I'm in the army and it's fucking retarded. how should
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I'm in the army and it's fucking retarded. how should I get kicked out? I wish DADT hadn't been repealed because I could've just said I was a homo and been out within a month
>>702986818
I was thinking of joining convince me not to?
>>702986818
You probably got a shit score on the ASVAB and got some retarded job
>>702987306
this
Are you MOS-Q?
>>702987478
nah didn't score that bad got average but I'm an MP so you're right I did choose a retarded job
Conceincouse <holy fucking christ that's not even close objector status. Basically you can no longer be in the military because of your morals.
DUI would be the fastest way.
>>702987751
Bullshit, MPs make bank. If you have an MP job then you're already set. Getting a job as an MP takes a long time as well, It must've taken you 3-4 years to get this job already anyway, you would be throwing a lot of work away.
>>702987751
You could try reclassing.
>>702987604
>>702987306
I just think it's fucking retarded. I sit around all day and never do my actual job.It's probably where i'm stationed tho. Do yourself a favor and don't go airborne/get stationed in Bragg. Everyone's a bunch of pricks because they think they're better than everyone else because HURR DURRR AIIIIIRBORNE. Like jumping out of planes is cool and all but I don't think it's worth all the bullshit
>>702986818
deny orders or smoke weed and tell your 1sg
Just fail two pt tests
>>702988159
so youre enlisted?
not an officer?
so as an officer would i have a better experience?
>>702988084
lmao nah bruh all grades/ranks make the same amount of $$ no matter MOS. Plus getting a job in the army doesn't work that way bruv. I chose MP at MEPS then went to do my 6 months of OSUT training and boom. I am become MP.
Show up for PT without your PT belt.
Twice.
>>702988302
oh definitely dude. Officers have it made and they make fucking bank. if you're commissioning I say go for it
>>702987951
This is true. every weekend safety brief I get my commander straight up tells us if we get hauled in for a DUI he's starting the paperwork right then and there. I'm just not tryna lose my license tho
>>702988556
Lol
>>702987703
sadly yes. If I knew the bull fuckery I would have to deal with I would've been one of those sad fuckers that quit in basic or AIT and got dat sweet sweet Entry Level Separation
What do you make as an MP? Here in Canada a fully trained AVN tech gets around 60k a year as a corporal, which is about 4-5 years.
Applying to Air Force Academy, any advice?
>>702988159
You sound like a total cunt, to be honest. I'm not in the service and even I can see that you'd be a fucking nightmare to deal with for long periods of time.
>they think they're better than everyone else
>or you just tried to show off to a bunch of people with more experience than you and got offended when they laughed in your faggot facehole
If you're a dick, people are going to treat you like shit. That's a lesson every male under the age of 30 needs to learn. Its most often why you have problems getting along with the outside world, because only your mother is going to put up with your arrogant bullshit. The rest of us don't have to do jack shit.
>>702989488
Nah considering i'm enlisted and in the army but I just want you to know I spend every waking moment wishing I had joined the Air Force because it is the way superior branch so good on u m8
>>702989753
nah fam I keep my thoughts to myself and play nice with everyone because i don't want to be that guy and get treated like shit like you said
start doing this OP.
>>702989963
lmao
Fail a piss test for thc
>>702990177
check'em
>>702990231
definitely on top of my list o' ideas. Just need to think of where I can score some of dat dank
>>702986818
If you get yourself kicked out you have to pay back any bonus you recieved
>>702989753
>you know all this shit about one person from a post he made talking about how shit a job is
how can you be this butthurt about him talking shit about the military
>>702990482
this is the one time I'm glad my retarded ass signed up without any incentives/bonuses
>>702990491
its a public service announcement, not a personal attack on you boy. relax.
>>702988159
All the way!!!!
>>702990797
noooooooooo
>>702987751
MP huh? Where at? Where did you attend basic and AIT?
I was a sailor so I don't know if this works for you war heroes in the army, but try this:
Piss yourself when you sleep. Do it two or three times. The first couple times, clean up and try to hide it. The third time, go to the unit psych and talk about how mentally disturbed and depressed you are.
It works even better if you do some research into symptoms of depression and whine about them to the psych.
Bam, instant out.
Lost a couple dudes off my shit that did that. Now... I mean... they were weak little faggots for doing it, but i get it.
Good luck OP, you weak bitch.
idk don't get yourself in trouble with drugs or dont following orders
try saying you can't wear weapons
you've changed, moral
you couldnt hurt anyone anymore
>>702990482
as well as being a chapter case which means no collecting un-employment benefits when you get the boot.
go talk to a chaplin OP. don't fuck it up by getting the boot from a failed piss test or random other shit.
pull a clinger, talk to chaplin, get a chapter case and profit.
>>702986818
Just do what I did (twice): say you're going to hurt yourself, demand counselling, say it didn't work, and become a flight-risk. You'll be kicked out under Chapter 5-17 with an RE of "3."
>>702991008
How did you reenlist after a psych discharge?
>>702991106
Waiver, since the first discharge got me an RE of "2C" from the Air Force (I washed out during Basic).
>>702990944
Stationed at Bragg. Did OSUT training in Fort LeonardWood aka Fort Hell on Earth
>>702991222
OKay, Just a tiny test. OF course FLW. I'm an MP here at JBLM. Grade? Don't be bitch tough it out
just do your fucking three years get an honorable discharge and stop being a pussy
>>702991219
Why reenlist then if you hate it?
I did my six and that was enough for me.
