Tell us your secrets /b/! >Give us your best ones.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Tell us your secrets /b/!
>Give us your best ones.
I let the dogs out
>>703528153
kek
>>703528153
who?
>>703529183
Retrospectively, I'm glad I didn't make this post. Thank you.
who let the dogs out?
I like strawberry milkshakes
>>703529372
Jordan, I think you are amazing. I'm sorry I've just made everything in your life more difficult. I just want you to be happy.
I overdosed twice in 2014 and never went to a hospital
>>703529799
what did you take?
>>703530574
Random pills that ive found in my drawers, really old pills too. Ibuprofen, depression, ocd and bipolar meds.
I hate this country so much that I'm voting for Trump
I took a shit in my parents dining room plant pot, mixed it in the soil and that whole part of the house stunk forever and they couldn't find where it was coming from. I was 13 at the time, they still dont know why it stunk like shit for a few months kek
>>703531195
I dont like you.
two weeks ago i groped my sleeping sister's breast for just a few seconds and i still feel really bad about it
Jerked off in a friend burger. But only because she needed the nutrients!
I was raped by my bestfriend at an anime convention
I got coerced by a guy to give him a blowjob and ended loving it when he pushed on my head and told me how to do it
i have a fetish, i want to be pegged by a hot tall woman
I keep posting my ex gf on 4chan ... So much that most of you hate her being posted ... But I just enjoy everyone fapping to her so much
>>703531403
Shit was so cash
I post pics of this girl from work that I like on here in pretty much and cocking thread or facebook fap thread.
i have a little white step daughter (yes, she's over 18) that i want to see in the middle of a "compromising situation"
i hope that maybe one day, i'll come across this on one of my internet boards i frequent.....
browsing the porn section
see this
"Tiny little strawberry-blonde girl sucks off a gang of niggers in Throat Gagger scene"
and then the description
"Tiny 5 foot nothing <HER> sucks off the biggest, blackest dicks in porn, and eats ALL the cum"
and it's right above a blowbang publicity pic of her down on her knees with her sweet little face surrounded by 10 black cocks right at mouth level, all 10" or more, all within inches of her innocent little lips but all ready for sucking and doing a tonsilectomy on this tiny little white girl. i'm talking a mercilessly hard throat fucking. i mean that mouth is going to be a warm, wet, sloppy home for hard nigger cock for the next two hours of more. a nasty spit and pre cum filled fuck socket for MASSIVE BLACK COCKS.
i want to watch that little fucking whore SWALLOW big black cocks. i mean like mandingo BBC. and i mean a fucking 10 nigger mouth raping. at the first of the scene she would be asked "what are you here to do today?" and her answer would be, "suck a lot of black dick" then she would be asked "how many" and she'd answer "i don't even know how many are here. i guess every black dick here gets a turn in my mouth." when she has a pitch black telephone pole size hard nigger cock in her throat and they ask her if she loves sucking black cock, the only thing i want to hear out of her is "glugg gaahh gagg flughhh". i want to watch her nose touch a 12" nigger dicks stomach. i mean swallow it right down to the fucking nuts!!! and as the box cover said, she's gotta eat ALL THE SPERM!!! load after load i mean. good source of iron style, thick ropes of hot nigger sperm filling her sweet little white mouth and sliding down her tiny little white throat.
seriously, she's a fucking bitch. i hate her
Wait... If you tell your secret... Then it's not a secret anymore? all lying faggots..
I secretly enjoy the smell of the sweat that gathers in my groin when I havent showered in a few days. And I like to look close the texture of my turds, holding them in my hand with a tissue.
How fucked am I?
I secretly loathe the blacks
she confided me in this to help her ease her guilt (and goes to church)
she ruined over 10 years of friendship with a large group of friends.
she doesn't know i told 2 of the guys (they're my friends)
she still confides in me and is worried/stressing how her secret came out.
>>703531949
sounds bad
>>703532186
post
>>703527976
I'm wearing a diaper while my mother in law is in the house. And I just wet it
>>703527976
I can't lie.. I like big butts.
I like discipline and punishment, particularly spanking and preferably young girls. Rules and consequences, pre and post punishment rituals. This compliments my fetish for soft, smooth butts and school uniforms.
My GF has a video on her laptop of her getting railed by a huge dick and I have masturbated to it often
I've been off my meds for weeks
>>703527976
I routinely have nightmares where I bury the body of someone I murdered. Not always burying, sometimes it's burning, hiding in some place or maybe cutting up and feeding to pigs. Anyway in these dreams I'm being pursued by the law or someone who knows what I did. For days I wonder if it was a dream or not, walk around all freaked out trying to act normal. I've considered seeing a therapist.
47, married w/ kids.
I once hired an escort and I tried to choke her and tie her up. I wanted to keep her as my sex slave. But didn't go as planned
>>703533972
I'll help you hide the body, if you let me spank your kids.
I went out for dinner with some friends, and our server was this really cute young brunette girl. I murmured "she's so beautiful" a little too loud and she overheard me. She left her phone number on my bill, but I was so beta I didn't call her for fear that our subsequent relationship wouldn't work out. Now I can't even go back to that restaurant because I don't want to run into her again. It was my favourite restaurant.
