Where are my fellow autists?
>When I shit I lay on my legs
>When I watch porn I can almost exclusively only cum if synchronized with either the male and/or female cumming at the same time
>If I am doing poorly in video games i'll hit myself repeatedly
Me posting here.
Allow myself to get beat up by my gf
Piss in sinks cause its more convenient than the toilet
>>706896106
Always cross my legs like a chick
I'm a dude, its comfortable for me, and I'd say my dick is average size
>>706897041
this isn't autism this is full retard
eat my cum every time i fap
>>706897216
literally lots of men do this bro
its like are you even trying
There's an area on my scalp where the nerves are completely haywire. I like to take needles and lightly hammer them into the sensitive spots. For some reason it feels really good.
I'm pretty sure no one else does that.
>>706896106
also do the laying on legs thing
Enjoy the fragrance of my fart
>>706896106
Keep my CP in a truecrypt container that requires a set of keyfiles that are on a flash drive with 60k other random files, within a veracrypt container that requires another set of keyfiles from the same flash drive, on an encrypted external drive.
I like to keep my spare change in a glass jar in my center console that also functions as an ashtray.when I get stressed/have a panic attack I'll suck on the pennies and dimes and sometimes swallow the dimes
>>706897482
wow you and i are brothers.
i genuinely find something pleasing about an especially rugged dry fart.
what are your favorite?
>Rage extremely hard when playing overwatch. I've broken two ps4 controllers and one headset from it. Fuck anyone who plays mei
>I like to collect the roaches I often find in my room and keep them in a class container. I keep them as pets and have conversations with them. I currently have six right now.
>I avoid leaving the house at all costs. It's been nearly a month since I've been outside. Just the thought of interacting with other people makes me start to sweat.
>I write down possible conversations I could have with people in the future and critique my responses. Usually end up depressed or scribbling all over them and throwing into a pile in my closet
>only allow tv/stereo volume to be on even numbers
>eat skittles/m&ms/reeses pieces only in identical pairs. (two orange pieces. two yellow pieces. etc)
>>706897637
Strong, manly aroma of taco morning after
>>706897641
you sound like a fun guy to be around
i kneel when I pee
I pluck all of my nipple hairs out with a rusty pair of tweezers and place each hair into an old water bottle. My goal is to fill up an entire water bottle with my nipple hair and then drop a match inside and inhale the aroma
>>706897882
Well that's.... Different
>>706897636
Also
> flicker the lights on and off in 3 sets of 3s whenever I enter a room
> can only sleep with a light on in the bathroom. I can't see the light from my bedroom but I need to know that it's on
>>706897706
what if you eat two different colored skittles?
I shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain because my toilet has been broken for the last three weeks and I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom. I purposely eat like shit to make it more watery and easier to drain
>>706898041
>>706897706
what if there's an odd number in the bag?
I piss sitting down. I dont give a fuck, its nice to relax even if its just while having a piss.
>>706897882
>>706898024
That first one sounds pretty OCD.
>>706898131
this is really an underrated thing
>>706898126
easy
always have two bags
>>706898151
>>706898151
I'm on a high dose medication
>>706897882
Timestamp
>>706898215
One bag with evens, one bag with odds, check mate
>>706897641
U can't be serious
I started wearing adult diaper briefs when going out around four years ago due to a deathly fear of using a public toilet. Most of the time I never use it but some times I just can't hold it and just let it go.
It's actually pretty thrilling taking a nice shit and piss in public, while nobody is none the wiser
when I wipe my ass i keep my hand as still as possible while i grind my ass against the tp in my hand
>>706898405
bro you cant make shit like that up its just too real
>>706898407
Are these real
>>706898485
now that is strange
you cant possibly get good coverage like that
fact: your ass is dirty as HELL
>>706897149
I do that, too.
I lay in the bathtub on rare occasion when I'm anxious. My bathroom is a comforting place for me in general.
>>706898407
doesnt it stink?
>>706898199
at least someone gets it. also chekd
>>706897149
My dad used to do that while it was full of dishes
I shit into my hand then drop it into the toilet.
I'm not sure why I've added this unnecessary step to the routine. I did it without thinking once, got a bit of a thrill out of it, and just like that it became habit.
I used to be kind of embarrassed about it, and I would overcompensate by washing my hands really thoroughly with tons of soap. But I found that through the course of my day when I shake hands with people (I do this a lot at my job) that I would get a secret thrill each time. Slowly I started using less soap until eventually I use none at all.
So that is my weird habit. I shit in my hand then rinse it off and continue my day!
>>706898557
You'd be surprised how many normal looking adults wear adult diapers man. Public bathrooms are fucking filthy. And the thought of someone hearing/smelling me taking a shit in a cold confined bathroom scares the hell out of me
>>706897882
why?
