Give me the fastest way to kill someone without any evidence
>>705998316
Milk steak
Icicle to the heart. Classic.
>>705998316
Push off a cliff
stab them with an icicle
icicle stabbing
>>705998316
No such thing, just "least likely to be detected by pathology," and then that's an uncertainty, as some pathologists are more diligent than others.
Just throw 'em in a wood chipper, on a boat, about 2 miles out
>>705998316
Air bubble??
>>705998573
Injection mark
>>705998316
Police finding the murder weapon is almost always required.
I shoot my guns off regularly in my back yard and then just hide them. You need to hide it really, really well though. Or destroy it.
>>705998592
inject under the fingernail
>>705998316
slit throat while running past them
put some rhubarb greens in something they eat
>>705998316
>MEMED TO DEATH
>>705998316
Get am ococle and stub them in hart
>>705998316
Choke them to death with your dick, at tge very least you'll get man-slaughter
>>705998316
>fastest
>any evidence
Pick one
>>705998647
Dipshit, that's one of the first places they always look.
>scrape body everywhere for microbial evidence
>check usual injection locations
>check for signs of struggle
>check orifices for various trauma
3rd year forensics student checking in you cunt, I know my shit
>>705998316
Hit them on the head with a frozen roast, then cook and eat the roast
There is no fast way anymore.
Witnesses, cameras, etc. Just being away at the time of murder could implicate you.
So the fastest way would be to either live in a small town, or pay with cash to get there, be hooded so that the camera can't identify you and if possible obscure your face enough to make it so that the bus driver and passengers won't be able to identify you.
Your clothes should be generic, the most popular shit.
At night you strike at some home, kill everyone in there, then head back preferably having a full set of new clothes which hides your face and all that and burn the old clothes in the fireplace.
Even then there's no guarantee you won't get caught. Things might go wrong on the way.
>>705998810
Fucking moron.
The fastest snail is still slow as shit.
>>705998316
Void powder. Victim disappears into nothing.
>>705998316
Be an immigrant. They kill people constantly and the police don't care.
>>705998316
get someone else to do it
>>705998316
Buy pure nicotine from China to a drop house and then brush about 1ml onto their skin. Death is inevitable and probably won't be discovered. Just don't get any on your skin
solidified water forced into their body
>>705998874
Exactly, did you miss the part where i pointed out the duality of his criteria?
>>705998316
push them down the stairs
>>705998828
Basically this, but reverse. Killing someone in your own small town just makes it easier for cops to get you. Get to the city, find some alley where there might be some homeless people, kill a lone one sleeping, burn clothes nearby and switch and get home.
Easy.
>>705998823
bet you're swimming in pussy
>>705998316
Make them watch that sorry excuse for a movie. Source: I almost died from that fucking piece of garbage
Inform the Clintons that they have incriminating evidence?
shoot them?
Its not like you leave the gun there like they do in the movies.
eat them.
yes.
o
>>705999998
kek
>>705999998
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA one off!
Kys
Who got it though?
>>705999999
>>706000000
>>705999999
>>705998316
introduce them to meth.
>>706001026
This one, besides being funny, is actually pretty realistic. Not bad, anon.
Normal bullet go to the ocean put them in a lobster cage and let the bacteria and micro animals eat the corpse.
>>705998316
add their email address to various feminist newsletters & peta/aspca
>>705998316
Nanny Mcphee them of course
>>705998316
Make them watch Jared Leto's portrayal of The Joker.
>>705998316
>Shoot with gun
>Dispose of gun
>>705998316
push them into a volcano
>>705998316
Turn your dashcam off.
Don't know if you all understand the word evidence, if you stab in the heart with an icicle a hole in the heart is still evidence.
>>705998316
you must be new...
CYANIDE, you fucking retard
>>705998824
What book is that from? She feeds it to his detective friends...
>>705999086
You're a fuckin retard
Just wait 100 years
>>705999999
>>706000000
test
>>706004183
>>705998316
propophol
visceral attack
>>705998891
hehehe
>>705998316
Iocane powder.
It's odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is one of the deadliest poisons.
