Floridafag thread
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Floridafag thread
>>706844803
Hey 386 here we got the fuck outta dodge, currently on I19 goin up to Panama city area
Clearwater checking in. No rain started here yet just cloudy and a bit windy.
>>706844803
Give us the blow by blow. Waiting patiently
>everyone going norht and west
>storm shifts to hit them while they run
>i locked up house and went south
>in ft myers enjoying good weather
>only a little rain
>so little traffic made trip easy
i could of stayed home but why stay where i might lose power rather than just have a paid vacation for a few days then come back
561 checking in
Captcha police road
>>706844803
jacksonville here. Hope everyone stays safe
>>706844803
orlando reporting in - 49 openings at the Pulse shelter
>>706846565
Bahahaha I'm going to hell, I laughed way too hard at that
>>706844803
Anyone know how hard the North Central, Alachua County area is supposed to get hit?
>>706847282
Like me hittin' your mom's ass.
>So, pretty hard
305 here. Just a little rain and some wind. God speed to anyone north of here.
Tampa checking in - nothing but a drizzle
>>706844803
Orlando 407 master race checking in. Just heavy rains. Drove on the highway, specifically 408 from UCF to Windermere area. FREE TOLLS N SAFE GROUNDS
>>706844803
Miami reporting in, not to bad more fluff and hype, were having a house party right now and I just got my dick clean by a sissy tonight is cash
>>706849193
Bonus points if his name was Matthew
>>706846565
That club is pretty cash man, 100% chance to get some premium boipussy
>>706846231
>Jville
Good luck to guys, it's going to get ugly
>>706847819
She dead bro
>>706849370
Lol wasnt mathew but that is funny
>>706845856
Clearwater too, winds picking up, nice sunset
561 here, just rain. Shit had me hyped up and now I'm disappointed.
>>706849714
Eh go on Grindr and find some cock I am, what else is there to do
>>706844803
There's gonna be nobody left to save you when the clowns come for you tonight.
>>706844803
Ft. Lauderdale here. We're getting outerbands, but it's ok rn. Gonna get worse tonight tho, heck.
Anybody who didn't evacuate report in
Also tell us if you have sufficient water, batteries and food
Bonus points for live streaming on Periscope w/ your phone
Found a Miami cam so we can watch
earthcam DOT com , search Miami
>>706848960
Orlando here to jack shit is happening, I might go to a bar as long as its not filled with traps and fags
sittin' waitin' for something to happen
Gkod riddance. One can only hope the hurricane destroys Florida with 140+ mph winds and towering waves of sea water. We would be better off as a country if the entire state of Florida was submerged.
>>706850213
Go baby go!
Does anyone have a pic of that hurricane thats shaped like a dong?
>>706849923
don't have enough food for a week, maybe 4 days. Not in evacuation zone but still pretty scary.
Jacksonville here, but not gonna stream. Going to need my battery life on my cell.
Ft. Lauderdale..we dodged a bullet
>>706850660
I didn't prep but if shit hits the fan I'll just take what I want from sissy betas like you
>>706844803
321fag here, Melbourne report in!!!
Just a bit west of Port Canaveral checking in.
Wunderground predictions are about 96 mph for my house at 6am.
RIP me
It's picking up speed 140mph+; should make landfall at 02:00..this is going to be epic
>>706844803
Floridafags ditched the MAGA hats after the debates. Keep up, anon.
Who gets killed by wind?
Give me a break.
954 here. only a little bit of rain and random gusts of winds
Orlando/Davenport here. We got a fuckload of water and I have a stone and steel panic room just in case, I'm gonna play Skyrim on my 360 and wait for this all to blow over.
I'm pretty scared, honestly.
Guys remember Florida is a stand your ground state so just shoot at the hurricane
>>706849923
Miami isn't really getting shit. I'm north 954 and it hasn't been too bad but supposed to pick up a bit more in the next few hours. Another hour drive north and it would be way worse.
jacksonville here
not even that much rain yet
my district hasn't been evacuated
>>706850873
Also 321, Palm Bay here.
We will die together, anon. Maybe in 4chan heaven /b/ won't be shit.