>>706897541
Thats gangster
>>706898700
God damnit 4chan I'm crying over here stop
>>706897641
But how do u become this far gone
>>706897541
>thinking this will stop the feds
mate..
>>706898699
goddamn. just god. damn.
>>706898231
I wash my hands 40+ times a day. I do weird things exactly like you describe with the light switch all day; from counting steps I take to counting my breathing...and even I don't fit the diagnostic criteria for ocd.
>>706898720
I'm Filipino so I have very little body hair, basically none. Except for the fucking hair on my large nipples. I'm self conscious about them so I started plucking them out when I was like 15. Now I do it because it's actually pretty enjoyable. Feels good man.
And I enjoy the smell of burnt hair
>>706898699
Ur spreading disease man
>>706898666
thanks, satan's dad
Every time one of my lighters runs out of fuel, I disassemble it and put the corresponding pieces in different jars, ie spring, flint, safety
I then take the little metal part and put it on my hat
when thinking about certain things, ill try to make the sentence have syllables in multiples of four or make it so that the letters add up into a multiple of four
>>706898699
the scary thing is that you're out there somewhere
and you could be anyone.
from now on ill be wondering if im shaking the guy's hand that shits into it first
I have to wash my hands 5 times. But i was them 6 times usually so i know that even if i forget to wash them 5 times, il always be covered by the initial extra wash. If i had to wash them 6 times then id have to wash them 7 times
>>706897149
love doing this. You need to run some water though or else it states to smell like shit lmao
Well. Holy shit.
>>706898117
I used to shitbin the shower and stomp on it just for the fuck of it.
Then one time there was a turd in my dads shower and I wonder if he did it too?
After i shit i shove my finger up my ass and swirl it around to scrape out any leftovers.
When i watch porn i switch between at least 20 different videos before i nut into an old popcorn tin some old lady gave me before she died
>>706898131
what are you a faggot or something?
>>706898988
Haha yea me too bro
Shave the shaft of my dick
>>706898867
This.
I love how a lot of these dudes think that software companies would operate outside the law.
The same companies also make ways for the FEDs to get around the shit when the law needs them too.
Its not like a lot of them have you back or something.
The FBI will just go to the person who made up the encryption software and be like " hey open this shit up " and they will be like okay.
>>706899094
no, i just like to relax and read my comics
>>706898887
I also take it for my bipolar but it helps the ocd as well to an extent
I used to count my steps and pluck out hair count them
And had really bad though loops I couldn't control where I needed to do certain things like walk in circles or repeat words or light switch thing or I thought the universe would collapse on itself
I'm getting better though
>>706898131
I do, too. I only stand when it's a public bathroom.
No matter where I am, or who's around me, I spit in the sink when I'm washing my hand. Every. Time.
When I go out to bars I bring a little pair of children's scissors and snip off small parts of girls hair. I only do it in really dark places. I've done it about ten times in the last couple months. Still haven't been caught yet
Most of the time I just do it for the lulz, but two times were from really hot girls that I kept for a couple days, smelling it while jerking off
>>706897541
Holy fuck that was annoying. And fuck you for being so shitty at gmask.
After an excessive or really at this point a minor farting fit, I have to go to the bathroom to wipe my ass to clean up the excess poo that'll just sit on my butt cheeks over night if I don't wipe it before I go to sleep. Every morning when I get out the shower I also wipe my ass for that excess poo that might be on my booty cheeks from a night of gas.
>>706898700
I'd rather use a public toilet or just hold it than shit in my own pants and walk around with a diaper full of it smearing all over my balls and asscheeks
What is wrong with you people
>>706899221
How much hair did u cut off and why children's
>>706899221
Off by one, but holy fuck
>>706899138
this but also the fact that if they believe theres something on their thats worth retrieving (which with that level of security there probably is) they wont stop just because it looks difficult to get into. theyll work on that shit until they get what they need.
>>706899246
what you call a "fart"
the rest of us call "shitting ourselves"
>>706899137
Also, when I'm done pissing I kinda pull up under / on the side of my balls to get any extra bit out
>>706899348
on there*
fuck.
>>706897216
It's an issue about balls, not dick. Not much shame in small balls though.
when mi alone...
>I say words like "goo-wwell-eeh-no-gah-eech-ahhdoooreeee"
>get a huge feeling of sucsess for being the only human in world to say that
>I stand in front of the mirror and verbally abuse myself
>i say horrible, cringe worthy things like "thats how the cookie crumbles" just to be a faggot
>i shit into my hands just to see what i couldn't digest
>i sometimes spunk on my own chest, let it dry, then pick apart the matted chest hair pubes
>when ever i am in someone elses house, i piss in the sink to mark my territory
I'm 45.
>>706898699
Domestic terrorism tbh
>>706899235
Look what else I have
>>706899167
Kickass,man, glad to hear you're getting better. Good luck in future treatment.