>>703527976
I secretly saw OP sucking a nigger dick while another nigger was fucking his butt.
>>703534873
Better late than never buddy you should give her a call tonight and just explain that you've been nervous but you would really like to take her out
>>703532186
I suppose it's a poor substitute for actually being able to fuck her, but someone else is doing that now
I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
>>703532633
On the scale of b/10? About a 4
>>703533575
Does she know you've seen it? Would u share over kik?
>>703527976
Did she write that in a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey?
>>703533575
I assume it's not you, but was it done while you were together?
so i was at work today and there's this lady who's office i was cleaning, i was pretty much bored and nothing to do but pretty horny so i was like fuck it, I'll just masturbate to her pictures she has hanged up of her and her daughter, so i was jerking off in her office to her pictures for a good while and i grabbed a cup of the lady who sat next to her and rubbed my tip all over the top of her cup, precum poured and smeared all over it and i got an idea, i was like why not cum in the girls container so went back to the first lady and slid my tip into the container, a aluminum cup and started to jerk it till my sweet loads bursted out into her cup filling it up with whatever liquid she has in it, she has work tomorrow and im just hoping to God she chugs down my cum or at least a drink or her neighbor wraps her lips around the cup. this just happened today and i stole her pictures and have her name down and plan to tell her in a couple days.
I'm trans but still identifying as male because I'm not passable.
My dad molested me when I was 4. Due to difficulty emotionally processing what had happened to me, I then molested all my friends. When I hit puberty, the repressed feelings of violation, shame, and anger caught up with me, and the horror and disgust I already felt toward my own tainted body was amplified by the realization that I had probably put all my friends through the same trauma.
When no one's around, I go out and buy food from a bunch of different stores (to make sure cashiers don't judge me for buying too much), stow it in my backpack, hide in a small, cramped place, and gorge myself until it's all gone, refusing to stop no matter how sick I feel. This is the reason I'm still fat.
>>703535969
I have no clue. It looks recent.
>>703536033
>>703535606
I posted an overused meme in a thread on /b/ to show how clever I am, but it died
>>703533353
Good boy ;)
>>703527976
i've been writing soft-core porn books for a while now instead of graduating college like my parent's think i am. (i flunked out). The money's picking up a bit, but I'm still gonna have to work a normal job it looks like.
>>703527976
I sometimes dream about being a woman, and I've been dreaming about being in a relationship with Asian traps lately. I also mainly pleasure myself to dicks and vids of men/traps pleasuring themselves these days. Pussy doesn't excite me as it did when I was younger.
>>703536322
Try looking at the properties, assuming it's not a copy.
>>703536800
Don't.
Just... just don't
My adopted sister and I started fucking in July. Got drunk at a 4th of July bbq and made out. One thing led to another and we've been fucking twice a week since then. It's been the best sex of my life. She's so fucking sexy.
>>703536954
Thanks man. Can confirm it was while we were datibg
>>703536118
That's disgusting. You're a fat disgusting faggot and should kill yourself. You deserve what your dad did to you, you nasty glutton.
>>703537211
dubs of truth
>>703537090
No blood relationship = no problem
It'll probably fuck with your parents' heads if they find out, though
>>703536980
I'm not gay, I just really like dicks and giving it to trans/crossdressers for some reason. I've fucked 2 Asian traps in my life.
I like tits
>>703537110
So, you have a choice. If it gets you off, you could tell her you found it and find it hot, then ask if you can watch or join in. That, or she's just simply cheating on you and your relationship is doomed.
>>703537503
>Not gay
>I just like dick
>>703537733
Beat me to it.
And the double dubs of truth are the truth
>>703527976
When I was about 12 I discovered the wonders of masturbation, since then I've been quite adventurous, it's relatively mild atm but here's what happened before:
>be around 12/13
>go to class
>foreigner so had extra english lessons with other foreigners
>small group, sitting around a single desk
>teacher in front of us
>see cleavage
>my peepee senses are tingling
>reach down casually
>pull by weiner out and start slowly stroking
>maintain eye contact with titties when nobodys looking
>when I'm about to explode ask if I can go to bathroom
>"of course anon"
>hide my penis and casually walk to bathroom to finish off
I did this for about a month every day
sometimes i'd get bored just stroking it so I used my surroundings to my advantage
Sometimes I'd put a roll of sellotape around my dick simulating what my 12 year old brain thought was a vagina, shit was cash but eventually it got boring so I stopped
>never got caught
>fond memories
>thinking of them titties atm
>>703537733
Well, yeah. I'm not attracted to men or masculine features, just dick.
>>703537899
Nice dubs
>>703531195
how'd the plant do?
>>703537925
>my peepee senses are tingling
kek'd
>>703537503
I don't understand you.
I've fucked a trap before, it was low-tier anal sex.
Still would have done it for a quarter the price.
>inb4 abrahamic
>>703537688
I'm assuming it was just a one time thing. Although no condoms are used.
