How do you acquire your condoms /bros
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
How do you acquire your condoms /bros
Don't use them. When I get close I put my dick in their mouth.
>>705357973
Really nigga?
>>705357973
I can't go to most supermarkets or petrol stations because I require large condoms and usually their stocks are so limited that they don't have them.
So, like someone who isn't anxious or autistic, I go to my pharmacist and buy them.
I don't. I just gift my HPV to any chick who lets me inside her
>>705357973
>go to my local pharmacy
>pick out some condoms
>purchase said condoms
>go home
Wow that was hard
BUY THEM FROM A STORE
>>705357973
Used to just buy them online
>>705357973
I rarely ever used them. I couldn't I can't orgasm with one on. I never had one night stands though I think my shortest relationship with a woman was four years. Been married to the same woman now for 17 years.
>>705358115
>I require large condoms
lol
Is your dick bigger than a 2 litre coca bottle?
>>705357973
Once upon a time I went to a store but since they are way cheaper online I'm buying them there now
>>705358169
This or a super market or like anywhere
Im no genius but I think OP is underaged and wants to buy condoms to impress his faggoty friends
>>705358346
That's some dumb logic. When you see condoms stretch over large objects, it's to show their durability, not that they can fit any dick in the world.
Wearing a normal sized condom is so fucking tight it turns my dick into a blimp and starts to castrate it. What's more is that it's so much tighter and smaller it doesn't go to the base of my penis, and when I start pumping that shit into her cunt, it slowly gets pried off because there's so much friction against the grip.
Large condoms are snug.
I always pay a homeless man to buy them for me because i am too embarased to buy them myself
OP just interested I am currently getting mine from store like I thought most people did but was talking to people last night and all of them bought them online just interesting in what /b/ is doing
>>705358676
Most men are fucking pussies for some reason when it comes to buying shit like condoms and underwear. Man the fuck up and get them from a store, cashiers give NO FUCKS. It's policy that they give NO FUCKS.
>>705357973
There is no way OP isn't underage. My guess is 12 or 13
>>705357973
Oh boy here we go.
>>705357973
>implying I use condoms
>implying I have sex at all
>implying I want to live
i get mine from the free clinic that does testing for sdt they give me a brown paper bag full of condoms n lube. i use them when i skype young girls instead of fapping into a towel
>>705357973
Why pay when you can find them in the street and put them through the washer...
>>705357973
funniest condom purchases?
>at wal mart
>get a pack of condoms, a bottle of pepper, and a lighter
>Cashier raises eyebrow
>"It's gonna be a wild night" I say.
I haven't used a condom in roughly 13 years and I don't give a fuck.
>>705359106
Same - but I get mine in the local parks and once through the dishwasher they're good as new.
>>705358563
I feel you man. I have a girthier than normal penis, and depending on the brand they can be tight as shit.
I used to get them from planned parenthood, but they just start to castrate me. I know that feel
>>705358988
>didn't have sex till I was 21
>waiting for this moment for fucking ages
>wasn't even nervous
>wasn't even bad sex
>was still thoroughly disappointed
>10 minutes of foreplay and 15 minutes of straight sex, she came twice, I didn't
>never had the drive to hunt for sex since, just do it when it happens
If you're depressed, you're not missing out on much.
>go to Walmart
>grab condoms
>self checkout
>leave
>>705358563
Stop lying, baby dick. Don't reply unless you have a time stamped picture. We all know your dick is tiny.
>>705359616
>begging to see someone's dick on the internet
???
>>705357973
I steal them from my mother's purse
>>705357973
aliexpress condoms
>>705358787
>Part time minimum wage employees care about store policy
>>705359780
I said don't reply, baby dick.
TALK IS CHEAP MUTHAFUCKA
>>705357973
pub vending machine
>>705359882
You're proving my point, fambo.
When you're at minimum wage, you've got a lot more to be thinking about than the ribbed, flavoured and slim condoms some balding 40 year old man is buying. You're mindlessly scanning that shit along with their toiletries and microwave dinner before you ask them "cash or card?", telling them to have a nice day, then moving onto the next customer.
>>705360111
No, nigger. I pay attention to everything they buy, and do my best to make them uncomfortable about it. I'll even talk shit to them if they don't look like they'll hit me. And pretty much everyone I work with does the same. Stop protecting your lazy bullshit onto others, most of us put in effort to piss people off.
>>705357973
the hospital near me gives em out for free
I buy them at the shop like a normal person.
