What does your last text message from a person of the opposite sex say?
>>707056764
"I didn't think electronic rape was possible"
>>707056764
"I'll keep you posted into the early afternoon! "
>>707056764
"Sounds good, everything's fine with me. And you? Hit me up after the weekend :)"
Tinder hoe.
I shouldn't be able to bang her, been like three days late answering every one of her texts...
>>707057796
That didn't make any sense
"Giggle"
>>707056764
Beautiful. pic related
>>707057985
tl;dr he's an edgelord
If I fall asleep will you make sure my phone is on the charger.
"Goodnight! x"
Not counting my mother
"and this is with no calculator you have to give me props here"
"Ooo exciting"
"very good baby"
If you find some papers along the way that would be cool. :)
Omg I am so doing this hike tomorrow
My fiancé is scoping out wedding venues in Sedona and she's out running and found a pretty trail
"$25.64 in change, £1.15, .10 Canadian cents, and $87 in cash including a $2 bill"
Emptying out our change jar before our trip this thursday.
>>707056764
"Little bit ahah only shared a small joint so wasn't a whole lot"
friend at a sleep over
"This is my subdivision"
>>707057985
I know, right?
> tsk tsk
"Oh I didn't know or don't remember they have one"
"Haha you're huge"
>>707058198
No!
"Home safely"
"What's the password?"
-mom
any female that's not family is 2 years old
"Yepp"
-old friend
I never really realize how little interactions I have with the opposite sex
>>707056764
"8 days"
"Imissyou baby"
>>707056764
" I like you like alot,alot"
Girl that lives down the street from me
>>707056764
"Hope you come soon! :)"
"I'm going for a nap"
>>707056764
>seen
"dont think we should speak for a few days bc when we speak its easy for me to forget what you've actually done and then when we stop i think about it and it still repulses me so think its best to leave it" - girlfriend
"Really big"
>>707059260
You fucked up
>>707059260
wachu do?
We'll think of something
(bunch of snileys)
Not related, but why females use so many smileys? One is quite enough, no?
Good morning
I ignored the text.
"Goodnight xoxo"
'Straya
>>707056764
"Dinner at my place? Parents are in town and want to meet you :)"
Never done this before sounds scary and awkward
>>707059431
You monster frisbee
"Want me to stab you today? "
Lol thats going to look great wothout context
>>707059369
cheated on her for a 3rd time, she's still contemplating leaving me
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
last message received: I sleep now love u long time
my reply: Goodnight m8
nothing special
>>707058153
Oh, fuck off.
We've been messaging back and forth for a while but I've been so slow replying and only answered very concise barely bantering at all. So the chance of her flaking me is reasonably high.
Gay fucker
>>707056764
"When I get off work I'll call you and tell you what happened today. Now back to work, bye. :)"
Hi
i called myself an alpha male and she replied "HAHA, okie". She thinks im a beta :(
"Creep"
>>707056764
"what up boooy"
"Cool. I love you babe."
>>707056764
"Im bringing dinner home, be there in 5"
>>707059582
if you wanna fuck random people why not just leave her?
>>707059768
only Betas call themselves alpha male you autistic fuck
>>707059905
just did it cause drunk i dont wanna fuck other people
>>707056764
“Jaaaaaaa“
"XD"
"Because I love him" in reguarding to this video I sent him after he called Pepe hot https://youtu.be/XkqQXX2cl5k
WE COULD GO SEE THE CHRISTMAS MARKETS IN POLAND!!!!! I've seen deals for 2nights and flights ect for less than £90 each!
What is that?
It is was a mey mey to far for her understanding
>>707059986
Ahhh, children and alcohol. Such fun together
Hi. You back in ILM?
>>707056764
>be home soon
from my mum
>>707060072
i'm guessing you wear fedoras
"huh who are you?"
from a girl I spent two years of my life with
it was the last thing she ever said to me.
>>707056764
give me your money
>>707060122
Nope just an adult that knows alcohol is a piss poor excuse for being retarded
Foing to a halloween party.
I'am blond with grey coat and glasses come to me when yo see me
pic related
>>707056764
>implying anyone of the opposite sex has ever texted me
>>707060204
I bet you're fun at parties
well if you got invited to any
im sooooo horny""
>>707059986
It's really not that fucking hard not to fuck someone who isn't your girlfriend when you're drunk. I'm sure you think you love her, but you're putting her through a lot of pain over and over again because you can't control yourself. If your excuse is alcohol, stop drinking alcohol. Think about how you'd feel if she cheated. Let her be happy and leave her. I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years and I've been drunk around plenty of other people while she wasn't there.
