit. you have no right to call him your brother.i know you feel guilty. shame. shame!
>>707158137
suggesting suicide as a form of medication is brilliant.
>>707157491
Funny, because I find myself to be the lowest of the low.
I try not to let shit burden me. Though I doubt I'll be happy again. Just gonna keep lining and see what happens. best I can do.
>>707150317
>Dude it's just a cat
>It's just a cat
>Just a cat
YEA HE WAS A CAT TONY YOU FAT CUNT
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THAT FUCKING WEINER DOG OF YOURS GOT DOG CANCER YOU CUCK
BET YOU'D BE SAD ENOUGH TO MISS SCHOOL TOO, UNLESS DADDY DECIDES TO HIDE THE BODY AND BUY YOU A REPLACEMENT DOG
BET YOU STILL THINK THEY GO TO A BARN TONY YOU FAT FUCK WELL THEY DON'T THEY GO INTO THE GROUND AND TURN INTO WORM FOOD
FUCK YOU TONY
>>707139703
>>707158257
Actually, no. I feel no guilt. Guilt is an unneeded emotion, so I choose to no longer feel it. I couldn't have been there for him. Like I said in an earlier post, it was because of a girl.
Your douchebaggery has been noted. Thanks much.
>>707158499
>it was because of a girl
of course! blame some bitch. it wasn't your role as a brother to be there for him. so wear some shiny fucking necklace and brag about him online. keep pretending you were there for him when he needed you most.
>>707155576
Mrdaddyfister
>Practically a normie
>>707145769
>Tumblr
>fuck off back to mcdonalds
>land whale
>>707158306
Nah, suicide wont fix anything. Only thing that can fix a depression is real medication.
>>707158648
Really? When did I say I was there for him? When was I bragging? He was a dick head. I only lay blame on a girl because that's literally what he left us to find out. He unlocked his tablet and the reason was there. He got rejected, got upset, and went with suicide. I was not there for him. Nobody was. I won't pretend I was. I'm not bragging. I was not there for him. I could not have been there for him at the time. And even if I could have been, I honestly probably wouldn't have. Like I said, he was a dick.
Keep talking, anon. Love talking to trolls. Am also a troll, so I find it interesting.
>>707139703
>last january
>grandmother is getting ready to pass
>shes semi concious
>mumbling in italian or english
>my uncle puts her hand to his face
>"what is that?"
>"its my face"
>"why is it hairy i dont like it"
>back to mumbling
>later that day
>i had to leave for uni. Some wretched bitch professor wouldnt hold my midterm back a day
>hear later that night she passed away
>her last words were "non posso aspettare"
>"i cant wait"
>ball my goddamn eyes out
>wake up next morning
>shave my beard
>for her
Ffw to funeral
>my sister reads a fucking gut wrenching poem that crushed me for days
>walking with grandma
>look it up anons
>>707159006
suicide fixes everything you dumb cunt. just ask my dead brother.
take a shot of concrete hardon up ya bunch of soft cocks
>>707159165
Internet tough guy
>>707159063
good question! when were you there for him? how about when he killed himself? where were you then? trolls trolls trolls. you're the faggot crying about the dead brother you didn't care about enough to stop from killing himself. so now now you wear some gay necklaces for and cry about online. you lie to us more than you lie to yourself.
>>707159101
>Those was words
Your grandma sounded gangster as fuck.
Anyone else on here attempt sudoku before?
I did way back when I was around 13/14 years old. I was on a couple pills, a mood stabilizer, antidepressant, and something else I can't recall. I took all three bottles near-full and went to sleep. That was a really bad idea though, cause I woke up at 2 AM with my heart trying to break through my chest, beating WAY faster than it had any damn right to. I panicked and told my parents, they rushed me to the hospital, which was sadly unequipped to handle the situation, and had to airlift me over to a better hospital closeby. I kinda regret not being able to see out of the helicopter window, cause that was the first time I ever rode in a helicopter. Probably would've been pretty cool minus the whole 'Heart trying to kill itself' thing.
Anyway long story short, I recovered in a good three days, bled a lot when they pulled out my IV, and spent around a week in one of those places they keep suicidal teens to make sure they don't kill themselves. Kinda like a loony bin with looser rules and a LOT less shit on the walls.
