ITT you give me your best dark jokes
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT you give me your best dark jokes
niggers
Why do aethiopians have thin arms and round bellies?
Because they never work and eat all day!
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
why did the chicken cross the road?
>niggers
>>703006724
Why are niggers jealous of dog shit?
Because it eventually turns white and looses its smell.
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?
Gloves
Jk he hasn't opened it yet
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeletal
>>703007659
b-but this picture is a png file..
>>703006724
thank mr skeltal
What's orange and hanging in my back yard?
Shut up. He's my nigger and I'll paint him whatever color I want!
>>703007659
thanks mr. skeltal
Whats the difference between niggers and dog shit?
Obamas dick
Fuck that. Sauce on that handjob pic. Jokes are for Mexicans. The only laughing I'll be doing is out of my penis.
>>703007891
Shiiit I just posted the same joke. You beat me to it.
>>703007404
>>703010646
Fucking kek
one in a hundred
>>703010646
Actually made me lawl hard
>>703006724
>>703007404
CPD from last thread
Why were the kids at sandy hook so disappointed?
They wanted books, all they got were magazines
Why is it so hard to kidnap Ethiopians?
They fall through the holes in the shopping cart
How do you tell if an Ethiopian is pregnant?
Hold it up to a light
How do you hold an Ethiopian rave?
Tape a piece of toast to the ceiling
Girl: Daddy, I don't want to go to school.
Dad: Ok but you know the rules *zip*
Girl: Dad your dick tastes like shit
dad: Your brother didn't want to go either.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
Cornchips
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The one live baby on the bottom eating its way out.
What's the difference between a six-year old and Ford Mustang?
I don't have a Mustang in my garage.
Whats the hardest part of microwaving a baby?
My dick.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
Chewing the Wheelchair.
Whats the difference between a Banker and a Pedophile?
The banker will give you two fives for a ten, the Pedo will give you two tens for a five.
And my favorite...
Why are Orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
>>703006724
I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back "I know."
>>703011371
key that's good
what do you call 5 black people having sex?
a threesome
what's the opposite of christopher reeves?
christopher walken
>>703011894
But there's 5 of them.
how come orphans cant play baseball?
they dont know where home is
>>703006724
If only Africa had mosquito nets, we could save millions....of mosquitoes from dying of aids.
>>703012301
This faggot never took US History
>>703012301
3/5 compromise...
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703006724
Three Clergy Men are walking down the street.
Priest: This new couple just who always sits in the front pew have the cutest little boy. Any idea how I could blow him?
Muslim: Of course, a car bomb!
Priest: No I mean like screw them!
Rabbi: Out of what?
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
my girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day.
thats an awfully big word for a five year old.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yeah, they found her Head and Shoulders in the glovebox
>>703006724
Not really a joke, but this happened today.
>be in van coming back from work together with colleagues, around 7 dudes
>roadblocked by police and firetrucks on bridge
>goddamn we gotta go around the whole way
>go around whole way (we need to pick someone up right behind the roadblock)
>pick up guy, he talked to firemen who said there was a suicidal dude wanting to jump from the bridge in the water
>aight, we drive on and wonder if the guy jumped or not
>after a while we stop at a gasstation
>hear sirence approaching
>medical-van with an image of a scuba-diver on the side races by
>everybody laughs
>>703006724
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them
How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?
Nail the other hand to the floor.
How do you fit 40 babies in a bowl?
Blender
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips
How do you starve a black man?
Hide the food stamps under his work boots.
"Hey. I have black people in my family tree. Pretty sure they're still hanging there."
What do you get when you skin a dead baby?
An erection.
How many Jews can you fit in a Honda Civic?
46. One in each seat and the rest in the ashtray,
how did they make copper wire in the 40's?
Two jews and a penny.
What's pale, orange, and floats in a pool?
A dead baby.
What's black, orange, and at the bottom of a pool?
Same baby a week later
how many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, and a really big light bulb.
I totally read the first post as "Dad Jokes" and I was like... y'all motherfuckers have some sick dads.
>>703016158
Now this, I like
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
what does an old lady's pussy smell like?
depends
>My friend of 10 years beat himself to death.
He just couldn't stop stroking.
>>703018888
Where is he?
>>703006724
Dark humour is like a kid with cancer... it never gets old.
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007644
Kwashiorkor
>>703006724
What's the hardest part about being a pedo?
Fitting in
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
What's black and screams?
Stevie wonder answering the iron
>>703020819
How do jew pedos lure in children?
"Hey kids wanna buy some candy?"
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703012221
It's Reeve, not "Reeves"
Why were the twin towers disappointed when they ordered pizza?
They asked for pepperoni and got plane
>>703006724
Source?
This is not a joke.
>>703007659
ok im down
What's Osama bin Ladin's favorite recipe?
Big Apple Crumble.
Did you hear about the peso with asthma?
He could only breathe in little snatches.
>>703023235
*pedo
thanks mr skeletal
>>703007659
Thanks mr skeltal
What's the difference between a rebellious chicken and a hooker?
One clucks defiance....
What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
You can't unload a truckload of dead babies with a pitchfork.
>>703024098
Whoops.
Worst part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair
The joke? Found that on a popsicle stick
>>703007436
Best ever
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
Thanks Mr. Skeletal.
>>703006724
Not mine, found this on /b/ a few days ago
>>703007659
Thank Mr. Skeletal
statistics say that 9/10 people enjoy gang rape
>>703006724
Source, mate.
Please.
