You are stuck on an abandoned island and can have 1 thing with you, what would you bring?
A loaded gun. Easy,
>>700526694
a boat.
A functioning city so it is no longer abandoned
a boat
a fully fuelled and crewed Apache helicopter
Dildo
A fleshlight
You, just as a fuck you for putting me in this situation
>>700527324
>>700526694
your mom
A whore
>>700526694
Ainsley Harriot's Feel-Good cook book
>>700526694
my ipad
a bowl
>>700526694
A boat
One last drink, so that I can be happy right before I tie a vine noose.
>>700526694
Les Stroud
kidnapped neighbor girl becky who my waifu
now yum yum gobble gobble deep deep wrumm wrumm
>>700526694
Another island
One Finland, positioned so that my bed is placed directly underneath myself.
Alex Grey
meth
>>700526694
Her. That way she won't leave again.
Rum
>>700529342
i feel ya
>>700529342
so ... this is a feels thread now?
>>700529500
>>700526694
satellite phone... on a boat.
>>700526694
Fleshlight
a mcdonalds so i never starve
a seaplane
my sister
>>700529642
why not a chinese buffet?
>>700529790
what do you think i am, a chink?
A hot chick that dislikes rape enough to scream an turn me on, but not enough to kill me in my sleep. Like a really moral cutey that absolutely refuses to take another person's life for whatever bullshit reason.
>>700529642
>>700529790
>>700530099
This raises the question:
Why no one sued one of those for becoming obese?
Any lawyerfag around here?
>>700530268
why not cut your balls when you sleep?
>>700530268
You can always tie her before you fall asleep
>>700530350
i am not a lawyer but that case would definitely not hold up in court. it wasn't mcdonalds fault that you ate there for every meal.
>>700530350
Because she knows I'll fucking kill her if she did something like that. Can't kill me, doesn't want to die herself.
>>700527126
check its range and your pilot training
>>700528906
>>700530715
With what, some rope I made out of vines. She could chew through that. Not gonna risk it.
>>700530824
they are knowingly selling a toxic product, and they make their food as addictive as possable
there may also be something in them making meat expensive to force people into buying their burgers
>>700530350
because fat fucks are fat fucks because they chose to be, not any restaurants fault.
There have already been studies showing you can eat anywhere and still maintain a healthy weight. That Spurlock faggot was massively criticized after Super Size Me, he lied about how many calories he was ingesting, the meals he claimed to be eating had the wrong calorific values, he would of been having to be eating super size meals every time + extras, when he claimed he only ate supersize a few times a week, he has refused to make his calorie diet public. Whats more loads of university studies proved his findings wrong and one university professor even repeated what Morgan did but keeping to 2200 calories a day and gained no weight.
>>700530268
people break, and then do crazy shit
women do crazy shit all the time
>>700526694
a fully charged satellite phone filled with the numbers of every coast guard organisations in the world, duh
>>700528906
siis vittu täh?
>>700531787
help I'm stuck
>where are you
on an island
>....................
>>700526694
Mr. Lealos
>>700531488
Tie hands behind her back and to a tree shes not gonna chew through that
a fully stocked boat with every thing needed to return to the mainland
a magic lamp with 3 wishes
>>700526694
10000000000000000000 grams of weed
>>700526694
a 10 year old girl ;) fun stuff ;)
A Brietling Emergency
>>700529342
Sorry
>>700531625
>they are knowingly selling a toxic product
and people knowingly buy and consume the product, they never claimed it was healthy.
>and they make their food as addictive as possable
it is only addictive if you are an obese fucktard who is addicted to food in general. for the normal people who can control their calorie intake it isn't a problem.
>there may also be something in them making meat expensive to force people into buying their burgers
kek
>>700532053
You know there are bigger units than a gram
Enough canned food to last a lifetime
>>700531919
>implying you cant triangulate the position using the signal of the satphone
>>700532053
why not say 10000000000000000 kilograms or 10000000000000 metric tons
>>700531919
hahaha jokes on you. they can triangulate the signal and estimate the position of the handset within a couple kms. some new units even have GPS on them - so - nice try
what about the book "how to build a raft"
>>700531997
its ONE THING you retard. Not a whole lot of things. Why not just order a boat with all the supplies to survive on the island for the rest of your life comfortably including a dozen hot horny girls and never leave?
ass
>>700532464
why not just bring a fucking raft.
