Hi /b/. What's the most painless way I can kill this crab? Because being boiled alive sounds like a pretty fucked up way to die. Trips has the ultimate decision.
Boil it alive
>>701424758
Twelve gauge shotgun should make it quick and painless.
>>701424758
get some jumper cables and hook him to your car battery
boiling it
>>701424758
hammer to the skull
![0d6[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/R07q0Sd.png "0d6[1].png")
>>701425001
Release into ocean
>>701425205
Fuck off
Blend it op rolling!
>>701424882
That's how most people do it, let's make it fun tho
>>701425001
I don't have a shotgun, wish I did.
>>701425051
Sounds like too much work, wouldn't this do the trick as well?
>>701425130
Roll
>>701425309
Rolling for this
boil it
>>701425492
Nigger are you going to fucking tase a crab?
kiss it gently, tell him you love him, go to the store and buy a dead crab. keep current crab as a pet and name him.
>>701425309
Roll
>>701425492
Crabs usually have the ability to foul their own meat if they think death is imminent. I wouldn't fuck around too much with this, OP. Quit being an attention whore and put it in the pot.
>>701425499
>>701425492
crab is already dead though
>>701425492
Here's a better picture.
>>701425309
Anon... I'm kind of hungry right now. I still want to eat him. I don't think bits of shells would taste very good
Crabs don't feel pain you dumb fucks
>>701425130
Thank u. My first thought.
>>701425776
Talk it into killing itself.
lethal injection of butter
Boiling will kill it in an instance - the boiling water reacts with the protein in literally 1 second.
>>701425847
You have to destroy the brain, boiling it means that it is in pain for a little bit but still remains all intact and easily edible
>>701425885
false, two nerve centers in front & rear, meaning they do feel pain
>>701425885
Everything evolved pain
>>701425775
This.
They don't have a very advanced nervous system. They'll rip their own fucking legs off if it's causing them trouble.
They die instantly in boiling water like tropical fish die instantly in ice water.
>>701425840
It's very much alive
OP that crab is already dead.. Stop being such a faggot and cook it
Toss it to a wall
Slap it with your dick until it stops moving
shit on it
taze it.
>>701425885
This. Just eat it and hope you don't get reincarnated into a crab.
>>701426165
drown it
Cut off claw and kill it with it's own arm.
Boom
>>701426382
Kek
Play titanic music while slowly putting it in boiling water. 10/10 would die for that.
>>701426382
retard alert
Hit him with a 5 iron
>>701426105
The water is boiling
>>701426382
>drown it
you fucking retard
>>701424758
You are an idiot. It is not month 9, it is month 8.
>>701426429
Well no way is overall painless, hence why you can sometimes hear lobsters and crabs scream when they get put in the pot.
Put it into the freezer
>>701426165
Release it into the ocean. You're already too involved with this particular live crab.
Rolling for microwave
>>701426382
knife through the center, cut slowly forward through the face and post a webm
shit on it til death
>>701426589
Steam escaping.
>>701426121
The bigger question is "who the fuck cares?" it is evolved the same as a fucking house fly or a spider.
Yet you faggots wouldn't think twice about swatting a fly or a spider.
>Boil water
>Drop crabby in
>Eat
>Profit
>>701426382
roll 4 drown it
Throw fish at it until it dies
>>701426382
rawl
>>701426589
they can't scream as they don't have vocal chords.
What you are hearing is probably steam escaping their body as their insides are heated so quickly.
>>701426382
>>701426382
>>701424758
Stick your tiny cock in it, then marry it. when it realises the type of fucking cunt you are, it will kill itself.
>>701426382
OP, drown the crab.
Rip off its claw and kill it with its own claw
>>701426589
That isn't screaming dumbass. Do you think crabs have vocal chords like us? Do you see Sebastian singing in the little mermaid and treat it like a fuckin documentary? What the fuck dumbass
>>701426418
Roll
Give it a facial first?
>>701426701
>Yet you faggots wouldn't think twice about swatting a fly or a spider.
I do
>>701426453
Says the retard
>>701425130
rolling for this
>>701426660
Satan... you could have been the one...
>>701424758
release it to the wild. this will kill the crap very slowly but painless if it is lucky.
>>701426932
Faggot.
JUST FUCKING BOIL IT
>>701426660
>>701426770
Probably, either way I don't eat crab so I wouldn't know
>>701426903
>dumbass twice
Calm down anon, don't get you knickers in that much of a knot.
>>701426701
If a crab was moving towards my face being annoying I'd absolutely kill it
>>701425130
rip in peperroni, dear crustacean friend
Jizz on that crab!
