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What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done, /b/?

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What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done, /b/?
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I fucked a duck. Literally
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>>692556327
I threw a cat out the window of a truck going 80mph because it kept meowing in my apartment.
>>
Killed my girlfriend in about 2 months by trying to have children. Fertility meds produced reproductive cancer, metastasized.
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>>692556470
Story
>>
9/11
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>>692556470
Blimey
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acted inappropriate with my younger sister
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Briefly Choked a homeless man who wouldn't stop asking for change
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>>692556624
Alright, so I lived on a farm as a child and all was fun and stuff. not really living on a farm sucks. We had ducks though. One time, a duck was hurt so we had to bring it inside. Bloody wing I think. I just did what seemed naturally when my mom left me alone to go get groceries
>>
I collected the cum of a horse from a nearby stable and drank it.
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>>692557008
How was it?
>>
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>be 18
>Britfag
>working in uncle's pub
>really small village
>cycling home at like 2am
>see dude laying in the road
>wtf
>get closer, see he's kind of whimpering
>his legs and hips seem mangled even in the dark
>even closer, see his face and clothes are covered in blood
>he sees me looking at him
>eye contact
>he kinda says "help me"
>NOPE
>freak out, socially awkward anyway
>cycle off as fast as I can
>next day news report on body found in road from hit and run
>father of 2, his fiance pregnant with #3
>guy died because i was too pussy to help
>nobody will ever know
>>
>>692557153
Warm, thick, and salty. Leaves a bad taste like cum smell.
>>
>>692557239
And I thought fucking a duck was messed up
>>
Let my bf play with the lil girl I babysat.
>>
I have a scat fetish, i'm not proud of it and i'm afraid someone will discover about it. From time (monthly or so) to time I get REALLY horny for it and when i'm alone at my house i get inside the shower, shit on my hand and masturbate while doing stuff with my shit, like smear it on me, on my feet and fuck it with my dick. One time i even actually put it in my mouth (i never came so hard and felt such pleasure i'm my life).

Of course afterwards i get really disgusted about it, i feel very ashamed, i clean myself and the shower stall and feel bad about it during the rest of the day.

The real sad part is i'm only 18 and i'm actually beautiful and have no problem about scoring girls, and i also have friends and a social life, i don't know how i became so fucked up.
>>
Killed a man once
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>>692557239
You piece of shit
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>>692557239
thats really fucked up
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I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
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>>692557504
Your on 4chan and you ask how your so fucked up, really
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>>692557424
Not like it isnt lmfao
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>>692557504
Haha I can relate. It is perfectly normal. You should feel good about it.
>>
Every time i hear that whistle blowin', i hang my head and cry
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>>692556787
How so
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>>692557239
I advice an immediate hero
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>>692558007
PAEDOPHILE ALERT!!!!!!
>>
>>692557504
Big fucking deal, get a girl who loves shit and there you have it - lifes good? Have fun fam happy life
>>
When I was in the fourth grade my cousin convinced me of having sex with her. I did not even know what sex was at the time, this was a year before they taught us about sex ed and such in the school I attended. She was in the fifth grade (when they taught it so that is why she might have done it). The following year I learned what had happened and did not think much of it since I was so young. Now I am 18 she is 20 and it sort of haunts me that she did that.
>>
>>692557870
It is, but leaving a man to die is more fucked up than duck fucking
>>
when my parents were out, i used to get naked in front of my sis
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>>692558097
Um where do you see ages
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>>692558007
sorry forgot to hit reply

answer here
>>692558193
>>
>>692557239
>brexit leave level: MASTER
>>
>>692556487
Legend...
(Wait for it)
...dary!
>>
>>692557504
Didn't it taste bad? I understand that it gives you pleasure, but still, it seems like you'd gag after putting your own shit in your mouth.
>>
>go to friend's bday party while I'm home from uni
>drink 10-14 shots
>wanna have sex with bday girl
>bday girl and her friends while drunk decide to watch Frozen instead
>fuck this I'm out
>was supposed to drive to uni next day
>drive to uni that night after popping 30mg XR addy while still shitfaced
>uni is 3 hours away from home
>pull over 8 times to take a piss on the side of the road on my way up

I shouldn't have made it to uni safe. I'm a PoS.
>>
>>692558105
>get a girl who loves shit
Easy huh?
>>
When I am with my friends I always sayI finish every Final Fantasy game.

