Your favorite animal is now hell-bent on killing you. You are placed exactly where your favorite animal normally lives (for example: if your favorite animal is a lion you are now in the middle of a savanna with said lion nearby).
How fucked are you?
pic related
(I'm fucked beyond fucking.)
Hippopotamus. I'm fucked
I'm safe AF
>>696113657
My favorite animal isn't predatory towards humans. It's a fennec.
>>696113657
>beyond fucked
Think i'd be getting fucked. This is now a gfur thread.
Are giraffes particularly dangerous?
Either corvids or cuttlefish.
The corvids I could placate with some food. The cuttlefish, well now I am underwater so fuck.
Fucking Panther.
>>696113657
Blobfish, pressure would kill me from water
I'd have trouble fighting it because they're beautiful but.. I wouldn't be too fucked. Maybe get it's beak through one of my fingers but thats it.
>>696114008
Have you seen them fight? Crazy mother fuckers
>>696113958
"Go back to Second Life, furfag."
~Brandon
>>696114480
summerfag
>>696113657
Cat.
I live in my house. I can close a door they can't open and be safe.
I'd kill myself just to make it happy.
Sloth.
I fall from tree and die of of dehydration while crawling around in the jungle looking for help.
Sloth looks on causally.
Penguins won't kill me, but I'll freeze to death.
>>696114480
>>696114532
>>696113958
You're all fags.
>>696113657
Hyena. Well I either get eaten or get aids
A rat can't kill you right
Pic related, my rat
>>696114632
Make a new video Killian.
>>696114798
No rat
>>696114798
>>pic related
>no pic
Magpies. So Australia? I already live there. Just a long walk back.
>>696113657
dog, im fine
>>696114798
You lied to us.
Snek
Depends what kind of snek
>>696114798
Forgot pic
Snowy owl so.... I die of hypothermia while it pecks at me?
I might be ok?
>>696113657
sloth, im fucked as long as i keep walking
>>696114931
>dog
>im fine
Anon has never seen a pitbull. Or any large dog.
>>696115012
Rats are rad. I had 3
>>696113657
Good thing manatees cant do shit
>>696115079
One kick from a Zebra can kill a lion. You. Are. Fucked.
>>696115079
A zebra? Mate Zebras are like angry fucked up horses and you were just teleported into a herd of them. You are super fucked.
>whale
Yeah, I'm pretty fucked. Worth it for the obituary though.
>>696115152
If a dog locks its jaws on you, just shove a finger up its ass. It'll let go. True story because they said it on TV.
>>696113657
My bike might get stolen
I'm fucked
>>696115168
We have 5
I like cats
>>696115465
You'll get nigger-slammed before he steals your bike, though. They're ruthless killers, remember.
>>696113657
This can hurt.
>>696115607
Yeah RIP dude. If it doesn't kill you the infectious bite sure will.
i might be fucked i might not .depends if i run or not tbh.
>>696115837
Found the nigger.
RUN!!!!
>>696113657
not in the least bit fucked
>>696115751
Is that a funnel web
>>696113657
Wolverines. So I'm in the cold with those demon raccoons.
>>696115934
Anon, the wolf is supposed to be "hell-bent on killing you". You are fricked AND fucked.
>>696116150
god dammit.
>>696115751
RIP anon it was nice knowing you
>>696113657
well I am unlikely to be killed by penguins... however I am also unlikely to escape Antarctica in my underwear...
>>696113657
me and you both man, sharks as well.
I'm basically fucked with all of them.
Hippos? Yep
Gorillas? Yep
Walruses? Yep
Pigs? If it's a large boar, than yep
>>696113657
Manatees will hug me to death <3
>>696116387
Harambe might not be much of a problem these days.
>>696113657
I'm pretty dead, there isn't a mammal or bird on this earth that I don't like except the hairless ones or monkeys.
So most of the animals existing will be destroying me.
>>696116150
SUMMERFAAAAAAG
Penguins.
Solo I can kill em, easy.(troubles in the water)
But in a colony, totally fucked.
>>696113657
I'm fucked
>>696114356
dude... you are so fucked...
first thing that hellbird does is scream, louder than you'd ever expect.. you think it's a warcry, but no... it's a call for help.
from the trees around you hundreds of these jolly bright murderous fucks descend on you.
those beaks are meant to break open nuts, you soon find that they hook through flesh and break bone just as easily... give one of the sadistic fuckers a 2x4 and in a couple hours he could reduce it to splinters...
sure, you can hit them, you may kill a few.. but they mob you, and you die, colorful and screaming, like a gay pride parade of pain.