>>703006724
How do you rehabilitate a dilapidated whore?
Stick a ham leg in and pull the bone out.
>>703024567
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWdD206eSv0
>>703024925
Lost
what's the different between a pizza and a jew?
you take the pizza out of the oven before it burns
what's the difference between a nigger and a sack of shit?
the sack
if you drop a nigger and a jew from a building which one lands first?
the nigger, because shit is heavier than ash
a white man is walking around when he sees a massive, towering nigger walking with a pet parrot on his shoulder, he goes and asks:
"excuse me, but what animal is that?"
"a nigger!"
(this one doesn't really work when written)
what are 3 niggers dropping from a skyscraper doing?
good
two niggers are in a car, who's driving?
the police
where do you fit 5 jews in a car?
3 on the back and 2 on the front because the holocaust never happened
two white men are walking around when one sees a nigger with a TV in his hands:
"hey! that's mine! oh no wait, mine's home washing the dishes"
Whats worse then being foced to wear ugly vest from your gandma in public?
>Wearing an ugly vest from your middle eastern garandma in public
Knock Knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
>>703026727
than =/= then
FUCK!
Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
>>703007659
Thank mr skeltal
>>703012301
Dumb fuck
What's a five year olds dick smell like?
*breathes in your face*
>>703007659
thanks mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeltel
>>703007659
Thank me skeltal
>>703007659
Thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
Thank mr skeltal
>>703027112
>>703027112
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
Thank mr skeltal
>>703024098
Kill yourself retard
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
Q: What's better than taking gold at the Paralympics?
A: Not being retarded.
>>703006724
SAUCE!
>>703007644
>>703011314
Speaking of Ethiopians, you ever had Ethiopian food?
Neither have they
>>703007659
thank you mr skeltal
>>703007659
Thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank Mr skeltal
>>703025686
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
Thanks mr Skeltal
>>703012612
US HISTORY KEK
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
Why do orphans like tennis?
It's the only time they get love
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
How do you turn a kid into a dog?
Pour gasoline on him, light a match and watch him go woof
what is 12 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death
>>703034708
Heard a similar 2-part joke
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it
>WOOF
How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
Put it in the freezer overnight and run it through a bandsaw
>MRRREEEEEOOOW
>>703018952
Ive heard these same jokes for 40 years, I disagree
>>703034934
KEK
buck nigger walks into a pharmacy, goes to the counter and asks the pharmacist about getting birth control for his 11 year old daughter. "My god, your 11 year old is sexually active!" the pharmacist exclaims. The nig replies "not really, she just lies there and cries."
What do bucks think the best part about raping a niglet is?
It makes their muh dik look HUGE!
>>703007659
"jpeg"
Whatdoya call a nigger 2,000 feet up in a balloon?
air pollution
>>703035358
The fuck is a buck you nazi faggot
>One night a homeless man and a nun where riding on a bus.
>Homeless man says to the nun youre very pretty sister, I'd like to have sex with you.
>The nun shocked slaps the homeless man and demands the driver stop.
>After the nun gets off the bus driver goes up to the homeless man and says SIster Mary Anon goes up to the cemetery everynight to pray for the dead, meet her alone and get her
>Next night the homeless man goes to the cemetery
>Sister Mary Anon is praying for lost souls
>Homeless man dressed as a priest comes up behind her and says Sister, its God will
>Sister says yes but only if we have anal sex, so I'm still a virgin in the Lords eyes
>They start having sex
>Homeless man takes off this collar tab and costume and yells HAHA Im the homeless man
>Sister Marry Anon turns around and yells HAHA I'm the bus driver
>>703035582
remember faggot: Africa desperately needs more mosquito nets, so we can stop millions of mosquitoes dying from AIDS
Two men and a woman crashland on a deserted island.
After a week, the woman is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.
After a week, the men are so ashamed, they bury her.
After a week, the men are so ashamed, they dig her up again.
>>703035792
lost
What's black and blue and hates sex?
The white girl tied up in a nigger's trunk.
Did you guys hear about that depressed lawnmower?
It was tired of getting pushed around.
>>703036040
you need to seriously dull that edge.
>>703035582
What sucks about being blond with blue eyes?
The pile of dead Jews in your back yard
I can never forgive germany for how they treated my grand dad when he was at the concentration camp. they passed him over for promotion again and again.
Whats the best thing about sex with a 9 year old girl?
If you hit it from the back, you can pretend its a 7 year old boy
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
but dat png tho
>>703007659
Thank mr skeltal
>>703007659
Thank Mr skeletal
>>703011894
I dont get it
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
whats does a al qaeda hide out and a Pakistani preschool have in common?
i dont fucking know i just fly the drones.
>>703037314
Thats not funny my grandfather died in the Holocaust...he fell of a guard tower shooting at some jews
Dark humor is like food in africa. Not everybody gets it.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away in the middle of the night?
Freeze nigga
How can you tell if a black girl is pregnant?
When she pulls out the tampon, the cotton is already picked.
What's the problem with being a nigga and a jew?
You have to go to the back of the oven
What's the difference between jews and Santa Claus?
Santa goes down the chimney but jews go up the chimney.
what do you call 3 Mexicans,a chineese and 2 blacks? Sprinkler syste. Spic spic spic, chink nigga nigga
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears.
>>703011894
Fucking kek
>>703006724
what seperates humans from apes?
>mediterranian sea
What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
I usually don't cum in an apple before I eat it.
>>703007659
thank mr skeltal
Why did the man dick the little boy?
Because Religion.
