I want to become a criminal. Partially for financial reasons, partially for fun / excitement.
What is your advice? Do I rob businesses? Break in after hours? I'd love to rob drug dealers or shit like that. A drug dealer was arrested in my city and $70K cash was found in his home. I'd love to find someone like that.
Tips? Tricks? Advice?
Tits always related
>>704508898
I am interested in this topic
>related
Come to Seattle and attack and rob all the tweakers. No one would give a fuck, not even the police
I was thinking of starting with robbing a convenience store. Lose my virginity with something relatively easy. Invest my earnings in supplies. I want one of those masks that are near a grand and look real. That way I can wear a mask without people realizing it.
Go to the suburbs, and sell sugar to rich white people as cocaine.
Advice. You seem fucking retarded. Take it from a drug dealer. If he is carrying 70k, you are gunna end up the lick. Not him. If you wanna rob, rob street dealers, not fucking distribution men. They will shoot your ass without thinking and toss you in the furthest out of state body of water they can afford to ship your carcass to.
>>704508898
Yeah don't start out too big for one thing. You'll get caught. I wouldn't really rob big dealers but like >>704509172 said tweakers are free game, people who sell meth and crack would be easier targets
>>704509172
I want to do this in my city. I also like elaborate ideas. Like setting a trip wire so if I'm chased on my run to my car they will fall.
>>704509438
Kek this. OP you are going to get fucked. And if you rob a convenience store unless it's in buttfuck nowhere and is run down as shit you'll get caught probably within an hour. And if you find one you won't get shit from it anyway
>>704509586
You are going to die.
>>704509465
Building off what the said there are plenty of Xanax/Klonopin fiends in my area. The white ones usually stock up and sell to their friends. Rob someone who is just starting to deal, not someone who is expecting to be robbed every couple years.
Rob niggers. Beat em at their own game.
Become a lawyer. The End
>>704509438
I'm fine with the possibility of dying. Why is it impossible to get one up on a guy with cash? Once the target is identified I figure I can wear my realistic mask and follow them as the walk up to their house. Pull out a gun. Get him to let me in. Hopefully there is no one else home. But if there is, hopefully I can kill them. Hopefully find the money, kill the bitch and gtfo. I definitely think this can fail, but definitely will? I don't see why.
>>704509422
Crushed paracetamol would be more convincing.
>>704509777
We are all going to die.
>>704509586
Smart thinkin, Wiley Coyote...
Maybe you can setup a Rube Goldberg machine where a ball rolls down a tube to hit a line of dominos that triggers a fan to push a sailboat carrying a candle which burns a rope supporting a piano that falls on the cop cars as you make your getaway.
Foolproof.
>>704509861
Impossible
Sell pills to college kids
>>704509706
Why is that? Crack heads get away with this shit sometimes. If I plan it out I think I have a great shot. So long as I get from the store to my car clean, then get out of the area before cops arrive, I should have like a 95% chance of getting away with it.
>>704508898
become a politician.
>>704510036
>pull gun
>he say's nigger what and knocks your ass down and then shoots your dumb ass with your own gun
this guy didn't run the dope game because he is some soft faggot who is just going to let you walk up behind him
I once asked my VERY VERY VERY lucky best friend this same question. He said it very plainly and simply. You think you're smart enough to not get caught, but are you as smart as the college educated specialist who is trained to catch people doing EXACTLY what it is that you are planning on doing?
>>704510150
I understand your criticism. But for me it's about fun, and setting up a trip wire, throwing down a glow stick to indicate the position, then jumping over it as I run through the alley to my car just feels so fucking sweet.
>>704510036
It isn't impossible. I'm just telling you as someone who moves lbs he has definitely been robbed before if he made it that far into the game. We are always prepared. If he had that much money when he was caught there are 32possibilities.
1- he was heavily armed and going to buy more drugs
2- he had just sold a metricfuckload of something and was headed home to hit the safe
Either way, good distributors don't bring more than they need anywhere for any reason because if they get robbed/arrested it is much easier to start over with a couple grand stored away then with piddly shit / seized assets.
>>704510630
I definitely am as smart as them. It's more about access to resources. But there are many unsolved crimes. Fact is there often isn't good evidence. You can be the smartest man on earth, if all you have is a blurry picture of a guy in a mask there's not much you can do.
>>704510507
This a thousand times over. I couldn't explain with 3 long ass posts what he did real swift
>>704510840
I'm thinking more like rob him when he's heading home after picking up McDonalds. But I think I'd need to torture him to find out where the cash is.
>>704511121
No you wouldn't. Real like isn't like the movies. People will chose their life 9/10 times irl when face with a situation like this.
>>704511121
Getting more logical. I like it. But honestly even if you catch him unprepared and unarmed you will most likely have a verrrry difficult time getting him to lead you to the stash.
>>704508898
First, understand that you will get caught and do time in prison, if you don't get killed first.
Second, find a way to stash/hide what you steal so you'll have money after you get out of prison.
Third, rob banks. Do not use a gun, don't even imply you have one, you don't need to. Always wear a disguise and gloves. Always have two escape plans, always work alone and keep your mouth shut.
With luck, you could hit two or three before you get pinched
>>704510840
This sounds somewhat legit. But I knew a guy who moved weed by the pounds for a couple of years, never got robbed. Depends a lot on the situation
>>704510036
Cause robbing a dealer who can't call the cops turns into a murder investigation, although leaving him alive could be a bad idea also. Depending on how much murders occur in your planned area, will dictate how much attention it will get. If he's in a gang, might not get much at all and snitches wouldn't know shit. Don't brag, it's about money not ego.