>>707159101
god forbid that cunt write something original. amirite? was your dead granny as much of a lazy dego as your sister?
>>707159126
I feel for you man
>>707159606
if only you felt for me as much as you felt for dead your brother, he may still be alive.
life is and empty void which sucks everything into itself, until it doesn't. And then all is forgotten.
>>707159682
i rekon wouldnt change every thing was decided at the big bang faggot is still dead although
>parallel universe
>he is alive
>just not this universe
>>707159870
>KILL YOURSELF
>OH YEA
>>707160076
spoken like a true brother.
>mfw
>probably making things worse
>fuck it Hardon up mate
we are all in this shit hole together quit windgin and get off your ass make a difference dont hope for it to flop on uour lap
>>707159362
Yep, keep asking the same questions, dumb ass. I already answered those questions. so lets go over it one more time:
I was: on my way home
Was I there for him? Nope. Had not been for a while. every time I tried, he wouldn't really let me. LIKE I SAID: He was kind of a dick head.
>calls me a faggot
Whoa, never heard that before. Original insult up in here like a fucking party, yo.
Not crying about it. Just informing people what happened. After all, it is a feels thread.
Also not lying. To each their own though. some people are pretentious dick holes, others are not.
This is fun! Keep typing, toll! Try to piss me off. I haven't felt rage in a long while.
>>707158108
brush your teeth and comb your hair before addressing me, sisterfucking bottom feeding degenerate lmao
i came to /b/ to just try and find something to make me feel even just a bit better. Instead, i sat in this thread and just cried. I dont know /b/. Why are emotions so hard to deal with and understand? Why do people say they care, then turn around and leave you? Why am i sitting here crying over a girl?
>>707160187
Windgin?
Do you mean whingeing?
>>707149962
Yea sounds like you have a mental illness, a chemical imbalance in your head, to your fault, nothing you can do about it. But thats what medicine is for and it will help.
>>707158326
Find something you can invest time in. Religion (kek I know this is an immediate no), music sports anything. As long as you preoccupy your time and distract yourself from the pain, you'll realize that overtime you have gotten over the pain. Im sorry to hear that your brother's life ended the way it did, but use that sadness as a propellant to drive yourself to be the happiest you can be. Your brother's life ended, but yours didn't. Live for both of you and be fun happy goddamnit... :(
>>707160481
god damnit fuck off mate you understood
you stooge
So lonely, don't really have any friends besides workmates, but they are all girls and in relationships so I can't really connect with them. Haven't had a guy friend in about 2 years. All my old friends are still 'friends', but the type of friends you have when you have a life, and don't really have time or a need to connect with them. Except I don't really have a life or anyone I connect with. Have relationship based anxiety, so instead of making a move like I know I should, I do nothing and miss my chance. Got tinder the other day, and this girl messaged me, but once I replied that was it, she never spoke to me again. Just like every other date I've ever been on. Looks promising but for no reason I can figure out just dies. I also can't ever fall asleep, so my life just inches towards that emotionless, tired existence that we all know and love, with no real faith it will get much better.
>>707160758
Sadness weighs down on me every day. I have found interests. Cooking, programming, and Astronomy. Quite random, but all interesting. Being happy is out of the picture. I just can't. But for the most part, I can be occupied. My life seems to be far from over. This is just the beginning.
>>707160441
I dont know but I know exactly how you feel. How can someone go from telling you that they love you to pretending that you don't exist at all if it was a lie in the first place. Why would anybody go to the length of convincing you that they care and then walking away without a single word.
It doesn't even get better with acceptance. I haven't found anything that makes it better.
>>707161058
Thats the spirit fam, your life just beginning so any sadness you feel now is nothing compared to the joy you'll feel later on. Those one or two days that you look back on and smile about are worth living for imo. Depression sucks, but it can be overcome fam. I wish you the best of luck and pure happiness in all your endeavours fam
>>707161081
yeah. It just hurts. A lot. Its been three weeks, and i just dont know what to do. Ive spent several nights just crying and crying until i cant anymore. I guess i just have to keep trying to move on
Wanna go further in 6th year of college still a undergrad. I always worry that my girlfriend will find me boring and fly away it's killing me I wish I wassent such a loser...