>>700532337
most sat phones don't have that ability
Survival Handbook
300mg of potassium cyanide
>>700532272
and no can opener
>>700532272
good luck opening the cans and cooking that shit, genius.
>>700526694
sex deer
>>700532586
the sat phone doesn't need that ability. the iridium satellites have the ability. shit head
>>700532542
because
>A U T I S M
>U
>T
>I
>S
>M
also
>>700527015
thread
>>700532772
just to be clear - a boat doesn't solve anything. a sail boat = better. Not knowing where you are located and therefore in what direction a mainland is = deadly. If the boat has no rations, you won't last more than a few days at sea.
So, fuck your boat.
I bring a horrible virus that will wipe out all of mankind in a tiny bottle. then I put it on a pedestal and worship it.
>>700526694
My cell phone with gps enabled.
A Laptop with all Bear Grylls Episodes
Cheezburger
>>700532762
there aren't enough satellites to do a location fix
>>700526694
a helicopter
adios bitches
it's an abandoned island thus it has to relatively close or far because it'd be a hassle to get there
I'd bring a float plane with a glass cockpit and full fuel tanks, the glass cockpit would ensure it'd have a good GPS and other computers so I can find the nearest place to go with people
if I can't fly anywhere close to a civilization I'd set off the ELT and wait
>and yes I know how to fly planes
>>700532953
so, you will know where you are, but no way to tell anyone about it? good job!
>>700532953
no signal
no wi-fi
no charger
>fag that brought the dildo would be better off
>>700533151
until the rotors get caught in the fucking trees or kick up sand into the engines and on top of that heli's can't go as far as planes nor as fast
>>700532999
Better drink your own pee
>>700533151
so you know how to fly it??
and you know it has enough range??
and you know where your island is and which way to head??
>>700533141
do you know anything about iridium satellites? they can doppler your ass and find your location too. please - don't post until you are at least out of high school
![003[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/okNB9bF.jpg "003[1].jpg")
Magnesium stick or fire steel. you faggots would all die of hypothermia within two days
>>700532053
no skins or lighter bro
>>700527324
Underrated
>>700532659
don't need one to open a can autismo
>>700532915
>and therefore in what direction a mainland is
no matter what direction you went to you would find a mainland.
>If the boat has no rations, you won't last more than a few days at sea.
You could fish for food and use an evaporation distillation for water. the only other thing you would need is some kind of cover to keep out of the sun but you could easily make one
>>700526694
Fully fuelled helicopter
>>700526694
A backpack that is full of everything I need.
>>700533368
>not making your own fires
A machete would be good all round. Can be used to cut and chop things, and as a weapon.
>>700533368
What if it's a really hot island then?
>>700533363
exactly all these idiots saying a helicopter don't realize a sea plane has more range and speed and plus it floats, a helicopter would sink, and you can't fly a helicopter anywhere gotta make sure there's rotor clearance
>>700533469
bad idea
>>700533368
Fuck you whore, my activated almonds would keep my fat levels at optimum levels to ward off the cold and keep me in good health for at least 5 days.
>>700533469
>>700533579
>not understanding what one thing is
A quadriplegic girl with big tits and labia and a very sensitive asshole.
>>700533368
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9n9rqb-lvY&list=PLGnWLXjIDnpBR4xqf3FO-xFFwE-ucq4Fj&index=15
now you can bring something useful
>>700526694
a satelite phone
Probably some fuck boi.
>>700533283
then i'll take a giant boat. fuck that island
One fertile attractive woman, around 18
This
>>700533641
So you choose activated almonds. I guess you win
>>700534014
Why the fuck would you do that?
>>700533791
a plane can go further and fast than a fucking boat plus you have altitude to see ahead on possible places to go
>>700534014
this. an ogre that can help do some heavy lifting would come in handy.
A whole box of vegetable seed packets.
You dumbasses can thank me when we're not starving to death
>>700534091
Depends on the type of plane and boat.
Does Ray Mears count as a thing?
Antique farm equipment. So they could gather all the bananas and water while I sit back and enjoy my vacation.
