I'm in my 20s and I live with my mother. I never learned to drive. I dropped out of high school. I never got my GED. I've never had a job. I have absolutely no friends. I haven't left the house in months, quite literally. She's kicking me out in 3 days. She's begun the process of selling my belongings, which is perfectly legal because everything I 'own' are things that she bought with her own hard-earned money, so technically I don't actually have any belongings in the first place. Everything I have is hers. Apparently, I'm not even eligible to join the military.
I'm going to be homeless in 3 days. I have no one I can lean on, not even other family members -- my mother and I are the only remaining members of our family. I have no job experience. I have no education. I have no money. I have no driver's license, or a even car. I can't join the military. I have absolutely nothing left. Reality is lemons and I don't know how to make lemonade.
What do I do? Where do I go?
This is how you become homeless, you know those people you see sitting on the side of the street? You're one of those guys now
>>698790127
Kill yourself and live stream it
>>698790346
Is that it? Am I completely hopeless now? Is my life totally unsalvageable? There's nothing I can do now?
>>698790127
You fucked up pretty hard but you actually might be able to get out of this before youre 30 if you actually want to. If youre gonna he homeless get as many toilettries and nice clothes as you can. Print out like 50 resumes (even if nothings on it) and bring it to fast food places, restraunts, gas stations, ect. Im sure homeless shelters exist in your area while youre saving money for rent. Once you have a job and place, go back and finish highschool.
There. Thats it. You just have to work for it
>>698790841
I'm scared but I guess that's just what I'll have to do.
Looks like I'm homeless for a while.
Stay away from alcohol and drugs too
She just sold my guinea pigs on Craigslist. Some old guy with shitty, annoying kids is taking them. The kids are renaming them and their new names are literally not clever at all. I'm so mad right now.
>>698790600
Exactly how far into your 20s are you?
How is it you made it past 18 without even learning to drive? How has the allure of pussy not enticed you into reaching out to the world beyond moms basement? You are hopeless.
On the other hand 'Unsalvageable' is not a word I'd expect a HS/GED dropout to choose and use correctly in a sentence. Holding out for a glimmer of hope that OP is trolling.
>>698791175
Make a fucking resume right the fuck now
It's OK if there is no job experience there, just make sure there are no typos and it's legible; 7/10 employers will understand it and sympathize
Add in personal interests, make some simple shit up if you have to. Any previous experience with your family also counts
e.g.
>previous experience fixing car engines (Volkswagen Jetta 2016)
You have to print those 50 resume copies right the fuck now
I repeat
Right
The
Fuck
Now
>>698791175
That's the most awesome complaint.
>Literally not clever at all
I'm smiling ear to ear.
Whereabouts are you op?
>>698791465
>Exactly how far into your 20s are you?
I'm 26 right now. Just passed the halfway mark.
>How is it you made it past 18 without even learning to drive?
I dunno. It somehow managed to slip past me. I've had a lot of other things constantly going on, so learning to drive wasn't exactly top priority.
>How has the allure of pussy not enticed you into reaching out to the world beyond moms basement?
I guess not.
>You are hopeless.
...oh.
>On the other hand 'Unsalvageable' is not a word I'd expect a HS/GED dropout to choose and use correctly in a sentence. Holding out for a glimmer of hope that OP is trolling.
I'm actually not trolling. I'm not dumb or anything. I used to excel at one point but somewhere down the line (I think some time around middle school) I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know how to articulate it. Middle and high school were shitty years and my grades suffered like hell. At some point, I just flaked and dropped out.
I wish I were anyone else right now.
>>698791610
I'll get on it. Researching how to make a resumé as we speak.
>>698790127
I'm in a similar situation,what you need to do is find motivation or a goal
>>698791875
Their new names are literally Brown, White, Black and Gray.
I'm not even kidding. Every time I think about it I can feel my blood pressure rising a bit. What the fuck; you just name them after the color of their fur? That's all you could think of? Fuck you. I mean, my names weren't much better, but damn, at least try a little.
>>698791913
I live in Phoenix. I don't care much for it.
>>698792081
Make sure to have:
>Correct spelling and punctuation
>Accurate contact information
If you have some work experience, even if it's unrelated, include it. Something's better than nothing. If you lack official work experience though,
>extracurriculars or relevant interest experience
>or even community service of some sort
Also, be fucking presentable. Take a shower while you still can.
Look like someone they'd be at least OK with being around.
>>698792156
That's one of my biggest issues. I haven't the slightest clue where I want to go, what I want to do, or any goals at all. But in this situation, what I want to do no longer really matters. At this point it's basically about surviving. 'Want' comes later, I guess.
Yeah McDonald's usually has a day when they do interviews for new people. Find out what day it is and stay there all day until you get hired. Might have to sweet talk or fuck the manager tho
>>698791950
>I've had a lot of other things constantly going on
I guess I'll ask. Like what? What exactly have you had going on? Because it sounds like you've done absolutely nothing in life to this point.
>>698792388
Duly noted.
>Accurate contact information
I don't really know how to approach this aspect of it. I don't have a cellphone anymore, and, of course, I'm not going to have a mailing address or anything. I guess the only solid contact information I have right now is my email address, but I'm pretty sure I won't have my computer for that much longer, either. I would be perfectly fine with using a library computer, but apparently getting a library card here is like joining some exclusive country club or some shit like that. They make it so hard."We need proof of address, like a bill or report card or driver's license or something." I haven't got anything like that.
>>698792588
>Might have to sweet talk or fuck the manager tho
Honestly, offering to fuck the manager would probably be perceived as more of a threat than a bribe with the way I look.
>>698792817
I was busy in high school. Things got ugly at home and it drained me.
>>698793004
How do you look?
>>698793082
I'm not a model, let's put it that way.
>>698790127
You can't go to a doctor? What's wrong with you?
>>698793429
>You can't go to a doctor?
What do you mean? Like a therapist? I don't have the money for that.
>What's wrong with you?
I wish I knew.
>>698793590
Why can't I get rid of trolls? You seem to be of that persuasion, unfortunately, OP? Are you some kind of godforsaken addict to trolling or something?
Make a cover letter explaining that you have had to leave home urgently, if you need to 'lie' and say you were being abused. If you don't have contact information then offer to return in a couple of days at a set time to see what the situation is. Ask to speak to the manager of anywhere you hand in your resume to so you can explain what is going on, don't risk wasting copies on low level staff who might just throw them away. Assure any manager that you speak to that you plan on working hard and will happily take any paid work at all. Do not oversell your situation, be vague about it but be clear you need something urgently, don't annoy someone by demanding pity, try to come across as being strong, determined but in a bad situation. Good luck Anon.
>>698790127
WHAT THE FUCK IS NO ONE GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW THERE IS NO IMAGE THERE OR WHAT?!
>>698793590
Have you considered Medicaid or is it against your beliefs?
Would your mom allow you to stay not permanently but just for a month or so while you try to get your act together? Most parents would have sympathy especially if she sees you're really trying to make a change. Don't ask for much just for a temporary place while you send out your resume.
>>698793819
What are you talking about? I'm very serious. I need advice. Nearly everyone in this thread has been helpful on some level besides you.
>>698793874
I'll see what I can do. Thanks for helping so much.
>>698793943
I don't really have any beliefs against it or anything. I just haven't really considered visiting a doctor.
>>698793947
I've tried haggling as much as I can. She's adamant on evicting me in 3 days. She says she'll call the police if I hang around any longer. She also says she wants nothing to do with me from here out. Won't even look at me anymore.
You can also try to get temporary housing and food stamps from the county http://myhsd.maricopa.gov/Employees-Local-Agencies/Local-Agencies/Social-Service-Departments-(State-County).aspx
>>698793995
Serious about what again? This must be the googillionth attempt I've come across a thread from someone like you. I can list examples, like a thread by someone who is addicted to the Internet and did not sleep for the lsst three days who feels depersonalization. Is that someone like you? Was that you?
>>698792383
At least you're in a place with a good job market
>>698794281
Isn't that the same as shunning this >>698793943 because of political beliefs?
>>698793909
He's just so ugly a mod deleted it?
>>698794281
I'll try this, thanks anon.
>>698794576
I actually saw that thread, and no, that wasn't me. I actually don't really post here very often. I just wanted some advice, and >>>/adv/ is too slow/low on activity/full of feelsy circlejerks to actually offer and legitimate help. You're not helping.