>>696116445
cold-blooded killer
>>696116068
I don't think there's such a thing as a funnel web crab
>>696116709
*thousands of penguin honks*
>>696114798
Put the rat in a metal bucket on your belly and heat the bucket up and we'll see if a rat can't kill you.
Fav animal is german shepherd dog. I think I could fuck a shepherd up b4 dying of blood loss
>>696116843
Isn't that a funnel web spider
>>696116763
Holy kek
>>696116685
Are you severely retarded or what?
>>696115682
an adult cat hell-bent on killing you might do some serious damage. If they are smart, they might actually pull it off.
But a qt ktn?
nowai
>>696116720
but if you can get on the wagon you get all that sweet sweet hick beer...
Parrots
Intelligent, observent, deadly and devoid of emotion.
Natures greatest weapon and its worst nightmare.
When Parrots, all are kill, all are fuck
>>696113657
Death by slobbery kisses
>>696117003
Look at the pic. Observe crab claws and crab eyes on crab eyestalks and other parts of typical crab anatomy. It's not a spider.
Even the file name says it's a crab.
Fukken' mobilefags.
>>696117238
Yeah, I am on mobile
Pretty fucked I'd say.
I'll be safe if I stay away from the ocean though.
>>696116068
They are really fast.
>>696116720
If it's gonna kill me either way, I choose death by sloppy backdoor bashing
>>696117238
No, the filename says its an Angriff der Nanosesarma
>fucking germans
>>696117238
plot twist... it's a spider crab
>>696117373
Nope you dead
>You are placed exactly where your favorite animal normally lives (for example: if your favorite animal is a lion you are now in the middle of a savanna with said lion nearby).
Last time I check these sharks are pretty deep in ocean.
Orcas. Of course i am
Favorite animal is a wolverine... my ass will be sore from how fucked I am
>>696113657
My favorite animals are housecats. So I'm at home. I guess I'd just throw my cats outside of they were relentlessly attacking me
>>696115012
You're fucked anon they can bite through steel
Pistol shrimp. Aside from drowning, how fucked am I?
>>696117373
http://xkcd.com/585/
>>696117649
Relatively safe but scared shitless
>>696117677
Would a Megalodon even bother with prey as small as a human?
>>696116685
Here, I made this for you.
Osprey so a nice lake with a fish eagle
>>696116763
Unrated.
Fucking 10/10.
>>696118000
Sorry, not clicking random ass URL.
>>696113657
A butterfly?
how can it kill me?
My bantam rooster can't do shit, but the attempt will be amusing.
>>696117405
That's like the biggest breed of horse there is, that is going to feel like being pounded by a telephone pole
I like animals in general. I'd probably end up on "noahs ark" aka murder boat
>>696116709
>>696118206
>xkcd
>random
>>696118206
Its a comic.
>>696113657
otter hellbent on killing me kek
make the lil shit my bitch
>>696113657
I'll be fine
>>696113657
Just stay on land you Colossal twat
>>696114532
Actual fag
>>696113657
Rhino
>5000 lbs of death and impalement running at 30 mph.
I'm mega-fucked.
>>696117021
fuck you nigger gtfo /b/
That particular rat (mine) couldn't hurt a fly but even a normal sided wild rat, I once kicked on and it died
>>696114480
Kek
Cows. THEY are pretty fucked.
Go vegan
Mother of god just end it quickly. Please just end it quickly.
>>696113657
>>696115012
My rat and me
Communicate via dental telepathy
>>696118803
Otters are vicious, good fucking luck.
>>696116763
> a gay pride parade of pain
So orlando?
>>696118898
>you are placed exactly where your favorite animal normally lives
Read the post you fucking twat.
>>696115876
This.
If out bites you amputate
>>696119151
Death machines
I have way too many favorite animals, but if I could only pick 4, I'd be stuck with a barn owl, a raccoon, a black panther and a snake. Assuming the animal hell-bent on killing me is randomly picked, and that I can't get fucked by many animals at the same time, I'd say I have a 1/2 chance of getting totally fucked.
>>696119151
NO VEGANS ALLOWED
Please leave the premises.
>>696118087
What if you pulled out all the teeth. I bet they could suck some dick like crazy
>>696114480
>>696114532
FAGOLAS
>>696117995
It hits with 5000 newtons, it's claw fucking generate light and heat from the goddamn cavitation bubble from the water getting the hell away from its mike Tyson punch going 30M/s, so not at all
A raccoon in the middle of the Amercian suburbs at night?