>>700534091
i don't think it can go further than a boat, especially a plane that floats the water. i don't think i would be able to take off from island so easily
A cute survival expert who is in live with me and is a 26 yr old cutie
>>700533676
wiping her ass would get old quick
>>700533641
>2016
>not choosing Activated almond milk
>>700534392
Good point. I'll leave her one arm.
A rescue ship.
a bottle of activated almond milk
>>700534266
no chains, whips or guns
prepare your anus
>>700534266
Because that worked so well last time.
Even with a government to enforce it.
>>700526694
I would take ooonnnn meeeeeeee
>>700530268
>>700534604
>"hey, there is the rescue ship"
>"where is the crew? "
>........
>>700526694
Some salt. So that my dishes taste good,
>>700526694
>>700534646
TAAAKKE MEEE OOONN
>>700534385
That's quite brilliant.
>>700534954
IIII'LL GIIIIVEE GOOOON
>>700534803
Who the fucking cares. It'll be my shelter.
>>700535022
BIIIG BAAAAABOOOOOONNNNNNN
>>700535031
Then why did you not take a survival boat? Autism you strong suit?
A cast net.
>>700526694
Your mom.
i would bring HER.
and together we could do anything
ray william johnson so i can be serenaded with 'stalkin your mom' every night before bed
>>700535329
You think a rescue ship doesn't have survival gear you cunt?
>>700535599
it says one thing. one thing would be just the ship. no gas, no gear. only a boat.
Solar powered GPS enabled distress beacon or whatever they call those things.
Hopefully i can find water in the meantime.
Worst scenario i get picked up by pirates and that's still better than dying of exposure on a raft I can't navigate.
>>700535599
Make up your mind faggot. You want to get rescued or die alone on an island.
>>700534385
She will how have a baby face as you mentioned cute twice.
>>700534914
your on an island surrounded by salt water
put salt water in a dish and leave in the sun
top it up when it runs low a few times and you will soon have that much salt
>>700534220
where are you getting the fresg water for those seeds genius?
>>700536156
see
>>700533464
setting up a distiller isn't exactly rocket science
>>700534971
yep, she will either be smart enough to realize that she shouldn't get pregnant while stuck on the island and therefor not have sexes
or she will get pregnant and then your fucked
>>700533601
You think you're going to need a weapon on an island that small?
>>700535344
you could make fish traps
>>700536295
or she be into anal and oral.
>>700536295
I'll have a vasectomy. Big deal
>>700526694
Immanuel Kant's Critique of Judgment
>>700536288
without any tools of any kind? interesting.
>>700536288
I would like to see you do it with a few coconuts etc.
>>700536572
if there is a will there is a way.
>inb4 where do you get the sheet and tube
improvise faggot
>>700536520
so she is going to give you a vasectomy on the island with a sharp rock, no sterilization, no anesthetic and no antibiotics??
>>700536611
if there are coconut trees you could just drink coconut water...
because I dun wanna die
>>700536796
you don't need the tube, but I would love to hear how you are going to "improvise" the sheet??
>>700536906
they won't last long
especially if your watering crops with them
also how good are you at climbing coconut trees??
>>700536796
lets be clear. you want to start distilling sea water, sewing seeds into dirt of uncertain quality, which given its an island is probably of high salinity and not good fro any kind of crop, harvest it and all that, build a shelter, and so on - without any tools except sticks and vines? Maybe a few sharp rocks?
Sorry pal, an iridium phone with GPS is the only proper answer for someone trying to get off the island. if you want to stay on the island and survive, your probably want a machete or something you can use as a multi-tool or to make tools with.
>>700526694
A teleporter back home.
A laptop so I can browse 4chan while I die
White privilege
>>700537151
You can just shake the tree and run like hell
>>700536968
well. if we are still talking about >>700534220
then chances are you could separate some of the plastic from the seed packets and get a small sheet of clear plastic.
>>700527126
>Nothing's as powerful as an Apache Helicopter
I'd bring Emma Watson. Surviving isnt the hardest when you have the nicest piece of female flesh on the planet to impress. I might also just rape her to death and then hang myself on a vine.
>>700537313
I'd choose to take you to the island. I'd like the chance to beat you to death you boring cunt.
>>700537541
If an asteroid was found to be heading for earth and we knew for certain that we only had a week to live, how many times do you think Emma Watson would be raped? I think she'd spend the week being used.