Idk if I could handle watching it in person
>>703537997
So this is dick in the femineine sense, then. Not the one that defines masculinity?
>>703531949
>at an anime convention
as if anime needs any more bad rep you faggot
>>703538283
I think him going to the convention was his dirty secret
I fucked my sister for some weed. Ages 10 and 13. You can decide who was what age.
>>703538115
Well-manured, so I guess pretty well.
>>703538200
That's why I only go for Asian ones. The first one I did took me in her/his apartment. He had a nice cock and took mine better than any woman. Good makeup, too. The 2nd one, last December, was a bit more aggressive, but wouldn't truly top me like I wanted her/him to.
>>703538274
Yeah, feminine-penis.
>>703527976
Nikki Sevasti, Glenview IL. I miss you more than you will ever know. I just wish you knew.
i tried to fuck my ~5 year old cousin when i was ~12 (idr exact ages)
>>703536202
Not trying to abuse this thread tho secret is in there + need advice
>>703538587
how'd that go?
>>703538587
At least you tried. That's the main thing.
>>703538475
Thank god
I've gone so far down the rabbit hole i don't think i can really fully come back. Ik im no longer normal and cant live a normal life. However it made me happy, and i can say im content.
>>703538736
kek
>>703538851
/pol/?
I recorded my girlfriend cheating with another woman, I fap to it all the time
>>703534164
Kek
What went wrong tho
I mean that plan was solid AF
>>703538898
no
i usually just lurk around b, tg, and once in a blue moon v
>>703538540
>letting the trap top your ass
Now you filthy homosexual.
>>703534164
greentext the events please
>>703538220
Why? Clearly you enjoy watching her get pleasure from being fucked; what better than to be there in person, see her reactions to the other man, hear her pleasure first hand? If she stays with you then it's just sex for her - rare in a woman.
If it's not just sex then you're fucked, but at least you'd know
>>703539021
You never wanted to try it?
>>703538115
It flourished. Think it finally died 3-4 years ago,. So it lasted a good ten years after my initial dump.
I was walking by when Clinton had her episode earlier. There were people "whisper shouting" things like "get the van!" "she cant walk" and "cover is dont let them see". Two of her suits tried to take cameras from people recording and someone saw me staring and rushed after me
>>703538732
good or bad depending on your outlook, i suppose.
>at my aunt's house
>little cousin is playing alone upstairs
>i tell her i want to play a grownup game
>take her to the closet
>tell her about the thing between my legs
>tell her it goes in the thing between her legs
>get her pants off
>realize there is no way i'd be able to do it without hurting her horribly
>told her not to tell anyone
>went and fapped in the bathroom
She said something that tipped her mom (my cousin) off and the cat was out of the bag, I got sent to a few sessions of counseling. Lucky I was young enough to get off that easy (no pun intended)
>>703538556
did she die or something? Why does her facebook stop being updated after January 16?
>>703539218
lucky /b/astard
>>703539145
I got jewed once.
Since I associate judaism with humiliation and discomfort.
>>703539218
You didn't touch her ass?
My wife's sister cleans our house once a week. My wife doesn't know i also get a footjob from her sister once a week. She thought i gave her a raise just to be nice.
>>703539455
nah, once i realized that it wasn't really physically possible i stopped
I went to a concert, there were edgy 16 year old tumblr girls and they were all trying to bum cigarettes from older guys. I had a few friends who sold drugs, so the 2nd day of the concert I gave a girl a cigarette that had been dipped in PCP. She took her shirt off and punched someone and security had to deal with her.
i'd much rather leave and travel the world with the money i got now till im broke and then kill myself than live a miserable life scraping the barrel at some shitty job for 60 years and die unhappy
>>703539155
Haha nice. A fresh dump could possibly hurt your plant, but when it breaks down, that's good eatin'
plantfag here
>>703539145
>>703539432
of getting fucked in the ass, I mean
>>703538941
Did she know you knew? More to the point, did she know you were recording?
>>703539606
Then do it. It's your life, anon. Be free.
>>703539606
the secret is i just to die with atleast some excitement before it.
>>703539612
I see. Maybe if/when I get back to Asia, I'll get it done for real.
>6 years of college just to get topped by a Japanese newhalf
>can die happy now
>>703528153
Who let's the dogs out?
I'm still not sure what the difference is between love and lust. Due to that, I've always been the first one to drop that bombshell in a relationship.
I've been fighting the urge for weeks not to say it with my current g/f.
>>703539744
ill be leaving ppl i unfortunetly care about who want me to stay miserable for 60 years
>>703539572
I mean, touch it, like grab it or feel it up.
>>703539051
True. Weird to imagine my tame gf acting like that but I know it's happened once. Only hang up is in the video the guy is easily 3.5-4 inches bigger than me. I'm below average sized and would be embarrassed to pull mine out.
>>703539575
ohh.