>>702991377
>tfw u have a 5 year contract
>>702986818
Claim to be suicidal. Stick to it and say you want to kill yourself because you regret joining. It'll work.
>>702991351
ya boy's only a PFC. What about you?
>>702991494
I had nothing else going for me; I wasn't prepared for adult life as I thought I was, and all I knew was the military (which I was forced into to begin with).
>>702991008
you did that in both AF basic and Army basic? or did that actually work in big army?
watch mlp and start sucking your thumb
>>702986818
>I wish DADT hadn't been repealed because I could've just said I was a homo and been out within a month
that isn't how it worked
just being gay didn't get you kicked out
your commander had to prove that you were actively engaging in gay activities
basically you had to get caught in the act to get kicked out
and going to your command and outing yourself for the purpose of trying to get discharged would usually get you some NJP for dereliction of duty or disrespecting an officer or some other general catch all reg
>>702991804
Air Force Basic, and then Army AIT a year and a half later.
How hard is it to get into the military? I'm strongly considering going into it to become a med tech but I don't have much experience.
>>702991900
lmao I'd kiss a dude or touch his wiener to get that honorable idgaf
>>702990954
sounds like a great way to get brought up on malingering charges
>>702991658
SGT. If you're unhappy you need to speak to someone. Once your mind gets in that mode you just go farther and farther.
>>702986818
My friend was discharged without honor because he went awol for a couple weeks without permission. He wound up doing a lot of psychedellics and went on a spiritual journey that he states made him find himself.
>>702986818
Kill yourself
The only way out
when everyone is asleep shout out in the john "THIS IS MY RIFLE! THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!" until it wakes up your co
>>702992022
it wasn't an honorable discharge
not even less than honorable
getting kicked out for being gay was a straight up dishonorable discharge for conduct unbecoming a (insert branch specific general title here)
>>702992103
aw shit *snaps to parade rest* Airborne Sarn't. It probably doesn't help that everyone else here hates it just as much so there's not much positive reinforcement.
>>702991768
Sorry man that's rough.
It's not for everybody. I served my time but it felt like a sentence, know what I mean?
Glad I'm out.
>>702992022
Dudes be kissing and touching dicks just for fun.
If you can't go above and beyond regular gay chicken you won't get noticed. Military is full of closet cases.
Do what I did (unintentionally) show up to formation late and drunk (twice). Then, flunk out of rehab.
>>702986818
drugs would be fastest way. Narcotics or old prescription. next piss test will have you started on your way.
>>702992355
>Comes to parade rest
>Talks
What the fuck.
>>702992583
I was looking into that. I read that if you self-refer to ASAP then admit that you relapsed your command is supposed to start the chapter paperwork.
>>702992583
only works for lower enlisted
had 3 senior NCOs do that in a dry theater
each of them got sent home where they were promptly promoted
>>702992355
You need to go through your NCO Support Channel. They are there to help you even for instances like this. Don't get caught up with other privates bitching and moaning. Sometimes it sucks, we hate it too sometimes. When did you graduate? How much left on your 5yr?
>>702992376
I kind of do. I mean, I'm not against the military or anything (coming from a military family), but it really *isn't* for everyone, and my parents should have seen the importance of a college degree/education as I did and still do.
While I was waiting to be chaptered out of the AF, I had to spend 21 days in a prison-like flight/battery. We didn't do PT, didn't march (except next-door, to chow), we just sat around all day talking and watching paint dry. 21 Days, no phones, no TV, no internet, etc. Although, there were a couple of instances where they hooked up the TV in the day-room with a straightened out metal part from a spiral notebook...but we couldn't just sit there and watch; we had to be extremely careful.
As for waiting to get out of the Army, I stared at a wall for 15 days while being constantly monitored and escorted by other soldiers and NCOs. I couldn't smile, I couldn't even go to the latrine without being escorted. I can't tell you how great it was to ride the planes back home after those instances.
>>702989488
lol
>>702986818
Id suggest hitting on your lt but he would prolly like it
>cuck army implied
>>702986818
What were you expeting? Your own CoD adventure?
>>702992680
lmao what? you're allowed to talk at parade rest. It's how you're supposed to talk to NCO's. Unless this is the SGT because i'm not sure who i'm replying to right now (when did 4chin do away with ID codes? been a minute since I was on) and you're about to drop some knowledge on me
>>702988556
Hardship discharge. Have a member of your family get some nasty cancer that you need to be close to home to help out with.
You're a POG and a fag and a leg
>>702986818
become a woman, it's super popular now, but the army still consider it mental illness. instant section 8.
>>702993070
I am POG as fuck. not a fag tho and not a leg.
>>702992823
They impose that prison atmosphere on recruits for two reasons.
1. They know you're faking and they want to make your last weeks as awful as possible.
2. Youre not faking and you're a basket case. If you die on base your civvie faggot parents will sue for a billion dollars. Therefore they watch you like a hawk so you don't hang yourself.
>>702993167
Airborne. At least you ain't a leg.
>>702992962
>you're allowed to talk at parade rest
true
>>702992680
>>Comes to parade rest
>>Talks
>What the fuck.
also true
you are not allowed to talk at parade rest while in formation
you are required to talk to a senior ranking NCO at parade rest (as an individual not in formation)
>>702993223
Interesting. I certainly wasn't faking, and I'm sure my parents wouldn't sue (since they're military and I have a civilian record of depression and psych visits). I had never been happier to see a McDonald's afterwards though.
>>702992823
bro they kept the people in my basic class that were getting discharged for fucking ever. there was a dude who straight up quit the second day we got to our company and he was there until AIT started.Same with people who were getting legit medical discharges. You're lucky you got sent home so quick in both cases.
