ITT: Post your secrets
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
ITT: Post your secrets
I have a mini massager that I'm currently using on my clit as a vibrator
I am a middle school teacher on summer break right now. Throughout this summer I am and will be going out with one of my female students. Before this past school year ended, she gave me a blowjob. You're the only one that knows, /b/.
Also, /b/ saved my life.
I used to break into this girls locker in highschool to sniff her gym clothes after class.
I'm a virgin. I'm travelling next month and I'm hoping to lose my v-card.
>>691890537
I secretly hate nigras
>>691890971
Green text, anon.
I have a secret desire to be castrated.
>>691892007
via rape or consensual?
I have ADHD and very mild ASD.
Im so lonely I have conversations in my mind with my ex-boyfriend who left me one year and a half ago.
Am I that crazy?
>>691892486
Why?
i'm a virgin
>>691893623
That's a surprise
>>691893467
pro-tip: if you even have to ask if you're crazy, you're crazy.
>>691893267
Adhd doesnt exist faggot
>>691893467
tits or gtfo
When i finished my school i started to chating with my ex teacher. Everything was cool, we started chating more and more, longer and longer. Firstly it was nothing special (talking about films, hows it going for me in university and ect.), but after few months we started flirting (she started to ask how is going for me with girls/women). So after another few months of flirting we started meet each other, go to caffe and just spend time together.
When summer came she invited me to join her and her news class to go on kayaks and i agree. I enjoyed that time because we went with same kayak, and since it was summer she weared only bikini (she was 33, so her body looked realy amaizing). When night came, one of her students offer "night kayaking" so we agree. We took the lead, so we decided to stop and wait for others. Since no one was comming afer 5min, she decided to come in the back (where i was sitting). We flirted for couple minutes, when i took all the courage and kissed her for the first time. We kissed for few minutes, and there was breaking point when i needed to decide if i will go for more, or i will step back... And i did step back (my lack of confidence hit me). After kayking we still met each other, kissed but nothing more. I screwed everything after couple of months. We started to argue because i was dumb and wanted for more than just meet, and since she was married, she dind't wanted to divorce. We had argues almost every day when she finaly ended all. I can't look in her eyes untill now when i see her. Too ashamed of what happened
English is not my first languange, so i hope you understood everything
my girlfriend pisses me off to all ends, and I really want to break up with her, but I can't find the willpower to do it. Me and Her are just so right for each other in 95% of ways. I just can't break up with her, I don't want to, but I just feel like I have a chance of being happier on my own.
I also want to date a different girl, I play DnD with her once a week. I would love to date her too, but she has a boyfriend and I have little to no chance because she is actually pretty and I'm below average.
I also want to just not be in a relationship period, I would be happy just being by myself. I'm just afraid of being lonely due to my severe Paranoid Schizophrenia.
I don't know what to do with my life and at some points just don't want to even live it because I don't see myself having a future.
I would like some advice from anyone really.
>>691893701
Self profiling prophecy actually
Im a psychopath, thats my secret
I miss my ex's, both of them, even though I'm currently in a relationship with a girl who treats me like 1000% times better. Like everything about this girl is better minus one thing and that's the sex. But it's not the sex that's making me miss the others, it's that I can't have them. Ugh fuck my human nature.
>>691890537
I'm too stupid to see that my gf is clearly cheating on me
>>691894359
Good sex and relationship compatibility seldom go hand in hand I'm afraid.
The more you know.
>>691894359
I understand. Don't dump her, it would be stupid.
I used to pour cum into my sisters food whenever I cooked anything for her. Also licked her butthole when she was sleeping once. It was pretty great
>>691893834
[citation needed]
Unlike 95% of 4chan users, I'm NOT a faggot cuck. I just pretend to be to fit in when I'm bored and have nothing else to do.
>>691892320
It's a bit boring, but sure. There's some new developments too so I'll include those.