>>705360495
I think bored autists are in the minority of your line of work tbh, an obvious majority of people who do the same shit as you don't give a shit what people are buying.
>>705357973
Local chemist.
2016
not having le babby dick
kys faggots
>>705360702
And that's where you're wrong, fuccboi. We all care, we all pay attention, and we all make fun of you when you leave. You think we're mindless drones because you're a disrespectful cocksucker, but we all know what's going on. But keep pretending that you can just buy whatever and no one will care. Not like I'll tell your wife about the cucumbers and lube you bought last time :^)
>>705359177
>>705359177
Underrated post
>>705361168
>unironically using 'fuccboi'
KYS
>>705359177
Dubs and hilarity
This guy has it all
>>705359177
>>705361354
>>705361435
>>705361550
samefagging this hard
Sent from my iPod Nano.
>>705361475
At least you know the truth now, fuccboi.
>>705361475
This
Go into planned parenthood they always give out free condoms by handful
GF is on that IUD or whatever the hell it's called so no need. Might be taking it out due to health issues. I don't want to have to go back to condoms.
If you're feeling awkward about it just get them at a supermarket with a self checkout, if you buy a bunch of other shit too no one will notice.
i buy them online because in europe no store sells the ones i need
>>705361882
This is solid advice. For free and no questions asked. It's like they don't want you to come in for an abortion. Plus they do free checkups as well.
>inb4 people complain about needing to buy large condoms
post picture of your dick with timestamp before claiming to have anything above the average size in your country
>inb4 "hurr you wanna see my dik ur fukin fag anon"
post your proof bitch
>>705362221
Until they give out free bonghits Im just gonna keep pulling out
>>705362074
she could just go on the pill or get an implant
or you can get the snip anon
>>705362193
>Because my country can't believe there are dicks this small
>>705362266
It's equivalent to tits or get the fuck out.
>>705362395
lol you're gonna get a bitch pregnant have fun anon
>>705362466
pretty much
>>705362494
He'd have to stop being a degenerate stoner and go outside for that, so no worries.
>>705362445
It has something to do with the chemical imbalance. Idk, I know nothing of that stuff and no snip. Just incase things don't pan out and need those puppies later.
>>705357973
Amazon. Dirt cheap.
>>705362494
Not sure his right hand has a womb tbh
>>705359780
Son, did you forget where you are right now. Dick w time stamp or shut your fucking mouth
>>705362457
nice projection anon,but you are only half right i have very girthy penis but below averange lenght i hope this keeps at bay your insecurity
>>705357973
Wal mart
>>705362914
>Not using the left after sitting on it for an hour
It's like you want to know it's you. And that's gay and incestuous.
>>705362494
>>705362631
Bitches love weed
I just dont go anywhere without a bong involved. I have bongs either waiting for me at the spots I go or have a travel bong prepared in a cooler ready at a moments notice
>>705362445
I'll never understand why people "get the snip" as a form of birth control. I mean it's different if you plan to NEVER have kids. But the amount of time I've seen it brought up as a "temporary birth control" because you can get it reversed is fucking dumbfounding
Visit the lgbt center in your town, they hand em out by the fistfuls
>>705363122
Baby dick lying without a time stamp.
Haven't used condoms for about 4 years. It feels so good to blow a load deep in a tight, raw pussy.
>>705357973
i like going to sex shops and attracting as much attention to myself on the way in as i can. that's how i buy my condoms.
Okamoto crowns are 100 for 12$ on Amazon. Good quality for a spunk bag.
>>705363141
i like to sit on my dick for an hour so it feels like im jacking someone else off
is this gay?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s7IZWTkOFc
>>705360495
You're obviously edgy as fuck.
I worked cashier years ago, you really do just scan shit and if you have any opinion, you just keep it to yourself.
>>705363227
this.
Don't even need to go there, they mail them out, i get 30 a month, plus lube, femidoms and other weird shit i dont use.
>>705359177
any other awkward condom + something at the checkout?
>>705363180
only suggested it on the very small chance anon doesn't want kids
>>705363469
No. What are you, stupid? It's perfectly normal if it's your own. The same way dressing up like a girl and riding a dildo is straight if you're the only one there.
>>705362494
Not that guy but
I've used pull out since I was 16, no one I fucked got pregnant. Shit works if you're careful.
>>705359780
>not posting your dick for some stranger on the internet
What are you a faggot?
>>705363546
Ty for your service
>>705363681
I appreciate the advice. Just still on the fence with the whole kids thing. I'm nota failure but at the same time I wouldn't want to be a terrible parent.