>>703539218
I'm gettin real sick of these pedo-incest-fantasies here
And of all the faggots who buy it every damn time
>>703539575
Good job anon
my first gf ever used me at the worst stage of my life then dumped me not long after and for some reason i dont hate her for it
>>703539282
I see the reverse private army is assembling on the parade ground. Next step is finding her siblings/friends/parents on fb.......
>predictability: truly thy name is /b/
>>703532150
Same dude..
>>703539717
She knows nothing about it, I knew she had been texting the girl for a while so I set up a hidden webcam and when I saw the recording I just busted a big nut to it.
I wanna confront her about it, not to split, but to see if I can watch them go at it or something
>>703529780
she thinks youre a cuck.
>>703538941
Would love to see that!
>>703532991
You seem like a great friend, but you really suck at making charts. Use some fucking labels instead of excessive identexplainers.
>>703540004
Yet there are multiple trap threads, fagnons and other degeneracies rampant. Do you feel the same about them? I bet you love shouting for the m0ds
I do everything i can to stay strong for my family bc ik they all look to me but im so tired of being hurt.
>>703534873
What are you doing /b/ro. Go back. That was her way of telling you she likes you too. What you perceive as an accident was actually something that happened for a reason. Don't be a cuck and disappoint us all. Go back and be with her or get depressed that you had an opportunity to be happy and didn't take it. Your choice.
>>703539916
oh. nah, i wasn't really attracted to her, i just wanted to use her to fuck something
>>703539895
I'll try to explain bro
Lust:
Thought of her is only combined with thoughts of sex
All you want to do is fuck, after cumming you're not that into her anymore and she even gets annoying
You really don't give a fuck about what goes on in her life and whatever she tells you
Love:
Thought of her is paired with all sorts of things, like feeling calm, excited, addicted if you will
You want her by your side. If you go to a game, you want her company, and name it. She's like a best friend and your other half
You're interested in everything she has to say and want to fix whatever is wrong in her life so that she's happy.
Hope I helped kek
I think im trans.
I dont hate being a guy.
I wasnt born in the wrong body,
I am me, but,
I am unhappy
I am unconfortable
I hate being super masucline.
I love the idea of having a figure.
I wanna paint my nails.
I wanna wear makeup.
I wanna coordinate outfits.
I have like two guy friends and god knows how many girl friends.
I want to be cute.
I want to be pretty.
And if i could do all those things without a second look, walk down the street and just get glances that you give to strangers, no stares, if i could have the freedom to what i want and be who i wanted while people are thinking im normal?
I think i could be happy.
I recorded my sisters friend in the bathroom and the sd card it is saved on is somewhere in my sisters house now.
>>703539922
Does she get off with you when you fuck? If so, you've nothing to worry aboutand she just likes the odd trip in the wild side. You could just watch and keep it trousered.
If she struggles to get off with you, then she may be seeking something you can't give her, which may spell trouble ahead.
Not a secret but this anon chick I was flirting with turned out to be black
Should I back off?
>>703541119
That tells me I know the difference, but why does it always seem I say it too soon?
>>703527976
Theres this girl i cant stop thinking about. I worked with her a few months ago but she quit...worked with her for like 2 months and thought she was really cool and she flirted with me all the time..but has a boyfriend and is pregnant...want to see her again but dont know how to go about breaking the ice
>>703541119
Love =/= being a beta faggot
>>703541140
youre not trans
you just had a control freak dad figure. am i wrong?
when I was in college a good friend of mine I had a MAJOR crush on passed out super drunk and barred out in my room.
I didn't technically put my dick in her, but I did taste her cunt for a solid hour, then blew my load in her open mouth. She has no clue, but is now married to a guy who not only knew, but asked for pictures.
Pic very related
>>703541288
how the fuck did you not know she was black in the first place
>>703541610
Very? My dads great, i respect him more than anyone else in the world.
>>703531171
That's clever!
My secret is about someone else's secret. I posted her secret along with pics of her, her first name, and city on a fairly popular website. I'm dreading the day she finds it.
>>703537090
Fuck on, but understand that you don't have a genuine relationship with your family anymore. You're rogue, but that's okay.
>>703541568
Says the eternal virgin
>>703540155
lol, no. you are far off.
>>703541618
That is one sword of Damocles that will drop on you at their first really serious bust-up, especially if you actually gave him the pictures he requested.
At some time in the future, you're fucked
I fucked OPs mom
>>703541342
Because you want pussy
And saying "I love you" doesn't carry the same meaning as it used to, it's now some kind of greeting
I love you, bro
>>703541610
Psychofail
>>703541119
You can't define love. Trying to condense it into marketing-induced habits won't lead you nowhere but to cyclic deception.
Please be more open-minded, or you might experience a real emotionnal fallout.
Faggot.
>>703542092
Does anyone actally give a shit about this stupid, overused meemee?
>>703542016
We're well over 2 years past the statute of limitations, and I never sent him anything.
>>703527976
Fap to my gf's little sister. I stole some panties for her and use them as a rag for cum.
>>703541610
You tried
I went to fuck a prostitute shemale and couldn't get hard because too nervous. She fucked my ass so fucking hard. I loved it.
>>703542374
You do.