>be me, middle school gym teacher
>one student in gym class (i work at a school with co-ed gym classes. it gets brought up every time i greentext this) is struggling with her fitness test, especially the distance running portion
>does the good teacher thing, asks her to join my run training club with other students
>she does so, trains very hard for months with me
>fitness level improves by a lot, passes test with flying colours
>she's now the fastest distance runner in her grade
>we spent lots of time together. she'd hang out with me during break and after school
>drives her home sometimes after run training
>oblivious me didn't know how she felt
>month before school's out, had a running session where no one but her showed up because everyone else was in summer mode
>she makes her move
>too weak to resist young cute girl
>she gives me head in the gym equipment room
>panics later that night, considers turning myself in/suicide
>comes to /b/ for advice
>/b/ fucking gives good advice, tells me not to confess or kill myself
>follows /b/'s advice and proceeds with caution
>few days later, talks to her in private, saying we can't do that again, that i was wrong to take advantage of her, and if she wanted to we can talk to the principal together
>she was very sad at first, but said she didn't want me in trouble/blames herself
>she wants things to go back to before our incident, told her we could work on that, over the summer
>i know i'm still terrible, but slowly justifying that if she was to be with anyone, at least with me she'd be safe, and wants to give her a meaningful experience even if it won't last
>school's out now, so far i've taken her hiking, cycling, and movie night
>farthest we've gone was just a short kiss on the lips
That's it so far, sorry I type slow.
Last night I had the best sex of my life with my ex in my car at a park. I'm married and have a child
>>691892754
Via monetary transaction probably. I'm a beta male.
>>691890971
I know these girl, live down the street from them.
>>691894909
Greentext the bj situation in detail?
>Gay friend tells me he has an armpit fetish.
>Tells him I'll let him do stuff to me for $100
>Agrees and ties me to the bed.
>Wearing a tank top.
>Friend tickles my armpits for a few minutes.
>Puts a gag and blindfold on me.
>Promptly licks my left armpit.
>Shit tickles so much.
>Goes to other armpit and does same
>Goes on for 20 minutes.
>Pulling on cuffs since his tongue going across >my bare pit tickles like no other.
>Stops and puts baby lotion on my armpits.
>Tickles my for another 15 minutes.
>After it's all done I'm sweating and smelly.
>Friend licks my armpits one more time after >wiping off the lotion but keeping on the >sweat/deodorant.
>Still jack off to it.
Friends see me as one of the happiest motherfucker existing, always on a good mood, smiling, laughing and up for everything.
Reality, i'm just enjoying my last days here. Planning to kill self, soon.
>>691890537
I love being with her, but I'm not sure if I love her. I'm not sure if I love anyone. I feel such strong sexual lust towards attractive girls, and she's just not like them. She's the only one who understands and cares for me, but I want to fuck this other girl so badly.
She was my first kiss and took my virginity within a week. We were 18 and it's been about a year. Idk what i'm feeling, or if i'm feeling anything.
I work from home and live with my girlfriend.
Last Monday, instead of doing any work, I drove an hour away to fuck the shit out of this other chick. I even timed it to come home an hour early and shower so my gf had no idea what happened.
I don't even feel that bad about it.
>>691893933
That really sucks, bro, but that's a lot of guys' fantasy you got to live out.
>>691890537
I jack off to nudes of my sister her bf posts on here.
>>691894509
Agreed, it's not that it's bad, it's just... Different
>>691894587
Naw, I'm not going to, she treats me way to well.
I've been fucking my wife's cousin for over a decade. When I first met the wife, her cousin was 8. I'm 40 now.
>>691895102
girls*
On my iPhone bleh
It wasn't a mistake
It was ME
I fucking did it
And I fucking despise everyone that believed me when I said I didn't
And I fucking hate the way I have to lie about it
I wish I could just be someone else, but this is the monster I am and I have to fucking fight it every day of my life
The only reason I haven't killed myself is because you whiny fucks would miss me
>>691893467
You answered your own question before you even asked it.