>>701426382
DROWN IT
>check'm
>>701425130
rerolling for this
>>701427014
>empathy is a direction connection to sexuality
>>701427011
I didn't even realise.... also nice dubs.
>>701425492
taze it taze it
>>701425885
They very well feel pain.
Fishes don't though.
>>701427111
Winrar
>>701427120
Direction yeah?
>>701427111
trps
do it OP
>>701427111
Drown the crab OP
>>701427111
welp it's getting drowned now
>>701427053
You literally thought they were screaming. Have another dumbass since it triggers you so much.
>>701424758
no fish or any non-mammals that live in the water actually feel pain so...
>>701427111
oh shit....
OP needs to drown it....
>>701427217
direct of course, it's late and not English in Europe
>>701427245
>this cranky
Hope you have a nice day anon
Isn't drowning it just washing upside down until it dies?
lethal injection
>>701424758
You release the crab back home and become vegeterian for the rest of your life.
>>701427111
My nigga
>>701426532
Op you fucking faggot you don't boil crabs you steam then son smh come to md and eat crabs how they're supposed to be cooked
Kick it to death
>>701427312
Same here no excuse.
>>701427111
drown the crab
drown the crab
drown the crab
drown the crab
Run over the crab with your tricycle op
>>701427363
I'll have a nicer day then some dumbass who gets triggered by being called one.
Next time try to not be so ignorant.
>>701427111
In boiling water? Explain please
>>701427280
>no fish or any non-mammals that live in the water actually feel pain so...
i bet you are a christian/muslim/ kike or some other dirty desert cult
>>701424758
Dude your supposed to chop the face off and remove the lungs before you cook them.
>>701427111
>>701427538
pic related, you gotta put him under water and cut these things off, then the crab will drown
>>701427538
Nah in normal water, wouldn't want to burn your hands would you op?
>>701427532
Glad you're going to have a nice day
>>701427538
Right, because there are so many cases of people drowning in boiling water.
Pull each leg off forcibly
>>701427111
Trips has spoken. Ya gotta drop it in the pot, nigger.
Or be a liar forever.
But OP never delivers so... Not a big surprise, there.
>>701427532
Cuck. Sorry you're based af dude
give it a heroin overdose
>>701426054
roll
Cum on his stupid ugly face
>>701427111
I have no words /b/....
>>701427672
Thanks cuck. Glad you could accept my superiority.
Reply if you're a cuck
>>701427893
>>701427599
DUBS HAVE SPOKEN
DROWN/ASPHYXIATE THE CRAB
>>701427538
>>701427599
like this based fucker says. You now have the knowledge to drown a crab. fuck I love this place
Now what? How long does it take for it to drown in fresh water?
>>701427995
Confirmed cuck. I knew you were a true dumbass.
Now reply because I told you to
Crabs like bugs don't feel pain as we do, their nervous system is too simple. They just know if a situation is dangerous or not, or roughly if they are being touched. But very probably they don't suffer from being boiled alive. Also they don't have the "feeling" part of the brain so they are not sad or angry if they are dying. They only know heat is bad. So feel free to boil him cause he won't really suffer.
>>701428065
fuck thought it was dubs, not trips. I'm retarded.
rolling for this though
>>701428155
I love you too dumbass
>>701427599
rolling
>>701424758
>Fap and cum on crab. Post pictures!
>>701428183
i see you trying so hard to accomplish somn, you failed, go kill yourself
>>701428244
I knew you were my bitch.
Now reply so your mom will die in her sleep tonight
This is by far the most fucked up thing I've ever done... I said painless guys... it's squirming so much... I can almost hear it screaming
>>701428150
>>701427599
rolling
kill it with kindness
>>701427538
time to put that auto knife to use,
>>701427599
de-gill the crab
drown the crab
>make history
>The first man to literally drown a fucking crab for dinner
>>701424758
>Fap! Cum on crab! Pics! Post 'em!
>>701426453
Nigga, you the retard
>>701424758
Crabs don't feel pain
>>701428430
Dude the water isn't even boiling
What is wrong with you?
>>701428150
>>701427599
rerolling
>>701428430
That's cold water right?
>>701428405
>believe this means anything
oh anon...
>>701427466
R E D
D W A R F
>my nigga
>>701424882
>Post pics of crab after facial!
>>701428430
OP is not a faggot
>>701428536
He's drowning the crab you dumb fuck
>>701428430
Give him a brief breath, taze him then proceed with the drowning if he doesn't die
>>701428536
He's trying to drown it
>>701428430
Crabs don't scream, is the sound of hot ait that comes out of his shell
Take it out now before it dies. And ask again "where are the Jews hiding"
>>701428536
that's the point .
>drowning the crab
>>701428430
dont feel bed a little fresh water never hurt anyone
Step on it.