>>698793185
Has anyone ever said to you that you're "good looking" out of pity or to set you up to crush you later on?
>>698790127
Just give her the D and keep leeching, eat her pussy and fck her ass. Man up and she wont kick you, look for a job also
>>698794667
I wasn't aware of that. That makes me feel a bit better, actually.
>>698794815
No, it's just a blank image that I use for "pic unrelated" situations. If a mod deletes a picture but leaves the post up, you'd see a "NO FILE" or "FILE DELETED" message.
>>698794260
Have things always been bad between you and your mother? It's possible she's being cruel to be kind, giving you a kick up the arse to better yourself.
>>698794944
It was a joke. You'd know that if you went outside.
Also why are you disqualified for the military? Honestly what you need right now.
>>698794841
>>698794841
To tell you the truth, I think I know (of) you, and believe it or not, despite your so-called "good or best intentions," you're not really helping, either.
Unless someone's gonna pony up the dough to send him or adopt this guy, I think we've done all we can. good luck you're gonna need it
>>698790127
she doesnt own gifts
check the law, little buddy
if she gave them to you she relinquished ownership
you can actually call the police if she does
>>698790127
how are you ineligible for the military im genuinely curious
>>698792081
You're in your twenties and don't know how to make a resume? Man...
>>698794937
Wincest is the easiest solution. You both live alone OP? Be her sexual relief
>>698794882
No one has told me I'm "good looking" on any occasion, really. I've never been told I'm ugly, but I've never been told I'm good looking. No, wait, actually my mom called me handsome, once, years ago, but that was about it. Then again, I don't really socialize much so it's not like I've been around a lot of people who can comment on my looks anyway.
>>698794937
Pic related
>>698795006
I'd really rather not talk about her.
>>698795017
>It was a joke. You'd know that if you went outside.
Looking back, I see that now.
>Also why are you disqualified for the military? Honestly what you need right now.
Health conditions and I'm not sure but I think you have to have a high school education or GED to be recruited.
>>698795087
Oh, really? Who do you think I am, then?
>>698794260
Call her a rancid pigs cunt when you leave. And tell her you hope that she's raped by dogs next time she goes out and that she catches rabies.
OP do you have a PayPal?
>>698794260
Sounds like you deserve it to be honest.
Youve made it a profession to leech off anyone, including your mother, with no return. Having a tough life sucks, but that's no excuse to quit trying to live. There are burn victims, quadrapalegics, and rape survivors that still find a way to live.
If you have no passion, goals, or even drive to do something that puts food in your own belly, what advice can a random stranger possibly give you that would change your circumstances?
Your mother us already doing you the biggest favor anyone can give. She's kicked you out of the nest perched on a cliff.
>>698792388
You're a decent guy
>>698795006
Maybe that's the wrong kind of encouragement that he may need right now. Momma saying "this is my house, you're gonna live by my rules." I don't know how bad home life was when OP was younger, but if things are not better inside the home or outside in the neighborhood depending on possible changes to the area, that kick in the arse may be a potentially discouraging nail in the coffin for the OP. It would be for me.
>>698790127
Apply for unemployment, apply for food stamps, get food from food bank, all while trying to get a job. You could provably convince her to let you stay longer and keep using the computer I'd you prove to her you're searching for a job. People like you have plenty of options thanks to government handouts. I have to ask, how did you get so far gone? Is this whole thread billshit or do you seriously have no ambition whatsoever?
Make your camp in the street outside her house.
She'll let you back in eventually when she sees you shitting where you sleep.
>>698795290
Dont be picky you moron, your last card its your youth. Dont be picky, even if she is fat flirt her. You dont do anything useful at least try to appeal her sexually, she is old after all
>>698790127
youre pretty much fucked just end it all ready
>>698795155
Thanks. Things are going to have to get pretty ugly. before anything good starts to happen.
>>698795190
I didn't know that! What the fuck? Are you serious?
>>698795249
see >>698795290
>>698795252
I just...no one ever taught me. I know it's ridiculous but I never learned. No one told me how to make a resume.
>>698795270
see pic in >>698795290
>>698795447
Sorry about the multiple typos, I'm trying to type fast before OP leaves
Go suck dick for cash at train stations
>>698790127
Join jobcore OP. jobcore can help get you your ged or equivilent, a job and a place to live. As well as teach you a trade and help you get a fucking life teaching you social skills and what not.
My mom wants me to get neetbux and ad much as i appreciate the thought id rather not. So im going to job core to help get my shit together and become a functioning and active member of society.
>>698790127
Kill yourself OP, this world does not need you
>>698795290
>Oh, really? Who do you think I am, then?
You really want me to take a guess?
>>698794576
I'm not op, but no-one forced you into the thread, if you don't want to offer advice just fuck off
>>698795533
Why are you such a loser OP I'm curious? No ambition? Pure laziness? Or are you just stupid as hell?
>>698795362
I personally hope he kills himself
>>698795575
dont do it jobcore is for pussies and plebs. just get your Good Enough Deploma asap and join the army
>>698795744
I hope you do too.
I'll level with you, OP. You're gonna hate absolutely everything you're about to do but you need to do it. Sitting around wont accomplish anything. I know it sucks ass to actually have to strive to become something in this horrible world of ours but it's better than the alternative. Find any fucking reason to make it through, even if it's stupid as hell. Best of luck man.
honestly you should kill yourself on twitch
>>698795447
This. Take advantage of government aid while you get back on your feet. No reason the niggers should get all the free money
Get an ID. Doesn't have to be a license, just an ID of some sort. Make sure you have your social security card. Don't lose that shit. Don't laminate it. Don't wash it.
Look into drug testing. Some places will put you on their state-of-the-art drugs *and* house you for a period of time while they monitor the drugs effects. Usually pays very well; could fuck you up for life.
Get around via bus/fucking walking. Maybe buy a bike with some of the money - a stupid cheap Walmart bike.
Once you have that chunk of change, grab a burner phone. Could probably grab one for around $30. Now you have a way for an employer to contact you. Pays by the minute, but who the fuck are you going to talk to anyway?
Find an extended stay motel. Not exactly as bad as hotel prices, some even turn out to be cheaper than rent - but will be harder to stay for an extra-extended amount of time(past a few months).
Look into manual labor. Construction, roadwork, fuckitwork. Alot of manual labor doesn't give a damn about resumes and may even pay in cash/under the table. Save up.
Work multiple jobs. Work weekends. Save money. You'll be without Internet for a while. You should literally be existing only to work at this point. Keep track of your expenses.
Grab a cheap apartment. Keep saving. Now you've an address to go with your shitty burner phone.
Once you've decided you can maintain your current living conditions with a single job, get your library card. Use their Internet. Finish high school.
Apply to better places.
There is almost no mistake you can't come back from.
>>698795362
Fuck off retard. No one asks to be born into this world and I'm sure many would have declined if they knew what it would be like. He's under no obligation to "better himself" or "contribute" or any of that shit.
OP here is what you need to do right now:
Go to a homeless shelter and have them act as an address for you.
Apply for every god damn welfare program there is. Foodstamps, cash assistance, disability is great if you think you're autistic enough to get it, etc.
>>698795560
this is how i made my fortune
>>698795533
what health conditions do you have loser
>>698790127
How big is yo dick mane?
>>698795669
Are you an expert in "fucking off," OP? Before I can try it, teach me how. Seriously.
>>698795290
Health conditions will rule you out then.
Here's my advice.
Man the fuck up.
You have no sense of self value. You MUST find value in something you enjoy or something you can do or something about yourself or you will destroy yourself entirely. You are not as bad or as bad off as you think. If you do not do this you will fail at anything you do.
Get whatever work you can get. McDonalds, Wal-Mart, whatever. Just start piling in as many hours of work as you can, get a cheap ass apartment, ask your coworkers for tips and tricks on getting by, don't do drugs, don't smoke, don't drink, don't buy vidya. Once you have a job and a place then sit down and reflect on what you need to do. Financial independence is priority #1. Finding yourself is #2.
Forget about whatever hangups you have about yourself or the world you don't have time for that shit and let me tell you bub, nobody cares about how you look if you get shit done and don't act like shit.
I'm out pull your shit together.
go see a real psychiatrist, seriously, the shit they can prescribe can and will change all that crap about you. it's amazing how many people don't know this.
>>698795784
Nah, it sounds alright. If anything he should join the reserves for 3 years then unlist or whatever. Unless future president trump starts a war or something. Then you're fucked. But if youre too scared or worrued about the army then try jobcore.