FFVII I played only until start of disc 3

the only one I finished was FFIV
>>
The only times I feel any emotions at all is when I drink nearly lethal amounts of alcohol.
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>>692558193
Natural kid stuff.
>>
well, I have a good one for you.
I am a married mother of two, and I work as a advocate worker for women at risk, such as homeless drug addicts and escorts, and street level sex workers.
Its common for these women to get savior complex with me, and some of them will admit they have crushes on me, and every now and then I will have sexual affairs with one of the more attractive looking women and share them sexually with my husband
I have only had this backfire when I was no longer intrested and she tried to blackmail me, so of course no one believed the whore and decided she was just trying to get attention.
>>
>>692558483
>playing ff7 95% of the way through and stopping wut
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>>692558405
Actually, if you put it and don't chew it and move around and stuff you can't taste it so much, and i was almost cumming so i wasn't going to stop for anything on the world.
>>
>>692558483
Are you Irish?
>>
>>692558502
got to see her naked too but still feel bad about it tho
>>
>>692558105
How to get diseases 101 featuring this fucking anon
>>
>>692558532
Now this is podracing.
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>>692558720
Scottish
>>
>>692558165
Idfk but yeh given the choice between letting a father of 3 bleed to death and fucking a paralyzed duck I might whip out my dick to be a lad
>>
>>692558680

It was so long ago and I didn't know if was more to it, I just remember that you're walking on snow or something and I give up.

>>692558720

no I'm not
>>
>>692558097

Thanks, I almost missed it
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>>692558532
That's hot AF.
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>>692559024
>great glacier
nigga that's like the first part of disc 2
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>>692558970
is strangulation a sexual fetish for you now? were you killing the cats to hurt your mother or them?
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My mom was a drunk and would constantly rehouse all these stray cats (there was 16 at our home at one point) and I used to get all my anger out on them. Strangled at least 5 or 6 cats when I was growing up. They would claw and put up a real fight but they run out of breath pretty quickly. Bashed in the brains of one as well. I probably stopped when I was around 14.
>>
>>692556327
>I am a married mother
Tits or gtfo
>>
I got all of my friends (excluding myself) addicted to hardcore drugs because I wanted to see how they would react.
If you're curious, they all fought with each other and separated.
They were all really dumb and had little going for them in the future anyways.
>>
I had sex with my cousin and niece.
>inb4 pedo

My niece is like a month younger than I am and I'm 22.
I'm a pretty normal guy otherwise.
>>
Fucked my ex on a golf course
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>>692559199

LOL
>>
I used to buy frogs by stealing a little bit of my mom's money at a time. I used to take them out and bind their legs together with string and press both of my fingers on their ends and slowly go up, making them writhe and their organs shoot out of their mouths but tbh this is pretty normal.
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After my fiance' and her attractive cousin got back from yoga, they both changed to go to the beach and i was left alone in the house. When I realized that her cousin left her used, sweaty panties within my reach, I took them and masturbated to the smell of her.
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>>692559118

There you go, I gave up after the start of disc 2.

it was so long ago, I can't believe I never finished it.

I had started FFVIII and FFIX and I can't go too far they feel so boring and outdated now
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>>692557239
Pasta
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>>692559338
Fuck your life if thats the worst youve done jesus christ
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I burned a house down.
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I kept my cat locked up in a small bathroom on purpose for a whole moth and then strangled it to death.
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>>692559429
>but tbh this is pretty normal
>>
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out but the worst thing I ever done I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a noise like this hua hua hua huaaaaaaa and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other and I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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i cum in my house mates lube nearly ever day when she go's to work.
Her boyfriend is a messy loud mouth douche. I think it's kinda funny that he's fucking her with my cum.
>>
I walked into the men's room at Costco and found an obviously confused and disoriented man trying, unsuccessfully, to get his pants down right in the middle of the restroom rather than in the stall. He was fumbling with them and not making any headway in his efforts. There were a few other men in there as well and you could tell they were wrestling with the idea of helping but uncomfortable with the idea and not really sure of what to do. I announced that I am a nurse and would take care of it from there. I assisted the man into a stall, got his pants down for him and got him on the pot. When I left the stall, I left the bathroom as well, knowing there was no way this guy had gotten there unaccompanied. I found an old lady waiting outside, obviously distressed. I asked if her husband was the confused gentleman and, of course, she replied yes. I told her what I was doing, that all was in control and well and asked his name. I then went back in.

He took a while to finish and I know everyone who entered to find me waiting in there, doing nothing but just standing there must have thought I was a nut job... But when he was done, I went back into the stall to find that he had made quite the mess of things. I had suspected as much given the smell that was emanating into the surrounding vicinity. I got a few wet paper towels and cleaned him up, got his pants back up and fastened and finished up at the sink, washing his hands with him. Then I took him back out to his waiting wife.

I made my purchase and left, telling my wife and kids waiting in the car that I'd had great trouble finding what I was looking for and the lines had been unbearably long. I got a few nasty looks (and a comment or two...) but it was worth it as I also stripped the nice gold watch from his wrist and $80 from his wallet. I later sold the watch for $400.
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A man walk pass me and I though he looked ugly so I whispered "Fucking uglyass motherfucker" to myself. I've changed since then but I might become what I used to if I start looking at porn again.
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>>692556327
Probably stole tons of weed and Alcohol from my roommates at university
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>>692558938
He most likely thought it was just a homeless dude and didn't care.

It's fucked up but that's how people are.
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>>692559718
What's this from?
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>>692559997
The Goonies.
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>>692558483

You fucking monster
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>>692559712
There is plenty of moths outside.
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>>692559818
shit nigger calm down
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I have a tickle fetish and tickle torture is what turns me on the most. That's about all I can think of.
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Just reposting a deleted post for great justice.

