What's the most offensive joke you know?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What's the most offensive joke you know?
how do yo fit 50 jews in one car?
2 in front, two in the back, the rest in the ashtray
https://youtu.be/2QOIRuc6sZU
how does OP take off his condom?
I shit inside nigger assholes
>>699817934
What happens when white christians think they are under attack?
They make america great again.
How do you pick up a jewish girl?
A shovel.
If I had a penny for every racist thing I said some black motherfucker would rob me.
What do you call the useless skin around a vagina?
A woman.
What do you call a flying jew?
Smoke.
I'm sick and tired of all this political correctness, nowadays you can't even say "black paint!"
Apparently now you have to say "Leroy paint my fence please"
>>699820905
lolololololololol
How long does it take a baby to explode in a microwave......I don't know if close my eyes when I masturbate
>>699817934
Why do you boil water when a baby is born?
In case it comes out dead, you can make soup.
Do you know how hard it is to nail a dead baby to a tree......not as hard as my Dick while I do it
What's the difference between a new born baby and a grandma?
The grandma doesn't die when you fuck it.
Whats 18 inches long
Its stiff
And it makes women scream all night long?
Cot death
>>699821064
GONNA
>>699817934
Sause
>>699821778
is that from Mr. Meaty?
how do you start a rave in africa?
staple food to the ceiling
>>699822202
>>699822241
/thread
i had an ex girlfriend who was really into rape fantasies
she liked to fantasize that she was never raped
>>699822239
The cartoon? Ye
>>699817934
What's funnier than throwing 10 babies into an industrial shredder?
Nothing! Ain't nothing funnier than throwing 10 babies into an industrial shredder! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
>>699822399
>>699822336
>>699822241
>>699822202
Stop fb Faggot
I don't believe the holocaust happened.
but I really wish it did.
>>699822511
zzzzz
What is pink 6 inches long and makes my girfriend cry when i put it in her mouth? Her miscarrage.
Is your dad in prison?
Cause if I were your dad,
I'd be in prison.
>>699822511
fuck outta here with that weak shit
how many kikes can you fit in a Volkswagen?
depends if you spent extra for the passenger ash trays
also OP sauce pls
>>699817934
Women's rights.
>>699817934
L I F E
>>699822511
>throw 10 babies into shredder
>laugh hysterically
>throw 11 babies into shredder
>suddenly not funny
>>699822854
What is gray and looks great on cops and firefighters
The World Trade Center
-whats faster than a black man running with your TV? His brother with the VCR
-What's black and blue and hates sex?
the 4 year old in my basement
What's the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage?
You can't fuck a train carriage
>ctrl+f
>aristocrat
>0 of 0
Someone is not doing their job properly.
how do you make an 8 year old cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
what's what's pink, wet, slime and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth?
her abortion
Why do these niggers on /b/ drive leaning in?...........because they think the seal is coming from outside!
>>699823324
already heard that one faggot
>>699823463
I heard ur gf screaming too
>>699822399
oh shit
>>699817934
A joke? My life
>>699820996
KEK
>>699817934
It's the future. The future where (insert candidate you don't like) gets elected.
ISIS has now become its own country
and I, I have a daughter.
She's 6, and is dying of bone cancer.
And like that, the news station flashes on screen
The bombs are coming. The infidels will lose.
And so with tears in my eyes, I close my daughter's bedroom door, and unzip my trousers.
At least those sand nigger bastards won't get their 72nd virgin from her.
what do you call an autistic jew?
auschwitztic
>>699823172
FUCK YOU YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE.
> Knock Knock
> Who's there?
> Your Mom's a whore!
> Your Mom's a whore who?
> I'm going out for cigs you little shit. Tell you when I get back
How do you get a Jewish girls number?
>Roll up her sleeve
What do you call a woman with half a brain?
>Gifted
How can you tell your wife is dead?
>Sex is the same, but the dishes pile up
A man goes into a pharmacy and politely asks the phamacist for birth control for his 10 year old. The phamacist replies "Your 10 year old daughter is sexually active?!". He says "Oh hell no! She mostly just lays there and cries."