>>703542367
> You can't define love
We got a poet over here
>>703542396
There's the drama when he confronts her about you eating her out and swallowing your load, omitting or denying that she was oblivious. Lucky he doesn't have photographic evidence.
>>703542515
Nope, just curious. You can call my mother whatever you want.
I fucked a ladyboy in Pattaya.
I fucked girl that would only be legal in Mexico, and a few other places, in Laos.
I've can't gonorrhea once, and chalmydia three times.
I have others, but those are the ones nobody else knows.
>>703543085
I'll call her Barbara.
>>703542722
Okay, shut you ass flaps and produce an essay about love on a philosophic viewpoint.
For many, many people it goes way beyond consumer habits and instant gratification.
I wish you got out of your room and took a walk to see the world, it's srsly not that shitty.
>>703528153
How dare you
I used to want to fuck my sister, but now she's been away for so long I don't feel it anymore.
>>703541818
How about just giving us her first name then?
I used to fuck a 14 y/o when I was 22
true story faggots
>>703532633
What the fuck
I think my best success came from steroids and that i am dating my gf because she allowes me to receive money
>>703543347
If that makes you happy. Paul Simon called her Betty
I have a fantasy about marrying a female cousin of mine, but I don't have any cousins at all. =/
14 get
I love sniffing and licking assholes.
Every girl I've ever fucked I've done that.
Last month me and a few of my friends went on a road trip to the country side. It was just me, my girlfriend, a few of my friends and their girlfriends/boyfriends as well. During the trip we rented one single room at a sketchy motel. Literally all 13 of us were in the room designed only for two people. It was a crowded experience and we were all stuck with each other in one cramped room. I don't know exactly how it happened but somehow things got really sexual between all of us and we ended up having a orgy in that small room. I was sleeping with my friend's girlfriends and they were sleeping with mine and somehow all of us were okay with it. We stayed at that motel room for a few more days just repeatedly indulging in sex with one another and almost completely ignoring the road trip itself.
When we got back home I honestly wasn't sure of what to make all of that. None of us really talked about what happened and now we're all trying to pretend like it never existed...
I have a type of OCD and my gf treats me bad,
i'm close to graduate college (~8 months) snd kinda feel hopeless.
I have a girlfriend and had several others in college but still haven't felt anything "real".
I don't really care about school or my future and all i want to do is live my life like I want to.
>>703543904
So that's none so far, then. Just fingering and sniffing your own, eh?
>>703527976
That I am a gay furry. Big deal.
>>703531602
my sister came on to me when she was 15 and high on pills and begged me to fuck her, she said that she was just joking and threw up on my bed.
it was a brand new Tempur-Pedic bed, with the expensive as fuck pillow, and microfiber sheets. i then had to explain to my mother, father and girlfriend why my 15 year old sister was naked and covered in vomit on my brand new bed.
>>703544079
sorry to disapoint you, but that's true.
at some point I thought some of them would complain but never happened.
feelsgoodman
I once let a dog lick me while I jerked off, came and was licked right up. Felt good, no pb needed, minimal shame afterwards.
>>703544022
What happens in a room in a sketchy motel stays in a room in a sketchy motel.
Otherwise.........
>>703539922
would u post it for us anon?
When I watched the chris-chan mangina I fapped and I still want that image
>>703544022
How's the aids? I hear it's a fetish now, time to cash in.
>>703543351
kek triggered pansexual
> the world is not that shitty
No but you know what is? You are. You're a shitty little faggot identifying as dr.love(dick
Go away pansexual
>>703544263
If I was disappointed by works of fiction I'd be a fool, as it says at the top of the page
>>703541854
Yeah I don't care about them. Just her. She's perfect.
I'm in love with a girl I dated for 3 weeks, we still hang out in the same group but she acts like nothing ever happened between us...
>>703544819
did u fuck her? how was the sex?
>>703544746
Must suck being that insecure, man.
i am a happy person, but enjoy being alone way too much.
i think i'm having some slight depressions, but don't really care about it as it's not mandatory
i would love to just run and quit my job and leave my family and friends, but yet as soon as i start thinking about it i feel like it wouldn't work out
>>703543534
how was it?
>>703533575
lol that looks kinda like my dick…wait a minute!
Im almost 24 and still a virgin. I'm in the military (airforce linguist) so no im not fat and I dont tell anyone and always lie about it to fit in
>>703545013
fucking hot.
she used to let me fuck her in the ass and swallow all my blow.
she was waaay sexual than I thought a 14 year old chick could be.
we had to end things because her father was batshit crazy and I didn't want to get in trouble.
her little pussy smelled sweet and her skin was soft as fuck.
I have a secret.
>>703545453
GTFO
I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me.
>>703545453
Not any more, you don't
>>703544701
>You're a shitty little faggot identifying as dr.love(dick
You americunts can't even vehiculate ideas outside of grotesque imagery.
>huhh huuh my life is hell imma cut self
See I can do it too. It's faster to talk about me than to actually stand a real debate about it.
That's the reason why you're a fuckboi who's being cucked instead of a proper motherfucker.