Anonymous 07/02/16(Sat)04:25:36 No.692558970 This post has been deletedâ–¶
>>692558532
My mom was a drunk and would constantly rehouse all these stray cats (there was 16 at our home at one point) and I used to get all my anger out on them. Strangled at least 5 or 6 cats when I was growing up. They would claw and put up a real fight but they run out of breath pretty quickly. Bashed in the brains of one as well. I probably stopped when I was around 14.
>>
>>692557504
Same here, i am a 8-8.5/10, i have a gf, friends and social life, but i like furry. Idk, it jus arouses me more than any other thing, and im not proud of it.
>>
>Have dalmatian female doggo
>Every morning I find this stupid fucking looking small doggo in my yard fucking MY dog
>Literally kick him out every fucking day
>One day come home at night
>See little shit climbing my fence
>10 times bigger than him
>fuckinginsanity.png
>wait for him to drop inside my house
>You gonna learn today
> grab dog from frontal legs
>Cousin kicks him in the balls with the force of a thousands hells
>We take turns castrating the dog repeatedly
>Basically and almost literally crucify him over trash can
>Give him crown of thorns (reallly)
>get airsoft guns
>empty 4 clips of fury upon his unsuspecting almost unrecognizable
Testicles
>Let him go
>Next morning
>Hey how you doing
>turn around confused
>Doggo is in my fucking yard again
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>>692557239
Probably he was already about to die when he asked you for help, even if you called for emergency he most probably would have died anyway.
Don't think too much about it, it's not like you killed him.
>>
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>>692559718
>>
>>692560572
Its OUR time.. down here
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i master b8ed to my sisters porn pics that her ex sent me
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>>692557782
Ill acknowledge your reference, mate. Good one
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>>692560422
>>
I was at a co-workers house party and fucked his girl upstairs without him or her knowing
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>>692560422
Were you inspired by that black dog story?
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>>692558153
Go cry about it pussy
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>>692560770
Wut
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>>692560781
The fuck is that? Sounds interesting
I was about 8 ahah I guess our main inspiration was the bible, ironically.
We recreated the crucifiction
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>>692560422
Id gladly rip your jaw out and shit down your bleeding throat til you suffocated only to magically revive you and rape you with coarse sandpaper on a power drill you fucking gimp
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>>692556327
ITT: normies
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>>692556327
>We recreated the crucifiction
Dont think that was how it happened
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>>692561054
Ahaha chill out mane. I'm not a monster anymore. I'll be the first to admit it was a mistake made when I was about 8. Nothing I can do about it now
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>>692561240
Who can ever know forsure right?
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Unloaded a can of sunscreen into my cats ass when I was 8
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True story: When I was about 12 or 13 I caught a lizard in my backyard.

I brought it inside and grabbed one of my mom's syringes/needles and began to masturbate furiously.

I came inside of the syringe tube, took the lizard, and injected it's stomach with my semen.

I put this lizard in a ziplock bag and stashed him under my bed where he remained for several years.
>>
Was living in a bad home when I was a kid. Shot a mouse to death after pinning it behind my bearded dragons cage. I was scared. I didn't want my family to punish me.
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>>692556327
I beat up my brother when he told me he was trans.
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>>692561252
Fair then, but fuck 8 year old you lol
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>>692561047
I know what you're thinking, it isn't a sexual story at all. Basically the story is about a guy who sees this annoying doh scratch on his door and do things so he kills it but he finds dog hairs everywhere and later on he dissapears and before his death he still hears the scratching of the black dog.
>>
messed around with my sister multiple times
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>>692561431
Wonderful. Any pics?
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>>692557239
I have no qualms with your decision.
>>
>>692561527
How old was that flambouyant fucking faggot
>>
>>692561694
Greentext it pls
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>>692556327
i take money from us govt to keep quiet about some things theyve done that would alter current national and global politics if revealed. basically solidify trump victory and possible martial law by obama
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>>692560753
Post em
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>>692561723

Sadly no.. Wish I had thought of it at the time.
>>
I'm a successful guy (both academically and professionally). I'm 35 with a good job, a smoking hot wife, and a wonderful son.

I'm also a severe drug and alcohol addict and nobody knows. I've kept it to myself for more than 10 years.
>>
>>692561431
That sounds fun. I have a ton of syringes lying around…
>>
>>692557680
story?
>>
>>692561863

You should do something similar and post it here. I'm sure everyone would enjoy it.
>>
>>692561770
19
>>
>>692561612
Sounds pretty sexual to me
>>
Had sex with my cousin's friend's mother, right next to the room everybody was hanging out in.
Lot of jack daniels involved.
>>
>>692556327
>I'm also a severe drug and alcohol addict and nobody knows. I've kept it to myself for more than 10 years.
never heard that one before
>>
I'm a combat veteran and I completely fabricated all of my disability claims with the VA.