Try stand up comedy; talk about your life.
If no one finds your set funny, try a few more times. If still no bites, kill yourself at the end of your last gig on stage.
>>698795903
>exist to work
This lazy sack of shit has never worked a day in his life, and couldn't even muster the effort required for a GED. There is literally 0℅ chance he can work this hard without becoming severely suicidal.
>>698795903
Or he could just die like he is meant too
Mommy won't make him any tendies anyways
>>698795984
Again, not op. But I think you are a bigger loser than op. Why are you here if you are just going to complain about it? Fuck off
>>698792840
There are literally government programs to get you a shit phone with a crap number of minutes that refreshes for free every month, SHIT, but better than nothing.
Also, if you have, or can find an old shit android, install talkatone, and use someones number to make an account and get yourself a local number and some free minutes on that. Free incoming calls, but you have to be on wifi. I think there is voice mail though.
Also, I don't know how fit you are, but you should get used to walking, like, a fucking lot.
Most shelters kick you out in the morning, and only do intakes at a specific time of night, USE THAT TIME FOR SOMETHING! Don't just sit around smoking dope, or using McD's wifi all day, or just wandering around. Do something productive.
This situation is gonna take a lot of clawing, but you can do it, Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.
>>698795249
the military doesnt take just anyone like they used too, you atleast need a ged
>>698796035
Maybe he should find a place to sleep where he won't wake up with a drug addled hooker next to him first
>>698795938
You're born with responsibility, whether you like it or not. Just because you're a lazy fucking leech of a person who is afraid of hard work doesn't absolve you of the responsibility to be a decent person. Fuck off human-waste enabler.
>>698796159
Can you make me? Are you someone in reality with the power to do that? Some ME commando can do the job for the good of Jesus or his people or some bullshit like that.
technically if they were gifts from your mother than they are your possessions. Learned that from Judge Judy
>>698796138
Perhaps, but this is kind of my "everything has gone to shit" plan. Hope I never have to use it.
Don't look for help at 4chan, is a good start.
>>698791465
found the dumb, small-dicked jock
>>698796328
>Born with responsibility
The only responsibility I have in life is to keep claiming your tax dollars as income because I'm "disabled" you self-righteous cunt.
No one is born with responsibility. It is only something you can assume.
Get a job building scaffolding, bruh. Cash money +work xp
>>698791950
This happened to me Op, i lost interest and got forced out of school at 16, lived with my parents till early 20's had no job, almost no friends basically i was an overweight, pasty skinned, neckbearded virgin.
I'm 25 now i lost 60lbs, got a haircut started watching what i eat and applied to every piece of shit job going and now i have a job, a flat, a girl friend a good group of friends and im taking classes that will hopefully lead to me getting a degree.
You can change OP, but its going to be hard work, like really fucking hard work because you're not going to want to change, you've gotten to used to taking the easy road the next few years will hurt like a son of a bitch, but just keep going, you'll make it.
prostitution is the only answer
>>698796347
Your time you're wasting, not mine
>>698795903
Holy crap, saving this. really good tips
>>698795436
>>698795436
>>698795436
OP, please answer
>>698795303
...Where would I even find a severed, rotting pig's vagina? I mean, I'm not against the idea, but I need resources.
>>698795324
No. Am I going to need one? How common are PayPal accounts now?
>>698795362
I know I deserve it, but things are more complicated than that, though. It's not like I just lazily waited around, doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, smoking weed and playing some Xbox game in my bedroom all day. It wasn't like that at all.
>>698795447
>Apply for unemployment, apply for food stamps, get food from food bank, all while trying to get a job.
That is the plan right now.
>You could provably convince her to let you stay longer and --
Nope. She's absolutely dead-set on what's happening. Will not budge.
>I have to ask, how did you get so far gone?
Things spiraled downward rather quickly a few years ago and only got worse from there.
>Is this whole thread billshit or do you seriously have no ambition whatsoever?
I have no goals. I don't know what I want to do. I honestly have no desire to keep living, but I'm really afraid of death, so I'm kind of stuck in limbo. I don't really want anything (except my guinea pigs. They've been gone for, what, 35 minutes and I already miss them.)
>>698795450
We live in an apartment. I said "house" because it's just shorter. I don't think she'll let me back in. She really hates me, and besides, I don't think it would be healthy for me to live here any longer, anyway.
>>698795478
I don't think she's appreciate it.
>>698795516
I want to but I'm terrified of death. I came close and pussied out every time.
>>698791950
you are me, but my dad got me a job in IT
I actually thank the Gods I didnt get stuck in your position.
You can start working at your local mcdonalds and get a shit apartment. You will pretty much make enough to pay the bills and thats it.
>>698796560
Can you do so for the OP to put him down?
>>698796639
Where you live bro?
>>698796484
You're born with the responsibility to be able to stand on your own two feet, without help from mommy and daddy in your fucking 20's. You're born with the responsibility to contribute to society. If you're severely mentally or physically handicapped, obviously this does not apply to you. If you are an able bodied person and don't fulfil the responsibilities I listed, then you're literal garbage and the world is better off without you.
>>698796639
Kik Thummper16
post pics of your mom
If you don't have an ID and stuff you should go to the EBT / SSI office and pretend to be mentally retarded
That would be your best bet. Your situation is unique & desperate enough you should qualify for a lot of stuff
But honestly you shouldnt leave until the cops come. Barricade yourself in there. Don't leave if she could lock you out. There is due process she has to follow to get you out.
Call her bluff. Copy the keys. Do what you need to do. Don't give up so easily. Lock her out then claim its your place. Tell her you're going to call the police on her and report she's been raping you. Get creative
>>698796820
Get mad, stay mad, and keep paying for my lifestyle while I enjoy absolutely none of those responsibilities you listed because they are, indeed, bullshit, and only your personal beliefs being pushed onto everyone else.
I have no responsibility to work, even if I am able to, as long as I can fake being disabled.
I have no responsibility to contribute to a society that I didn't want to live in, but now that I'm here I might as well make the best of it.
>>698796639
>I know I deserve it, but things are more complicated than that, though. It's not like I just lazily waited around, doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, smoking weed and playing some Xbox game in my bedroom all day. It wasn't like that at all.
Have you done drugs? Have people spread rumors about you?
>>698797062
You deserve to die you scum
>>698797053
this get the cops involved best case scenario she gets arrested worst case they gun you down and none of this shit will matter at that point. It's a win win dude go for it.
>>698795544
Typos are fine, as long as I understand what you're trying to say.
>>698795560
I'd probably be good at it, not going to lie to you.
>>698795575
Thanks for the advice. Sounds like that could be helpful.
>>698795654
Already tried multiple times. I can't bring myself to do it. I have nothing left and absolutely no will to live but I still can't do it. I'm a coward.
>>698795665
Yes. Please. What letter does my first name start with? What do I look like? Give me an indication that you know who I am.
>>698795669
This.
>>698795693
I don't know.
>>698795744
I already feel like a worthless sack of shit, I don't need you to help me feel even worse.
>>698795852
Thanks.
>>698795865
If I attempted suicide again I probably wouldn't stream it. If I fail, which I'm confident I would, my face would be all over the internet more or less and I would never be able to live it down. The shitshow would last for ages.
>>698795903
Thanks for the advice! Writing everything down.
>>698795943
g
>>698795968
I'd really rather not get into it.
>>698795974
Sufficient.
>>698796110
I knew a failed standup comedian once. She said going into comedy was the worst choice she'd ever made. Audiences can be rough. I don't know if I can handle that scale of rejection, even though I'm pretty used to it at this point.
>>698790127
OP, almost jealous of you man. Alot of times i wonder if i could get away with starting a new life with a new identity and new SSN. Id move out of state and find a new life. Something simple with a wife and daughter. Id stop smoking pot and continue working my life away. Maybe even get my degree.
Youve a clean slate, OP. There is literally NO WAY YOU CAN FUCK THIS UP. Brighten up, your life has just begun. Doesnt matter if youre twenty six. Youve officially opened the doors of life and its vast, man. It really is. Get excited for this, youre finally ready.
And before you know it, itll all be over.
But
The
Ride
Never
Ends,
Faggot.
