Post your religion, get roasted
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Post your religion, get roasted
none
Reformed Christian
>>696934474
this whole bored is corrupted by waifuism and must be purged !
Satanist
Pastafarian
Mormon
not even kidding
Stream of Consciousness.
We got a royal flush!
>>696934923
go back to EU4 shithead
>>696935040
If your not getting women with this then your a fucking loser and you should kill yourself >>696935134
Pasta gives me heartburn fuck your religion
>>696935138
Josef smith was a liar and you know it
>>696935140
I don't know what this is but it sounds stupid
>>696934474
Jewish but Hitler has the all time best roast .
Buddhist christian
>>696934474
zunist
>>696934474
all i want to do is see the future
>>696935447
your sideburns are retarded
>>696935459
I bet your mommy does yoga and your father is long gone
>>696935579
I bought a Zune once it fucking sucked , im buying apple from now on
URANTHIAN
>>696935768
nope she doesn't you fucking faggot :)
>>696934743
souless turd
Sikhism
Turnup
>>696934474
Reformed Tengri
crazy cat person
Slavic pagan
>>696936272
fucking neckbeard. :)
100% pur bagan :DDD
>>696935806
wtf is this shit
>>696935888
nice trips you shithead
>>696936177
stop littering on the mountains your damaging the environment
>>696936208
cats wont save your soul jesus will
>>696936272
Back to crusader kings with you
>>696934474
Episcopalian
Flying spaghetti monster
Zen Buddhist.
Agnostic
None. I stopped needing imaginary friends a long time ago. I do study many different religions though. They are so often such a huge part of history, to know the history of each religion gives you a lot more insight history as a whole. Fascinating stuff.
Fuck Islam though. Seriously.
>>696937388
confused m8? :)
Hellinest
>>696935134
Ramen.
The source of human life and the universe is beyond my comprehension. As far as I know God is just as possible as evolution and no matter how much I study any of it I won't be able to prove anything so why worry about it?
>>696936515
I kek'k heartily!
wiccan
come at me bros
All of religion can be traced back to alien intervention
Roman Catholic
>>696938133
not a real religion its just worshiping nature faggot.
>>696938133
im going to try and do this shit to get laid
>>696938206
i smell summer on you.
Assalamu Walaikum
>>696934474
blood for the blood god
skulls for the skull throne
>>696937794 Wrong. Science has shown no evidence at all for anything resembling a God and much evidence against the existence of one. The safe bet is on there not being one. You are perfectly capable of weighing evidence and making up your own mind right? Then I encourage you to study and come back when you are more sure of your answer.
>>696938261
>jpeg artifacts
>stupid faggotry
>inb4 pic rateled.
islam
Jehovah's witness
illuminati high priestess
Nontheist. I subscribe to that "the only thing we know is we know nothing philosophy" bullshit. Basically every religion except Atheism has basically the same amount of evidence supporting it but we still don't know enough to prove or disprove just one religion so I don't care for any of them at this point.
>>696938462
evolution cant rally be proved either i mean the guy who came up with it was a devout member of the church of England :)
>>696937653
Only sexually.
Christian
>>696938268
A mention of non-nature deities literally starts the third paragraph of its wiki page.
>>696938268
Because worshiping an illiterate Jewish Rabbi Zombie makes so much more sense? Both ideas are stupid, but at least you can hang out in nature. I love to camp and hike and shit. Can't do that with zombie Jesus...
>>696938590
>>696935138
hows that cult going for you :)
>>696936042
My turbanated nigga.
I once was getting jumped by 4 nignogs on a tram in Dallas, 2 seikhs jumped in and beat their asses. Didn't know them, but they took care of me till my stop and invited me to dinner and temple.... super cool
>>696934474
kike here.
>>696938636
track that IP
We found one boys !
Mahayana Buddhism.
Seventh Day Adventist
>>696938781
really wiki page ? that can be edited not the best resource.
>>696938462
You're probably thinking of Christianity with your response but he's referring to all religions involving a deity. This is important because science can't disprove Greek mythology but given our data we could for Christianity.
