greentext your time when your dick was handled in a nonsexual way but it was quite sexy for you.
> be in hospital with broken arms
> nurse cleans my genitals in the morning
> get boner
> she pulls back forskin and cleans with washcloth
> cum
> she says oh and cleans it off
> acting professional no further words lost about it
>Be 16
>5'6
>Havent grown in 3 years, so I was concerned
>How long will I grow doc?
>Docter has to mee dick size
>It has to be hard first
>It won't grow by itself
>Insert help
He was a man
when my mom showed me ohw to wash myself under foreskin.
>>703612846
age and did you cum?
>>703612499
Surprisingly hot
>>703612815
Was this on penis inspection day?
> got a condom catheter
> nurse grabbed my dick and wanked it hard to get catheter on
> mfw
> no happy end though
> I wonder how many nurses do it that way
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzlNeIvSW08
>>703613392
Yes at school. The gym teacher was thorough
>>703613574
this kills the man
>>703612499
>be 9
>in hospital because i fractured my leg
>my left leg is in a full fibreglass cast, from thigh to toe
>wearing a gown with only underwear underneath
>lying down on bed
>can't reach the piss jug
>i get my mum to hold the piss jug while I piss
I also shit the bed when I was in hospital.
>>703613942
>I also shit the bed when I was in hospital.
cool story bro
> decide to get a waxing (kind of bored and wanted to see if it really hurts)
> look for brazilian waxing in my city
> get a 7/10 Brazilian in her 30s, pretty sympathic
> kind of question my decison to get my balls waxed but don't want to back out
> pokerface
> she tells me not to be nervous because professional etc
> says some even get erections and it makes waxing there easier because she doesn't always needs to hold it
> jokingly say sorry that I'm not hard
> she makes me hard
> mfw she keeps me erect until she is done
this is kinda the opposite of this thread but earlier today I took a shower with my 9 & 6yo nephews and I had to help the younger one, and by help i mean i did basically all the work. wasnt sexual but i was surprised how soft and smooth he was down there. also fck green txt
>>703613942
do you have a piss fetish today?
>>703612499
>be me 14
>I had a weird EKG after palpitations
>WPW syndrome
>had to get heart catheterization
>goes in through femoral artery
>have to get pubes shaved
>hot as fuck nurse walks in
>moves dick out of the way
>think baseball think baseball
>boner
>damnit
>"dont worry its ok"
>sorry uhhhh yeah
>tells me if anything it's a compliment
>few minutes later she injects me with a sedative and not sure what happened before that
>for real she was really hot
>
>>703614392
kind of, but it's not a big thing.
and it wasn't because of the pissjug story
> uncle in hospice
> told me when he got washed in the bath tub he got an erection
> nurse asked if she should help him out with that
> wanked him off without witing for an answer
his last days sure were fun
>>703614709
>tells me if anything it's a compliment
I wonder how many nurses play it off but feel used because they get objectified by you sexist assholes
>been cumming blood for a month
>getting checked for testicular cancer by a small asian man
>he seems awkward/unsure
>think about tits
>starts to grow, halfway there
>suddenly icey gel all over my balls and the base of my shaft
>balls flee inside my body to escape the sudden icey grip
>wand starts to move up and down my balls, back to plan A
>finish progress towards final form
>glorious veiny 8 inch cock flexes towards his face
Funniest thing ever watching him try to avoid looking at it, get slapped in the face by it. I'm a terrible human being.
Didn't have ball cancer, so can't be too bad.
>>703615036
that's gay
>>703615034
>objectified by you sexist assholes
How does it feel to play the skin flute?
>>703612499
> be 22
> go to a coccyx surgery
> locally sedated, still conscious, but high as fuck due to local anesthesia
> Laughs and makes sexual advances on the doctor and her student and the nurses
> Doctor is not pleased.
> Get to the room. Can't pee, because can't feel anything from below the waist (anesthesia).
> Ask nurse to help. Reluctantly says yes.
> Get a raging boner right in her face.
> Screams, and runs away.
> Can't pee, because boner.
> Another nurse (a far uglier. fatter and older) comes
> HappyEnd.jpg
> Still couldd not pee
> Not even sorry.
>>703615118
I'm not gay, he was the one with a cock in his face..
Clearly not gay.
>>703615129
>Another nurse (a far uglier. fatter and older) comes
I feel sorry for you. But still better than a male nurse
>>703613942
>I also shit the bed when I was in hospital.
Don't be too embarrassed, Hillary shits herself all the time and she's running for president.
>>703615034
I actually was really good looking when I was younger and she just smiled as it rose lol she was being objectified I think she saw I was sitting there staring at the ceiling trying to not think of it like no other. And then being embarrassed when I got hard
>>703615129
Coccyx surgery? What was wrong with yours? I have a minor congenital coccyx deformity, did you too?
>>703615414
No no, it was not a surgery on the actual coccyx, but on the skin and muscles around it.
>>703614709
you should have asked for her number
My cousin sat on my lap during a road trip. Lots of bumpy roads, Had a boner I couldn't hide.
No way she didn't feel it, but she didn't say anything but occasionally she would re-adjust and rub her butt around it
>>703615198
>gets erect at men handling his balls
>not gay
>>703614757
Yes Uncle anon!!