>>702992962
This might be a difference between services.
In the navy, you cannot speak at parade rest. It's effectively a stress position for junior sailors who fucked up. Not unusual to put one of then at parade rest outside chief's office for an hour before they get yelled at. Breaks em down.
You can speak at attention and at at ease.
Fail PT dummy. Too easy. I've got five months left of this shit and I'm done.
>>702993469
Yes. When I was waiting to be discharged from the AF, there was a guy who had been in that flight for 5 months before I got there. He was able to go to the PX whenever, had his cellphone, books that weren't in the "library," etc. Heh, it's been 9 years, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's still there.
Never checked into it, but a JAG told me getting kicked out for Height/Weight is an honorable discharge. Not failing APFT though. So, bust tape (thin neck, bust out your gut), and they'll counsel you. After enough times of not losing enough, DD214!
I'd double check whatever AR or UCMJ code that falls under, cause ive only heare that from one JAG and never checked up on it.
>>702991936
Easy as fuck, im at corps school now, otherwise known as med tech for air force, but air force has it chill af honestly, plus you have all the hot girls
Quit being a whiny fucking cunt and do your time. When you get out, you'll be able to use your GI Bill to literally get paid to get a college degree. On top of that, you'll have free healthcare and a free ride to the top of the list for any civil service position.
>EMBRACE THE SUCK
I leave in 5 days for the army went big signed the 18x bro
>>702993586
>Fail PT dummy. Too easy. I've got five months left of this shit and I'm done.
just don't be a retard about it
if you get to 1 rep short of passing then quit, or walk back and forth in front of the finish line until you fail then you will get slapped with disobeying orders, dereliction of duty, disrespecting an NCO &/or officer, and conduct unbecoming
>>702993923
may god have mercy on your soul. Good luck in Airborne school, keep those feet and knees together!
>>702989753
Vet here: OP's more right than you are, especially being stationed on Ft. Bragg.
Op, the "best" way out for you is to get broken. You don't want an OTH discharge. Just suck it up and drive on. You can make it.
Also, remember, you can fuck green beanies careers before they can even start!
>>702992784
I've been here at my unit for almost a year already. I just find(almost) all my NCO's hard to talk to because they all have that macho as fuck attitude and if you're not the best at everything you're automatically a shitbag
>>702989488
I keep hearing about religious discrimination from there. Plus, they once had, or still do have, the worlds largest pipe organ.
So be christian, and not reasonable christian, like catholic, but full on born again
>>702993586
you're getting chaptered because of PT or you just done with your contract?
>>702990475
Ask niggers you retard
>>702994304
>get broken
have a jump coming up this weekend. perfect opportunity to fuck my shit up fam
>>702994153
Thanks man, I know someone who did it and made it all the way to group. I am close to maxing the afpt
>>702993923
>I leave in 5 days for the army went big signed the 18x bro
if you're under 20 the SF selection cadre will no-go you simply bc it is SOP not to pass anyone that isn't "mature enough"
they will tell you to come back in a year or 2
source
>I was was in an SF BSC and half the people in my section were young 18x wash-outs
also, take your duty mos seriously
your NCOIC will fight to keep you from being sent back if they think you're a shit bag that won't do your job
and the CO & 1SG (almost always an 18A and 18B-F) will not send you back to selection if your NCOIC doesn't
>>702993490
ah that's definitely it then. It's drilled in our brains in BCT to go to attention then parade rest before addressing any NCO's
>>702994380
Have you considering getting good? Seriously, scoring a 300 on a PT test and shooting marksman is not difficult, and if you can do those two things and show up to shit on time and dressed right, you should be golden. Or are you actually just a shitbag complaining about things being hard?
Thinking of join navy soon, should I?
>>702994871
>if your NCOIC doesn't
support it
That's not how DADT worked. They would have an investigation and you would have to PROVE that you are gay before you got kicked out.
>>702991008
I love that photo more each time I see it
>>702994687
Just fucking face plant on Sicily,
like that chick last year
>>702986818
Newsflash : life is fucking boring, it won't get any better if you get kicked out, likely a shit ton worse.
>>702994887
nah my PT is actually above average I do suck dick at shooting tho so that's one thing I'm really working on. Other than that I follow orders/customs and courtesies and try my darndest so i'm not just another shitbag soldier
>>702988084
No, being an MP has actually ZERO asset to you when you get out of the military.
Want to be a civilian cop? Cool, don't be an MP, it doesn't help. At all.
Listen up PFC. I don't know you personally or why you joined, but I do hope you take time to listen to what I'm about to say. Don't fuck things up for your future self by making a rash decision in the present. I'm not here to convince you to stay. Hell, I've put in some years and I've had times where I considered getting out. If you whole-heartedly want to get out, be smart about it and do it the smart way. Read AR 635-200 thoroughly, and get out honorably. Make sure you don't lose out on any benefits that can help you as you transition into the civilian sector. Personally I think chaptering is a cop out, but you will get no judgement from me. As I said, I've had my own moments of doubt, but in the end I embraced the suck and stuck it out. Now I've found my purpose flying UH-60s. Think it through. AATW
>>702991618
Don't know about real units with ACE and shit, but in BCT and AIT this was the get out of jail free card.
>>702995156
lmao. You hear about the dude who straight up engaged his canopy release system while in the air and fucking killed him self a few months ago?