>>706899013
but.. you do wash them 6 times... so you have to wash them 7... so you have to wash them 8 times
>you have to wash them infinity times
>>706899314
Just small cuts, maybe like an inch off the end really quickly. A small enough amount that they probably won't notice
And I use children's scissors for safety duh. I don't want to poke myself while they're in my pocket or risk having her turn her head at the wrong moment and slicing off an ear or something.I'm not a psycho
>>706899396
My balls are huge and slight above average dick and nothing happens to me. :/
>>706899148
I think you wish you had a vagina and you're in denial.
i throw as many little pieces of trash and paper into girls purses as i can without them noticing
>>706899537
?
>>706899221
entering serial killer territory here anon
>>706899459
At least the image isn't fucked up because someone was too lazy to open gimp for 30 seconds
>>706899482
no because in my mind the 6th is not connectd to the 5. the 6th wash (well its the first wash) is an initial wash so i know that when i start my 5 washes i know that i have done atleast 5 washes even if ive forgotten one.
>>706899246
>farting fit
>excess poo
I don't think you know what farting is and what the fuck is a farting fit?
I clean my ass on the sink after every single time I take a shit. I hate wiping and knowing there still might be shit on my cheeks
I like to
Follow women home
After I spot them at a gas station
Or some public spot
And create journals about them and everything they do for months
I label them as W#1 OR W#6
Im up to W#49
I just started a few months ago
Usually the whorey ones are more fun
One day ill kill one
> but slowly
So she knows that being a whore was what caused her death
>>706899560
>getting this upset a person who just wants to relax
>>706899412
are phrases like "that's how the cookie crumbles"
really that bad? i literally say every tired ass turn of phrase there is becasue i find them endearing
>>706899695
This seems to be common. I can finally breathe.
I hold my shit in as long as my body allows me, which is pretty goddamn long. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. I truly enjoy the feeling of holding a giant shit back with my ass, it's euphoric. Here is a screenshot of my month of September, ever sunglasses emojy is a shit. I shit on average twice a week, I'm not even joking.
>>706899713
What state
>>706899713
doesn't everybody do this?
>>706899515
>cuts random strangers' hair without their knowledge
>I'm not a psycho
Pick one.
>>706899412
>goo-wwell-eeh-no-gah-eech-ahhdoooreeee
what does it mean
>>706899767
>i find them endearing
everyone hates you
>>706899795
Montana
>>706899815
Id be surprised if they did.
>>706897541
Nigga, youre doing it right
>>706896106
I rub my forehead lightly with something pointy like a pencil or something during school then I rub my forehead with my hand applying pressure.
It feels fucking amazing.
>>706899846
that youre a faggot
Never jack off anywhere but the shower, with soap.
>>706899774
I used to do this to man. I felt like I was training my ass sphincter muscles and my mental fortitude. The longest I ever made it was five days but I ended up shitting my pants at Jack in the box one day
>>706899412
if dubs goo-wwell-eeh-no-gah-eech-ahhdoooreeee is the new kek
>>706899600
Okay not THAT big. Like golf balls squished into ovals.
>>706899968
trying to reply to my own post
Shieeet
>>706899967
so close
>>706899967
So close, too.
Here, let me try. >>706900127
>>706899695
there are over a billion muslims dont use toilet paper... they squat down on the toilet and splash water from the toilet on their butthole
they flush after each splash
>>706899836
I don't see how cutting a few pieces of hair makes me a psycho. If they didn't want guys to smell their hair they wouldn't use such lovely smelling shampoos and shit
>>706896106
I wash my hands and face with toilet water
>>706897706
im with you on the volume thing...has to end in 0 or 5...otherwise all i think about is "it doesn't end in zero or five"...
>>706899412
Please fucking die
I give my brother blowjobs every time I fuck up a game of Overwatch and if I don't swallow, I have to pay a $20 fine
>>706899774
26th was a busy day for you anon
Look what I can do.
>>706900230
Check this out
>>706899713
Reporting to feds
>>706900184
I used to do exactly this with the microwave.
>>706900237
magnificent.
>>706900137
the fact that you dont see how it makes you a psycho is why you are a psycho
Every time I lock the door I check it 10 times, 10 more times and sometimes 2 after that. Adds to 22. Separating and adding those add to 4. Makes me feel good and satisfies my the twisted feelings I get in my stomach.
>>706900137
>insane people don't believe they are insane
>>706900177
why not sink water
>>706900420
This is my own post
>>706898231
do you start to have bad thoughts if you cant switch the lights or have an odd amount of m&ms and it feels like the world might end until you get a chance?
Lets try this again
>>706900450
>>706900373
Truly insane people also can't team
Up. Good for Hospital workers.