Damn I wish I was yesterday. I hate you tards.
>>703545550
Why'd you make those pictures?
>>703545550
I really need this as a full greentext in my life
I don't like my friends that much but I hang out and talk with them anyway because I don't want to be lonely
>>703545550
You are beautiful, they didn't deserve to see them anyway.
>>703545266
When I was in (1n0) I had a subordinate who joined as a virgin. He was a social basket case. Cried in the bathroom at work. Eventually, he started working out a lot, got ripped, and banged a chick in the unit.
Just stop giving a shit about getting laid. Talk to chicks without fear, and it will take care of itself.
>>703545331
damn that sort of turned me on..
>>703545550
Best thing I've read in a long time.
>>703545785
So you're a basic human then?
After these recent Captchas, I'm now a compulsive shopper in small stores
i took an iq test and got diagnosed hyper intelligent when i was 13. haven't told anyone
i sleep only 5-6 hours a night and which causes me to be woolgathering a lot when i talk to my friends
>>703545785
You're the worst nightmare of every caring friend.
0/10 would not eat befriend
>>703541818
>>703543487
Lauren
>>703527976
I hate my older sister so much, but she is the only person who "knows" me and can have a conversation with me. She constantly reminds me of why I hate myself.
>>703527976
Years ago I pretended to be a kid online, because my kiddo had no friends. We were "friends" for awhile, until they made a friend irl. Then I, in my kid persona, just gradually drifted away. I will never ever tell.
>>703546371
Liar, give us her real name.
>>703546057
an IQ of 62 is classed as 'hyper retarded' not 'hyper intelligent' you moron
>>703545711
Vehiculate isn't the word you were looking for, as it means transport by vehicle.
I think you meant "articulate"
>>703544810
Post more pics?
>>703532186
No one faps to her idiot.
>>703527976
I fucked my friend when we were both 8, 2 males we arent gay tho, never heard from him since then
i have actual proof 9/11 was done by aliens
>>703546871
Post
![cheese-nan[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/9a2f7V0.jpg "cheese-nan[1].jpg")
Not
A
Native
Speaker
>>703546871
Post it
>>703527976
I stuck a finger up my ass tonight for the first time. It was... kinda awesome.
>>703544810
Just don't get her preggers. You don't want some retarded kid.
>>703527976
I'm a communist and I think the world is going to end like the Spanish Civil War but with more genocide and global desolation.
>>703546949
>>703546961
Your human brain is not further evolved enough to comprehend
I have a terminal illness and haven't told most of my friends. It's destroying my liver and I drink a lot to speed up the process. They think I'm cool because I give stuff away and travel a lot, but it's just because I'll be dead soon.
>>703532499
>>703547054
You suck mates
>>703546983
Ain't it though. Gotta be careful you'll be getting pegged or fucking traps
>>703527976
A few months ago my buddy and his wife invited me over. We watched a NASCAR race and grilled out/had drinks. It turns out, they wanted to include me in a threesome. The threesome went really well, he and I took turns getting blown and fucking her. She sent me a text a few weeks later, and she came over to my place and I ended up fucking her. Not love making, not gentle, straight fucking. She howled like a whore. Now she comes over on the regular, just for fucking. She wants to fuck and then she leaves. She wants me to come inside her and then she goes home.
I havent said anything to my buddy, but I am pretty sure they are acting out some kind of cuck fantasy where she goes home and shows him my cum inside her, and he gets off on it.
I think that if I say anything to him, that the gravy train of good sex will come to a crashing halt. I am not fucking anyone else right now, so I appreciate a woman who wants to come over and fuck me and then leave.
>>703546594
just wanted to tell him the exact same thing, love those wannabe poets
>>703543726
I thought Paul Simon called her Al
>>703544701
Hilarious edgelord strikes again
>>703547011
Your secret is you haven't read the thread and now it's out
>she's his adopted sister
I'm an anarchist sympathizer and would even join their ranks if there were enough people on board that weren't just contrarian twenty somethings.
The secret is relevant because I'm a fairly successful young business person with political ties in my community...my conservative peers would shun me if they knew.
>>703546371
>>703546466
... Lauren.
I'm a nurse(male) in a hospital. Most hospitals are understaffed and our mine was no exception. About 8 years ago we hired a nurse, another guy. He seemed cool and he usually worked the late shifts with me which was good because we had almost no body to cover those hours. One night on break we got to talking about our sex lives. I admitted I was in a bit of a dry spell. To much time at work to really date and all. He made some small talk back about dating but then his face got real serious and he said your a cool dude I like you , so have you ever considered spending time with with some of the patients in the convalesnant wing (coma wing). I was confused and told him I did my work in that wing fast and got out like everyone else. He said no I mean "spending time" with a female patient. Alone. I laughed since I thought he was joking but admitted yea sometimes I thought about it. He asked if I ever did anything. I felt like I could trust him and would deny it anyway if it ever came up so I told him about the time I came to work a little drunk and fondled the boobs of a really busty patient who'd been in a car wreck and coma for six months. I asked him if he ever had. He smirked at me and asked me if I'd seen the 19 year old who had a series of seizures and was unresponsive. She had just come in a few days before. I said yea the blonde he then said the words that would change my life. He said he had sex with her twice already. I called bullshit of course but he was insisting he was serious. We did a bunch of talking and came up with plans to always take the late shifts when possible and one of us always try to be shift supervisor that night. And we always volunteered to cover other duties in the convalesnant wing. 8 years later and we have had sex with probably hundreds of patients. Our hospital doesn't do long term care for comas it's a transitional type of wing to give them time to see if there will be improvement. So we always have fresh inventory.