I collect close to $40,000 a year (tax free) in disability claims from the military. I don't have to work and I pay my rent and smoke a lot of weed with the money. I enjoy this life.

I don't feel bad about it at all.
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>>692562050
I'd probably do it with some gypsy moth larvae, no real big animals around.
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>>692557465
How did that happen
>>
>>692562346

That sounds kinda neat
>>
>>692558532
Tits or gtfo
>>
>>692557465
Like, hopscotch?
>>
>>692562341
Here's a guy that knew how to make it. Take notes kids
>>
>>692562341
tbfh id rather pay tax for that than a couple of inbred jocks in combat gear killing kids in fallujah so thanks fam money well (or at least better) spent
>>
>>692561555
Fucking pedophile
>>
>>692562341
you shouldnt with how the govt handles money. if you knew the kinda money they shell out to cover up problems you'd wish you went for triple that
>>
>>692561694
>>692561783

>dont really have any stories
>we'd just get naked together a lot, watch each other masturbate
>eventually led to sex

she has a great ass
>>
>>692562341

bad ass
>>
>>692562705
Add me on KEK
>>
I once had to sleep on a couch with two of my girl cousins. I pretended to be sleep, fondled and dry fucked my cousin pretty much. She liked it
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>>692562790
Ill have it, cheers
>>
Had an affair with a married woman. Husband found out.

I'm against cheating, personally, too, which makes me regret this even more.
>>
My first time looking at a /b/ thread, I think I need to watch some Minecraft videos to clear my mind.
>>
>>692557239
Was he a nigger?
>>
>>692563170
Fucking keked hard
>>
>>692563170

See you soon, friend!
>>
>>692563170
Faggot gtfo
>>
>>692563170
Enjoy a gore thread first
This place os laod back in comparrison to the past
>>
I abused my cousin multiple times during eight years
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>>692563217
Just because he was looking like shit and laying on the street doesnt mean he was a nigger. Ironically, he was. He would take his last breath, sip his 40oz abd repeat
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>>692556327
I'd been best friends with a girl since we were kids. She fucked me over big time. Big-time. So I created a sort of shitlist-hitlist of girls she hated..and over the coming months, I systematically burrowed my way into their lives, getting to know them. I'd tell the best friend about them, how things were going...make it seem like a serious relationship. We'd talk on the phone and I could tell she would be irritated, pissy...but not enough to say shit to me. I would then proceed to have sex with the girl of the time, tell my best friend that things went south, make her feel bad for me...then move on to the next one. Girls included but are not limited to; the girl who ruined a two year relationship, her cousin, etc.
>>
>>692563448
Story faggot
Also, was HE a nigger?
>>
>>692563448
wow really? i used to beat your cousin too who knew man
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>>692563619
Alex is a stupid nigger
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>>692556327
Fucked a married guy
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>>692556327
I leaked the Krabby Patty secret formula
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>>692563700
He was asking for it
He's still sad about not getting abused anymore
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>>692558390
Under rated kek
>>
>>692563852
ooh that's some hardcore shit right there
>>
Raped my mini pinscher..
>>
>>692556993
Good ass?
>>
Send a dick pic to my land whale teacher
>>
I turned my friend into the FBI when I found out he was extorting 11 year olds for porn over the internet. I know it's the morally right thing to do, but to me it just feels really wrong. I knew this guy for 8 years. He's currently serving 5 years in prison. His sentence began in february.
>>
>>692564069
Is that an insect? I don't think you can fit your penis inside ons plus they would probably break open.
>>
>>692556470
/thread
>>
>>692564194
Just 5? Thats not so bad, well done
>>
>>692564289
It's a little dog, I never fit my entire dick in him.
>>
>>692564289
>implying he has a normal penis
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>>692564194
That's a hard call. You're right to feel bad about betraying a friend but you definitely did the right thing.
>>
>>692564019
It's the truth, not some false, edgy shit you'd make up faggot
>>
>>692564396
Try to then.
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>>692563505
Wow, congratulations on following your genetic programming. You're eliminating any potential competitors for sperm and making up rationales for it too. I really hope you get what's coming to you, bitch.
>>
>>692564525
He's dead now.. I killed him when he bit me.
>>
>>692564194
bet you got the pics first didnt you
>>
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Oh, nothing much. I just blew up a couple of planets, killing billions.
>>
>>692560336
Same here, but there's nothing wrong with that. Women are more open to experimenting with that than you might think. Have hope, anon
>>
>>692556327
I have twin daughters who are being raised by their mother and her husband who was in Iraq when it happened. The girls don't know any better, and neither does the husband, because he came home the day after conception. He has the same hair color, the same eye color, and is completely convinced he experienced the 2% of the time that the condom does not work.
>>
>>692564631
Still have the body?
>>
>>692556327
Fucked my sister once and only once.
>>
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>>692559718
>>
>>692564687
>Could have been Broly
>Could have been Majin Buu
>Picks the gayest
>>
>>692564659
never saw them. I did get a screenshot of some text messages he sent one of the girls though. That's what I used as evidence in my tip. I knew this girl personaly, she was my neice. He told her she'd go to prison if she told anyone what she'd sent him, and that he wanted to fuck her when she turned 18. I deleted the pictures off of my phone about a month ago, they just bring up bad memories.
>>
>>692564861
who the fuck are those animefag? maybe he is gay
>>
>>692564780
Yea I fuck him every other day but still too scared to fit my whole dick in it
>>
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>>692564861
You're just jealous.
>>
>>692557782
I'm glad I read through this thread first. I was about to samepost this.
>>
>>692564780
I wish, buried him with my parents, had a bigger dog, american pit bull. told my parents the bigger dog had killed him. I was 14 then.
>>
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>>692557504
>I actually put it in my mouth
>>
Had sex with my niece. Wore condom, took off to cum all over her belly and tits. Door opens, she freaks and sits up. Not sure if cum ran down to her vagoo or not....