>>702994871
Thanks, I am 24 with 2 years of college and have been physically fit for years. Was doing daily 7mi runs and the evil russian pushup program. I have switched up since. I don't plan on failing, I want to finish sfas regardless if I get selected or not I'm gonna do my fucking best
>>702986818
Tell them you read a book and now you're a pacifist and refuse in anyway to contribute to an organization that is responsible for death in any way.
>oh so you can do [this shit job]
refuse to because it contributes to the machine
Best way to get out is medical bro. That way you don't have to pay back any bonuses and can possibly get a paycheck the rest of your life. I broke my ankle getting of a dump truck now I get 900 a month for doing jack shit and I'm a fucking hero. Win win
>>702988159
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! SPOTTED THE BITCH ASS LAND LOVING LEGGGGG!!!!!
>>702994380
That's their job.
>>702991008
A. Where are their NOD mounts?
B. What do you think happened to this guy after pulling this shit in front of a 2-star General?
>>702995303
Good for you man. All the way!
I have 2 years left and since deployments are over there's no reason to join. Its basically full of pussies now and red tape everywhere.
The army is NOT what you think it is anymore
>>702991936
That other anon ain't lying. The saying in the army is "shoulda joined the air force" they have all the hottest bitches. They don't have to play tough guy. If you can score it, def go AF.
Med services are in high demand, so if you score high enough on the asvab to prove you can handle it, should be an easy time.
Suicide. Fastest Way
>>702995385
You could say I heard about it and you will too in the 300 ACE briefings forthcoming
>>702995156
>>702994687
When I was in...shit around a decade ago now, I was a psyoper, and our TPD tended to tag along with guys in like language school to jump (FUCK tailgate jumps from a CASA btw). On one of my jumps, last guy in the stick jumped, but his shoot didn't deploy...not that the static line snapped, he got a cigarette roll or any shit like that, so he's just dangling beneath the plane hanging from his static line. They circled for around a half hour before they climbed up a few extra hundred feet and cut the static line on him.
>>702995399
sounds like you have a good chance then
in OSUT (I'm assuming you're first MOS will be 11B as most 18X are sent that route) do pull-ups on your own if it isn't required by the cadre, also stay in the fastest running group
pull-ups and running are the 2 biggest reasons people don't graduate airborne school
and don't put the electric butter knife on until you get graduate the Q-course
it will just draw a microscope down on you
>>702995514
>THE BITCH ASS LAND LOVING LEGGGGG
:'( take it back
>>702996420
got dammit pics all sideways n shit
>>702992742
>kek
I self referred because I fucked up in AT. Not like a get out of jail card, seriously wanted help. Halfway through, I start phoning in the answers, tell them what they want to hear. Successfully completed ASAP, still drink too much, but I like my unit and drinking
>>702996250
>pull-ups and running are the 2 biggest reasons people don't graduate airborne school
What fucks a lot of people isn't the running so much as how you HAVE to run. If you get farther than arm's reach from the person in front of you, you've fallen out. Combine this with that slow assed pace and God help you if you have a long stride.
>>702992890
>that's how this anon made lance corporal
Mass punishment still happens
NCO's dont lead anymore, they suck dick for that next rank and fuck over junior enlisted
Units have no money so theyre turning into garbage
Good soldiers get fried
Shitbags skate on by cause nobody wants to do the paperwork
Black people in the army are 90% niggers and lazy
Females in the army are trash
Your first year will be as a wide eyed eager private fucking shit up
Your last years will be boiling hatred towards the yapping wide eyed eager young privates with gay basic training storys
PT doesn't matter at all and wont get you any special shit
BRM only slightly matters
Go to college or just get job experience. Army sucks now
>>702996420
legs can have wings on their chest
show me an airborne unit patch other than the screaming chicken or leg dragon or a jump record
>>702996788
This is true. Also make sure you still do pull ups but don't stress too much because now the test is you just have to be able to hold yourself up over the bar for 10 seconds which any self respecting person should be able to do.
>>702996974
>legs can have wings on their chest
nigga what
>>702995573
smaj's face :D
>>702996954
I'm at 22 years and I couldn't have said it better myself, I'm so fucking done
>>702988159
>he fell for the airborne meme
The only time you should be Airborne is for Spec ops.
>>702997233
>>he fell for the airborne meme
my recruiter made it sound so fun tho :((
>>702996420
No CAB or CIB?
0 Combat experience huh? Stay a garrison hero chump
>>702996974
Fuck noooo they can't
>>702986818
Stick it out for VA bennies. Go to sick call every chance you can, for every little reason. I get paid 3700 a month for my time in service... I do jack shit all day.
>>702997336
Yeah OP, go start a war real quick so you can get some pretty metal bits and another couple of bits of fabric you gotta sew on your uniform
>>702997096
leg units can still send soldiers to BAT
they are on the lowest priority
but they can still go
then they get their 5 jumps in
go back to their leg unit
never jump again
refuse assignment to airborne units
and toss their wings on their OER/NCOER
>>702996974
>legs can have wings on their chest
but m8 the wings on my chest are the only way to tell i'm airborne. my unit is like 75% legs but they all get to wear the maroon beret. and the BDE i'm in doesn't even get the airborne tab anymore which is fucking retarded because we got our jump status taken away yet here I am jumping every fucking week so i'm not sure what that even means
>>702997677
>yet here I am jumping every fucking week so i'm not sure what that even means
So long as you're getting the pay, it doesn't mean shit to you.
>>702997336
m8 anyone who joined in the past like year and a half aint seein NOOOO COMBAT for the rest of ever lmao
>I'm in the army
Ha ha ha, faggot. Eat some dick for dinner you tool.