>>703615614
not gay faggot
>>703614329
>where's your fucking face you stupid fucking newfag? mfw.. means a fucking pic, faggot.
>>703615036
didn't want to read a gay story
>Doc has to check me balls
>Think now would be good time to have giggle
>Doc starts to fondle
>Close eyes and think bout sexy
>Boner is yes
>Doc stop then tell cough
>Try not laugh and cough cough
>He look in my eyes
>I look down and try not laugh so hard is my penis
>Doc stand up and sigh
>My keks are seen
>Doc keks too
>>703612499
> be in hospital with broken arms
wat?
>>703616080
F A G G O T
A
G
G
O
T
>>703615034
>Objectified by sexist assholes
tumblrina detected
>>703615954
>2016
>still thinks you need to post a face when you say mfw
>mfw
>>703616248
since when is getting a boner from a guy cupping your balls gay you retard? i will get hard from hearing my dog lick itself but im not into dogs
>had hydrocel surgery
>was doped up too much to remember anything
>fondled while doped up
>woke up after surgery to family watching nurse check my balls
>still hazy memory at the whole experience
>>703616372
>I get hard from hearing my dog lick itself
>not into dogs
Kiddo, I got some bad news for you
>>703612499
I don't know why, but I love Brandi Belle.
>>703616372
>since when is getting a boner from a guy cupping your ball
since ancient greece?
>i will get hard from hearing my dog lick itself
>im not into dogs
this has to be b8
>>703615954
>yfw you're a newfag
>>703614356
degenerate
>>703616372
>but im not into dogs
>I fap to gay porn, but no homo
>>703612499
got surgery near my groin, had to be shaved down there.
>Nurses are cleaning my dick with sponge after the surgery
>raging hard on, cannot control it
>they bend it a bit to clean around
>hunnghh
>i'm speaking with the male, 50ish surgeon
>trying to pretend i'm having normal, civil conversation all the while he can see my stiff dick being cleaned by the nurses
>mfw
>>703613663
thanks!
>>703616131
Do you not speak english?
>>703615954
>not greentexting properly
>calling someone newfag
>>703616131
traffic accidents can be a pain in the ass
>>703616786
Busted
>>703616679
thanks for sharing
>>703614709
I had pretty much the exact same experience (different medical reason for the catheter, but it's all the same for the story)
but
i was fucking 24, and I thought I could prevent my dick from getting hard when simply handled by a nurse
well I couldn't
>>703615034
>b8
>>703615614
it's only gay if the balls touch
>>703616060
All of /b is gay stories you faggot
>>703615247
i was 9 and immobile, only embarrassing thing was my dad had to clean it up for me
>>703615954
>mfw found the newfag
Happy now, kid?
>>703616884
you're welcome
>>703617227
True story
>>703615511
Haha you fat hairy fuck. Pilonidal sinus.
>>703612499
>oh
>>703616267
kys
>shatter ankle skateboarding in Australia
>in hospital bed a few days later
>smoking hot blonde nurse with nice big boobs walks in
>says it's time for me to wash
>bends over lowering the side rail
>can see right down scrubs
>she stands up asking if it will need help bathing
>not a moron and say yes I will
>probably could have done it by myself but not gonna miss this chance
>she flashes a coy smile
>she helps me hobble into the bathroom and sit in the chair
>bucket with warm water sponge and soap in
there
>take my gown off while seated but can't get back up to take boxers off
>she helps me up and starts to take boxers off
>her hand brushes my cock
>houstonwehaveliftoff.jpg
>boxers finally off and I have a semi going
>she looks down and smiles as I sit back down
>has me lean forward and washes my back and shoulders
>feels unbelievable
>she is brushing her boobs against me on purpose, at least I think
>tells me to lean back
>diamonds at this point
>she helps me to my feet and cleans the back of my legs
>then she cleans the front brushing her hand against my cock and balls
>she finally begins to wash my cock
>feels amazing
>apologize for the erection
>she says don't it's nice to help someone younger clean and she says I have a nice cock
>begins stroking it
>tell her she if continues I will cum
>she looks up and smiles again asking me to sit down
>cleans my chest and face
>once I'm rinsed off she helps me back to my feet and begins drying me
>cock throbbing at this point
>she wraps the towel around it drying /stroking
>the time has come and so have I
>cum into the towel
>she gives me such a devilish grin and helps me get dressed and back into bed
Shame I never got to see those tits besides when she bent down
>>703617674
well I'm diamonds now
jesus
>>703617779
you got a hard on reading about a dude's hard on?
>>703617882
You are autism
>>703617674
well nurses are human too. But I think if that came out it would be the end of her career.
How old were you?
>>703617882
I got a hard on imagining myself in that story.
Pretty basic fantasy.
"You watch porn that has a girl giving a guy a handjob? You must be gay if you like watching a guy get jerked off."
Not everyone is as much of a faggot as you are, no matter how much you want us to be.
>>703617882
If you didn't you must be a gay.