(ps is it still incest if we don't share one single chromosome?)
>>
>>692564955
good job anon
>>
>>692565059
Well that makes sense, try and shoot an animal such as a fox.
>>
>>692564965
What the fuck? How do you not know the cast of rugrats
>>
Some dude road raged and i hit him in the face, he falls to the ground and car goes over him. Rest in (3) pieces mister roadrage.
>>
>>692556327
My brother fingered me once, and for a few seconds, I let him do it...regret it
>>
>>692565301
Hey sis, i was just about to tell that story but you came before me once again.
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>>692565242
woooow man! that totes happened!
>>
>>692565023
Gets a recolor and is suddenly stronger and makes gayer jokes
>>
>>692556327
I fucked a guy in the afternoon and went and met up with a different guy a few hours later. He ate my pussy; i didn't shower from the first fuck. My whore phase was bad..
>>
Was getting snowboard lessons at a ski resort. Took off the snowboard, accidentally let it slide down a hill. Some kid at the bottom slipped on it and fell flat on his back, didn't get up. I nope'd out
>>
>>692565406
Ah shit.
>>
>>692565406
Fucking keked
>>
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>>692565023
You're going down, Frieza.
>>
>>692565186
Read up on some anatomy youll realise it matters for about fuck all wether or not spunk ran down on the outside of her twat
>>
>>692565301
INCEST
INCEST
INCEST
INCEST
INCEST
>>
>>692565528
>>
A couple of years ago I had a friend who had a SMOKING hot wife from Nepal. She had been a model in Asia for many years before she got married and had kids.

He was a friend of mine but had recently screwed me over for a substantial amount of money. We had moved on and remained friends, but I was still bitter about it.

On this particular night, my friend got really drunk and passed out early and his wife and I ended up fucking on the roof of the apartment building.

He was asleep on the couch when we were quietly sneaking back into the apartment from some hot sex and I still had some cum and pussy juice on my fingers.

As I was walking by the couch where he was sleeping I decided to wipe my fingers all over the glass of water that was next to him.

The next morning I saw him drink from the glass where I wiped my cum and his wife's pussy juice all over it...

Keep the money man....I'll just take your wife's pussy instead.
>>
>>692558499
Drink more
>>
>>692565414
Well, you can believe me if you want but hes dead now, ima try to find a video from youtube where u can see mr roadrage flying, he didnt actually went to pieces but almost.
>>
>>692565186
yeah but there's always that fear. that 1%.
It's a 1 in a million chance but I bet there were about 10 million chances considering how much i came.
>>
Accessed the 4th channel
Still regret it
>>
i use a hamster like a tennis ball
>>
>>692565968
What nationality are you?
>>
>>692558153
pics?
>>
>>692560414
Fap to it, get aroused by it, who gives a shit.

I know plenty of normies that are into shit like hentai, yaoi and all that jazz. People are fucked up, but mostly we don't admit it.

