>ITT: Weird things you think only you do. I'll start.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>ITT:
Weird things you think only you do.
I'll start.
I only date women so I can get to their fathers. I've orally diddled more dads in their sleep than you could ever imagine.
>>696581598
I pull pin worms out of my ass crack and chew on them. That''ll make the fuckers learn.
>>696581798
Boy howdy, anon, that sure is fascinating.
>>696581598
I need more of this.
>>696581798
How did you get pinworms anon and how do you know you have them?
>>696581798
classy anon
>>696582624
Not 100% sure but I think it's lana ivans. She does mfc / did hardcore porn
>>696582773
I've had them for over 8 years now. I got then from a holiday in Egypt.
>>696581598
I play Pokemon Go
I spit in customers drinks at weather spoons
I look at pictures of women with their clothes off.
>>696581598
ok i'll go.
when i masturbate i just rub a little to the right of the base of my penis. i havent actually touched my dick in i dont know how long.
>>696583674
are you gay or something?
>>696581598
I take 40mg of prozac,20mg of busporine,1 one a day mens vitamin, and 1200mg of fish oil,smoke a spliff, drink a coffee with a nip of rum every morning.
I doubt anyone takes that exact combo
>>696581598
I love snowballing a chick after she's blown me. I actually try and impregnate my girlfriends too.
>>696583897
Damn I just have my rum straight with no coffee, so close
I like corrupting men...especially cultivating masturbation addiction, and humiliating fetishes in previously normal males. the thought of them ruined and unable to fuck anymore is just ...
delightful
>>696582052
I put ketchup on my ham sandwiches.
>>696584322
So you're an average woman. Big deal.
>>696584749
Ive done that. I put ketchup on everything.
When i prder food with ketchup on it i bring my own to add more.
Ketchup is god tier sauce
sauce on op
>>696581598
If she is lactating, that's hot as fuck.
If not, it's still reasonably hot.
>>696584950
Oh yeah well, I put peanut butter on my pancakes.
>>696585322
B-but... That's only FOR WAFFLES!
>>696583674
Interesting, how do you get started on that hobby? I might give it a try.
>>696585419
Waffles are degenerate.
>>696581598
I have a weird fetish where I can to girls that hang their tongues out in pics, I dunno why but it's so hot
>>696583897
Only difference for me is I consume a manly 1500mg fish oil. Close but no cigar for me.
>>696583662
literally why would he do that
>>696581598
i fart into my hand and smell it
anybody have the source on ops gif
I put ice in my hot food to cool it down
I self mutilated when I was younger so I would have interesting scars I could tell fake stories about to seem interesting and now I just regret it
>>696585880
We talking about the spitting or the licking of the beasts ass?
>>696585757
You are not the only one, Fucking tongues are hot dude.
>>696583777
that's not that weird. There's a nerve cluster there. I guarantee other people do that too.
>>696586369
I can hardly tell if he spit there but that aside why the ass eating
I take pictures of weird stuff in the toilet and show it to people at work so they think I have weird poop. Like one time it was a cup of moldy coffee I pored in the toilet
>>696586590
cow blowing google it
>>696584749
so do i
>>696585868
I do something similar but I also have a cigar after my coffee
Come on someone has to have the source!
>>696581598
I post lies on the internet
>>696586876
Ok so I at least understand the idea behind it then, but why right after she fucking shit?!?!?!? I mean if he had just walked up after and didn't notice is one thing but dude just stood there and watched that shit come out then puts hits nose right up in it. Cow literally even looks back and gives him a "bro wtf, really now?!?" kinda look.
>>696581598
I put peanut butter on graham crackers
I improvise an obituary for the millions of my dying sperm every time I ejaculate. I find myself doing it in my head sometimes even when I don't mean to. I guess it's because my parents told me that I was always committing murder and killing my future babies. I realize now they were just saying that because they are religious freaks and they tried to convince me to stop masturbating. I never stopped, it only made me feel bad after every time I blew my load. And now it's just a habit for me.
