Best of 4chan / Greentext thread
>>698814823
>"Made a variety of facial expressions at parents while saying weather over and over"
I fucking lost lmfao
>>698814823
This story is so fucking fake, acid does not do shit like that to you, I tripped for 48 hours without doing some stupid shit like that.
>>698815563
Explain please
>>698815754
What's to explain
>>698815832
I dont understamnd the beyblade thing, maybe because english its not my native language idk
>>698814961
EVERY time I meet a Phil I want to always greet him with "haypil" but then I pussy out for fear of being the retard
>>698815924
Not sure if bait...
>>698815924
Rip can both stand for "Rest in peace" or the verb "to rip", which can mean "move forcefully and rapidly", like Beyblades.
>Be me
>Be 2016
>Another glorious day in USM (United States of Minions)
>Wake up to my minion alarm-clock
>"BEE DOO BEE DOO BEE DOO"
>Shit I'm fucking late for work!
>Quickly rush and throw on my goggles.
>Head out to my car and book it to the minion-doll factory.
>Boss notices I forgot my blue-overalls
>He looks pissed
>Hear him walking over...
>"TA TA TA BALA TU"
>I just blankly nod in agreement with his gibberish and sigh.
>He hands me a written warning
>it says "banonina! bee doo bee doo!"
>Be 6 hours later
>Workday finally over.
>Head to my car and pop in my government-mandated mixtape
>My car and all other cars blasting "I'm havin' a bad bad day. It's about time I get my way."
>Finally get home...
>Head inside and decide to watch some youtube videos.
>All video games released in last year are about minions... so I cant' watch any good streamers.
>All advertisements are minions.
>Decide to watch porn instead.
>Hit genres on pornhub
>Minion-kakke
>Minion-double penetration
>Minion-anal.
>notmycupofteabutohwell.jpeg
>Begin to rub one out
>Minion getting fucked making weird noise
>"Butt... baboi... butt baboi!"
>Roommate busts in the door
>He's wearing a giant minion-costume
>Screams "BELLO!"
>>698815924
Beyblades are tops that you battle other people with. To spin them, you pull a rip chord through the launcher. They made it a gimmick to shout "let it rip" as you pulled the chord.
>>698815490
They are indeed fake as fuck, most wannabe-hipsters think they'll enter some sort of nirvana when they do some acid.
Rage thread
>>698816160
You are my hero. Never played and knew such a shit
dumping stuff
pure classic
>>698815490
Acid doesn't last 48 hours, you did some RC
Im sorry to do this to you but its the only greentext story i can throw atm, be mentally prepared for it
>>698817089
Hipster alert. Maybe he took more acid to continue tripping for a total of 48 hours
>>698817750
Lol hard at this everytime I see it
>>698817376
That's dumb
>>698816148
Stoped reading after minion alarm.
>kys
>>698817862
Ok thanks
actual oc, glad to see faggots saving and posting this
>>698817868
Ahahahaha, OP is a fucken real life pic related
>>698815924
Google Beyblade you intolerable idiot
>>698818287
>>698818335
>hivemind
>>698818394
oh shit u rite
>>698818531
Gets me every time
>>698816160
Spacetops of GTFO!
>>698817214
feels man
>>698818699
>check
also im sorry man i know its not a feels, i damn near broke down so i had to save it
/fit/ has the best greentexts
>>698818841
Agreed
/r/ing the one where the guy tries to squat body weight his first time
>tfw you were in this thread WAYYYY back then and you can't believe you're still here
>>698818060
gtfo newfag
>>698819098
Top kek
>>698818576
gets me every time
>>698815959
pussy
>>698818576
>and I have an immunity that negates all the negate all the immunities nyah nyah
seriously this reminds me of grade school when I played pretend. there was always at least a guy who said "i'm unkillable" and another "i can kill the unkillable" and another "i can't be killed even by who kills the unkillable"
>>698819795
this guy gets it
>>698818576
f***
Bump
>>698819500
fucking dimitri
B U M P
U
M
P
>>698818576
lol
>>698821393
The pissplate is shit, I cannot think of a single door that I could shove a pissdisc underneath.
What's way better, is the PISSBUCKET:
>Get together a couple of friends
>Take a bucket of any size you like
>Piss in it until it's at least half full.
>Lean it onto the victims front door.
>Ring the bell.
>Run like hell
>Prepare for kek.
Bonus points are achieved by doing the whole thing in the MIDDLE OGF THE NIGHT, because noone is amused when a half full bucket of piss falls onto his feet, into his house, at 3 in the motherfucking night.
not green, but still needed
>>698821706
Did he ever come back?
>>698821229
This one always improves my mood.
best post ever
>>698822235
He died =/
>>698822365
From what? Did they get him?
Keep the thread going fags
>>698819013
a true story for the ages
If I didnt have to captcha verify every single fucking time, I could've dump all I had (~120 pics)
>>698816384
epic!
>>698815152
This is shit....why save?