>>705363546
No, just not a retard that can't keep up. Maybe you should work on your mental capacity.
Funny side story, I was at the supermarket one night, waiting in line. There was a guy behind me acting SUPER suspicious. Spidy senses tingling. I was sure this guy was gonna pull out a gun and rob the place. Turns out, he was just buying condoms.
>>705362266
>being this mad that he has a small dick
when I lived in Japan my friends and I literally had to use these
And they were fucking expensive too and loved to break.
>>705363546
You really just scan and think about how if another person comes up saying "oh its free then" when it's not scanning right, you'll go on a killing spree. >>705363583
>>705363826
Nah, no one cares what people buy, unless you've only worked retail for like a week.
Keeping track of what everyone buys sounds really autistic and pointless.
>>705363166
From one stoner to another, you have a problem. Try taking a T-break or you know, roll joints or carry a pipe/1hitter/vape like everyone else.
>>705363701
obviously it can work but the scope of error is creeping up on you anon, i wish you good luck but don't complain when it goes wrong, it'll be entirely your fault
>>705364005
>I'll say autistic because reality hurt my feelings
Nah, we all do it, and we all remember you. Not everyone is dead inside like you.
>>705357973
Drugstore, online, gas station, super market, pharmacy... grow some balls.
>>705364037
Not him, been using pull out for 20 years, still no pregnancy.
>>705364274
>working retail
>not dead inside
how do you do that?
>>705363281
i dont know where you live anon but here in europe 64-69mm arent avaliable in shops so have another (you) anon you might need it for your insecurity
>>705364023
My only problem is dealing with inferior potheads such as yourself. You bring yourself so low I would almost deem you Unworthy of the dabber if I did not take pity on your empty existence.
You're dealing with a BongMaster. And Bongs are the final solution.
>inb4 autism
I just like my bongs
>>705364384
if by pulling out you mean you pull your dick out of her before it's in because there's no girl there and you're actually just jacking off in to a sock then i would believe you
>>705364413
Because I'm not brainwashed into believing that money=happy.
>>705357973
I got this giant bag that I took from this squatter that was staying in my parents house.
Planned parenthood hands em out by the truck load. I just go down there grab a big bag of condoms for free and go on my merry way. Plus side there are easy girls down there that you know will put out, and if yiu accidently get em pregnant yiu already know they are down for an abortion
>>705364513
I knew that would be your response. Come up with new material, it's stale.
>>705357973
No need, had vasectomy.
>>705357973
I don't. Born, be and die virgin
>>705357973
Read a goddamn FAQ. They're a semi-rare drop from Kobolds in the Underwood. You can also get them by bringing money to the local merchant and requesting 'dick sleeves of penetration."
>>705364519
that doesn't answer the question anon desu
>>705364742
It literally does.
I never understood the stigma, buying condoms is a sign that you are going to fuck. Its not like buying a vibrator or a fleshlight, which is evidence that you are not fucking
>>705364720
genuinely wondering what that's like
what's your reason for not wanting to have at least your own biological children?
been considering it myself
>>705364508
Weed is a drug for losers. I don't believe in cool people either. But you are a loser if you all about that green. The same goes for coke - A drug for losers. That does not mean I will not engage, but that I won't spend money as a frontline, secondary line, or even tertiary line of offense.
>>705364602
>Plus side there are easy girls down there that you know will put out, and if yiu accidently get em pregnant yiu already know they are down for an abortion
This part is fantasy he has every time he goes down there...
and every time he goes down there, he gets a few condoms from the jar and walks out awkwardly, while the girl at reception laughs at him because they have a joke that he must use them for balloons because no girl will touch him.
>>705357973
>using condoms, kek
My gf is on the pill, feels good knowing I can get to fuck her at any moment without dealing with an unconfortable condom
>>705364918
pill wont stop your dick from falling off when she gets blacked behind your back.
>>705364853
Could be evidence that you're going to fuck yourself with a rubber cock that you don't want to wash.
>>705357973
>buying condoms
i just cut the finger off a rubber glove. you can get a box of like 50 for $3.00 stop buying into big contraception
>>705357973
>go to store
>pick up box
>hand to cashier
>pay for condoms
>leave
I swear i'm not making any of this shit up
I just walk into a store then buy them.
Woop de doo, you're having sex. Get over yourself.
How much is condom price in your country? I buy condoms in russia 300 rubles 24 in pack. It is 5$. Good quality.