>like the smell of my unwashed dick
>smells pimples after popping them
>picks at scalp and smells fingers
>still eats my boogers, despite being 18
Do your worst
>>706900394
I personally enjoy the temperature and feel of the water
I came on my face like 30 minutes ago
>>706897451
Never heard of that one anon, pretty cool though
>>706897860
I kneel when you pee too
>>706900429
Not the m&m guy, I'm the bathroom and change jar guy. But yes I get bad thought loops if I don't flicker the lights or leave the bathroom light off. Sometimes I talk myself down but mostly I have to press down on the base of my neck really hard and suck on a penny to calm down
>>706900491
24 here. eat my boogers all the time
>>706898699
Spotted the Indian
>>706900491
I eat my boogers at 22. It helps with the immune system
>>706900491
Pretty much everything but smelling my scabs. I eat them.
I'm 20, get on my level.
>>706896106
holy fuck I always thought that nobody would be autistic enough to physically beat themselves when they do poorly in video games
I rationalize it through the adrenaline boost it gives you though
>>706900640
I'm appalled at myself for it but at the same time I can't stop
>>706900497
surely you can adjust the temperature of the sink
>>706896106
I shit naked. Have since I was a child, and still do as an adult. I really enjoy taking a good shit. Sitting on the toilet is relaxing, and I love being naked. I use to always get made fun of as a child for pooing without clothes, but fuck you - don't knock it till you try it.
I love fingering my asshole and then smelling it on my fingers.
>>706899713
This actually sounds awesome.. but im like too lazy and busy to ever make it happen... can you email me some of your shit? Ill hook you up.
[email protected]
>>706900665
Alright dude that's fucking gross
>>706900658
This is actually true
I'm almost never sick... in fact I can't remember the last time I was sick
>>706900740
>fbi bait
>>706899713
>"im killing you slowly now"
>"why are you doing this"
>"you know why!"
>"oh yeah because its not alright to be a whore"
Clever plan anon shell definetlly know why you did it
>>706898485
KEK
>imagery
>>706900640
35 my nigga
>>706900711
Why? If you do it in private what's the big deal? It's not harmful and its actually good for you... Bill Nye did a segment on the benefits of eating boogers on science guy, pretty sure he's a booger eater too
I hit myself or shake my head when i do bad in videogames, if I get really excited playing a console game I start jumping up and down
I'm kind of a furry and tried to jerk off one of my families horses once. I tried to get him hard for a few nervous minutes and ended up just fondling his flaccid cock before chickening out. My hand smelled awful afterwards.
Stuck a couple fingers inside one of the fillies once but got scared she would kick the shit out of me once I started teasing her asshole a bit
We sold our horses several years ago :(
>>706898699
You don't travel to Missouri do you?
>>706899774
You think an average of twice a week is abnormal? Man I eat normally like everyone else but can shit once a week with ease. I can even last more than one week actually.
Also, i wet the tips of my vingers to get more grip on the toilet paper when i shit.
>>706900718
so you take all of your clothes off every single time you take a shit?
>>706900740
>stalking and murdering women
>sounds awesome anon
oh /b/
>>706900770
Isn't it great? January 2015 I had a cold for maybe six days, and the last time I had the flu was four years ago. That's all I can remember.
I don't like to brag about it because I'm afraid of jinxing myself or something.
>>706898969
That has to drive you nuts sometimes. That's pretty compulsory anon
>>706900879
It's still gross to think about imo.
Also, I like popping blackheads and rolling them in between my fingers
>>706897641
Wow, i thought i was the only one who did that. I started feeding the roaches in my previous apartment, and trying to teach them how to recognize poisons, and how to stay alive.
Next would be teaching them how to do math and use computers.
>>706900934
Only at home obviously - but yeah. It's seriously really relaxing.
>>706900968
well you just did you dumbass faggot
Your basic person not only lets people know they don't approve. They tell them when they shouldn't.
I cry every time I listen to World at Large by modest mouse because it reminds me of a girlfriend I had throughout high-school that was super free spirited and loved traveling. I didn't like to leave the house because of anxiety and she left me over it eventually after 5 years. I can only stop crying when I draw a picture of a mushroom
Ive done this almost always once a day for the past 4 years
>>706899713
Fuck it post future evidence.
>timestamp
Lets see those logs anon
I think I'm the only one who's forced to be a furry.
I've been a Furry for 10 years now and want to stop. The problem is that the group of furs that I hang out with don't like me now and if I took my fursuit off, they would probably beat me up and kill me. My last boyfriend (a cute b/w wolf) gave me herpes on my ass and now I have a hard time taking a shit. Sometimes I have to take an Ex-lax so my shit will come out easy.
I've never had sex with a girl, because I don't know how to pick them up. That's why I turned Furry. But now I'm just tired of guys ripping my ass when they don't use lubrication. I've had to get stitches three times. I went out with a fox last night who said he only gives, he doesn't receive, so I had to suck his dick and he made me swallow or he would kick my ass.
>>706897451
have you tried hammering the needles into your balls? or maybe your funny bone?