>>707145769
I attempted suicide back when and I can tell you, selfishness is the last thing on a suicidal person's mind. Do you think most suicidal people live a life full of friends and happiness and family that would be left devastated without them? No you stupid fuck. They're suicidal for a reason. Of course someone who says shit like "I think I'm going to kill myself" on a website like Tumblr is fishing for attention. An actual suicidal person does not alert the world around them to the fact that they want to kill themselves.
And especially the whole thing about people feeling guilty because they think they are the reason for the suicide. That is the biggest bullshit of all. Most bullies or what have you would think nothing of it or be happy. Humans are naturally awful creatures.
Telling a suicidal person that they are being selfish for thinking of committing suicide would not phase them. The only thing that they're thinking about is the fact that it won't matter once they enter the black void. They won't have the capacity to feel guilty about being selfish when they no longer exist.
>>707161265
It's been almost 6 months for me. Strung me along for a while, which is a shitty thing but ultimately something I allowed them to do. I've never loved anyone like this and I doubt I'll ever move on to someone else. The goal, I guess, is just getting back to functioning like a normal human being again not allowing this to ruin what's left of my life.
i jast mess her
>>707161251
This sort of funny. The only reason I'm not attempting suicide is because it didn't work the last 7 times, and I know it'll fail again. I think I'm a failure in every aspect... So... "That's the spirit" isn't really the best thing to say. Not going to try again though. Pointless. Yet, I feel just fine. I find joy in nothing and have only come to terms with my crippling depression so it no longer hinders my day to day activities. But, I still live. Because... Reasons? I guess? Whatever. I'm not going to be the one to change whether I'm alive or not. :P
>>707161552
emotions are hard. Women are the most wonderful, yet the most cruel things. Wish you the best of luck anon. Hope we can both find that other person
>>707161769
Thanks anon, you too.
>>707161743
My gf cheated on me twice. I forgave her the first time like a retard, but the second time I smartened up and got the fuck out of there. Your brother's suicide should be a lesson for you. Suicide is NEVER an option. If things seem bleak, or if you're feeling like shit, I recommend doing what you and I are doing right now. Nigga I don't like talking, but it really does help at times. You can't control the thoughts you get, but you can control whether you act upon those thoughts or not. Im proud of you for saying you're not going to commit suicide, but you need to convince yourself that you're not so there isn't an 8th time. Im already feeling for you and Id be sad if you died imagine everyone else fam :(
>>707161743
>because it didn't work the last 7 times, and I know it'll fail again. I t
you don't really want to die, just a crybaby faggot
Just started his life? Maybe he did 19 years ago, but he didn't just start his life, retard. I'm glad he's dead; the further away from you, the better.
I have a question. Is it wrong to shut out people you used to talk to for months at a time or more. To ignore thier calls, thier texts, voice-mails just because you don't feel like maintaining a relationship with anyone anymore. You plainly just live your life ignoring them and and all thier emotions towards you because you somehow feel better off just not talking to them or having the same feelings even though they truly care for you. Am I wrong for doing this?
>>707162882
i would just let them know. It isnt wrong of you for not wanting a relationship, just i think youre in the wrong the way you are going about it
>>707162882
why asking? It will happen anyway
>>707162178
There won't be an 8th time. Can promise that. Here's the story of what happened with my gf of 3 years: after my bro went and offed himself, she broke up with me not even a month after it happened. Note that she had broken up with me before and got with another guy the same day. This time, she got with another guy the day after. In that month, she told me, "other people have problems, too" "Some people have real problems they have to deal with" and shit like that. Being me, and in need of a shoulder to cry on, I still wanted her back... After a while, I wizened up and told her I never wanted to speak to her again. Hardly 4 months after she gets with this guy, I hear that she got pregnant. The night I found out, I went on a blind rage. I had to drink to not break everything in sight.
I have very good friends I talk to all the time, so I do have people to talk to about my problems. And on another note, I am completely convinced suicide won't work even if I try it again. Wouldn't be able to do it anyway. Too many people care about me.
>>707162338
Okay let's see here...
I took a shit ton of pills a few times. None worked.