Sometimes I'd stay up late at night wondering about all of the potential scientists and geniuses that I've wasted for nothing more than a quick wank. But then I start thinking, I could've been the future father of a murderer or a rapist who could've been running rampant amongst society if I hadn't flushed them down the drain. So I don't feel too bad.
>>696586876
>>696587521
Also, I get that they are dumb niggers but really even they couldn't invent the bellow to blow air up there for that reason? I mean its a simple idea to blow air and it would be far more effective then sticking your face up to it and blowing into its fucking cooch
>>696586210
might as well follow through with it and tell those fake stories to people you don't think will be around in your life long enough to matter. It's perfect for picking up girls for sure as a conversation opener. You can start with "wanna know how I got these scars?"
I make my gf not shower for a month. Then I harvest the smegma in her labia.
pic kind of related (imagine that x 100).
>>696588245
don't look at this picture or your mother will die tonight
>>696586380
Oh thank god I thought I was a weirdo. Also I just realized that my post made it look like I had a stroke...can someone dump hot tongue pics
I read through my gf's fb messages with ex boyfriends and jerk off to her being a slut. Favorites are her describing what it feels like when he's in her ass, her promising to deepthroat him all night, and her telling him she loves it when he cums in her mouth.
The most intense orgasms but i have trouble looking at my GF for a few days
My car has a 6 speed manual transmission but I rarely use the 5th one I walk go from 4th directly to 6th.
>>696583674
thats messed up
why would you do something like that?
>>696581598
Aem it's just.. ... ... What???
>>696581598
anyone got source for OP post?
i bite my toenails
>>696584749
you are a disusting human being
>>696585419
agreed anon. ever tryed pb&j on a rice cake? god tier
>>696584749
I put ketchup on soup
I put pins through my toes then cum on them... got moar pics if interested
>>696581598
I always wanted sauce of this
>>696584322
U waste time?
I always smell my socks when I pull them off
>>696584322
Masturbation is off limits! Leave those poor guys alone. Is there no code of the Internet anymore?
>>696591284
/thread
>>696584322
U ruin other men....
Sometimes I poop in the shower and the I throw it to the toilet,.... Sometimes I miss tho.
>>696591284
Moar
>>696591284
Ahem! No thanks.
>>696584322
So u record guys masturbating? Sounds better how u say it lol. Faggot.
>>696591284
Chew the inside of my cheek. I got lines of chewed up flesh where I do it, have for years.
I masturbate every single day,. Maybe more than once a day since puberty,.. I'm 31 now
>>696588245
Ur gf is homeless?
>>696584322
>anymore
>implying there was a before
... good lord
I put ketchup on scrambled eggs.
>>696592582
He has to pretend to be a woman hours every night too.
>>696593049
I mean...
>>696592614
Same bro. Getting braces helped me stop mostly. I do a lot of licking/pressing my tongue against teeth in particular orders an up till certain numbers.
>>696583897
are you functionnal after that?
>>696591284
>>696593049
Someone recorded me masturbating one time on a cam site and posted it on YouTube for me to get down. These faggots are the scum of the earth no question. What's the point? I masturbate?
>>696594414
This was when I was 19 though so at least I got smarter
>>696591284
...
>>696583395
>I've had them for over 8 years now
Holy shit Anon, go to the fucking pharmacy and get some damn medicine.
>>696594414
T'was me! And I'd do it again for I am THE RUSESTER!!!!
>>696581598
Im 39 and married, and I rape my 25yo 8/10 roommate sometimes 3 times a week when her diabetes causes her to pass out unconscious.
sometimes when i'm chillin naked or something and my package is warm and at its most saggy, i flop my cock and balls over my wrist and say in a brittish accent " i'm dick wristwatch"
>>696591284
You win
>>696583395
They are easily cured, dumbass. Just get the pills that make your shit bright red. Talk to your doctor.