1. Buy yourself a burner cellphone, a cheap shit pay as you go number so employers can contact you.
2. Public libraries usually offer free use of a computer, while you're homeless go in every day to access the internet and look for jobs
3. Find any charity stores in your area and ask if you can volunteer, a lot of these places are desperate for help and this will give you some shit to put on your CV, free coffee and biscuits and some contacts / possible friends, also if you find one that sells clothes and ask nicely they might let you wash your shit in the back, keep an eye out for any cheap old suits or smart clothes coming in and grab a presentable outfit, it'll probably look like shit but employers appreciate the effort of a shirt and tie at least.
4. Stock up on some basic toiletries, soap, deodorant, toothpaste and a toothbrush, keep yourself clean when approaching potential employers.
>>698797062
I really hope nigges tear your rectum off and junkies rape you till the point you die of Stds painfully. You dont deserve to breath
Is there something you're hiding OP? You've been acting like a faggot throughout the thread. You've also given the most vague answer to every question involving your current situation.
Can you at least fucking tell us how you got in your current position. Explain your relationship with your mom. How the fuck do you do nothing for so many years and have no friends or family or contacts or property or money or job or reason to live? What the fuck do you even fucking do all day?
And how the fuck do you drop out of high school? You didn't even bother trying to do anything all your life, what do you do all day, what reason do you have to live?
>>698795362
I'm not an asshole but I agree with this anon. Life is hard for everyone, really hard.
Very few people like going to work, but we do it because we have to in order to live. To not do so because of inertia, laziness, or fear, is soooo insulting to the person you live with.
I don't like getting up at buttfuck dawn and driving to work bleary eyed in my 100+ degree car, only to get home and be too tired to think or pursue my hobbies, but I do it because I don't want to be you. That's where the anger in this thread is coming from. It's just as hard for everyone else.
Silly ol'kurt kurt
>>698797230
>>698797358
Keep crying faggots. Cry all the way to your shit job and cry all the way home knowing that you're paying my bills.
>>698796639
You still haven't really answered the question as to how things got so bad. Do you have any mental issues, suspected or diagnosed? I feel similar to you. I have no desire to keep living, but I don't want to die either. Mostly because my family would be crushed if I popped my own death cherry, but also because I'm afriad that suicides end up in hell or something similar. My motivation to keep going stems from pure anger, Im pissed off that I can't enjoy life, and I want to fight back. Fight back against the shitty universe who tried to make me another suicide statistic. Maybe try turning your sadness and emptyness into hatred for failure, it worked for me. But as a result I find myself as a very violent and angry person. Better red then dead.
>>698796175
It helps to know you've been in this kind of situation before, really.
>>698796376
Believe it or not, most people in this thread really are helping a lot. Or, at least, I think so.
>>698796520
Nobody is ever going to want me.
>>698795903
You're a good person but I'm afraid the energy and effort used to type this will be wasted and awashed with excuses. Ashame, your response is the total of what op needs to hear, nothing more.
>>698797309
>Yes. Please. What letter does my first name start with? What do I look like? Give me an indication that you know who I am.
An "E" or an "L"? But being "anonymous" ensures you will not confirm it anyway, so...why bother? Are you gonna send a hit squad now? >>698796159
>>698796560
(If the same anon)
>>698797062
and that's why you have a pathetic life.
>>698797400
Please answer my questions OP.
>>698797309
you are born a loser, and you will die a winner
exercise, diet, sunlight, shed material things and overstimulation from modern day technology (gtfo of 4chan and read a book), social interaction
these are the things that WILL without any shadow of a doubt make you a happy and successful person when fully utilized together
if you are too weak to perform these basic evolutionary tasks then you are the weak gene that will be expelled from the gene pool in the process of social darwinism
Alright faggot, you're lazy and you suck at adapting to change so listen to me carefully. Get a job. Go to a library and spam craigslist with emails and copy pasted resumes. Get the job. Get paid once and then immediately go to a gym and buy a membership. Now you have showers so you aren't disgusting. Now go in the woods behind the gym and eat trash food and just survive. Stop being a bitch, you can survive in modern society. Save up enough for a car. Car and gym membership and now you can start saving for an apartment. Craigslist an apartment or move in with some fb friends and start working on credit. Good luck out there you raging homosexual.
>>698796820
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c
>>698797497
Post creepy shots of her and i pay you 100 bucks via paypal
>>698797062
you're absolutely correct, you just have to know that it was your own decision to be "an outcast"
>>698796560
By being on this thread, responding to your b8 (bait) or being alive? What could you mean, anon?
>>698791950
You fucked up. And i thought my life was unstable lmao. Good look getting out of the shithole
>>698797615
Copypasta confirmed. I have read this before on a different imageboard.
>>698797552
My life is likely better than yours even if I make less money.
>>698790127
Rape your mother you'll have a place to live then
>>698797062
If you want to be a welfare leech for life, then that's your own prerogative. I'll be over here, making something of my life and making my family proud. I wonder which one of us will regret the way we lived when we're 90.
>>698797497
Will it help more if I tell you I haven't been homeless in 9 years?
It took a lot of work, and a lot of walking.Being homeless only comes to define you if you do nothing, man.
>>698797400
seconding these questions. your shady backstory and vague excuses are probably the real problem, and we can't help you without knowing that. it's /b/, what are you afraid of
>>698795784
You can do both of those things at Jobcorps.
>>698795575
It's corps, not core. Fucking idiot.
>>698797309
You use yo dick on anyone mane?
>>698797740
please tell me how it's better ?
>>698797754
>I'll be over here, wagecucking and making my nonexistent family proud.
>>698797725
A-to-the-fucking-men
>>698797309
Yeah also you can live onsite at jibcore.
Its fir young adults 16-24 so youve still got time. But this is all just stuff i read off of the website. Which state/city/country you in op?
>>698790127
1) ask your mom if you can stay as long as you finish HS
2) once done get a DL during school (also get a part time job)
3) enlist in the military and you're out of your moms hair choose a decent MOS recruiters will try to fuck you over by saying being a cook or some shit is in high demand or a 100% guarantee
>>698790127
30 is a decent age. But by the time you're going to get done working and finishing up high school you're going to be pretty damn old.
>suicide is always an option
>>698797812
no job, no kids, no gf, no worries, free living
always
also my parents are millionares so..
>>698796813
Phoenix.
>>698797210
>Have you done drugs?
No.
>Have people spread rumors about you?
Once in high school one guy spread a rumor that I was gay and that I have AIDS. But not since then, no. There are worse things that could happen, and there are worse things that have happened.
>>698797335
You're fucking JEALOUS OF ME? What the fuck? Are you serious? This isn't some indie movie where a guy drops everything and gets in his 96 Buick and drives across the god damned country, taking Polaroid photos of nature and beautiful scenery and shit. How the fuck do you think I can be an optimist about this? For the next few years it'll be a miracle if I'm still alive. I'm terrified. I'm stuck in a cloud of unknowing.
>>698797484
I really don't want to get into specifics about how exactly things got so bad. Shit went down. Wasn't pretty.
>>698797812
>Wake up whenever I want
>Do whatever I want
>No obligations
>No responsibilities
If I feel like watching anime all day, any day of the week, I can, and nothing will happen. I am completely free.
>>698797754
>Regret the way we lived at 90
Probably you, except it will be more like 70 when you die from countless hours spent sitting at a desk working a job you hate.
>>698797735
Are you retarded? I actually took the time to type something helpful and you accuse me of pasta? Alright anon, leave your email and I'll let you know when I discover the cure to autism.
>>698797896
4/10 bait.
Would not reply again.
>>698797782
Oh whatever you know what i mean. Idiot
>>698796560
Answer this
>>698797723
>>698797896
>wagecucking
You for real right now? Thats your excuse to not have a job?
>>698798057
Wow, well if that's all it takes to make you happy im glad you managed to find your niche.
>>698792388
Thanks anon, not too many are cool with chilling their nerves and helping out for once. People like you is what makes this place redeemable.
>>698798130
not so much b8 as actual fact, you work hard to live like me
yeah, I got lucky. so what? you were lucky to, in a different way. life is easy if you want it to be, you're the only one who makes it hard.
>>698798056
Phoenix is hot as shit. You always lived in Phoenix bro? You got friends in other states?
>>698798248
yeah, wagecuck honor is so 1950s.
what's the point?
how are you using a computer? and how did you find 4chan...smell like bs to me
>>698790127
Maybe you should have listened to her when she told your sorry ass to get a job. Go apply at a fast food place, get a low income apartment (probly a nigger neighblrhood so learn ebonics get a bus pass and work your ass to the top faggot
>>698798057
> sitting at a desk
kek
I'm not a fucking telemarketer bro.