When eating candies like Skittles I split the colors I have in my hand, eat the colors there are the most of and work my way down till ive eaten the remaining color I had the least of
>>706901070
why a mushroom?
>>706901051
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I'll have you know my name is Mc'Mick, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base's football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A's on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don't be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life
>>706901070
why a mushroom
>>706901111
Quads of sadness
>>706901111
Check'd
Just move
>>706896106
Put a finger in my mouth and pull against the back of my teeth, like I'm trying to press them out of my gums. The mild ache feels nice for some reason.
>>706901111
Topkek
>>706900713
But it's the same constant temperature, it saves a lot of effort.
Whenever I listen to a song, or even sometimes when I read short written phrases, I will count the syllables by multiples of four. I count with my fingers - excluding my thumb.
When the total syllables of a song or phrase are a multiple of four, I become euphoric and proceed to re-iterate the song or phrase dozens of times throughout the day, counting and re-counting the syllables.
>>706901111
Shitty b8/10
>>706896106
I have sex in the missionary position with the lights on.
>Solely for the purpose of procreation...
>>706901143
We did mushrooms when we went to the beach for the first time
Watching juno also helps
Fucking Abby. You got me fucked up
>>706899167
Interesting. I'm bipolar type 2.
I take Prozac and it kind of helps with everything...but even tonight I got caught up putting on deodorant. I counted an upswipe as a downswipe and got stuck in a loop for a few minutes.
>>706899713
Hey, i do that too but i just choose random people.
I also like throwing hard objects at panhandlers.
> once i had my slingshot set up and shot right into a panhandlers face at the traffic light.
>>706898606
The chilly surface of the tub is actually kinda comforting for me too. I've fallen asleep in the bathroom multiple times.
>>706901295
abby is a fat girls name anon dont worry she will let herself go
>>706899767
>>706899846
>>706899938
>>706900185
I don't just say it... i say it as loud and as in a fucked up cartoon voice as possible, repeatedly.
It doesn't have a meaning. It just means I'm first.
I can't die yet. I'm reasonably successful career wise with two kids and a wife. None of them know I do any of this. If I ever get heard, I just pretend I'm playing.
>>706900718
I do this when I can, because otherwise I just get hot enough in my clothes to sweat while I'm pushing out a shit. It's not even comfortable. Naked, I drop even the mightiest deuce/3/4ths of my colon in about 2-5 minutes, tops.
Shitting with a sweater on is bullshit. Shitting in the hot summer is bullshit. I'm in the bathroom- I'm going to get naked.
I also shit in a sort of stooping position. Originally, it was because the toilets were too small (and did not accommodate for a penis because a penis would hit the rim of the toilet bowl), but now it's just a habit. I forget what taking a shit sitting down feels like.
>>706899928
TOP KEK
>when i shit
>my dick touch the water
>>706901295
Eat more shrooms. Find someone better.
>>706896106
I eat skittles out of m&m packets it tastes better.
I am sexually attracted to large water birds.
One evening when it was really late I was walking around in the near by park. Barely anyone came to this park even during the day.
I saw this swan sleeping on the grassy area, no where near the lake. If you have ever seen a swan or a goose their bodies are very attractive (but swans faces are kind of ugly). I was looking at it's neck and wondering about the swans esophagus.
To make a long story short, I cut it's neck, almost cut it's head completely off but not quite. It died as I fucked it's esophagus. It's wings were flapping a lot which really turned me on because a swan has beautiful wings. I would squeeze on it's wings as they flapped, those wings were truly the best part. As it tried to breath the esophagus would tighten against my dick all while the blood was pumping out all over my dick and balls. The red blood was so good looking against the white feathers so I'm glad I decided to do it with a swan and not a goose (even though geese are more attractive in the face). I was completely naked for this and afterwards I washed off in the lake.
It's pretty much the most violently sexual thing I've ever done. I've NEVER been attracted to any other animal besides birds and that's only because of the shape of their wings. I find wings to be irresistibly arousing. It was so violent and exciting. Afterwards I felt so relived, like I had spent the day at a spa. All my muscles were relaxed and I was very chill.
>>706901111
You wasted these quads.....
Quit being a beta faggot
>take ice pick
>make threat
>proceed to stab any attacker
>claim rape
>?????
>profit
A blank threat may resolve your issue anon unless your the one instigating the vicious attack
Chances are your behavior is submissive by choice or betaness
Youll have to fight to change that
>my moto is i may not win but im going to fuck you up bad in the process of kicking my ass
>does seem like your bragging more than anything
>>706897541
What if I told you encryption software keep track of filenames / sizes. And alerts the feds if some or more of these appears within a vault.
Now burn your files.
>>706900491
literally me
>>706901304
I take 400mg lamictal and a moderate amount of lithium
I also take a small amount of adderall which oddly enough helps.you'd think it would like it worse but it lets me break really bad loops.