>>703617882
well take a look at this faggot over here
>>703617989
22
She made the younger comment because the other guy in the room was a 80 something old man who kept shitting on himself. When the nurses got me up and moving the day after she bathed me I found out most of the other patients on the floor were elderly
>>703615036
You ejaculated blood for a mont before going to the doctor
>>703615036
>dick slapping your doc
Alpha as fuck
>>703616679
Lost my shit in front of co workers before clock in. Thanks. Haha
>>703618580
>dick slapping your MALE doc
>cringy as fuck
fixed
>>703617613
zoozle
>mfw studying nursing and reading this thread
Good thing the assistant nurses deal with most of the washing
>>703618625
>not asserting social dominance with dick slapping
Look at mr faggotry over here
>go to doctor because a can feel a lump on my right testicle
>he's touching it, doing the ultrasound thing looking at the screen
>he looks certainly worried
>this does not look good anon
>ohgodpleaseno.png
>he steps out of the room saying he will be right back
>ohfuckshitwhatnow.jpg
>coming back he tells me that we have to cut it open soon to take a precise look at it
>wat
>making a date for surgery on the next fucking day
>happiness.exe has stopped working
since than and since I had ballcancer there were an awfull lot of doctors touching and looking at my gentials. No girls tho, as you can imagine I did not want any girl to help me with anything dick related an that time.
>>703614329
You should of offered her $20 to finish
>>703616248
> not comfortable in own skin enough to do something like this
> homophobic enough to take the time to post this
no, he isn't gay, its not gay unless balls are touching.
on a side note, ive done likewise things, getting wood when a friend is over and acting like i don't notice, i also do it in line at the bank, arcade like place near home, etc.
>>703618813
but it was quite sexy for you?
>>703618746
I sexual harassed a nurse while in the er once morphine hit me.
> be ce'est moi
> 34
> jerk to nurse porn daily
> discover lump
> ask for male doc
> he on vacation
> get old but milf nurse
> too late to back down
> already at half mast
> remove trousers
> rock hard and dripping in precum
> she looks at it and leaves the room
> Im told to rebook for next week with the male doc
>>703618922
shit I fucking missed the goddamn topic. My bad
>>703615247
Fucking kek
>>703618906
>implying women use 4chan
>>703614329
Not gonna lie I've thought about doing that. There's something I find profoundly hot about getting your junk touched in a setting it shouldn't be.
>>703612499
>12 with weird chest pain
>sat up in hospital bed
>nurse comes in and takes pulse from my groin
>neck available
>wrist available
>nope straight in and fumbling around my balls and wang
>and then she left
It was actually pretty surreal. My dad was there, I didn't get any explanation and she didn't even hold her hand there long enough to judge my pulse rate.
>>703614356
Fucking pedo gtfo reeeeeeeeeee
>>703618833
this is kind of funny, I don't want to break the mood and see if she will sometime do it on her own
>>703618986
sorry about that cancer mate
>>703618972
fucking kek
did you visit the doc by now?
>>703616521
>Brandi Belle
I forgot she existed. Know where to find full videos of her? I feel like a nostalgic fap.
>>703617527
I had that too. I even had a girlfriend who had it and she was hot as fuck.
>>703618546
No, the initial diagnostic route for hemospermia is wait and see if it continues (in the hope it's just slight damage to the "bits"). I'd been checked for prostate damage and cancer markers. Only thing left was an ultra-sound.
They never found anything, sorted itself out in the end.
First time it happened, I was unloading on my gf's tits. Fucking covered the poor girl in blood.
>>703613574
>mfw
>>703619063
it's okay. I'm cured now and happier than I've ever been before
>>703618906
there are no women on the internet, dont act like a newfag.
> all women are ment
> all girls are cops
> all cops are 12 YO boys
it has always been this way
>>703619173
thats awesome bro
>>703619150
Where is your face
>>703618972
rekt
>>703618993
there are women on /soc/ and we had a crazy feminists vs masculists debate there. Shit was cash
>>703619015
the reason this thread exists
>>703618986
don't worry. for discussing life changing events without sexual innuendo use r9k
>>703616404
How long was the recovery?
>>703616267
>current year
>being this new
Where can I find good 10/10 nurse porn ?
>>703613574
>be at clinic
>burns when I pee so fearing the clap
>doctor and nurse walk in
>tell to get naked from waist down
>tell me I now need to get hard
>looking at tray of utensils he has
>not getting hard at all
>he says they will be back to give me some privacy
>finally get hard once alone
>they come back in
>doc grabs it
>lubes up the tip
>what can only be described as a qtip proceeds to go down the hole
>pain so unimaginable and intense all you can do is white knuckle the table and making a contorted face
>no screaming it hurts so bad
>qtip comes out and doc says he's done
>finally scream into the pillow
>never want another boner in a hospital setting again
Turns out it was UTI . Caught it from a toilet. Toilets were small and my dick would touch the inside at times. Gave me a z pack and cleared me right up
>>703619141
I see
Good thing there was nothing wrong
>>703619394
the nurse theme is mostly jav, everything else are shitty, carelessly made jokes for porn
>>703619060
you know, your jealous anger is showing.
ive showered with my younger sister, she is adorable....but we are super close.
>15
>Testicular torsion (Twisted nuts)
>Hot nurse rubs ultrasound gel on and starts searching around
>towel rapped around pin dick for privacy
>Start Getting Hard
>Still gets an "impressive" 5 inch erection
> Towel goes up Nurse apparently didn't realise I had an erection
>Graps towel and moves it.....all she grabbed was my little cogger.
>Red with embarrassment and a throbing cock.