I'll get scratched, maybe, if I don't just walk away.
>>696118000
Hehe
>>696117373
Why does it contradict itself in the max size of the megalodon
>>696119729
You forgot the bubble produces heat equivalent to the surface of the sun
>>696119664
"How exactly am I a fag?"
BECAUSE YOU OVERUSE THE WORD EVERY FIVE SECONDS!
>>696117373
I think you'll be pretty safe considering that they are extinct
Or have they been resurected?
Well it could be worse. Right?
How easily could a Walrus kill a man?
>>696119401
You never said I had to read nigga
>>696120190
Walruses have been known to kill polar bears despite the fact that polar bears prey on them.
I'd go with "very easily".
RIP Me
I dont even know
Maybe snek
Or something in the water
I dont know
>>696120129
... Nope, I think that's pretty much as awful as it gets, anon.
>>696119729
I ... 5000 from a shrimp? That sounds absolutely ridiculous
>>696113657
My favorite animals are bats so id be in a dark ass cave with thousands of em where i cant see shit!
>>696119991
The surface is the coolest part right? Maybe survival is possible after all
>>696120593
Look it up. They straight up just cook the brains before the fish is even dead.
Sand monkeys are the most dangerous animals on the planet. They will chop off your head or blow you up.
>>696116785
Oh the hue manity
>>696113657
A Shiba Inu...I'm good.
How fucked am I?
Red pandas
Sry no pic here's watter doggo
>>696120739
So you like mudslimes
>>696115012
Cute rat, friend.
>>696120710
It would take many hits to kill a human. Slow death. Unless you can swim faster.
>>696120861
What is that thing?
>>696120880
R A D
>>696121044
Jerboa
>Colossal Squid
I'm fucked in a dozen different ways.
>>696120861
Looks like it'll be ramming into you at mach 2
>>696121166
Yeah you would be an irl Japanese hentai
>>696121004
She's a cunt though, she chews cables
>>696113657
I'm done for.
>>696114930
I hate those cunts.
>>696113942
Your Fennec has Rabies. How bout now?
Also, I like Ocelot Felines, so... I'd probably be fucked in the head by the time I'm clear.
>>696116763
>>696114356
Yeah same here, i think i can take down a parrot easy enough
am i a cucked little boy??
>>696113657
Not especially
>>696116763
Lost
>>696120818
actually theyre supposed to be pretty fuckin vicious if not trained, rip
>>696121474
Actually they can't kill humans
>>696113657
I like baby harp seals.
So I guess that sucks for me that I'm going to freeze to death in the middle of the night in my gym shorts.
>>696119942
it doesn't? it says the minimum and the maximum
I'll be fine. As long as I stay away from the claws.
>>696122662
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8oLu7znwQ0
Not so fast.
>>696122662
They've got chlamydia tho, so avoid the piss as well
>>696122662
Their bites can fuck you up especially if you have no access to antibiotics.
>>696113657
I like women, they liv in my bedroom, i just knock them out and fuck em.
Funny, this game is a lot like real life.
>>696113657
>Pacific Octopus
>If I'm in a tide pool: No Problem
>If I'm deep in the ocean: drowned/crushed
>>696122662
>bites are dangerous
>can catch chlamydia from them if they piss on you
>>696119643
Why pull out the teeth just for a dick suckin?
>>696120536
please say snek again anon
it gave me the feels don't ask why
>>696113921
What is this magnificent creature?
Well they eat fruits and insects so I guess I am alright. Their habitat can be in trees and I climb trees pretty well just for fun, I think I'll be okay. The only real danger would be that I would hesitate since I love it so much. Probably break off a part of a branch to defend myself and stab it if slamming it doesn't knock it out of the sky.
>>696120702
6000°c so no it's not much better, although most pistol shrimp could do is break a hand bone, direct temple hit from a large shrimp could
>>696123402
SNEK
N E
E N
KENS
>>696113657
He's not my favorite animal but I believe he is very dangerous to society
Good thing cows are retarded no?
Dolphin. Super ducked.
I think I'm pretty safe.
>>696123789
no no no.
just use the word snek in a calm sentance.
>inb4 beggars can't be choosers
thank you anon.
>>696123947
I like snek
I'll be fine
>>696123947
>>696124135
You'll be yiffed to death.
>>696123947
Now, now, let the boy snek if he wants to. He doesn't know any better.
>>696113657
Cassowary, I'm fucking ded
>>696124140
new background, your work is appreciated.
>>696113657
You got me right out the gate
>>696124223
appreciated.