Check em
Pull out his legs one by one and film it
>>701427538
Sciencefag here. Crabs also need oxygen to survive, the get it out of the water. The process "drowning" means nothing more than not getting oxygen and die of lack. To drown the crab, you have to bubble a lot of Nitrogen through water and prevent from oxygen getting into the water again. This way, you can drown the crab and even fish. Lot of work. Better get the water boiling again.
>>701427111
Aw, you nigger bitch cuckfag!
I wanted to see if OP was faggot enough to actually cum on the crab and post pics!
>YOU SUCK!
>Congrats on winning anyway, faggot.
>>701428586
we buddies now
burn it at the stake
>>701428577
Thank you my slave
Now reply or your mom will die in her sleep tonight
>>701428786
Rolling for this
>>701424758
Pro tip : put it in normal watter, low heat, increase little by little. It will chill until it dies boiling without noticing shit.
>>701428702
I know that moron.
Video take video!
I'll pay someone $20USD if they can find an old song someone had on an old MySpace account.
Any takers?
>>701428699
dubs require it. also roll
stomp on it or boil it
>>701428150
>>701427599 (You)
rollingo
>>701428430
If you have cut those respiratory thingies, wouldn't the water be useless?
>>701426054
Holy shit this
>>701428831
Now you're just repeating yourself and boring me, was fun though even if you were an ego-maniacal dumbass, gotta get your kick somewhere.
Oh uhh reply to this if you're a faggot
Blow a big thick load on that crustacean
>>701428667
no OP is still a faggot
he is just a cool faggot
>>701428946
I'll bite. Give the details.
>>701428999
WINRAR
>>701428786
Reroll
>>701428718
This
>>701428909
>>701427532
Just like you do with hobos you put vodka in the cool water then put the crab in it. After a few min he is getting wasted you turn on the fire.
This works great on lobsters too. keeps the meat sweet because they do not panic.
>>701429059
Actually I reversed it. You still replied so you admit you do believe in the superstition. You idiot.
>>701424758
Don't eat crab if you're going to be such a pussy.
>>701428498
>>701428607
>>701428813
be newer
>>701425205
rolling for empathy on 4chan.
Inject iron into its bloodstream
Crabs have copper as its oxygen carrier, so adding a bit of iron will make him breath but fuck with its internal organs
MAKE A PAPER HAT
>>701429185
>>701428430
update on the whole drowning thing op?
I hate you phaggots
>>701425205
considering this guy has literally thousands of enemies there that want to kill him, that's a good idea.
Leave it to /b to fuck up the simplest of tasks.
1) place crap in freezer for 39 min; will dull senses.
2) fill that pot with water and bring it up to a high, rolling boil.
3) boil said crab for 7min for every pound.
4) stop being a faggot
Op make a fucking video
>>701427014
No u
Least painful way is to jam the edge of a blade down behind between their eyes, and cut a half inch towards their ass
Boiling kills them almost immediately though so I don't see why it matters
>>701429415
This
Have sex with it
If you wanted to make it painless, wrap it in newspaper and put it in the freezer. It will fall asleep. Leave it in their for an hour then take it out and kill it.
>>701427363
>this cranky
>cranky
>not crabby
Missed opportunity anon
>>701426382
>>701426382
>Replies implying you cant drown anything that can filter air out of water
Let the poor animal live. Don't kill it. Release it on some beach. Please.
someone make this into an image, this need to be passed onto the lil /b/lings
>>701429568
Faggot kill yourself
>>701428999
rerolling for release it
>>701429289
You know OP cut off its gills. fucker is drowning in a pot and your solution is to put it in the ocean.
>>701429320
You tried. You just met someone better.
Reply if I'm right
>>701429509
Plox
>>701429525
He's not worth it
still lol'd though
>>701426165
fill a bowl with cold water, place it inside, then tase it. This will tase-cook him. Also film it please.
>>701427111
how he did that!
OP, any update?
8/27/16 the day Anon tried to drown a crab
>>701428999
I guess the universe can be cruel in many different shapes and forms. But I'm a man of my word and trips is the word. So let it be done. It's squirming...
Eat raw. Freshest way. Most nutrients. If not, drown in beer for better flavor.
>>701429662
Calm the fuck down you edgy autist.
>>701429662
Enjoy your summer.
>>701429780
DON'T
SAVE IT
PLEASE
I LOVE CRABDS
DON'T KILL IT
DOTN'
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>701429568
What kind of fucked up idea is that? Do you also put your carrots back into mud somewhere in the wilderness?
Crab = food. Carrot = food.
