Hey /b/, I've gotten a little bored with normal masturbation, I need something to make it more fun and interesting, any suggestions?
>>696923917
Have you tried masturbating while pretending to ignore the hallucinatory spiders that are in the corners of your vision? It can be exciting!
>>696924370
What do I need to smoke to find them?
Put your flashlight in the ass and guib yourself a handjob.
>>696923917
Have you tried going on /d/
>>696925592
What kind of flashlight?
>>696924370
this guy gets it
>>696925450
Eat like 10 of these little pink guys. You can get a 100ct bottle at dollar stores, or for like $4 at Wal-mart / CVS.
If you eat 20, your hallucinations will get even stranger, but it might be hard to jerk it since at that point your skeleton will feel like it's made of lead, and you'll forget what you're doing every 5 minutes.
At 30, I genuinely can't remember what the fuck happens, but it's funny as fuck every time.
Beyond 40 is not recommended.
>>696925982
What happens beyond 40?
>>696923917
This always works me.
Mom will never let you down
bump
>>696926294
an hero
>>696926944
nope
>>696927045
what
>>696926294
Beyond 40, your body starts to shut down. Unlike most drugs, Diphenhydramine blocks all neurotransmitters. Not just the ones that you make you feel a certain way, but just all of them. All the neurotransmitters. So, there is an amount of this drug that will make your heart stop, and make it impossible to breathe. I'm not sayin' it's 40. I'm just sayin', I haven't made it past 40, and I wouldn't recommend that amount or higher.
Exciting!
>>696927114
40 pills won't kill you
masturbate with a frozen habanero pepper in the palm of your hand
>the icy hot
Chilli peppers + rope = amazing self lubricating anal beads.
>>696923917
Several of the models on the scatshop site will sell you their she-shits. You could order some and use it as lube. They'll even send you a vid of them shitting it out and packing it up.
>>696923917
Lube Up and Flame On!
Masturbate as usual, but just as you are about to cum stick a pen in you eye
>>696923917
Bring up some Club Penguin
>>696916059
You're getting your internets mixed up, sir. I think you've had enough 4chan for today.
>>696928440
but it's all I have
>>696923917
Apply some bengay on your dick, instead of your regular cream. Most people say thats how a real vagina feels like.
Also moar like OP's pic
>>696927286
experienced DPH fag here
10 25mg diphenhydromine pills are close enough to the "not-fun-at-all" zone that I wouldn't recommend it. at most, a good, first timer, fap dose is 4 to 6 pills, which toy can get from any gas station for less than 3 bucks.
as for taking 40 pills, that's 1000mg, this PROBABLY won't kill you. from the stories I've seen, death is very rare. it's hard to die from DPH alone, but like liquor and molly, if you mix uppers with downers, your chances of serious consequences go through the roof.
>>696927853
Do they have free vids there? That's a hot pic.
Use super glue as lube.
Try to cum before your hand gets stuck. Make it a game.
>>696928881
HIVEMIND
>>696928676
No free vids, but hang on a sec i'll find one of that model and post the link. her name is loverachelle2
>>696928676
here
http://thisvid.com/videos/6-poops/
Shove a cobra snake up your vagina and see if you can get it to take a shit in your uterus.
>>696928916
In the future, the most advanced humans will have evolved their digestion to the point that cute girls literally shit frosting. In this way, our food will be digested multiple times (like many species on this planet already do, and our evolutionary ancestors used to) increasing the efficiency of nutritional extraction. Our internal flora will coevolve, to break down nutrients that our genetics can't. We will be able to subsist on less, and produce less waste, and it will be *delicious.*
Let's hive mind it up!
>>696929086
It's like she is shitting a wooden club.
>>696929103
Thanks brah
>>696929542
>In the future, the most advanced humans will have evolved their digestion to the point that cute girls literally shit frosting
I wouldn't want that. I love the idea of sexy girls taking giant smelly shits and being all embarrassed that they could produce something so foul
>>696927286
I think you'd be fucking braindead if all your neurotransmitters were blocked anon
>>696930047
Then our species lines must diverge, since anybody who's anybody knows that far from being foul, or smelling, it's the sweetest substance that exists on this earth. Refined, pure essence of femininity. At least, the ones who have feminine poops.
