ITT we announce our super powers while others give restrictions.
I'll start:
Infinite money
>>703848099
terminally ill
>>703848099
>Infinite money in pennies
>>703848099
small dick
Ability to fly
means
infinite tax for government
infinite welfare for niggers
infinite housing for illegals
your superpower is shiart.
Mine is infinitely charming to any female I choose.
>>703848468
.. half an inch above the ground.
>>703848468
Can only fly for 0.1 seconds.
>>703848486
>infinitely charming to any female I choose.
... but can't get an erection.
My power is being able to turn water into beer.
>>703848099
The world switches to a universal digital currency, and your infinite supply of cash is useless.
Mine: Can pause time and interact with anyone or anything without their knowledge.
>>703848779
Beer is flat
>>703848099
is faggot
>>703848362
>>703848415
These are stupid answers with no effort put into them.
>>703848779
But you can only turn it into a rich stout with a 13% abv.
>>703848779
You can't turn it off.
>>703848779
Only non alcoholic beer
>>703848816
You age at 10 times the normal rate while time is frozen for you
>>703848468
Inside a plane
>>703848468
>>703849093
only able to fly over new york
I can reverse entropy.
>>703848779
All water you touch turns to beer, including showers.
ability to talk to animals
Can see into other peoples vision.
Ability to successfully smuggle anything in my ass
>>703848099
Only Zimbabwe money
Have the power to read people's mind
>>703849332
Can only use insults which results in the animals attacking you.
>>703849369
>but you can never stop talking about what it is you have up your ass
>>703849332
But can't understand what they are saying to you
Able to go back in time so I'm not so socially retarded
>>703848779
Can only turn it into Iron Flats brand
>>703849366
Only if they see you
>>703849369
every time you do, you maintain a massive erection through the whole process.
Dick never bleeds during masturbation and no refractory period
>>703849366
Only if they're looking at Donald trump r34
>>703849386
only able to read sexual thoughts
>>703849516
Become more socially retarded whenever you use the power.
>>703848779
Beer is Budweiser
>>703848486
Only to aborigine women
>>703848099
Can only spend it on used lube
The power to shoot sand from my eyes.
>>703849603
aw fuck
>>703849332
They all ignore you.
>>703848468
Into a building
>>703849386
They are fully aware that you are doing it
Can move things with my mind
>>703849746
Have to eat sand to shoot sand.
>>703848099
Asexual
>>703849746
And turn into a sand nigger
>>703849581
Isn't that good, though? Easier to judge what a gril thinks of you, no?
>>703849746
Become blind in the process.
>>703848099
you can only get it 1 penny at a time per second.
>>703849746
>The power to shoot sand from my eyes.
one grain will get stuck in each eye forever everytime you do it.
The ability to control smells.
>>703849746
It only travels a few inches
>>703849386
Everyone's mind is a different "language." You have to learn the "language" of each individual mind or else it's all just gobbledegook.
The ability to survive without food or drink.
The ability to browse on Reddit while 4chan doesn't know I'm on it
>>703849553
Only works when looking at furry porn
>>703850028
Still feel hunger, and thirst.
>>703850050
You can't lie to your parents about being gay
The ability to erase my dumbass descisions from the timeline completely
>>703849603
>>703850028
But still have to shit the equivalent of your body weight in excrement a day.
>>703849553
Good thing it never bleeds. There's no refractory period because once it goes, it never stops. Ever, until your death. Just a constant dribble.
Keep up on those fluids!
>>703849858
But you must be high and drunk as shit to use power
Complete control over the concept of death
>>703849993
kek
>>703849858
Body becomes useless and shuts down whenever you use the ability.
>>703850167
Only for 10sec and everything resumes back to normal
>>703848099
Max limit of $100 per purchase.
>>703848468
No ability to land.
>>703848486
You're gay.
>>703848779
Not at will. Your body turns to 70% beer and you die.
>>703849332
They all speak a language you don't.
>>703849366
Only if they're within your line of sight
>>703849369
Inability to remove it from your ass.
>>703849386
But only when they're thinking about how much they hate you.
Ability to make people poop on command.
>>703850266
You're dead already
The ability to prolapse any orifice
The power to be immortal at teh age of 16.
>>703850347
makes u poop whenever u make someone else
>>703850319
What does this mean? I can only ease bouts of ten seconds?
>>703848099
You can't spend it on women... their bills, drinks, food, clothes, gas, or education
>>703850379
Dies before 16.