>>699823856
>>699823856
>>699823856
>>699824021
>>699824140
samefaggot
ITT faggots copy and paste from the first result for "offensive jokes"
>>699824202
>>699823856
>>699824021 (You)
>>699824140
samefaggot
try again fag
>>699823856
Shouldn't have laughed
Did
Probably going to Hell
Worth it
>>699817934
why can't stevie wonder read?
because he's black
>>699824202
>>>699823856
>>>699824021
>>>699824140 (You)
>samefaggot
Mabel's wrath was legit, at least. He probably samefagged the other one.
>>699824276
(you)
>>699824498
>>699824603
if you fags need any more proof
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A rape victim
>>699824662
More
A sailor, at Sea for many months,went to a local brothel. Didn't have much money and asked for the cheapest sex possible. The lady winced and said, "top floor, end of the hall." He went in and saw the oldest, nastiest woman ever. His face said it all and she replied, "don't worry hon, I'm used to that. Turn off the lights and get in bed." He climbed in and tried and tried but couldn't penetrate her. Spit, grabbed lube, smeared Vaseline, and finally said, "Sorry, ma'am. I can't get it in. You're too dry." She sat up, moved to the edge of the bed and he saw her fiddle around in the dark. She laid down and said, "Try again." He slid right in and fucked for all he was worth. After, smoking a cigarette, he asked, "what did you do? That was the best feeling pussy I ever felt! Do you have a special lube?"
Her reply, "No, hon. I just picked the scabs and let the puss run."
I'll see myself out.
>>699817934
How do u get 1000 babies into a bathtub...with a blender.
How do u get em out?
With a bag of Dorito chips.
>>699821064
SPAGHETTI
>>699824934
What's black and sits at the top of the staircase?
A quadriplegic after a housefire..
Why are thete only 2 pallbearers at a black funeral?
There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.
Wat's the hardest thing about running through a field of dead babies? My dick.
>>699820996
What's black and doesn't work? Half of London.
>>699824301
Um, I just posted mine. Not same faggot. Um, I guess I'm a different one.
How long does it take a nigger slut to take a shit?
>about 9 months
>>699822558
Not a joke when i say it
My existence
Whats black and eats pussy?
cervical cancer
>>699825688
the most offensive thing I've ever heard is the word nigger or a couple middle school dead baby jokes
> every god damned comment in this thread
>>699825715
Not sure if Homer liked my post or just shit himself. Either way, win/win.
What does a nigger and a slinky have in common?
They're both pretty fucking useless but it's fun as fuck watching them fall down a flight of stairs.
>>699817934
What's the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit??? The bucket.
Not necessarily offense but just vulgar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg
>>699824934
Seen
How did they know that the astronauts on the space shuttle Challenger had dandruff?
They found their head and shoulders on the beach!
Too soon?
What did the Pedo Rabbi say?
Go easy on the sweets kid
>>699824934
ITT some of the shittiest jokes.
Whats the difference between a nigger and dog shit?
At least when dog shit gets old it turns white and stops stinking.
Ok here is my fav and my worst one..
>Woman is having baby
>Nurse and doctor telling the Woman to push harder
>Women screams in agony
>Doctor holds baby
>Woman ask if it was a boy or girl?
Doctor throws the baby across the room
>Drops kicks the baby
And throws it down the hallway
>Women screaming in agony saying *WHY!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS*
>Doctor brings back baby holding it by the ankles
>Doctor says..
>Ha I am just fucking with you, it was already dead when it came out.
Why do paedophiles always have beards and glasses? What is it about that look that children find so sexy?
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday
*BA DUM TISS*
>>699826424
Have anything better?
How do you starve a nigger?
>hide his food stamps under his workboots
My joke of a sex life
>>699821508
heart attacks? that should be switched but it still wouldn't make it funny
>>699822456
Hahaha dude did you make that up?
I'm thinking about applying to the Dallas Police department. Not because I want to be a police officer, but because I heard there were openings.
>>699823181
Tell the joke
Knock knock?
>>699826822
dubs who?
>>699827003
Dave
>>699823181
>IMPLYING>>699826120
>>699826473
That my friend, is a god tier dark joke
Pretty sure iv heard it before, but still pretty damn funny.
10/10
What do you call a single punch that can take out an entire room of first graders?
A sandy hook.
What's the difference between white people and milk?
>when left alone milk will create culture
>>699826120
>Scrolled down to the comments
"Not my proudest fap"
Kek'd
>>699817934
Obama
>>699827094
Hey Doubles Dave, how's it going?