Feel free to breed with any women that make disgusting, foul turds. More power to ya'.
I love shitting girls
Which one?
http://www.strawpoll.me/10857452
>>696923917
CP always work
>>696931380
Which one is the white one?
>>696923917
Buy a cheap vr headset of amazon and enjoy virtual porn
>>696927853
are
you
fucking
kidding me?
seriously is this real life?
i can't describe with words the feelings i went through seeing this screenshot
i don't even know what's worse
this stupid bitch attempting to sell her SHIT on the internet as that's something fine
of the possibility that sad pathetic fatfucks actually contemplating the act of buying SHIT just because it fell from a "girl's" asshole
wow
just...ok enough internet for now i guess
It's basically the best thing in the existence. 4.5 billion years of planetary cycles and 3.5 billion years of evolution came together so that females could ingest a thing into their body, and internally change its chemical formula to make girly poo. All of existence is centered around this act of creation, and even those who don't see its purpose, who turn up their noses and scoff at the beauty which is shitting girls are only playing their part in the galactic cycle to make the most refined, delicious butt munchable substance in all of creation.
It truly is the purpose of life, y'know.
>>696931721
>>>/Reddit/
>>696923917
search for this on pixiv:
変態 OR 肉体改造
>>696931721
Not trying, doing. And not contemplating, buying. Everyone has their thing dick. Not everyone likes to jerk off to pictures of sonic giving tails a reach around like you.
>>696931931
Chek'd
>>696931999
And rekt'd
>>696923917
Got to an asian massage parlor, and have someone masturbate you. It's pretty cheap, and it's kinda nice.
Play with your butthole
>>696923917
>>696931721
> stupid bitch attempting to sell her SHIT
she's far from stupid. she has a backlog of orders. why flush it down the toilet when you know there are guys who want to buy it? she doesn't have to work really. go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food,
>>696932165
i hope you die asphyxiated with a lump of her shit lodged inside your trachea you sad, SAD excuse of a human being
>>>696932353
>hurr consecutive numbahs
>>696932801
I don't have to buy it sad, sad anon. I have a gf that does it.
You, on the other hand, will die alone, most likely by your own hand.
>>696932801
You must be 18 years of age or older to use this website
>>696932789
Now imagine an entire economy based on that system. Call it "the universe." She's living the most enlightened lifestyle a denizen of reality can.
>>696932789
>>696932789
70 dollars isnt enough to live on fyi anon.
>>696933342
How much do you make per shit, 5 bucks?
>>696932801
u know you want to eat this hot girl-turd filled with corn. you're so mad about people buying girl-turds, it's obvious you want one too, you're just in denial
>>696933124
your hand doesn't count as gf anon
>you'll die alone
damn this is some top grade projection
can i rent you for my datashow presentation next monday?
>>696933219
what are you doing here?
>>696923917
OP all these suggestions are humorous, but seriously what you need to do is make a butt plug out of ginger root. The feeling is like no other. Best part is when the effects wear off just shave off a layer to recharge it
>>696933342
If you take a shit 4 times per week and sell it I'd argue you'd make a $50 profit including shipping and tax. Supplement that with webcam income and a 20 hour per week part time job and you'll be fine.
>>696933822
I'm here to tell underage sperglords like you to migrate back to plebbit
>>696923917
I'm not here to contribute in the slightest, just here to test some shit and happened to pick the worst thread to do so
>>696933342
if she produces lets say 5 turds a week and sells them all for $70 that's $18,200 a year. Plus she videos herself pooping and sells the videos which she can sell forever, I bet she's bringing in 40k a year just from pooping
>>696934107
keep telling yourself that
>>696933822
By data show do you been when you show your binder of yugioh cards to your mom while she sighs, thinks about that abortion she could've had for the millionth time, and pours herself the 4th glass of wine of the day?
>>696933725
Man I really wish I could find her whole videos without paying.
>>696934642
This is now a whine thread.
I really like Arbor Mist. It's like, the cheap knock-off brand of soda wine, and it's so god damned good. I drink it in public, and I bring it to parties, because I don't even care. Shit be poppin'.