I've never done deodorant thing but I feel you with the loops, I'm sorry man:/
I secretly touch my penis to make myself orgasim.
>>706899138
And if you create a custom encryption method you're required to give a copy to the NSA if you plan on distributing it.
>unless you're me and don't respect the NSA tryhards.
>>706901588
I tried lamictal but I started getting a crazy rash and my skin felt like it was melting off.
>>706901501
Kek
>>706899412
The only things that are not okay are
>pooping in your hands habitually
>probably not washing up after the cum dries
>urinating in someone's sink
I am sad. Please... please consider not doing these things anymore. You have children.
>>706901357
Abigail, went by Abby tho. She was actually tiny and all the women in her family are as well
Funny enough, song just came on shuffle on spotify.
When i listen to certain songs i like i think about me doing a cover of the song on stage with loads of people watching with me nailing the guitar and singing and sometimes doing the drums. if its a song with strong backing vocals (which are sung by other main members of that band) i sometimes like to imagine me doing those aswell if i i prefer them. If its a duet song I like to imagine myself being one of them and a girl who used to sing alot back at school doing the other persons vocals. I wish i was good at singing or playing guitar to be able to fulfill this.
>>706901588
Do you have add?
I can't focus, but it's because of anxiety and depression. I wish I could read books for pleasure.
>>706901578
I wouldn't believe you. I've used truecrypt for over a decade, and all veracrypt sees is a 2TB file chilling on my external.
>>706899939
Can we see your ballz?
>>706901553
Boy i bet sesame street was a trip for you come here you big yellow fucking bird
>>706901553
im 12 and what is this
abuse and humiliate my gf by looking at her pic, my kik- dannybrown_321
>>706901588
Weirdly, I used to do the deodorant thing certain number for each side when I was a kid. Had to be that way. Eventually stopped. Didn't think about it until now.
>>706901162
Saved for reposting
>>706901687
you are the worst sickest kind of piece of shit motherfucker
i know this is a confessional type of thread and the anonymity might be sort of therapeutic, but fuck you man
FUCK YOU
>>706901553
>swans faces are kind of ugly
>geese are more attractive in the face
zozzle
>>706901708
Yeah my doctor warned me about the rash. I had to titrate 25mg every 2weeks as a precaution. It was a bitch
I love the smell of girls farts
Girls farts smell better than video games.
Seriously. You know that new game package smell? Like when you just took off the wrapping? My god, its a glorious smell. I've masturbated sniffing this smell so many times. It's great and the main reason I still buy games.
But my sister just farted on the couch next to me while I was playing Street Fighter IV. She blushed got up fanned her ass and ran to the bathroom to, I assume, shit or maybe she shit herself while she was next to me, there was some extra bulge in the back of her jeans. Now let me reiterate. She was sitting directly next to me. In effect, she farted on my side and then waved fart gas from her butt to my face. Now you fucking listen to me. This smelled glorious. I immediately became rock hard and didn't give a shit, I pulled my cock out and masturbated right there smelling my own sister fart. I didn't even care that I got beat by a scrub Ken while I was jerking off.
>>706901763
I wash after I've broken up the spunk flakes. I do wash my hands after... as for pissing in the sinks, sorry. Did it as a child. Will do it until the day I die I feel uncomfortable otherwise.
>>706901784
Not sure, the lamictal makes it so I can't focus on anything tho so the adderall helps a lot
I sucked dick once when and ever since I've been secretly craving it
Ever since that one time I blew the dude I also have gotten kinkier and kinkier until now I don't even get aroused unless I'm bound or if they're in some dominant positon
>>706901914
I do 3 on each side and one on my chest but it doesn't set me off if I forget to do the chest swipe
>>706901877
Its the story of your birth, completely normal.
Now run along to bed unless you are femanon
>>706898956
Pics of ur hat pls
>>706896106
>>If I am doing poorly in video games i'll hit myself repeatedly
literal autism
It's not really something that I do it's something that happens to me. I do not think this happens to anyone else I have not heard of it from any other.
Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.
It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my penis can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.
This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.
I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.
My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.
How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but penis farted?
>>706901867
Kek'd
I flap my arms around when I'm happy and going somewhere. Like just walking around work. I don't really realize I do it but I try to keep an eye out. I have gotten a lot of practice reading people and have gotten good enough to be able to nail exactly how they are, noticeably well apparently.
Most people don't notice it anymore but most people who have been around it can pick it up.
Watched some old home videos, and holy fuck. The signs are literally plastered all over me.
Didn't get a diagnosis until 7th grade because autism is rare in grills.
I still have a lot of issues picking up hints.
>>706899138
>>706899348
You guys have no clue of encryption techniques, have you?
>>706901867
big bird is not a water bird and he is not attractive with his legs and his bright yellow plumage
i like big water birds because of the majectic wings when they spread them or fly swans wings are the most attractive
>>706902204
6 each side. 3 up 3 down
>>706902326
this nigga dick whistles
>>706902539
Huh. I usually do 2 up 1 down each side I think
>>706901779
I do this too!