>>706844803
flo rida is my shit nigga
>>706851116
nah storm surge pushes bullets back in
>>706851008
Apparently Floridians do.
>>706851008
It ain't the wind that kills you.
It's the debris the wind is throwing at you that kills you.
Alternatively, its the wind that breaks down the infrastructure and makes the power, water, and public services go out, and you die that way.
>>706850131
jealous nigger detected
Clearwater still here. Nothing happening at all really. Typical news hype.
>>706850910
Follow up, I think I have enough provisions for a week or so. Hopefully we dont stay dead much longer after that or I may be in trouble.
Very good possibility my house windows get destroyed (its a rental so I can't board it up and the leasing agency didnt secure it).
Honestly kinda wish I had evacuated
>>706846007
>look at me I is smartest
No one cares faggot
>>706851260
Pff.
>>706851194
Palm Bay can go for sure, you nignogs are fucked
>>706850838
good luck bitch.
Gainesville reporting in; nothing yet just some wind and rain. Waiting for the big one.
863 polk county, nothing but light rain an dense clouds
>>706846231
I live in jacksonville too. I'm actually about 10 miles away from the beach. Experiencing rain but it's not dropping that hard. Wind is ok for now
>>706851260
Actually it is the Haitians and other islanders. They are some of the dumbest people ever. It's like if you combined niggers and slavs. And they complain about everything as much as sandniggers and jews.
>>706851293
That's what I'm hoping this all is, it's just media scare tactics. Jews doing 9/11 and all that.
But fuck man, it works. I just worry about me and my dog. Love my little guy.
>>706851154
the news is making it seem like its going to be worse than katrina. But seems like a lot of people aren't buying it here.
checked out the trailer park on US1 earlier for some good before-the-destruction shots, mostly a duck meeting though, fucking duckmoot to decide their fate
>>706851447
POLK COUNTY NIGGA, nah you probably are a nigger or a fucking spic.
>>706851429
I'm in Ocala. /b/ro we're safe. Middle of the state n shit. Normal night for me. Should be for you too.
>>706844803
everyone needs to get out! theyre gonna set off an atomic bomb in the water to flood florida and remove it from the map
>>706851488
Muh doggo was out scoping it earlier today when the wind was picking up but no rain yet
>>706851462
im in jax 10 miles from the beach too. Getting ready to have my windows blown out and roof blow off tomorrow night. Could have left but I didn't want to miss this.
>>706851672
rip the 6000000 jews who will die
>>706851672
Good, I embrace oblivion. Let it all end.
>>706851462
i live about 40 minutes from the beach. No rain at all. Light winds.
>>706851462
imma see how far i can get in fallout 4 before the power goes out.
storm surge in Satellite Beach was past high tide around 1 today already, cant wait to scuba dive to the ruins of my former HS!
The car washes are closed right now.
>>706851922
topkek
>>706851902
I'm right on the Intercoastal in north 954 and we got lucky. If the storm was 50mi further south, maybe a lil more, they would be telling us to gtfo.
>>706848960
Celebration Florida here
It's just rained on and off that's about it
>>706851761
>>706851809
>>706851887
Sometimes I wonder if I/we are too crazy for our own good. After the last "major tropical storm" I just want to experience being in one.
lol im on east coast ready 2 get fucked. any 941 here?
JUST A REMINDER
FL has the largest percentage of homosexuals in North America, nothing will be lost here guys
>>706851116
Hurricane lives matter >>706851116
hey just warning what i just heard about the storm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9994nv8BcU
Looks like we're fucked.
>>706852186
only half of /b/ users
>>706852164
Nope and you guys are fucking scum
>>706851640
Hell nah, I drive a ford raptor motherfucker. You're probably a east side Bartow nigger. faggot
>>706852186
I'm actually pretty tolerant of gays and lesbians.
It's the fags I hate.
>>706848960
Alabama here
>Tolls
hahahahaha
>>706852186
Don't hate bitch, if I want to fuck a trap then ima go fuck traps
>>706852500
You can call.me a faggot, a nigger, a jew, you can even call.me a faggot nigger jew, but don't you fucking DARE say I'm from Bartow.
lololololololololololololol
I hope this storm destroys OBT.