Statiscaly 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
>>699827285
Did you watch til the end when the guy says "When you talked about the father fist fucking the daughter, my dick got so hard"
I know a lot of people tell this joke but Gilbert Gottfried tells it best
The Aristocrats.
>>699817934
Why do black people love God so much?
Its because he's the only father that hasn't abandoned them.
>>699820905
Hey asshole. Stop the KZ jokes. My grandfather died there.
He fell from a watchtower when he was drunk.
>>699826120
This is bringing back found memories of my childhood!
What do 9 out of 10 people think is awesome?
Gang rape
>>699817934
what do latinas and oranges have in common?
they often come in the market bruised.
>>699827368
Doublemint Dave! Anyway
Knock knock
dave
Dave holds back his tears as he realises his mothers alzheimers is getting worse
Why couldn't Stevie Wonder see his friends?
Because he's married.
why can't Mexicans play uno because
they have all the greencards
>>699824934
dude...
People say that Steve Jobs died to soon. But I think it was a fitting metaphor for his company’s attitude to battery life
The Children of Sandy Hook wanted books instead they got magazines
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!"
"But... But it can't be... We buried you..."
"Yeah, I'm just fucking about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key."
>>699822336
This ones funny
Why does beyonce sing to the left?
>>699829171
Why?
>>699829010
Kek Madd mccann Dont think most on here will know her
>>699817934
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
>>699829699
>>699820905
>how do you call the fat skin around a vagina?
>your mother.
what does the jewish pedophile say?
"hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"
>>699817934
whats worse than a bee sting
>two bee stings
whats worse than two bee stings
>the holocaust
whats worst than the holocaust
>three bee stings
>>699829389
niggers aint got no rights
So there are two niggers walking in a street
The first one said :
if you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep no immunities
>>699821067
newfag
I'm sick to fucking death of skinheads queue jumping at Disneyland!
>>699817934
God exists. That's it. That's by far the most offensive joke I know.
Niggers xD
Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?
Little Johnny goes up to his dad and says, "Why does Grandma have a shrimp between her legs?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Dad says.
"Come on, I'll show you!"
Little Johnny takes his dad to the living room, where Grandma has fallen asleep on the couch. Her skirt has ridden up and everything is visible. Little Johnny points to his grandmother's clitoris and says, "See! It's a shrimp!"
Johnny's dad quickly throws a blanket over her and pushes him out of the room. "Now, I know that might have looked like a shrimp, but it's not. It's just... part of Grandma's private parts, okay."
"Oh, okay. But, Dad?"
"Yes, Johnny?"
"If it's not a shrimp, how come it tastes like one?"
>>699828754
That's just wrong
Nigger
Unlikely Exam Questions: If a car reaches a terminal velocity of 700 mph and then slows to 0mph in 2 seconds, how long will Christopher Reeves be wearing nappies?
>>699827762
Daaaaaaamn!!!!!
>>699817934
How do you know when your sisters on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
>>699820996
Well done, Anon.
I think I can explain myself to you. When I was a wee boy my grandad used to take me up in the loft. He’d take down a chest, he had up there. He’d open up the chest. Do you know what was in it? A mermaid. He’d have me strip naked as a wee boy and make love to that mermaid on the floor while he watched for his sexua1 gratification. Now years later when “the old bastard” was dead, I went back into the loft I took down the chest and opened up. Do you know what I found in there? A dead monkey with its legs sewn together.
>>699822365
HA.
>>699831059
/b/ circa 2008
>>699832320
Oh fuck me that's good
Kinda reminded me of one that's pretty similar
Girl talks to her dad
"Dad, dad, today I played doctor with Jimmy and his thingy is like a peanut!"
"What? Well, it's supposed to be small, you're still little"
"No daddy, salty!"
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/cnn-edits-out-milwaukee-victims-sister-calling-for-violence-in-the-suburbs/85107198/
Scotfag here dunno if you'll make him out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDGCwiatM8E
>>699832937
fuckin far out
what does a black man do after sex?
25 to life
>>699824934
What's the difference between a rock and a baby?
>I can't fuck the rock
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that bitch ain't been told twice already.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they beat the room for being black.
They say that 9 out of 10 people live next door to a pedophile.
I'm lucky. I don't. I just live next door to a sexy ten year old.
A little boy walks up to the bar
bar tender says: why the long face bobby?
Bobby looks at the bar tender and says how did you know my name was bobby?