>>704511295
Funny, guy right above you thinks he'd just tell. I don't know which it would be. But if I got the guy tied up in his home with a gun in his face I would hope I could get the location. But getting to that point doesn't sound easy.
>>704511409
I don't care about dying. Getting caught would suck though. So long as I'm able to kill myself I'm fine.
>>704510036
>go back to his house
>open door
>2 people look up at you holding their boss, both armed
>OPs face when the realization that he is going to get shot and put his life for a half baked shitty plan
>>704511607
Yeah. I am never sure how I'd do it. Further I park the longer it takes to get to my car. Closer I park the higher the odds my car is seen and connected to the crime.
If I have a realistic mask and my car is out of sight I'd be surprised if they had any way to trace this to me.
>>704511823
That would be awesome. The adrenaline rush alone would be worth it. I don't care if I die. That's half the reason I want to do this shit
Would love to hear more advice. Like on robbing a drug dealer in his home, I'd think about setting up cameras to spy on them to see how many people live there, schedules, etc. Might be difficult to find places to put the cameras, but it's worth investigating.
This is literally the dumbest shit ive ever read. Setting up tripwires? Torturing people for the location of their money???
This doesn't work in real life.
Anyone have experience with burglary or robbery?
>>704512858
Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. That's why I'm here doing research. It sounds like you know a thing or two. What advice can you give?
>>704512858
I agree that trip wires sound retarded, but if someone decided to chase after me as I ran to my car it could be a real help
>>704512266
Doesn't matfer if you want to die, once that realization hits you, you aren't going to be having a "rush". You are going to be in your own personal hell by being in a situation that you will would give anything to be out of.
>>704513479
I doubt it. And I'll be dead in two seconds, so what would it matter?
>>704508898
it's not the romantic lifestyle hollywood makes it out to be.
>>704513652
It could be if I made it so. Put on a sweet costume, talk into my wrist as if I have partners I'm communicating with. That exhilarating feeling getting into my car and driving away.
>>704509341
You want to spend near 1k to maybe get 300 in cash? Smart thinking!
>>704513999
Trips don't lie.
>>704513635
You sound like someone who's never been in any sort of situation like this. Let me tell you, what you think while sitting on the computer and in the actual situation is different. In any life threatening situation you will br pleading with God for your life, and if you think any different I can't take you seriously
>>704514030
My first hit would be a convenience store with a mask I already have. It's just a black mask, not as good as a mask that can pass for a human face, but the first couple hits are just to get experience and get money to spend on supplies.
>>704514240
I've never really been in a situation like this, no. But I'm either killing myself or trying the crime life. I figure the crime life has potential to be fun.
>>704514646
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23GrEhLUF_k
I used to conterferit cash and buy stuff at target, then use the reciept to walk out with double merch, then return the original item and get real cash back. Went to prison for 38 months...
>>704514388
legit either you die first time or you get arrested while trying to an hero
>>704514646
Yeah, and when it actually happens you're going to instantly regret it, and forget all the nights crying to /b/ about wanting to kill yourself and you'll want to live and go back to sitting on your computer. I reccomend you find something else to do. Take some drugs, itll get you started in the criminal community I guess.
>>704514755
Sick beats bro, thanks
>>704514388
do you even have this planned out?
what about cameras? cameras in the parking lot? cameras in the street? cameras in buildings near the place? how are you getting there? how are you going to leave? how do you get there and leave without being seen? what about police response time? what times are busy? what times are slow?
this isn't the fucking movies, kid
there's so much involved and all it can go very wrong very quickly, and very easily when youre in the middle of the shit hopped up on adrenaline
you're probably going to fuck up and go to prison if you aren't some nigger robbing a pajeet in the middle of detroit, in all honesty
>>704514939
No problemo, my niggest crook.
>>704514958
I've thought about cameras. There's a convenience store I picked out. Cameras in the store and possibly at some intersections on the way to / from. But with a mask and the right clothes the cameras in the store are next to useless. I can drive there and back without getting on camera. Not sure what response time is, but the plan is to use zip tie handcuffs to cuff the clerk to something. If no one else is around I get away long before cops are called. And if they are called unless I'm unlucky they wouldn't be there in time.
Part of why I made this thread is to get advice. I'm not claiming to have everything thought out perfectly. I'm here to find out what to do.
>>704512134
You have to steal a getaway car, stupid
What's up with your obsession with the mask dude? If you really want to alter your appeareance it should be to commit violent crimes. With some fake contacts, hair dye, extensions, and putty you can completely hide your identity. The need to conceal alter your face is only necessary for prolonged social engineering / white collar crime.
You want to do violent crimes, nobody better see you, coming or going, and if they do you better kill them.
Don't start out with petty bullshit. You wanna bank, you start out by finding some crackie and get his hook up. Buy a couple rocks and get comfortable with your dealer. Make sure you come off as pathetic and easily manipulated. After a few meets ask him for enough to supply a few of your friends and make some cash...
Once you have him in your confidence you stalk that motherfucker. Be careful and ready to take him out if he catches you. Find his stash house and get the schedule they have down pat.
Once you know exactly how the house runs, either it's locked down and you can take the house or cut your losses and rob him at point.