I just moved out of Polk County a few weeks ago. Florida is terrible enough without the hurricanes.
>>706852651
Bama here too what the fuck
>>706846100
nice dubs
561 also
>>706852751
You are still a faggot, how much cock did you suck before leaving
some florida fag should start a periscope stream
GA lurkin
Florifag here - Key Largo - I think I'm going to die
>>706848737
813 also. dry as fuck here
internets been shitty all day
at least i downloaded a lot of porn and studio ghibli movies
Riding this out in north brevard. Right in the danger zone
Clearwater still here. Rain just starting
>>706852876
I started sucking cock when I moved to a different state.
The difference is that my mother accepted that I was into men as well and I didn't have to be closeted like yourself.
>>706852926
I could do a stream but it will be me drunk jerking my cock?
Miami here.
We've gotten nothing but a bit of rain.
>>706852981
That's what you get for living in the keys.
Real talk, though, if it's gonna be the end for me, I can't think of a better way to spend it than playing Skyrim and chatting with you faggots. May we all be safe.
>>706853160
dont die anon
i will miss you
>>706852500
I do flight training at Bartow airport!
561 here. Power already out. Hella windy and some slight rain.
>>706853160
how's it there? i have no idea how I still have internet
might be over soon though
>>706853031
Dif anon but I just fucked a dude up the ass in Orlando off Grindr nothing to hide her bro
>>706853329
what does that 3 digit thing mean
East of Alachua Co & gville. Cat strength winds where I'll be ain't shit
Going to go into work tomorrow, check the generators & equipment, run a half day, then go cook burgers and get drunk as fuck while the storm turns around and stalls out over us later next week.
Thank fuck I don't live in a flood prone area
>>706853376
I'm in central, Davenport. We've had rain, and my front yard is basically a swamp, but no complaints yet.
anybody in brandon/tampa? i thought we were supposed to get hit but its calm here. still have power
One of you dumb FL cucks start taking pictures and update us, you guys are a bunch of faggots
239 Naples richfag herrr...nothing to report, if you didn't know there was a hurricane you wouldn't notice.
Me and my millions are dissapoint
>>706853653
its dark out you dumb fuck, what do you want pictures of
>>706853432
Are you a foreigner?
>>706853653
It's calm you nigger nothing to loot yet
is key west safe?
watched
http://www.liveduvalstreet.com/
and no one gives a fuck
put up some pics you floridafags while I sit here in NY kekin and appreciate the cold front that prevents this faggot hurricane from ass fucking us as it is ass fucking you.
>>706853752
i live in jacksonville, florida
im just stupid
seriously what does that thing mean before i drown
>>706853732
I dont give a shit start posting M8
>>706853812
Based anon, pics of looting when it happens
>>706853922
its called an area code, shitforbrains
>>706849519
and your point?
>>706853862
There you go. Happy?
>>706853732
Dif anon here post butthole or shlong
>>706854032
cool is that from under the ruble of your hovel?
>>706853922
Wow... Calling you stupid would be an understatement.
Brit Fag here, tis but a drizzle. A Saturday morning after going down for a pint leaves me with worse weather if I do say so mysef
Alachua County here. There is nothing to take pics of. It's just been real cloudy the past couple days
>>706846007
im in fort myers as well. was basically sunny all day lol
not even raining rn
>>706853862
>durrr im from NY
So, like everyone fucking else that lives down here? Stay in your shitty aids infested fuckhole of a city you smelly Puerto Rican beaner. Nobody fucking wants you here.
>>706854032
We didn't ask for pics of Haiti
>>706854184
I'm hoping we get a few tornadoes to take out some animal-fuckers here & in the surrounding counties
>>706854032
This is what I came to see
>>706853861
Didn't even close schools down here. The only hurricane around here comes in a glass
Hey do you guys know if Port Saint Lucy is okay?
One of my friends lives there and I'm getting kinda worried.
>>706854099
tempting. seduce me
>>706845639
im in 386 standing my ground
Tampa fag here. Pretty windy, kind of rainy....