>>705364889
I am old, have three children. Last one born very premature that's the reason. Didn't want to run the risk of my wife dying. Not very exciting, but true.
>>705364591
By parents, I mean friend's parents. What a fuck up that was.
>>705364274
I work retail, no one fucking does that.
If one of my co-workers came up to me every day and told me every single fucking item everyone he rang up bought I'd fucking shoot him.
>>705357973
I don't use any. I go in raw and fill up pussies like im filling a gas tank
>>705364918
Also, it's retards like you who have kids they didn't want.
Alcohol stops the pill working, a multitude of things stop the pill from working.
that is if she remembers.
Source> gf was on the pill, fell pregnant, we both said nope.exe and done the fetus deletus
>>705364519
Oh, you're twelve and don't actually work at all. Okay.
>>705357973
Condoms are for sailors.
>>705363826
I bet you do your math homework on lunch break hoping the cute check out chick notices how smart you are and tells you she needs to be rescued so you can pull out your knife collection you fucking faggot.
>>705365056
Это что за гондоны такие? В ДС ничего дешевле 350 за 12 шт я не видел.
>>705357973
i go to a store that is specialized in selling condom, it has lots of model and give great advice.
7-11. I go in, get two Rockstars from the fridge, approach counter, ask for condoms. Pay. Leave.
>>705365095
Here, now you see. This is what autism looks like. The outcast that thinks normal behavior is weird. The guy that gets rejected for doing what everyone does.
If you really don't want to see other people when you're buying them - which I assume is the problem here. Get them off amazon.
I've never done it personally, going into a store and picking up a box isn't a problem. But amazon sells food and shit so I presume they'd be fine.
>>705364903
>>705364918
good for you /b/ro
when i was with my now ex gf i had to use condoms for the first few months until she went on the pill
ill never forget the feeling of emptying my nut in a girl for the first time
was literally euphoric
>mind my fedora
>>705365226
I'm a mechanic with a wife. I don't have to worry about the checkout chick, I'm already fucking her too.
>>705365186
Pro. Jec. Ting.
>>705365058
ah right, doesn't really relate to me as im only 20 but thanks anyway anon, hope the wife and kids are well
ＷＨＹ ＴＨＥ ＦＵＣＫ ＡＲＥ ＹＯＵ ＮＥＲＤＳ ＰＡＹＩＮＧ ＦＯＲ ＣＯＮＤＯＭＳ？
Genuinely, they are way to expensive in stores, complete rip-off when you can get them by the thousands for free at sex health centres, clinics, LGBT centers, GUM clinics, numerous websites.
wake the fuck up, idiots.
I never use condoms, I'm married and have side bitches. If they want me to fuck with a condom they get it themselves. I literally fuck this one chick for an hour with that on it until It got all the dry and ripped. She eventually said fuck it let's do it without it.
>>705357973
I don't.
Thank god the opportunity to have sex comes so rarely I don't have to go through the awkwardness of not knowing what condoms to buy
>>705365333
Elasun. Есть на али, есть в моём городе в аптеках. Рекомендую. Качественные, не жмут как контекс, разные вкусы и виды в пачке.
>>705359855
Not a bad price too
>>705357973
Go to gay pride every year. I get an absurd amount (like 3 for every day of the year) for free.
You sound like either:
1.) A kid who just lost his virginity and can't buy condoms because he's afraid his parents will find out
2.) A virgin who's trying to convince people he's not
>Go to the fucking store.
>Grab a box.
>Pay
>Go home
>>705358650
Dude, just steal them from walmart then.
>>705365422
It's fucking normal to Van Taran about some bullshit?
Maybe if things get a little bit interesting sure, but giving a shit about somebody's purchase history of condoms? If that guy has problems you have far deeper problems anon
>>705365809
because i'm not poor, and i want quality condom.
>>705364903
>I don't believe in cool people
nigga have you ever seen a nigga stand in front of a fan?
>>705358787
Bought last week a pack in a drug store. Old lady cashier gave me a dirty smile. Still didnt give a fuck.
>>705366023
you are a fucking retard.
really... a fucking unbelievable retard.
>>705365809
How big of a city do you have to live in for it to have a fucking LGBT center?
>>705366185
try good condom, and try shitty one, you'll see the difference
I go to the store and buy them
>>705366022
Its normal to banter on about some bullshit? **
>>705366022
It's normal to be friends with your coworkers and joke about your work. And remembering things isn't hard if you're not retarded. You spend about two days learning who everyone in the neighborhood is, them talk shit about them to pass the time.
