What would you do if a dog attacks you?
It's a serious question I was asking myself for a while now.
Let's say you are unarmed.
I'd probably think about cutting his eyes out or something, Maybe that would stop a raging dog.
>>706609598
>lets say youre unarmed
>cut their eyes out
Kill this thread
>>706609725
not with a knife, i dont know how to say that in english... picking his eyes out with my fingers.. you know
>>706609811
ive also thought about what I would do in that situation.
Mean dogs give 0 fucks when they are in attack mode, anon.
I think it would keep biting you and would let u go even if he had his both eyes out.
What i would do is strangle it, while i pick it up and then slam its head against concrete.
Keep doing that til dogo is kill.
You for sure are still going to get bit as fuck, but in a life or death situation with no weapons, i think its the way to go.
Punch it in the throat right behind it's jaw or right below it's ear.
>>706609598
Stick your finger up its ass
>>706610296
meant to say "wouldnt let u go"
>>706609811
To gouge their eyes out with your fingers would probably stop a dog. In reality blunt force to the nose, or stomach would probably release whatever grip they have on you. I know for lion attacks you're supposed to stick the length of your arm down their throat, maybe it'd work for a dog too.
>>706610296
ok interesting, but i once read that dogs have a very strong headskull so it wouldnt help maybe, but I'm not sure
>>706609598
knowing dogs id grab its lump in its throat. squeezing it hard for only 10 seconds makes a dog pass out, basically as effective as putting a dog in a sleeper hold.
I would shove my fist down it's throat and I mean really shove it in there until I can grab something
Anons, do you want to know the fastest way to kill a dog?
>>706609598
The trick to killing a raging dog is to sacrifice your arm. When it's latched onto your arm, lift your arm up and you can punch or knee it's stomach and chest.
You know how monkeys and niggers have survived so long?
Go for the dog's testicles, eyes, and lips like they do.
>>706609811
"Gouge" is the word you're looking for, my friend. Gouge that fucking dog's eyes out with your fingers.
>>706610356
This, tbqh.
>>706609598
just fucking kick and punch the fucker until it dies or runs away? I've done it before. You punch that fucker in the nose a few times and it'll stop.
is there a video of that guy getting mauled?
>>706610445
>stick the length of your arm down their throat
Seriously? Fuck that...
>>706610296
this, most likely. Id look around for anything to use, maybe a brick or stone. Really the only people who are going to have a dog like this on the loose are niggers, and you should never be walking around nigger territory alone and unarmed.
I got attacked by a boxer-pit mix once, I just let him chew on my left arm and punched it in the forehead as hard as I could repeatedly until he let go, and then I punted him in the rib cage as hard as I could. He fucked my arm up tho
>>706609598
i always thought to correct option was let it bite ur forearm, take it to the ground and put ur knee on its throat till it stops breathing
What about a bear?
>>706610542
This . I also read somewhere that you keep on punching it in the throat until it dies
>>706609598
Lots of animals have really sensitive noses. I know sharks do, and dogs are 99.9% exactly the same as sharks, so just punch its nose anon
>>706609598
Damn those dogs eyes are gone
The dog has one mouth. You have two legs and two hands. Kick it, if it keeps coming you strangle it, or smash its head into the nearest hard surface. Hands are a fucking potent weapon.
>>706610704
Pic?
>>706610445
Good luck shoving your arm down a dogs neck, regardless of how big the little cunt is, you're gonna have a bad time.
>>706610652
Newfag
>>706609598
I would let try and bite in his throat as hard as i can. Alpha dogs do that to show that they are dominating beta dogs. If thats not help, punch kick him on his nose and then lock his shoulders under my weight and twist his head so that i can break his neck
>>706609811
You're looking for gouge or bludgeon. But I'd grab it with my left hand behind the head and when it turns to bite I'll grab the throat with my right and shove it on it's back. While it's down there's not much it can do so personally I'd grab its head and pull back as hard as I can to break its neck. Keep your knee pressured on it though while its down so if it bites you it doesn't get up. Also, this is just one reason I always carry a knife.
>>706609598
You can't do shit. The strong man alive could punch a pit bull on the head - and it would not let go. They were bred to die before letting go. If you don't carry a gun you are fucking retarded, but a knife is still the next best thing. It is not hard to carry a knife, plus you can still claim to be a faggot-pussy man-bitch democrats because you don't carry a gun.
Eye gouging doesn't work on pit bulls, nor does hitting it on the nose. I have personally seen a grown man hitting one on the head with a steel chain-link fence post so hard the pole dented in. The dog's head was bleeding out so fast you could see blood pumping out of the top of its head. It still did not let go.
But fuck it believe what you want to believe.
>>706609598
If you see a dog attacking another person, grab the dog by its hind legs. Freaks the dog out and it will let go of the victim.
>>706610675
a dog attack can happen basically anywhere.
Once i was walking and a stray dog which was apparently chilling, taking a nap, suddenly stood up and bit me.
No barks, nothing.
Wa a big dog, luckily for me someone yelled at it and it went away.
>>706610465
headskull
god I love you
>>706609598
Grab both front legs and pull them apart, no more doggo problem
>>706610658
Then have fun dieing lol because that's the best strategy
Jam your fist then arm into its mouth and down its throat
It won't be able to bite down because your arm will be blocking it
Then you can make it choke to death on your fist like a psychopath or see if there's something nearby you can use as a weapon to keep distance between you and dog
>>706610757
You don't fight bears. There is no effective fighting technique to defeat a bear unarmed but they have extremely sensitive snouts. Some bears can smell 35x better than a bloodhound which would lead me to believe if you smacked a bear on the nose they might run away if they don't think you're a serious threat.
finger up the asshole. seriously
>>706610704
how much did he fuck up your arm? you can still use it normally?