Good night OP. The only way out of this is hard work. It is possible, but it won't be easy. Instead of panicking, mentally prepare yourself for the hardship you're about to endure. Realize that you can take it if you have to. Good luck.
>>698790127
murder your mother and live in her house
>>698798056
all right, if you don't want to tell us about your life and be interesting i'm out. good luck op. try to spend more hours of the day doing what you DON'T want to do, than hours of the day doing what you DO want to to do.
i work from home and that self-promise helps me keep semi-productive and semi-disciplined even though I'm a lazy procrastinator. And no cheats like, 'i don't want to be at this homeless shelter and i was here all day.' has to be actions toward your goals like craigslisting for job interviews or working.
If your first instinct was to ask 4chan for help I'm afraid you're too far gone my friend.
>>698798255
The only thing I can't do is travel, and I really have no interest in that anyway. Anything you do for leisure or enjoyment I can do without having to worry about things like "being tired at work tomorrow" or "having to wake up at 6am to get to work on time."
>>698798056
r u fat?
>>698798439
>He thinks his life is better based on some outdated sense of honor when he works fucking manual labor
>>698797501
>being "anonymous" ensures you will not confirm it anyway, so...why bother?
Why would you say you know who I am, if you obviously don't?
>>698797400
>Can you at least fucking tell us how you got in your current position.
My mother and I reached a boiling point and she wants nothing to do with me anymore. She was in the middle of listing reasons why I'm nothing but a burden to her when it kind of clicked in her head that since I'm nothing but a burden to her, I shouldn't live with her anymore. She said she wanted me out of the house and that was that. She told me I'm not her son anymore and went straight to her bedroom and locked the door. She's giving me the silent treatment and only comes out of her room for things that are absolutely necessary.
>Explain your relationship with your mom.
Sour. Distant. Cold. She was wildly abusive but that's no longer the case.
>How the fuck do you do nothing for so many years and have no friends or family or contacts or property or money or job or reason to live?
I don't know...I fucked up my life and now I have nothing.
>What the fuck do you even fucking do all day?
Wait for the next day to come, wait for death, existential crisis, crying, blah blah blah you know the drill.
>>698798056
http://www.cassaz.org/
Central Arizona Shelter Services
230 S. 12th Ave., Phoenix, AZ 85007
(602) 256-6945
They look like they help people get employed and work toward self reliance, I'd send a helpline there way, if for nothing else than the heat relief program they mention on the site, Phoenix is wicked hot, man.
Maybe florida isn't as hot, but it nearly cooked my cracker ass.
Kill your mom, make it looks like an accident. You are the only one on your family, inherit all. Think about it op. Then you Will have a story to tell.
>>698798248
Yeah I kek'd pretty hard at that. It's probably b8, but it's sad to think that a lot of people actually think this way. As if hard work is something unique to the modern generation.
what did you do to have this come about?
Aside from leeching because this seems a little drastic for ONLY being a lazy fucking bum.
>>698793077
I mean, high school was like 8 years ago dude. If 15 year-old little shits can learn while doing school in 1 year, 8 years with nothing going on is pretty manageable.
>>698790127
Bait. For a person with no education, you have impeccable spelling and grammar.
>>698798623
Good find.
>>698798056
Yes, im jealous of you. Did you read far enough to hear me out? You have a clean slate. Nothing but good can come of your situation from there. Youre quite literally rock bottom. I for one have plenty to lose and everything is shaky as is in my life. You say youre stuck in a cloud of unknowing, well you know what is certain right now; youre homeless and jobless with nothing under your belt. You basically get a sense of rebirth. You can mold it into whatever your fucking heart desires. You could end up a famous actor for all you know. It all matters on your decisions from here on out.
OP, I only tell you this because im struggling to fight pessimism on a daily basis. I regret and regret and regret until theres nothing i can do about it. You dont have to regret anything anymore. Do not live in fear, youll jetlag yourself until your life is over. Chase every single dream you have and dont give a shit what anyone thinks about it.
>>698798248
I would rather be homeless and not wagecucking than work minimum wage and still be homeless.
>>698798606
>Why would you say you know who I am, if you obviously don't?
Give me a "D"!
For the death of me!!!!!
>>698798697
I'm guessing autocorrect had a hand in that.
>>698798790
I'll give you the "D" baby.
>>698798490
are you the one who said your parents are millionaires? of course you have a great lifestyle. everyone would be you and not work if they could.
Aristotle would say that you should work toward your own virtuous goals and hobbies in order to achieve the most satisfying happiness, or eudaimonia. You don't have to be a wageslave, but you should have something that brings you pleasure and requires hard work. If I won the lottery I'd start a board game company, work every day in my garden, make and sell cool shit on Etsy, have a Youtube channel talking about all the shit I like, etc.
Not saying you don't do any of that; you sound pretty well-satisfied so I imagine you have virtuous hobbies already. just rambling because it's late and I'm drunk. cheers to ya mate, may your lifestyle be mine someday as a result of my own hard work
>>698798490
Bro im not arguing, if it takes so little to make you happy then by all means go with it, you're a lucky bastard actually to have things so simple im not trying to insult you the lack of ambition, greed and pride would probably be the easiest road to happiness.
just kill yourself idfk
You don't have nothing to lo ose, you lost everything. Make something histórica right the fucking now
>>698798768
>>698798848
No homo, OK? DO NOT swing that way, all right?!
I can't offer a lot in the way of financial help, but I've been in a very similar situation and can relate a lot OP, if you want a pal to talk to I would be totally willing to email or exchange skypes or something
>>698798737
ty, I'm the guy that suggested talkatone, having lived this shit, I'm here to help OP get to whatever step one actually happens to be.
>>698798606
OP, I will have a burn address up for a bit if you want to chat if the thread dies.
[email protected]
>>698798930
>pic
Ayy lmao
>>698798994
You fraud!
>>698798829
autocorrect adds commas after "apparently"?
>>698798768
Or work for a decent career and never be homeless
>>698798606
Tbh fam Im getting some motivation from this thread. One thing Id like to add that Im not hearing from anyone is this: Talk to your mom, tell her you are sorry for being a burden and that you accept her terms and are working to do carrying them out. Leave it there if nothing else. It may not change anything and it may not even help but its not gonna hurt and you will have to do what you have to anyway. Thats your mom, bruh, keeping a respectful relationship will help your psychology even if theres no love. You need to break that ice before you go. For yourself at least. Good luck
>>69879805
>>698798564
THE GUY ASKED HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGHT OP? Be a good little nigger and answer the question, cuz I bet you're a fat nigger
>>698799051
Nope. I was guessing. Bad guess.
>>698799036
whatever, believe me or not, that's kinda the thing about being anon, isn't it?
Could've used a unique ID from the start, but honestly thought I would dip.
Pay it forward said I should stay.
>>698797761
That gives me some hope. I hate walking.
>>698797803
No, not yet. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I am a complete recluse. No one is ever going to want me. I'd be lucky if anyone really even knew who I am. I am completely alone.
>>698798374
I originally lived in Philadelphia and we moved to Phoenix when I was 14. I miss Philadelphia a lot.
>You got friends in other states?
No. None. Alone.
>>698798564
I weigh 250. I'm 6'1.
Sell your body to some sick millionari gay bastard, Sell your ass on b dude.
>>698799179
I disagree, I think his mom sounds toxic and continuing to live at home will be too 'easy' and he'll slide back in to his previous lifestyle. I think this major, rock bottom change is needed for him to have lasting positive changes in his life.
>>698799051
you should have called out the emdash usage.
Also not graduating high school doesn't mean someone is fucking illiterate and retarded.
>>698799240
Hopefully you die very very soon
scum
>>698799240
Why don't you do hired hits for a living, OP?
>>698799179
Don't do this OP you don't have time to waste on people that hate you. She is done with your relationship it's time to move on.
>>698790127
Since you're 26 and had no job experience, you can try working at some McDonald's or a movie theather (the paid may be pretty shitty but it's something) and try to convince your mom to rent your room before she sells everything you "own", save money for said rent and finishing high school, then look for a better job
>>698794260
You could possibly buy yourself another month or so requiring that she come up with legal eviction papers. States have laws you know. Just don't waste that time lolly gaggin around.
>>698795852
Copied and pasted. This is the rest of my 2016. Thanks.
>>698799164
>Wageslave
>Decent career
Pick one and only one.