>>701429780
You'll probably fuck it up and only cut off half its head
>>701429780
Absolute madman
>>701429972
Plenty of fish in the sea anon
>>701429775
roll for update
>>701426589
former seafood restaurant boiler here
"open" it with a knife as if its already boiled and ready to eat. then enjoy its agony you sadistic asshole
>>701429977
Are you really comparing ANIMALS TO VEGETABLES??
>>701429780
its claws look like 2 laughing dinosaurs
>>701429780
This fucker will actualy drown the crab.
Posting in ebin thread. I love you /b/.
>>701430061
What are you on about?
>>701427111
lol winrar. Go to bed hungry faggot OP
>>701429780
>>701429984
Dude the fucking gills are under the bottom shell inside by the end of the leg. You can't take them off without ripping off legs. So rolling to rip off each leg one by one.
>>701429780
Cut that shit in a half
>>701426165
>That hand
Congrats /b/, you just helped a 15 year old fat kid kill a crab.
>>701429780
>>701429780
cut off its face with scissors and post webm
>>701430037
I know but that crab looks so desperate to live!
>>701430061
You chuck live animals into boiling water. Justify it any you want but you're just as "sadistic".
>>701430058
right in the feels
>>701429617
>The day OP drowned a crab
>>701429780
toasting in epic bread
>The day OP drowned sea-life
>>701430182
rawl I want to see its eyes twitch
>>701429780
A man that tortures helpless animals deserves to be called a fedora edgelord. Why are you such a pathetic fat piece of shit, anon? You still mad about being bullied in school? Will releasing your nerd anger on this crab cleanse the years of Chad abuse and Stacy disdain?
>>701429689
Lmao the faggot ran away with his tail between his legs.next time try not to be so ignorant. Crabs don't scream.
Op should of done this
Let it free and eat some bread with cheese oO
>>701430134
I like you
nut on it
Bro you are literally torturing this crab. At least with the boiled water it wouldnt know shit was up until the end.
>>701430414
nigger
>>701430112
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm6zfHzvqX4
It's basically the same fucking thing.
And it's food for us. Everyone - Shut your fucking hole.
We have epic thread with OP that is not a faggot.
Enjoy it or leave. Please. For fuck sake. Just that one time.
>>701430112
It's food. Stop bitching. I am a human being, the superior ruler of the fauna and flora. With one single bill, I can kill a whole cow. Or a carrot.
>>701430158
Well then we have to get the hairdryer out and asphyxiate that bitch
>boiling is too cruel
>proceeds to cut off its gills and kill it by means of salt deficiency/drowning
I'm no petafag but it seems a bit contrary towards what you were originally trying to achieve
>>701429780
you realise the scissor thing is for softshell crabs and you have a hard shell crab? you wont kill it just hurt it badly
knife to the top of the head
job done
>>701430182
Cut him on this friendless loser's edge.
>>701430182
rolling for video
>>701427442
in louisiana we boil crabs in seasoning and they come out bretty gud :DD
>>701430414
I'm Ass man and I am rolling for the empathy solution. Pic related.
>>701430186
In what way does it look desperate to live
Leave crab aloneeeeEEEEE
>>701430439
Pls
Return crab home.
>>701430521
If op just hurried up and killed it instead of getting cold feet every time that'd wrap this up nicely
hey i have an idea . Why not completely saturate water with salt and drown the crab with that ?
>>701427442
>md
McDonalds?
>>701430697
roll
>>701430414
rolling
>>701430484
-.- hopefully you will be in the same situation soon like the crab.. and 4chan is enjoying that.
So far op was pretty cool
>>701427599
Bro do you know crabs? I work seafood for a living, to get to the gills enough to take them out you have to separate the carapace from the body and that'll kill them outright.
>>701430697
This
OP seems like an absolute madman! Please tell me someone is screencapping this.
>>701430654
But he's so tasty.
https://youtu.be/j4s5oqD8Yuo
>>701430697
rolling
Okay OP. Is it tasty?
Any update?
>>701430789
Yeah I sad the same. I think the guy that said put a hair dryer to it or rip off each leg is a better idea.
Drunk crabs walk forwards
Cut that shit and burn it
>>701430369
Cant wait for labor day, then all schools are back in session and faggots like this nerd can stop fagging up the place.... Literally made himself look like a righteous cunt to prove crabs cant scream.
Mfw i have no face.
>>701430585
He's trying to cut off the gills of the thing. Read the thread m8y.
>>701429780
THATS JUST HAIR YOU FUCKING RETARD
Someone better be screenshotting this thread. this is 4chan gold.
>toasting epic bread
20 posts left until bump limit
OP should make a new thread soon
>>701430718
Gnahahah! Next idea coming up is "waterboarding"