>>706611094
That's hardcore
>>706609598
>what I think I would do
Choke it at arm's length until is passes out and then snap its neck while it's unconscious
>what would actually end up happening
I would freak out and try kicking and punching it while it rips my face off and clamps down on my neck until I either suffocate or bleed out
>>706609598
>>706609598
I'd pull out my gun and shoot it because I'm not some unarmed eurofag or liberal pussy.
>>706611077
kek i was thinking the same thing
>>706611145
It works fine, just had to get stitches. It's a little numb where it the bite was
Im not a normal sized person and that had a lot to do with me beating it up. I'm 6'5 and 270lbs. That dog was maybe 60-70 pounds and did a number on me
I have heard (read unverified) that if a dog attacks you and you are in a position to do so you grab the two front legs and jerk outwards at a 90. Supposedly this causes the ribs to puncture the heart and/or lungs. Obviously this works better if the dog is over you, if it even works at all. You'd also want to protect your neck with your chin in such a scenario.
I am armed though so that scenario would never play itself out.
>>706609598
try to get ahold of it's neck. You could easily wrestle any dog off of you and hold it back. I mean I'm not a huge guy (225, lifter) but I consider myself pretty strong. I think as long as I could get ahold of it I could keep even the largest dog off of my throat
>>706610890
how am I a newfag just because I don't know of one pic on 4chan?
Fuck off faggot
>>706610809
you have obviously never been on the bad end of a dog bite.
They have a massive pain threshold. not to mention they literally take your fingers of and break bones in your hands and arms when they bite (assuming you're lucky enough that that's all they are trying to bite)
I've seen many attacks and have once been attacked myself. I also have a trained GSD that bites on command.
Just sharing some info I have learnt
>>706609598
I used to be a gas meter reader so I think I would be well prepared during a dog attack. If unarmed I'd probably claw at its eyes or try to rip off the flappy part of its jowls. If that didn't work I'd try ripping at its testicles.
>>706610465
yeah, but what else anon?
keep choking it until it passes away from lack of oxygen or from severe head trauma
Doggos are vicious kill machines.
I know about this pitbull which attacked a little poodle; poodles owner chopped it with a machete, and even then, it didnt let the little poodle go.
It never let go: died with the little poodle on his jaws
>>706610757
U die
>>706611362
ignore the coon don't give it attention
>>706610296
>pick it up and then slam its head against concrete.
I think that's the best course of action, assuming there's no object you can use as a weapon nearby. your biggest advantage against a dog is your size. average pitbulls are 30-65 lbs (accoring to my Google search). so you would be wise to swing that motherfucker around and sorta bodyslam it. might not be able
I've also thought about stomping right down on the middle of the spine. I'm sure that's a weak spot, but executing that while a dog is biting and jumping all over you would be near impossible.
so yeah probably just slamming it against the ground.
>>706610757
If it's a black bear stand your ground and make yourself as big as you can while shouting. They will almost always back down. Best thing to do for brown bears is to slowly and quietly back away while facing the bear If either attacks all you can do is curl up in a ball and hope for the best. Do not attempt to fight back ever, you will guarantee yourself death that way.
>>706610885
yeah, an arm is way too big. you should try to use your dick in this type of situation.
>>706611077
whats wrong lol
>>706609598
You have to put your hand down its throat, if you can't grab it's bottom and upper jaw and give it a good snap. These two things will stop an attacking dog.
>>706609598
Fist it's mouth. Seriously. Shove your fist down it's throat and it will back off. Same with big cats. Just throat fist the bitch
>>706609598
Looks like he gnawed a nigger.
Good boy.
>>706611338
Bingo that's the correct way to do it.
>>706609598
Get into kneeling position and protect back of neck, make yourself as small as possible.
>>706610550
This... dogs need leverage- they're feet. They need to tear... stop getting on the defensive.. you wrap the dog up like a wrestler and beat it to death. Pick it up and slam it to the ground. You have soo much leverage. You go for a kill, its looking to tear at you. This isnt roxket science. 1 on 1, you attack to get it off its feet and pull them out of their sockets. Eyes, balls, inside the ears, gouge the throat, stick your hand down their throat... you go to kill...
>>706610975
You sound like total white trash
>>706609598
PUT UR FINGER IS HIS BUTTHOLE
THERE
>>706609598
I'm a bitch when it comes to pain tolerance and trust me when I tell you getting your skin punctured by teeth and chunks of skin/flesh ripped out is the worst feeling you will probably ever experience.
I probably couldn't do shit and would start panicking. At least that's what happened last time.
>>706611479
>>706611362
Two stupid and lazy faggots
Drink bleach
If you want to kill a dog you need to grab its front two legs and push them ohtwards, it breaks thier ribcage open and they cant walk
>>706611658
probably got beat by too many niggers (pit/mix) and attacked one. Good.
My dog naturally doesn't like blacks and he's a corgi. He'll stop in his tracks when he sees one or growl at them. Everyone else he's friendly as fuck to
I'd say to punch it in the throat
>>706609598
>pull down pants
>insert penis into dog's throat
>profit???
>>706609598
if i manage to get my hands around its neck and pin it to the ground im gonna press hard and hold until it stops moving. if im on the ground and its on top of me, im putting 2 fingers from each hand in its asshole and im ripping it the fuck apart.
>>706611094
This. Actually how people are advised to defend themselves from large dogs and wild cats, such as mountain lions.
>>706609598
Break the neck
>stick left arm out at approaching dog
>as soon as dog latches on left forearm reach around with your hard arm and put the dog in a choke hold.
>roll counter clockwise, pulling the dog around your body as you fall
>land on top of the dog's neck with all your weight while pulling the dogs head up toward your head. Twist the neck as much as you can for added effect
>>706610356
LOL
>>706609598
bruh
>>706609598
shove my fist up its ass and disembowel it. luckily my hands are tiny.