>>703849946
That's still 60 cents a minute, or 36 bucks an hour. Even if you have to be active to do it you could work an 8 hour day and live comfortably. You could try whatever you wanted, knowing that if you failed you could go back to pinching pennies.
If you didn't have to actively take the pennies, then it would be pretty sweet; every day you'd get tax-free ~$850.
>>703849052
We have a fucking winner
>>703850438
Let's see him some top notch pussy from that
>>703850347
You have an insatiable urge to eat it afterwards.
>>703848099
You're subject to infinite inflation.
>>703850233
o shit
>>703849366
As long as they're looking into your eyes
i can create anything from nothing.
>>703850347
the smell follows you wherever you go forever, and other people can smell it too.
>>703850379
You're stuck at 16. You can't vote, nobody takes you seriously, you have to hide eating and drinking, you have to spend eternity around a bunch of vapid 16-year olds.
>>703850377
It only works on your family members.
>>703850379
>must be 21
>>703850167
You remove those dumb decisions, but now you never made those decisions, so you don't have to remove them, so you don't remove them, so you did make those decisions etc etc etc
Caught in a causality loop.
>>703850266
But only the concept, not death itself.
>>703850417
Yup only erase 10sec but everything turns back to normal
Ability to make girl pregnant on command.
>>703850590
But you shit fully grown live beavers
>>703850590
Your sex life
>>703850590
But must already have the thing you want to create and can only create it once
>teleportation
I can cure autism
>>703850590
The instantaneous creation of matter in space results in a pressure shockwave because of the insane potential energy involved in doing this.
You have to use your powers in a vacuum to use them safely.
>>703850148
I love you
>>703850739
>>703850726
>>703850707
i give up fuck you guys.
>>703850590
You are unable to possess anything physical.
>>703850763
Can only teleport 5 feet away
ability to an hero on command
>>703850680
The baby is black but she insists it's yours
>>703850763
Can only teleport exactly where you are
>>703850680
Gotta pay child support.
>>703850680
You become pregnant instead
>>703850802
But you turn more autistic the more you use it.
>>703850802
On everyone outside of you.
Being able to wear a fedora and still look cool
>>703850680
With a baby with down syndrome that looks like you and pings positive on a parternity test.
>>703850680
They all end up getting abortions.
>>703848779
It's store brand.
>>703850863
Jokes on you I'm black : D
>>703850802
Those cured are susceptible to all preventable diseases.
>>703850924
Everyone is blind
The ability to have completely quiet, odorless farts.
>>703851008
Lmao
>>703850862
But no one will care.
>>703850924
Nobody takes an interest.
time freeze and un-freeze ofc
The ability to control my dog from his perspective
>>703850862
Nobody notices.
The ability to change any rule and standards for anyone including myself
>>703851057
but after farting you always shit in your pants
>>703851008
Nice so ill be able to fuck people and rob them
>>703851057
But people always think other people farts come from you.
>>703851057
You shit yourself everytime you fart.
>>703851057
But forced to fart every 40 seconds.
>>703850924
You're frozen to death inside a block of ice.
>>703848099
I can make America great again.
>>703849591
Kek
>>703851120
you can only freeze time once a year
Ability to eat as much as you want without getting fat.
>>703851148
I win
>>703851120
You freeze with everything else.
>>703850802
>>703851057
You make a face like you are taking a crippling shit every time you fart.
>>703851120
You can only do it to throw steam rollers at people
>>703851261
Other western countries suffer because of it.
>>703851314
The reason you don't get fat is because you die from food poisoning
ability to adjust dick length/girth based on partners preference
>>703851314
You must eat healthy foods only or you will die.
>>703851148
Karma ensures that whatever your desired result of those changes, the opposite happens.
>>703851396
One time use afterwards you die
>>703851396
But you can't have sex with humans
>>703851314
Become anorexic.
>>703851396
Partners are ducks
>>703851396
You have a vagina and you're a man-hating lesbian.
>>703848099
my super ability is pissing in my pants
Ability to stop and start time while not being stopped myself
>>703850633
why do you have to hide eating?
>>703851463
I chose not to change that rule applied to my power so it does change it (does that work)
>>703851396
"Hey babe can you grow your dick 6 inches?"
"Here babe"
"Great! Now I have seven inches to work with!"
ability to adapt every situation so there are no weaknesses
ability to shit yourself in any situation
>>703851120
You rapidly become bored with your godlike existence and fall into a deep depression, eventually spending more and more time doing hard drugs and drinking yourself half to death while time is frozen.
