Best of 4chan
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Best of 4chan
Dis gon b a gud thread
>>696902964
Holy fuck
>>696903730
You're ok, guy
>>696903855
>>696903730
I've got mixed feelings about this
>>696903167
Yes, yes it will be (-:
I wish you could upload more than one file per post.
>>696903167
ikr
>>696902964
Damn, that is awesome
>>696904198
Same guy that posted this here. This is quite possibly my favorite greentext of all time, because goddamn does it hit close to home.
>>696904198
holy fucking kek i was in tears
Does anyone have the sausage out of the window thread that happened at the beginning of the month?
>>696905387
im fucking doin this later, this is the legit number right?
>>696906932
idk, its from 2012
>>696903858
(.)<
>>696907230
kek nvm i just searched their page, hope that story is real
>>696904198
wow
LSD trip stories now ×_×
Try putting the type of acid you took as well and micage
>>696907965
Type of acid lol
>>696904121
But alas, the thread appears to be naught but a dream now.
My time to shine!!
>>696908174
Baaaaaahaaaa wtf
>>696907760
It is. I was there prank calling too, after a while he just stopped answering the phone or would just hang up on you the second you sounded suspicious. There were more in spring of 2014 as well
still shinin
>>696908480
fucking cash kek
dick
>>696908174
kek
>>696907189
You retard
>>696908243
4chan did a good thing that day
now who says this site is shit
>>696905492
this is incredible
not normally one for anal humour but
>>696902781
>ending it because dad isnt talking to you.
How about just doing this shit again, with speakers, moaning even louder.
Then YOU dont speak to your dad if hes gonna be a bitch about it.
That's what i'd do because:
Your mom should respect your private fucking space. If she insist on being a control freak just break the ice by repeating shit like this. She'll eventually be too grossed out to monitor you 24/7.
Your dad is fucking full fletched autist. Like damn, he's giving you the silent treatment? Thats a real healthy relationship u got there. Dads are supposed to be pissed off or laughing at your demise for something like this. You should give him a few rounds of emotional breakdowns and tell him that he's the reason you're a degenerate piece of shit.
>>696909592
That's a screencap from 5 days ago you fucking retard
>>696909592
>Autismo engages
>>696905492
This story is SHIT LOL
>>696905994
That greentext is quite possibly my favorite one ever. It just hits so close to home.
>>696909730
So what? I wasnt talking to the dude who wrote the green text. I was talking to you fucking cunt knuckles. I know most of u have daddy issues and i'm trying to help you spoiled fuck. I'm spoon feeding you reality checks and you respond like this? Go fuck yourself.
>>696903478
funny to say, but all commands concerning slavery are no longer usable, because a christian is obliged to obey the law of his country, as Jesus said
>Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.
Christianity 1: Athiests:-9999
>>696910196
And the rest of the questions?
>>696905492
There a part 2?
>>696908111
kekd an dchecked
>>696903858
WTF
The best 4chan story is The girl in the Lolita dress
>>696911814
Interested.
>>696912039
It's long as fuck
>>696912130
I got time, drop it.
>>696912130
Still interested
i have one that happened to me the other day
>be me
>in my room, which is downstairs
>been having major liquid shits for a few days
>decide to risk a fart
>badidea.jpg
>feel liquid shit running down my leg
>it's warm
>Shit starts leaking out of my jeans and in to my chair
>ohShit.exe
>grab some cloths out of my wardrobe
>stealthaly make a move into the living room, where my parents and brother is
>"did you fart anon"
>"yeah haha"
>while walking up stairs to the bathroom i feel it running into my sock
>fuck
>turbo mode engaged to the bathroom
>there no toilet roll
>shit, now what
>mum has pads
>wipe my shit with pads
>they aren't flushing
>fuck
cont?
>>696912247
>>696912254
I don't have it. I'm on mobile :(
>High school
>Playing D&D
>DMing for a group of kids I know from band class
>They get in a street fight with some gangsters in game
>Blue dragonborn barbarian rages while using his breath weapon
>Creates a protective magnetic field around himself
>Creates an explosive wave of lightning from his trident, killing two of the enemies
>Suplexes a third one, breaking his skull
>Last one runs for his fucking life
>Party's half-angel cleric with pink boxers, Warfstachio, snipes him with Guiding Bolt
>Drunken drow fighter comes out of the bar they were in...
>...He manages to headshot the survivor with his crossbow, killing him instantly
More?
>>696912585
juts pre write the whole thing and stop writing "cont?" for replies
>>696912690
Welp.
>>696912815
bump
>>696913022
>Be me
>Girlfriend 6 months
>Bout to get dick wet
>Boyfriend 6 months now
>>696912585
>spot my brothers hoodie next to the sink
>i have to smuggle the pads out of here
>walk down the stairs with my brothers hoodie wrapped around shit stained pads and cloths
>"Hey, anon. What are you doing with my hoodie? give it to me"
>ImFucked.png
>"i'll give you it tomorrow, i need to use it tonight"
>"fine, wash it first though, you stink"
>get to my room
>what can i do with this shit covered shit?
>decide to climb out the window to reach the outside bin
>when i'm out there i use my skills i learned from watching Archer and become a secret agent
>put shit in the bin
>mission success
>how am i going to get back into the house?
>i guess i'll just
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>>696913602
Wew
>>696913602
That was bad and you should feel bad
>>696912723
I love /tg/texts but they're better in longform and on /tg/
Bump. Need moar
>>696913602
Hmm...yeah you failed..I think it was the timing and you would need a better cover story..one that engages more.. full marks for effort though, keep it up, maybe edit it a bit to make it more exciting ie involve a hot sister (or something these b'tards love) and reuse it in the future.