I think florida man killed his girlfriend like that.
Kick real hard, maybe try to drop knee on his head and break front leggs upwards
Poor doggy
>>706611012
Then what? Seriously i would be freaking out after it let go not knowing what to do
>>706611084
This. Or finger in button. But mainly this. Insta kill for dogs.
To the obvious trolls saying stick your finger up its ass I say kek
But to stupid faggots that think that'll work it won't. It will make any animal very unhappy very quickly.
So if you're suicidal go fingerblast a few doggos
>>706609598
when i think about this i imagine myself letting my left arm to 'distract' it and trying to poke its eyes and/or hold its hind legs, spin it around and keep beating the ground with its head
>>706609598
I'd do what Rick did in "The Walking Dead," bite it's throat. Dude that's my fucking arm, fuck the dog.
>>706610975
No one is going for the kill. People naturally get defensive. Get the dog off its feet, its not doing any more damage beside hold on. It may be a long fight, but that dog is goong to die... it's going to know that...
>>706610907
Lol
>>706609598
Born in a big city moved to rural small town.
Taking a walk across the street down the only sidewalk around.
Dog from across the street on a lawn starts barking and baring its teeth looking at me.
I get angry because dog is making me scared just walking down the street. We come to standstill just looking at eachother. I flex on it thinking it would run away (motion with shoulders and try to intimidate)
It bolts across two lanes of highway road and starts running full speed.
I run away immediately.
It almost gets hit by a car, the car stops suddenly in the road. Dog goes back to lawn.
Now I have to walk around with a knife everywhere.
>mfw I can't walk outside my front door without getting chased down by a dog.
>mfw I am moving back to actual city asap
>mfw rural people are actual savages and there is no place safe on this earth from man or beast alike
>mfw the best you can hope for is being killed by an actual human
>>706611915
no joke this will work they let go right away. you have to rip their asshole right open. like stated above
>>706609598
I've actually thought about this too and it's, in large part, why I carry a gun. I'm a delivery driver and I'm always dropping shit off in the fucking sticks where people let their dogs just roam the fuck around, and I think I'm more scared of a dog attack than getting robbed or something.
If I had my gun, I'd blow the pooch's brains out... obviously.
If I *didn't* have my gun, and it was a big muscular dog that's biting my leg or my arm, for example, I'd try really fucking hard to choke the shit out of it. I'm not sure I'd be successful, but I'd try really hard...
>inb4 choking a pitbull good luck with that
Yeah, tell me about it...
>>706609598
look at that cute little blood thirsty bastard.
any way, best thing to do that leaves everyone happy is escape, you take less risk of injury and you don't have to regret killing anything. use your long limbs to your advantage but don't and i mean DO NOT let it get a hold of your leg, kick that mother fucker if he gets near your leg or he'll stop you from being able to flee or holding your ground, protect your vitals, if it gets your neck/face your pretty much dead. strangling or striking with punches and kicks is ideal. but most importantly try to flee so you don't have to take that gamble. also good points to hit are just like humans, throat, nose, stomach (if he's latched on to hopefully knock it's breath out). eyes seem like a good idea but i feel like that would just put him in more rage. lastly you could try to grab his mouth and keep it shut while you try to find a way to run also.
>>706609598
Just fall on it.
Like what the fuck its just a dog
you're like a 160lb+ human, I'm pretty sure even falling on dog would kill it if not incapacitate it.
Like seriously, everyone is overreacting
>>706610789
I believe the story on that one was that the guy was robbing the place and the dog was doing it's job--guarding the house.
>>706610774
>99.9
>>706609598
I also wanted to ask a few about this.
A dog attack is near harmless if you take away the fear factor in it.
The fear factor of being attacked by an animal other than the same as you (a human), is what makes the situation dangerous.
A dog has only one (1) basic and simple attack. Lounge and bite. This attack is simple, straightforward, and easy to counter.
A quick extent of your hand around it's top and bottom neck immobilizes the dog. As Long as you have this grip, it is subdued.
If the dog is proving itself hard to handle, press your forearm against the bottom of it's neck until it passes out.
And there you have it. If you're being attacked you need to realize irrational fear will get you hurt the most.
>>706610774
>Sharks and dogs are 99.9% exactly the same
Everyones got a plan until an enraged pit bull is tearing your shit to ground beef. Put your entire arm down its throat.
>>706609598
I have been attacked multiple times by dogs, bitten twice, don't ask me why I am not in the mood.
None of them have Rabies, so I am fine.
What I have learned so far
>recognize the kind of dog, some dogs can breathe and bite at the same time (others cannot), this kinds of dogs are the ones you always see in the news. Dangerous as fuck.
>Put an object between you and the dog
>Better if the object is something you can easily control with your hand. Like a stick.
>put your chin down at all times
>if you dont have an object with you, offer your arm, is better than having your face rigged.
>Apply a neck chain when posible, and crush the dog with your weight. Kill it, is your life or theirs. Even if you feel is not the right thing.
One protip
>most dogs become self aware of their situation of you show them you will grab something from the ground to throw to them. If this doesnt work and he's still charging at you, pick some sand, offer your arm (or the object), and blind the dog.
I hope it helps some one of you fuckers in the future.
Another protip
>cover, your mf neck. Dogs are naturally trained to hunt by taking down larger targets by aiming at the neck. Its on their genes.
>>706609598
Sit and hope death comes less painfully.
I'd let him bite and hold onto my left arm, and i'd wildly bash him with my right arm, while trying to drag myself towards people for help.
I need to keep the thing away from my neck - it's instincts are telling it to bite there, so my left arm has to be the sacrifice until i can get help.