>>705998316
>>705998828
You fucking mongrel haven't ever lived in a small town have you? Everyone knows each other. They notice when someone isn't from around there, they notice when people who live there act strange, they know where to look for missing people and gossip and word of mouth spreads like wildfire.
>>706004909
>How to unrape sister at...
>Domestic Violence Porn...
>Wrinkly Ass Hole Porn V...
>Granny Tranny Cumshot...
>old man cuck dildo | eBay...
>aborted fetus porn - Google
kekkadon
Has anyone mention insolin? Its untraceable as its naturally accuring. Also the needle is too small to leave any mark worth noting.
>>706005085
Then explain Twin Peaks.
Got you good there, huh,
>>706004060
No you are. You can't ask for *the* fastest and *the* case where the least evidence as possible is left behind. Because it's impossible to not leave any clues. This is like asking for the cheapest, best looking jacket. You have to prioritize one of them, if there's no options at the lowest price available then you de facto can't get anything but the cheapest jacket.
>L2WRITE you fucking imbecile
>>706000211
>>706999999
>>706005259
insulin*
And no, it's a known method that can be traced.
Butcherfag here.You need something called a captive bolt stunner. Its used by butchers in slauterhouses it fires a rod out into the brain then retracts said bolt. See the movie "no country for old men"
>>706005259
numbnuts alert
>>705998316
Time
>>706005319
>you are not Bob
Also, since Twin Peaks is returning now, after 25 years of waiting, I'm sure they'll solve that shit, further prove my point, kek
OK. The the dry ice trick. 4 blocks in a fairly closed room. 10% atmosphere will kill you and has the benefit of looking like an accident. Carbon monoxide in homes is so common they sell detectors. So meh
>>705998316
Tell them to piss off Hillary Clinton
>>705998316
Talk to them, your personality will induce suicide rapidly
jonbenet ramsy + money =no evidence to solve
>>705998316
Be an autistic 6 year old
Potassium cyanide. Make sure the body isn't found for a few days. That's how my grandfather got away with it.
Get OJ to stab them?
>>706005259
>untraceable
you must be some 12-year old who watches too much TV.
injectable insulin is recombinant and plainly detectable
injectable insulin can be easily remedied with a glucose drink (if dizzy) or a glucose drip (if out cold). even then, people don't die of megadoses of insulin because the liver stores enough sugar to combat almost any insulin overdose. you'll feel shitty as fuck, but you'll survite.
.
>>706005510
And how the fuck do you expect to not leave any evidence? Just because it's not a bullet killing the person in question doesn't mean it's untraceable. What do you expect? "Oh, this man died of natural causes, that hole in his forehead must be completely natural".
First of all, using such a device would instantly make law enforcement look up any butcher in the area, not finding anything suggesting a firearm. Also, using a captive bolt stunner would probably spray particles and microscopic traces of blood and tissue over you. Then you have to clean the tool, yourself, anything even remotely close to where you killed the person, stored the body, transported the body, and create a decent alibi for dealing with a bleeding corpse.
Heroine over dose.
>>706003864
It's just a short story
>>706004459
Hey, that top post is mine!
Neat!
>>706005785
Anyone know if this is traceable?
>>705998316
Feed them mcdonalds for 15 years
>>705999206
Dead pussy
>>705998316
Tip one, do not ask for help to kill people online.
Offer them a free plane trip to luxery resort. Then send them to Brazil, South Africa, or Afganastan.
>>705998316
Strangle with bare hand, spit on their face and cum in their ass
Offer them some Marijuana. Then keep giving to them till they OD. Saw it on an episode of House.
>>706005655
Won't the alarms go off and wake the person?
>>706005998
Only if specifically looked for i believe
Call 911 in America and say a black man with a gun is in the home. Then watch the cops do the dirty work for you.
>>705998316
Nerve gas
>>706006192
If they have a detector. Slim chance.
>>705998316
smoke a pack of cigarettes under their bedroom window every night till they get cancer from second hand smok
go to chicago, detroit, or the bad part of californina
literally anywhere niggers live. and just shoot a couple.
then drive on home
>fast
>no traces
Does not correlate you stupid fuck. Choose one or don't bother at all. Fast would be a dagger to the heart, pushed sideways trough the rib cage, your victim will bleed out in approx. 4 seconds
Follow them while on a phone to 911 and state they are looking suspicious. Then get into an "unintended" altercation and shoot them. Too soon?