>>703612499
>~8 years old, no idea about anatomy
>go to doctor with mom because I have the flu
>checks my throat and chest
>okay anon, anything else wrong?
>tell her that I have some hard lumps in my wee wee
>she massages my balls for a minute
>tells me it's just testicles and it's normal
>all this in front of my mom
It wasn't embarrassing back then as I didn't really have a concept of sexuality, but it is now.
>>703619447
It was probably from fapping into a used sock
>>703619447
this is what men get for being told to sit down even in public. The nurse didn't even make up for it in your story. Feels bad man
>>703619519
With jav you mean japanese ?
>>703619595
best ITT together with the Australian ankle breaker
>>703619745
hai. japanese adult video desu
>>703617674
holy
>>703612499
omg what did she look like??
>>703619476
Agreed. Ruined my sex life for a year.
Nothing like telling your partner that they shouldn't be worried if you facial them with a pint of blood..
>
>
>
>
>
>>703612499
>uni is doing sculpting classes
>no idea why but they ask me to model
>probably cause i was the only dude in the class
>reluctantly agree as it technically exempts me from the project
>also kind of bullshit cause its a whole lot of drawing, sketching, and sculpting experience I won't get
>have 5 poses i gotta do each day while the class sketches from different angles then make some sort of sculpture based on either one of the poses or using the angles and anatomy studied to make a unique piece
>no idea why but some chick is whispering to the teacher the second i get on the pedestal
>teachers one of those 50 something 11/10 milf's who blows the dean for her classes funding
>teach just wordlessly walks up and jacks my dick hard for like 5 seconds
>pretty sure she just bruised my dick and balls with the jackhammer deathgrip traditional technique from the snu snu amazonians
>everytime i go flacid she tops me off
>can't even jack it how bad she actually hurt my shit for a week after
>chick who asked for this torture's sculpture was my banging a crude her
>chick who did the sculpture is like -5/10
>teacher actually tries to give me a fucking F for "lack luster performance" as a model
>have to threaten her with telling the dean she jacked me off in front of class no less than 80 times over the course of 5 days and i got the fucking medical waiver from the doctor to prove the damages
>A's for the rest of the year from her in 2 classes
>slack through all of it cause i only need the credits for passing prereq's for other classes and not my major
>>703619173
grats dude
>>703619620
Who are telling you that.
And why don't you just say ''ok'', and then don't do it, homo.
You're probably a sprinkler dick who can't aim for shit though.
>>703619908
creasing
>>703619283
That's the joke
>>703615954
Shit I guess summer really isn't over.
>>703619141
I once had a fire ant climb into my dick while out camping. I blew a load of thousand island into my ex's mouth that night.
>>703620395
>a load of thousand island
what's that supposed to tell me
>>703619620
But every male knows that you Only pee seated at your, and maybe your friends, home
So you don't have to clean
Public toilets are free fire
>>703619394
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=247470215
>>703620525
Oh boy. That's the only thing that's made me laugh tonight.
>>703620525
What color is thousand island dressing?
What color is cum mixed with blood?
>>703619908
Wat. Nice played. Fucking cunt..
>>703615748
>uncle anon
Good times, good times
>>703620525
kek
>>703614356
pics
>>703620737
>What color is cum mixed with blood?
pretty much pink
>14yo apendix (it's that a word?) surgery, training for wizard
>need to shave balls
>not qt3.14 but young nurse came in, plate with saving tools
>hello anon, this won't hurt, just be a little awkward when groweing again
>yeah, whatever, dying in pain here
>nurse starts shaving, with foam, holding dick with 2 fuckin fingers
>even in pain dick gets rocks hard
>sorry!
>it's ok, and its easier to me, nurse says an grin
>nurse now grab it with whole hand, and joystick it while shaving
>painandpleasure.jpg
shaving is done, she smiles and say doctor is coming right away, no further help
nurse came several times after surgery, very kind
>>703620590
>>703620737
>>703620816
>What color is thousand island dressing?
>dressing
pardon me, don't really know about animal food
>>703620579
I said 10/10, not 7/10 !!!
>>703619908
>sculpture was my banging a crude her
>>703620913
>>703614329
so having a boner is really helpful?
I have never gotten a boner from it being handled in a nonsexual way but when I was 12 I had phismosis really bad and within a month 4 grown men saw my cock.
>>703620545
that's what sinks are for fam
>get colonoscopy
>doc has to give me more sedative causs im a big guy
>wake up from drug induced state and realize i have been dressed by other peoples hands
>mfw
>>703620737
Bright orange
Pink
>>703621124
>>703620916
>>703620865
>people who obviously never came blood
Come back after fucking an anthill, sport
>>703615034
erection is an involuntary reflex and doesn't equal consent though
sexual thoughts don't necessarily equate to sexual intentions
>>703621224
nope, I let you do that since you seem to be pretty proud of it.
>>703620865
Depends how much blood there is.
I came bucketloads of blood, so it was deep red.
More blood than cum = darker red. The next day it would be brown as the blood had started to congeal.
>>703621240
stop mansplaining me, every man is a rapist
>>703615614
>erection doesn't equal consent
>>703621110
You're a big guy
>>703621350
your bait is of so low quality that I wont even post a pic related
>>703621394
for you
>>703619394
It was huge in the 90s. Latex dresses and ponytails.
Now as anon said, its all jap stuff.
