ITT we post a superpower we have then anon below puts a flaw

>>693867267
As long as you've been there before.

I can turn invisible.

Except when youre naked

>>693867520
When nobody is around.

I can fly.

>>693867520
Because no one loves you

>>693867686
only while you're shitting

I can stop time

>>693867686
But your cock shrinks every time you do

I can read minds

>>693867894
but you have to be naked in front of them

I can meep the down

>>693867832
But you have to beat off two guys simultaneously to do so

I am invulnerable to bullets

>>693868107
only in zimbabwe

I can see into the future

Only if its my death

I am invulnerable

>>693868480
Only to anvils

I can clone myself

i can fix my past mistakes

But it has autism

I can run fast

>>693868588
But to do it you have to kill yourself


I have superhuman strength

>>693868731
How fast?

>>693868731
kek

>>693868588
but only when you have a strong distaste to dark chocolate

i can summon women as i please to be my slave

>>693868731
But you'll be black

I have xray vision

Im a big guy

>>693868826
But it only works on fish

>>693868826
but only through metal doors

i can morph into anything

I have hyperintellegence

>>693869010
but only when your child has autism

i can easily fuck any girl i want

>>693868893
for you

>>693869227
But you have a severe case of aids

I can never lose my keys

>>693868974
But only for a few seconds

I have regeneration

>>693869354
Pop quiz; would taking off my mask kill me?

>>693869549
cancer

>>693869549
but you regenerate at a extremely slow rate.

>>693868819
but only black women

I can do backflips

>>693869549
but only on your dick

i can move mountains with a single punch

>>693869749
Only if you die within 5 mins

I can make girl orgasm wiyh the touch of my fingers

>>693869774
But your hand falls off

I can win any lottery in the world

>>693869979
But you spend 92% on taxes


I can time travel

>>693869979
the ticket costs 10% more than the winnings

>>693869968
But you become insanely gay.

I can transform into any animal.

>>693869979
As long as the prize is less than 5 dollars

>>693869968
but this kills the girl

I can shit gold With jewels in it

>>693869968
At the cost of having parkinsons disease

I can heal people with my touch

>>693870096
but only to the day you were born

i can control water

>>693869968
But it makes your testicles feel like a horse stomped them.

I can react to things within 1/300th of an attosecond.

>>693870096
but you travel back to the present a minute later and dont remember anything

>>693870267
Does that include all my birthdays?

>>693870204
But as soon as you try to sell it it become shit again

I am the smartest man alive

>>693870259
but your dick shrinks to half its size once performed

i have unlimited wealth

I can meep the down

>>693870313
sure

>>693870362
But you're mute and deaf


I can change the properties of any substance

>>693870384
But its all golden chocolate coins

>>693870192
that doesn't have a backbone

I can travel any distance, with the blink of an eye

But your a virgin your whole life and your steven hawking

I can see the future

I am completely invincible

Orgasm finger-guns

>>693870469
but only on sundays from 2:05 AM-2:06 AM

i can control the minds of the masses

>>693870520
But you get the equivalent exhaustion from covering that distance by foot.


I can shrink at will (any size smaller than me)

>>693870469
With 99.9% failure

>>693870593
To lightning striking twice

I have lazer beam firing eyes

>>693870593
But only one time for half a second at a random point in your life.

>>693870520
For a blink of an eye, then you're transported back.

>>693870692
But you're blind


I can teleport through walls

>>693870651
Only when you're in an airplane

>>693870777
that are less than 6 inches thick.

I can breath underwater and survive great pressures.

>>693870777
Only when your sleeping

>>693870651
but only when you are about to have sex

i can summon jesus

>>693870862
but not in air

I can change gender at will

>>693870862
Only how long you can hold your breathe

>>693870777
only naked

>>693870929
That's already possible

>>693870862
but only if you are in a kiddy-pool

i can win at any game i play

>>693870900
But he wants to drag you down to hell

I can shoot fire or ice from my hands

>>693871028
But you lose 1 year of life each game

>>693871028
You lose all function in your body

>>693869378
but your house/car/whatever are permanently unlocked.