>>706005998
>>706005785
This is a perfect way to kill someone who has asthma or high BP... they wouldn't even second guess. slip it into their drink ... leave for a few days... and the assumption is always made as asthma attack or heart attack.
>>706006158
In order to OD on weed, you'd have to smoke 40,000 times the thc you need to get high in the first place. So if you need a whole joint to get high, you'd need to smoke 39,999 more joints within a short period to fatally OD.
If the victim is black: paint him white, push him into the next BLM group
If the victim is white: paint him black, put a BB gun into his hands and call the cops.
>>705998316
A swarm of poisonous bees released from afar in a general direction of a target.
/thread.
Kill yourself, and then the evidence won't matter
>>705998316
hot shot them.
cops won't care, they'll just consider em a junky
>>706006668
this
>>706006605
why not pushing the white and giving a bb gun to the black one? why would you want to paint them?
>>705998824
Takes too long to thaw a roast
>>705998573
Air bubbles don't acutually kill
I've witnessed someone shooting up air.m bubbles just to prove a point
Diagnose them with a peanut allergy then give them a pay day bar.
>>706006748
yup. my buddy tried to do that when he got hepatitis. Didn't do a damn thing
>>705999539
There's always one
>>705998316
Hat pin into medulla. Quick, quiet and efficient with the luxury of almost impossible to determine.
>>706006889
someone's been watching too many movies
>>706004872
What if they spent years developing an immunity to it?
Invite them for a road trip. Ask them to check if you have a flat tire while in the middle of the hood. Then drive away. It will sort itself out. That is unless they are black...... Oh wait... No it will still work. They kill anyone not local.
>>705998435
with skittles boiled over
>>706005655
if possible you can do this in a bathroom, if there is a gas water heater... suffocation happens all the time, because of chimneys, wind etc.
>>706006967
Let's meet up and I'll prove it to you. If you survive I'll suck your dick.
Throw a frozen egg really hard at their nuts
>>706006748
>being this retarded
at least you aren't alone
>>>706006862
>>706006723
Well, someone's interested. This is because the humans brain works in a certain logic. Every process (e.g. pathology) have several procedures, put together by logic and experience. As soon as the logic obviously doesn't fit, the human working on it gets confused.
Painting was just a metaphor.
>>706007103
>lets meet up so I can try to kill you
>>705998316
old age.
>>706007214
He-he don't tell... I will probably suck your dick when you're dead anyway.
Take there license plate off there car. Then put a paper that says fuck the police. Let it sort its self out.
>>706007211
you sound retarded
>>705998316
The fastest way would be to hire a professional to do it fast without leaving any evidence leading to you.
>>705998316
Granade in mouth
>>706007103
Sure thing you autistic dumb fucking nigger.
A hairpin is weak and flexible, it's not going to penetrate the epidermis nor is it big enough to cause sufficient damage to the medulla. Come meet me you fucking fag, I'll show you how to really kill someone.
>>705998316
Op, foolproof method, don't ask how to kill someone online. Guaranteed to work every time.
>>706007384
Involving somebody else is a sure way to get caught. 99% of "professionals" are undercover cops. How do you propose finding a real one? If you know about a real one, he's too sloppy to trust, or he's a cop. It's that simple.
>>706007719
no need to hire a professional, hire a druggie or someone suicidal to do it for you, pay them or their family
>>706005998
If there's any reason to suspect foul play, they will run a tox screen and will detect it. Poisons can be detected in an exhumed body for decades..
There will always be evidence if there is intent from the murderer.
You can only make them disappear, make it look like an accident, or leave evidence but with no trail leading to yourself or a 3rd party.
>>705998316
Tell Crooked Hillary they have evidence of her corruption.
tell big pharma you see auras
>>706007103
This is actually a trick so he can suck your dick.
>>706007719
There is no such thing as an assassin hotline to find a real one. If you have to ask where to find one then you're better off not doing it in the first place.