>>691895102
Merrells? I heard they're moving soon, is that true? Do you know them personally?
I just fucked my ass with a cucumber
>>691890537
I have a Reddit account
>>691894909
i remember when you posted that thread originally lol
i gave you some advice that day. i said you're going to fulfill her fantasy and give her fap material for life if you dont fuck it up
don't fuck up, OP!
I have been sleeping with my wife's sister for 6 years now.
Me 30
Wife 29
Her sister 24
Married for 2.5 years. No regrets.
>>691895752
Absolute madman
>>691893>>691893949
Sorry dude.
You should improve your hygiene, exercise, and try to learn a skill. Take pride in yourself, I'm sure you can excel at anything you put your mind to.
Thoughts of suicide are pretty tuff, they make hard to involve yourself in the real world. disliking everything around you... it almost seems scripted because how detached you are.
Find some friends. Real friends that you can talk to, and want to talk to you. You'll see that life is at least interesting enough to keep on going.
>>691895325
I dreamed about her since 9th grade (when she started be my class teacher), and when i had opportunity to make my dreams come true, i was to scared
>>691890537
I fucking hate that stock image you used.
>>691890537
When i was 16, me and my family lived next to these mexicans who had a daughter that was about 8.
She often came over to my little sisters house to play and one day, her family and our family went to have dinner together so I was left to watch them.
On that day, she wore some of the tightest and sexiest shorts I've ever seen, they hugged her tight brown body perfectly and turned my dick to diamonds.
I got so horny that when I played games with the girls like tag and hide and seek, I'd often try to cup a feel of her ass and slide my hands across her flesh.
I got so horny for her to the point where I'd fap to her as I looked at her from the window, or if I was really horny, if she was alone I'd quickly pick her up, have my hands on her ass, and give her a firm squeeze and I grinded against her.
It eventually got to the point where she got annoyed and told me she'd tell her parents if I didnt stop, so naturally I agreed and nothing came from that.
Thankfully her and her parents moved, but I loved her ass and she is probably what got me into loli.
>>691890537
I watch My little pony : friendship is magic
>>691895626
I do know them personally, not sure about the moving thing, been a while since I've spoken with them. They're both really pretty sweet girls.
>>691893267
ADHD is your fucking secret are you kidding me, literally everyone I know has "ADHD" apparently.
I share nudes of both my ex and current gf on /b/ all the tim
>>691890729
girl i feel you
>>691892486
Castration is my fetish.
Sometimes my gf texts me through regular text instead of whapp.. Am I getting cuckd? I feel like she's avoiding someone. Please help me guys, I'm literally going mental right now, I asked her why and she just says I don't know. Makes no fucking sense, she's getting charges for regular texts. Any similar stories or something?
>>691895174
I don't like kissing and telling in details. It was awkward. She didn't know what she was doing but she tried hard.
>>691890537
I'm an Office Manager for a nationwide business. I told my employees I was leaving early today to run some errands.
In reality, I'm an alcoholic and just wanted to go home and drink alone.
>>691890537
I'm a furry, a brony, do sexual online roleplay A LOT (not MLP roleplay, don't sink that low, despite having a collection of Clop), and at one point wrote an MLP fanfiction. Fluttershy is best pone.
GF was cheating on me, stole her phone to take any nudes she had, posted them on /b/ then told her I just happened to see them online.
>>691890537
Ive been living my life since the age of 5 as a lie, playing this game called life in a shell of what im supposed to be, ive been coming out to the community to see if i can make any friends or gain support for transitioning into my true identity as a female...19 and still trying. so OP that was my deepest secret
>>691890729
Calling your microdick a clit, how cute
>>691896082
I agree on fluttershy is best poni
>>691896195
Best of luck anon, it sucks that people can't just be themselves
>>691896021
Hey if /b/ gave you life-saving advice, the least we deserve is a lil greentext of the juicy part.