Agnostic
Fundementalist christian
Jehova's witness
(Plz b gentle)
>>696938825
Not him but I think Mormonism is big enough at this point to supersede cult status.
>>696935447
Kek
>>696938914
Ok here's a better source: someone who's actually the thing you're talking about.
i belive in the anime
>>696939031
false. a cult is simply the worship of one person. :)
>>696938462
You can't just say "science proved it". Honestly you really can't prove much of anything. For example how would you prove that we are not just manifestations of some creature's imagination that think we are real?
And why do I need a secure answer? Just think about the scope of the universe for a bit, there is no way that I am going to put my faith in any answer to something that intense and complex. It is all behind human comprehension, as of now at least
Church of the Broken God
>>696936042
Love my /b/rother. Educate those around you. We aren't Muslims.
The House of Niggerus Maximus
>>696938462
>Much evidence against the existance of one.
Sounds legit
>>696939147
still not accurate because you DONT know what your talking about you stupid edgy faggot :)
Raised quaker
The only right answer is Roman Catholic. Stay mad and burn in hell faggots
Pagan
>>696938828
>>696939221
My bad meant to reply to your post, not mine lol.
>>696939208
Mormons don't worship a living or dead person though. To them Joseph Smith was a prophet not a god.
>>696936042
>>696938828
>>696939221
Hard to roast perfection
>>696938875
Hahahaha Saturday and catholics u guys rock
>>696939215
Where are you from? We need to spread ideas like that. People aren't humble like they used to be.
>>696938680
Wrong again. It has been proven. Seriously, look it up. Also, just because the guy that came up with theory was religeos, that doesn't invalidate it or make it not true. He was trying to better explain what he saw as his creators work. It was a different time. Christians weren't afraid of science the way they are now. I'm seriously trying to encourage you. Get off this shit site and read up on this stuff. It's fascinating and at the very least you'll have a more informed rebuttal when you are having discussions like this.
>>696934474
Silence
>>696939486
actually Mormons believe they can become gods including Joseph smith and since he is dead then he is a god kys faggot :)
>>696938860
My nigga
sunni muslim
The only thing i beleive in is myself and the corruption of others through organised religion,
>>696939484
Yeah dude if it wasn't for the whole, long hair and turban thing. I'd totally convert.
Great moral system, relatively cool beliefs, nice people.
It's too bad people think you're all hadjis, bet they don't know that the dagger was ordered to be worn because of fucking unwanted Muslim attacks.
>>696936042
My fucking man.
Turn fucking up.
Nordic Mythology
Blöt up in here
>>696939713
That's great
>>696939514
/b/ae!! You're making me shy
>>696939375
I'm not trying to be edgy.
I don't know what to call my belief system
I believe that all religions are possibilities, and really anything could have created our world and our species, and anything could undo it. Anything could await us beyond the mortal vision.
atheist/agnostic. reject all religions but believe in possibility of conscious entity creating laws of universe, but nothing comparable to humanity.
>>696939839
How big is your fedora collection?
>>696938946
What? Of course science disproves Greek mythology....Seriously what the fuck did I just read??
>>696936042
/thread
>>696934474
Yakhi
>>696940026
that's a destructive view, that allows for complacency of misconduct justified by religion
>>696940022
oh really i bet you listen to panic at the disco, blood on the dance floor and you were "born in the wrong generation" :)
>>696939794
ayyy
>>696934474
not religion but i believe it's time to revive the Alhambra Decree for those sandniggas, but this time in all europe
>>696940245
Neither, sorry
>>696940082
Tell me one way science desproves Greek mythology.
BASE
>>696939681
Fucking hairless monkey theory what kind of downey faggot beleive hes a monkey because some guys in white coats said he was
Theravada
>>696939681
Regardless of his point you're saying we have irrefutable proof but there are still too many things to explain so we're left at a really good guess. Which therefore does not mean we know for sure and can't say for sure theories of Atheism are fact. Even if they are better than any current religion.
