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It's retards stories time !

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 176
Thread images: 151
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It's retards stories time !
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>>698409233
Once upon a time

>Op

The end
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>Lifeguarding
>wranglers bring their herd of tards to the water park
>tard gets idea
>takes off clothes
>wrangler proceeds to wrestle naked tard in the pool
>tfw I'm not legally able to get out of stand for this
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http://web.archive.org/web/20041208194350/http://www.terryrichardson.com/images/650/nude_girls/p.tar

https://web.archive.org/web/20030413135720/http://www.terryrichardson.com/Badman/badindex.html
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>>698409233
Here's one that's actually true for a change

>Be me
>7th grade, in middle school
>In gym class
>Start talking to an autistic kid named Ralphie
>The kid is huge, easily 200 pounds, mexican
>Only says one word: "Ralphie"
>Go up to ralphie
>"Hey ralphie"
>He turns to me and says "Raaaalphieeee"
>I say "ralphieee" back
>"Raaaaaaaaalphieeee"
>Again I say "raaaalphiee"
>Ralphie gets pissed
>"RAAAAALPHIEEE"
>To match his tone, I scream "RAAAALPHIEEEE"
>Ralphie goes apeshit
>"RALPHIE! RALPHIE! RALPHIE! RALPHIE!"
>Takes off his shoes and throws them
>Sprints away, all the while screaming "RAAAAAAALPHIEEEE! RAAAAAAAALPHIEEEE! RAAAAAAALPHIEE!"
>Casually walk away, pretend it didn't happen while trying not to lose my shit
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>>698409233
>Be OP
>Start a retard story thread on /b/
>Everyone laughs at OP
>Everyone jeers at OP
>Everyone makes fun of OP
>Someone dox's OP
>Massive box deliveries
>Massive pizza deliveries for days!
>OPs parents find out what he did.
>Dad: "Son, I am disappoint!"
>Mom: "You're such a little faggot!"

Moral of the story?

>OP IS ALWAYS A FAGGOT!
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>>698410561
haha nice meme my dude. I see you've picked up the epic 4chan meme culture very well hahaha! "OP is a faggot" - classic meme xD

nice furry pic btw :D
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http://web.archive.org/web/20110131213850/http://www.terryrichardson.com/IMAGES/pages/Harm_Chloe_jpg.htm
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>>698410561

Someone seems upset.

Retard.
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>>698410561
Just out of curiousity, what are you like in real life? Do people know that you draw pictures of anthropomorphic animals and masturbate to them? How do you feel about being a furry? Do you feel like you have superior taste in porn that nobody understands or something in order to save your self esteem? Or do you know that you're a fucking loser and accept that fact? But then why are you going on threads making fun of people when you know that you are a huge fucking loser in real life? Or are you trying to make yourself feel better about yourself by attacking other people?
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>>698409233

https://web.archive.org/web/20041207203108/http://www.terryrichardson.com/Portraits/portraits_index5.html
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http://www.vice.com/read/fashion-v9n11
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Jesus you guys are fucking worthless
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>>698410547
Cocksucker
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>>698410155
That's a lion. Only retard in this thread is the person who named t file
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>>698413875
y did this become a terry richardson dump?
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>>698410695
Is that Gavin Mcinnes?
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>>698414078
>>698411758
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Does anyone have screencaps of that guy who had all the stories of the kid who was obsessed with owls? I forget what the kids name was, but I pissed myself reading all of those stories.
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>>698409233
I have one.
Be 1991, summer
7 years old
Went to local mom and pop video store with cousin, his friend and his friends mentally challenged brother.
Rented 2 or 3 Genesis games
Games were in plastic cases with a security device it it that only the person behind the could take off.
Got games and left.
Returned home and noticed one of the security things weren't taken off.
We were going to back to store to have them remove it
Friends retard brother has bright idea
Runs downstairs with game
Oh shit
Chases after him
Runs outside SMASHES case on ground
Retard strength
Case smashes open. Game flies out.
Oh shit what are you doing
Friends brother and my cousin scream and retard
I go to retrieve game which flew a good 15 or so feet away.
Game scratched and chipped.
Retard starts getting agitated runs into our garden and starts stomping all over it
Wtf
Dad comes out tells him to get the hell out of the garden.
Dad tells everyone to get the hell out of here.
First we have to pick up all the pieces of the case.
Dad sees broken case.
What did you idiots do?!
We tell him it was retard. He shakes his head in disgust
Tells us we better go to the video store and tell them what happened.
Yeah. We know.
Return to video store.
Employee, what happened.
We point at retard.
He nods. And says don't worry about it
Asks if we have the game.
Give its to him.
Chipped and scratched.
Employee now looks mad
Puts in Genesis behind the desk to see if it works,
Nope. Looks like scrambled porn. Emits loud eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound.
Now he's mad.
Tells us to pay for it or we're never allowed to rent from there again.
We go to the house of my cousins friend and his regard brother.
Tells his mom what happened.
She looks pissed and annoyed.
She gives her son 60 or 70 bucks and says he'll have to pay her back in housework.
Go to video store
Gives money
Employee thanks us and says we can keep the broken cart of we want.
We do.later to find out it works. Game is desert strike, btw
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ARMY REPORT HERE NOW

>>698413296
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>>698414226

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-Y5o0crf7g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rjc-50CVgkQ
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https://web.archive.org/web/20030814190808/http://www.terryrichardson.com/Nudes/mn1index.html


https://web.archive.org/web/20030814184950/http://www.terryrichardson.com/Nudes/mn2index.html
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http://web.archive.org/web/20060508091211/http://www.terryrichardson.com/Pictures/Cat.html

http://terrysdiary.com/post/402689164/me-and-fangs-the-cat
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>>698414255
>lrn2greentext faggot
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pic related
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Story I've shared once before on here.