I've had them come on to me. I've had them invite me back to theirs or ask to go back to mine. It's not hard to say no and it's not hard to not pull my dick out and put it in them.
>>707056764
Like from a family member? "So sleeepy, did you figure out a hangout day" or from my girl? "Dooo do do do doooooo dod doooo do do do dooooo da doooooo dooot do do doood do do dooo dah do dah dooo doot dooda do doooo" or from some other girl? "He'll msg you when he goes back in the office" there you go /b/
>>707056764
"going to the store. I'll tell you later if I'll join on going out" FeelsBadMan im taking it as a no.
"Wow!!"
>although, not in the context you'd think/the context I want
I think we should stop talking
>>707056764
"not entirely sure which house is yours :P"
>>707060313
Because doing things you dont want to do is a fun time. Why not just drink, get a bit of a buzz and enjoy the night rather than get stupid, risking a relationship and looking like an ass?
";)))"
>>707056764
does it count if it she was looking for someone else?
>>707060392
Definitely a no.
>>707060399
What context then?
lol keaton.
>>707060474
cause he's a dumb cunt.
>>707060556
I told her I was HIV positive
>>707060381
I'm sure you've had lots of offers from girls to have sex with you, you're definitely not a beta faggot who has to make up lies on b/ to make yourself feel better
>>707056764
"I love you so much. I can't wait to see you again."
"i sent u a picture of mug pens"
>>707060710
Having dinner at moms or something?
>>707060474
>>707060594
all these dumb faggots are so jealous that i can get a girlfriend cheat on her and still keep her when they have literally never kissed a girl hahaha oh dear
" milk, sunberry juice"
http://media-giphy17.com.br/jvbvvvvieu9f.jpg
>>707060556
I was telling her where my friends along the east coast had to evacuate to in order to evade Hurricane Matthew and I have a buddy from Florida whose family ended up in a hotel in Mobile, Alabama
So she said wow
>i wish she'd said wow to a dick pic
>>707056764
Yeah
"hey, how are things going? Are you okay?"
>>707060785
I know I sure am!
>>707056764
I'm leaving your father
>>707060645
not lots, but when you go to a party or a club/bar and you're drinking and talking, sometimes they get the wrong idea and ask if you want to go. I've been with someone for nearly 10 years. I go out plenty. It's bound to happen occasionally. I'll admit I get a bit flirty when drunk, but I'll always keep my hands to myself. I know how much it'd hurt her because I know how much it'd hurt me.
"A homemade oden set was only ¥2.11 in Big A. Wasn't it like $9 in Marukai? "
Japanese GF, relaying information about good value oden sets.
havent thoguht about that essay rly yet
"..."
>>707060261
youre gonna be raped anon its a blonde guy and he has that grey coat for a reason (quick access to mr donger)
>>707060795
Alright then, send a dick pic and get a possible "wow" in response problem solved!
>>707060785
I asked you why and you said you didn't want to, you were drunk. That makes you a dumb cunt. If you just don't care, that's fine. Don't try to act like you don't care when you evidently do. You're worried about losing her.
>>707060850
she's probably cheated on you loads of times in that 10 years but never told you :)
"want me to block you again?"
this was 5 days ago
>>707060962
not too worried as i'm very sure she won't leave me
>>707060844
underrated
>>707056764
>Thanks friendo
Pic related, sent to gf.
>>707060785
>says didn't want to cheat
>blames alcohol
Not even that man. If you're doing dumb shit when drinking, that means you're still cant handle alcohol. If you go and tear it up every night off a handle of your choosing, nothing wrong with that but when you make your own mistakes and shift the blame to something that you yourself have control over, then you're just a child. I did the same shit and lost a good gal from it. Luckily I found a better one.
>>707060785
your girlfriend must be ugly af to be desperate enough to stay with you. no ones jealous. kys
>>707061119
Its supposed to be the other way around dumbass
>>707060983
I've been cheated on before I knew her. This one is something else, from what I can see. Literally has no desire to talk to or spend time with anyone but me. If I'm not going to be somewhere, she doesn't want to go/most of the time won't go. It's a bit much but she's wonderful, so I don't mind, and she doesn't get angry at me when I want to do things on my own. Not all girls are bad man.