Decent career means school—trade or traditional—or having some kind of skills. You can't do any of this if you're homeless or poor (usually).
start doing heroin, junkies know how to find money
>>698795938
>no one asks to exist
Well guess what you do and if you're shitty the rest of us have to deal with your shit. Which we didn't ask for.
Stupid brat.
>>698799240
>You could possibly buy yourself another month or so requiring that she come up with legal eviction papers. States have laws you know. Just don't waste that time lolly gaggin around.
This, 100% this. And contact those people from shelters and programs and explain the situation.
Now is the time to learn some networking, and these people can help you figure out how to get that going, they are often times more than happy to help with a resume, or other job building skills.
>>698796035
>go fuck yourself up mentally when your environment is crumbling.
The pearls you faggots come up with in the morning.
>>698799240
That's super unfortunate about not having out of state friends. I ended up needing a fresh start in a new state to help me get back on my feet. Was hoping for the same for you.
>>698799240
> 250 at 6'1
You're fat as fuck. Get in shape, eat a high protein diet. Lots of fish and vegetables, you can get cans of tuna relatively cheap and tons of fruits and veggies from the food bank. Canned food is sometimes high in protein too. Make sure you exercise too, or you'll just get worse. Who knows, maybe you'll get hot enough that some chick will be willing to take care of you. Sounds impossible to you, I know, but a lot of chicks are immature and looking for broken men to fix. Either way, be fit.
>>698799240
there's nothing wrong with being a recluse op. i am a recluse; i leave the house once a week for groceries and that's only because amazon prime doesn't deliver everything i like yet...i work from home, own my home, and am independent.
i'm a freelance programmer. do you know any languages or have technical skills? people are desperate for coders right now and will hire you regardless of education as long as you can do the work. pays GREAT once you have some experience, too.
I realize you have immediate problems and that this advice isn't helpful now, but it could be a good long term goal for you. you sound a bit like me, except I'm a slytherin and have ambition/pride/shame and you don't seem to have any of those
>>698799920
Told ya, he's a black nigger. I'll have him arrested.
>>698796366
>take your mother to small claims court for your naughty anime figures
I want to make fun of this but I can see it happening.
>>698799696
I have to deal with your ugly cunt face, so I'd say were even.
Last ditch option hurt yourself, smash up your face a bit, break a couple fingers, dump boiling hot water on one hand, then contact a rape survivors help group claim your mom was abusing you at a young age. tell them she used to pimp you out to strange men fro drugs, that your uncle would come round and film himself ass fucking you etc
go to the police explain what's going on, tell them you recently told her no, and she freaked out and hit you, tortured you and you just can't take it any more.
You definetly need some guidance, structure and discipline imposed upon you. But since the military is not an option I suggest you become a mormon, Jehovas whittnes or join some other church. Im an atheist and id never thought I recomend that to anyone, but I honestly think you will end up dead not far from now. In a church you have a community who looks out and helps you. They may maniplulate you, but maybe they get you to a point where you can actually function as a human in your society. And while other anons gave good advice, I don't think it will help you very much because you lack any sense of willingness to work. Your mom has actually done you a favor and should have throwen you out years ago. Just imagin what you could have achived if your mom had kicked you out when you were 20.
>>698799561
I wasn't talking about OP's situation, I meant people in general.
>>698799920
this guy is going to be living in a homeless shelter and you're telling him to eat protein? fish and vegetables? he's lucky if he gets soup at this poitn in his life. your advice is terrible in this case. top kek
>>698798697
Read the thread. I said I used to excel academically at one point. I used to read a lot. I was considered 'gifted' in elementary school. (And look what I've done with that.)
I'm not dumb, I just dropped out. There's a difference. Read the thread.
>>698798623
Thanks. Phoenix is hot but it's not as humid as Philly or Florida, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>698798766
I guess that's an optimistic way of looking at it. Michael Gira dropped out and was homeless for a really long time, and had a lot of weird, shitty jobs and look where he is now. I apologize for snapping at you. You're actually helping. I wish I could just unhinge enough to be happy and not care about anything anymore.
>>698799179
I'll try talking tomorrow. She's too heated right now.
>>698799972
What mediums are you using to reach your employers? Or do they just know where to find you?
>>698799240
I live in San Diego dude, most of my friends are online anyhow, I'll be your friend
>>698799696
>Everyone else has to deal with you
No you don't. You just have to give me money in the form of taxes. You'll never deal with me in any other way.
It's the price you pay for enjoying the benefits of this country.
>>698790127
Where are you OP? You can come live at my place until you find a job if you're close. It's a shitty small apartment and what I do for a living is not legal. I might get v&. I live in a poor neighborhood. Woman upstairs is a white trash whore who screams a lot.
Ground rules:
1) Video games are played on the play station in the living room only. Fuck up my PS4 and I'll have your balls.
2) We use GNU/Linux or OpenBSD in my house. I'm not going to have windows fucking me over again. Don't like it? Stop being tech illiterate.
3) Clean up after yourself. I'm not your goddamn maid.
4) Respect my pussy. He's my only friend.
5) All calls are made from prepaid phones that I buy from wallmart. No iOS devices allowed. When not in use phones go in airplane mode with bluetooth off.
6) Tell anyone what I'm doing and I will kill you or find someone who will.
Welcome to my house OP.
>>698800093
>>698800194
and now michael's a rapist
>>698791950
Let me guess, American?
>>698800103
lmfao this advice ahah
Why is everyone trying to help a soon to be dead fat nigger ?
>>698800155
He should move to Canada. Cuckdeau will probably have the shelters serving gourmet feasts under the guise of multicultural enrichment.
>>698798646
Holy fuck... This. I agree if she's just gonna say you're not her son anymore and literally just give up on you then kill her
>>698797062
>I have no responsibility as long as I can cheat.
So cain is your family name huh?
>making the best of it
>doing the exact opposite of what your body is designed to accomplish
You seem like a smart person.
>>698800239
Hot damn. I'm not even OP and I want to live with you.
>>698800155
That's why I told him how to get tuna and vegetables cheap, dumbass. He has to eat no matter what. Chowing down on garbage food isn't worth the money you save. It is very possible to eat healthy even if you're poor.
>>698790127
>>698800103
This may seem fucked, but I agree to a certain extent.
Whenever my brother used to decide to be a dick to me (As siblings do), but went a bit too farm I realised that bashing my head into the nearest wall got him to back off in a "Holy fucking shit dude seriously what the fuck" way.
I dunno, maybe this'll help you?
>>698800194
Is your mom decent looking? How old? Maybe I can fuck her for you and get her to change her mind.
>>698800489
>Implying you hunt animals by chasing them for hours until they fall asleep or collapse from exhaustion like your body was naturally designed to accomplish
You sound like a smart person desu.
>>698790127
Bro in the same situation but im 18 and not getting kicked out, glhf brah should of got your ged or atlest fucked an ugly bitch fr. And if you send yourself mail you can legaly extend your stay because she needs to give you like 30 days to change your mail address.
>>698800599
he should eat himself
>>698800380
>Mother of a single child died
>Child get house and doesn't have to live on the streets
I'm no detective but I spot motives for days.
>>698800239
>2) We use GNU/Linux or OpenBSD in my house. I'm not going to have windows fucking me over again. Don't like it? Stop being tech illiterate.
>5) All calls are made from prepaid phones that I buy from wallmart. No iOS devices allowed. When not in use phones go in airplane mode with bluetooth off.
If I personally was in OP's position I would haul ass your way and hopefully learn something cool and evade prison.
SQL injection isn't that hard, amirite?
>>698797725
>Underrated comment
I thought I was shit for renting from my parents in my 20s.
>>698800234
He'd be paying the same taxes whether you exist or not.
I would start working towards your GED
I think some places offer it for free with government help. After that I would join the marines or something. You can be a cook or a janitor for them.
Maximum age to enlist is 42 legally. Most cap at 35.
>>698800687
I'd say good luck OP but luck isn't what you need. Hope you find some motivation to turn your life around. The best changes in our lives usually come from shit hitting the fan harder than it ever has before.
If you've got 3 days left and you've already done the essentials people listed in this thread, maybe read some philosophy online. Might give you a reason to live and succeed.
>>698800599
Fuck off back to /fit/ retard. The guy is about to be homeless and you're telling him to focus on lifting weights.
I know you hate fat people and want to genocide them all but it really doesn't matter right now if OP eats Tuna or Mac and cheese.