You have a friend, maybe he's a dealer. You trust him and ask him about it; he directs you to his cousin who was in prison six months ago. This cousin is very buddy-buddy with a Mexican dude that says to have Cartel connections. You give your money to your fiend's cousin's buddy since he says he'll give it to the guy who will do the job after taking a cut; then you pray you're not getting scammed.
That's if you're a regular Joe.
>>706007103
Pretty sure this guy's just a faggot who wants to suck someone's dick.
>>706007179
Are you calling other people retarded because you think an air bubble will kill you, when in fact it will not?
Nursefag here. I've let bubbles go into hundreds of people in IV tubing, because it's harmless.
This has actually been tested on dogs. Bubbles go to the lungs where they diffuse out harmelssly. A large bubble up to 10mL will probably cause some transient chest pain and shortness of breath. It takes more than 30mL of air rapidly injected into a vein to potentially be a problem. This is chiefly because the heart is very efficient at pumping fluid, but does not do well pumping a full chamber of air, so the froth may plug up the outflow tract. Note that this is not a guarantee, only a potential.
>>705998823
>3rd year forensics student
>doesn't know shooting air does NOTHING
i know you're not a doctor, but holy fuck you're dumb
>>706007911
That won't work, either. People talk. They will turn you in. If you hire an unreliable druggy, they will fuck it up, get caught, and rat you out immediately. Soliciting murder is essentially the same as committing murder.
If there was a fast untraceable way to murder someone, everyone would be doing it and everyone would know how to do it.
We all have people that we think deserve to die.
>>706005339
Her retard, read OP's post again.
From all the methods that leave no evidence, he's asking for the fastest.
>L2READ you fucking imbecile
Have someone else do it in Mexico
>>706007214
>>706008511
I'm laughing my fucking ass off
>>705998316
>Tobacco
50grams or tobacco
half a cup of water
shallow pan
a hot plate
>break tobacco apart
>put into pan
>pour water so all tobacco is under the water
>keep on a low heat for about 2 hours
dont bring it to boil
>remove tobacco
>should have a very dark golden reddish water
>simmer on medium heat until waters gone
>should be left with a foul smelling tarry goop
>wearing gloves and protective gear
>scrape all of it up
put it in someones tea and it will kill them overnight
done it twice now and have had no backlash
pretty sure they die from some kind of shock from the toxicity of the substance
shit cant be done. stupid idea. just ignore the dickhead. i honestly think it's as stupid as it can be. you'll ruin your own life and probaly someone else who did not have anything to do with it
>>706007032
the milksteak is boiled over hard. the jellybeans are raw.
>>705998316
Killing someone without getting caught is literally extremely easy: real life isnt one of those NCISCSIA what the fuck ever los angeles tv shows where they whip up the sperm dna account of every person on the planet ever based on a hair strand they found
Theres a fat chance it would take a month to even notice someone is dead in the worst (best?) case scenario assuming they dont work/ arent in active contact with anything but paying a few bills here and there
It would be especially hard to pinpoint a killer if its someone you have no prior connection to
>>705998435
Too long to prepare
Insulin overdose
>>706010605
Thats one way.
ncbi.nlm. nih.
gov/pubmed/21923800
>>705998316
Push them into the sun
make them watch suicide squad
>>706006605
I'm pretty sure you should mark the numbers before you grease the pigs.
>>706011739
I've worked in law enforcement for 12 years and this anon is correct. Virtually untraceable.
>>705998823
>i know my shit
confirmed for not knowing shit
Throw a cloak of invisibility over them and kick the living shit out of them.
inculine shot on the dance floor or in drink
>>705998316
Insulin. In the spine.
>>705998891
so, ever heard of non-immigrant violence being higher than by immigrants in the states?
i bet you think blacks aren't committing most homicides either
>>705998316
Ricin
inject different blood type.
>>706014119
That doesn't sound like a fast death...
>>705998316
one word: time machine
>>706008798
But he wasn't talking to you.
Retard.
>>705998823
Also it wouldn't have worked under the fingernail anyways.
You'd have to inject air into a major vein for that theory to work.
>>705998316
Fire