You wanna rob a convience store for thrills, just go steal and fucking crotch rocket and high speed chase it.
>>704515695
I've thought about this. I'm not sure it's the best route. If I mess up the cops might be looking for me before I even commit the real crime.
>>704515752
Masks conceal your identity, which is a must when entering a business with cameras. Plus it feels like I'm in a movie.
>>704508898
Same story as most - You're bored... The people that get themselves into this kind of shit, its because of need, You're bored. Don't be stupid and mistake the two.
>>704516196
Some idiots get away with this shit. If I put time and effort into this shit I should have a fighting chance. I can do what I want. So why not help?
>>704510036
you sound like a 10 year old cod kid
you will die and that is exactly what you deserve
stop daydreaming lil fag you will never leave the basement
>>704515595
Even if you don't see any cameras you always have to assume there are cameras.
>>704513030
I stopped dealing a year ago. Crime really isn't something you can just jump in to. You have to know people, you have to know things about the life, and you have to be vigilante all the time. Everybody's a snitch in that world. Everybody!
You shouldn't put yourself in a position to be chased. Don't wear a mask that is going to impede your vision and hearing. Senses are everything in a hostile environment.
This isn't a movie and nothing goes according to plan. What can go wrong, will go wrong at the worst possible moment.
Don't go balls to the wall until you know what you're doing. Don't be out at suspicious times. Evening traffic is when I found to be the best time for rule breaking. Don't speed, use your blinkers, wear respectable clothing, and drive a respectable looking vehicle.
Idk what you're gonna end up doing, but this is a good basis for anything really.
were u living?
>>704516610
I live close to businesses. But my building has cameras at every entrance so that's a down side to that. But you can't assume there are cameras everywhere otherwise you're on camera from the point you did the crime to now.
what country mate?
>>704516142
yeah and like in a movie they will catch you with
dna
this thread
trace the gun
have you ever had a fight in your pathetic life ?
do you know what it takes to kill someone?
stop watching movies and accept your shitty life you will never be the hero of the story you just make up
mask mask tripwire I don't care if I get killed target identified
fcking kid
>>704517047
I like this mask. "Give me the money or I shoot myself."
>>704517833
Lol. My dna isn't on file. And I won't leave any. And thinking this thread will do shit lol.
>>704517833
And I haven't really had any fights. When I was 12 though this kid spit on me and I beat the shit out of him. Knocked him to the ground and kicked him in the ribs multiple times. He needed a cast for his wrist after, not sure if I broke it or what.
What me and some friends use to do is rob people who hit jackpots the casino. (Middle of the night). one guy inside waiting for someone to hit a jackpot, do a walk-by and make sure it's at least a couple of thousand dollars. Guy inside texts description of the winner to friends outside waiting in the car. Wait for the winner to come out, follow them, when the moment feels right, block them with the car, go the driver side with a gun and demand the money. Most people always give it up. Only had one guy resist and try to force is car out of our block.
>>704518056
You obviously have no understanding of forensics. have fun in jail
>>704517913
I really hope you're not googling this shit lol
>>704518433
Dude, a few months ago a guy went into a business with no fucking mask just sunglasses. His picture was in the news, but it was low quality. They never caught him. Don't try to pretend like these crime scene guys are that great. There's usually no dna and shit all they can do other than distribute a shit photo and hope someone identifies the guy.
>>704518645
I use yahoo.
I like you guys, whether you help me or hate me.
>>704518056
won't leave any
haha you are don't know shit do you?
the need 1 single fucking cell
you will leave dna trust me
they will use it to make the case watertight
but they will probably catch you because you are fucking naive
I know you are trolling but the shit that comes outta your mouth is damn fucking cringy
mask
cameras
trip wire
no connection to these ppl
no idea how criminals work
I really want to know how old you are
And how often you daydream about being this cool guy you are portraying
Have you ever had a fight?
Do you have balls? (no)
so damn naive and childish
Guys stop falli g for this shitty bait this guy can not be serious
>>704519181
I am serious. If it's at the point that they suspect me and get a warrant for my DNA I've already failed. I'm 26. I don't get into fights. But I'm smart and don't give a fuck anout breaking the rules. I'm here doing research. Sure some of my ideas are fucked. They are ideas. I'm bouncing them off you guys before trying them. It doesn't matter how dumb they are, if they're dumb I just don't do them.
>>704519539
you are not smart. youre "researching" on 4chan
I don't have a history of crime ir violence. Some of you think that means that I can't pull this off. But I think it's an asset. I'm a normal guy. Good job, no criminal history.
>>704519680
And? You think this is bad why exactly?
It's hard to take someone seriously who thinks I'll leave DNA and that that DNA will help them at all.
Why are you doing this? For a thrill, or is it a career choice?
If a career choice, it sounds like you're really naive and don't have the constitution for criminality. You will fail.
If you just want a thrill, mug someone in a parking lot as they're getting into their car.
dont kill people, then you're not just a thief, you're a murderer, and police try 100x more to find murderers
Jaywalk everywhere
>>704509777
check'd
>>704520661
Ideally my crimes would escalate until I'm rich. But it's also just for fun.
>>704508898
Become an investment banker, play the stock market ... wanna be a rich criminal just fuck over other people who throw their money into banks.
>>704520942
Wouldn't really do it for me. Plus I'd be kept up at night thinking about the victims.
>>704510150
Wile E. Coyote
>>704521221
Don't want a career change.