>>700537477
the range on an apache is 1,024 nmi (1,180 mi, 1,900 km), so you might not make it to land. just saying
>>700537636
I'd welcome the opportunity to rape you and therefore take your virginity. I'd make sure to narrate the whole thing in stone before I die so that a thousand generations will know that you were a virgin until I raped you and killed you on that island.
>>700538090
Well, either way one of us is going to have fun!
>>700537313
>you want to start distilling sea water
either this or collect rain water.
> sewing seeds into dirt of uncertain quality, which given its an island is probably of high salinity and not good fro any kind of crop
if a tree can grow there then so can crops
>harvest it and all that, build a shelter, and so on - without any tools except sticks and vines? Maybe a few sharp rocks?
sticks, vines and rocks are enough to make tools
and you can make a shelter out of mud/dirt
>>700537313
>>700538242
if its not raining enough to grow plants youre going to die've thirst anyway
My dick
>>700538242
>if a tree can grow there then so can crops
you're new at this, aren't you?
>>700526694
A teleportation device
ever heard of sea turtles OP ?
>>700526694
Infinite amount of Havana Club rhum
>>700538375
http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/special/seaside/growing-seaside-vegetables.htm
>>700538375
stop cherrypicking. if one way of collecting water doesn't work there are plenty of other methods to try.
>>700539017
meant for >>700538455
>>700526694
Micheal Phelps
>>700539017
>>700539180
>http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/special/seaside/growing-seaside-vegetables.htm
nice link. Did you actually read the guide? Because no chance in hell you are making all that happen without a fucking multi-tool like a shovel.
>>700526694
watermelon seeds
>>700539264
the only reason i posted the link was to show that there are salt tolerant plants. therefore you could grow on the island.
>>700526694
Without knowing what the fuck is on the island in question, I'll assume it's the island in the picture.
>one thing
>lamp containing genie
Then I make three wishes and live with them.
>I wish to know the answer to any question I ask out loud
>I wish to always be physically and mentally capable of doing whatever I want to do as long as I confirm that I want to do that thing in my mind
>I wish that upon my death I will be brought back in time to the moment before I rubbed your lamp with all of my memories intact.
A marginally more serious answer would be...why bother answering a ridiculous question with anything but a ridiculous answer?
>>700539490
they are tolerant to a point, and given the proper conditions and preparation of soil and cover - you don't have any of that. Get with the hypothetical here.
1 thing + deserted island = what do?
>>700539299
smart nigger
>>700539147
i doubt there will be cherry trees
and anyway also plus besides which none of this is relevant until we know climate and soil conditions on the hitertoforsaidaboveprementioned island. is it a tiny coral outcrop w/ a few cocanut trees and thin sand or is it a relatively large and old volcanic peak or caldera with hugely rich soil, a mild tropical climate and a population of feral pigges from when it use to be a pirate hideout. I choose to opt for the latter and will grow super nice foods and hunt pigge occasionally
>>700539974
I am assuming it would be like OPs picture. that looks way too green to not be able to grow anything
>>700526694
Raft building for dummies.
A mirror. So I'll always have a friend to talk to and won't go crazy from the loneliness.
I'd bring this.
>>700540426
>not choosing a volleyball.
A mare that is completely and totally comfortable around me for me to fug
>>700540438
very ghey
>>700540231
yeah it green but I think it would be very hard to survive on OPs island, its too small. youd have to probably rely mostly on fishing there.
Legend Class cutter as one would be at a coast guard station.
Range of 22,000km
>>700526694
No Man'so Sky for PS4
>>700527386
>>700527588
Hivemind
>>700526694
My crush
>>700537427
you can't shake coconut trees
you either climb or wait till they fall
>>700539674
Problem is, OP didnt say what is on the island. It can be a spot of sand or a big tropical island who knows.
a 12" dildo
>>700537427
seed packet is what 1" by 2"
you need a sheet of a few yards by a few yards
>>700541375
see OPs picture. that is what we are going with
>>700526694
A combat knife with magnesium steel fire starter built in (removable)
I AM CODY LUNDIN .
I am at one with my surroundings
>>700526953
Dumb Murican
What about fire and a tool to build shelters?
YOU GUNNA DIE
A box of tendies
>>700527726
Kek
>>700527726
Had a good kek, thanks for that.