>>703612499
no fucking way
>>703619060
don't you know where you are? You gtfo
>Be me last year. 40 years old
>time for first colonoscopy
>Nurse tells me to take off pants and wait on the table
>Doc comes in, lubes up and sticks 2 fingers in.
>Says brb, need more equipment
>Walks out, passing nurse on the way
>Nurse says "Who was that guy?"
>>703621350
but i'm not a man, i'm a boy
>>703621527
people cumming from getting washed, catheters or other stuff aren't that unusual in hospital
>>703621394
>>703621439
>>703616731
>>703613663
>>703613392
what the fuck is this autistic bullsht
>>703621725
newfag
>>703621626
Fucking kek
>>703619908
>snu snu amazonians
Kek
>>703619908
>snu snu
>>703619799
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu
>>703621725
>>703620992
Meant to type me* phones autocorrect seems to refuse to turn off after the update. Basically it was a decent scultpure of my leaning a crude sculpture of her over. Either she paid way to much time and attention to my half than hers or she ran out of time.
> be in Berlin
> go to a wellness massage in Steglitz
> Wasn't a thai massage or massage brothel
> got a middle aged milf, nice c cup breast
> got naked laid on stomach
> really good massage, she knew what she was doing
> told to turn around
> she grabs my dick and sucks my balls
> half booked time dick play
> came buckets on her tits
> checked the adress in internet
> find it in reviews
> place doesn't advertise with erotic massages but this is normal
>>703619447
wow pretty brutal
seems weird you'd have to get hard for an urethral swab though
>>703622398
>>703619447
See
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWa9HQyP4p4
I'm pretty sure your junk got handled by a brute
>>703612499
>The last time I visited my physician was about 2 years ago.
>Had some complaints about some spot on my dick
>Emailed her describing her the situation
>Get a mail back asking me to come by, she can't diagnose from mail only obviously
>A little reluctant to let her see my dick, but make the appointment.
>My dick already feels semi hard going into the room
>Ever since I came in she was giving me this weird look
>TFW I just lost
>>703612499
>>cogger
>>703622398
Makes it so the qtip goes in easy. If it's flaccid the tubes not rigid enough for straight shooting and you hit areas that might "kink" think of a qtip down a straw and qtip down a straw sized pic related no lube. One will catch and the other will glide.
Still doesn't mean its not THE worst feeling i've ever experienced and i've had a broken dick before.
>>703619037
How did your parents react? Like wtf.
>>703622610
Broken dick, like a penile fracture?
>>703622269
Thinking a of going on a Brothel Tour of Berlin. Where should I go ?
>be me 2 years ago crashed my motorbike
>went to a university hospital with punctured lung and broken rib
>4th day in hospital comes time to perform supportive breathing technique
>to my surprise a chick i fucked in high school is now a nurse and walks in
>chick sits next to me while going through breathing exercises
>places hands on leg
>i can feel boner on the way
>she notices my boner cos lump showing through my gown
>she rubs in circular motion the tip of my head
>i moan
>she grabbed my dick through the gown, and squeezes really hard while stil lgoing through breathing exercise
>breathing exercises finish and she left leaving my dick diamond hard
>>703622763
> didnt finish
> must be real
>>703622762
most brothel have internet sites. google
>>703622562
>THEGAMET
>GAMET
>T
You had one fucking job
>>703622478
Nah. Dude had actual discharge hence the swab instantly being green and gooey with a little dab. The doctor didn't need to go balls deep cause the shit was literally right there.
Assuming you don't have shit pouring out of your hole standard procedure is they shove that WHOLE qtip down as far as it will go while leaving enough to of the stick to grab and retrieve(different sizes for different dick sizes obviously and chicks get literal q-tip length ones unless they're fat) twirl that bitch around for proper coverage then yank it out as slowly pulling it out can cause damage where as a yank means it has less chance to abrade the inner tissue.
>>703619908
average day in yurp uni
>>703621626
kek
>>703621626
37 keks
>>703622876
I need that personal review
>>703621629
underage b& and all that
>>703622882
>>703617674
yes yes 100% true
>>703622610
Ooops pic related.
>>703622730
Yes. Old ex and i using one of those ikea chairs i'll pic relate in a sec cause it has a nice bounce and we could just casually fuck for a few hours with it doing half the work for both of us. shit snaps right where the two pieces bolt together and she lands funny on my shit. Instant and world obliterating pain makes me shove her off and limp to my clothes so she could drive my ass to the hospital.
Urethral swabs are worse than glass being ground inside your dick and its not an exaggeration when i say that the ENTIRE WORLD disappears before your eyes and your focus narrows down solely to the pain in your dick. It's literally so bad you can't physically react besides maybe a whimper.
That ground glass feeling? Yeah, that stays for around a week and peeing is a chore that i had to get liqoured up for the first 3 days.
>>703617674
this is not real but im still hard
>>703623012
problem is that was some years ago. I read of her often since then but now people complain that she got more well known, you can only book her as a regular or visit on good luck. She even seems to be pissed to get reviews so I don't recommend you to visit her, you are too late
>>703623335
These chairs.
I still use them but now i use those carbon fiber bikes and skateboard patch kits to reinforce the area which shit bolts together which actually makes it springier.
>>703617305
Well, at least your father did it.