>>704521301
The original. I hope to one day be like him.
>>704508898
OP where are you from? best bet is selling meth. doing burgs and shit is dumb to many verbals. eg dna cams peoples reactions.
>>704517913
Anyone else think this guy looks badass as fuck? Should I dress that way? Is it recognizable?
>>704519539
You don't sound very smart mate.
Stop saying that, smart people are reserved and never claim to be smart.
Everything you said sounds like a naive teenager said it.
Sorry mate you are a joke kys and end it like a man. (I know you are none but it is worth a try )
Yes it does mean how dumb your ideas and questions are.
You do not learn to be a man who can do stuff like that.
You are not that man and you never will be.
You are born smart and tough or you die like the fag you are.
>>704508898
By the way, if and when you get going on something like this, do not forget that you are holding a gun on someone...you can force them do whatever you please, exploit that :)
>>704521391
Then guess what. being a criminal who makes money can't realistically 'focus' on one single career. You will lose focus, and make mistakes. And the motto "don't get caught" with most criminals will say, is thrown out the window when you don't commit.
Only way to make money on the side is to basically buy stolen goods or cheap drugs and resell them for a bit more.
>>704509172
I hope youre talking about an SPFX mask, there are many that claim to be relistic but this is the only kind I've seen that can actually fool people. I highly recommend the black senior.
>>704521642
Selling meth sounds worse to me. Unless you're dealing in big quantities you need to sell to many people always risking arrest. I'd rather take bigger risks fewer times. Plus I'd need to acquire contacts.
this thread has been backtraced;
and reported to the cyber police.
for you OP, the consequences will never be the same
>>704521749
I'm most definitely book smart. Was top of my class in school pretty much from elementary to college. I don't care whether you believe me.
For robbing a convenience store it's just about getting in, getting cash, and getting home without getting caught. I don't need to be some thug to get that to work.
>>704514771
Damn. How long did you get away with it for? What kind of money did you make? What did you do with your free time?
>>704520470
you will moron
you don"t seem to know how much DNa you lose.
puts on gloves
first glove you use your non glove hand.
dna on the outside on your glove
you always lose skin cells no matter what you do unless you are wearing a chemical suit have fun with that while jumping over your trip wire.
gos you are so dumb and navie pls stfu
>>704521687
if you want real advice and some well learnt trick to keep you self on the nose. iv been in the big league for 13 years. i have no criminal charges and have never been accused buy the law to be a dealer.
>>704510150
Kek'd
>>704521934
Those are the ones I'm talking about.
Curious whether I need to be concerned with this being traced to me. If they recognize it as a mask and get the company to tell them who in the city bought such a mask. But with a hood and sunglasses and shitty cams I don't expect this to be an issue
>>704515854
>Not even smart enough to recognize shitposting.
>Thinks he can be a master thief.
>>704508898
Jaywalk.
Spit on sidewalks.
Drive above the speed limit.
Drive without a seatbelt.
Steal individual grapes in the store.
Graffiti a wall with chalk.
There ya go, do all these, and you're a hardened criminal.
>>704522369
And they will match my dna to what and how? And there would be a hundred other people's DNA all over too.
>>704521950
like anything if done right you can make alot of money with in as little as 3 months. i just hooked up a morther of 3 and she has been going steady for 3 months and has moved 52 ozes. she hase $150.000 put away already
>>704522652
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was
>>704509341
what mask?
>>704519539
Jesus Christ. This is like the setup for a Mac episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".
>>704508898
Lmmfao at this wanna be stick up kid faggot.
Sure bitch....just go try and rob any random drug dealer...
>see your death on the nightly news kek
>>704522899
Perhaps this one
http://www.spfxmasks.com/player.php#8
>>704523203
Mac is awesome.
your best bet is to rob drug dealers
>they can't go to the police
but if and when they find you, prepare to have your face and life ruined.
I've been in and out of jail since i was a kid.
what I've been caught for is nothing compared to what I should be in prison for. thank jeebus.
aside from being edgy, what makes you think you can even live this kind of life?
Come rob my store OP. I'll shoot you in the goddamn face.
>>704523502
Why wouldn't I be able to?
>>704523557
Address and city?
>>704508898
If you got to ask for advice on /b/, you'll get killed rather soon than later anyways; trying to rob some nigger dealer.
rob a police station
>>704523698
I wouldn't try that first. Gotta work my way up.
>>704523752
Do they have good stuff?
>>704508898
>I want to become a criminal.
Be a politician and run for office.
>>704510633
hahah le autistic robber
>>704522798
$150.00 sounds like a job well fucked up dipshit........kek
>at $150 for 52oz, that's a little less than $3/oz. Another 20k OZ, and she'll have just shy of $60k.
>found a real winner dipshit...in no time you'll be nothingaires.
>>704523868
Not my type of thing
>>704523868
This
op I've got 122 felony convictions for burglary, theft, and armed robbery. I got sentenced to 14 years in 2006. Just got out in may.I'm on parole until 2020. The only reason I got caught is because somebody I did a few jobs with got caught and wrote an 80 page statement against me. Its not worth it dude. I had quit about a month before I got arrested, I had bleeding stomach ulcers from the stress. I was paranoid all the time. Its no way to live man and it wasnt worth all of my 20's. Just go to school or something
>>704523661
>>704514646
go start up bar fights. got my ass kicked a few times. was sort of fun.