>>702997861
:"( anon why
>>702997526
You're a pog bragging about slingload wings with 0 combat air assault missions.
>>702997844
boy oh boy that extra $150 sure as fuck aint worth it lmao
>>702997336
gwot is over bro. people are only "deploying" to korea and kuwait
>>702997336
less shit for me to have to stress about putting on my uniforms so i'm pretty ok with it B)
>>702998206
High profile units like 10mtn are still going to kandahar and some SFAT teams in iraq
literally got a CAB with the 1st cav out of texas in the past year and a half.
>>702997677
what is a jump log
and if you don't have a copy, get one
and get a copy of every jump manifest you are on, and keep them until you get an updated jump log w/ that jump on it
my unit was so desperate for JMs bc they had no one with enough jumps because our shitty clerk that kept losing jump logs and manifest
>>702986818
Fail your pt test retard..
>>702998368
i hope it wasnt for IDF
>>702998022
>You
>>702998107
I want to say it was just $100 when I was in. You'll have fun in around 10-20 years when your ankles twist because you stepped on a grain of sand on a concrete floor.
Seriously though, and for anyone else who is in:
GO TO TMC FOR ANY INJURY.
I'm not telling you to get a profile. I'm telling you to get a record. You think you're being tough, but all you're doing is making it next to impossible to get the VA to take care of that shit when it invariably flares up somewhere down the road.
Let people call you a pussy, wtf ever. You're just fucking yourself.
>>702988575
>officers make bank
true but fuck all this shitty paperwork
>>702988302
... This fucking has to be bait. If you're in you know that it's an easier gig in a lot of ways. More management, but better pay and more perks. Fuck off scrub. Drop out, so there's one less pussy I have to worry about crying when shit goes down.
>>702998531
my unit keeps sending NCO's to JMs but they all fail because they're retarded af. it's hilarious when they come back.
>>702998567
>IDF
;(
>>702998368
just pcsed here. fucking hate 1st cav already
>>702998790
that is funny
JM course is easy as fuck
only reason I failed the first time was bc my glasses were 5 years old and I kept missing shit on the JMPI
>>702987478
Got 75 on asvab waiting for marine boot camp. What mos should I pick?
>>702999139
its shit, good to see someone else agrees. can't wait to switch guard.
>>702999139
>cav
well there's your problem
>>702998567
>IDF
Israeli Defense Force...
>>702999139
1/8 2nd bde. as soon as they did that spirit of the cav song at pt i felt nauseous.
>>702999323
cav is 20X better then hur dur 11 bang bang
>>702999283
Don't worry they'll pick it for you.
>>702999323
im not a scout thankfully. cav scouts only do towerguard downrange. that was on multiple fobs. Never saw a cav leave the wire ever
>>702986818
Smart thing would be wait for a ruck march then run. Fall over and say you hurt your back. No way they can prove youre not in pain. GO on profile of years, get med baorded and disability.
Dont do the PT test way.
>>702986818
You can volunteer-sep or try to get med-board. Either way, try not to get chartered out. Or suck it up and finish your contract. Its not that hard you faggot. What's 4 years of your shitty worthless life. You did sign the dotted line you fucking soup sandwich.
>>702995573
Pretty sure that's a woman.
Hell, it's been in every thread against women being in combat roles.
>>702999283
Lol you don't get to pick boot
>>702999568
That's only if I select open contract. I haven't.
>>702999325
In-direct fire.
rocket or mortar doesnt even hit the fob away from people and S1 and fobbits start the paperwork for cabs
>>702999738
i feel a sense of jealousy
>>702999512
>be in DADT days
>go PLDC (now called WLC) w/ a shit ton of cav scouts
>go to shower
>all the cav scouts are in there in a circle
>two make room for me
>all holding their dicks together
>all look at me
>all shout "PENIS TOWER OF POWER!"
>slowly back out
cav, not even once
Applying to be a Gi Joe, any advice?
>>702999992
was a VBAD on a lead truck, definitely not IDF
>>702999923
HAHAHHAA
Oh son. The Corps will fuck you so hard that they'll agree to give you a job, fully train you in that job, put you in a unit with that job for a day, then stick your ass back in training for whatever job that they actually need you for.
>>702999917
Mos not where I do boot. I'm stuck with SD
>>702999512
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so mean
You're probably still recovering after loosing so many comrades and loved ones in the Orlando shooting
Applying to be Secret Service, any advice anons?
>>703000267
Awe so I can't be a machine gunner?
>>702999993
not really, just what i've noticed in my time.
>>703000158
Oh God, bumping this thread for the penis tower of power
>>702986818
Break a bone
>>702999283
0369 combat goat fucker you faggot. Have fun with all that man on man butt sex you closet case!
>>703000158
ARMY STRONG HOOAH
Applying to be Seal Team Six, any advice anons?
>>703000523
everyone experiences different things i guess, 19D from what I've seen always went over the wire with the 11B
if you don't care how you could always go ballistic and kill your entire team or whatever its called.
>>703000452
unless your OK w/ investigating money crimes, don't
SS recruits for body guards out of the federal LEAs, Army, and Marine Corps
>>703000187
take apart an old pallet and ram all the splintery wood up your brown tunnel. thats what the army is like.
>>703000746
That's a way to ensure he literally never gets out.
Military has it's own jails friend.
I'm a 68w I ship June 5th. Am I fucked? I signed up for a four year contract as a health care specialist (combat medic as I was told). There's really no backing out but do you think I'll be in your position?
>>703000958
Have sex with as many as the female soldiers as possible.