And you will have to do that for him when he will be old
>>703621067
I shave my shit, having a boner doesn't make it easier, only makes is harder, no pun intended. The reason why is it's a lot easier to cut yourself when you are hard. These anon's are lying out their asses ,and have never shaved their junk balled in their life
>>703618833
>should of
>>703623521
I've never had issues with it. It actually makes shit easier cause then i just pull the tip towards my chest and it tightens the skin on my sack and shaft for closer shaving.
Do you use cream like a smart person? Do you use a mens brand razor or female brand? Use the female brand for your junk it's safer and designed for delicate areas and cream just makes things work better.
>>703623565
>should of
Technically it's slang, so it's passable
http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/slang/proper-english-versus-slang.html
>>703623335
Jesus fuck
>>703621725
its a joke for kids who were molested. Not a very funny meme if you ask me
>>703623725
We give niggers and Mexicans shit for making up their own pigeon speak. It's no better when white morons do the same.
>>703620913
>Appendectomy
>gets balls shaved
Cool story. You're appendix is in the lower right quadrant of your stomach. No where near your groin area. Try again faggot.
>>703623898
Your* fucking autocorrect
>>703623711
Dude, I use a mans razor and just stretch my junk out while I'm shaving it, never cut myself. As for using shaving cream, I'm not a moron, razor burn on your junk sucks balls As for getting hard, um my dick has little bumps where the hair grows, like a lot of men do. When my junk is hard the bumps swell with it. That's how I know you are full of shit, shaving while you are hard.
>>703619447
Funny thing Is they could have just had u pee in a cup
>>703619114
yes but would she fit in a rowboat?
>have painful red lump on shaft
>make doctors appointment to get it checked out
>realise i will get my dick handled by probably a dude
>have not jacked off in a week due to said red lump
>realise i have to fap the day before the exam or i will get a throbbing hard on
>manage to nut using only two fingers, carefully avoiding the lump
>get to the appointment the next day
>doctor is an old ugly dude(as i suspected), looks at my lump and says it has to be squeezed
>asks me how much pain i can tolerate
>quite a bit
>proceeds to squeeze lump for the next ten minutes while i lay down trying not to pass out from pain
>gives me antibiotics and sends me on my way
>didn't even get a semi
:^)
>be me
>nice thick 8 inch benis
>decide to get brazilian wax
>hope to get erect to show off my beautiful willy
>pants off for 9/10 black haired, big titted beautician
>slowly starting to get erect as she puts hot wax around my cock
>starts to pull the strips off
>benis shrinks and hides like a scared little turtle for the whole session, looked like i just have a tiny cock :(
>>703623835
Well, no that's not how language works.
language is dynamic, it evolves over time through slang. If enough people start using slang variations that stars being a common meaning and becomes proper
>>703623898
They have to sterilize the working area you fucking tool.
>>703624013
I have the exact same issue with the balls deal. They're called sebaceous glands.
Maybe its the chick razor i use for my sack (venus) cause a lot of chicks have those bumps too and it doesn't carve their shit up.
>>703615247
Top kek
Be 19 year old me
>go out drinking the night before and wake up late for a pre job physical
>smell like shut and don't have time to shower
>I thought this was just going to be a basic drug test and blood pressure exam
>this old 40 year old fat black lady comes in and walks me in the room with another basketball American of equal physical apperance
>the nurse does the basic physical stuff then trolls me to pull my pants and underwear down.
>Be grower not a shower so I got like this whole 1.5-2 in her going on
>at the same time her nurse passes her a clip board and starts checking off everything she just did
>oh boy here we go
>suddenly I have an random alward boner.
>pretty sure it smells too because when I had gone to pee my junk smelled.
>she puts down the keyboard and sarcastically says"where did that come from"
>grabs my junk and tells me to laugh and says I'm all done
>pull up pants and lrave.
>>703615034
Probably not many, seeing as they have an actual education...
>>703623725
if youre a nigger
>>703615414
You mean you have a tail?
>>703614356
REEEEE
>>703615034
Well, I know you are a feminazi and are batshit insane, but I'd have to tell you. I think these fucktards are all lying out their asses because I don't think I could get hard in a hospital for the life of me. .I don't care if the nurse walked out in a nurses outfit from Fredericks of Hollywood. Hospitals are fucking disturbing and smell like Lysol and poo
>>703624013
>Ignorant
Since it works that way for you, it must mean i's like that for everyone. Right!?
>>703616786
>who the fuck do you think you are telling me how to do shit and all of that huh do you think you're the mother clucking 4chan police.
>and FYI I do know how to use greentext it's just separating ideas stupid idiot.
>mfw
>>703624530
I'm not a African american nor do I use slang language. Only people of Mexican and African descent use such ignorant language
>23
>decide to volunteer for scrotal and rectal ultrasound study for $100
>supposed to be a guy doing it, but was actually a young female doing the study
>brunette, fit, probably late 20s
>to prep i had to shave my groin and anal area
>had to strip naked then wear a gown
>she pulled out stirrups on the chair, told me to sit
>haha yes, guys aren't used to stirrups, just put your feet in there
>i sat with my legs completely spread
>she pulled up a chair between my legs and i lifted my gown slightly
>"hmm lemme just..." and she yanks the gown way up
>my cock is dancing as i struggle not to get hard
>she places ultrasound device under my balls, and explains everything on the screen
>i feign interest to make everything last longer
>"now i need to do the anal part, but it's a pretty small device"
>ok
want me to continue? only a little bit left
>>703623898
Used to be standard procedure. Oldfag here.