>>704523502
>Trying to be this hard on an internet image board....zozzle!
>>704523987
>I've got 122 felony convictions
kek
>>704523934
He uses . as ,
He means $150,000. Not sure you got that
>>704524120
No, I get he's fukn retarded is what I got. With a whole $150
>>704523987
I already have a decent career. I was about to kill myself but decided I'd rather live life like a video game.
>>704524120
the countries that do not have meth use . instead of ,
>>704523987
>suuuuure
Zozzle
>>704523987
why didn't you listen to your gut that your partner couldn't be trusted?
white collar crime is the most lucrative and has the most lenient sentences.
>>704523885
Exactly. Helpa brutha out
>>704523601
anyone can try. Jail is full of people who've tried.
here are the criminal(ish) things i'd first recommend first before you ever try using a firearm in the commission of a crime:
shoplifting. get a pair of wire cutters and go to your local target or Walmart. grab a medium sized tv, or small appliance and get it to an isle near the door. snip the spyder alarm off it and walk out the door. carry a receipt in hand. walk fast to your car, which you've parked a few blocks away. profit.
shoplifting is the safest and most profitable solo crime.
then of course there's always scams but you gotta have the right kind of personality for that.
i have more stuff too OP
>>704524354
Ok, so anon has 150000 pesos....
>kek
>>704524310
lol you're a piece of shit. Ruining other peoples day/life just because you can't figure your own out. An hero.
>>704523752
>>704523844
when i was younger me and 'friends' would find parked police cars and pop the trunk and steal all the goodies. fun times.
>>704524532
Not interested in that shit. So long as I can kill myself I'm good. Scary to think I might fail at that, but that's another problem.
>>704524462
Because you're a fkn faggot that seems to actually believe that shit.
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Go to bed....you have school in the morning.
>>704524462
he was cool until he started doing meth. he lost his wig and we split ways. He got caught burglarizing and bar and ratted me and three other guys out for a reduced sentence.
>>704524571
I don't give a shit. You are all swine
>>704524743
How would you ever get in a situation where you can't kill yourself?
>>704509996
The worst kind of criminal. . .
>>704524810
>lost his wig
Confirmed trap loving cock smoker
If you rob a drug dealer, you're gonna get fucking shot. Rot in hell.
>>704524841
Well, someone gets my gun, a cop hits me with a taser, who knows what could happen.
>>704524826
Says the one that is suicidal. Should just end it before you fail at it like everything else you do.
>>704515595
I guarantee you are wrong. More often than not businesses invest in some kind of security camera (if not for loss prevention than for insurance breaks) but you're just too stupid to find them.
Assuming the clerk doesn't have a fucking .45 behind the counter (he does), he has a silent alarm he can trigger without you knowing. He won't let you cuff him without a struggle. Given that you are asking /b/ for advise on how to commit crimes it's a fair assumption that you're a softbody bitch who would lose a fight.
Irregardless of all that, any cashup operation has drops at least once a day, if not multiple times a day. Most places don't keep more than a couple hundred dollars in the register and maybe a couple hundred more in a loan drawer. Assuming the cash from the previous business day hasn't been taken offsite (which it would be) then you're still looking at like a grand.
All told you would probably make less than 1500. However, the cost of taking your assault, robbery, and weapons charges would cost considerably more than that.
It's a lot easier to make money legitimately than to commit crimes. There's a reason only stupid niggers and greasy junkies do it.
>>704524743
then rob a bank faggot. you don't even need a firearm. just a note to the tell will do.
>>704525051
This would prevent you from killing yourself in what way? Just do it when you get a chance after you've been arrested.
>>704524974
> 2016
> believing in hell
shiggity diggity
>>704524743
>>704524841
Because op
Thread is so full of autism....im out.
L8r Nigger loving jew faggots who think they're hard.
>>704525129
Not very reliable.
>>704525083
I don't fail at what I do. I am killing myself for reasons unrelated to failure.
>>704525340
How do you figure? Unless you're bound, gagged, and under direct observation 24/7, you'll have your chance sooner rather than later.
ITT: kids that watch too many movies
>>704525103
That's half of why I'm here. Looking for advice. Maybe convenience stores aren't the best target. But they seem pretty easy.
>>704525499
Would you take a second to enlighten me?
How is deciding death over life not a direct result of failing?
>>704508898
just go hit up a fucking 7 11 real quick, post results, and shut the fuck up
>>704525620
Suicide isn't as easy as you think.
>>704521934
That is amazing. I need one of these. You could do so much.
>>704525792
headbutt a pen through your eye when youre given something to sign
>>704521950
okay ill put it simply. you come to me i set you up with a cash loan from a real company for $3800.00 no matter credit rating because its not going off your past they send email of loan approved we go to my boys and you get your first oz and you dont have to worrie about giving them money cause the account the loan company sends it to is theirs. i hook you up with 3 noms and they will be your sale reps. this is all done with in 6 hr. and you start making money straight after that. lets say you sell all at the min you will have $8000.00 in hand. this will not take you very long at all at most 2 days. in just 2 day you have made over doulbe the oz price. you put $7600 in for reload that 2 oz so 16 balls. you have $400 spending cash or saving normaly but half away. so say it take you 4 days to sell and reload you will have total of 8.800 cash in hand. never buy more then 2 b at a time cause if u have to dumb it becomes to coastly. now lyou have 8.800 then every 4 days you make anothe 8.400+8.800 = $17.200 +4days =25.600 so on so on
I know of a liquor that sells drugs and what not or a bodega as they're called in New York but I'm in Southern California it's in a gang infested neighborhood and there's always cops there so it's a pretty dumb target people always drinking outside too
>>704525728
Life is boring. I don't like waking up in the morning. Life just doesn't seem worth it. It would take a long time to explain why I want to die. I hate my mother. She was a real bitch growing up. I want adrenaline. I used to do a lot of dangerous stuff for adrenaline. But it's not enough. Life is so long. Like fuck. I don't want to live forever. I want to feel like James Bond for a bit then die.