>>703000914
his way out would be getting murdered as he's murdering everybody win win
>>702999283
Recruiters have a quota they need to fill. You'll get whatever MOS they're gonna push on you because you don't fully understand what you're getting into, and they can easily peer pressure the fuck out of you. That being said, stay away from aviation. It fucking blows
>>702986818
I know some guys got out for depression, maybe you could fake it? Say that something about the work enviroment or something is making it worse.
Maybe the idea of killing?
Research it first, i'm not military.
>>702986818
Which Army? Because UK Military has a strict no drug ethic. It's the easy way to get out of the military. Just take steroids. Don't even need real ones, just get a dodgy protein whey or some of that exploder pre-workout bollocks, a lot of them have banned substances.
>>703000319
No, stupid. You ARE a boot
>>703001064
That's what Texas is for right? Plus I get the sixteen extra weeks. Yay.
>>703001064
I wouldn't advise that, many of them have more miles on them than the entire US interstate system.
Marinefag here to say you're all pussies for thinking it's too boring. I've personally snapped the necks of over 700 different sand niggers, and have access to the entire arsenal of the marinecorps. You're all pussies, faggots. xD
>>703001199
US. We have the same zero tolerance policy too. 99.9% chance pissing hot will get you chaptered.
>>702996954
underrated post
>>703001378
>>702986818
Hello?
>>703000958
Nah, 68W is a fine MOS. Seriously though, get ready to learn about bugs. I'm 13series so I only heard from friends, but they had like 2 weeks on entomology.
>If PV2 Snuffy comes up yelling a red bug bit me, you need to know what to do
>>703001157
Cool. I really wanna be a grunt. Any other jobs you advise?
>>703000958
You can always say no even when you get to basic. they'll have to ship you back home. Recruiters lie. You don't become an actual soldier until you finish ait. until then you are still classified as a civilian and can just refuse to train or even ship to basic.
Also healthcare specialist is NOT a combat medic lol. you will work in a TMC giving people anthrax shots or fixing tummy aches. recruiters are savage these days!
>>702986818
Find some shit in the UCMJ that only gets you an other than honorable diacharge. But even with that i heard its still a pain to get a decent job. Or do what people in the Navy do and get Psyched out.
>>702996954
500% this
>>703001542
is it me you're looking for?
Utah fag here.
Deciding between air guard EOD and army Guard combat engineers.
Tips?
Army is for fags. Which means you're all faggots. top kek
go isis
>>703001306
That comma would have helped the point across.
>>703001754
No I want ur mum cunt
>>703001583
Interesting. Thanks man had me really worried for a second there. Didn't want to sign up for the shit and not get the shit.
>>702999283
Marines don't get to choose mos dipshit. and if you only got a 75 on the asvab theyll probably put you as a cook, driver or office work. marines dont pick low mos for infantry dispite popular belief. Recruiters lie and lie and lie and make you feel special. Hes dogging your ass dude but he most certainly wont admit it if you confronted him
>>703001793
also utah fag here
do you live in northen utah or southen utah?
>>703001603
Every job sucks. Admin gets to sit around in A/C and have short days though, so that's not terrible I guess. And unless you plan on staying in 20+ years, going infantry would be a gigantic mistake
>>702996954
>Mass punishment still happens
this shit pisses me off more than any other stupid bullshit the army does
mass punishment was used when someone fucked up, but the punisher wasn't sure who did it
>punish unit
>unit punishes fuck up
but they've outlawed hazeing and been strict about it
so now
>punish unit
>unit hates fuck up and punisher
>>702986818
What don't you like? I had a good experience in the Army.
>>702986818
I got out by going AWOL for a little bit, coming back to SPD with hot piss.. Smoke some herb (it's everywhere). They'll try to send you back to your unit first time but just AWOL as soon as you hear the news... Turn yourself in week or 2 later, dirty again within SPD and GTG.. Might have to spend a few days in county but no biggie. Being military you will get a open room all your own or with other articles..
>>703002035
SL,UT
So north I guess. Base for each 30 min drive from my house.
>>702986818
Fail fitness?
>>703002191
did you get an OTH?
>>702988159
Well what other ways is there to get paid well
Without the high stress of all the shit involved
>>703002205
ive never seen another anon from Utah here before
>>703001793
1. You're picking 2 pussy branches for a combat mos
2. If you ever had the misfortune of deploying with any guard unit, you'll probably die
3. National guard units do not receive as much training as the real army. 30 days out of a year of training is not enough to prepare you for shit
4. you fail EOD school you will be put in the lowest strength mos (the jobs nobody choose because they are shit)
coming from an active duty 12B. go active duty or dont join
Just while we have all these mil fags in here, is it just me or does anyone else notice that the Marines seriously marry the fastest landwahles they can find? Are they trying to prove they will stick their dick in everything? Everyone else, the depanda gets fat after the wedding, not the corps. They brag about all the tail they pull, but they are literally the only ones who would fuck them!
>inb4 butthurt soldier who has fucked women of a healthy weight
>>703002191
Yea, but at 6 months you can send in a form and get a general.
I got a 300 on ASVAB what mos should I go for anons?
>>703001793
Utah's engineer unit is the "make shit" type not the "destroy shit" type
but Utah does have 4 SF teams, you could join them and become an 18C and blow shit up
even if you become 18 whatever your 18C will teach you to blow shit up
but all 3 units are good except for the mormon commanders skirting the law on forcing their drinking ethic on their troops
also, don't share your booze w/ mormon soldiers/airmen, they will drink it all and never share with you
>>703002375
More likely to find the 5 or 6 others in /n/ and /pol/.