>>705366185
Enjoy paying $200 a month for your free broken condom.
>>705365489
>>705366317
"Haha you know that faggot Chad? He bought a box of 50 condoms last week. What a faggot. I bet he kisses girls."
>>705359790
Trap confirmed
>>705366223
It's an option, i get them online or a handful at the GUM clinic when i get tested.
>>705366254
they are the same thing, fuckstick. literally, you get handed brand name condoms... but don't pay for them, whats so difficult.
>>705366329
If you've actually used a condom in your life, and not played with one, i'd be laughing at you, instead, i just feel sad.
but you'll grow up eventually.
>>705357973
>Came from Russia for summer program
>1st week got opportunity to fuck one mexican chik
>says to her -go buy some condoms
>she says - guys usually buy it
>have no idea how condoms look like in the USA (in Russia there are only durex and contex on cash register nearby of gums and shit)
>3 a.m. gas station
>Xcuse ma`am, there are condoms here?
>fucking suprised lady about 40 says - right over there
>still can`t see
>can you show me please?
>she shows, with a coolface take one pack and go fuck that mexican
>had a fear of buying condoms for whole life before that episode
>buying food annd stuf in that gas station rest 3 month in the USA
>...
>profit!
>>705365785
If it helps, the process is really easy, scrotum skin is just skin, so if you can handle an injection anywhere it's just the same, then area goes numb and no problems.
>>705366541
>He thinks I'm talking about condoms
Just because it's the thread topic doesn't mean I'm following it, junior.
Actually, I use Amazon Prime. Because me and my wife are poly, there is a lot of dick in a lot of pussy/ass so I buy in bulk every few months. Trojans are shit btw. I've always fucking hated how they feel. Hilariously enough, I usually buy cheap ones like Lifestyles because I like how they feel better.
>>705366837
Fucking disgusting.
End her and yourself.
>>705366837
Cuck
Steal em
Amazon... like a normal fugg
>>705366934
>>705366942
You jealous bastards lol.
>>705358069
Aren't you scared of STD's or some shit?
Nigga, you've been watching too much porn
>>705358465
idk how this works in the USA, but here in Europe they'll let you buy condoms even if you're underaged because nobody wants teen pregnancy
>>705366715
"Haha you know that faggot Chad? He bought a box of protein bars and a whole quart of yogurt last week. What a faggot. I bet he kisses girls."
![LS-Products-Condoms-SKYN-Original-2[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/cLsGhSU.png "LS-Products-Condoms-SKYN-Original-2[1].png")
>>705366632
You are literally retarded.
Try something like this and I dare you to say it's just like a free condom.
>>705367049
>I'm jealous that his wife is a free whore for any swinging dick that passes by
>>705359440
>she came twice
Sure, sure
>>705367139
these one are shit tier compared to protex 002.
But they are better than the free condom you get in club and LGBT center
>>705367126
This, plus in UK you can go to a family planning centre and they will give them to you.
Condom depot /b/ro
>>705359491
Wow self checkout huh?
Human interaction too much for ya for your condoms to have a clean night with your artificial pussy?
>>705366639
Kak meksikanka to? Luche russkix chlux?
>>705367139
>>705367139
You mean these ones you can get FOR FREE?
>http://www.lifestyles.com/free-sample/
ya fuckin retard.
>>705367126
They sell them to everyone here too. It's about being a nervous little bitch, not that it's illegal.
>>705367222
You're missing the fact that I'm fucking them too. And yeah, that means the girls AND the guys.
>>705367375
goryachaya. no vsrataya bila. no "v temnoy comnate", sam ponimaesh. Ebal s mislyu "glavnooe rodinu ne opozorit, lol"
>>705364903
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
>>705367476
Sure thing, chuckles. Just because you suck the guys to get them hard for her doesn't mean you're equal.
Literally had to ask for them. It's not so bad, they don't really care
cuck tbh
>>705367680
Lol. Nu molodec, tovarish.
>>705367413
you get ONE of them for free so you can see if it's the right size.
>>705359177
Kek
>Thanksgiving
>gf coming over
>go to Safeway to buy condoms
>while im there buy a bottle of Makers Mark
>oh shit att didn't show up today no WiFi want something to watch during dinner on the couch
>look at movies
>all they have is Toy Story 3
>fuckiguess.jpg
>go check out
>lady scanning my shit, 8/10qt
>giant bottle of whiskey,Toy Story, some food shit
>"my nephew loves this movie, if you have any coming to dinner tonight they're gonna drive you crazy later! "
>looking at cigarettes but can't decide if I wanna break my 2 month non smoking pact
>"uh yeah I got nephews coming too"
>"okay well you're total is 69.69 will that be cash or card!"