>>704525717
It's not about if it's a convenience store or not. It operates the same as any retail shop. They all have basically the same procedures. Bigger stores have more money, but you aren't able to control anyone. Banks are out of the question because this isn't a fucking Michael Bay movie.
Stop being a nigger and get a real job. If you're hellbent on making money doing illegal shit then sucking dick is your only option.
>>704525340
You're an idiot.
>>704526106
How do you find buyers?
>>704526106
so whats that 14 days for 25.600 cash money. now i know cop rearly will rade a house that has less the 4 oz
>>704526309
$3800/oz
We don't get real drugs in my country, what are you dealing?
(not OP btw)
>>704526309
post it to swap n shop pages on facebook
>>704508898
Grow shrooms, and sell in bulk. A dry kg sells for 7500 if you have a buyer in the proper market.
It's not that exciting, though. I dress in a suit, travel roughly 110 miles, have lunch and catch up with an old friend, and leave with a suitcase that looks just like mine.
Continue..
>>704526309
like i said i would set you up with 3 noms. they will be on the streets getting you sales.build contacts
>>704525792
Actually, it's just not as hard as you think. People use makeshift weapons in prison on each other, too, all the time, why wouldn't you be able to apply one to yourself? Or nab some choice cleaning chemicals to chug when you get a chance. As a last resort, you can always just pick a time where you expect no one's going to be checking up on you for a bit, bite your own tongue off, and bleed out.
If you can't even come up with ways to an hero in a pinch, you probably don't have the right kind of mind to be planning out a successful life of solo dirty work-tier crime.
>>704526202
I have a real job and make good money. It's more about wanting a more exciting life and getting easy money. I have a mortgage and a sports car and spending money. But I want to feel my heart racing. I want to see a pile of cash that I didn't earn. I want to walk around in my daily life knowing it's all a cover for my life of crime.
>>704508898
Rob a sperm bank armed with a spoon.
Believe me, you will get caught or killed. I spent 14 years in the federal pen for basically starting out doing what you are wanting to do then running drugs up the west coast. I had over a million berried in my yard when the feds showed up at my door and they had been watching my every move for 6 month and new exactly where all my cash was. If I ever ran across a little shit like you, you would be dead and if you killed me the rest of the club would find you and make you eat your dick.
>>704526515
yeah i know but he should be able to read this. i live in western Australia it is METH amphetamines
Stake out a cvs or small Walgreens for a few days, rob them at the right time. You'll be caught if you're a dumbass
>>704526635
None of these are very pleasant or reliable. I don't want to resort to that.
>>704526546
lmao, getting 7.60 a gram for shrooms? you must not be growing that many or have limited space. We grew 100s of dried lbs and wholesales for like 4 bucks a gram.. still pretty high far as im concerned
>>704526162
That is your reasoning? Seriously?
How do you not see that you are failing in some way? Get the fuck over your problems. You seem like a real shit stain. Go lift. Join a private military contract. Get your short bond-like life. Why are you settling for less than what you know youre worth? Fuck you for not trying
>>704526764
i have been doing this 16 years and if you follow the rule the club has you will not get court
>>704526637
You are an enormous faggot. Sucking dick is the obvious career path for you. With any luck some big nigger bull will put a bullet in your fucking head.
>>704508898
Find events were young low payed workers are handling large amounts of cash like fairs, carshows, ect, basically anything with ticket booths that is in a small town. Either wait util its pretty slow or until they have someone come to do a drop. make sure that your get away route is in opposite direction of the mass of people. flash a gun tell them to give you the money. Have someone in a car near enough but not in view of person. They are young
(stupid) and payed next to nothing so 9/10 times if you tell them not to fucking move or make a scene they wont. Until you leave at least, but by then youl be gone leaving basically no evidence. That or knock over the main offce at the end of the day, but thats higher risk.
This taking place in a smaller town is important because they wont use cameras, excessive security, or accept cards so it will be all cash. It will only be a few thousand, but the risk is very low.
>>704526862
I'm not failing in any way. Life just isn't very appealing to me. I don't really see what makes you people so attached to it. Like sometimes shit is fun. But every god damn day I need to wake up. I'd love to spend a few months just sleeping.
>>704526922
Not a faggot, only attracted to women.
>>704519181
>they need one fucking cell
Now you both sound cringey as fuck. You people realize that forensics are weak as shit in court and they very very very rarely use that shit because it's expensive, time consuming, and a flawed science.. right?
>>704527262
sell your car and your house and get a goddamn cardboard box then.
>>704526843
but getting gang raped by a bunch of drug dealers sounds like a great idea?
>>704523502
Only the stupid ones get caught. Disregard anything this fag has to say.
>>704527262
A) Get help, you have a mental illness.
B) Kill yourself, you fucking idiot.