>>696934987
Are you like, a 17 year old girl?
>>696934987
it's been a whine thread this entire time. ~__~
>>696935097
Mentally, yes. In every other way... not so much.
>>696935328
How's that going?
>>696934987
ok
>>696924370
>>696925450
>>696925982
>>696926294
>>696927286
https://www.erowid.com/experiences/exp.php?ID=82659
Long term usage is probably not advisable. Be safe guise.
>>696935471
It's whatever. Aside from a crippling addiction to everything Lady Gaga is a part of, and my choice of alcoholic drinks at social gatherings, my condition mostly goes unnoticed, and I don't bring it up unless someone specifically asks. It does make it difficult to drive stick sometimes, tho...
>>696935629
Ohyah, for sure.
Disclaimer: Diphentripping is a sketchy ass way to get high that some anonymous fucker on 4chan told you to do, and it's probably a really bad idea, or whatever. But aside from that, and the horrific nightmarish, soul ripping hallucinations you may or may not experience, it's fucking fantastic.
>>696936209
See you ruined it right there cuz no 17 year old girl likes lady gaga
>>696932392
lost the sauce for this, have it?
>>696937576
>not being in high school around 2007-2011
>>696937903
Use Google you nigger
>>696938118
... Then they wouldn't be 17 anymore would they stupid?
>>696938323
>>696938281
H O T
>>696938165
pic related
>>696938303
did you miss the point?
dumping my old reaction folder
>>696938728
Hey it's me both times, 1. Use Google better 2. It was a joke, it was kinda funny too.
>>696923917
ICY HOT, Extra Strength if you can get it.
Get yourself hard, then get a big handful of Icy Hot, rub it on your cock, your balls and if you're feeling adventurous put a dab on your asshole. I guarantee that you'll cum fucking buckets.
>>696925982
kek i use to do this all the time in high school
>>696939251
then you really are retarded
Desu away
>>696938323
Where did you find this image? I'm running out of sources for cartoon scat.
I know of Gurochan, Rule34, various Hentai sites, motherless, and imagefap, but where else can I find this stuff?
>>696928676
>That's a hot pic
>hot pic
>hot
just when you think you've seen everything the scatfags come out of the woodwork
>>696939637
http://scat.booru.org/
More pooping females.
desu . desu . . desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu . .. desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu . . ... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu .... . desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ...... . desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu .... .. desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ..... .. desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu .... .. desu desu . desu .. desu . .. desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu .... . desu ....... desu .. .... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ... .... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ... .. desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu .... ... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ... .. desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu .... ... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu .. .... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ... .. desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ... .. desu ....... desu ...... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu ..... desu ..... desu ....... desu .. .... desu desu . desu .. desu ... desu .... desu .... desu ..... desu ....... desu ...... desu
>>696939435
Nah, see the joke was he said 17 year old girl, but specifically from a different time period, so not like a current 17 year old girl, but 17 year old girls from that time period would be like 25 now, which was what I was calling attention to humorously.
Stupid.
>>696930047
while i'm aware that most girls do poo, the more attractive and petite ones don't do it with the same frequency, quantity or smell as 'average-to-ugly' women.
my life experience, and the women I've lived with have taught me that.
The desu spam is strangely refreshing.
>>696940003
asdf
>>696939989
that "joke" is autism
a u t i s i m
>too long to explain
>>696939827
Here you go desu
>>696940078
viva la desu, desu ~
Two oldies but goodies:
Take a plastic bag, add vaseline or lube, throw it in the microwave for 10 seconds or so on low, just enough such that the vaseline heats up to warm. Roll back the resealable part if its a ziplock and then put it in-between the couch cushions (preferably so you can be on your knees and fuck it). Best part is you can cum inside and seal it up to throw away or keep.
The other method is the banana peel. Just heat up the empty peel, add a splash of lube, and have at her. Makes your dick smell good too.
>>696939801
I'm in heaven thanks Anon
>>696940003
fgt
>>696939579
Wow, Desu~ ??? Is this a furry thread? GOD DAMMIT-- NEWFAGS HERE DON'T EVEN KNOW TO PUT DESU IN FURRY THREADS ANYMORE
>>696940078
>>696940156
It's not though. It's really just a basic subversion of expectation.