>"oh shit forgot something" go grab condoms
>fugman
>come back she has a shy smile
>"oh sorry sir I thought you had a nephew or something coming to dinner or something! "
> still kinda half responding while typing pin
>"oh no hell be coming tonight too"
>look up at her with my usual polite smile
>she hands me my shit hella rude
>walk to car
>wtf was her problem
>tell gf
>gf cries laughing
>mfw realize the cashier thought I was gonna fuck my nephew
>>705366058
How the fuck am I supposed to know if he is cool then? He could still be hot as fuck.
>>705361475
>unironically using 'KYS'
>>705357973
College gives magnum out for free; just need to wait until they restock on Mondays and raid that shit.
>>705357973
Order packs of 100 off Amazon every few months.
>>705364508
I completely agree with this anon on the assumption that he pays for his own shit as opposed to mooching money or drugs from others.
>>705367413
>everyone in this fucking website is american
also
>1
you fucking retard.
>>705362266
Hurr you wanna see my dik ur fukin fag anon
>>705362696
You can reverse the snippige though anon
>>705367730
For example, do dissociatives, opiates, or other synthetic stimulants, deliriants, hypnotics, or psychadelics. Even certain unexplored plants are worth looking into. There are thousands of psychoactive molecules that are so much better, so stop being a sheep and choosing the ones that are mainstream you plebs.
>>705367439
Fucking beta pieces of trash
What you're saying is, "oh gee, I sure want to do this activity, but what's that? I have to purchase an object that's giving away what i'm doing? Time to pussy out!"
Like you're the only guy on the planet having sex, Jesus Christ dude
>>705358650
why the fuck would you be embarrassed?
>hahaha look at this fucking faggot about to have sex
>>705367103
It's pretty difficult to get STDs from oral.
Anything deadly/life changing like AIDs needs about a liter of saliva to transmit orally. You'd have to have some kind of open wound in the mouth of the girl and an open wound in your mouth and transmit a reasonable amount of blood into your bloodstream orally in order to get something this way.
Literally every single person in the world has herpes type 1. If you don't, it's not possible for you to get it.
You can only get type 2 either orally or genitally, not both. So, if you see a chick with it on her mouth, go right ahead and stick your dick in there cause better to have it downstairs then on your face. Plus you're not going to get it unless there's a sore.
There's a shitload of strains of HPV. Literally everyone has HPV. If you don't you've never had human contact. Even then you still might have it. Plus if you're male, it doesn't even matter and they can't test you for it anyway.
Clap, crabs, etc, is curable...zika? Ebola? What's left? Hep-C? I don't fuck crackheads.....
I've never had any STDs....I've done a decent amount of chicks and some of them were pretty big sluts. I'm pretty well certain I carry HPV because one of the girls I dated said she had it, but other than that....
I order a 40 pack off amazon prime every month
I don't. I'm a bare back warrior.
>>705357973
Are you 12? Nut up and buy that shit in front of people
>>705365809
you can get a pack of 40 for like $10 on amazon
>>705368898
This mostly tbh.... but always good to have protection on deck. You don't want to go out there with just dicks in hand.
I have this friend that is only embarassed by buying condoms, it's the only thing he's a pussy about, and his gf ends up buying them for him.
>If only I had a gf I would buy them myself
>And give the smugest face to the female cashiers
>While they scan the MAGNUM CONDOMS for my MAGNUM DONG
>>705357973
Remember OP, when you first buy condoms they will take you out back and measure you. It's so that you don't buy the wrong type and accidentally impregnate someone.
Hopefully you'll be lucky and you'll get a qt pharmacist to get hard in front of. I wasn't so lucky, I had to get it up in front of an old Indian man who I suspect was enjoying the experience a little more than he was letting on.
>>705357973
I fuck whores so i use the ones from the dollar store.
if they break no fucks are given.
Hmm so how would the conversation go with the pharmacist?
>Can i get a condom?
Which brand, sir?
>Ehh, Durex please
Which type of durex, sir
>R..regular
What size?
>Average
How many do you need?
>Hmm..o..one box please
That'd be xx dollars
Is that it? I've never bought one and I'm a bit autistic
>>705369787
The internet exists.
>>705369787
Just go in and pick up the box and take it to the counter.
If they're behind the counter just point.