Bar tender says.. well you see that's sorta a complex story but i'll try trying to tell you the short version reply to this post or else your mom will die and that Timmy is how i met your mother... and the boy says but my name is Bobby... bar tender says.. hey thanks for telling me your name brat.
>>699825187
Kek
have you ever tried ethiopian food? Neither have they.
>>699833852
omfg
>>699833852
yea real funny dick
>>699833852
kek
>>699833587
Not with that attitude you can't
>>699825772
You are the funniest joke in this thread, friend.
My life.
>>699832320
Absolutely genius
>>699827211
All the kids at sandy hook wanted was books, but they got magazines instead
How tall is the grass in Germany?
0/
Zith heil
Whats black, white and red?
Nun rape
>>699827978
Oh no, 8/10 dad was having second thoughts
>>699833852
Mega bricks have been shat
There was a black father and son on the plane flying. All of a sudden the plane started to lose altitude. The pilot goes on the intercom and stated "Passengers, this is the pilot speaking, we are losing altitude and we need to start throwing people out of the plane in order to regain altitude", Furthermore, the pilot stated, " We are going to do this in alphabetical order".
"Please all African, please get up and jump out of the plane". Nobody got up.
"Please all Blacks, Please get up and jump out of the plane". Nobody got up.
"Please all Color, Please get up and jump out of the plane". Nobody got up.
While this was going on, the black son was confused and asked his father, " Dad, they called us three times, Why didn't we get up and jumped out of the plane?"
The father responded by saying, "Son, today we're not African, Black, or Color. Today son, we're Niggers!".
A man goes to a brothel and says to the madam, "I want a black woman. And I mean BLACK! Black as the darkest, moonless, night."
The madam says, "Oh, then you want Shawniqua. Go up to room number 4 and I'll send her up in a few minutes." The man goes upstairs and waits. Several minutes pass before Shawniqua comes in.
"Hey baby," she says, "I'll do whatever you want."
"Good, strip naked." he says. So she does. "Now bed over and touch your toes." And again, she does as she's told. "No, no! Touch your toes, but face away from me!" So Shawniqua turns around and bends over.
The man stares for a moment and thinks. Finally he says, "Okay, thanks. Have a good night."
"What? That's it? Honey, I can do things to you that no other woman on earth could possibly do!"
"Look, I'm sure you could, but that's really all I needed. See, my wife wants to paint the bedroom black and put up pink curtains. And I just wanted to see what it looks like!"
Whats that Joker, you'll be back? Somehow i dont think so
>>699817934
My sex life. No one wants to fuck an attack helicopter.
My friends had a really realistic piniata last week. So we were dressed as ghosts and went with our dads to a convention. We saw a tree with a fake guy hanging out if it. So naturally we go hit him with a baseball bat. It was so real it was hard to get anything out of it. Fucking halloween... our sister got the candy.
>>699827266
Thank you. I have been looking for a good/simple whitey joke, literally forever.
How does a black woman know when shes pregnant?
When she takes a tampon out the cotton is already picked
What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave? I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
The most offensive joke i know...
Liberals
>>699827266
My sides
>>699817934
Why does the pedophile always get second place?
Because he likes to come in a little behind.
WHATS MORE FUNNY THAN A DEAD BLACK?
TWO DEAD BLACKS
HAHAHAHAHHAHSHAAAAASDAHSD IM FUKIN EDGY UPVOTE ME FAGGOTS LELELELLELELLELLELELELE XDXDXDXDDXD
>>699821508
winner
Did you know that if you spell racercar backwards its racecar again? And did you know if you flip ɹɐɔǝɔɐɹ upside down Paul Walker dies?
>>699824323
Finally one that isn't shit
>>699835702
W-what about 3 dead black people?
>>699817934
I don't know what the big deal is with pedophiles.
They're just fucking immature asshole.
>>699824323
Dude. Stevie Wonder has like 4 kids that he's never even seen.
What a piece of shit.
>>699823172
Whos the amazon tranny in the pic?
>>699820575
but have you pissed up their urethra?
>>699836259
4 is pretty low for a nigger.
>>699823719
Bone cancer?
Give her some of your bone, no?
>>699833852
Shitpost
>>699835281
fucking autist
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
You pick up him and suck his dick.
>>699836504
WHY THO
>>699820160
kek
>>699837053
Why not?
>>699817934
OPs life
>>699826257
why was there only one black teacher on the challenger?
They legitimately didn't know it was going to crash!