>>703537211
This is why I come to /b/.
>>703541618
A sure case of "foetal alcohol syndrome" if ever I saw one ... that nose bridge ...
i got drunk over at a friends house. during the time i spanked the palm of my hands while i was talking because it was funny. each time his gf was laughing. i then placed my hand near friends ass and slapped my palm real hard. I heard a yelp of a "yes!" coming from his girlfriend.
somethings up.
>>703547349
One day comrade
> One Day
>>703537503
Right there with ya man. *brofist*
I did 9/11
I have a GF but I go constantly on Omegle and wait for girls to show me the goods and show my cock. I do it specially after a few days not having sex with her, but still feel shitty when doing it. I feel like a fucking piece of shit telling her I love her after doing that.
Jesus I'm pretty evil but coma rape I think wins. Congratulations.
>>703547305
No, he called her Betty, he said she could call him Al
>>703547614
Preferably with my left hand.
>>703546330
If it makes you feel better I'm not really that close with any of them. Or any one except my mom. I avoid those kind of relationships actually
>>703547430
>Uma Thurman
>>703547349
>Fight club
Your life secret is a movie. Your on 4chan because you think it's a secret club.
Just like how I will never bolt spikes onto my car and raid the local refinery.
>>703527976
I enjoy cutting myself and rubbing salt on the wounded area, followed by slapping it with my hand for extra pain. And I also like to lick the blood and salt from the wound.
I don't know why I do it. I just like the pain and excitement it gives me.
>>703547248
Hey it's a fantasy. :)
>>703547338
Whats that matter you can't fuck your sister or you'll get birth defects.
>>703547430
wowzers this cannot be true. you would have been caught by now.
>>703546961
>>703546949
you sure?
fine... okay i will
>>703547701
what happens when coma 19 yr old ends up pregnant from 2 guys dropping loads in her every day?
also: they keep vitals on these patients. I think that if they were getting fucked, that their heart rate and brain activity would increase.
>>703547651
how do you find actual girls on omegle?
I wish my wife fucked other guys
>>703547430
Is it weird the first few times or is it as amazing as it seems?
>>703547955
Black Magic
>>703547858
Nah Fight Club ain't anarchist that shit is to fascistic.
>>703547958
Kill yourself
>>703547752
I wish I paid more attention sometimes.
I ruined the 13 year friendship between my ex and my current gf so I could date my current gf
>>703547430
Ever in the ass or get them pregnant?
>>703547701
Being in the medical field can really dull your empathy. You come to see people as things. It becomes easy to justify just about anything because you see what horrible things people to to themselves and each other everyday. Not to many of us are religious either. The long shifts and general under appreciation don't help.
>seeing my cousin from miles away few times for family meetings
>both 15 sleepover at my home
>heavy cuddling and oral
'hey anon this was fun but we shall make no big deal out off it'
two years later
>we are late for family dinner and shitfaced from last night
>'hey anon, shall we shower togehter? its faster'
>suddenly greatest tits ever ( sh was way flatter with 15)
>both drunk after party
>on the way home making out
>fucked her doggystyle in my car
>she says 'omg what would grandma say... while looking back into my eyes
>blowing my load
> lasted 3 minutes
meh fuck me
>>703547955
Sometimes you can go fishing for 3-4 and find nothing, other times you log in and find a horny slut, willing to show anything you ask. I'm 7" and I only show half my face, so it works once in a while.
Eh, fuck it.
Been fucking my cousin since we both were 15.
Don't see her too often now, but every time I do, like twice a month or so we find a way to sneak out and fuck. And since I'm adopted, no one can say shit about that being immoral
>>703548078
Thats female human nature...
Norge
>>703548194
>I'm adopted, no one can say shit about that being immoral
Why cant i be adopted
>>703548192
ah ok cool. do u warm them up or pull out your cock right away? do u ask them questions first or just ask to see their tits? unmoderated section or normal one?
>>703548197
Human nature is a meaningless subjective thing used to pretend your beliefs are "natural" and therefore unquestionably right.
There are plenty of bitchy men, live with it.
>>703547893
If his sister was adopted then, unlike your parents, they are not blood relatives
>>703547858
You're the guy who thinks he can read an entire person's personality and life history based on an internet post. I've got dirtier shit than this, but I'm just not stupid enough to post it on the internet.
But props, I would be a Road Warrior too if I could.