>>706854374
One of my home boys stay there. They gettin it as much as I am I'd assume.
>>706854202
awwww is your butt hurting from Matthew ramming it??
Hurrrrr I live in Florida. Aa place that gets hit by hurricanes like a dumb wife getting hit by a drunk husband.
But I live in a dwelling made of shit materials.
durrrrrrrr
>>706846231
julington creek is already flooding pretty bad
>>706851116
Kekd
>>706844803
I hope you all die violent deaths
>>706849923
Delray.
Maybe have enough supplies. Hopefully;.
>>706851116
>>706854342
I wouldn't know anything about any animal fuckers I've only lived here a couple of months lmao. But ig if you were into bestiality, Alachua would be the place to be
>>706849923
i didnt evacuate. im 1/4 mile from the river in 386 and it looks like im gna get fuckin hammered. i cant do periscope bc data speed limited.
>>706854686
Homes in Florida are built to higher standards because of hurricanes. If you're going to shit post you might as well be accurate
>>706850131
HAHAHAHA
haters gon hate.
florida's the best state by far
>>706850873
Yo dude Post Road and Wickham here
>>706855331
The finest trailers in all the land
>>706855454
lived here my whole life. and i couldnt disagree with you more. fl sucks SO much ass.
>>706852719
>>706853862
North 954. This morning it looked like we were gonna get hit bretty gud but not so much anymore.
>>706855331
derp
>>706854934
It's bigger in rural hick counties
One of my co-workers swears that one city in another counties nearby is nothing but super inbred nigs and animal fucking hicks
>>706845898
ucf
>>706855897
It isn't done yet. It's supposed to grow overnight and make landfall in the early AM.
stay safe my dudes
if you guys get some tornadoes, live that shit so we can see you die
386 here, been in more hurricane than I can remember. Stopped getting worked out about them years ago.
Are New Yorkers still mad at us from last time?
Where is it supposed to hit the hardest?
>>706856666
you tell me satan
>>706844803
Homestead here no rain barely any wind stay safe
>>706856666
in hell
>>706855929
>reply with any picture of tornado damage in the Midwest
Hurrrr see I proved my point, checkmate atheists
Here in Puerto Rico we are not fucking idiots and we make our houses out of cement
>>706856666
>>706856770
Look at the guts of those house/huts.
You fuckers do not even have 2x4s in them .
Also Florida: A state where people live in mobile homes and then don't go anywhere when a fucking hurricane is coming.
earthcam DOT com
/ usa / florida / miamiandthebeaches / ? cam = miami beach 5
best view i found
Satan here, no more room cause of all the middle easterns. Gonna talk to Jesus and see if he can make it change directions in a bit.
orlando here, but moms is in palm bay. so ive been watching it kinda closely.
>>706856243
For the northern part of the state, yeah. The worst part for me is supposed to be the next 3 hours or so. The eye is already passing north of WPB
>>706857275
As long as she stays in the kitchen she will be fine faggot
>>706857067
it's just shaking with those lights
954 fag here, near miss, if youre about to leave florida, please head west and dont be an idiot
>>706857562
wrong person
>>706856666
Chequed.
>>706857514
It's the safest place in the house for a woman.
>>706857678
Kek
>>706845639
>>706854421
386 went to jax i live on the water so hoping house is still there
>>706848960
Ayyy 407 by ucf here... hunkering down at my dad's. Only heavy rain here and there so far
I'm in 386, maybe 2 miles from the beach. Looking to get absolutely slammed around 6am. Actually looking forward to this. Gonna Pax and fuck my wife.
Western part of orlando here, shitting myself pretty bad
>>706849844
Kills yourself fagget
>>706851462
rip was nice knowing you anon
>>706857842
Hope you got insurance fag
>>706857275
Your mom is going to die around 0330 anon I'm sorry
>>706859392
I die so you can live anon
Wind gusts finally picking up here on the north end of 954...
Have fun all you people up north. Although Florida is complete shit anywhere but the Atlantic coast south of Boca Raton so you already fukt.