>>707061173
getting this mad haha, go enjoy your fleshlight
Does my mom count?
>>707061202
Okay fine, fag. She sent me this right before.
>>707056764
>Also, what's your gmail? I want to share this google drive folder I told you about earlier.
4 minutes ago, she also sent some shit 20 minutes and 3 hours ago. I haven't opened her messages for the last 2 days and it's already like 16 unread messages... I'm just afraid i'll be awkward. She's my colleague but she keeps sending me random messages all the time and I feel like i'll fuck it up every single time I want to say something back. I'm pretty great and confident IRL but I just sperg out over texting.
>>707061088
>Friendo
>Friend
>Frrrrriiiieeeennddd
>>707061055
one day she will.
>>707060850
You sound like an overly emotional person, I bet you've cried infront of her? You think she told Jamal about the time you cried?
"I will block you if you don't stop messeging me"
>>707056764
Something about the dot product of 3d vectors.
>>707060785
http://allpsych.com/psychology101/defenses/
>>707061245
i've never once been cheated on but cheated on pretty much every girl, if she "has no desire" to spend time with anyone but you she's probably bullshitting you and messing around behind your back
>>707061330
but not today faggot :)
"Okay"
>>707061323
Pretty memey female you got going on there
>>707061344
stop trying to act like you have no emotion. We've been together for almost 10 years. We've lost family members while being together. We've had miscarriages. We've been through a lot. Of course I've cried infront of her. It's just most likely a bi-yearly occurrence and results from some extenuating circumstances.
I'm human. I cry
>>707056764
heart emoji
>>707061327
help me /b/, what should I do ?
"..."
>>707061642
Lol
"Me neither!"
>>707061642
it wasn't a miscarriage she just wanted to deletus that fetus cause you're such a faggot
>>707061682
Honestly, pussy on a pedastool. If you dont message her back, it goes no where. If you do, you may fuck it up but you still did something. It's pointless for a batter to go down without swinging.
>>707061762
What?
>>707061946
The ol coat hanger trick. Or falling down stairs repeatedly. Ya know, abortion.
"Thank you!"
>>707061521
nah, it's not something she says, it's her behaviour. I've cheated a lot and I've been cheated on a lot. This time it's different. She put it eloquently when I asked her when we first met, if she'd ever cheated on someone. Something along the lines of 'No. I couldn't. That'd require me to be willing to hurt someone I love just for a fuck that I could get from them anyway. No dick in the world is worth seeing someone you care about being heartbroken. Except Brad Pitts dick.' And now I notice she basically refuses to go anywhere without me. If anybody invites her to a gathering, party etc and I don't want to go/can't go, or I have something else to do, she'll just say no. But even if she did go, I'd trust her. I trust her with my life, I can certainly trust her not to open her legs for some random guy.
Your vagina
"Hey!!"
2 hours ago
>>707062126
you do realize no one cares about your relationship with some fat autistic hog that cant even leave the house without you to hold her hand, please stop going n about it
>>707056764
"Good morning baby I love you"
>>707058494
If it's a she it's fiancée
"You should know each other"
>>707062016
She's pro-life as fuck (for herself, she doesn't care about what others do but if she gets pregnant she will never abort). We fought because I didn't want the kid and she did. Eventually, I changed my mind and a few months later it was gone. She was more crushed than I'd ever seen her.
"I love it more than life."
>>707062309
I'm just replying. And she's 110 pounds. My only requirement to give someone a chance of a relationship is have at a minimum a 6/10 face and not be fat. Fat people make me sick.
>>707058702
Deets?
>>707062369
did your future fall out of her like chunks of jelly
"show me"
>>707062369
Wasn't the anon who in>>707061762 just clarification.
>>707059345
No it's not
"That explains a lot"
>>707056764
>ok, see you on monday
>>707056764
Mfw it was 4weeks ago, and my mom
i miss you
" Papatki ^^"
>>707062493
if she wont have a kid with you when you've been together 10 years, she doesn't love you
>pic related.
Така ли говориш на момиче
>>707061909
Okay, I do communicate a lot with her, that's why I don't want it to go in ruins. Thanks, wish me luck.
It's been a long week.