You spend days of your time at a time while time is frozen in useless bouts of self-destruction, never quite killing yourself, but becoming further and further removed from the world. Each time you emerge days have passed for you and everyone else is always full of energy, wondering why you are always so tired and worn out. Eventually you spend so much time frozen that your loved ones notice you aging before them.
You cope by committing more and more degenerate acts as your freeze time, only to have sudden bouts of clarity wherein you realize the horror of what you have done and become afraid of the consequences that will follow when you unfreeze time.
Eventually you lapse into solipsism, deciding to keep time frozen forever. Your last conscious thought is to wonder whether or not the universe will go on without you. The question remains unanswered as you pass into oblivion.
The ability to vote for a trustworthy presidential candidate
>>703850924
You have to be wearing a black Sonic x Rainbow Dash ship shirt whenver you wear it, and it's uncensored fucking.
>>703851647
Can only piss in your pants.
>>703851647
You wear your pants on your head and you're retarded.
>>703851727
In a monarchy society
>>703851675
you live a very comfortable life where you really never need to use this
>>703849174
for each 0.1 sec of use, your body temperature increases by 1 degree celcius
Invisibility
>>703850885
That's how I always win the wicher board game
>>703851675
Basically the guy from xmen first class
You suck and die
>>703851668
If you chose not to alter a rule or standard, your power doesn't take effect and things happen normally. Ergo, should you chose not to change that rule, it remains in effect.
>>703851889
Only emotionally
Ability to have anybody's mom to have sex with me
>>703851889
once you go visible again you die.
>>703851889
Make loud farting noises everytime you turn invisible.
My super power is being white.
>>703849332
that you have fucked
>>703852020
once they are dead.
The ability to shit fully frown live beavers at any moment without the process hurting me.
>>703852020
But you can only bust a nut in your own.
>>703851702
You have an accident and they have to remove your rectum. Good news is that you now have a tube and sweet new plastic companion bag!
ABILITY TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
>>703851793
Saying this just makes my ability the most epic
>able to piss in pants on my head
>am retarded
>retarded has the ability and accuracy to piss in his pants on his head
>>703852020
Lose all sensation to your dick and can't ejaculate.
>>703852176
but other countries become 100x greater
i have the power to make anyone's power boring
>>703849369
can't remove for three weeks after insertion
>>703852095
You're living in Bratislava as a drugged up slav.
>>703852095
In a tumblr inspired dystopian future
>>703852277
>>703852324
Still not black, feels good man
>>703852269
Everytime you do an entire river enters your ass
The ability to have a qt3.14 gf
>>703852106
kek
The ability to shit fully grown live beavers without the process hurting me
The power to know people's feelings for me
>>703852429
at least i'll stay hydrated
>>703852456
the rest of pi is her number in lbs
>>703852274
He could smuggle a skyscraper in his ass you realize it will be comfortable because he has the ability to sneak anything in his ass so for him it would be nothing I wouldn't be as big as a babies crap
>>703852462
the ones you haven't shat build a dam in your intestines
>>703852495
>no one likes you
>>703852176
But all Americans die.
>>703852495
Only the bad feelies
>>703851261
Your hair isn't very great, and people make fun of you for it.
>>703852495
If you try talking to them, you begin to frantically stutter and can't mutter the words out no matter how hard you try.
>>703852495
become the opposite sexuality of your crushes sex
>>703852462
When they go back up, its unbearably painful.
>>703852583
Ever wonder how Carmen Sandiego did it all?
Ability to change reality at will.
pussy magnet
and teleport behind you
>>703852799
in a video game
>>703852808
literal cats
>>703851120
You don't actually freeze time, but merely perceive it as frozen as you accelerate yourself to just barely underneath the speed of light. "Unfreezing" means returning to normal speed, which will have massive physics-induced consequences for yourself and everything and everyone around you when it happens.
>>703852697
They hate being around you
>>703852808
Only if the girls themselves are over 300 lbs
>>703852799
But only your own
>>703852808
Pussy = slang for cats
Ability to allways get dubs
>>703852826
can*
>>703849858
You become paralyzed
>>703851396
Your ability to acquire said partner remains unchanged.
>>703848099
it's in bitcoins
>>703848468
can only fly indoors
>>703849332
responding to them spreads a vocal cord disease that almost instantly turns your pets into zombies
>>703852535
oh....
>>703852927
this post speaks for itself
>>703849038
He said restriction, not bonus
>>703852597
One step ahead of you
>>703852677
Shit, I'm already an ass-burger when talking
>>703852624
:(
>>703852697
Now if only she was bi
>>703851889
Your breathing becomes labored.