561 here, somewhat heavy rain and wind. Not bad all though, I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll probably be sunny knowing Florida
>>706859693
>implying you'll even have a house tomorrow
Tampa fag checking in. Raining but nothing horrible.
>>706844803
vero beach here. in a wooden house with wooden shutters
rip
561 and just wind with slight rain still got power
>>706860021
Sheeeit
>>706859867
99.9% positive I will.. It could be worse in Vero/Sebastian tomorrow but the worst has already passed in the islands imo.
So what's it looking like right now?
Will we get a lot of dead Americans?
>>706860021
Got damn. Sincerely hope you stay safe bruh. Godspeed.
>>706860021
consider evac, srsly
>>706860300
Not likely.
Best we can hope for is some idiot going surfing.
>>706860021
Thank god you got the shutters up..
>>706851000
Checked
>>706860506
Or non-evacuating blacks/minorities.
Had an ex who had a lot of family as cops. My favorite was the guy that jumped into flood waters after he got chased out of an evacuated rich subdivision. Gun battle, cracked out dude in just boxers, crazy shit done to the houses broken into...
>>706860021
stay safe anon
>>706853687
where you located?
Near park?
haven't been through a hurricane in almost 10 years, now we've got a category 4 hurricane that can sink our great state into the ocean
fuck
>>706844803
Bois. The worst is over. This Hurricane sucked dick. Got us all worked up for nothing.
is it getting bad in Miami. I think the south beach webcam went offline
>>706862303
It hasn't
even
begun
>>706862356
What? I'm in Miami, shit is weak sauce. Wind and some drizzle.
>>706848960
Ay. 407 by the airport here. Heavy rain and some wind. I expect more later on. Would I be right?
407 kissimmee here. I sat through Charley and I'm gonna sit through this punk ass. Ain't no hurricane gonna make me it's bitch and make me leave.
ice_poseidon on twitch is streaming from palm beach
>>706848960
407
East Colonial and Forsyth
i thought i'd at least get a good storm thrown to me over in Fort Myers
not even fucking raining right now I don't think
>>706862612
Tits or dick or gtfo
>>706862612
damn guess it's supposed to kick off later then
>>706855929
>post picture of shitty mobile homes
Yeah not everybody is so poor they live in a mobile home. In fact most of us aren't that poor, the majority of building here are cinderblock/concrete structures. My house is built with poured concrete, I'm fucking fine.
>>706862303
This. Not even hitting Broward. They also fucking called me into work tomorrow, was looking forward to the long weekend but not anymore.
>>706860021
M A D M A N
A
D
M
A
N
>>706863333
Checked
>>706860021
Only person ITT who is legitimately in danger
http://youtu.be/QYaH5nU1Ls0
>>706862303
its coming back isnt it?
>>706863641
Sustained 150 mph winds predicted. He's fucked
>>706863783
Hasn't hit yet
>>706850873
321, Satellite beach. Got my surfboard ready
>>706851116
where's that spanish kraut when you need him?
>>706863547
second time i got quads in this thread. got 6666 too
>>706863530
nothing ever happens in broward
>>706846231
>Jacksonville
The criminals will get you well before any storm, bro.
Sincerely, Gainesvillefag
>>706850873
Cocoa beach reportin
>>706859399
>>706863147
That's not a real cat.
Branford fag reporting in, currently at work in lake shitty and awaiting the oncoming storm. Cant fukken wait though, it'll probably only be a little bit of rsin and thunder at my house
>>706849450
I heard they have multiple holes to fill ;)
>>706848960
Goldenrod and Curry Ford reporting in. Ya'll know this ain't even here yet
>>706864129
I fucked your mom in broward
>>706848960
407, Goldenrod near E Colonial end
Same story but bracing for the 4am cummies matthew senpai will prob be blasting all over us later
Dude just.. drive to Homestead and dodge it. Or the keys..
Miami here
>>706864913
broward bitches are ugly though
twitch / ice_poseidon for live stream
>>706845856
Clearwater as well live on the beach
>>706860021
Vero beach here too shutters are up but house is old. Stay safe!
>>706844803
Duval checking in. Hang onto y'alls dicks.