I used to suck dicks for toys as a kid
>>691894859
I think 95% of us are like you, actually
>>691893701
If you think you're crazy, you're not crazy
I dont know where you got that retarded ass idea
>>691895278
Be sure you do some good for someone on the day you do it. Spread a little love before you go. See ya on the other side man.
>>691896072
Ma nigga
I consider myself as a straight man, but once in a while I fantasize with giving a handjob to a dude with a huge cock. I don't know why, I don't even like the idea of being penetrated or having a relationship with a man.
>>691893949
What does your girlfriend do to piss you off all the time? I find it surprising that you think you're 95% perfect for eachother if it's to the point of you wanting another girl or maybe even wanting to be left alone. Your relationship with her doesn't sound as perfect as you make it out to be.
As for the mental illness, have you ever tried medication? I know a lot of people choose to stay away from that but if your struggle is severe enough I think it's worth a shot. Meds have made a world of difference for me with my depression.
And then, for he lack of direction, just get a job and live your fucking life. It'll come to you. Take it day by day. You'll figure it out as you go. It's hard to know what you want if you haven't tried anything.
>>691896339
Thanks :)
>>691895562
I would miss you. Don't leave me just yet.
>>691896361
Kek
I might go to jail for posting my ex gf nude on 4 chan but I just can't stop ... And I taught people to post the pics they savec
>>691894859
Whatever helps you sleep at night.
>>691894436
What a dumb contradicting sentence.
I'm the type of person who can only do monogamous relationship, and I generally hate the idea of random hook-ups, but sometimes I seriously just consider finding a girl who will suck my dick until my eyes roll in the back of my head.
>>691895778
I remember you too! I'm so thankful that there are real people that venture /b/ after all and saved my life. I could have been in prison or dead if it wasn't for you anonymous good folks.
The whole forbidden relationship thing is keeping her content I think.
>>691896366
I think so too. I'm 36, and lead a pretty normal life, but still come here after all these years because it's a great relief from boredom.
>>691896657
No you won't
>>691895278
The joy you're experementing now is the most intense a man can feel. Now nothing is important cause you're gonna die soon and this is freedom.
>>691890537
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic cause the popular people has proof that the ugly people losers has to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause is a little pussy and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause try to be better then the popular people but is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and cant hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people so thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers on tv and movies and facebook and school and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and pathatic and is still going to cock block the popular people and attrative loser people in the future
I've been eating my boogers for as long as I can remember. Probably around 3-4 years old. I'm 19 now.
I am a financial manager debating if this is worth it or should I end my stress ridden life
I have some kind of deep-seated fear or intolerance of people with Asperger's and Down Syndrome. I can sense them anywhere in the room with an internal radar, I can feel them breathing through their mouths, and whenever they start talking I want to yell at them to shut up.
I know that sounds incredibly autistic in its own right, but I'm just telling it as it is.
>>691895278
Start taking prescription pain killers, like OxyContin. Dude, was super unhappy myself after my fiancé left me and honestly after I started taking them I just could not be happier.
>>691890537
I suck massive dick.
My wife has no idea.
I can't stop staring at my cousin's 10/10 ass
>>691895799
Ur a fucking jackass and truly deserve to die.
>>691896846
Samsies
>>691896831
You said ugly like 80 times then
Im easily the most evil person here atm
I am not trying to brag or be edgy
I have done such unspeakable horrible things I am afraid of posting them here due to lol nsa
But suffice to say my sins are nonredeemable, horrible, and should net me death.
>>691890537
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic cause the popular people has proof that the ugly people losers has to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause is a little pussy and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause try to be better then the popular people but is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and cant hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people so thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers on tv and movies and facebook and school and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and pathatic and is still going to cock block the popular people and attrative loser people in the future
>>691896979
Do show
>>691895352
Post pics that he posts! we want to see your sis too
>>691896773
How do you know it's illegal and I got caught cause of white knight faggots
>>691897015
Wife?
>>691895864
But you did have something with her, and hey, she was even married, so good for you!