>>706612020
Seriously in that scenario you need to go barbarian. No trolling.
Run over and boot the dog in the head to get it off
Then start screaming and acting aggressive
If you have a stick or something bang the ground or a trash can with it
Pretty much if you act like a lunatic AND you're swinging around something that could be a weapon there's a chance the dog will run.
If it's multiple doggos you'll need a weapon definitely
And you're going to get chewed up
A lot
PTERODYACTYLUS YELL AS SUPERCLOSE INTO IS HEARS LIKE THAT ANNYOYNG FUCK FROM EXTERM DRENOSARS
>>706612221
On second thought, maybe I'd try sucking the dog off. Might make the dog less aggressive ?
>>706609725
There is nothing wrong with what he said at all. He said he would probably think about cutting the dogs eyes out.
Do you need a knife to think about cutting you stupid fucking prick??????????
I would probably be screaming and swearing while shitting my pants and try to get the damn thing off me.
>>706612189
Oooh boy did this make me laugh. Fucking safe anon.
>>706609598
I'd punch the living fuck out of it's head. Yeah, I might get bitten a few times, but I swear to fucking god that dog will have his skull caved in. I'm not afraid of dogs. I will fuck them up.
>706609811
Is gouge the word you're looking for?
>>706612335
Only difference is dog has no swimmers, bite makers are almost exactly same
>>706611605
skull means HEAD dude.
>>706612136
I thought you were going to reference Rick and Morty and the Lawnmower Dog episode where Rick disguises himself as a dog to get to close to Snuffles/Snowball
>>706609598
I know your qualifier was "unarmed" and in that situation a lot of the suggestions here are pretty good. But I'm always armed. Headshot would be optimal but 2-3 good torso shots will make it lose any fight it would have left and if you hit the lungs it dies in minutes or less.
>>706609598
I'd masturbate to the video of this attack
>>706612502
works with humans too causing at a very short brainseizure or shockeffect
plus it my call help
>dog runs up and launches
>front kick to the chest
>dog probably lands awkwardly
>gets up and comes in low
>soccer kick in the throat
>dog probably a little stunned
>repeated kicks in the ribs
>eye gouge or pull it's tail the wrong way if it latches on to anything
Idk guys I'm not huge but I have really fast reflexes from 9 years of motocross racing I think I could take one.. probably not completely unharmed but you gotta be a faggot to die from a dog
>>706611605
What other skulls are there? Legskull?
>>706609598
You boot it square in the chest. I've worked with dogs and stomping/kicking them is most effective. It happens to connect to your arm, throw a knee to the abdomen or punch it in the nose. Connect with your neck your fucking dead, pretty nasty, I heard stories about a guy that was checking meters and got his throat torn out by a pit.
>>706609598
I'd gouge the eyes out right after I tear open its throat with my bear hands.
>>706609598
You just said you were unarmed and would cut the dogs eyes out? That is a counter point.
If you think you're going to be attacked try to grab ANYTHING, a stick, or a rock, whatever you can find to assist you. If you cannot get away, try to get the dog to bite your forearm. Smash the dog in the skull till it lets go or dies.
My small dog was attacked by a large dog on a beach in Point Roberts. I had to kill it by smashing it's head with a rock. The owner wanted to sue me, lucky many people recorded his dog attacking first. He was charged later.
>>706609811
Stick your arm into its throat. It'll hurt but it's better than getting your face fucked up
Best way to do it is separate the dog legs sideways, it causes a heart attack or some shit, other than that stick your fist down its throat, should stop the attack.
when it goes to bite show your fist down its throat and it will choke and gag wont want to bite down as hard possibly than snap its neck or choke it out
>>706612896
>>706609598
I would do the same I would do if a human attacked me: punch and kick
It is a fucking dog and I am a strong human male, shouldn't be so dificult
>>706611094
Oh shit bro. FUcking METAL!!!!!
>>706612953
A lot of people have suggested this but now you have a dog arm. What do?
>>706609598
I would crush it's throat.
Seriously.
People don't understand just how vulnerable that is... On anything really.
It's all loose soft tissue with soft thin bone around the larynx.
It does not take allot of strength, and it hard for anything to keep on the attack when your jerking their esophagus around like an errant garden hose.
>>706611930
>florida man killed his girlfriend like that
fucking Christ that's savage
>>706613074
You can punch this. With your bear hands.
>>706612193
>>706613069
Pull its heart out from the inside
Like most have said I would have the dofpg bite my arm however when he grabs on you get leverage on the dog put your free arm on the back of the dogs neck then pushing with the biten arm and bringing in the free arm will break the dogs neck. Even though the dog bit me I wouldn't want it to suffer
>>706610975
To add to this, I also believe Trump is a genius.
Murica!
>>706612858
ok
>>706613312
Fuck my phone *dog
>>706612865
penis skulls. seriously look it up. animals are fucking weird
>>706612257
you're fucking joking right????
>Just fall on it. Like seriously, everyone is overreacting
i'm just giggling to myself endlessly trying to imagine what you look like typing this out
>>706609598
a dog bit my arm and started pulling once, so i shoved my arm further down it's throat and it became so uncomfortable for it that it let go.
they will instinctively pull if you pull, if you grab their head and shove whatever body part further in will hurt (i guess).
if it didn't let go, i'd poke it's eyes out. i'd do my best not to try and pull away, as that will only make it worse.
all punches and kicks are useless unless you can kick so hard it breaks internal organs. a lot easier to jump on top, shove your hand into its mouth, and jab at it's eyes.
if it bites my face though, maybe my rational will leave me. the best is presenting the bone side of your arm, while remembering that their jaws will easily break those bones.
>>706609598
Strangle it, the throat is their weakness. Choke it to death.