Almost theeere!!!!
Dude, why don't you guys just drive to the keys? Biscayne blvd. is empty as shit.
![20161006_221357[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/vhjVyCE.jpg "20161006_221357[1].jpg")
Other than strong winds, nothing else is really happening in Ft. Lauderdale. Made an attempt to take a picture from my window.
>>706866826
are you going to sleep or just stay up?
Volusia fag here, ship's picking up. Lighting flashes but takes about 16 seconds to sound off. Powers already out and am stuck with annoying af relatives. Wut do?
>>706867505
Enjoy the Giygas
>>706868418
get off 4chan turn your phone off and conserve battery if shtf
>>706868211
youll be fine, FL gets hit alot man. been through 3 hurricanes in FL and not even lose power/water.
>>706862976
My nigga. Used to live in BVL.
>>706846007
ayee 239 nfm here
605 fag here hope you cucks are ok. We are lucky rain and 42 degrees. Godspeed Florida fags
>>706868211
is it dark because of hurricane night time or shitty camera
727 master race reporting in
Melbourne Fl 321 checking in, ground zero for landfall when it makes it in a few hours
>>706868418
>>706868418
smoke weed in another room while posting on /b/ like me
>>706853862
remember in 2012 a hurricane was slated to hit the south then moved up north and all your guys' shit was fucked up for several months just because of a little flooding
352 Ocala here.
>>706844803
I'm worried about this.
I'm a brit and my closest friend of 19+ years has family there on holiday. Me him and some other pals live together and this is the first time any of us have had anyone close to us in a situation like this, idk if it's normal in America, but if it is, you people have some fucking balls because i'm honestly anxious af and i'm in no danger at all. Don't even wanna know how my pal feels right now.
>>706869597
Both. Mainly night time hurricane.
>>706870006
It's pretty typical if you live there.
>>706870006
america in general has plenty of deadly weather events like tornadoes, but hurricanes have been very rare lately.
813 just breezy as shit
Orlando here. Just a bunch of rain, little wind. Shouldn't be around here till 2 pm right?
>>706850873
>>706855520
Got any eghs nudes? Lol
>>706851008
i think you are forgetting the fact that
IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING TORNADO.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVTrKsjHlSw
do you fucking retards need to be reminded of oklahoma?
also inb4 "next ur guna say water can kill us HUR DUR"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi-NV4P0P54
new orleans anyone? that was ALSO a hurricane as well.
>>706864161
Go gators, I'm an orlandofag
>>706844803
'Murica's wang is getting blown again.
>>706861008
kek
>>706848737
>>706852996
What part of Tampa? I'm carrolwood/forest hills
352 checking in. Only rain nothing bad.
>>706869674
>>706871436
oh yeah, i forgot about that!
everyone is forgetting about NYC subway being completely flooded i guess?
>>706872038
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0l-SPmiCpE
yeaahhh, guess all'y'all niggas forget about that shit real quick huh?
>>706850131
Must be some cali fag enjoy your toxic air and earthquakes.
Florida will rise again
This guy is live streaming right now walking around outside
https://www.periscope.tv/w/asWxhzFXTEVSZXhZYWdQamJ8MWt2SnBWTXFaZERLReRyL3Q6GAe1mSyOnVuvPiaHjgKIduy4ucuNCvZyHDTs
You can watch without an account but you need an account to chat
Waiting for this guy to get hit by lightning
Port Orange here
bugged out to jacksonville but left the mobile home im living in
Hoping its there when i get back
Tampa
Posting a Tampa slut
>>706872332
i'mma sit down and watch this nig-nog for a bit out of pure curiousity.
>>706851116
Hide under your trailers and vote for Trump.
>>706851665
What's good Ocala anon party at cowboys tomorrow
>>706871518
Yeah, by Matthew..
>>706872578
904 here, got plenty of water and weed
>>706851902
Let's hope for some good salvage dives my boat could use a newer OB
>>706853047
It's about time.
JACKSONVILLE here it's all hype everything will be gucci <3
It's starting to rev up here in 386. About to get baked and ride this bitch.