>>706899591
this is such a great idea but fingerprints
>>706902474
Are you a high functioning autist?
>>706899967
I was just in that thread
>>706901779
Same here! I also think about doing cool things with the music in the backround, like having superpowers.
>>706902326
That's weird, dude. Never heard of that. But, probably not a big deal to most girls.
>>706902661
I actually started shaving my pits so I don't waste so much deodorant
Should I call me ex? She dumped me 9 days ago. I apologized for being and ass and told her I loved her via text about 6 days ago. Never got a reply.
I save my jiz and put it in the lotion dispenser at work. I work with a lot of women I get off watching them rub my spunk on their hands.
>>706902474
when a girl starts flapping her arms around and he isnt ugly most guys will think its cute
>>706899367
God bless you I choked so hard on my water
>>706902326
>squeaky dick
>cutest and sexiest thing she's every seen
she lyin bruh
![leostrutoriginal[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/FzUl3h6.jpg "leostrutoriginal[1].jpg")
>>706902474
>>706900913
I poo two or three times a day and piss about five or six times a day
>>706902762
I just nearly completely leave reality and daydream if I can leave myself idle and listen to the music (still completely aware of my surroundings though).
Music really hits me, literally takes me places (in my mind). Probably a side effect of a couple afflictions I have. Still, I love it.
>>706898024
Do u have Ocd ?
I paid for clown college by whoring myself out as a clown.
>>706902661
Or should I wait it out and see if she contacts me/ move one. The ball is kind of in her court...
>>706900657
Topkek
>>706902710
Yes, but not originally. Not low enough to be considered a tad or anything, but low enough to have zero friends and even teachers being weirded out by me. It's gotten better, but it was a lot of work. I try to keep my real weird shit to a private thing
L.Lim
>>706902710
Yes, but not originally. Used to be way worse, like even the teachers didn't want to deal with me because I was too weird and annoying for them. It's much better now, I try to keep my shit private.
Like the music thing, with super powers I posted up in reply
I like to voice over every video game I play and pretend to be those characters.
I like to do hand gestures whenever there is something epic happening in a video game like an explosion or whatever.
I'm straight, but I'm bisexual because I love my penis and jack off to videos of myself jacking off. If that makes me gay idk because I love myself so much and I naturally have a huge ego because I am good looking.
FUck I think I'm a sociopath sometimes.
Sorry, I'm on mobile. Though my comment was reset when I clicked back on accident.
>>706903058
broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years about 2 weeks ago. eventually we got to the point where we couldnt stay friends and i sent her a bitchy message saying her new boyfriend would cheat on her and she has nothing else going for her so when he leaves her she'll live a shitty worthless life all alone. it was pretty brutal. i then sent her a message saying i was sorry for how bitchy it was and i felt abit shit afterwards. later on that same day i sent another bitchy message and also told her i was gonna ruin her life and told her that she should expect something bad to happen (it wont). I feel good because i got it both ways.
>>706897149
I love doing this
>>706902840
I've gotten that a lot from co-workers but it makes me feel like an absolute fucking idiot.
>>706902792
In my opinion if you really do love her, yes of course.Don't make a mistake and mourn over it for years like me kek
>>706901779
Im doing this right now
>>706903251
you jack off to videos of yourself jacking off?
in the video of you jacking off are you jacking off to a video of you jacking off?
>>706897149
my sides
>>706903251
Do you ever jack off to videos of you jacking off to a video of you jacking off? How many layers of recursion deep does this autophilia go?
Also
>I'm straight, but I'm bisexual
>>706902917
I take walks at night and start doing it. I don't like walking during the day, there's too many people outside and I can't really get comfortable.
>>706901285
You monster.
Get out.
>>706901490
Stop shitting in the bathtub.
>>706896106
>Things you think only you do
Tell /b/ the truth
>>706903395
Yeah/ but she dumped me and ignored my texts/calls in the three days immediately after.
I love her, but I don't want to come across as harassing or desperate.
I told her I'd love her forever and said what I needed to say...but now I'm wondering if I should continue trying to make contact or just move on...
I teach myself how to play instruments by ear, but i can't sing
>>706897706
>only allow tv/stereo volume to be on even numbers
I do that. Too. If it's not even, it bugs me.
>>706900657
Fuck i lost to this
I never wipe my ass so I can pick away the shit after it dries. I also smell the shit when I press it on my fingers.
I talk shit and dance while looking at myself in the mirror.
I take baths in my clothes.
I have no idea why.
I motivate myself in my head if Im doing bad kn a video game.
I have inly jacked off using my hands like 3 times. I normally find a soft blanket and grind on it back n forth until I cum.
>>706903610
Try it in a couple days. If not, it's probably over :(
>>706901295
every abby is a cunt
>>706896106
>scratch and pull the center of my scrotum between my balls.