Also try always to be stand Up and not in the floor. Show no weakness. Be merciless. Chase him and kill that bastard.
>>706610356
>>706612193
when you think about it, this counts for all kinds of attackers.
>>706609598
cover your throat and shift your legs to protect your groin. Punch the dog square in the nose as hard as you can. If the dog is already biting the fuck out of you do as other anons have said and eye gouge and throat squeeze.
>>706613526
Is English your first language? Do you mean penis bone?
>>706609598
Tbh, I always have steel, both gun and knife, so in reality your scenario doesn't apply for me. I'm typically just going to make a contact shot on the fuckers head or cut its throat if it got that close at all.
In a situation where these tools aren't available, definitely going to sacrifice my arm and use impact/crush damage to end psycho pupper. 225 lb mashing a 60 lb dog into a sidewalk isn't going to take long.
>>706612226
want to add the front leg push outward technique sounds good
> Shove your fist down it's throat and it will back off
apparently this is legit too?
>>706612401
the real question is, why have you been attacked multiple times? are you black?
>>706609598
Idk if this has been said but you just break one of its skinny legs then turn 360 degrees and walk away
>>706609598
>706610296 #
I kicked the shit out of a dog once cause it bit me. I was stuck between a screen door and an entry door to my aunts house. It started to come after me again so I let er rip right up under its chin. Fuckin dog ran off yiping like crazy...didn't bite me again though.
>>706609598
Are you familiar with the term "A dogs bark is worse than its bite"? That's pretty much been my experience. I've been "attacked" over 20 times. In most cases simply picking up a rock is enough to scare them off. Failing that, feint like you're going to throw it. If need be try to hit that fucker with all your might. Should all that be for naught, kick up a bunch of rocks and dust. Usually does the trick: I've yet to be bitten.
I've gotten attacked by a dog, it luckily got my arm and not my neck.
if you're strong enough, pick it up and slam it on the ground or an solid object near you repeatedly until it lets go.
or.
Gouge it's eye out with your free hand if it hasn't gotten ahold of your neck it is.
>>706612462
>while trying to drag myself towards people
you're underestimating their strength, not to mention that it will hurt like a motherfucker and your body will tend to do whatever it can to make the pain stop, which is giving up. instead you can easily jump on the dog and poke its eyes out.
Vet/b/ro here.
If it's already biting down, the chest/ stomach area is the way to go.
Otherwise just tackle and pin it down at the first sign of aggression.
Source: did it this morning.
>ps if Banjo's owners are reading this fuck you and fuck your dog
>>706610975
knee on its throat then.
>>706611455
Pitbulls have a lock jaw. It's meant to get stuck if you will on whatever it bites
>I was attacked by a dog a few years ago on my way home from a fight( I'm an mma fighter)
>Dog comes out of nowhere, huge pitbull, and just latches onto my arm
>Drained from the fight I don't know what to do
>Remember a trick I've seen animals in my native country use
>I crouch down making myself a ball almost
>All of the sudden my body explodes with electricity and electrocutes the dog
>Get up, comb my long orange hair back with my hands and proceed to do back flips while howling
>>706610774
>Lots of animals have really sensitive noses. I know sharks do, and dogs are 99.9% exactly the same as sharks, so just punch its nose anon
THis is actually good advice
Dogs have an incredibly sensitive sense of smell
This means the largest nerve outside their spinal cord is the one leading directly to the nose
Punching dog in black part of nose real hard is like kicking man in balls
Also the top of a dogs snout is about as thin as an eggshell, breaks easily
On dog with snout punch down real hard there and dog will whimper and run to hide somewhere till they die
>>706614444
checked
grab tail and tie it around dog neck.
>>706611766
Drink bleach? What's that do?
>>706614313
>Banjo
Where the fuck you live Cleetus? Also groom yourself, having a beard like that looks fucked unless it's full.
>>706614180
I am not going to move my neck toward the thing. The thing is going to be jerking all over the place, i am not going to attempt to melee the thing. I said i'm going to be wildly bashing him with my right arm. Because i will NOT be able to concentrate on letting it have my left arm at the same time that i'm doing some kind of intelligent attack on it.
As for the strength of the animal, i am not thinking about it's strength, i'm thinking about its weight.
I am not fucking around about saying that i'm giving it my left arm. I don't have high confidence that i'm getting that arm back without it being disabled.
I am holding out hope for OTHER people to disable the dog and get it off me. And my JOB is to just keep it away from my neck until then.
>>706614313
i've sometimes pushed my hand further into its mouth. do you know why that makes them let go?
>>706609811
>>706609598
Wrong, eyes are not a weak spot in the dog. It's the throat.
>What if a bull attacks me?
Search for a tree and something to hit the bull hard, like a wooden stick.
Go to the nearest tree and start running around it until you find something to hit the bull So hard in the face. The bull will stop and run away.
>Horse
Horse can only bite and Kick.
>Cats
Scream and Kick.
>Bears
Manly scream and no retreat.
>Big Cats
Try to Look Big and never break eye contact.
>>706614313
Pretty sure the last place you want to be is down on the ground with it where it can latch on to your neck.
>>706614444
kek and amazing quads great post 10/10
>>706610557
He's looking for the word "pluck" retard
>>706609598
it's probably not going to happen so maybe don't worry about it you fuckwit
>>706614898
Can't you just climb the tree if you fight a bull?
>>706614847
I know a dachshund called Banjo.True story.
>>706612189
>>706611275
god I fucking hate dogs
>>706609598
So this is going to sound retarded, and I know you all will make fun of me for it, but here goes;
If an untrained dog attacks you (not a fur missile, just a stray or someones pet,) and you end up pinned, is to take your forearm and jam it as far back into their mouth as you can, to prevent the muscles from exerting the full amount of force, using your other hand, grab the canines lower jaw and push down and back, trying to either break the jaw or free your arm.