>>696592614
I do that all the time, its basically a tic now.
I like the feel of the flesh between my teeth.
>>696596233
10 internets
>>696595625
U ruined my teaching career Why?
>>696596233
If your age is on the cock
you are ready to flop
>>696596048
whoa dude...crazy.
sometimes I'll masturbate before I go to sleep
Anything in life that i do, whatever that single action is, I have to do it to the number 15, or at the very least to an odd number.
e.g
I put my hands on something, i then take my right hand and put it back down on whatever im grabbing, so that i have touched it an odd number of times.
if im wiggling my toes or cracking my knuckles, i finish on counting it 15 times.
Count the fucking words in between the commas and full stops. ALL ending in odd numbers - its a fucking weird obsession.
>>696596048
Your married almost 40 and still have a roommate, shits not working out eh
Sometimes I masturbate to fellating and licking bananas like they are dicks.
>>696598312
Disgusting?
>>696591284
woah wasnt expecting that
I piss in the sink.
Faster, cleaner, not much water used.
>>696599340
Not the only one.
Make sure you run a little bit of water through after.
>>696598105
But then doesn't your left hand feel unEEEEEVEN
Fucking gross m8
>>696599340
I never thought of that
That's actually pretty smart
>>696599627
I sure do, there's always sprinkling because of the impact no matter the height, so I run water all over the sink to flush it, and also wash my peewee with water instead of using toilet paper.
>>696591284
MOAR
>>696600000
>>696598105
OCD possibly
>>696591284
>>696598483
Motherfucker, how do you and the rest of the trolls here come to a conclusion like that after one post, do the circumstances matter to you at all, or can you just not resist your autistic urge to talk shit to someone you dont even know? You sooooo missed the mark on this. In fact if you the circumstances and what my life was like, you'd kill yourself.
I literally have the life you could only imagine. I engage in this deviant behavior because sometimes when you have everything you could possibly want, you get kinda bored. Not to mention I can afford the best lawyers money can buy
Now kindly fuck off
>>696584950
Are you me?
>>696600794
Lmao holy fucking shit grandpa take a chill pill
Did this faggot just start a new copypasta?
>>696598312
What happened?
I dip my McD's fries in mustard instead of ketchup.
>>696581598
DOO DAH DOO DOO!
>>696600794
What a fucking fag
>>696601165
I just googled it and regret it. No sleep for me
>>696591284
>>696600794
But you'll lose the case
>>696601228
he is literally pierre incarnate
>>696599340
I used to do it 2 until my gf noticed.
I used to suck my own dick.
>>696588245
Bro wtf that made me want to vomit
>>696583797
>>696587410
>>696591284
U still here anon? We would all love to hear more about this. How did you stumble upon this fetish? What is it that you find satisfying about it? Please share moar.
>>696601247
Fuck you, mr maturity
>>696601080
I was certain this was a copypasta
i rub my dick on a pillow to masturbate, not like a waifu just a pillow and i rub my dick on it
>>696581598
SAUCE SAUCE SAUCE SAUCE SAUCE
>>696601747
Hey that's mildly adequate
>>696591284
M80 wat
>>696601877
U live for nothing but homo sex
>>696583395
fucking /b/
>>696587942
Pretty sure all of your sperm are exactly the same so it makes 0 difference.
>>696583674
Do these women have penises? Are their penises feminine? These are important fucking questions anon.
I go to my community Jacuzzi and let the water jets hit the side/bottom of my dick and it feels really amazing.
Anyone else done that?
>>696584322
>cultivating masturbation addiction
>Uh...yeah! I masturbate all the time because my old girlfriend brainwashed me. This is totally against my will and I want nothing to do with it.