When I was in 11th grade I got flirty with an English student teacher. She was so perfect, but I couldn't push it further than just being flirty, and I haven't seen her since her assignment was over.
>>691895352
Post them pls?
I had sex with a 15 year old girl who claimed to be 17, in a country where the age of consent is 16.
I'm 19 so it's not awful, but it sure feels weird.
>>691896368
Thank you.
>>691896195
Wow the feels are real with this post
>>691897192
>but it sure feels weird.
you must be gay then
>>691897040
You won't go to jail. Tell us for fucks sake.
I've done so many autistic things as a child that I can't make any friends without one person bringing back those shitty memories.
>>691895562
What happened?
>>691895913
That's awesome! I only knew them from their youtube channel (I actually first heard of them because of Joe Weller doing wrestling finishers on Roni lol).
Do they act like what they're like on youtube? As in, Roni's that cool chick that you can bro out with when you want, and Nessa is that sweet and innocent girl that we all love?
>>691896195
faggot
>be me
>have awesome gf
>been with her for very long time
>she has lost sex drive
>still love her so we stay together
>every 3 months i pay 150$ for another girl to give me a bare back blowjob
>keeps me sane
>>691897067
Simple. Don't get caught.
>>691897377
What I mean is that it feels weird to be a statuatory rapist by law.
>>691895467
So those ages don't really say anything are you pedo or what faggot, for all I know you've been married for 20 years and she was 18 when you started fucking
Raped my ex once. she was 15 i was 17. I convinced her that she wanted it and nearly brainwashed her to believe it.
I cheated on my gf when I was 14. Sounds dumb but I lost my virginity to her when I was 13 and I've been friends/fuck buddies with her for years now. But I still cheated on her and it looks over my head even to this day. What do /b/?
>>691896758
right on dude. don't make any electronic evidence (e.g. texting, videos, pics) and dont get too many feelings bc it's bound to end at some point. glad you didn't go turn yourself in or something that rly would have ruined your life lol
>>691897455
Dubs = true
>>691896014
Help anyone?
>>691897671
It's also worth mentioning that I completely mindfulness with the girl I cheated with
>>691897646
I used to pray my high school bf would rape me. He never did even when I told him I wanted him to.
>>691895562
Personally, I most definitely wouldn't give two shits. Do a back flip on your way out I dunno. If you're gonna be this edgy just do it and write what you did on a note.
I use lucid dreaming to fuck girls I want to but can't in real life
>>691890537
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic cause the popular people has proof that the ugly people losers has to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause is a little pussy and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause try to be better then the popular people but is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and cant hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people so thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try too hard and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is smart and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is a little pussy and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way and is ugly so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers on tv and movies and facebook and school and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and pathatic and is still going to cock block the popular people and attrative loser people in the future
so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly and is a little pussy and try to hurt the popular people and attrative loser people the ugly way and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and is smart and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try to be better then the popular people and everybody and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and ugly n plus smell like shit like beyonce so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly
>>691897149
Yeah, at least i had some amaizing moments with her.
Fun fact that she is not just married, but also teach kids about religion at school and also works in church
>>691890971
>Anonymous 06/27/16(Mon)22:47:2
Say hi to the FBI for me
I lost my virginity to a psycho 18-year-old still in high school when I was 28.
>>691897671
dont worry about it, you'll be out of middle school in a few years and there are plenty more vaginas out there.
>>691895859
my hygiene is meh, I Wrestle (gonna be in senior year of High School, 18 not underage) and I box, and Im a section leader in the band. I even went to state for a Solo. And I don't know why I fucking hate literally everything. I have tried to make friends but people piss me off because any "friends" i have just fucking make my life a hell.