>>705369787
No you retard, you have to get your dick measured and you have them fitted. Then you have to try it out by sticking your dick in the pharmacists ass using the test condom specifically laid out for customers.
This whole thread is bait, everyone shoud just kill themselves
>>705358787
I work In a store, and we judge you by your purchases.
>>705357973
Wow someone is a virgin.
>>705357973
drug store
>>705359780
nut up or shut up, literally
>>705357973
I pick them out of your moms asshole
>>705370015
Can't order from the net. I live with my parents and they know I'm a beta-virgin. So they'd know I'm buying condoms to fap and that'd be weird
>>705370197
Condoms are sold only in med stores where i live. Haven't seen any in supermarkets etc
Amazon
Altho bought a big box a bit ago then gf and i broke up
Press F to pay respects
>>705367886
Did you fuck you nephew though?
>>705371040
You're protecting yourself from yourself? Lmfao
>>705364602
Nice steal from some early ought's comedy routine. Come up with your own material next time.
>>705371040
The outside of the package doesn't say there are condoms inside, just tell your parents you bought something and they don't need to know what it is.
>>705365096
So you just insert and cum for 5 minutes? You need to see a doctor.
>>705358069
There is an higher risk of pregnancy by pulling out method than with condoms. Due to precum etc
>>705372247
>precum contains sperm
JEESUS OP
IF YOU'RE NOT JUST ASKING THIS FOR A SURVEY I SWEAR YOU'RE A 13 YEARS OLD WANTING TO HAVE SEX.
No but seriously i buy them from my local pharmacy or mall.
>>705372065
I don't want to risk the package arriving when I'm not at home and my parents receiving it.
>>705357973
online, cheap as fuck. Got a 100 pack for something like 5 or 10 bucks, whereas i got a 20 pack from the store for 12 bucks.
>>705372940
A very small amount, yes. Jewgle it yourself, faggot
>>705359440
>be me, 14 years old
>horny as fuck all the time
>get 16 y/o gf because fuck it man, ass was phat
>never even go on dates or anything, its one of those shitty "status" gf type deals
>basically we just make out and shit for no reason, its pretty chill
>one day tells me her parents wont be home for 2 hours after school
>go over, fuck for a solid hour (deathgrip syndrome is a bitch) was all right
>did that for like a month
It was all right
>>705372940
>>705373475
been pulling out for 4 years with 5 diff girls no problems yet
>>705363546
anon is a good mane
>>705373171
They would actually open a package with your name on it? Damn your parents are awful...
>>705373867
You're new here
>>705374158
That has nothing to do with being new here or not. I'm far from new here.
> Meet cute Peruvian girl from internet for first time.
> Lay in park, she asks with a straight face "Would you like to have sex?".
> Caught off guard, I chuckle and ask "Here?". Tee-hee such silly.
> Some more small talk and chill before we leave.
> Did not expect to have sex on first date, so I didn't bring condoms.
> She needs some food from the store, pharmacy is right next to it, so we split up temporarily.
> The anticipation + holding her small soft hand made me quite aroused during the walk.
> I had to walk into pharmacy and buy condoms WHILE sporting an obvious boner in my pants.
> It was weird but I acted cool, young pretty cashier girl smiled at me, I paid and left.
> We went to her dorm and sexed loudly. Strange day.
My gf is on the pill so no condoms. The only problem is its a fucking dead relationship and we haven't had sex in 3 weeks. The last time we did, she said "feel better?" after it was over. brb killing self.
>>705357973
My wife buys the magnums for me
>>705357973
Amazon, my grill loves flavoured
>>705374879
So revitalise it you faggot.
Take her some place - buy her something. Write her something. Make her feel like an angel they get off on that no matter how long it's been.
> go to my local pharmacy
> unzip pants
> slam 8 inch thunder of the gods into counter
> smile
> tip MUH fedora
> good day to you M"LADIE , would you be kind enough to dress the gentleman over here
> * cashiers pats wet with the force of thousand Poseidon
> * use condom to put my peepee into the vagina
> cum in 30 seconds
> * tip muh fedora and merge into shadows
>>705373867
Well, I'm an awful soon desu.
BTW, the way i imagined in >>705369787 is how would it go, right? And if so, I'll be able to get them.
>>705359433
You're using it wrong dumbas, or you don't know what castration is. Better guess, you've never used one for its intended purpose.
>>705359780
Baby dick confirmed
>>705375363
you nigger
>>705368651
Uh, I think he is talking about the implied step before the oral...