>>703851314
cant taste food
>>703852826
no one is there for you to teleport behind
>>703852912
Hey, that's still pretty good.
>>703852868
I wouldn't mind this, could use it to play of my favorite games.
Ability to turn 1gram of 15gram diamond into a bulletproof vest.
can get dubs at will
>>703852808
Your body functions as a literal magnet for pussies. It is not selective in which kinds of pussies it attracts, and you have no ability to turn the magnetism off, ensuring any pussy attracted is stuck to you for eternity.
>>703848816
But you can never touch someone without them immediately disintegrating
>>703853212
you can only get cubic zirconium
>>703850347
You have to eat their poop to use the power again
The power to shit myself on command
I gain the ability to do absolutely nothing at a moment's notice.
>>703853360
which hole though ;)
Power to turn anyone gay.
>>703853381
You are stuck doing nothing until the end of time
The ability to be immune to everything, so i can be immune to bullets, aging, death and etc etc
>>703853360
Over use of the command loosens your anus allowing feces to fall out of it throughout the day.
>>703853212
Everyone will uncontrollably call you a fag until you take it off
>>703853381
everything is suddenly too interesting to stop
The ability to be a Jew.
>>703853441
All of them
>>703853451
They immediately try to rape you in the ass.
>>703853360
Shits will always hurt
>>703853451
You yourself turn gay
>>703853469
So, I'm God?
>>703850680
You gotta stick your dick in them for it to work
>>703853474
Its a one time use that lasts only an hour.
>>703853474
have a whole website dedicated to not believing in you
I can change anyones dick. Size, color, piercings, cut/uncut.
>>703853490
You forget where you bury your shekels.
Yep, that is the guy, fat, big head but slit eyes like a near miss mongoloid,. maybe they put shunts in his temples to bleed his brain brakes , like a subaru the official lesbian car!
I was filming a documentary on the mating habits of the california obese man, he smells of urine since he had damaged his uretha by stinking his entire pointer finger deep up in his massively stretched out
penis hole, his fat body enveloped his penis encased in blubber but a micropenis was spotted while the obese california homo erectionus.
in and out and a in and a out oh yeah feels good prlapse it now boys weeee haaaaa
pull the finger out to make your penis go inside out it feels just like fucking your own butt I heard shawn tell the new hobos fresh off the frighter
>>703853490
There is no such thing as money
>>703853490
you're in Germany, 1941
>>703853490
You get sent back in time and placed in Auschwitz
>>703853620
erectile dysfunction
>>703853490
You catch on fire when being a jew
Ability to be happy
>>703853736
visits 4chan still
>>703853736
Only when attending funerals.
>>703852927
... outside of 4chan.
>>703853736
You wake up seeing it was only a dream
>>703853736
Everyone else has down syndrome
>>703853474
You're also immune to life and any opposite of what you just imagined. Your existence being outside the laws of the universe, you are ripped from creation, becoming a literal god. However, being immune to vision, action, and thinking, you are unable to involve yourself with the universe in any way what-so-ever. You can only exist in perpetual sense deprivation forever. Fortunately for you, you're immune to caring about such things.
am incredibly skilled at all musical instruments
>>703850924
But girls will only like you as a friend
Always completely happy no matter what happens, at all times, in all scenarios, cannot be unhappy, even if it causes terrible bodily harm or something undesirable. Always happy, happiness cannot be affected by any restrictions.
>>703853736
But for some reason still want to kill yourself.
>>703853736
You'll still feel lonely
>>703848099
shameful repost
>>703853854
So...i literally become a paradox in the process..
>>703853899
...in an mmorpg
>>703853862
Have no hands, legs, and or lips.
>>703851148
But it only applies to board games
>>703853521
I would be okay with this. Lawsuits on the gross ones, turn the hot ones gay to sleep with them.
>>703853528
The whole point of this one was to increase my dating range.
>>703853899
... Your happiness climaxes when others get hurt, and you can't stop laughing
11th prestige.
>>703851261
You become an oompa loompa
>>703853955
Not at all! You're immune to paradoxes. You're just unable to exist in this realm, so you have to go to a different one.
>>703848099
Can only be spent on crack.
Can insta heal.
>>703854129
is only 13 years old
have my innocence back
>>703854171
But you can't heal your broken heart.
>>703853862
No one can hear you play
The 11th prestige emblem.
I have the ability to make threads never 404.
>>703854239
You get molested again.