The power to control the exact moment when I cum

>>693870777
but only into other walls

When i play my flute, shit obeys my command

>>693871104
That's called death

>>693871039
They hurt your hands as it would if you touched them

I can kill anyone with my mind

>>693871135
But only watching porn alone

>>693871152
Only poop obeys your commands indeed

>>693871039
The fire burns you

>>693871195
You die with them

>>693871195
But you feel all the physical pain they felt in all their life

I can create matter from thin air

>>693871342
Only things above 10000lbs

I can eat whatever I want without getting fat

GUYS WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF SUPERPOWERS

>>693871195
There is a 100% chance of getting caught

>>693871456
You still get fat

>>693871456
But only if you exercise twice a week


I can fully control electricity

I can commit any crime without getting caught

>>693871456
it all tastes awful

>>693871342
But it's always cock shaped and you become infamous as the gayest superhero ever

I can talk to animals

I can memorize everything i see and hear

>>693871582
you won't get caught but everybody treats you as if you're a criminal

>>693871562
But you continuously zap your balls when doing so

Can hack into electronic devices with my mind

>>693871562
Only the amount of electricity that your brain sends through the nerves

>>693871669
But they only scream at you

>>693871562
But you get shocked depending on how much you use

I can control minds

I can have a superpower that has no flaws in it.


/thread

i have the power to make aliens come visit me

>>693871728
But you get paralyzed 1 minute every time you do it

>>693871815
But you don't

>>693871815
But you have to turn 90 to acually use them

>>693871828
But they violently probe your anus on every visit

I can summon the powers of nature

>>693870692
You uncontrollably shoot your lasers whenever you open your eyes.

I can sate my hunger/thirst whenever I please.

>>693871669
But only when you are on acid

I can save and reload IRL

>>693871828
>no aliens

>>693871815
It may not have flaws in it but it has flaws around it
Continue thread

>>693871927
But you're their main target because nature hates humans

>>693871927
It catches fire instantly

I can turn 360 degrees and walk away.

>>693871953
>cannabilism

>>693871970
But there is a 40% chance of corruption and having to restart your entire life

>>693871970
limited saves. Resident evil style

>>693872060
You walk back into whatever you were trying to walk away from

>>693872123
That would suck

>>693872060
But after you use your superpower you can't walk anymore

I can date any woman I want

>>693872171
oh fuck!

I have the power of atomic fusion and fission without radioactivity

>>693872244
But she's a radical feminist

>>693867267
I can put a match into my bloodstream and burn the AIDS without harming myself.

>>693871927
lololololll

>>693872060

>>But ever time you do you age 50 years

I Have the power to Jump off of the Air like in video games

>>693869378
At the price of being homeless

>>693872378
That has a 100% failure rate

>>693872123
>Going back in life and punching chad dead in the jaw
Sign me up

>>693872410
So double jump? Lol

>>693868072
thats not even bad though, ots like a slut detector

>>693872410
But you take fall damage

>>693872473
Aw, you can't completely nullify it. That ain't just nerfing, that's complete denial.

>>693872572
Doubled fall damage

The power to cancel others' powers power

>>693872410
only one leg

>I can turn into any animal I please

>>693872606
99.9% failure rate, sorry

>>693872657
Cancels yours

>>693872681
but only once

I can speak every langage

My vision is augmented.

>>693872681
You cannot turn back

>>693872681
you don't keep your human consciousness

>>693872657
But you can only use it on powerless humans

I can control TIME AND SPACE at will

>>693872681
Only once and that's forever

>>693871970
One aspect of your life dissapears every time you reload, as if they never existed, at varying levels of importance. I.E, first a picture, then a chair, and finally your home/family member.

I feel no pain and fear nothing.

>>693872690
Much better

>>693872759
By 0.0001%

>>693872759
But you lose an eye

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I Can shapeshift into anything I want.
>>693870276
Your brain perceives things so fast that the world is always effectively in slow motion for you only.

>>693872748
But you can only say one word

I can turn into any video game character

I can fuck any woman I want

>>693871708
You become paraplegic

>>693872799
But everything a human should be afraid of is trying to kill you

>>693872872
Ages 15 younger

>>693872780
But if you do your stuck forever

I can become the dude in any porn scene I'm watching and experience the sex

I can have sex with any character from any videogame

>>693872780
25% chance of causing yourself to cease to exist

I can kill niggers and no one will care.

>>693872799

>>because you are already dead

The Power to Control High Tech Machines with my Mind

>>693872872
You contract a sexual disease whenever you use your power

I can turn into metal

>>693871562
You basically turn into electro.