>>696914705
I'll take that as a no, then?
>>696903855
ok, luigio.
>>696914509
riiiiight
>>696915074
sh-should have jiggled
>>696906731
Kek
>>696908174
>be me
>at work
>read this
Maximumkeks.webm
>coworker looks in my ditection
>even more keks
Thanks for this. Needed a good laugh today
>>696903879
I don't get it, his parents caught him jerking off like everyone else so he decides to run away?
>>696916051
>in his house
>his dad's porn folder
it looked like he was fapping to his mom and dad doing it.
>>696915125
Holy crap. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard.
>>696904864
Saw this with a different filename that said "fucking spawn campers", lost with all my might
>>696910457
tl;dr
but that concerning not touching dead pig skin concerns issue of avoid contact with its blood. Rugby ball is made of leather, which is chemical-processed skin; thus no longer remains of blood on it. And if you still insist, you can use even more "kosher" rugby balls made of leather from cows or other animals, if you find those.
And that concerning planting two different crops in the same field: according to rational method of agriculture if you plant two different kinds of plants, you plant them in separate areas, thus creating in fact two fields. If you mixes them randomly, they will not develop okay, and it will be probably impossible to harvest them. You really should be punished as idiot then.
Yes, wearing garments made of two different kind of thread if forbidden, but this has to be accepted symbolically: it dates back to offering made by Cain and Abel, one gave linen, the other wool. God perceived Cain offering as worse in quality. So, Cain's offering is perceived as evil, and Abel's - as good. This means that you shall not mix evil and good i.e making evil things to achieve good goals.
It is also a commandement, that Kohen garment should been made from mixed thread, wool and linen, so it is impossible to perceive it in other way.
Christians: - 2; Athiests: -99999 and not proud
>>696914979
>>696914411
It actually is a true story, i just didn't know how to end it, and i'm clearly fucking autistic
>>696912690
Then get on here with the computer and post it, now I'm interested.
>>696915125
dude i just keked so hard, haven't laughed this hard in a while
>>696902781
best of 4chan and started with garbage
>>696913022
that's not how acid works lol.
>>696917574
>>696917935
Oh shit, I just noticed my trips. Good day.
>>696917888
>>696918090
>>696903694
Holy shit
>be me 15
>sell weed
>make 100 bucks a week. (aprox.)
>one day at school find keys
>curious.jpg
>those where the keys to the classrooms
>rent them anonimously
>make 800 bucks in 3 months
>family gives me 200 bucks dor christmas.
Total winnings 1900 bucks.
Last year:
>be 19
>repeated 2 times so still at secondary school
>still dealing
>still renting
>decide to bring it to next level
>rent classrooms ay higher price and to outsiders.(mostly to have sex).
>end of year family gives me 400 bucks for passing secondary.
Aprox winnings 2000 bucks.
Today
>work at 24h grocery store.
>win about 30k a year
have 15k in bank account and let my family pay college.
Should I start paying my college or act like a poorfag so family pays for me?
>>696918562
you should start paying your college
>>696914998
this one cracks me up every fucking time i read it
>>696903647
dis cant be real
>>696903858
This was surprisingly worth reading
>>696918562
15k is worth a lot of tendies
>>696918148
>>696923482
>>696911645
>The great battle flail of L'unch
Cracks me up everytime
>>696915125
Oh deare
>>696923557
>>696923625
>>696923714
one of my favorites
>>696923800
>>696923875
>>696902964
horseshit
Moar?
>>696903858
He's not the hero we deserve, he's the hero we need
>>696924594
Oh shit, that might already be in this thread. Kinda just posting haphazardly from my 'best of /b/' folder
>>696924351
This is fucking gold
>>696904709
>>696904709
hahahahahaha!
>>696918033
Kek, been a while since I read the Chronicles of Neal. Good times.
>>696909074
Gave me the keks
>>696925166
I thought I had the one with the shitton of crows, half of which were fed and half of which were abused by the posting anon, resulting in crow wars, but apparently I don't have it.
If anybody got that lying around I'd be happy to snag it from you.
>>696925836
>>696925574
I once read it aloud to my freshman floor at college. Shit was jokes; I love the story of neal.
>bye pil
>>696914934
Well thats a shitty post
>>696926006
Damn, one off secret agent
>>696926172
>>696925940
MUY AIS
>>696926208
>>696926262
That's a fun post number, regardless of the lack of any true dubs
>>696926446
>>696908243
This makes me happy.
Sometimes I am thankful to have this site up.
>>696907189
are you retarded?
>>696926589
I've realized recently that I've been on 4chan longer than I haven't been on 4chan (since it's creation) and it always surprises me how much of this shit I was actually here for. Not all, obviously, but a lot of the good shit from the past 6.5 years.
>>696902964
I'll take
>shit that never happened
for 500
>>696926950
>>696927053
>>696926998
Thank you /b/rother.
World War Crow is one of my absolute favorite reads.
>>696927469
>>696927668
>>696927906
>>696928107
Wow, I forgot I had feels in this folder. Shit.
>>696909356
Anyone who is sain.
dunno if someone already posted this, but it's worth the read
>>696908243
>Find girl from omegle
>Not freaking out on how some one found you with a picture and first name
dumpin'
>>696909290
Why was he banned?
>>696928441
Got any more?
>>696928595
this is def worth the read if you have time.
>>696930278
why do you need a reason?
>>696930239
I am too drunk, somebody explain me the pic...
>>696931009
Curiosity?
>>696931187
Moot banned randoms back in the day sinply because they annoyed him. Good times
>>696903858
Worth half an hour reading