>>703851314
You can only eat saltine crackers. Anything else turns to ash
>>703853899
You become unable to express any other emotion. This horrifies anyone that was ever or will ever be close to you. You now have no friends, and nobody wants to talk to you ever, on account of how fucking creepy you are.
The ability to join or leave in any game of my choosing and whatever game i go into becomes real and stops time in the real world with no real risks like dying.
>>703854268
Your account gets deleted immediately after
>>703854171
you have cancer also
Immortality
>>703854288
i knew someone would say that, still lost it
>>703854239
People take advantage of you constantly.
>>703851396
It can only be used to adjust your partners dick
>>703854254
Then avoid cholesterol and exercise often. 0/10, no effort, made me reply.
>>703854361
You are only immortal when you're happy.
>>703854328
You can't have sex with anything ever.
>>703848099
Can only spend it on cock
>>703854129
>>703854268
>>703854328
the mods realize you're too young to be playing and ban you for life
>>703854361
but you live in the bathroom of a taco bell
>>703851647
You can never wear pants again.
>>703854273
Can't make threads himself.
>>703854273
As soon as you enter a thread, it stops updating.
>>703854361
But you get physically trapped in a crevice with no phone and no help. Forever.
Also, you can't kill yourself.
>>703854361
You become a dildo in the projects.
>>703848928
Kek
>>703854273
But you use reddit
>>703848099
Can only spend it on the blm community
can go into black whole and exit at will
>>703848099
>>703848099
>Can only spend it on used condoms.
Ability to create any ability for others.
Have a 5th dimensional mind
>>703854465
Only 2 are me.
>>703851702
It happens in every situation
The ability to have any superpower, and then to override any subsequent restriction on that superpower imposed by anyone else.
>>703854613
The hole is the asshole of a black tranny prostitute with aids.
>>703854613
the black hole is a fat lady's gaping vagina
>>703854663
these only exist in your coma
Large penis
>inb4 black
>>703852106
Kek winner
>>703854615
But all of them must fuck you over somehow.
>>703851727
They always lose
>>703854663
Remember anon, you're still a huge faggot regardless.
>>703854716
*whole
>>703854716
>>703854718
wow you think a lot like me
ability to shill and shitpost through my subconscious mind.
>>703851889
You can no longer interact with the physical realm ever again
>>703854771
overridden, faggot
can tell the gender of someone over the internet so i can insult them properly
>inb4 can't type
>>703854729
Its considered large in korea, where the average is laughable.
>>703854911
You cant override something thats a part of you, you retard.
>>703854921
They always have the best rebuttals and you can never win the arguement.
>>703854997
just did, faggot. try again
>>703854921
They stump you 2x as hard.
>>703850707
Non sequitur/10
Still keking
>>703854921
You always feel guilty after insulting someone.
>>703852495
No one ever has positive feelings towards you ever again
Able to breathe underwater
>>703851670
Fucking lost
Ability to instantly own anything I touch no questions asked.
>>703855053
i dont wanna live in this world anymore
>>703855115
hahahahahaaha
>>703855154
only works in toilet bowls
Can make anyone cum at any distance.
>>703848099
Inflation
>>703848468
Is as physically exterting as a full sprint
>>703848486
You get outed as a date rapist
>>703848779
Midas Hubris
>>703849174
Can't turn it off
>>703849332
Sentience barrier. It's basically tard wrangling.
>>703849386
Can't pick your target.
>>703849516
Predestination paradox
>>703850347
Empathetic power that requires you to lead by example.
>>703850763
Without the ability to clear the landing zone of matter.
>>703851057
They hurt
>>703850590
The presence of anything in the space you are creating in violently interrupts the creatioj process.
Omnipotence.
>>703855154
Gills can only breathe water.
>>703855267
Only applies to children under 10.
>>703855226
>>703855154
You find difficulty swimming. The best you can do is walk along the bottom. You are unable to cross any major ocean due to the shear amount of pressure found in the abyss.
>>703855169
You realize it was a sales day for abilities and everyone has yours.
>>703855345
you are visible everywhere.
>>703853360
You gotta eat it to do it again
>>703851314
Diabeetus
>>703854663
Everytime you use your override restriction your penis shrinks by am inch.
can survive in space with no suit
>inb4 stuck in ccave, can't leave ground
gotta be clever faggots
>>703855561
so it implodes after the first use?
>>703851539
Kek lost it
>>703855614
kek
>>703855561
lol not bad
>>703853024
>>703849038
Yeah not seeing a problem here...
>>703855563
You can't leave the solar system
>>703853899
The rest of your life is a painful struggle for existence
>>703855563
You can only drift in one direction forever.