>>706615044
Dude, no, pluck is nowhere near forceful enough for the context
>>706609598
Find a way to shove your arm down its throat or dislocate its jaw. If he's already biting you just go for soft tissue, like muzzle, eyes, inner ear or belly. Some dogs are too fucking stupid to ever let go though, like pic related. Those wont let go even after they die.
>>706615222
This would probably work. 99% of these posts would not
>>706615122
>Climb a tree
That is stupid, you want to get rid of the bull, not be trapped like a faggot.
>>706609598
Kick it (cant do much damage through shoes at that speed)
Punch it in the nose if it gets too close
Stomp on it if the opportunity presents itself
I've really fucked with lap dogs by sticking my fist in their mouth and opening it up on them on the inside & locking up their jaw. Wouldn't risk that with an attack dog though.
>>706614847
>i've sometimes pushed my hand further into its mouth. do you know why that makes them let go?
makes them gag, which is why it works on large animals too. I just want a walking stick or cudgel or something that doesn't look like a weapon
>>706610510
This. You're gonna get bit anyway but shoving your arm down the throat reduces the amount the jaws can close and suffocates the dog. You got to give up hope of not being bit and go in fast before he can bite down on your hand or wrist and do a shake, possibly tearing your hand off. You'll need to throw the rest of your weight on the dog and pin it so he can't do a death shake.
>>706615222
oh and trips
>>706609598
>tip my fedora
>turn 360°
>walk away
>>706614821
I work in a shit-tier county in Florida I'll let you guess which one.
And I just got off an 8-8 cut me a fucking break man.
>>706609598
Impossible as I am always armed unless I am on the shitter or in the shower. Other wise there is always a Kershaw Blur or a PT-145 within 2 inches of my right hand.
>>706615580
>>706609598
I feel sorry for that dog.
He took down a dangerous animal, but he'll probably die from 3rd world infection or get shot by the other niggers.
>>706609598
I would climb a tree and throw things at it
>>706614847
Let's say you tried to bite down on a giant cock like you're so used to sucking.
>oh no cock is too big and hard
>oh no cock is going further down my throat
You get your mouth off the cock or you die faggot
>>706609598
yell bad dog! and smack it in the snout.
>>706615704
>PT-145
Taurus nice
always wanted a taurus judge
>>706611275
>pit bull
Good, stupid bitch.
>>706612189
Don't Look the dogs, Just ignore it.
For some reason the dog will not attack if you don't Look it in the eyes.
>>706615165
Me too. But i love Cats and ponies. no, i am not gay.
>>706614444
Are you Blanka?
>>706615630
You did good today anon. I love you
>>706609598
Push your fist down its throat as far as you can, then open you hand and grab flesh the dog will begin to cough, at which point you can rip its throat out.
>>706613990
Well, I have procured many a bicycle through illegal means.
>>706616080
Feelsgoodman
>>706615630
>cut me a fuckin break
No breaks for heroes, faggot.
>>706612638
The entire top of a dogs skull the size or equivalent to a Shepard is pound for pound equal to a human fore head in thickness. A human forehead (strongest area of the skull) takes 400 psi to shatter threw with a striking surface about the size of a roofing hammer. A human male fist being slightly larger than a baseball on average, will not come close. Brock Lesner standing from an ideal punching stance, produced 113 psi.... so unless your about 3x Brock, your not going to kill a medium to large dog by hitting it with your fists....
If a dog bit me, I'd grab that fucking thing by the back of the neck, drag it to the curb, and curb-stomp it's fucking brains into mashed potatoes like, "my father gave me that truck motherfucker! you ever shoot at firemen?"
>>706609598
Honestly, I can't believe there are so many people who don't know this:
>Stand tall
>Establish eye contact
>Slowly walk to the side of the dog in a counterclockwise direction
>MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT
>Time the movement of the dog's legs as you circle it
>Just as it's about to move its left leg, dart forward
>Grab the dog's dick and jack it off furiously
>>706615883
no cock is too big and hard
I weigh 100kgs. Rotties can get up to 50kg pretty easy
>use weight advantage to choke out
If can grab front two legs. Separate outward like a bird, breaks ribcage
If can get from behind, chokehold / full Neilson
If doggo lunges at you, try intercept by grabbing neck, carry momentum, lift high, body slam down.
>>706616204
So what you're saying is you're a basketball American
>>706616855
>basketball American
Oh shit my sides
![blanka-sfa-hk[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/Z8EVsgO.gif "blanka-sfa-hk[1].gif")
>>706614444
i see what you did there, because i'm not an underage fgt.
>>706614444
legendary quads
raise left arm up over my chest so the dog can't get to my neck. Shove thumb through dogs eyes and hope it lets go. Find a rock nearby to bash it with.
>>706616692
>eye contact
Angry dog everywere.
Why people still having dogs?
>Loud as fuck, bad for humans
>Annoying sperg
>Needs a lot of food, shits a lot.
>Never stopped a robbery
>Will betray you becouse it is a ungrateful bastard.
>Savage animal full of diseases and parasites.
>Just like a retarded son
0/10
>>706609598
What would you do if a bunny attacks you?
It's a serious question I was asking myself for a while now.
Let's say you are unarmed.
I'd probably think about cutting his eyes out or something, Maybe that would stop a raging rabbit.
>>706611773
Plus once its teeth are attached to your throat, you have total control of his center of mass.
>>706616855
>>706616937
>basketball American
>>706611846
I don't know why these posts are cracking me up so much.
>>706616966
Someone gets it
nice dubs as well, anon
>>706609598
if you grab the dog's front paws and try to separate them as far as possible this can break the collarbone on most dogs, basically incapacitates them, giving you time to stomp their heads.