>be in 6th grade
>potatoes had menial jobs in school
>Allison was a short (nearly midget) potato and had job of delivering bulletins to the teaches in the morning
>couldn't speak but had a cart she pushed around
>cart had buttons that would say words when pressed
>every morning she would walk in with wrangler and press "here is your bulletin" button
>sometimes tried to talk but could only make "ANCK" sound
>kids were dicks and used to make sound in mockery
>one morning, Ally is in a bad mood
>goes into rebel mode while handing bulletin to our teacher
>presses cart button "apple"
>wrangler says "no, press the right one"
>"apple"
>"ANCK!"
>wrangler getting frustrated
>out of fucking nowhere tard power level over 9000
>"appleappleappleapple ANNCHHHKKKKKK!"
>fucking shit hits the fan, starts running around the room dodging wranglers lasso attack
>still screaming, runs out into hallway
>fuckingwat.jpg
>About a half hour later announcement comes on to help keep an eye out for Ally
>wrangler fucking lost the potato
>hours pass and no sign of Ally
>finally in Spanish class and here commotion in hallway
>see from the corner of my eye fucking naked Ally bolting down hallway with several wranglers chasing after
>next day she pressed the right button
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>>698411568
>passive-aggresive
>takes one to know one?
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> be in 7th grade when first experience with tards
> there was this girl who was tard as fuck
> let's call her Martha
> so one day me, martha and 4 other kids were alone in the classroom finishing a science project.
> while we were working on that shit Martha was jumping around and sitting on every place possible
> i stood up (we were working in the floor) and walked up to her seat because i needed to get something
> holyshitjesuschrist.exe
> fucking period blood everywhere
> i scream
> everyone looks at the fucking bloody seat
> not only her sit, she sat fucking EVERYWHERE
> classroom looks like crime scene
> martha looks at me with a murderous intent
> she yells something in tard language
> she puts her hand in her underwear and takes a bloody ass pad
> startes chasing us yelling gibberish bullshit
> she ran up to a teacher and throws the bloody ass pad at her
> teacher known as period face to this day
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>>698410561
fuck off furfag
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>>698412178
Worth it
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>>698412222
Czechd my nigga
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>>698409757
whodat
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>sitting by the doors outside lunch room
>grade 11
>Hear loud slam against the window next to me
>ohgodno it's retard I call banana warrior
>He whips it open and AGGRESSIVELY stands over me
>I'm 105lbs he's probably a terrifying 200
>shouts angrily in face "BURNUH GONNA DIE"
>ThisIsHowItEnds.png
>thankfully runs away nearly crying to the bathrooms
>Friends call me banana feel for months
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>>698418405
just 1 of tR's sluts
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>>698411821
"Ah kin fwhy off th' woof!"
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>>698412222
Oh My Quad
thank you
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>be me
>be 9 - 10 years old
>play tag with several other kids (prolly around 12)
>we play on the school playground
>Tard gang arrives at playground ranging from downies to fucked up tards
>other kids start mocking them and downie goes into rage mode
>chases me and 2 other kids up the climbing frame
>rush for a hole that leads to the slip on the top of the climbing frame.
>other kid gets up before me and goes straight down the slide
>Get idea
>I Block the girl from gaining entrance up to safe haven where you can escape the tards.
>She begs me to move and then starts crying.
>tard caught its prey

Don't remember what the tard did to her but the other kids got really pissed off at him
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>>698418611
Yeah just tryin' to know this slut's name
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>>698420210
sorry m8 i forgot the model's id?
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>>698420113

fucking hilarious. Nice dubs tho
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Jared Leto
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>>698420747
kek
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>>698410547
Seriously you like shaking up the hornets nest
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>>698414255
Didn't green text
>didn't read
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>>698409233
Don't have many and none are interesting but whatever.

Grade 5 we had a girl from Mali and she had been fucked up mentally by bomb damage or something. I think like her mind was there but body was basically like "go fuck yourself" so other than tick sounds she would make everything else was just Aooooo. She could only type on the keyboard and not well and toss fits probably cause she was frustrated as shit.

We told a friend to steal her plastic keys one day "same shit a young child might have and she went ballistic and bit him pretty bad. No chunks out or anything but huge marks on his arm. For whatever reason when he was recovering and back in class he apologized and she bit him again. Was hillarious but damn she musta really hated him. Nothing cool with her other than that though. Her name was Hibo or Heebo. I dunno id have to pull out class photo shit.

A downs kid was in our area near the basketball hoops doing some weird shit and I got lippy in grade 6 and somehow wound up having a leg wrestling match. Bad fucking idea. I'm surprised he didn't break my legs (no clue who the fuck he even was) but fuck was he strong, no mercy.

High school there wasn't much except on the bus one day two were kinda dry humping for about 15 mins in a seat and was kinda fucked up. Never got involved with that shit.

And other than that just normal interactions here and there.
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>>698422222
quints and pic limit. ffs
Thread replies: 176
Thread images: 151


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