>Fucking train nazis
>>703002454
dumb people join marines. fact
>>703001614
Fuck dude what mos should I have signed up for then? Cause I could always re-negotiate.
>>702992145
TOP KEK
>>703002540
the max score is 98 boy bye
>>703002623
>>Fucking train nazis
Fucking kek dude, i drive my own car so i dont use the shit trains
>>703002659
what are you trying to do in the army? all combat, some combat or no chance of combat?
1. get that stupid m9 on a lanyard
2. shoot feets with the lanyard 9
3.???
4. its ok becuase you wont have dropped ur 9 on the ground from the pain and shock of being shot
>>702998731
that pic
kek
>>703002602
Yeah, found that shit out the hard way hunting.
>6 days in bitter idaho winter
>fag drank all the whisky on day 1
>>703002695
FMJ
>>703002659
11B, but I'm partial to it. Best fucking years of my life.
>>703002833
>all combat, some combat or no chance of combat?
w/e don't care
just want to bottom for a fit std free power top
President obama here to say you're all doing a fantastic job!
>>703002732
99 retard
>>703002659
Long story short, 68W IS combat medic. If people go to the field, you will go with them to mostly treat blisters, then come back to be an EMT and brag about all the traumatic wounds you saw/treated
>>702994956
Find a good rate. I started as a Nuke, failed out and got AD. I got lucky too, a lot of people want that rate, and usually nuke wastes go undesignated. Whatever the recruiter tells you, dont go undesignated. A lot of Aviation rates are nice, RP is a chill job too, just do some research man.
Im training right now to earn a trident. If I somehow fail buds im going to go to ranger skool. Hopefully it wont come to that though.
>>703003068
Should have opted for airborne/ranger option too... Talk about fun... Once you complete the ranger indoc you'll have some 18x boys.. I gt atached to B 5th Grp at Campbell
Do any of you anons have any classified info on the US?
>>703003215
Well could be worse. Will I at least get to see some combat? I'm just mostly worried about sitting on my ass and not actually helping my unit or the soliders I signed up to help.
>>703003510
Go away N. Korea
>>703003342
>I started as a Nuke, failed out
got lucky there
nuke and sub are rates that never get transfered out
>>703003510
Fuck off isis
I did the Army. Some of the greatest times of my young life. Just before getting out I was assigned at an Air Force Base. It was then I realized I went into the wrong service. If you're thinking about the Army, check out the Air Force too. They have the best of everything.
>>702986818
Man the fuck up and finish your contract you pog
>>703003510
welp. I can tell u MP's are fucking terrible at their jobs and you could prolly get away with any crime you want on a military instillation. at least that's how it is on my post
>>703003510
Yes, I'm ed Snowden actually.
>>703003510
Yes, currently the USA is located in North America. This has been verified by two sources so far.
>>703003557
HAH welcome to the Army.. Hurry up and wait Hooah
>>703003730
MPs yea, CID, another story at Campbell.. Fuckers are ruthless
>>703003097
prime power has low points to get promoted. electronic warfare is also automatic E-5 but long ass AIT. 12B and 11B/C/X are the only strictly combat only MOS. dont listen to anyone else.
Wheel/track mechanics, Weapon repair mechanics, MPs, 88M, dog handlers EWO and a couple other sparse MOS like combat medics are the only majority ones who see actual combat in the past 2 years because most combat ops are classified under CARCO (combined arms route clearance ops) since thats all we do. basically any mos that would be an asset during a mission to repair, return fire, detain personnel or provide aid are used now. ive seen tons of vehicle mechanics and radio people like FO's and EWO guys dismounting with infantry and engineers through villages when other mos dont do shit. its wierd now.
>>703003732
You wish.
What's the most alpha military to join
Where you can kill whoever you need to for profit
Use as much steroids and enhancements as I want
I can have sex slaves in my quarters to use how I want
Get paid well enough to never worry about money
How do I get recuited
>>703002833
I'd like to see some combat or even just combat. I just want to be in the shit and help my unit. That's mostly why I went 68w.
>>703003934
forgot also CMRE units do missions but its like drivers and same sort of rag-tag group of random mos. but they just escort the haji's when we shut down fobs and shit.
>>703003934
directed at you
>>703004104
>>702986818
You signed a legal contract for 2,3,4,5,or 6 years active duty. Be a man, and finish your obligation to the best of your abilities, then get out. Shamming your way out is a punk ass bitch move, and you will probably regret it in 10 years. Suck it up, make the best of the situation, then move on with your life.
I know it sucks sometimes. I was in for 30 years. I ETS'd after the first 4, then went to college. I hated it those first 4 years. After I was out I realized that I missed my brothers in arms, and the soldiers I worked with, so I went back in. I retired before I was 50 only because the army suddenly became full of pussies.
Do your time and then get out honorably.
>>703004104
Combats mostly over now, man.. Not much but sit and shit. Miss my few tours during initial invasion...
>>703004063
>What's the most alpha military to join
Russian Spetznaz
>forty people holding 100 hostages in a theater
>spetznaz to the rescue
>all 140 terrorists are killed in the operation to liberate the hostages
>>703003607
I know man, at DTP they tried to say i volunteered for sub. I had to go to medical and get my records before they fucked me over and put me on some sub. Carriers arent the best but tolerable, i couldnt imagine a sub, especially with all them nukes. NNPTC was enough for me to realize 85% of nukes have autism
>>703002602
I'll keep that in mind. Reading thread, 18_ seems the way to go.