YOU MUST PICK ONE
>>704527454
I like my condo and my car. Boxes don't really appeal to me.
>>704527621
You really sound like the worst kind of fucking asshole.
Give all your shit away, and then join the army.
>>704527423
>Well in that case that changes the entire scope of this conversation. You're the next Pablo Escobar.
Kill yourself, dicknose.
>>704527501
No, but that's not a fate I envision.
>>704508898
Ok please tell me the name of the girl in this picture D:
>>704526465
they have done studys in W.a were they test the sewer water and have averaged 2.5 ton of meth use here that puts the average at 65% population are users. with such high coustmer number they fine you as well.
>>704522868
Underrated post
>>704527621
neither does life you fuck
>>704509341
>lose my virginity
>>704526546
lmao, what a faggot you are, they cost $100 an ounce everywhere I ever lived, nigga, that's only 3200 dollars.
Who the fuck are you buying from, niggers?
>>704527618
A) possibly
B) no u
>>704527724
You have to be 18 to post here.
>>704510036
this fucking guy
>>704527765
Alex Tanner
>>704527805
Crime virginity. I like colorful language.
>>704527893
I'm 26 bro
>>704527865
>no u
But I'm not a fucking retard asking for help with 'being a criminal' on fucking 4chan you complete dumbass.
Drink bleach immediately.
benefit with say comming to me to start off is you tell ppl that ot is not your stuff its the clubs stuff only losse as fuck cunt will even think about screwing around
>>704528084
If you actually are 26, kill yourself even more.
But seriously, fuck off you underage turd.
>>704528120
What???
>>704527852
When did I say I buy them..?
Get paypal money fag, less risk robbing paypal cash
>>704528231
I am 26. Been coming here since I was 18.
>>704528149
>>704528120
do you ride a motorcycle?
>>704508898
as a security contractor for commercial/industrial spaces, a burglary would be very easy to do if you know the security system. knowledge is the key
>>704528335
Kill yourself.
You are literally stupid.
>>704528340
no i ride a fucken tooth fairy. what do u think princess
>>704508898
Commit suicide immediately, you fucking degenerate.
>>704528425
You can't bother me by calling me stupid. I know I'm smart. My crime ideas are out there, but not stupid. They're badass af.
>>704528503
Yo chill out man I'm just asking because I'm aware of the crazy-ass rules in place for motorcycle gangs over there.
I mean like, do you deal drugs off your motorcycle or do you go low key in a ute or something.
I own 5 bikes
>>704528536
Just to piss you off I won't kill myself ever.
>>704528604
>I know I'm smart.
Why don't you have money then?
I'm honestly glad I stayed up for this thread.
7/10
Good time.
>>704528790
I do have money. But I could have more. And half of what I want is excitement.
>>704528658
braah. He's only a meth dealer.
>>704528882
Just fuck off already you stupid cunt
>>704528814
I'm not trolling. I'm just a crazy guy.
>>704528924
????
>>704528937
U first
>>704528955
>>crazy kid
>>ftfy
>>704528372
>this
As a security guard I can agree. If you can figure out my patrol times (even though I do them as random as possible) and camera locations, layout of the building, doors, and route to the nearest highway, you're good. I'm armed, and I'll put up a fight if I see you before you see me, but I don't get paid nearly enough to throw my life away and die for a company. Catch a guard by surprise and he'll throw his hands up 99% of the time. And generally won't care to move until you're long gone. But where I'm at, unless you've got a team and a semi, you're not making much, unless you think you can carry a couple hundred pounds of scrap copper, aluminum and other metals on you.
>>704528335
post a timestamped picture of your chin with this post number on it
or you are a child
>>704524743
You're a bitch
>>704528658
im calm lol just the way i talk. and dont call the gangs plz gangs are for niggers a wannabes we are a clube.i dont sell drug okay the person funding the product only has to pick up product and cash then gives it to the noms and they do the foot work. "well that what facebooks told me"
>>704529086
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23GrEhLUF_k
>>704529056
I've been shaving for 14 years. Not really a kid brah
>>704529162
I just shaved. Or I would
>>704529245
goddamn skinheads
>>704528924
no buddy i do not take part in any illegal activity's
>>704529212
>we are a club
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
>>704529278
You're not me. I'm OP. Will post in a min
>>704526849
Regardless of how much I produce, it's always been 7500/kg between us, no more/less in either case. And frankly, i'm fine going home with 7500 a few times per year. That's yearly property tax set aside, and bills covered for a few months, per trip.
>>704529402
now, A paranoid meth dealer
>>704529278
You are a child.
The only way you can prove otherwise is just that, by fucking proving it.
>OP isa nigger
>OP trying to be Omar
>>704529469
>>704529531
I thought I wasn't OP
>>704529465
lil hint buddy if you read it in a book or on fb then it not your fault if its misleading or bad
>>704515595
>but the plan is to use zip tie handcuffs to cuff the clerk to something.
There is zero chance of someone who works night shift at a gas station just letting you do this without a fight.
>>704529502
no under the OHS act a person in a social club are not aloud to hand out pain killers
>>704529162
It's flipped but there
>>704529718
With a gun on them they're unlikely to put up a fight
>>704529502
im not paranoid. that would involve me not knowing what is happing lol
>>704529927
I look forward to seeing you on one of those shows about stupid criminals.
>>704530050
I look forward to being a millionaire
>>704509341
you do realize that the sellers of those 1k plus masks give the police your info at the drop of a hat right?