>>696602580
I fapped in a jacuzzi once and it was amazing
>>696602920
Next time you are in one sit sideways and let the water jets hit the side/bottom of the tip of your dick its awesome
I get these bumps in the summer and i like to pop them. sometimes tiny amounts of dry pus will come out in long strands some times it's a spert of pus, it just feels nice that something is coming out of my skin
>>696584322
Ur not very bright
>>696603135
Ill try that when no ones around
>>696603209
>>696599340
I do it too. Not every time, but frequently.
>>696601480
Holy shit you people are fucking morons, you didnt even ask about the circumstances. You just immediately imagine yourself in this scenario, so you automatically assume there's major risk involved. Difference is you're retarded, and I dont leave shit to chance
Motherfucker, how do you and the rest of the trolls here come to a conclusion like that after one post, do the circumstances matter to you at all, or can you just not resist your autistic urge to talk shit to someone you dont even know? You sooooo missed the mark on this. In fact if you the circumstances and what my life was like, you'd kill yourself.
I literally have the life you could only imagine. I engage in this deviant behavior because sometimes when you have everything you could possibly want, you get kinda bored. Not to mention I can afford the best lawyers money can buy
Now kindly fuck off
>>696603739
Shut up already fag
>>696585757
Nothing beats a salivating tongue
If I am having a conversation with someone, and a thought on what I should say next crosses my mind, but I am absolutely certain of what the person will reply with word-for-word, I will stop talking. Sometimes just end it by going back to what I was doing or looking away and saying something like "that's weird" or "yeah definitely".
Every now and then I will let out that thought just to see what happens, and without fail what they say will have been what I predicted, and it pisses me the fuck off.
I cannot be friends with people this happens with because I am certain they are either in some fucked up shell, manipulative, or just a mindless predictable drone.
Motherfucker, how do you and the rest of the trolls here come to a conclusion like that after one post, do the circumstances matter to you at all, or can you just not resist your autistic urge to talk shit to someone you dont even know? You sooooo missed the mark on this. In fact if you the circumstances and what my life was like, you'd kill yourself.
I literally have the life you could only imagine. I engage in this deviant behavior because sometimes when you have everything you could possibly want, you get kinda bored. Not to mention I can afford the best lawyers money can buy
Now kindly fuck off
>>696600794
I don't understand. You have money but have a roommate because you have everything and are just bored? Sounds made up. Are you in loser denial or something
>>696592614
Same
>>696583797
I laughed more than I should have
I usually add peanut butter to my lunchmeat sandwiches. Sometimes I add jelly, too. It's so good
>>696581598
i dig the fuzz out of my butt crack, throw it at my down syndrome potato sister, and say its a spider.
>she gets playfully creeped out because she thinks its a fucking game
>she has no idea that im actually throwing balls of sweaty butt lent and ass hair
When I was in 5th grade I straightened out a staple and put it in my led pencil and used it to carve my initials on my arm and a little x on the top of my hand because I thought it would be cool as shit.
The next day teacher found out and I was sent to the office because they were concerned that I was suicidal when I really wasn't.
>>696592614
Similar here. I eat the outer most layer of cheek lining. Gets worse when I'm really hungry obviously lel.
>>696604130
Nice comeback 5th grade summerfag
>>696599340
Stone?
>>696592674
Literally becoming a problem for me but i cant stop.
>>696581598
>Be me
>People ask what music hear
>Say from everything a bit
>mfw i only hear german marching music
>>696591284
Im out, bye thread.
>>696591284
Stale pasta
>>696605408
40 year old badass spotted
>>696604535
I have a five bedroom house, and a 8/10 friend of a friend needs a place to stay. Really whys that so hard to comprehend?
>>696581598
I cook elbow noodles and canned diced tomatoes together.
Delicious
>>696581598
I love cute girls more than I love beautiful girls, I fall in love easier if shes cute rather than beautiful. Also if a girl with a cute face has her tits out, I tend to stare at her face instead.
>>696606683
I have a weird fetish where I like to lie to people on the internet too.