Only got 2 years to get my B.S. so maybe i can get commission and fuck that shit up even more.
>>703003776
Been hearin that since meps... Hooah.
Is normal to get sexually excited when shooting cunts at close range
>>703003557
That depends on your unit. If they go, you will go outside the wire. I honestly couldn't garauntee you will be deployed, but I will tell you that you have a good MOS. Many people try for that MOS, few score high enough for it.
You'll mostly likely get stuck hanging around training lanes,caring for soldiers who twist ankles/get blisters, but the actual training you'll get will set you up for a viable civilian career.
Plus, I hear medics are the only ones getting reenlistment bonuses.
>>702986818
Suck it up and do your time, you made it thru basic and AIT. You volunteered for this.
Too many people want to not deal with bullshit but that's just the way the army works.
Every time something silly happens try to figure out why is the way it is. You're not special, you're literally just a number and as a private also a liability.
PS: Trying to get out is going to make your life harder since you're going to put a target in your back.
>>702992145
/thread
bonus points if you hide a jelly doughnut and change your name legally to private pile first
>>703004063
find jason bourne and you can join blackbriar you ninnypoop
>>703004351
Lmao I don't believe anything coming out of that hemisphere.
>>702994956
Choose your rate choose your fate. If you don't see what you want, don't sign anything. I was very close to picking a rate I knew nothing about because I wasn't looking for anything specifically. I got really lucky though, snatched up someone else's contract after they were in a car accident. Look at advancement percentages. This way you can get a rough idea of how quickly you can rank up. Also, look for something you can use after you get out.
>>703004488
I sported a boner the first time. But indifferent otherwise.
>>702990491
Cause hes an autistic faggot like you. Kill yourself.
>>703004063
invent a time machine then go back to when this was actually a part of the military
Here is a fun clusterfuck for you guys.
Was in BRC, USMC. Dropped out because I thought I fucking loved this ho. Ended up getting an OTH but wrote a letter to get up to UHC. I think my lowest ASVAB category was a 114? Enlisted in 2007.
Tried finding a life, relationship lasted a couple years, nothing you can say to me will insult me more than what Ive said to myself. I was fine until my car's brakes fucked up and i needed it for work and my insurance company and warranty are weazeling out of the pay out. Options limited.
Anyway- thinking about reenlisting, 27 now, want to do some chill POG shit. Ive gained a fuck ton of weight. 5,11 230lbs.
Whats the best way to go about the military in this position?
>>703004415
had a guy w/ dolphins in my army basic class
was an E-7 in the navy
took a voluntary reduction to E-4 just to get out of a tin can
they have the longest voyages, make the fewest ports, have the shortest turn around time, and the worst living quarters
>>703002602
Are you in the UTAH AR/NG? I'm trying to join as soon as my contract ends. I'm an E-5 medic if that helps.
Anything you could tell me would be appreciated it.
>plz ripond
>>703004876
National Guard
>>703004530
Nope, unless you're an E-5 and above.
>>703004920
Just to get out of a tin can or out of the navy? Sub service is volunteer.
>>703001614
You're retarded Healthcare Specialist is Combat Medic.
>>702991008
This that person holding a pistol by the barrel?
68w here, wanted to say thanks for the insight. Gonna go contemplate this shit.
>>703005007
Guard won't take you above 196.
>5'10 manlette
>190 or less
>>703004876
stop being fat for starters, then try convincing a recruiter to waiver you dropping out of boot
low defense budget = army picks and chooses recruits based off clean records
>>703004733
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moscow_theater_hostage_crisis
I was wrong
40-50 armed Chechens
130+ hostages
170 dead terrorists
>>703004920
Nah, he was probably an E-4 and it's lying his ass off.
Stop being a pussy and just do your job and when your reenlistment window comes up just don't. The army is so easy. right place right time right uniform and make yourself efficient.
You probably have a FB profile picture of you with some gay smile wearing a FLC with your straps all fucked up sitting inside an LMTV. You swore an oath so just do your service and get out.
And I guarantee the first thing you tell girls on whatever little dating app you have is that you're in the army.
Soldiers like you just makes me laugh. Man up.
>>703004351
Off topic fuckstain, also who cares you are talking out of your ass...again.
>>702986818
film exicuting some raghead with a knife while yelling wheres your ALLAH AKBARS NOW, YOU FILTHY MUDSLIME! and send it to everyone
>>703004063
ISIS
fits all your requests
>>703004920
Yeah i know they suck, but the longest? Ive heard of carriers being on 9 month deployments, i think subs go 3 on 3 off. I could be wrong though, but going from Chief to whatever an E4 is in the army thats pretty humbling considering you were running everything to becoming an errand boy lol
>>703005201
yes and feeding a magazine into her FLIC instead of a magazine pouch while aiming it at herself.
thats why its funny. But shes also wearing a medic patch and 99% of medics are like nerds in highschool. may be smart but no common sense
>>703005279
>>703005279
Holy fuck 700 injured. lmao
>>703005169
Yeah but once you volunteer, its volunteer for life, you cant go back
>>703005746
I'm not military or /k/ and it brings up nothing on google. FLIC?
>>702995264
How does it not help? If you have an investigative/protective role, that would obviously help with being a police officer.
>>702986818
Look man, once you quit you will always quit. That is a hard chain of failure to break bro. Head down and ruck up.
>>703005547
I like the way you talk
>>703005924
Google FLC army vest.
Why do so many people sign up for shit and then come running to 4chan asking what they're in for, or asking how to get out?
Do you people not THINK about what you're doing before you do it?