>>706617690
The sarcasm hurts
>>706609598
>Unarmed
Grab the dog by the throat and choke slam it. Jesus, do you faggots not know how to handle an aggressive dog?
Since the mouth is the only means of attack, get your weight on the animal and force your hand down it's throat until you're tickling it's insides. Leave arm in throat until it's dead.
/Thread
>>706610975
This. They can be great dogs, but they're powerful as fuck. I've seen one mauling another dog taking repeated hits to the head with a shovel, didn't phase him at all. If you were unarmed, I'd find an object like a lighter to wedge into its gums and pry it's mouth open a bit.
>>706609598
Wrap my arms around that bastards neck and squeeze
>>706617541
>Thinks dogs are bad for humans
How have you made it past childhood without getting the shit kicked out of you. Dogs are man's companion.
>>706618095
>Implying the dog doesn't just bite down as soon as you stick your hand in it's mouth
You've never dealt with an aggressive dog have you anon?
>>706617541
Labs are different than all of those past 2 years old, except shit a lot, fuck did my Lab shit a lot. He was extremely loyal, quiet, bit a Mexican in the dick and basically castrated him when he jumped my fence, presumably to break into my house, and ate all the fucking rabbits and protected my garden. He was an extremely good dog.
>>706609598
I was bit by some rich dude's dog on Napoleon in New Orleans one day. I scared the guy, asked him if his dog has had its shots, asked him for his name and his address and his phone number, told him my parents were lawyers and that he'd hear back soon.
>>706614313
You leave our Banjo alone you sick fuck and stop coming into our yard. Get some treatment for your PTSD.
>>706609598
Having had a pitbull actually bite me once, I can tell you from personal experience that an 80 lb. dog stands no chance against a 180 lb. man. I simple picked the dog up and slammed it on it's back, grabbed it's throat and asserted my dominance in the way it could understand. I'm not going to lie, I slammed it pretty fucking hard onto the ground and any animal panics when it can no longer breath. That dog was totally submissive to me forever after. The problem with most people is they try to fight a dog like a human. Dogs wont respond to that. You have to fight them in a way a dog will understand.
You have to do the "death roll". Spin your body as fast as you can on the ground with all of your body weight. This move can't be countered by the dog or any animal for that matter.
>>706609725
I was attacked by a dog and that's basically what I did. I jammed my thumb in it's eye and it instantly forgot it was attacking me.
>>706609598
Obviously the best thing to do is avoid a dog attack by either trying to scare the dog or avoid eye contact and try to deescalate the situation. If it does attack try to use your legs or arms to block the bite. Try grabbing its backs les and "wheelbarrow" it backwards. This basically disarms the dog and it is no longer mobile. If youre stronger than the dog try grabbing its neck and putting it on its side and sitting on it. If the dog is not rabid it will usually submit to you at this point. Ive been training dogs for a while and work as a pack leader for a dog daycare. I break up dog fights all day long.
>>706614444
Oh yea, double dubs!
>>706616612
Then i'll tear it's god damn throat out with my teeth. BITE THE DOG BACK NIGGA
>>706609598
Rip its dick off with my own teeth!
>>706618937
>double dubs
They're called quads you fucking sperg
>>706609598
My dad used to say that in that case you have to go for the neck and try to break it with one hand while avoiding more harm with the other
While we're on the subject, how do I poison a dog that is shitting in my yard? I would prefer to not poison any innocent non-dogs
>>706619339
blowgun. just tie a string to the darts so you can pull them back and leave no evidence
>>706619177
Weak ass single dubs
>>706617878
i love that one
>i will use my only defensive limbs that keep my neck safe
>and shove them in butt
and this fucking guy dude
>>706612257
>>706618458
B-b-but, were in love!
>>706619528
>Tie a string to the dart so you can pull it back
KEK
E
K
>>706609598
>retarded people a few house down have retarded dog
>dog has attacked 3 people
>no idea how the hell it has not been put down or owner put in jail
>every time i let my son play in our driveway i keep a very watchful eye on him and retards house
>also keep a 2x4 at easy access
>one day hear retarded dog barking in their screened in front porch and retarded people yelling at retarded dog
>door opens and retarded dog bolts outside
>retarded dog locks eyes on my son
>i grab 2x4
>retarded dog makes a b line for son
>retarded dog gets BTFO by a 2x4
>retarded people butthurt
>cops give 0 fucks
I am sure a 2x4 with a nail in it would be better. but thats a lot harder to explain then a standard 2x4.
all in all a good solid board worked well for me and my son.
Though im sure a shovel would work too.
>>706619339
Ethylene glycol also known as antifreeze. It's a common occurrence.
>>706619730
why not keep a baseball bat or golf club, 2x4 seems kind of unwieldy
>>706609598
i was attacked by a pitbull when I was a kid (10 or 11)
it grabbed my arm and drug me to the ground positioning it's ass into my face at the same time. having little choice i forced my tongue into the doggie anus and the dog let out a lustful moan releasing my arm just in time for me to run home mostly uninjured
so thats what i did
>>706618647
An elephant could step on you.
>>706619339
Well the correct answer is you dont because that would be illegal.
However if one were to hypothetically do this i would say mix a bottle or 2 of sleeping pills into a ball of peanut butter and but it in the freezer till its pasty. when the dog is seen throw the ball to him. Or if this happens while you are not at home freeze the ball then leave it on your property where you think the dog is coming onto it.
>>706619903
Genius
>>706613854
you sound like a huge faggot. you'd be a goner for sure.
>>706610296
Once it latches on they generally don't let go. If it latches onto your arm you are basically fucked unless you can find something hard to pick up and brain it with in the other hand.