>>698790127
What happened that she finally decided to kick you out?
>>698800489
>So cain is your family name huh?
Maybe if he'd had the cane earlier in life, he wouldn't have been so apathetic to his own well being.
>>698799255
Anyone who pays any money for my body has been ripped off regardless of how much they paid. In all seriousness, yeah, I would be OK with having a rich sugar daddy or whatever but I don't think I'll be getting any takers any time soon.
I'd be one good hoe, though. Ugly bitches give the best sex, you know. So grateful to have you. So present.
Not that I would know.
>>698799333
I'm conflicted on this. I know for a fact that my mom is toxic but I'm looking at her via rose-colored lenses. She's family, after all, and my only family member at that.
>>698799408
Me too.
>>698799441
I'd be caught after my first attempted kill. Hell, I'd get caught after putting up ads.
>>698799518
That's my ideal start. I'll start looking for jobs of those nature.
>>698799544
>>698799792
Can I do this? Seems reasonable.
>>698799917
Yeah. What can you do, though.
>>698799920
Uh...yeah...no. I won't be able to afford any of that any time soon.
>>698800328
Because it's the most interesting thread on /b tonight
>>698799972
the internet? anywhere you look on job postings, there are 3-4 postings for coders or 'app developers'. craigslist, especially nationwide craigslist searches, are my favorite because there is less bullshit. there's a lot of garbage and a lot of time-wasters who have no idea about the scope/cost of their project, but every once in a while you find a good one, and every once in a while is good enough for me, as single projects can last quite a while, obviously. dice is good, much higher quality leads, but a lot of the stuff there is form-submitted and that's annoying.
there is also repeat clients and referrals, of course. the good thign about freelancing is you can choose to decline if they want to work with you again and you hated them.
the ideal job for me would be working for one place, from home, but I haven't found the right fit yet. seems like most people want you to start out in the office first and i'm not willing to do that again yet. so far I haven't had any major gaps or problems.
>>698800721
Then I guess he should stop bitching about leeches, shouldn't he?
>>698796175
>>698797497
Google Voice is actually better [than strictly Talkatone]. Free everything, phone #, incoming/outgoing, texting, multimedia, and integration with Android native phone, messaging, and voicemail apps. You can forward your calls to an app like Talkatone or Mo+, and use Voice+ callback to route an outgoing call as an incoming call to your calling app.
tl;dr - GV + Talkatone + Voice+ = Fully-functional free Wi-Fi phone.
It saved me from homelessness just this last fall, actually. Was staying in an emergency housing program (shelter), and then a Christian nurse's home. Phone got me a job as an engineer, and now I live in a condo downtown. I've been using it off and on for 4 years, and when it wasn't my primary cell, it was the perfect secondary throwaway number.
But yes, my primary cell is now a government-issued Android tracfone. Not having to be on Wi-Fi in order to correspond is going to be invaluable. Look for government programs like iWireless and the like.
>>698801035
I would rather sleep in a gutter than under the same roof as someone who says GNU SLASH LINUX.
>>698801059
>draw the rest of the fucking owl
>>698800218
I replied to this in the wrong place, i am a fag
>>698800889
>>698800687
OR
>abusive pimp mother's basement whore son finally escaped from his shackles
>murders mother in self defense and escapes house of horrors
He'll need a lot of bruises and semen in his ass to make it believable.
Also secretly build a torture chamber in basement.
Then call cops after mum is dead and tell cops story. You're welcome OP.
>>698800846
>I'd be caught after my first attempted kill. Hell, I'd get caught after putting up ads.
I could be your first. How about it, OP?
>>698800846
>Can I do this? Seems reasonable.
If she is going to evict you, and has threatened to call the cops, the cops will tell her that she is required to give you a specific amount of notice, and then a legal preceding (if you really decide to burn that bridge).
Only attempt this route if you are going to get in contact with people for your impending eviction prep plan, start putting feet to the pavement tomorrow for opportunities and job applications, the faster you can get paychecks, the faster you can save up enough to never have to be in a shelter in the first place.
It's gonna be hard, but when you do get a job, I don't care if they tell you to clean out an exploded toilet, or scrape tampons off the ceiling, you do it, at least until you can find better, and it's easier to get a job, when you already have one.
>>698801329
I'm hard
>>698801151
>literally being kicked out of house with no place to live
>wont go live with someone for free and get life sorted out because of the OS they use
Well the future isn't very bright for you OP
>>698801395
wet
>>698790127
Get to a shelter, tell them your situation and ask what services exist. You should be excited op. Golden opportunity to sort your life out and get the foot up your ass you've needed for so long.
>>698800194
Now is the time to unhinge if youre gonna do it. Thing is, you have to fall through with it.
God speed. I have to sleep now. I have work in the afternoon.
P.S. go to a staffing agency. Gaurenteed to get you a good paying job for you. Itll be hard work but you could get a $10/$11 an hour job working factory. Thats what i did and im nineteen with a diploma and food service background, nothing else. Ill be moving away from my parents within three months of getting this job and thats prior to having $33 and some change in my checking. Its never as hard as it looks, OP. Apply yourself and youll go far. Dig deep for motivation when there isnt any. Absorb the high that life gives you from success. These are all the best tips i can give to you. Best of luck.
OP here, I've decided to end it. There's just no hope for me. I'll post a link with a stream tomorrow. Wait for it.
>>698801151
to be fair, he didn't verbally say "GNU SLASH LINUX" he merely typed it out as "GNU/Linux"
you can't just say linux, because linux is just a kernel, the GNU part is the other software that makes it do the things you expect a computer to actually do.
>>698800635
>implying you're supposed to move vs. sit on your ass to live well and that sins of the flesh always reflect in the physical world.
I was 12 once, desu.
>>698801490
Sauce?
>>698801494
OP has consistently linked and replied to several people all thread.
You suck at impersonations.
>>698800224
I'll be honest with you; I don't know if I could be your friend. I can't hold a conversation with anyone. Everything feels like small-talk. I could pretend for a while, but I think we would just stop talking after a few months. That's how it always ends.
>>698800239
If you're being serious, I would very much love to live with you! I fit all of the qualifications. But you're probably joking, right?
I would suck your dick all day if I had to. No hesitation.
>>698800266
No, he's not. He didn't do it. It's obvious that he didn't do it. Larkin is lying and nobody believes her. She has accused like 8 other men of sexually assaulting her, all of whom are men who have ceased work with her. Her story doesn't add up, her behavior is suspicious, and Michael's alibi is air-tight.
>>698800272
Yes. Why?
>>698800328
Why does everyone think I'm black?
>>698800607
I don't know if I could live with myself if I put her through that.
>>698800687
This.
>>698800819
She came home very angry yesterday and yelled at me for 30 minutes, slapped me around a little, threw me into walls, onto the ground, kicked me, etc etc. It's not as bad as it sounds, her kicks weren't very strong. I don't even have any bruises.
Well OP you've failed spectacularly.
Congrats I suppose.
At least you haven't gotten anyone knocked up.
>>698801151
GANOO+LOONUX fag here and I thought I was autistic. Lmao dude. Offer still stands.
>>698800811
He's depresses and has no reason for living. Not only is exercise extremely good for your mental state, an attractive body will likely get him some attention from women, both of which would be very helpful in boosting motivation. You realize you only need to exercise for 60-90 mins a day right? He'll have plenty of time to do everything else he needs to do. Eating healthy and keeping fitness in mind is never a bad idea. It will improve all aspects of his life. I'm not saying he needs to be a fucking protein junkie meathead, it isn't that hard to stay fit.
>>698801432
I didn't say I wouldn't live with someone who uses a Linux distribution. I said I would rather sleep in a gutter than live with someone who refers to it as GNU SLASH LINUX.
>>698801522
Linux distribution. Fuck Stallman and his toe fungus.
>>698801059
Not OP but,sound advice, thanks for the supplemental chime in!
Certainly expands the talkatone and government phone idea for op.
Last attempt? What you're best at.
If it's creative, do it on the streets. Musician? Try your luck, it's all you got, and you can 100% yourself into it. Painting? idk
Non-creative? Find a way to make it interesting. Make YouTube videos via Maccas wifi or something. Stupid decision, but it's a last resort.
>>698801550
>damage control and talking about sins
1/10 here's your reply desu
>>698801716
Is GNU+Linux acceptable?