>>696939681
evolution does not disprove the existence of god just how a species changed :)
>>696940436
tard who believes anything alert
I have a feeling that 90% use religion as a hobby
>>696940414
bullshit i smell summer kys:)
>>696939713
That's called transcendentalism. Not a religion but close enough.
>>696940059
It is equal to that of people i have gained from. So,10.
>>696939942
Nah i respect that fam. Just be a good dude. Thats literally all we care about. Your religion doesn't matter. We don't have an "us vs them" thing; anti-proselytization, etc...you dig. I live in the Bay Area though and I have run across some non-Punjabi Sikh converts (White, Asian, Black) who I assume got into it through yoga. Dope shit.
Currently questioning everything tbh.
But on the side, I do believe in ghosts, souls, and paranormal shit. Just not really a God per se, so idk
Aliens are ok too
It's hard :(
>>696940414
maybe Metallica then ? :)
>>696939942
Yeah Sikhs are like Muslim lite right?
>>696939215
Well, you are correct. Some things really can't be proven. We could all be some simulation or something. But just because the universe is big and complex, that doesn't mean that you don't have the ability to understand it. That's just selling yourself short and insulting the intelligence of all the super smart people who go to work every day trying to uncover more of the fascinating reality that we live it.
And yes, you can say Science has proven something when it has.
>>696934474
laveyan satanist (magick)
>>696940878
more like rush and bowie
>>696940975
edgey faggot.:)
>>696940914
Cringe. Nice tits though
Polygamous Pagan
Agnostic but would be willing to convert if evidence for God arose
>>696940975
fag
>>696940834
My father married a sikh Punjab, she taught me all about it and after what I've seen in life, even after the military it just made sense.
>>696938261
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have much to learn young one
>>696940995
wow really edgy there "born in the wrong generation"
>>696939423
Says the person who belongs to the world's largest organized child sex trafficking organization.
Homosexuism
Agnostic
>>696940975
How long have you been in the 10th grade? Did you just graduate to it?
>>696935134
R'Amen my brother
>>696941184
Second there is the united states congress
>>696941205
More like fagnostic.
Hermaeus Mora
>>696940975
Don't worry champ, you'll make it through high school ;^)
agnostic atheist
>>696941128
So what do Sikhs believe?
Why do they have a warrior class within the religion and what do they do?
Isn't like isis or something?
>>696936042
Sihks are chill as fuck dude. Good men each and every one.
Agnostic. Can't pretend I know the truth but neither is anything super convincing.
Greco-roman pagan
>>696940436
Dig in your yard. A really really deep hole. Go down until your shovel melts. Tell me if you meet Hades.
>>696941587
nnnneat
>>696941476
smart man
anyone atheist/agnostic? rejects all mainstream faiths, including buddhism and other faiths, but believes in possibility of divine entity?
>>696941522
The guy at the 711 near me is a dick
Deism. Best thing to believe in.
Not a single gnostic? wtf, i cant be the only one
>>696940469
The kind that believes what is true. What kind of idiot believes a magic sky man made him out of clay?
>>696941184
What can I say, we like our boys young and supple
>>696941508
Yes, it is like Isis. Any other queries?
>>696940436
Thereis a orthedox catholic church on the top of mt olympis
catholic
>>696941522
Sihks helped fight for Best Germany.
Dudeism
Just take it easy, man!
>>696938133
"this will make girls think i'm cool!"
>>696941706
Agree
>>696940644
You are quite right. That would fall under cosmology. It was a mistake made for the sake of convenience. I'm typing this shit on a tablet.
>>696941205
Me too. I certainly hope there is a God though, and I hope trying to be a good person is enough...
>>696941452
Hahaha
Mundhun from Nepal here. Did my 4 brit years and 6 american. Live in Austin now
>>696940926
I'm all for smart people going to work everyday to discover more about the universe, it's awesome to hear about new planets and whatnot the stuff humanity can do is truly amazing.
But I am not selling myself short, in my opinion at least. I'm a simple guy, I'm most likely going to die somewhere close to 100 years and I don't need faith in anything as something to fall back onto as I come to the end of my life. Some people do, and that's great, I hope they keep trying to discover more about the world because that is how people develop, but as for me, I'd rather just a live a simple, happy life and not worry about anything that I don't want to.