Tried to hang, but the branch broke. then the rope broke when I found a sturdy branch.
Then, one day I did it in the house with a belt, but that didn't work either.
Nigga, I'm a god of life. I can't fucking die even if I did want to. All past attempts have pointed to this. Go eat a sloppy dick, you necrophelic pile of living, rotting shit laced trash.
>>707162882
Yes. Speaking from experience, its the feeling of not being worth the truth that hurts the most. Every normal person knows that you can't make or trick someone in to loving you back. But the least you can give someone who truly cares for you is the truth.
>>707162967
I guess, I just don't know how I could tell someone that without them trying to pry into stuff
>>707162968
I've already lost my whole entire mothers side this way, I'm pretty much just doing it earlier than having it done later
>>707163390
may i ask your relation to that person? Just a friend or what?
>>707163276
>I took a shit ton of pills a few times. None worked.
exactly what I'm saying.
>>707163539
Ranges from full on family to friends. Mostly it's just family though, my friends don't pry to much and don't really care if I talk to them all the time or none of the time
>>707163612
If I took more, people would have noticed. I didn't want people to notice. The fuck do you expect? When you hear pills can kill you and you want to die, you're desperate.
>>707163717
i mean, i think its better to just tell them. Like, you talk to them eventually. I dont really know anon. Kind of a weird situation
>>707140663
tldr
>>707163873
I'll probably talk to them at some point just not now....I just don't know why I do this, it makes me feel worthless to do this to them, but I just feel done with trying to keep up with anyone. I feel drained or just tired talking to anyone sometimes. I sometimes don't even feel the same way about them anymore I've pretty much just shut them out. Even just the thought of even giving them an answer feels me with dread and solace, how can you talk to someone when you feel like that just listening to them?
>>707163015
Im sorry to hear that anon, people who can't set aside their own problems to help a friend in need are despicable. I get it though, we all go through shit but in the case you just had a shit gf and a shit time. Im really glad to hear that you have great friends who listen to you, and Im really happy to hear that you aren't going to kill yourself. People really do care, no matter how miserable and lonely people think they are, there is always someone who will remember them and grieve their loss. Ily man and I hope you find a good girl and happiness nigga
I'll contribute I guess. This is the closest I've been to love. (Still a kissless virgin btw)
>This was about five years ago.
> At a quinceanera (big mexican dance party)
> Meet this chick there and from that moment I was completely mesmerized, still am kinda
>We talk/dance throughout the night I think we really hit it off
>I add her on fb the next day, she adds me, all is well.
>Throughout the course of a few months we become really close and I've made really strong indicators that I wanted to be with her but never fully asserted it.
>She starts dating this guy I'm kinda disappointed but accept it and we keep on being friends.
> I get a girlfriend later (she's another story) and after a few months of dating the first chick stops talking to her dude for a bit and her and I start talking again
>That's pretty much how the relationship between me and her has always been
>We talk intensely, it dies down, we stop we repeat
> She then goes through a series of on and off with another guy while I'm tangled in the middle.
>FF to earlier this year. I Inv her to my grad party
>She actually came
>And actually gave me twenty bucks. And goddamn was she beautiful, but she's always looked beautiful to me, even when she didn't think so.
>throughout the night we drink and I've pretty much tuned my other guests out, she's the only one who matters.
>We started kinda snuggling? while sitting next to eachother and...
>Was that feeling love? It felt immensely right and warm and comforting to be there with her, caressing her hand.
>I asked her to be my girlfriend on the spot despite it probably not being the best decision as I was leaving to uni and she still had a year more of hs.
>We date, but I leave in a few weeks I try to cherish my time with her.
>We finally talk about what we want to do, she suggested open relationship, it sounded cool at first.
>But at uni I realized that I only want her.
>In one of our calls I tell her, and she starts acting werid
cont?
>>707164821
Thanks. Although I have doubts, the possibility are endless.
>>707139703
I slowly fell in love with a girl and I fucked it up after 3 years. It feels shitty
>>707140609
Is this what high function Autism is like?
>>707165122
is this me? cont you fucking sploof
>>707165122
always continue nigga. Fuck, there are lurkers out there.