>really love to dig at the center of my finger tips. especially when i'm trying not to show how i feel about the current situation.
>when i'm driving alone, i say crazy things. like tourette things. like "NIGGER-TOUNGUE-MY-ANUS" or "SHIT-FUCK-ASS-COCK" or "FUCKING-SHIT-OUT-MY-ASSHOLE" just for not reason other than remembering something i did that day that feels slightly embarrassing.
>>706903727
True
>>706903683
>talk shit and dance while looking in the mirror
this is REALLY weird, for some reason its just really fucking strange
>>706903696
Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. The relationship was super rocky. I'd be happy to have her back, but also ok with moving on...
>>706897216
Dr. Phil does this all the time. I use to do it all the time until I was forced not to by my brother because "it's gay"
>>706900570
lol
>>706901553
crisp and refreshing pasta there anon truely
>>706903449
>>706903503
>we need to go deeper
>>706903508
I also prefer to walk and go out almost exclusively at night. Too many people during the day.
>>706903610
>>706903610
Hmmm. Not sure anon. Maybe give it a couple days and send a few texts
I call my cat a nigger when he bites me
Every time I paste something I've copied, I select a random few letters and copy them.
I notice every license plate around me all the time, then basically always forget every single one of them.
I put a few bits of toilet paper between my dick and the toilet seat.
I check under the toilet seat for spiders, but only after I've sat down.
I compulsively pull my food apart and eat it bit by bit.
I take spaghetti noodles and tie them around my dick and try and get them off my dick.
I can suck the tip of my own dick. Also tongue is long enough to get rest of noodles at the bottom of my dick.
I do this about 3 -4 times a week.
>>706904019
I call anything that bites me a nigger, even niggers
>>706904019
stop doing stuff that makes your cat bite you, you silly cunt
>>706898699
I hope you get aids
i have to synchronise all shit... -.-
if its possible left side have to look the same as right side... If its impossible its okay but if its possible i can doing shit for hours only to synchronise it... (Example playing 2 days in minecraft just do dig a mountain away that makes my house not look synchro and for fucking what!?!?!?)
>>706903766
seriously, does no one else do this? i yell out shit while driving alone all the time. especially when i remember an embarrassing moment at work.
Im a cop in a small town full of mostly blacks (white female here) and constantly pull over old black men in an attempt to suck a old black cock. I have done it twice and have started to notice older men purposely run red lights tp get me to pull them.
I love sucking limp dick. And sometimes their dick is dry enough so I have a little game where I try to get them wet as fast as possible.
>>706904253
I do this too, playing Sims with my girlfriend makes me angry because she doesn't give two shits about symmetry
>>706904253
yea but in minecraft things have to be symmetrical because if they are not then you are a piece of shit loser who needs to play with mud or something because minecraft is for architectural type minds and if not then whats the point after all it is mineCRAFT it is a craft
When I take a shower I clean the inside of my asshole by putting soap on my finger and then fingering my hole.
>>706904625
You're gay
I rip out my pubic hairs in small handfuls. I also do that to my other body hair.
I brush through my hair with my fingers and pull those out too occasionally when stressed.
>>706904418
Disgusting
>>706904711
why don't you trim then shave?
why don't you take your stress out on your fingers instead of your hair?
>>706904418
Holy shit that's hot, you must be pretty ugly to hoe yourself like that on the job though
>>706904675
At least my ass is clean
>>706898606
I used to lay in the shower for hours on end up to my longest time of 3 days in the shower.
>>706904418
this never happened.
>>706904891
continously? like you didnt get up not one time?
>>706904901
You never happened you fucking faggot go drink bleach and kill urself dude xD
>>706899713
This pasta smells like day old farts
I pull out my facial hair one by one when I'm bored
i don't blow my nose.
i twist tp into a tube and ram it up my nose and slowly pull out foot long strings of snot and boogers
>>706905080
ur so TOTALLY right! xD
>>706902676
Wtf do you really think the police will dedicate time and resources to something that isnt even technically a crime?
Forgot.
Does anyone else get fucking obsessed with different series? I've pretty much been into Pokémon my whole life, drawing in class, used to pretend I was one when I was little. It gets to the point you squeeze every last drop you can out of whatever you are into.
1. Whenever i shit i have a huge urge to have a bath
2. Whenever i have a bath i peel my foreskin back place my thumb on the bottom of my head and pull the skin back over it multiple times
3. Whenever I'm at school i throw as much rubbiah into the nin during class as possible
>>706900718
Me, and i do it in public too. Once, when i was in a truck stop bathroom, some nigger reached over the stall for the hook (to steal my jacket i can only assume) and he got a handful of sweaty trucker underwear. He was gagging,.dropped them and ran outside
>>706905449
>rubbiah into the nin
wut?
>>706905839
kek