>>700542942
I'll bring the ranch dressing
A whore. When my stomach hunger overwhelms my dick hunger I'll eat her.
>>700537541
Nah, if I get a Brit, it would be Jenna Coleman
>>700526694
the island is abandoned, there is likely plenty of useful items to scavenge and repurpose.
.
>>700543453
She is 10/10
I hope one day she will rub her sweaty pussy and asshole all over my face after running a marathon
>>700526694
A bretling watch then pull emergency cord and be rescued in a day or less
>>700534014
Anon there will be sloths on the island
Why bring one
>>700543453
Amateur choice.
>>700526694
Michelle Obama, so I could get rescued within a couple hours.
>>700544943
they have to know where you took her
and if they do find you, you go to guantanamo
>>700544943
Nah, she would have gotten stranded with me, right? I'm sure things would blow over fine for me, maybe not for everybody. Its not like I would willingly get stuck on the island. They would just look all over for her, you just need someone to put a few billion dollars into finding you.
My Taylor swift scat and anal porn
So no one can see it
a magic (3d printer type device?) that can create anything i want, no materials required
hey, nobody said it had to be real
live on island paradise for rest of life with magically created things
a magic (3d printer type device?) that can create anything i want, no materials required
hey, nobody said it had to be real
live on island paradise for rest of life with magically created things
yay
>>700546033
why not just ask for a magic wand then you dip shit and wish yourself off the island?
No magic
>>700546033
why not just say the tardis
>>700545843
Nice try
>>700546243
who said the aim was to get off the island?
>>700526694
a boat ....
>>700546306
Fucker
Kek
>>700546390
where did OP say that magic was allowed?
one Anders Breivik
test
>>700546410
My dolphin whistle.ill call them then ride off to safety on their backs
>>700526694
Assuming this isn't one of these threads where the goal posts are moved every time somebody thinks of something the OP didn't, then a satellite phone, fully charged. If I can't have that, then a sharp knife, preferably from Bear Blades.
>>700546745
they would rape you about as fast as niggers would
>>700547027
Already covered here
>>700537313
>>700547122
you get one item
you said dolphin whistle
dolphins are known for raping humans
>>700533406
If your a true weed smoker there is always a way!
>>700547122
this was meant for you
>>700546837
>>700547311
Need proof anon
>>700547410
You put the weed in the coconut and light that shit up
>>700526694
A fully stocked supermarket
>>700526694
A girl for sex and help around camp
>>700547806
I'm shure that's more than one item you autist
>>700526694
A skinned face
>>700526694
A young girl that admires me, fuck being stuck im living on this island and keeping the deed il live there with my waifu and not have to deal with civilization or this shit site again.
>>700526694
My Quran signed by cat Stevens
>>700547685
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlaZis3KQl8
>>700547994
>>700548745
Nope I won't click that now will I
>>700548983
your scared of something on jewtube??
>>700548831
Oops I saved the thumbnail
My bad
>>700549240
Yes very afraid
> hey here's a link on /b/ I'll just click it
Party van arrives I'm locked up
>you laugh
>>700533174
fuck you
A wish, the wish I never met adumb imbecile to get me on no island
A teleporter so I can teleport back home.....
>>700526694
A Batallion of fully armed US Soldiers
>>700527726
/thread
>>700549933
Duble dubs
>>700549785
there is no food
you are the weakest
unless you can offer a service that they can't do themselves you are dinner
>>700535550
don't post if you are in 3rd grade
>>700542929
Exactly.
>>700526694
A hydrogen bomb.
Because why the fuck not, you're probably gonna want to kill yourself at some point, I can't think of a better way to an hero
>>700542929
>you can have one thing
>uuhhh i take fire, and a tool to build shelter!
being this cancerous
>>700526694
Michael Phelps.
>>700551205
Combat knife with built in Flint striker
Fuck you u dumb cunt.a blade is the ultimate survival tool .plus a fire starter built into it .
One item you fuckin neckbearded wast of cum and eggs
>>700551508
Does he have shit on his nose?
>>700534385
Bear grills ?
>>700526694
a calendar that counts the days of the universe.
satellite telephone.
gg ez.
>>700526694
A bag, with everything necessary inside.
Mr. Meeseks box
>>700542929
The gun is for yourself for when you realize no one's coming for you.
And how exactly would you "bring" a fire?
Fucking idiot.