>>693872988
not a superpower

But first you must let hitler rape you

i can perfectly shapeshift into whatever, whenever

>>693872872
But she has a 12 inch dick

>>693872992
you rust easily

I can swim on land

>>693872966
Only in gay porn, as bottom, no protection from a black male

>>693872799
But you are 5x more senitive
Basically, if you stub your toe you break a leg

>>693871456
You suffer severe tooth decay.

I can summon a fully cooked to my liking bowl of ramen whenever and wherever I please.

>>693872975
She's 15 younger

>>693872988
But only while on duty as a police officer. MURICA

>>693872966
only in gay porn

>>693872861
somebody else has to control you

>>693873064
But you can't breathe air, only water or dirt/sand

>>693873034
I said woman

>>693872859
But only once
Forever

>>693873160
Then she grows a dick when you try to fuck her

>>693873160

But you have a severe case of newfaggotry.

>>693872975
Who is a guy

>>693872992
You remain metallic forever, can't move

I can summon any object I desire

>>693871828
as long as they're mexican

>>693871195
You suffer an aneurysm whenever you kill someone.

Have the power to be gay when I want

I have the power to stop the feminists, the gays and westboro baptist church from protesting

>>693872859
>>693873024
Anytime you decide what to change into, the change is interpreted by a malicious genie who always tries to twist around your idea to make you into something ironically terrible.

>>693873116
But it is always cold.

I never have to sleep.

>>693873296
...by taking on all their beliefs upon yourself.

>>693873296
You don't threaten them or persuade them at all

>>693873024

>>Your power comes from your terminal cancer which everytime you transform brings you closer to death

I never need to brush my teeth

>>693873258
But it is 70 times more fragile

>>693873296
You stop them from protesting by making what they want a reality. Thus, they not longer have any reason to protest.

>>693872988
But you will be rediculed and outcasted for the rest of your life
>Thanks Tumblr

>>693873321
Only when your tired

>>693873024
You technically can, but you forgot how to a long time ago

I am immune to all forms of disease, sickness, maladies, etc.

I have the power to jizz on command

>>693873354
your breath constantly smells like dog shit

>>693873423
Any disease you would have caught gets directly passed to the person/pet you love the most.

>>693873423
You become particularly prone to human-caused accidents and natural disasters.

>>693873452
Only when jacking off

>>693873423
But you still get the worst symptom of each one

>>693873452
Only inside guy's mouths

>>693873294
Forever

>>693873423

>>All bullets around the world home in on you and will travel any distance to strike you

I have the power to bring objects and magic from books into real life

I have the power of muscle morph like Hulk

>>693873452
the load is 500 ounces each time

I have the power to shit diamond sharp shit swords

>>693872681
You have a human face.

I can summon someone who is like me, friend or partner alike.

>>693873452
But only in front of your parents

>>693873452
But you eject rancid rancid diarrhea out of your cock whenever you orgasm

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>>693867267
I want to
Trip balls stoned robert

>>693873561
For 1 second at a time.

>>693873560
But they tear your anus

I have the power to stop time.

I can make anyone fall in love with me

>>693873561

>>They are a member of Isis, and their vest is about to explode in 1.3 seconds

The power to grow hair on any surface

>>693873561
>Hello doggie
>Dog with neckbeard
>Goodbye doggie

>>693873645
Forever

I can read people minds

>>693873653
But only after you've jerked off with sandpaper to a photo of them.

>>693873645
But you don't have the power to restart it

>>693873547
You don't have any control over these objects and magic, which results in you getting charmed by the One Ring from LoTR and hit by all kinds of curses from Harry Potter. And that's just two books.

>>693873727
But they can read yours

>>693873727
You can only read thoughts that are negative towards you.

>>693873653
You can no longer feel human affection
>>693873645
age at twice the rate when time is stopped

>>693868254
But only for two seconds

I have the power to know anything I want whenever I want.

I have the power to always get dubs

I have the ability to reforest the word with my thoughts

>>693873857
But you have Alzheimer's

>>693873884
You stay a newfag forever.

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>>693873884

>>693873884
And are a compulsive liar

>>693873708
at the expense of using your own hair, until all of it us gone

>>693873034
kek

>>693869968
But you have no fingers.

I'm not disgusted by butterfaces...

I can shit clean $100 bills with random serial numbers.

>>693873938
But you're a libtard

I can sweat female body fluids

i can turn oldfags into newfags

>>693874009

>>But you will be forever friendzoned

No mater what i eat i can always make it taste like the food i really want to eat

Very successful thread. :) good job op. You gay fuck

>>693873884
But only you see them

I have the power to stop aging

>>693870362
But you're married to Justin beiber

>>693874040
They're monopoly dollars.