"LOOLL well that day i'm supposed to go with my dad to practice driving i'll let you know if anything c:"
Pic that her
>>707056764
"it looks good" - My gf after I showed her my new desktop background
Okay let me know! :)
>>707056764
"helli"
You're the best
>>707063090
Son, I think you need to get off this website.
Seriously she looks and texts like a 14 year old.
>>707063090
>>707063807
Wait.. I think I was baited.
Hi Anon. How was your weekend party ? A. [Family friend's name] and A.[Family friend's name] have sent Birthday envelopes for you. When are we going to see you ?
>>707056764
"How are you feeling?"
>Riveting
Bought this 2 year old german shepherd from a granny and shipped it to China. Last message was to her "Ja alles gut."
"just letting the dogs out then I'm headed over to your house."
I love you
>>707056764
"Yes!"
-In response to whether she likes my new hat
>implying that we can get a girl's phone number
>>707056764
"I'm moving in to my own place at the end of the month so you can just pop in whenever I don't answer. Lol."
Pick up cat food.
"Hey b"
"How'd you get my nudes?"
>>707056764
"Just reminding you to not forget about the check. Don't want any problems this month, right?"
That was from my ex-wife. She took my kid and I haven't seen him in a long time. But from time to time he sends me letters and such. Remember getting one a while back about a handwritten assignment he had to do for class. It was about who his hero was and wrote about me.
>>707059508
The more comfortable you are the better. I have never once had an issue with meeting my girl's parents.
"How are you?".
No idea who that's even from.
The one before that says...
"I
LOVE
YOU
I love you"... from a hot crazy chick who I've not seen in about 10 years.
>>707060381
This, hope she dumps you cheating anon.
>>707056764
"I'm pretty sure you'll forget to wish me"
>>707061561
I don't think I have ever seen someone this salty on b/ lol,
>replying to all comments
>>707066526
Lies...
I'd die for chicken
>>707056764
there is nothing and i mean ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with this girls face
But i bet she has a flat ass, gods way of balancing things out 8(
>>707056764
"Was sent in error. Ignore"
>>707056764
"Do NOT take 392 when it comes back on the board. Lady is combative and only $25"
>>707056764
"Staying at Deans. Love you!"
>You too! Cya:)
"Good morning...don't want to wake you but if you are awake let me know what you want for breakfast :)"
>>707067326
Cuck
"You were so sleepy babe. I forgot to charge my phone and I have no charger I gotta turn it off. I'll email you. I'm so sorry I need my gps to get home I have 8%"
>>707056764
"can you come here"
my girlfriend and I are both feeling sick.
'OK
Wish you a nice day and take care'
We had argued this morning and now we arent talking.
>>707056764
"How much money do you have?" - wife
>>707067488
My momma and her man, I'm 21 still living with mom
"I'm sorry. I realized what I did was wrong. You're better off without me. You won't have to ever hear from me again"
"Unless you're there already heh xx"
Mates gf
On the way...
"Whoa that's huge! No wonder you've been with so many women"
And
"I'll make it a fun trip if you drive me to Long Island in your corvette again ;)"
"you forgot"
"One's a crew sock and one's a knee sock to make things even better."
"Big or small can"
I cooked at a friends house and made her go shopping for me.
>>707068214
Lmfao get a load of this lying shit
Lol fuck this is the best post I've seen since 8am
Are you ok?
>>707059582
>>707060381
This. You fucking faggot. I hope you cry your guts out when she leaves you.
"I'm coming over. You're sure she's at work???"
>>707069221
The dude's a faggot.
I literally don't know
>>707066877
If I gave a shit about your opinion I'd screenshot it.
Who even cares. Believe what you want to believe.
This is from yesterday at 8PM
It says:
"Hahahahaha"
"Yeah"
"Count on it"
"Don't be a smartass"
"Of the situation"
"Stop it"
"You are shit"
"You're annoed me" (swearing)
I dun goofed it seems.
"nooo come over i need someone to be sarcastic with me <3 <3 <3 <3"
I ditched dinner with friends because I'm depressed.
"you're pathetic"
"I'll go for dinner, bye mom"
"Do you think you'll get a better chance with that one?"
:'v
>>707060844
you can grow from this anon stay stronk
>>707056764
"ok cool then"
"ah i love you goodnight sorry"
>>707058824
kek beat mine
"Yeah...maybe sometime just chill x" -February 19th 2009.
>mfw
Fml.
>>707067783
maybe you.both have the AIDS
Surprise ! I have a baby
>>707056764
"At Sherlocks"
we were meeting at a pub.