As long as it's not interfering with your desires towards your girl, and doesn't take up too much of your thoughts on a normal basis, then don't mind it. Furfag-hate is literally a meme at this point.
>>
I oncee owned a minority stock in Tumblr, I sold it for $347 and bought a cheap laptop and some clothes
>>
>>692556563
Selfish faggot
>>
>>692556327
>Neighbor kids forced me and one of their lil sisters fuck as thay watched in the woods.
>>
>>692561890
Its fake
>>
>>692565513
Lol I can top that. I lost at beer pong and ended up fucking the winners together.
>>
>>692557782
>>>reddit
>>
>>692558094
+1
>>
Was really horny one time and I jerked off and sucked off my dog lol
>>
i once lived in a duplex apartment
huge hole in wall across from toilet under sink
i could sit on pot and see neighbors toilet though hole
lovely black milf lived next door
she would cover hole with towel
sometimes when i was in bathroom, she'd remove towel
she would sit on her toilet, me on mine
i could only see her feet and knees, but i could hear
we'd jerk it together, each hearing the other's ecstasy
i'd let cum spill onto floor so she could see
she'd moan louder so i could hear
once finished, she'd cover hole back up
this went on for months
i'd see her sometimes outside at the mailbox
we both acted like it never happened
>>
>>692566211
I checked this guy's dubs
>>
>>692566186
Murican
>>
>>1 #
[TEST IGNORE]
>>
>>692556327
I stole my friend's GF and fucked her every night. she would come out with excuses so she could avoid him and have sex with me.
>>
>>692559712
Was cleaning up a months worth of cat piss really worth it?
>>
>>692566552
OH FUCK
>>
When I was a kid I was alone in my living room so I grabbed my cat and pretended to fuck it. Then I looked out my garden and saw a builder looking in. I put the cat down and ran to my bedroom.
>>
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I was dating this really hot high schooler that I met at my shitty retal job in college. She was only about 4-5 years younger than me (age of consent in my state is 17) but was drop dead gorgeous. She had been having a few minor heath problems and didn't feel like having sex for like 5 months. At this point I was ready to fuck anything that moves (and I was kind of depressed and was drunk all the time) so I cheated on her. I went home with some 5/10 slut from the bar, and I literally never even caught her name. Fucked her raw (stupid, but turned out ok) and came inside her and left. This was at like 4am or something and later that day/night I went to a party back where I grew up. This girl I kinda used to date (but never did anything with) was there and we proceeded to get shitfaced. There were not enough beds so we shared and ended up fucking. Again, totally raw and came inside her. It was kind of fucked up but we talked about my girlfriend almost the whole time we fucked She would say things like "don't worry, I'll never tell X" and "I'm not even here" and "I want you to cum inside me so I can walk around with you inside me while she doesn't get any". Kind of fucked up but W/E. Con't...
>>
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Gave a girl Herpes simplex 1 in her vag due to oral sex. Her family found out. I dumped her in front of her family a month later.
>>
>>692556327
Held down and drew a Hitler mustache on a Jewish autistic kid as a teen.
>>
>>692566891
Alpha as fuck
>>
I have groped my sister in law's tits on her sleep since she she was 15
>>
>>692556327
I've been fucking my cousin since we were 12 and 13, I'm now 23. We have done it in every room of every family house and do time challenges every time there's a family reunion.
>>
>>692567005
This made me laugh
>>
>>692567005
Kek
>>
>>692566495
Lol if true that's wild.
>>
>>692559781
You should go get aids and then give it to them.
Win Win
>>
Once I was 7 years old and I fucked my mother. My dick was so big it came out of her mouth and she died.
>>
>>692559429
i used to do someting like thata but with hamsters
>>
Harassed an emotionally-unstable jewish autist in middle school, with the intention of making him kill himself. I was a weird kid. I had some friends who helped me try this, but thankfully we were unsuccessful. He did transfer to a new school though.
>>
Stayed over my friend's place and fucked his drunk gf when she came out to the living room after he'd gone to sleep.
>>
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>>692556327
I fucked a pickle when I was a preteen
>>
>>692559781
that's actually kind of hot
>>
>>692567586
>emotionally unstable jewish autist kid
kek
>>
>>692567586
Theres literally nothing wrong with the jewish religion
>>
>>692567586
Then he went on to become a famous director and marry his step-daughter
>>
>>692567267
i was 12, she must have been like 40, she had 2 grown sons.
>>
>>692567775
RETARD ALERT EVERYONE
>>
>>692567749
Idk how else to describe him. He was the most insufferable, neurotic person I'd met at that point in my life. Absolutely hated him.
>>
>>692563700
i'm on blog tv with my fucking hands up
>>
>>692556487
Do you live in Louisiana? If so, my grandma may have rescued the cat.
>>
>>692567879
Not >>692567775 but if hes so retarded can you state the flaws?
>>
>>692567898
I should also mention, 3 of his brothers died in a really bad car accident just before this began. He had a tard wrangler follow him around from class to class. That's when we decided to fuck with him. I really regret it.
>>
ive loved pizza since i was 12 now im 19
>>
When I was about 12 or 13, I used to babysit the kids down the street. Once after the kids were in bed, I rubbed my dick on the family cat until I came in its fur. I'm 31 years old now and I've never told this to anyone. I don't have an animal fetish or anything, but I was definitely going through some body changes and this is how those changes manifested themselves.