>>703624448
love Danielas ass
>>703624784
>Since it works that way for you, it must mean i's like that for everyone. Right!?
>dick has little bumps where the hair grows, like a lot of men do
How is a lot mistaken for everyone?
In your attempt to point out my ignorance you ignored your own ignorance.
>>703624843
so youre just white trash then
>>703624927
cont.
>>703624068
You know she wouldn't fit in a rowboat
>>703624927
cont asshole
>>703625064
No, I don't identify myself as Caucasian , I'm an Apache Indian attack helicopter
>>703623725
please just stfu
>>703625237
Make me nigger
virgin here i find this thread extremely funny continue
>>703616679
lerl
>>703625326
>virgin here i find this thread extremely funny continue
I'm pretty sure everybody in the thread is a virgin
>>703624927
hunngggggg
>>703624927
forgot to mention during the scrotal ultrasound. flashback:
>she had to keep her eyes on the screen during ultrasound
>for women its easy because they can rest on bottom of labia
>for most men, no labia, so no real reference point
>so for reference, she had to feel for my anus and move few inches up
>pretend to be distraught, but really, im fine with that
>mfw sphincter getting fondled while she rubs under my balls
>>703625033
>That's how I know you are full of shit, shaving while you are hard
>These anon's are lying out their asses ,and have never shaved their junk balled in their life
So you admit that you have no reason to assume those anons are lying and that you're a grade A+ twat.
>Ignorant
>>703616080
>>Boner is yes
kek
>>703612499
>greentext your time when your dick was handled in a nonsexual way but it was quite sexy for you.
implying my dick has ever been handled in a non-sexual way
>>703623493
thanks for the advice anon
>>703619908
Hnnng
and also
wat
>>703625552
>So you admit that you have no reason to assume those anons are lying and that you're a grade A+ twat.
No, I admitted no such thing, as I am entitled to my own opinion, you are the one that's trying to state fact where no facts exist
>Ignorant
>>703623425
long story short, its fake
>>703625583
then why the fuck are you in this thread?
>>703625829
she was Kathrin. Hope you can make something out of this
http://huren-test-forum.lusthaus.cc/showthread.php?t=144745
>>703625401
ayyyyy
>>703625422
back to the anal part of the study:
>"now i need to do the anal part, but it's a pretty small device"
>ok
>she shows me the device
>it is small, but in no way is is cylindrical
>some small but flat thing maybe as wide and long as the head of a toothbrush with bristles shaved off
>i chuckle a bit at the idea of shaving a toothbrush
>"something funny?"
>no
>"before i stick this in, i need to feel inside to make sure there isnt any blockage.."
>ok
>she tries inserting her finger, and it kinda hurt
>she didnt use lube or anything, so idk if it even went in
>"ok seems fine"
>she then sticks the device into my anus
>she has me squeeze and bear down multiple times
>as before, she explains everything on the screen
>"you see there, these are fatty tissues, here are muscles"
>where?
>"here, see where my finger is poking?"
>she repeatedly pokes my butthole with her finger to make it obvious on the screen what we're looking at
>she continues taking ultrasound images for 10 more minutes
>"ok, annnd we're done. you can get dressed"
>do so and get paid
>fin
>>703625859
>>703625859
Hearing virgins talk about their fantasies of getting their dicks handled is almost as interesting as it is amusing.
>>703612499
pulls back forskin, hah another stupid fucking savage, Time to get out of your thirdworld slum and start living in civilization. Fuck what passes for a hospital there, a mud hut with a sterile stone floor?
>>703625998
Then stfu and lurk faggot.
>>703614356
Can't deal with this shit
>>703613020
24, and yes, just by thinking about it. The she said boonga boonga mugwali toronga
>>703612499
Why do you faggots lie on an anon image board?
Nurses don't pull your foreskin back and clean it you shitter, they clean around your crotch area and it's done in 10-20 seconds.
What else did she do faggot? Stick her tongue up your ass to clean that too?
>>703625780
>Pathetic
>when i was 14
>got in road accident on my bike
>in hospital
>nurse checks my dick or something
>kissless virgin
>cum in her hand
>mfw
>>703618972
kek
>>703625996
>i chuckle a bit at the idea of shaving a toothbrush
>"something funny?"
>no
autism
Had cock pierced. maintained eye contact. Mfw I ran my hand through my piercers hair.
>>703619037
probably didnt even work there
>>703615036
Fake and gay.
>>703626148
Make me faggot
>>703619090
You're like 3 aren't you? He typed it so it's real amirite?
>>703626344
I declare my self the winner of the argument ,as you resorted to one word insults
>Pathetic
>>703615247
And trump looks like a piece of shit . What a wonderful country .
>>703626300
>>703626387
>being buttflustered over anons making shit up on /b/
looks like summer isnt over
just like 2 months ago
>be me
>born with hemophilia
>go to a complete health check-up 2 times a year
>strip down to boxers for the check up
>lie down on the stretcher so the doc can fondle my guts and feel my organs or some shit?!?!?!?
i never understood what they are doing when they are pressing around on your stomach...