>>696940448
>damage control
>>696940003
faggot
>>696933725
lol that's not a real poo.
I hardly believe that most 'poo porn' is real. pretty easy to shove a brown mixture in your bung, and 'defecate' it out. oooh she's eating it! (brownie mix). oooh she's playing with it! (playdought).
>>696940448
>im still funny u guise
>>696940532
>Had to have the joke explained to him
>I'll just greentext so 4chan thinks I'm smart
>>696940756
its poop anon.
>>696940885
>pic related
>>696940862
Notice how you did the same thing?
>>696941059
D A M A G E C O N T R O L L
>>696940003
Desu
>>696941182
Aw where'd your meme arrow go did you drop it?
Might I suggest creating "Infinite Mirror Masturbation Porn", namely, you make a video jacking off to a girl jacking herself off, and then another does the same to yours, ad infinitum. After about 50 pass arounds, post results.
>>696941235
can you stop shit posting in our shit thread?
>>696941059
maybe I actually am 25 irl
>>696941289
>Le epic meemee arrows
>xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>>696941341
Obviously.
>>696941324
>>696940756
that's real estrogen laden girl-turd bud
>>696941448
Oh hey look you found them!
>>696940915
it's only real poop in your stupid comics you sperglord
>>696941592
no
anyone could shove a snickers up their pooper, add some peanuts, and "poo it out". but it's not real in most of those videos.
>>696941292
This would actually be one of the most interesting, productive things ever done with porn. I'm guessing at a certain point, ayy lmaos would join in. They love fractals, and infinite group meditation stuff.
>>696940756
>pretty easy to shove a brown mixture in your bung, and 'defecate' it out.
why go to all that trouble? much easier to just take a shit
Seriously, it's the best stuff for masturbation.
>>696941626
>not realizing the extent a fetish can push a person to do.
>>696940756
It's poop, anon.
>>696940756
I don't know what kind of snickers you been eatin', but these girls are shitting 100% genuine, pure unadulterated feminine poop.
>>696942291
the last of me desu pics, desu~
>>696941958
i'm not sure which sites you've seen girls seen girl shit vids. lezpoo was fake. a lot of the brazilian ones are fake. some of the ones on joy angeles were fake. college girls pooping was real. the ones on the scatshop site are real. you haven't seen many scat vids if you think they are all fake
http://thisvid.com/videos/6-poops/
>>696942473
wow her diet must be horrible.
>>696942194
>>696942473
>>696942577
no. unless you're there, you don't know. same goes for me too. we'll never know for sure.
>>696942811
as disgusting it was to see that, her diet lacks fiber and water, and its high in iron.
>>696942817
go take a shit retard, and tell us it doesn't look like that. Are you>>696941595
>>696941626
because you're all equally retarded
>>696942817
I don't think you understand, dude. I've spent like half an hour every day watching videos of these girls pooping, since I was old enough to fap. I know most of these models by name, and I have a pretty good idea of what they had to eat the night before.
So I don't know if I'm retarded, but I don't know any good places for good scat porn.
>>696943349
Search vk video on googs. You might have to use a phone number to create an account to see most of their vids, but at the moment you can actually get some of these videos sold on scat site there for freesies.
>>696943196
no. unless you or I were there to smell it, it just doesn't make sense.
that's beyond disgusting. now if it were brownie batter, and the models are getting paid - then sure, "poo" all over!
>>696943124
do not respond to me again in this thread.
>>696923917
You showed a picture of poopies.
>>696944067
>>696928881
Id probably eat it.
>>696923917
Here you go buddy.
>>696929542
Can we evolve to perform hyperscat too? That'd be great.
>>696946819
Sure. Whatever mang.
Look at this gorgeous creation. That's the epitome of life, right there.
>>696925752
Wow how did you make a backwards /b/?
>>696947597
That wasn't even that thick...
>>696947597
I would gladly eat that girl-turd
>>696929790
Impressive
![suiseiseki[2].jpg](https://cdn.randomarchive.com/b/image/1464/519/1464519052035.jpg "suiseiseki[2]")