>>696124035
thanks. I think the original post reminds me of how my old GF used to text me, hit me really hard in the memories.
>>696124666
underrated satanic trips of truth
>>696118120
Whales eat krill.
>>696124666
Right back at ya, Satan.
A gigantic blue whale. At the very least a whole kilometer under the sea. I will drown or die by the pressure before it even gets close and swallows me. NICE
>>696116953
U watch too many movies
>>696115438
Sure it'll let go
What do you do when it won't stop coming at you, though? Lol..
Better hope you've got something that won't break before their skull handy
>>696125312
I don't think it could swallow you anyway. Don't those fuckers eat krill?
>>696117110
>birdemic
My favorite animals are butterflies and they live in the woods behind my house so I just run to my house and get some Off!, now available at your local walmart at the low price of $7.99
>>696115402
if a whale was really hell bent on killing you i think she would've just used abortion
>>696113657
Pretty sure I'm fucked...
>>696119733
You don't know much about Racoons, friends
I'm old enough that I no longer have a favorite animal... So I guess I just chill on the couch some more? Maybe bone the wife if she's frisky?
Small Dogs?
So I'm in a house.
I can literally just walk out of the room.
>>696120818
A Shiba will fuck your shit up friend. They're actually quite vicious in nature
>>696125624
Everyone ignore this post. Don't give him satisfaction. He probably thinks this was good.
~OP
>>696119340
10/10
>>696119733
>
it's hellbent on killing you, pretty fucked i say
>>696119733
Rabies my friend, rabies
>>696113921
Tree Kangaroo is a great pick. Most people are edgy faggots picking apex predators.
>>696125763
teh rabies
..puppies, specificly boxer. Im good.
Ducks can't do shit boi
So I'll be attacked by an iguana?
Alright, I'll be fine
He is small, I am big. If I land a good kick, he'd probably be next to dead.
>>696120861
VERY. You're in the middle of the desert with no car and maybe enough water to last a day.
Fuck my life
>>696113657
hello, Kodiak island.
>>696113657
I doubt it
>>696122318
The only time I ever saw these in my local pet shop they hissed like demons at me.
>>696127503
Fuck you for your favorite animal being the female condom of the animal kingdom.
Great Whites are the best worst favorite animal.
~OP
I might honestly not be fucked. Lions are nigga as fuck by they sleep 20+ hours a day
>>696120012
.
.
.
.
.
gay
>>696122662
nah mate gotta watch for them fukn drop bears ay
>>696116016
Cats have razor sharp claws, and teeth. Don't be an idiot.
>>696128086
>hell-bent
Sorry.
Looks like I'll be fine.
>>696113657
sloth, im in the middle the jungle the sloth hanging above me is least of my concerns
Is there anything that visibly promises death more than this thing's face?
>>696128985
This.
Imagine swimming in the water. You turn around and this is exactly what you see the second you do so. This is the embodiment of death.
>>696127893
Fuck you. That was insulting, but it was funny as hell.
>>696128985
>>696129886
To be fair, I think you'd be equally fucked with either one.
>>696113657
Wolf.
So, in the middle of a boreal or tempurate forest.
Survivalist here, easy as fuck to survive in the woods out here.
One wolf? I could take one wolf with minimal injuries.
2 Wolves.... I MIGHT win, but be horribly injured in the process.
3, I might take out 1, but I'm dead.
4+ im dinner.
>>696115465
Tyrone!!!
>>696118437
Unless you're a Canadian who grew up in the l;ate 80's/early 90's, you have no idea who pingu is.
>>696114356
>Maybe get it's beak through one of my fingers but thats it.
Have that exact bird, sun conure, they're known for being cuddly and friendly towards humans. Been bit by mine a tons of times. Barely hard enough to break skin.
>>696122893
WTF ARE >>696122893
THOSE FUCKING SOUNDS OMG at first though that shit was cute then i was done
>>696121474
Anything's a fleshlight if you're brave enough
>>696114008
They can kill and adult lion with one kick
I'm at Cincinnati Zoo being hunted by Harambe. What a noble death that which awaits me.
>>696125416
do you know how big they >>696125416
are lol it can prob fit 20 people inside its mouth
>>696113657
>CROIKEY!
>>696130552
I dunno, being in the water is way worse than getting killed in land. At least you know why you're being killed
Falcon, i guess hide under a rock?
>>696133432
I love mobile
>>696130892
>1
You're fucking dinner
>>696113657
I've got a pretty good shot. It mostly depends on gender.
Hint: The Human is my favorite animal.