If it bites you anywhere else you can use both hands to stop the dog from shaking his head and tearing your flesh while you slowly choke it. Knawing isn't a very effective way for a dog to tear flesh, they have to be able to shake thier head and body. It's still gonna hurt while the dog is latched on, but you will eventually win and not die.
If the dog bites you low enough you may be able to but all your weight into a blow to the spine which would have unpredictable but potentially highly effective results incapacitating the dog. You may also lose your balance and end up on the ground though which is dangerous because the dog could go for your head or neck at that point and kill you.
>>706619860
I do a lot of carpentry and dont own a baseball bat or golf club.
>>706619339
Broken glass in meat
Maybe something Metal sponge in the food
Acids, regular poison in food.
>>706619528
Lol
>>706617091
Shut the fuck up you stupid faggot
>>706609598
try to put dog on his back and strangle him , you have no other option
>>706619903
....mostly....
>>706609598
>Let's say you are unarmed.
i'm not.
i'd shoot it.
>>706619903
i wasn't expecting that, kek
>>706609598
Grab its front leg and fucking crank it. You'd be surprised.
>>706619730
>Not knowing law
If the dog of "x" attacks you, "x" is responsible of the damage. X must be in jail for attacking your son and "x" dog needs to be out down.
>>706614313
Fuck you Banjo's a good dog.
Been here before. I have to grab hold of its lower jaw for dear life while getting it in its back, sitting on top. If no one can help you from there, choke this bitch it with your free hand. You ain't coming out unscathed, but severely reduced damage
>>706609598
Take my shirt off and wrap it around my arms, wait til he charges and stick my arm down his throat, try to pin him down and start punching his neck until I crush his windpipe.
>>706619339
>Kill the owner
>Adopt the dog
>Teach it to shit in someone else's yard
>Problem solved
>>706609598
Drop to one knee facing dog, hold out arm horizontally presenting your forearm for it to bite, when it's close enough, punch it as hard as you can right in the nose with your other hand at the moment it is about it clamp on your arm, a jab won't cut it, hit it hard and yell NO! like a bark. This will stun it for a moment, even a pitbull, most other dogs will back down at this point. As fast as you can, grab the dogs throat under it's jaw and squeeze as hard as you can. The dog will die in a few seconds with a crushed larynx. Enjoy it's muffled choking gasps, take this time kick the fucking shit out of it then do the same to its piece of shit master.
>>706620647
what would jerking the dog off do?
>>706620726
Dog of X was put down by my 2x4... Thats why the retarded people were so butthurt.
I was attacked once. I kicked the dog in the face and got bit a few times. I eventually got a stick and beat the dog until it quit. I don't recommend it.
>>706620989
Fuck my sides I hate you
>>706620925
Gonna be honest, as soon as you said take my shirt off I thought you were going to say you would fuck the dog.
This is the only solution.
>>706609598
Am I the only one who feels the urge to shoot that smug bitch?
>>706610356
>>706610356
this is the only way my gf's sister makes her pitbull release the dogs its biting
>own 3 akitas with my husband
>two sons from my previous marriage
>wife was a drug addict
>one day husband comes carrying youngest
>he was bit real bad by the oldest dog
>tore flesh he was going to need stitches
>while he's taking him out to the car I go out back
>call the other two inside
>call Sasha over
>shes hanging her head
>she knows shes in trouble
>point gun at her head
>pull the trigger
>at the hospital sherrif filing the bite report says the dog will need to be impounded for 30 days for health review, and testing
>tell the sherrif that wont be possible
>well its the law
>well the dog is dead, feel free to go pick it up before I get home to burn it.
>husband starts crying "you killed Sasha?!"
>>706610356
Waiting for the day a /b/tard remembers this info incorrectly and gets attacked by a dog and shoves their finger in their own ass
>>706621577
what if the attacking dog is wearing a buttplug??
>>706621019
Still, They attacked your son.
>>706612858
You're retarded, but okay. I wish you luck, cuck.
guys i got the best solution, use your stand to stop time before the dog attacks and throw knives in his direction then immediately jump 10 meters into the air and drop a steam roller on it, remember to screech like a frog taking anal from a horse once you land the steam roller.
>>706610445
You guys are fucking dreaming. The dog is frogging on you. Shaking his head back and forth. Shaking you with it. And your gonna poke it in the eyes. Lol......whatever.
You guys are morons. Yup. All thos pit bull victims. 260 last year fatally killed NEVER EVER thought about poking its eyes or punching it.
Go back to land of oz dreamers. If a dog like a pit attackef you. You would get fucked up. That simple
>>706609598
shove as many finger as could fit up its asshole maybe try to get my fist in there
>>706621714
only the smart ones do, luckily most leave their ass unprotected
>>706610907
have fun losing your ears
>>706609598
Kick it in the snout/face. Putting as much distance between it and you is the best thing, even thinking about being a fucking sperg and getting close to something that could rip your jugular or arteries out is autistic.
>>706621714
Then god help us all
>>706620745
Very good, HNNNNG!
>>706621850
people get away from sharks by jabbing the eyes. it's an extremely valid way to save yourself from an attacking animal
>>706614440
That's a myth. They just don't let go.
>>706609598
I normally carry a knife with me and have been mildly attacked by a very non threatening dog in the past.
But if it were to be (pic related) or anything like that and it grabbed ahold of me or anyone I know.... I'd slice its fucking throat in an instant.
Two other options if I'm unarmed are gorging its eyes out and grabbing it by its waist and flipping it on its back. Attempt to stomp out its legs.
Use your size against its weakest points.
>>706609598
Shove fist down it's throat. Gag reflex will prevent hard biting and it'll eventually pass out from suffocation.
If it's two or more dogs and you're unarmed, you're basically screwed.