>>696941779
Hi im a nigerian prince i need some money to get some money can i have some money
>>696934474
Catholic
>>696941835
Ha ha ha!! Gross.
>>696942151
Well think about this. No mans sky is coming out right? Its a universe generated by math. What if we're really in no mans sky and we just dont know it?
>>696938133
Okay Sabrina the Teenage Newfag. We get it. You're a magician or whatever. Go commune with the "spirits" back in your room young lady and come back down when you've outgrown this stupid shit and realize how stupid you look.
the one with the cross
>>696934474
no religion.
idk if there is a god much less what the fuck he would want from me. i just try really hard not to be an asshole most of the time.
Laveyan satanism makes sense though, much more than anything else out there.
nihilism is logically infallible but utterly useless.
4Chan Worship
>>696940469
Man do I have a bridge to sell you....
Zorastrian in LA, 3rd Gen American also fuck Iran..
>>696942247
Then the best of luck to you on your journey. It's been a pleasure.
>>696942627
Nice.
>>696938133
Wicca is just a bunch of older pagan religions bullshitted together during the 20s and commercialized as part of a mysticism fad. It's barely a real religion. If you're going to be pagan at least follow a legit pagan religion faggot.
>>696935138
Joseph Smith was a successful conman.
In my opinion the only good thing catholisism has ever done is to take art seriusly and make art everywhere they go. But.. that's it.
>>696934474
I'm an agnostic atheist because they seem to be immune to roasts here.
>>696942465
I'm a grown man with a steady job, an owned house, and a normal social life.
>>696941779
You dont know how to read try to read it again this time remember your reading something thats really old and is not written for the words to be taken litterally like you did dumbass
>>696942459
I have no idea what no mans sky is.
>>696942918
high five big dig
>>696943129
dog*
>>696943067
look it up
>>696934474
Catholic, but sort of agnostic as in I have my faith and I don't think there's anything wrong with having another faith/lack of faith as long you're not a faggot about it. I think the creator of the universe has better things to do that get butthurt over whether they're worshipped or not.
Ásatrú
>>696942627
Ill buy your bridge if you help me get my money im a nigerian prince you know
>>696934474
Ch'an buddhist and Taoist... I ain't even mad.
>>696934474
Apathetist
For any jesuphiles
>>696942855
lol SDA Paranoid Cathophobe.
genderfluid
...sorry wrong thread
>>696939750
You are so fuckin off
>>696938462
Hey, how 'bout this? Evolution is God, GG fags
>>696934474
Pantheist
>>696943347
Learn how to rightly divide and you wont have to post such stupidity
>>696943037
yeah, you're also a member of a cobbled together bullshit religion created during the new age mysticism of the 1970's. News Flash: If you hear things speaking to you it's not spirits of nature, it's schizophrenia and you should get that shit checked out pronto.
>>696943323
where you learn taoism? i have a teacher at my kung fu school. also tibetan buddhism
>>696935138
What are ya? I'm a jack
>>696942459
We're a reality show
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longshot
>>696943444
Fucking disgusting use of trips
>>696934474
Beefaronist
>>696943444
also check'em
>>696943629
Nah man you can get shit to talk to you but they never say anthing good
>>696943060
Please, don't lecture someone on ready when you haven't yet mastered the art of punctuation. If, in your incoherent rambling, are referring to the bible, let me ask you: What makes your holy book correct and not the koran or the ancient Hindu texts?
Methodist
>>696942624
>>696937388
Indecision is more deadly than belief.
>>696943613
>rightly devide
I call that splitting hairs and if you're gonna do that what's the point of having fucking commandments?
>>696934474
Catholic
CATHOLIC
>>696943873
First Church of God In Check.
>>696938450
fucking heresy bro. That's all that needs to be said.
>>696943922
READING. Not READY. Stupid autocorrect....