>>691896484
Honestly, we have a lot in common and see eye to eye on basically everything. She just pisses me off because she does stupid shit for the sole purpose of making me mad, just to see if I'm actually trying in the relationship anymore. That's what is pushing me to the edge. I mean, I can't even enjoy video games anymore because she wants to play every fucking game I own and when she does she ruins the experience for me, but I keep my mouth shut about it. I just think it's the fact me and her have been together for almost 2 years now and I'm scared to try to live without a crutch in my mental health.
as for the meds, I have them but they stopped working about a year ago, then I tried some new drug that made the hallucinations worse and lasted for over a day. Then in a bout of depression earlier this year I did acid, then smoked a lot of weed, then did acid again in a 2 month timeframe. I quit the drugs but seriously feel like I fucked up my mental status because nothing helps any more.
the lack of direction is probably what you said, I have a job and still need to finish high school. but yeah man, I'll try what you said.
I burned down a house in the ghetto.
I piss in the sink most times
In the other thread, they gave me the ability to control 10,000 rats and I chose to feed them all bread.
>>691896014
Explain, why is whapp better than texting? And how would she cuck you by sending SMS?
Do you mean she does it to make you spend money on texts? Easy, send whapp in response to her texts all the time.
>>691897879
i still meet up with her and 'abduct' her for some fun.
>>691897827
She's fucking you dad and dog trust me.
>>691895278
1-800-273-TALK
Don't do it m8
>>691898058
same here, 90% of the time. much easier and earth friendly
>>691897967
Lol Naaaah. Also the girl I was dating and am still friends with is 10/10 but the girl I cheated on was like a 6
>>691890729
Tits or gtfo
I talk to the radio in the car all the time. Anyone else do this.
>>691896082
Go to bed John
>>691890537
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic cause the popular people has proof that the ugly people losers has to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause is a little pussy and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause try to be better then the popular people but is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and cant hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people so thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try too hard and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is smart and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is a little pussy and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way and is ugly so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers on tv and movies and facebook and school and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and pathatic and is still going to cock block the popular people and attrative loser people in the future
so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly and is a little pussy and try to hurt the popular people and attrative loser people the ugly way and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and is smart and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try to be better then the popular people and everybody and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and ugly n plus smell like shit like beyonce so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly that is on tv or at school or on facebook or in movies
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers outnumber the popular people and everybody
>>691890537
I'm fucking my friend's girlfriend. Also I'm about to start fucking one of my best friend's girlfriend too.
>>691898058
Top kek, my dad caught my brother doing this about a year ago
>>691894909
Fortunately for you, middle school girls are totally great at keeping secrets. Otherwise you'd be headed for prison within the next year or two.
>>691898275
just to tell the hosts to stfu and no one gives a fuck and play some fucking music for fucks jesus nigger sake
There's that time I almost burnt the school down while I was in middle school. Not really a secret to people I tell nowadays but it is a secret to the school system.
>>691896014
Exact same thing happened to me. Yes, you're most likely being cucked.
>>691897192
>be me, 21 years old, late 2004
>be in military, about to deploy
>meet a girl on MySpace
>tells me shes 19
>fuck her twice before deployed
>I learn while deployed she was actually a freshman in high school
>panic at first but gradually become proud of it
>no regrets as of today
I wish I remembered her name. I'd look her up today given the chance.
>>691893701
If you think you're crazy you're probably a stupid faggot that needs to shut up already and literally no one likes to listen to you. You were the worst people in school. Fuck you.
>>691894909
holly shit, /b/ made you a chomo?
what are you going to do when they come for you?
>>691890537
It's my birthday today, and i hate it.
I don't want anyone to visit or call me because the question "How's your life going?" will be inevitable and the answer is "Stagnated, lonely and sad. And it's all my fucking fault."
Fuck birthdays, fuck me and fuck my life.
>But hey, it could be worse
Yes it could, but it doesn't help me at all.
Took over 10 Legal IQ tests with psychologists. I always land above 150 and have never told anyone. I failed through highschool because fuck other peoples standards, I was bullied constantly too and Relied on being the 'Funny Fat kid'
No Idea what to do. I'm smart, Borderline super genius but I don't have any motivation.