I still wonder if the parents found my hardened cum in the cat's fur.
>>
>>692568115
Thats also why I describe him as "emotionall-unstable."
>>
>>692567411
Story pls
>>
>>692567411
94 edgy 96 me
>>
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>>692557504
>put it in my mouth
>i feel ashamed
>such pleasure
>>
>>692568142

This is unfortunately but a degree or two away from normal. Young teens are super fucking horny man.
>>
>>692566836
Haha omg, I did the same thing only it was my brother who saw me.
>>
Hello, fbi
>>
>>692558165
yeah, like how hard is to to phne emergency services then bolt? If you really don't want to stay atleast call and know you did your best
>>
>>692568081
1. jews caused the Black Death
2. jewish gangs killed my mother
3. the jews also killed my dad
4. they are ugly
>>
Sister and I used to sexually experiment with each other by going down on one another and fingering until my dad caught us.
>>
>>692568422
dubs confirms it what can i say
>>
I convinced a chick who cuts herself that I cut myself and this goes on for several days then I say I don't cut and she leaves me
>>
I danced like no one was watching one time.
>>
My parents had this "personal vibrating massager" that I literally thought was just meant to massage sore muscles. I liked to play with it at age 7 or so, and at age 8, I found out that it felt really good if I put it on my dinky.

tfw you have your first orgasm at age 8 with your mom's vibrator and continue using it to cum for 2 or 3 more years.
>>
>>692568546
What did he say?
>>
>>692568367
Nice, high five!
>>
>>692561784
Prove it faggot
>>
>>692556327
and the ugly people losers smell like shit like beyonce and the ugly guys losers smell like shit like beyonce and the ugly guys losers is ugly and bothers people and thats why the ugly guys losers is ugly n smell like shit like beyonce
and the popular people proved another reason why the ugly guys losers and the ugly people losers is pathatic and ugly
but the ugly guys losers and the ugly people losers is going to be smart and act like they dont smell like shit like beyonce and isnt ugly but still cock block women n guys cause smell like dog shit n is ugly like the ugly guys losers and the ugly people losers that outnumber everybody
and the ugly people losers and the ugly guys losers say there better then the popular people and thats why the ugly people losers and the ugly guys losers is lame and smell like shit like beyonce and the popular people proved another reason why the ugly people losers and the ugly guys losers is pathatic and smell like shit like beyonce and is lame and is ugly
and the ugly guys losers that is ugly as shit and got rejected by the popular people still hurt the popular people and attrative loser people the ugly way and thats another proof that the popular people proved that the ugly people losers and the ugly guys losers is pathatic and ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and try to be better then everybody and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and has no friends and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is lame and ugly
and the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and get rejected by women and guys cause smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly
and the ugly guys losers smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to bother people and is lame and ugly cause smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly
>>
>>692568648
He flipped a fucking lid, smacked both of us and and wouldn't let us share a room anymore.
>>
Poured grape soda on a sleeping homeless guy on a bench. He woke up but didnt do anything. Just started crying.
>>
>>692568707

What's wrong with you?
>>
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>>692568422
>>
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>>692560422
>>
>>692568928
We have a mental disorder type 62
>>
>>692557504
Dude, are you aware of fetlife? make a fetlife account. and realize you don't have to feel shamed about your private fetishes. we are what we are. find an acceptable way to enjoy it.
>>
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>>692567729
I'll greentext

>Be little 12 year old me
>I fucking love pickles
>Just to eat not to fuck
>One day notice the shape of the pickle
>It's shaped a bit bigger than my little 3 inch horndog
idea.graphicsinterchangeformat
>Get a whole pickle from the fridge
>Cold but whatever
>Eat off the little end
>Start eating out the pickle with my tongue
>Getting really in there
>The time has finally come
>Lay down and insert willy
>Just start masturbating with it
>It feels okay but nothing special
>Dry orgasm inside the dick pickle
>Proceed to eat said sex pickle
>My cock smells like straight up dill for a few days
>Has a strange yellow tint for about a week

5 years later
>Decide to buy a fleshlight
>Buy a fleshlight
>Realize my pickle fucking habit has gone full circle

No regrets, /b/tards. No regrets at all.
>>
>>692568817
Damn bro he probably made it awkward as fuck instead of explaining it was a fucking mistake ahah.
>>
>>692568817
Good dad. He reacted appropriately. Sounds like the type of dude who is able to look you in the eye after doing something fucked up like that, not hold it against you and let it haunt him.
>>
>>692559813
>ice cold AND commited
have you considered a career in a corporate office?
>>
I've eaten the testicles of a ram
>>
>>692569152
Nice subtle advertising faggot.
>>
>>692569047
I had this in mind when I wrote this shot again. I was wishing I still had this saved. You're a cool guy anon
>>
>>692569212
Were you an only child?
>>
When I was younger, maybe about 9 or 10, our family basically had one of our sisters friends living with us due to her own poor household life. Every night I would take off her shirt and grope her breasts for as long as I thought I could get away with it. I can't tell if she was a heavy sleeper or she just enjoyed it, but some nights she would wear looser clothing, or have her bra unclipped. No pics. Didn't think of it at the time.
>>
>>692568831
Dude.....
>>
>>692569443
Uh no why?
>>
>>692556327
im a mother too. engaged without a date because it makes more sense financially. cool beans. didn't know I was represented on 4chan
>>
>>692569544
Just wondering.
>>
I had a serious relationship with my cousin for about 3 or so months
>>
>>692556327
Got hooked on adderall. Would jerk off for 6 or more hours while abusing it. Got crazy horny. Would get so crazy that I'd start watching gay porn.

Got fixated by it but only when high. Otherwise it disgusted me.