>doc comes in, 40ish blonde sporty milf
>known her since i was a little shit because of the check ups
>checking my heartrate, checking my loungs, checking my joints
>finally start to press on my stomach and searches for me organs?!?!?
>proceeding TO LIFT UP M FUCKING SHORTS, SLIDE A HAND IN AND FONDLE MY BALLS
>me is 27
>"anon, since you're 27 no we're going to include cancer-check-ups as well"
>looking me dead in the eye, still fondling my balls
>DING DING DING
>highly confused, awkward nodding and a raging boner. that is me.
>she keeps talking about prevention bullshit
>not giving the slightest fuck about my boner
>finally is done and pulls out her hand
>looks down and giggles as she sees the fucking pitched tent
>mumbling "sorry"
>"it's okay anon, don't worry about it"
>she goes over to the shelf and gets the needles to draw LIKE A FUCKING LITER OF MY BLOOD (not actually a liter) for the labtests
>boner dies down during the process
>she noticed "haha, yeah getting your blood sucked out has this kind of effect"
now i'm looking for nurse-porn with girls that look like her...
>be 12
>have rebound pain in lower right quadrant of abdomen
>dr suspects its appendix
>asks me to bend over so he can stick his fingers in ass and vag to check.
>after a bit feel both hands on my hips and something fucking my vag
>think it's a tool of somekind of instrument.
>¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>mfw i cum.
>mfw i realize years later that my dr fucked me during the exam...
>>703617674
Ill take shit that never happened for 10/
>>703626584
>>703625313
Are you the same mouthbreathing retard, or is this thread blessed with the presence of 2 fine specimens?
>>703612499
You are still the laughingstock of that unit
>>703617527
Uneducated faggot
>>703621626
classic
>>703626695
Feminists and their rape fantasies, go back to tumblr, dyke
also tits or gtfo
>>703618789
>you should just kill yourself
>>703626695
yeah of cxourse... Or maybe youre a 12year old boy trying to be "cool" and "edgy" spending your time on 4chan and telling everyone your secret fetishes and fanatsies...
>>703626830
Pretty sure that's two different people nigger
>>703622074
>>703614709
Same, exact circumstances, but I was in my early thirties, and this girl looked fresh out of high school. Was loopy as shit because they need to give me xanax before any kind of surgery. Cute young blonde handling my shit and I didn't just get a boner, I could break plates on that fucker. Don't listen to the asshole who cited them feeling used. It's pretty much an involuntary response. They know that, too bad fuckface doesn't.
>>703618972
I'm rock hard now
>>703626830
>triggered
maybe you should take a break from /b/ for a while
>>703626695
I don't even think you are a girl, pics
>>703626687
>born with hemophilia
sucks mate :/
>i never understood what they are doing when they are pressing around on your stomach...
Routine physical include abddominal palpation, they are looking for lumps, and checking if anything is painful down there. In your specific case, it could reveal hematoma/old internal bleeding
>>703615198
Gayer than Liberace, Michael Jackson and Elton John combined.
>>703626695
and you enjoyed every last bit of it you sicco
>>703626687
They're checking for hernia when they do that and for hemiphiliacs like you for undue pressure that would signal internal bleeding.
>>703615606
That story would have ended with and I fucked her in the ass when we got back to my uncles house, I mean if you weren't a little beta bitch.
>pretty sympathic
>sympathic
>the fuck
>>703613392
>>>703612815
>Was this on penis inspection day?
Oldfag detected
>>703616372
A homo and a dog fucker, keep diggin that hole Charlie.
>>703627131
>sucks mate :/
it's okay, just type A. unless i have injuries at my joints or ankles i don't need substitute.
>Routine physical include abddominal palpation
aah, that makes sense
>>703627212
well, as long as she fondles my balls next time again she can do whatever she wants with me.
>>703621626
I'll need an explanation for that one...
>>703626650
>Having the need to declare yourself the winner
kek
You (hopefully) know you're wrong, everyone who's read your replies know you're wrong, and I know you're wrong.
Seeing the amount of faggotry in your reply, I just had to reply one last time
>>703624843
Ignorant comment
>>703621626
kekerino
>>703618888
checked
>>703619095
Xvideos.com
>>703618888
>>703627755
Wonderful.
>>703627385
They stopped giving out inspections?
>>703619037
Was she even a nurse or just a passerby?
>>703627385
The original penis inspection thread was just 4 years ago. Hardly oldfag.
>>703614329
> she makes me hard
> mfw she keeps me erect until she is done
You forgot to say how she got you hard.
>>703628616
with her hand. wank till hard
>last summer or so
>after several months on a new office job, getting some dull pain in my left nut
>probably just me sitting in a same uncomfortable position but kinda freaking out because my cousin had testicular cancer and that shit is no joke
>schedule ultrasound exam
>arrive to what turned out to be some tiny clinic, it's literally a room sized office with a single lady working inside
>she's closing soon so no one there
>just me and her in a dark office, uncomfortable as fuck
>I get undressed, lie down
>she gives me a paper napkin to cover my dick
>starts examing my balls with that dildo like ultrasound thingie that slides around
>kinda feels good but too worried about health to get a boner
>finishes, tells me everything is okay
>if that exam was cheaper, I would schedule another one just for the lulz