>>696944022
definitely....it's like that suicide bomber who screamed "i don't know what to believe!!!" before killing 300 people in an office building
>>696938590
I slam the door in your face and laugh every time.
>>696943922
Oh my punctuation is bad how is that an argument again and our history lines up with known history our prophecy comes true
>>696944281
FANTASTIC!
>>696944184
>>696944186
Greetings, my niggas.
>>696944184
What's with the sanic shit?
Nihilism
>>696943603
Good for you believing in pants! Not like those godless robe wearing shitskins
deist
>>696939208
That's not even close to true.
>>696936042
I got sick from a turnip, fuck you
>>696944160
Because you have to do what God is telling you to do when he is talking to you not the jews not abraham not noah you have one apostal paul the mystery was reveiled on to him no one else
>>696944480
What
>>696944402
It wasn't meant as an argument against your religion. It was meant to show that you are stupid and/or uneducated. Christianity does "line up" with a good chunk of history because it has been around for more than 2000 years so, yes, of course it does. That doesn't make its mythology demonstrable false. Prophecies are not real. Neither is your simple little god.
Eastern Orthodox Christian
I am Agnostic, don't believe in religion but I believe In god, trust me after 24 grams of mushrooms, you'll believe too. Me and my friends keep seeing God as a geared clock master
Norse Pagan
>>696944497
Go to your corner and cut yourself you Nietzsche wannabe. Things exist, knowledge is known to some extent, and things have both given/assigned and inherent value in and of themselves.
Kekism
>>696945027
So, like Catholic but all Eastern European and shit?
>>696944845
If you hear voices talking to you there's a bretty gud chance you just have schizophrenia
>>696944934
Please insert the word LESS between mythology and demonstrably. Once again. Tablet typing is not ideal.
Methodist. Can be an occasional ass and still go to Heaven without most of all that Bible gibberish.
im anonymous.
>>696944934
Book of daniel written 500 years before Alexander The Great Defeated The Persians it directly predicted this plus isreal returning as a country jesus predicting the destruction of the the tmple and there is more i cant remember
Orthodox Christian
>>696945080
You just took a giant pseudo intellectual dump on a wonderful philosophy. Just imagine if you will that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Now Heres Tom with the Weather.
RC muthafuckas!
It's been fun gents. Have a great evening with whatever deity you think watches you masturbate. Except for >>696944402
You go fuck a sheep or whatever it is people like you do.
>>696945253
I dont you need to do witch craft first not that wiccan shit eather need to be in submission to the baphomet then you can talk to the yoda
>>696946251
How much weed do you smoke?
>>696946173
Ha gotta run do ya
I don't believe in hell. I believe we are here to learn. That our hell is relearning what we didn't learn in the life before. That we choose to be here to learn something. What it leads up to i have no idea until I die. Until then I have no clue but I enjoy life and am tired of fucking assholes already.
>>696946395
Those are real witch craft turms im not a satanist thought but the yoda as you know it is a demon that gives you wisdom when you call it
>>696946702
Thought fucking phone
>>696938876
Same here
>>696946689
I don't even know if there's a name for this.
jew here
it's OK you are all going to get to heaven too
Buttyisam the worship of butts and ass. I like the asshole and I die by the asshole
multi cultural beliefs
>>696947528
baha'i
>>696947357
Not according to the torra or the talmud were not mabe some kabala book but then you would be a nostic jew
Norse pagan
>>696947767
Eh I believe in multiple things from different religions. I honestly think if you believe that you'll go to hell you'll go to hell. If you think you'll be reincarnated then you shall. If you believe there is nothing then there is nothing after death. If you believe you'll ascend to Mount Olympus and be fucked by Zeus then by god it shall be so.
>>696946689
>>696947195
B...uhddism? R-reincarnation?
>>696948235
The gravitational pull of the sun
>>696934474
Orthodoxy, but actually I'm an atheist
>>696948380
Thats retarded you believe that we have a soul but what made it dosnt care about it
>>696948380
Interesting perspective. Can you explain why ?