On addy one day, get an invitation to go to a P&P with some guys. Accept invitation and score some addy for my big day.

Get to house, a bunch of average looking dudes and me. Super awkward. We all take a bunch of addy and chill on the couch. At least 7 guys there.

Addy starts to kick in so we play str8 porn on tv. Starts really kicking in so start jerking off. Eventually, we are all crazy upped so we start sucking each other off. Take more addy and it gets worse.

Bareback anal orgy begins. Guys who start feeling less high ask the high guys to piss in their ass which gets them high again.

Took 4 loads in my ass. Couldn't hold in a shit for a few days. Felt extreme shame and still do to this day. Contemplating offing self in shame.

Inb4 no i didnt get aids.
>>
Jacked off in the portapotties at work
Came all over walls
Drew and wrote satanic symbolism for the keks of it.
People used to erase it every day only to find it there next morning
>>
>>692561847
Some of us need the secret more than we need the drug
>>
>>692568831

This is a lowdown nigger move. This is the type of shit that fucking niggers do for fun.

http://youtu.be/3xSgFe6Qi_0

Go to 35:27, you nigger.
>>
>Fucked a horse
>Had sex multiple times in cemetary
>>
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>>692557504
>>
I put a dead mino inside of a book in my high school's library. I just graduated. Really hoping no one finds it until it starts to smell horrible. It's inside of a book on a shelf.
>>
>>692569720
I'm interested. What would have made it seem that I was based on what I wrote?
>>
>>692556563
Damn. Harsh..
>>
>>692556327
My friend was a fucking loser and i got tired of hearing him cry about being a virgin. So i made a catfish account and with the help of a friend created the perfect internet girlfriend for him. Once he started flirting with girls irl, she got "sick" and "died" a few months later. He was kind of a fag about it, but fucked like a month later.
>>
>>692569866
What the fuck man. Seriously, what the fuck?
>>
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I'm a boy (18 years old), and I used to get nude and jerk off for random guys on Omegle and those webcam chat room sites.

I was 14-16 when I did it, so someone out there probably has kiddy porn of me.
>>
About 10 years ago I saw a lonely child sitting on the curb. I asked him what was wrong and he smiled.
"I'm lonely." he said.
"Come with me."
"How about you come with me!"
He got up and I chased after him. After a few minutes of running, I got tired. He ran and ran until I saw him go into an alleyway. Such a foolish kid. I walked up to the entrance and saw him sitting at the end with his back to me. I unzipped my pants and got ready. The kid turned around hiding his hands behind his back.
"Come over here." I said.
The kid sat still. As I got up to him, he ran at me with a pocketknife and jabbed it in my stomach. I fell over, grasping my stomach in pain and the kid repeatedly stabbed me while crying. Eventually he left and I sat there, lifeless, until I went down into Hell. Now I sit here next to the other sinners and enjoy the computer and working Internet down here.
>>
>>692564445
>Went out to the bar once when recently out of a relationship.
>Normally a very respectful, not adulterous person
>Dancing up a drunken storm
>Outta nowhere hot girl pulls me in and gets nice and close
>We dance pretty intimately for a bit and talk a little
>Good chemistry
>Bar closes and everyone starts filing outside
>She thanks me for dancing with her and giving her a fun night
>Stay close to girl, once outside and around the corner grab her by the waist and throw her against the wall, try to kiss her
>Starts looking around nervously
>"Listen, I'm sorry, I'm married but me and my husband got in a big fight tonight so I went out dancing with friends to let off some steam. Thank you again for keeping me company"
>Still holding my body against hers, she's looking around, friends aren't anywhere near
>I say, 'That's cool, i understand, it was still a fun night"
>She smiles, looks around again, still no friends in sight
>Lean in and start making out with her
>She stops it pretty quick, "no, sorry, I really can't"
>"Yeah, I know", kiss her again
>"Fuck you're a good kisser"
>Start to see the guilt on her face, feel bad, but bitter about my own break up and drunk
>Kiss her again anyway, dick hard, pressing into her, she likes it
>Now I can see she is really starting to feel bad
>I apologize and say, "look, I don't want to be that guy," and back off by a foot or two
>She says, "that's ok, you seem like a good guy, it's my fault too"
>Not much to say, awkward silence
>She says, "shit, I can't find my phone, can you call it?"
>Realize she wasn't even looking for her phone but take her number and call it anyway
>She opens her purse, her phone is right there, first thing you see
>She looks at me with guilt and says, "don't use my number, if you call me I'll kill you"

Contemplated texting her the next day but didn't want to ruin her relationship, always regretted not trying to fuck her.
>>
>>692563123
did he kick your ass
>>
>>692570604
Seems legit
>>
>>692570604
Deserved it bitch
>>
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>>692570602
>>
>>692570456
This is brilliant

You did him a favor unless he was all fucked up by her death, then you traded one complaint for another I'm guessing.
>>
>>692570604
>>692570839
>>692570844
Samefag
Thread replies: 314
Thread images: 27


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