I can cleanse /b/ of cancerous threads and find cool shit every time I visit the board.

>>693874131
You always crave shit

I also have the power to always get dubs.

>>693874190
Cool threads turn into loli

>>693874115
But only in the summer

>>693874171
But you're granted this power on your 90th birthday

>>693874190
But only by sucking nigger cocks

>>693874040
But you are always constipated

>>693874069

>>limited to only period blood

I can Clone myself and program my clones like robots that are 100% loyal to me and do whatever i say

>>693873884
But it only works on me
Check em

>>693874171
you only stop aging when you're 70.

The power to vibrate through walls.

>>693874228
But only when you cut a limb

I have the power to make everyone like me

I have the power to make any piss or shit I take come out of the mouth of my enemies

i can make a person go crazy through mind control
example: fat girl stripping in public to an old man

>>693874228
But there will never be trips or more.

I'm Jewish and stinking rich...

>>693874341
clones are quadriplegic.

>>693874341
Each successive clone is more and more imperfect

>>693874408

>>Last person in the universe

The Power to have anyone instantly agree to what i ask them to do

>>693874412
You have to eat your enemies shit beforehand.

>>693874520
People finally rise up against the Jews and round them up in concentration camps in every country.

>>693874341
but to do so, I have to rip a limb off my body every time

I can understand and speak any language including non-human languages.

>>693874412
But only if they're within a 50 ft. radius


I can travel to the future

>>693874472
50/50 chance if it backfiring and you go crazy

>>693874387
But is a human dildo

I can start a thread on /b and not be a faggot

>>693873966
Nice dubs

>>693874408
Wow
Anon is lonley

>>693874341
The second you clone your life expectancy drops to 1 hour

>>693874663
But only in 1 second intervals

I can have sex with any woman I choose

>>693874520

>>50 Million Hitlers suddenly appear

The power to know how the Stock Market will be in 1 year from now

>>693874472
Only when stroking your left nipple with a prosthetic leg.

I have the power to change my size (like AntMan).

>>693874412

but first you have to eat piss and shit out of a walmart toilet.

Don't age past 22. Perfect health.

>>693874552
crippling case of social anxiety.

I can shit without it hurting

>>693867267
As long as there are cute but extremely judgmental girls who are focusing on that spot and you can't take your clothes with.

>>693874663
But can never return so it's a massive gamble

Every time I clap my hands, I become a day younger

>>693874656
unable to speak any language

>>693874915
incontinent

>>693874656

>>Born Blind, Deaf and Mute, also Born without fingers

The Power to Walk into a TV show from any TV

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>>693874000
CHECKED

>>693875012
should clarify. unable to physical speak, both vocally and with hands.>>693875012

I have regenerative powers

>>693874656
You have extreme throat cancer, and a neckhole that you have to use a machine to speak through.

>>693874686
But you have no Internet

>>693875113
Only my little pony

>>693874861
Though you'll go through the rest of your life appearing to be age 22 and with no maladies of age or illness, your life expectancy is ridiculously short.

>>693874753
massive faggot from now on.

>>693874996
But only when dildoing your asshole


I canblend into any background

>>693869567
It would be extremely painful

>>693875149
>but only works when you've been shot in the face

I'm fire-proof

>>693875242

a world with magic
and no Trump or Clinton or Muslims or Niggers or Jews, also i dont have to wear clothes

not that bad of a deal really

>>693875484
giant arrow constantly points out where you are.

>>693875553
But your always on firee

>>693875553
Only underwater

>>693875484
only while screaming "I'm right here" at the top of your lungs.

>>693870170
I nearly spat out my drink! Hahaha!

>>693875553

>>Any Contact with any Liquid will instantly kill you

I can Absorb, Store, and Release kinetic Energy as i please

>>693875682
Said arrow attracts hot bitches where i leap from my camouflage and anally violate them

>>693875796
But will always be a newfag

>>693875820
>only works while actively stroking two dicks, yours not included

My shitposting is both funny and original

>>693870550
but only when forcing a lead pencil (full length) into your urethra.

>>693875852
>hot bitches turn out to be traps every time

>>693870550
But you're Ray Charles

I have the power to cum diamonds

>>693870640
Only when you're the priest at said 'mass'.

>>693871770
... of people post lobotomy only.