>>707056764
Outside them both
/start
>>707056764
"I had a great time and I'm glad we got to hang out!"
Went out drinking last night and she was in our group.
>>707056764
"Why would I wanna see a bunch of tit grabbing when I could make you hard"
>>707056764
fuck you cunt you're just my cum dump you fucking whore
>>707056764
"Anon, you are 20 minutes late for work. Where are you?"
>>707071467
>shitposting memes on the internet
>>707056764
'Oh god, don't feel well' - My mom
starting insanity workout now
>>707056764
"Dorkus" - my gf
i love this
http://cheesespin.net/
>>707056764
4091
From my wife
>>707059391
Given that context, she really, REALLY wants to fuck.
>>707056764
"I can't do this anymore"
:(
That was 3 1/2 years ago.
"What did I just watch?? Haha"
>>707072469
Forfeal?
Dayum
I just got dumped. I think I'm going to impregnate and marry the next breathing woman I fuck.
>>707072469
I'm too old to survive a 3 year dry spell without kms.
>>707072925
>next breathing woman I fuck
>>707056764
I love you babe really i do. <3
>>707056764
"Hey, what are you doing Friday?"
Please don't talk to to him any more, I hope you're not doing anything behind my back
"Pet on Head"
"I am back in my bed"
lazy rhyming hoe
"<3"
It's actually a heart emoticon but I can't do that here. She's technically my ex but we've been just friends for years.
>>707069221
go home white knight, you still havent found your unicorn and you never will.
>>707071863
I know her pin. Now I just need the card.
>>707059579
this reminds me of something this girl I'm talking to would say
>>707056764
"We can still be friends..., can't we ??"
>>707073022
Yeah. I work in small hospital.
>>707071683
You know you would pay for it.
>>707056764
"Do you still want to get some coke tonight?"
"Very nice"
>>707061323
lUCKY MAN
"they are so cute"
"Hey, are you going to take the physics midterm tomorrow or are you gonna do the thing Mr. S was saying about combining the midterm and final together? I'm not sure what to do...."
>>707056764
Yurt!!
>>707056764
me: hey when do you wanna meet up?
her: whenever i have a free house
hell yeah bois
"Should I come over then?"
>>707056764
trans and proud
>>707074003
Talking about your tiny balls, was he?
>>707074029
Is is a cutie? You can have a
>Qt science gf
Make a move anon!!!!!!!
>>707056764
"goodmorning qt"
>>707073577
Gross
Coke is pretty lame and brings out an awful side of people
Nieuwe kennissen :)
Ma ik ben nie naïef en weet dat de meeste voor andere dingen op Tinder zitten
"working"
just come over and fuck already.
>>707056764
I'm happy to hear that. Can't wait to see you.
>>707074406
Yep.
To appropriate a classic line from a comedian who shall remain nameless:
"They say cocaine enhances you personality...., but what if you're an asshole???"
"I just left dang"
Kill yourself, faggot.
>>707075172
Me to
>Good night, sweet dreams lovely x
>bye
"I used the key under the mat and let myself in. I hope that's okay with you. See you after work!"
Boyfriend told me to come over after work, but I had other plans.
>>707056764
please
>>707075467
Cringe
>>707075467
if straight, send pics
Are you awake?
"Marion berry, I think thats how you spell it."
"You dont think so??"
>>707056764
Wut
>>707075661
Don't see how. He didn't mind it. A lot better than him having to pick me up after he got off work. Instead of just being able to go home.
>>707056764
yaayy
>>707056764
"Lol, thats fucking nuts bro." My sister
"I regret talking to you"
Don't worry about it. Help san anselmo.
I'll suck your nuts. -sister
>>707056764
"my daddy won't be in so we can hav sex at my house, c u tomorow"
>>707066005
I'm sorry for you dude
>>707066005
At least you work out or #wrongjpg
>>707068017
Bastard
Your cock is sooooo big and my pussy hurts from you stretching me out. My asshole hurts too. And my mouth. And I love you and want to introduce another woman into our bedroom.
I'm going to bbq some ribs for you before I stop by the Ferrari dealership and but you a new car for our vacation to Martha's Vineyard.
"When do you want to come get your check? Sorry about yesterday. I just got a ratified contract and had to take care of all the paperwork"
>>707077912
Faggot
Leave it alone
"I love you more than anything"