This was a particularly bad one
<kekpot
>>698814177
kek
Milhouse the meme
>>698823487
Nice "How to make a bomb tutorial"
>>698815853
Holy fuck i used to talk to this girl on kik
/adv/ is truly a magical place
>>698823487
fuck did someone actually do this? I saw this on the news.
>>698815152
I take it he left out the part where he died. Still not epic
>>698815242
I wish this would be real
>>698823905
more of these
>>698824198
Im missing the last part of chin many does aNYONE HAVE IT?
>>698817214
feels/10
Is the Vocaroo still somewhere?
>>698816447
Here, the full version.
Delete your shit version.
>>698824847
Topkek>>698824847
>>698824847
Thanks Dr
>>698824847
Thanks Doc
>>698824942
Pikachu can't even lern teleport, hence your joke makes no sence you utter faglord
>>698824847
ahhh daily dose
>>698818576
heh
>>698825232
where is the shit? clearly a fake
>>698823200
oh man, this one is good...
>>698825327
idk, seems like he was trying too hard with the brony part. not sure if real, then again, it is the current year
>>698824304
git gud pleb
>>698818576
lame
>>698814961
>tard stories
What happened to these threads? Is there no one on here who's put into class with vegetables anymore? I miss these threads.
>>698815490
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>>698825232
That bag.
>>698817214
Holy fuck I'm actually in tears
>>698817945
Kill yourself
>>698815897
>scared of your own shadows
Yet again feminism is way ahead.
>>698818807
>hardest metal
>metal
The original OP was also a dumb shit.
>>698826684
> "I need feminism because I am literally retarded"
Sounds right.
>>698825327
>Brony
>Cock Fetish
>"Not Gay"
>>698826352
>i cant into english
i don't understand shit whatsoever
>>698826232
Japan bringing the heat.
>>698819795
THIS
>>698817306
>the ass was fat
Fucking classic. Haven't seen this one in a while.
>>698827564
Man this one is sad
for the record
>>698820362
Was here. The good old coup thread.
>>698818576
love you mum
>>698822939
this is not 9gag..
>>698816633
I liked him in Savages.
>>698814177
Anyone has the charcoal pizza dick thread?
>>698823124
been a while since ive seen that one. so good. kek everytime
>>698821393
Just take a small hose and a big syringe. You can place it virtually anywhere around their flat with enough patience and dexterity.
>>698818576
o shit
>>698822453
he died from eternal bleeding caused by nerve gas.
>>698823905
If only.
>>698825683
Can't stump the trump
>>698814177
oh fuck i remember that thread, good times
>>698828668
Fuck that is vintage.
Any more from that era?
>>698815754
The one guys said "let her RIP"
a beyblade (google it) sentence is "let it rip"
nuff said
>>698816496
HE WASNT EVEN A DUB
>>698826268
I fucking hate this bullshit with putting completely irrelevant "HA SO KEK" responses into the screenshot. It's the /b/ equivalent of audio clips of laughter in sitcoms. I fucking know when to laugh just fine, thanks.
>>698830978
this
>>698826352
Holy shit.
>>698818576
Does it work through a screencap tho
>>698818576
fgt
>>698826535
>I do not in her
Don't tell me she doesn't notice that. I call bullshit.
>>698818576
kek
>>698828851
I genuinely laughed at that pun. My sense of humour is terrible.
>>698817306
I didn't expect feels this early, fuck you.
bumpa
>>698818576
damn
>>698817214
this gets me every fucking time. I never save it, because I would probably cry when opening my chanfolder
>>698814177
I know those people. Or anyway, knew them from NYC fandom before they got married - late 80s, early 90s. Can't vouch for the story, but it's in character for them.
>>698823124
not laughed like that in a while
>>698817877
I am in fucking tears right now. Thank you so much for posting this.
>>698818576
XDDDD
>be me,17
>at a friends house
>my friend want more cigarettes so he goes to the store
>Meanwhile he was at the store I grabbed a lighter
>I lit a piece of paper on fire on a table
>FUCKNUGGETS.JPEG
>the table was on fire
>I tried to put it out
>when my friend's parents came home they just saw a table on while a fucktard was trying to put it out
>after my friend's put out the fire he ask what fuck just happen
>I told him it was lit cigarette that started the fire
>They believed me
>When my friend came home his parents went crazy on him
>They slapped him, took away his cigarettes and grounded him for 2 months
>He never know if actually did it or not
It feels good to nearly set your friend's house on fire and you get away with it
>>698817214
wow... i cry...
>>698818576
shiet
>>698817214
Too much feels for me Î am crying right now
>>698824287
You literally cured my depression.
Saved kek
>>698822453
are you retarded?
Does anyone have the one about the guy who talks about his first post on /b/? It was about some pokemon and it was autistic as fuck. I can't find it anywhere so if you have it post it pls
>>698836882
I'll have you know i am retarded you fuckbear
>>698814177
Even if an incest couple reproduced it wouldnt be that bad compared to this.
>>698818576
Fug.
>>698836882
The fact you're asking this question on /b/ proves just how retarded YOU are
>>698818576
kys
>>698818576
fuck
>>698818576
4penzi
>>698826535
weirdest boner