>>704530172
from petty crimes?
>>704529927
>OP unknowingly accepts a contract from Cartel de norte and expects to come out on top
>>704530210
But that's assuming they figure out it's a mask
>>704530271
Start out small. Get bigger.
>>704530358
thats what you tell the girls right?
>>704529804
It would honestly have been less depressing if you weren't telling the truth. However facepalm-worthy it may be, making a thread like this is understandable from some underaged brat. If you're actually twenty-six and trying to do this shit with your Hollywood-level knowledge of crime, I kind of just feel bad for you. You might be smart, in the same sort of way that an autistic kid who thinks nothing of shitting himself in public might still be able to mentally calculate the cubic root of a twelve-digit number in a couple of seconds, but you don't have the brain for this kind of shit.
That said, it's not like it's going to be a big loss when you inevitably blow it, so go down doing what you daydream about loving, I guess.
>>704530271
Like if I play my cards right I could end up doing anything.
another fun fact kids. ever get caught doing some thing illegal before getting handcuffed yell out that the aliens are chasing you. buy law the police officers are not aloud to hand cuff you and you will not be arrested because you have to have a mental evaluation done to see if you are legally capable to determent the difference between right and wrong
>>704530461
Dude, you're just a hater. I'm sorry I am doing group discussions before just jumping into crime.
>>704508898
>A drug dealer was arrested in my city and $70K cash was found in his home. I'd love to find someone like that.
lol, you're basically already dead, homie.
>>704522592
>SPFX mask
you need to be concerned. Minutes after you rob a convenience store the police will be in contact with them to get your info
>>704530676
>calling people "haters" at age twenty-six
>>704530605
And then?
>>704530754
But only if they recognize it as a mask
>>704530794
How old is T-Swift?
>>704508898
You should suck at least one dick and see how you like before you set yourself a course that will likely end in prison.
>>704530752
We're all pretty much dead.
>>704530676
he is doing group chat about what if he was to do crime. other wise you would be planning it and that is what they call organised crime
>>704509861
ah, and now the niggers have become the niggees.
>>704508898
Niggers are incredibly dumb and are the easiest targets. Never fight fair.
What do you want to do? What's your goal in this? If you just want to do dumb, violent shit - if you want to kill people and blow shit up - join the Marines, go infantry.
>>704530908
I don't know, because I don't care about pop idols, because I'm not in middle school.
>>704531008
I want to live a double life so that every moment of my life I'm pretty much a secret agent. And get money.
>>704530798
and no and then because at this time you are crazy but the good thing about being crazy is you dont know that your crazy :0
>>704530976
good one edgelord, think you'd keep that attitude after catching the worst beating of your life, right before taking 2 to the back of the head?
My money's on no.
>>704509341
>dropping $1000 on a mask that will become the ID for a convenience store robbery
>>704531513
With a hood and sunglasses the hope is that it wouldn't be identified as a mask
I'm off to bed. You're pretty fucked in the head. It's been glorious. I'm going to sleep for a month because I can.
8/10
would bread again
OP here,
Thanks for all of your comments and suggestions. I've gone through everything and I've come to the conclusion that I don't really know what I'm getting myself into. I'm instead going to try to live a normal life and maybe go to school for Nursing.
>>704531406
If I'm pointing a gun at them I assume they'd be shooting to kill and not beating me up
>>704522226
>am smart
>am going to rob a convenience store
>am not even contemplating the gun behind the counter
>am only concerned with getting caught
>am reel smart i promise
>>704531685
I miss IDs. You are not OP. I am OP
>>704531685
JESUS CHRIST
>>704508898. start by ripping off those mattress tags....yeah that's it
>>704531124
Then go special forces and try to get into the CIA afterwards. Be a reservist so you can go to college part time.
For USMC that means recon or scout/sniper. Don't know about the other branches.
If you want to get into armed robbery, you need to think about it rationally.
You may be smarter than most cops, but you're not smarter than all cops working together. Who are the cops least likely to pay attention to? Nogs and illegals. Drug dealers to a lesser degree.
Guns are dangerous, easily traced. You could kill house-loads of people with just a tank of carbon monoxide and some hose, then rob their house at your leisure (assuming it's cold so niggers close the windows and doors). Bear in mind that niggers keep real nigger hours - everyone out after 3 AM is probably a felon in nog hoods.
My advice: don't do it, not worth the risk. Just get a normie job and girlfriend and fuck bitches on the side to get your secret agent fix.
>>704531785
OP confirmed to be fag
>>704531762
I would love for him to have a gun. It would be an adrenaline rush.
>>704531762
you are getting done for orginsed grim.
>>704531834
that isn't illegal if the consumer does it.
>>704522226
Like, everyone's saying you're going to die, it's a bad plan, and don't do it. But you're sooo smart you're going to ignore all that. Literally all the advice on the image board you came to do research on.
I say you do it. one less in the world.
>>704531856
Too much work. Too boring. I want to add to my life, not remove everything. I'm not quitting my job unless I'm rich.
>>704531877
lol
>am 2 smart
> 12yr old has been playing too much Payday
> 2 edgy for lyf
> someone please pay attention
> /thread
>>704514646
Living the crime life for FUN?
Do you think it is some kind of game?
>>704531993
Well if you're going to do something criminal, do it well.
>>704514771
How did you get caught?
SHIT