>>696606683
Every night I think about taking my wife out into the woods, donning a horse mask, raping her, beating her and stuffing every hole with a dead animal. Its the only way I can get to sleep at night.
>The worst part is how true this is.
>>696581598
I sleep with a copy of madden '04 on the pc over my bed
I'd say "fuck my sister" but her husband does that also
>>696588564
Savage.
>>696606683
> a poor men bill cosby
shut up child,school start back in a few weks
>>696587785
you are a fucking animal
>>696593010
Not bad at all.
Every morning for the past 3 years I've shat on the living room floor and blamed it on my wifes faggot ass dog. She always cleans it up and yells at the dog. I hate that fucking dog.
>>696585695
Agreed. Why eat waffles when you can have nice smooth fluffy pancakes.
>>696581798
Lmao some anon posted something like this probably a year ago... are you that same anon?
>>696608729
not making the dog eat it?
>>696604208
...or you're having polite conversation and polite conversation is quite often just going through the motions that everyone goes through all the time? It's called observing the niceties and everyone does this and we all get fucking tired of it too sometimes but it makes the world go round so get off your high horse faggot.
>>696600794
>
Trump?
>>696591284
>>696587785
But do you dip them in milk?
>>696590807
Beaner detected?
>>696583674
You sick fuck. Get help before you pull a Breivik.
>>696608729
If you die, she will realise.
That will be your legacy to her.
>>696598312
But the titties are god tier
>>696598312
Fuck that's hot as shit
>>696581598
SAUCE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
>>696605885
veri gud engrish
I have fanasties of being raped in front of my boyfriend
>I'll be out walking with my boyfriend after a party
>my boyfriend being the vigilant protector will notice were being followed by a large man in a hoodie
>I'll get scared since it's late and there's no one around
>finally enough is enough my boyfriend will stop and shout at him questioning his intentions
>the stranger will take off his goodie revealing his chocolate skin and evil grin
>his eyes full of lust and longing
>my boyfriend will immediately jump to my defense but how could he possibly win the black man towers over him, his muscles bulging with every move he makes through his thick jacket
>my boyfriend will fight valiantly shouting at me to run but I'll just stand there frozen in terror
>slowly he over powers him and begins to beat him senselessly
>finally after incapacitating my boyfriend he walks over to me with a grin on his face
>I try and fight him off but he's just too strong, with little to no effort he tears my dress and panties off
>I cry and beg him to stop but it just encourages him
>finally he'll drop his trousers revealing his long thick cock almost twice size of my boyfriend
>finally I give in, hoping once he's finished using me he'll rub off into the night
>he'll be rough slamming away into me while making savage grunting noises, I'll cry and beg him to stop but he won't care as he pounds away
>and I look to my boyfriend I'll notice he's awake and staring at me being fucked like animal he'll grit his teeth and do nothing but sob
>finally after he's done with me he'll walk off into the night never to be seen again
>>696612759
i ain't reading all that gay shit
>>696596048
Pics or bs
>>696601275
Seriously tho, plez tell.
>>696581598
I quite frequently electricute myself when on buses. It's for the attention mainly but i recently discovered I could ejaculate just by tensing my dick and balls over and over when I've got a bone. The combination of the 2 makes for a very interesting bus ride. 2 weeks ago (to this day in fact) I was up to my usual tricks on the local bus route. Thought to myself "fuck it". Gave myself a raging bone. Gave myself a shock and willingly fell to the floor. People gathering around me, all gawking to see the helpless shell which is my twitching body. Dick at full mast. I bust a full sack of premium, Grade A baby gravy out of the top of my shorts. At least 15 people watching me splooge myself. Fucking bliss. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that does this. That thought alone gives me da bone.
>>696585322
You make me sick.
Ok here I go, I like bus flashing to b&, teens, MILFs whatever as long as they are hot or cute, also I keep a profile at Uflash tv
Worst thing I did was to ejaculate sitting next to this girl while she saw me, such was my surprise when I realized she wasn't alone.