>>707165122
>She's questioning me on why I want to "close" the realtionship
>Maybe to fucking get closer to you thick-headed bitch
>During one call I just ask "what's up?"
>She responds with, "Just hanging out with friends"
>Hold. The. Fucking .Phone
>Something here is amiss, or rather sounds familiar.
>when her and I would be out late and her mom/brother called her she would tell them the exact same thing.
>In the back of my mind I feel a disturbance in the force but I decide to just keep trying in hopes that everything will work out.
>She starts to sound pretty annoyed with my calls and dodges me for a week.
> then finally to the next call shes's saying she doesn't have enough time for this relationship.
>I think it's bs
> I press on tell her things will be ok, remind her of all the good times we've had we laughed for a bit over the phone
>I love her laugh
>The real smile not the fake one
> The smile where you can see that she has a slightly prominent overbite that she tries to hide.
>I love that laugh and smile
>I think that's the last time I'll ever hear it.
>things were good for a few days then she ends a call short pretty much ending us.
>with no reason.
> I call and call and text and text like a cucked fool
>I send her this https://youtu.be/cQmzp-NA5PM
> I think she took it the wrong way.
> ever since we met she's been the distant kind and kind of emotionally detached and she's told me that people call her cold and I can see that it bothers her a bit. What I was trying to get across with the vid is that I've been trying all I could
>No response save for her changing her profile name to the name of the song
> I did some lurking on the social media and discovered that she's got a pic with some dude over sc and he has her as wifey
>pic was posted at about the same time that she started acting weird.
> I got cucked hard guys
>I really wanted live my life with this chick.
>I'm cucked so hard that I still do.
Some buddies of mine really helped though
it hurts
>>707165496
I'll green text it if anyone wants to read it.
>Be Me 13
>I'm middle school
>I was somewhat popular liked by most type of deal
>I go through the year just doing the usual
>the next year, is when I met her. You all know the one
>For the sake of anonymity she will be called Alice
>she was a little on the short side with dark hair, not extraordinary but she wasn't forgettable
>she did have very bright green eyes
>She was the quiet, reserved type of girl.
>our school had these summer camps where the kids who were coming in the fall could get to know the older kids.
>during the icebreakers I was paired up with her
>I was the kind of spaghetti autist when it came to girls
>she didn't mind though, we ended up laughing as I found out she was just as awkward as I
>we started hanging out for the rest of the camp
>when the school started I got her adjusted to the school layout and all of the little quirks of the place
At lunch on the first day we end up going outside to eat as there was nowhere to sit in the cafeteria
>we became inseparable
>over the course of the year we grew closer
>we'd talk for hours on end over IM and the Phone.
>keep in mind my parents both had Motorola Razors, those small flip phones so they didn't mind me using the house phone
>the end of the year came and we both passed unsurprisingly
>the summer came and of course we were going to try hang out everyday
cont.
>>707167279
>sent her this
>spongebob background music
>>707167637
faggot
it's a sad song
but i cant help but chuckle a bit now
fuck I'm dying laughter is good medicine
>now ive got a mix of sad tears and happy tears on my face
thankyou
>>707167279
Always plays out like this, say no to open relationships as they are the catalysts for cucking. One always gets away, keep your head high and meet new girls. There's a lot of life you still havent lived
>>707167589
lurkin homie
>>707167875
I'll try man. But it's a completely different place here. and I've never really been good with ladies to begin with
>>707167762
yw faggot, but like I said just keep your head high and MEET new women. They aren't a different species, Im sure theres some girl out where you live who sends spongebob music to her exes too. Man up and talk to some, you'll find the one
t. experienced faggot
>>707168207
Ok.
I have a situation that you may be able to help me with.
So here at the uni theres a gym I go to 3-4 days a week
I was doing squats and there was this qt on the squat cage opposite me
awkward eye contact a many
even accidentally synchronized reps at some points. if I see her next time how do I approach/talk to her?
>>707168485
Have you seen her after that one day?
also its simple, approach her, talk (casually ask her how long she's been working out ect.) be cool. Nigga just be confident in yourself. Take a deep breathe, walk up to her maintain eye contact but not in a creepy ass way and talk. Compliment her ( once, twice max) and then walk away
If you see her again rinse and repeat and then when you feel its right ask her out
>>707169563
ok cool.