>>703529545
>>703545711
>>703548483
Jesus, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Being raised together is a enough. Which is why kids from different fathers but the same mother can't fuck. They were raised together. That's what creates incest babies.
I live with my GF and her sister.
Every Sunday my GF goes to work, and every Sunday her sister and I have sex. It's been going on for about 6 months now.
>>703548034
I assume you meant fascist.
That's the point though, anarchism in action devolves into a kind of control of people. Burn everything to equality of nothing, if you are in the way, you must go. Indeed of fighting the state you are fighting everyone who isn't you.
Ect ect explaing fight club is really faggy, i suggest you read the book. Also faggy thing to say.
Praise Khorne.
I got cornered into a question if i was bi curious. some girl around said that all guys are at some point. Its been like the few times that they asked while i was drunk, like they were hunting for phantoms. the thought maybe crossed my mind a few times when i was a kid but it was brief.
If i said no, i wouldn't hear the end of it.
Also i hear that my friend kissed dudes but why doesn't he get shit for it? Why do i always get shit for everything?
>>703548034
>the point
_________________________
>your head
>>703548557
Even the powerpoint is fat and unattractive
>>703548753
It's literally not anarchism it's one man and his followers, it's incredibly fascistic. Read the book and this is still my opinion.
>>703527976
tried to kill myself twice this week when me and my girlfriend did our "handshake" promising i never would
Hugh Mungus is my dad
>>703547897
No and even if I was I'd just be moved to another hospital. Hospitals are like the Catholic Church they move offenders of all types around instead of firing them. The two main reasons are understaffing and liability. Hospitals lawyers are the coldest people on earth, if a doctor makes a mistake he can't even tell the patient until he talks to the lawyers and even then they phrase it liability free like there was an unknown complication. I knew a nurse that was repeatedly caught stealing opiates and using them on the job. She was caught three times before being let go scheduling conflicts and traded to another hospital. They don't even tell the other hospital about her because it's their problem now and warning them would incriminate the original hospital. As long as a patient doesn't press charges against you personally you'll just be moved. The hospital doesn't want the press or the lawsuit.
>>703547430
that leads to dark places
my wife is nurse, ive heard some shit. people like you are why they are only allowed to go the morgue in pairs now
not one, not two, but three people have been fired from her hospital for 'spending time' in the morgue. one of them was female oddly enough
>>703548794
Direct democracy does not equal one dude being idolised as the head of a fight club.
The ideology of the fight club takes from both the right, left and religious sources, a bit like fascism, false consciousness building.
>>703548496
Nah I just know how to rustle anarchists. My sister is an anarchist and she hates fight club but never saw the movie.
>And I did buy my car based on how good it would be in a road war. And I'm saving parts in my yard.
I like to put my dick in our deep freezer and let the door drop.
>>703549158
necrophilia. I dont understand why this is a thing. I can almost see the coma fuck. I might get tempted to roll over a hot young 20 something onto her belly and fuck her from behind prone bone style.
>>703548719
Your retardation is clearly beyond both help and measure. I can only assume that your sister is both your mother and your grandmother and your brother is a goat.
Genetics =/= proximity
>>703534770
kek
>>703547011
Is your secret that you are autistic?
>>703527976
i steal about $90-$100 a week from Walmart not cash but stuff
>>703549158
A woman committing a heinous sex act shouldn't be a surprise...
I once hooked up with a girl at a concert in my tent. Found out a few weeks later that she was only 15. I was 20.
>>703547945
I'm in control of all her stats and I record her vital on charts still you'd be surprised how unsophisticated most hospitals computers are and how much is still logged by hand. I can clean them and give them full baths and mix in medications to prevent pregnancy. And if I'm really lazy I'll just use their mouths and clean up. We are way understaffed and my buddy and I cover each other. So far a few close calls but no real problems.
>>703548792
Because you're so far in the closet you bitch about it on 4Chan.
>>703548960
But annon, the whole part if the leader never existing is the whole point of a leaderless movement. The thing was started by a ghost. Tyler was the leader, but he wasn't real. And there were tons of members who never even met each other. The movement had no center or recruitment, no elections or positions.
Fascism has a pretty strong structure. And lots of tittles like uberhoffer of perfector or count von buggerhimmer
>>703539606
do it phag0t
>>703548103
Anal with coma patients is a lot of work and kinda Russian roulette. Even if you have all the time necessary to prep with an enema they can still void their bowels pretty much anytime. More so if the anus is already open and being stimulated. It can be really messy. I've done it but only a handful of times it's just to much work.
>>703541637
My thoughts exactly
>>703549639
it was how said sex act was committed and what it may have been. apparently she was caught in the act but details were never divulged.
wife and i spent half a bottle of fireball trying to figure it out one night, still no conclusion. we're morbid like that
>>703548719
I hope to god this is bait
>>703549475
I'm not saying genetics is proximity, whatever the fuck that means. So let me break it down real simple for you pleabian
Mother has a boy with father A
Same mother has a girl with father B
EVEN IF THEY LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE THEY WILL CREATE RETARDED CHILDREN IF THEY FUCK
lrn2genetics