>>699817934
what says monkey when u smash wattermellon? SSSSHHHEEEEEEEEEEET
>>699837508
ilil
>>699836040
JFC hahahah
The elephant and the hippopotamus were taking a bath. And the elephant said to the hippo, 'Please pass the soap.' The hippo replied, 'No soap, radio.
>>699822655
underrated post
>>699831566
Ass
What is thick with various amounts of girth, 5 inches long, about the size if a 6 month olds arm, stays tan even though it never sees the light, gets excited easily, weighs less than a pound of butter, has one winking eye, you must reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.?
>>699838101
>>699820996
kek
>>699833852
Jesus
>>699828513
I know, right? Wasn't so funny when it happened to me. Penicillin overdose!!
what do you do when your walking in the forest and find a little girl who's just been raped?
look at a map because clearly you're walking in fucking circles.
>>699838370
These 3 filthy faggots are frolicking in a hot tub together. Suddenly a big disgusting glob of semen floats up to the surface of the water. One of the fags looks around at the other two and says: "Okay which one of you farted?"
my life
>>699823172
pimples
>>699827811
how do you make an eight year old cry twice?
wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
>>699838586
fuckn newfag
>>699838101
Ass
>>699817934
Islam
>>699838760
>dat filename
>>699817934
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
>>699820905
The penny one was actually good. The rest sucked.
>>699833852
eadf
A man and a young girl are walking into the woods at night, the young girls turns to the man and says
"I'm scared"
The man replies "your scared? What about me I've got to walk back on my own!"
>>699838101
I love these posts, please continue to make these wonderful posts in all threads anon I can't stop laughing
>>699822399
kindda there, faggot, kindda there...
>>699835501
lost
zipididoda
>>699839032
What happened when the jew walked into the wall with an erection?
He broke his nose.
>>699839379
We good?
The presidential debate was getting really heated. Trump tries to pull a fast one and declares his cock is bigger the Hillary's. He loses.
>>699838542
Is this really you, you golem?
>>699835501
holy shit, that's the best one of the thread.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a hammer, and the other is a watermelon.
what's so great about fucking 21 year olds?
.....there's twenty of them.
>>699831566
dick
>>699838760
My fucking sides
>>699834564
Nigga, whaaa?!
>>699821508
Top fucking kek
>>699824662
we didn't need any in the first place. who the fuck even cares
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot.
VOTE!!!!!
>>699838101
cunt
>>699825431
holy fuck lol
How did most of the jews leave the camps?
Through the chimney
>>699822655
Quality kek over here
What was the Jews main way of transport back in world war 2?
The wind!
Probably not too bad to /b but what do you call one black person on the moon? A problem. What do you call ten black people on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all the black people on the moon? A solution.
What's the worst part of eating hairless pussy?
Putting the diaper back on
>>699841196
>>699822336
then what about the white blacks????????
>>699825591
Underrated kek over here.
Hilary Clinton's campaign.
>>699817934
I'm better than you
What's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?
There's twenty of them.
>>699817934
womens rights
What's the best thing about using a 3 year old girl?
Once you're done you can flip her over and use her as a 3 year old boy.
>>699842007
>>699829699
>>699830617
Oh MAN
>>699842393
>little mulatto or half spic shit
>bad childhood
so crazy man wow
>>699823566
Dubs'n kek.
>>699820905
kek
>lmao....I feel so racist laughing
>>699817934
You're mom
>>699842393
dat moment you realize you come from a long line of whores and are probably going to be a whore if you grow up
>>699842927
He's your mom wow that sux bro
>>699840495
Top Kek
>>699827266
we have culture. but you niggers destroyed it when you lazy fucks decided you didnt wana be slaves anymore. ungreatful spear chuckers
The children of Sandy Hook wanted full length educational videos but sadly only got a few clips.
Not great but I just made it up kek
after recent events and living in wisconsin, i do find this quite funny
Anal sex is a lot like eating broccoli. If you are forced to do it as a kid, you are going to hate it when you grow up.
>>699843506
What kind of file do you need to turn a quarter inch hole into a 2" hole?
A pedophile.
>>699829010
Nice.
>>699833852
Neither funny, or offensive. Just cheap - like your mom!
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left"?
cause niggers have no rights
>>699838542
Classic Gilbert
how many Mexicans
Does it take
to change a light bulb?
It
Takes
juan