I have not seen her. going to the gym mby tomorrow or mon or tues.
Will try to do that stuff.
>>707167589
>Over the summer we go out to do stuff,
>I don't know if it was official dates but we went out to eat, drinks at the corner store that kind of stuff
Forgot to mention my school also has a trip they like to take every summer a month before the new students get here.
>of course when the day comes we both planned to sit with each other when it comes.
>we have out bags packed by the time the last person arrived
>we stop a total of two times that day, once to eat and another to stay in a hotel at the end of the day
>both times we were still inseparable. Out of all the other students in the school we both unanimously decided to stay close to each other
>mayhap it was our awkwardness already made it hard for us to fit in with any social groups we decided to not change what we had
>anyways, we stuck together
>when we got to the hotel, we swam for a while and then our classes ate.
>then it was swim or or stay in your rooms
>we still swam even when the tips of our fingers looked shrivelled
>when lights out came we snuck out to go hang out somewhere to hang out
>we probably stayed up until 1:30 in the morning just joking and having a good time.
>the next day we ate breakfast and made the last trek to the retreat house where we were staying for the week
>we unpacked quickly to explore the wilderness that surrounded the house
>since we couldn't sneak out this night we fashioned a clothesline to send messages along on a paper clip
>we used a lot of a paper doing that.
>the next day we were finally allowed to explore the deep ravine no more than 40 steps away from the the front of the building
>we went down the next day
Cont.
reh ssim tsuj I
>>707145722
Pff as if someone would try to kill themselves for me or go to therapy because of it. Fake and gay.
>>707169722
Don't put too much pressure on yourself
Dont be a creep
Don't stay too long
Dont overcompliment
Don't ask her out right away
DONT lie
Do smile
Do laugh
Do listen close af, girls love that shit
Do wait a while before asking her out
Do look clean
and finally make sure you seem confident in yourself, if you're not sure about yourself why would a girl be in you?
This goes for anyone tbh, you can do it
>>707169805
oot em
>>707169757
go on....
>>707170155
dubs of truth right here. Thankyou friend, will try
Is it bad that I read all these and felt nothing.
>>707170525
maybe we have no real reasons to be bitching either
>>707170525
Yes you're probably a clinical psychopath.
>>707170752
Then It probably makes since why I laughed at a few of them...
>>707141421
Why the fuck is ford shipping job to Germany and turkey?
>now I'm voting trump
>>707167589
>Over the summer we go out to do stuff,
>I don't know if it was official dates but we went out to eat, drinks at the corner store that kind of stuff
Forgot to mention my school also has a trip they like to take every summer a month before the new students get here.
>of course when the day comes we both planned to sit with each other when it comes.
>we have out bags packed by the time the last person arrived
>we stop a total of two times that day, once to eat and another to stay in a hotel at the end of the day
>both times we were still inseparable. Out of all the other students in the school we both unanimously decided to stay close to each other
>mayhap it was our awkwardness already made it hard for us to fit in with any social groups we decided to not change what we had
>anyways, we stuck together
>when we got to the hotel, we swam for a while and then our classes ate.
>then it was swim or or stay in your rooms
>we still swam even when the tips of our fingers looked shrivelled
>when lights out came we snuck out to go hang out somewhere to hang out
>we probably stayed up until 1:30 in the morning just joking and having a good time.
>the next day we ate breakfast and made the last trek to the retreat house where we were staying for the week
>we unpacked quickly to explore the wilderness that surrounded the house
>since we couldn't sneak out this night we fashioned a clothesline to send messages along on a paper clip
>we used a lot of a paper doing that.
>the next day we were finally allowed to explore the deep ravine no more than 40 steps away from the the front of the building
>we went down the next day
Cont.
>>707146577
>said his only desire was to do a road trip we used to do often one more time with me
Tell me more about these road trips
>>707140663
ur grandpa's a roach
>>707171092
Fuck it posted twice?
>>707146577
kek
>>707145621
>>707145670
>>707145722
>>707145769
fuck this shit... if you're expected to live for someone else when you don't want to do it by yourself, what shitty life is that?