I can only masturbate by humping pillows. I'm a guy. I don't think it's normal
>>696614282
either b8 or mentally ill
>>696614282
why?
>>696600794
ok anon
>>696614469
No lie. Usually when I finally cum I'm not even hard
>>696614282
As stated in another comment I'm usually not even hard when I cum
I usually masturbate to thoughts of younger teen girls finding me shrunken down and then using me as a dildo
>>696614573
that is strange. you dont like doing it proper? i get humping the pillow, ill sometimes wake up in the morn and find im bangin my pillow. but then i just roll over and finish the job
>>696614920
>>696614920
what the fuck anon
>>696585322
Pancakes are just bread so that not that weird
>>696583674
fucks wrong with you?
>>696590490
>agreed anon. ever tryed pb&j on a rice cake? god tier
ping pong ching choy
>>696615014
I've never jacked off normal, humped pillows from before puberty. Jacking off normal doesn't really do anything for me I just don't cum
>>696588518
poor dude, or cuck
>>696591284
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>696591284
just how did you find this fetish?
>>696615204
post pic of one of your favorite pillows with timestamp
>>696615087
Thats my reasoning but ppl who see me do it always act like its the weirdest shit ever.
>>696615353
The 4chan browser I use in my phone always crashes when I try to post a pic but my favorite pillow is the one with the toughest corner because it rubs against my cock the best
>>696586516
Never heard that one
>>696581598
I like men 5+ older than me
>>696615650
>tough corners
I love to smell my friends used panties
>>696614282
>>696614573
>>696614920
>>696615204
>>696615650
we might have another tile boy on our hands here
>>696615650
download the fucking app then
>>696614920
im genuinely curious what a psychologist would say about that.
i cant even begin to psychoanalyze that
>>696615955
What's a tile boy
>>696615928
Don't we all
>>696616053
please be bait
I pretend the bubbles on the top of my toilet water when I piss are townsfolk and my penis is a dragon spraying them with fire.
>>696616053
You are.
>>696615987
I'm using chan for 4chan
Idk if there's any other browser
>>696616053
weird fetish where you fap to tile patterns and blow ur load on benches.
>>696616171
Genuinely not, I'm assuming it's something like the jizz box guy or the mattress guy?
>>696616118
Tru.
Instead of dipping cookies in milk I dip them in either OJ or water
>>696616360
Nah I only blow my load in sweatpants
>>696592614
I do the exact same shit. i also bit my lips a lot of they are basically fucked unless i plaster chap stick on them 24/7.
>>696600999
underrated trips
>>696610888
>but do you dip them in milk
no
milk is fucking gross
>>696616694
I just take my sock off and use it like a condom
>>696599340
Califag here, do it to combat drought
>>696617179
I've found it easier to just jizz in my boxers and sweatpants then just take them off and clean up and put clean boxers on.
I take a bite out of a brownie and while I'm chewing take a swig of some orange juice
>>696613201
Its a website that has some picture pop up in the background (its mostly hidden by a block of text) and incredibly loud screaming.
>>696584950
me too,
I used to lie on my stomach while flaccid and vigorously hump the bed. Even now it makes me cum while staying flaccid.
>>696585880
it's to make them poop
I like my waffles with a slice of American cheese on them. And syrup.
>>696599340
Same. I feel like a fucking degenerate, but I do it because I'm kinda tall and my dick is broken. I can't piss in a single stream. It always divides into like three and it gets everywhere. It's embarrassing that it's either that or piss sitting down like a bitch
>>696606683
shut the fuck up and go ask mom for some tendies
Whenever I see ants I get triggered and turn into a psychomaniac stopping at nothing to see them die.
I fucking hate faggot ants.
>>696609238
I full on expected shovel dog
>>696583674
Fucking savage.
>>696612759
Okay fag
>>696586050
only if im in bed or the shower
>>696591284