>>696948380
Have you met one person who dosnt care about wat he has made
>>696948907
I'm saying that what YOU believe shall happen at the end of your life. I never said there isn't something out there that may have made us. If you believe there is a God who made us then there very well may be one. Everyone's image of God is different. Same with heaven and hell.
>>696948929
Well no one has seen the after life right? And there has been oh so many religions in the history of man. I dont think any religion is wrong, I just believe that we all have the right to go where we please in the afterlife. If you cherish your loved ones and wish to meet them again you shall. I'm just tired of everyone fighting saying this is right or that is wrong. Why can't we just believe what we want and live with it? If you believe you have been faithful and your soul is pure then you shall go to heaven or the land you want.
>>696949136
Humans are strange creatures, we as a race are a very big mess. If there truly was something that created us would he want us to kill each other?
>>696934474
Agnostic atheism
>tfw no fedora to tip
>>696939825
Shia here.
>Stop glorifying hadith that were written from accounts three hundred years after the death of the profit.
>Stop making all muslims look like maniacs
>No, we do not praise Ali and the ahlul bayt as if they were God or the Prophet
>We simply take their tafsir of the Quran as the most legitimate.
>>696950143
Still it looks good on a bumper sticker but its a totally retared way of thinking there is only one truth just saying there all true and then saying whatever one you pick is dumb why would a god create a being that could chose who to follow but then not expect them to chose the right one there has only been one "religion" that has existed since the begining first the jew then to the gentile think
Muslim
Peace religion
>>696951606
Your religion was invented 500 years after Catholicism you even share key characteristics with catholics if you look into the history of the koran it was writen from memory and it littlerly says some books are not included because he forgot
>>696951893
If there was only one true religion then the god who has created humans would strip their freedom of choice in terms of religion.
>>696952595
No you can choose any religion you want and be a slave and die and burn and then dont exist or you can go with God and be free and then die be translated into an eternal being
>>696953092
That's your version of God though... Many religions claim to have the "true" God but everyone has a different ideal version of God.
>>696943291
Hailsa!!
JEWISH, you aint got shit on me niggas
>>696938133
Faggot
Transcendentalism
>>696953622
But your idea of god is just as bad as thinking there is no god at all its liken to 2+2=7 because we all beleive different things no its 4 there is one God make the easy choice of picking the right one the one that gives it to you straight and then gives you a way out for free
>>696952582
It was 600 years after the Gospel. And actually, Islam is rooted in Judaism and Christianity. We believe Moses and Jesus to both have been Prophets of the one true God (Yahweh, Jehovah, and Allah all literally mean the same thing [one true God]). Basically, the Quran teaches us that these were three men with one message. I'm not gonna get into the specifics, because i've already crossed the line by discussing religion on /b/ but basically, we're really not all that different. Same stories, same teachings, same references, etc. It's just a matter of Man having corrupted the words of God over time, and the Quran still being the exact same today as when it was first revealed almost 1500 years ago.
Kekism
Agnostic
Bet you can't roast me, faggot
>>696954757
I'm trying to say that everyone has a different image of God. Your father and you have different ideas of what God is and will do. The same shall be said for your friends and fellow believers. Everyone has a personal idea of their God/religion.
>>696954995
Jesus is not a profit He is God islam is slavery to god christianity is sonship we do not believe the same thing at all if you cant tell that jesus is God you dont know god at all your being lied to and enslaved
GOD WILLS IT!
>>696955748
So in the numerous verses of Mark, Matthew, John, and Luke, where Jesus is "praying to God" from Earth, he's actually praying to himself? That makes a lot of sense.
>>696937635
How does dad's cum taste?
>>696955231
But your not getting what im saying you are being brain washed by modernism its not a new idea its really old kabala nostic jew stuff its old and holds no water
>>696956142
>jews
>>696956043
Yes because he is a man who has no sin...hes sinless he broke not one law praying to god is a law
>>696956142
I'm not being brainwashed, if I was then I'd be a typical christian or mormon as those are the two dominate religions in my area. I don't really believe in anything. If you do then that's alright. Its your life believe what you will.
>>696934474
Jainist
:^)