>>705357973
Through Amazon boi
From the local grocery store, duh?
>>705374879
Make sure you take lots of supplements that make your load huge. There are at least 50 molecules in jizz that have a positive mental affect on women. If you have sex often, then can get 'addicted' to it or have sort of a withdrawal when she isn't getting those molecules from you.
Look it up, actually cool and worthwhile science.
>>705375457
I never had to ask the cashier for condoms. Here [The Netherlands] they're just on the shelves like all the other items [that used to be different], so I just grab a pack of condoms and pay for it. No awkward looks, no feeling weird or whatever. Cashiers usually don't give a shit, so I'm told. All they care about is how much money they make.
I go to the drug store and buy condoms. I actually meassured my dick the other day to buy a better fit. kek. still I have fucking with a condom
my boyfriend doesn't want to use it because he hates the feeling of it around his cock, so every month I'm scared to be pregnant
>>705374879
seminal fluid antidepressant
google that.
>>705376328
whore
>>705358563
did you remember to tuck
>>705376328
You can't get pregnant without uterus, faggot
>>705357973
I purchase them at the store.
>>705376540
>>705363166
>t IUD
Nigga, you a britfag?
>>705376540
kek
I live in Canada and we can walk into health clinics and just grab a bunch of condoms and walk out. They're free.
I grabbed a garbage bags worth one time. Still going through them. Lifestyles brand too, which isn't shabby.
>>705357973
go to the doctors and pick some up for free or just fucking buy them???? wow so difficult
how you can even need condoms when you're this socially retarded is beyond me
>>705357973
At the pharmacy.
>>705357973
Normal shops don't have my size, so used to buy from sex shops. But I don't like to use one at all so I don't anymore.
>>705357973
>Go to the neares pharmacy
>Choose among all kinds of condoms
>Pay the ones i chose
>Go to gf's apartment
>Proceed to fuck
>>705358563
finally, another big dicked /b/ro that understands the situation... so sick of all these tiny dicked fags acting like regular sized condoms are comfortable. sorry fuckers, i've had too many small condoms break or pop off over the years...
>>705358563
THIS
>>705377381
Must be hard to find extra small condoms.
>>705358115
Walmart sells Magnum XL.
I am 8.1 and Magnum is tight on me but when i use Magnum XL theres a chance it slips off. When it got stuck in GF i decided not to risk it for pleasure. Last thing i needed to do was get that idiot pregnant.
>>705357973
Pharmacy, and you?
>>705364731
>kobalds in underwood.
would you mind showing me where underwood is faggot.
Well getting condoms for 4 inch sometimes hard some condoms sit a bit loose. Just go fucking buy them at the store dude
I go to the olympics and take enough to last me until the next olympics two years later.
Bf works for a safe sex advocacy group so he gets them for free
Lots and lots of them
>>705357973
I dont need them im a virgin
>>705379005
so none?
>>705357973
second hand
>2003+13 not downloading their condoms
its only 3gb
>>705358563
>>705359433
its like having the strangler strangle your penis, aint fun at all
>>705380015
>ETA 9 years 41 weeks
>>705378369
Oh you are so funny and 12
>>705380170
>reads ETA
>but cant read the word PAUSED
>>705367139
Indeed. I'm not even sure If I could cum with one of those cheap shits if It's a quickie.
I'm using this most of the time.
>>705357973
Buy them doggie
better than tinder! plenty of horny as fuck girls of your city on http://gmy.su/:rcCh
>>705358069
Bruh same
>>705363180
Given the fact that there is no other valid form of male birth control on the market, it makes complete sense.
I'm 21. I sleep around quite a bit. I still use condoms for STD safety, but I don't intend on getting married til past 30 (or at least whenever I have my life on track to where I want to be), and I don't even know if I would want kids once I do get married. But even if I did want kids, it is nice to know that my seed will never impregnate a woman without my sayso. In a world where women hold almost all of the reproductive rights, it's nice to know that whatever bitch I'm sleeping with this week can poke holes in the condom, lie about birth control, do whatever she fucking wants and I won't get stuck in an 18 year commitment with her because I'm shooting blanks.
>>705358787
Self checkout
>>705359086
This is a good use for condoms but downside is the smell
I always looking forward to buying condoms. Sometimes I buy them with my gf but mostly I am alone and give the sales girl an 'OH YES BABY' look kek
why use condoms when you feed them plan b for breakfast?
>>705384246
Vasclip.
I came up with this idea back in high school.
Also came up with a variation of the stent that could work as well for different situations.