>>698800846
You can't afford fucking free food from the fucking food bank? Re-read the post please. Also if you're a recluse with no ability to drive, how would you know how much shit costs? Give it a shot at least.
>>698801630
get some fucking self-confidence. if that's impossible at least stop letting everyone know you hate yourself.
how many times have you mentioned being ugly, asocial, or incompetent? do you think you can pass an interview with that attitude?
Gonna let you know you're a faggot before thread end OP. You started out okay but we're obviously getting a one sided story and you seem childish as hell.
Can't get many jobs without accountability
>>698801630
because your behavior is in line with poor blacks in the South and the urban poor blacks elsewhere in the US. It's not their skincolor, it's a certain pervasive subculture among some/most blacks. They don't want to work but you want food, shelter, internet. they thing they're entitled to it. Just like you. I live in Detroit and this kind of behavior makes me rage. I don't like working. No one does. get over yourself and do what you have to do.
>>698801490
I second this. Staffing agencies are a guaranteed job. Most of them want you as temp-to-hire, as well. You may very well find your calling, maybe end up in a managerial position doing so.
>>698790127
I guess self-suicide is the only thing left.
>>698801630
>you're probably joking, right?
No. Where are you OP?
>I would suck your dick all day if I had to. No hesitation.
No thanks.
>>698801659
>muh armchair psychiatry
>muh exercise is the cure to everything
>muh dik
Fuck. Off. Back. To. /fit/.
>>698801960
he said phoenix
>>698801807
>assertions and ironic narration
Must be fun being ignorant.
>>698801554
Fuck man, i got nothin. Reversed and used saucenao. You can have keep it tho
>>698801861
If he's incapable of passing an interview he's eligible for disability income and all his problems are solved.
>>698801716
I don't think it's relevant at this point... You need to get your life together and someone is offering you a free place to live and you turn it down.... You see OP you can't get anywhere in life unless you take advantage of ANY opportunities. But hell you're 26 and have no job experience... Can't say I'm surprised that you're this much of a beta.
>>698801630
Do you have an email OP? Skype or something? I'll add you and talk anyhow, we can see what happens dude, everyone needs a friend
>>698801630
Answer please>>698795436
>>698802010
Yeah, I'm almost 2000 miles away.
Sorry OP.
>>698801659
i just hope to jesus you're a troll. god, what a fucking backwards meathead you are. i'm fit and a big believer in eating healthy but this guy can barely wipe his own ass. he is so far from even thinking about healthy eating.
let's remove his head from his asshole before we start trying to feed him lean proteins. your advice is all good but not in this case, not for this person.
>>698801976
Wow you make a lot of intelligent points. Good job on that post anon.
>>698801659
What if his circumstances don't give him the motivation he would need to do that?
>>698790127
Here's what you do op
>find an homeless shelter
>steal food in supermarket (the kind that can be eaten a while later)
>get in jail when you get caught
>free food
once you're out you can start over
>>698802105
>Says "the exact opposite of what your body was designed to do"
>Implies that the body was designed to wageslave and not sit around
>Confronted with the fact that the body was actually designed to hunt animals by running long distances better than any other animal
>Moves the goalposts and controls damage
>Ad hominem
Choose your words more carefully desu
>>698801861
You're right, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
>>698801938
I don't know what to say to that.
>>698801960
Phoenix, Arizona. Chrome OS is a Linux distro, is that acceptable? I'm already using that. And I don't have any iOS devices.
Also, are you absolutely sure you don't want me to blow you as a token of appreciation? I've been practicing on bananas for years, I know a lot of tricks. I mean, if you want to turn that down, that's fine, but you're missing out.
>>698790127
>get money
>offer to pay her money to pay for rent and to attempt to pay her retroactively
>she takes money
>still tries to evict
>has to now give 30 days notice
>you literally bought some more time
>>698802243
I guess you're right. I did get a bit ahead of myself.
>>698802329
>I've been practicing on bananas for years
epic troll confirmed
>>698802197
...oh.
>>698802197
Ffs i wish i wasnt broke. If there was ever i time i wanted to donate to someone on 4chan its right now. I wouldnt be able to afford a plane ticket but like at least enough to bus your way cross country.
Not the pheonix fag but i wish that couldve worked out in your favor.
>>698802312
Don't fucking do this.
>>698802430
It's a joke, calm down.
>>698802477
you were right when you said you shouldn't go into stand-up
I mean really you're just scum of society. Literally giving nothing to anyone by existing. Your existence itself is causing struggle for everyone
>>698802451
seconded
>>698802154
programmer recluse here, not everyone needs friends, stop putting your own personality type's needs and desires on to others. i have 1001 hobbies that keep me excited and motivated for each new day. none of them involve people, except maybe vidya and 4chan, but those are people i can turn off when i don't want to talk to them anymore, which is a must for me.
>>698802318
>the body was designed to run long distances
That doesn't sound true... Where did you get that information? I always thought we used strength in numbers and intelligence for tools like spears. Not that anon by the way
Go to a large city. Do street pick-up. Go to women appartement for fucking sleeping showering and eating. Repeat. Get good at game. Become an rsd instructor. Get money...
https://youtu.be/bmav517MQJc
>>698802271
When you say get fit, you immediately start talking about autistically managing macronutrient intake and diet. This implies that you don't mean become physically fit, but to build muscle mass. These aren't the same thing, and building muscle mass in the way I'm sure you're suggesting requires dedication that OP doesn't have.
Regardless of that, he's going to be fucking homeless. Are you soft in the head? Do you not know what that means? Managing protein intake and a weight routine should be the last fucking thing on his mind.
This is why /fit/ is notorious for being retarded.
>>698802547
Well...it is providing mild entertainment value. So there's that.
>>698802547
Now Thats What I Call EDGY.
>>698802545
I know, some people just aren't funny. I'm one of those people. Whenever I try to make people laugh I just embarrass myself. Sorry.
>>698802547
You haven't said anything new. I know all of this.
>>698790127
>>698802312
>she wants nothing to do with me from here out
okay forget the advice op, better keep a spare key of her home and fuck her shit when she's away, steal everything you can to pay a rent for a few months so you can live through the job finding process
>>698801630
If you want us to help you, drum up some empathy with a picture of yourself.
It'll incline more people to wanna try to help you.
It'll also incline people to be what they be on 4chan, so ignore that.
>>698802588
Good thing I wasn't talking to you then
>>698801943
No license. Most require that
>>698802329
>>698802436
>blow you as a token of appreciation
>practicing on bananas for years
You're starting to give me the creepy crawlies and I've seen and done some shit. Maybe it's best you stay on the other side of the country. Go become another Steve Jobs. I heard he liked fruit as well.
>>698802441
Get a job? Hacking is easy. The most 1337 thing I do is denial of service attacks and password cracking with hashcat. Normies are tards so I mostly use social engineering. I've technically been dead for 7 years because faking a death certificate is a piece of cake.
>>698802686
hahahaha it's fine stop apologizing
humor is 99% confidence. you seem unconfident in all your posts and that makes you not funny. could be the same deal in real life.
>>698802851
Fruitaria 4 lyfe
>>698802547
welcome to society where you are obligated to pay for the scum and leaches
>>698802851
The banana thing was a joke. I'm not creepy in real life, just really quiet.
>>698802928
I'll practice confidence, then.
>>698802624
Not to build muscle, you fucking retard. Losing weight requires protein. If you're working your ass off to lose weight and not taking in enough protein, your body goes into survival mode and starts breaking down muscle and storing fat for energy which is the opposite of what you want. Whether you build muscle or not is entirely dependent on the TYPE of exercise you do.
>lifting weights VS jogging
Of course becoming a meathead shouldn't be a priority. But if you're a depressed fatass, not being a such a fatass should be a priority. I'm not telling him to focus on it, just keep it in mind. You act like he won't have any free time at all, and trust me, he will.
>>698792383
Brah, you can find a studio in Phoenix for like 400-500 a month, or a shared room for 300
Granted it'll be in a roach infested shithole but its better than being homeless
>>698803079
Too late. Still imagining you deepthroating an unpeeled banana. And now the rest of you are too.
>>698802851
I know this place used to be known for the leet haxing, but I would strongly advise against mentioning things like that.
I caught some wind recently of increased awareness from the CID, don't know specifics, but it can't be good.
Stay safe, anon.
Op, write me. On phone now cant type much.
[email protected]
fucking do it. Cant explain now but i can help. Write me.
>>698803079
Hey I thought it was pretty damn funny.