>>707139703
I lost my brother a few years ago, anon. I know the feeling. He was only 14. Just keep going. Everything happens as it should. Every life is worth living, because you only have one that you know of. Learn to understand and enjoy that pain. It's a fire that will temper you.
>>707171092
Cont?
Did some shots for the first time today, and i can confirm that alcohol numbs the pain of existing.
>>707158414
hits hard dude, from my country (Sri Lanka)
>>707158414
his name was Lakshman Kadiragamar, one of the finest foreign secreraries we had, and the fuckers blew him to shreds. They were fighting for tamil independence yet they blew a successful tamil man bc he was with the govt. fuckers
The photo on the wall is our former president, that's how I know, plus I saw this on TV as a kid
>>707171092
>We walked down that afternoon, a half hour after lunch if I remember correctly.
>we walked down for a bit, the only thing that was worth smelling was the pungent door of moss on the trees
>after a while of walking we came across an alcove far enough down the path to out of ear shot of everyone else
>we found a bench there where we sat down
>we tried to make small talk but failed as we began to stare into each others eyes
>it was awkward as fuck but we kissed
>we proceed to do it more for a while then we watched the sun set through the trees
>we promised each other that we would be boyfriend and Girlfriend together forever, you know. We'd pretend to get married on a playground, if there was one.
>We still talked a shit ton after the trip ended
>fast forward a while
>I finished 8th Grade there and went ahead to high school
>She wanted to be there with me badly
>I learned as much as I can about the new school. We talked so much during the year, even if it meant getting a few hours of sleep at most
>I had to go back to my old school for an event one night and the first thing that she did was kiss me
>it was nice being with her again.
>We had fun that night
>I went back to my schoo, and finished the year
Cont next one is the last
>>707173920
>Alice came to the same school as I did in the fall
>but it all went to shit over the summer between 9th and Tenth Grade
>I was the victim of Sexual Assault
>of course she was the first person I told
>but something between us snapped.
>we didnt talk anymore, it's just the occasional look from across the room
>I can see she's hurt
>I was too but I didn't give a shit. I just wanted them to be happy again, even if it wasn't with me.
>I just wanted to see her smile again
>I didn't know what to do
>only a month in she left the school
>I didn't know when the right time to talk to her would be, I felt too horrible about it to do so.
>She killed herself the month after that
I don't know what to do, I can even talk to people with out being an autistic piece of shit.
I can't talk to any girls because they all remind me of her. It's a horrible feeling guys
>>707173920
>>707174684
what? is this real? who tf is them?
>>707174684
If this story is true, my advice is to see a counselor. I've been in a similar place, and it's the best thing I've ever done.
>>707139703
lots of people die every hour of every day. Old people and young people for no "reason". why don't you start crying for them too or use your brain for the first time in your life.
>>707175871
cuz he had no connecting to those people maybe
are u not allowed to cry when someone close to you dies because they arnt the only one?
>>707175871
Who have you lost? What has your life been like?
>be me
>since born, inadapted to social life, hate everyone
>had one friend that was like me until i moved
>hate my life
>i just want to kill everyone
help
>>707177037
Same here although I've never even had that one friend similar to me.
>>707177744
sometimes i feel like i'm autistic / neuroatypical
>>707139703
There was this girl from HS who I had a big crush on (probably the biggest crush on a girl I've ever had) and I'd always get really nervous around her, stumble over my words and blush. We'd barely engage in conversations throughout the years. Now I've started university and I know for a fact that she's single. I think I may have finally mustered up the courage to get to know her, but don't know where to start and don't want to come off as creepy. Only contact I have with her is through social media. Any tips, /b/ros?
don't die on me thred
>>707179013
that cunt killed the thread tho
>>707179102
what cunt ?
>>707141421
My grandmother had some sort of alzheimers. It's fuckng horrible anon, she slowly turned in to a completely different person.
The worst part was the few moments of clarity.
"Am I really this forgetful anon? This is a lot worse than I thought."
These moments lasted for maybe two minutes, tops. Then she went away again, din't know who I was or where we were or anything.
I wish she died five years earlier than she did, those last years were horrible for both her and the whole family.
>>707179167
HIM!
He knows
>>707179713
oh ok
>>707159392
oh good , that last pic almost get me