Fuck my life I guess.
Dubs and I'll kill myself?
>>691898468
I am glad this is not a ylyl
Fucked my wife's best friend. It was the best sex of my life. She's so hot.
I've sucked my own cock
>>691898063
No I don't give a fuck about my spending. I mean she's spending more, and she does it so whoever doesn't know she's online
>>691898586
i meant people who dont know if they are crazy or not are crazy, not ppl who think they are crazy are crazy.
>>691898621
I lost my dog on my birthday. so yeah. fuck em
>>691898058
It's just so much easier and cleaner.
>>691898659
>150
>Borderline super genius
Kek.
>>691898059
What the fuck are you talking about?
Either way, I laughed.
>>691896860
Nah I feel that man. I feel that so hard.
>>691898534
What happened? How did you get to the truth?
>>691898828
Elaborate on cleaner
>>691898798
I see your point now, anon. Call her out on it.
>>691898659
As opposed to those illegal iq tests I keep hearing about on the news
>>691890537
Im Gay, but no one know this
>>691898659
>failed through highschool
>super genius
makes perfect sense
>>691898999
Checked em
>>691898659
"borderline super genius?" 150 IQ? Horrible English? Are you 14 years old?
>>691896014
Calm down. Women are irrational and do shit like that for no reason.
>>691899080
Everyone knows it, faggot
>>691898690
her hair looks like shit.
>>691897040
Saying you're not trying to be edgy does not impede you from being, edgy.
>>691898621
Bro, I've been passing through depression since 2011, and since that year I always said "fuck my birthday, I don't want to see people ever again that day" and all the fucking years, my friends still managed to do something for me.
But last year, I told them that I really wanted to be alone that day, and do you know how it felt? Fucking lonely, this year I will celebrate my birthday again.
>>691898690
why would you stop? blackmail if you have to
>>691897984
If it was a black ghetto then I see nothing wrong with that.
>>691899080
sure, when you mean^^
>>691899227
Found the faggot, everyone!
I only love and care about her when we have sex.
I think I'm biromantic.
I don't fantisize about men, I don't get excited thinking about dicks, but I do like the feeling of cuddling with a close male friend. I once slept (literally slept) with a male friend and I really enjoyed it.
But I'd never fuck a guy.
>>691896449
Already planned, giving all my stuff to my roommate and sending all my money to my mother.
>>691896882
Nah. Against meds. Afraid that they will " changes " me. Seen my bro on Methadone and stuff like that when i was like 8, since i've not touched any pills.
>>691898199
I'm frenchfag. Not the good number. And not calling them anyway. I don't need advices like thoses or anything, just needed to tell somewhere that i'm planning this.
Just wondering how should i go. Already writted my letter.
>>691899432
Don't we all
>>691893949
Man, if you have nothing keeping you with this girl (marriage or kids) then gtfo.
I've been with my wife off and on for sixteen years and have known the whole time I'd been happier in life without her, but kids always kept me around.
>>691899272
Haven't stopped. Happened once. Would do it again. >>691899348
Oldest normal fag here married and having multiple affairs cause my wife won't fuck me anymore. But /b/ is my addiction. You faggots are twisted as fuck but I love it here
I have a 14 inch dick ..... Because i Tryed to many methods on making my dick bigger
>>691898888
Checked
>>691899521
Sounds pretty fuckin gay to me. But what do i know?
>>691899351
nah it really does look bad, she should stop trying to be blonde, or at least spend more than $10 to dye it once every 2 months or w/e shit she does now
>>691897967
You're in high school by the time you're 14 yah fuck.
I'm currently cheating on my gf with a recently single friend of mine. I've known her longer but I definitely like my gf more. It's just something about it that just turns me on. I really want to fuck her but I know that's an awful idea but she lives much closer and it's too easy to get her alone.
>>691897545
he probably has a hard time not getting caught after actually getting caught, don't you think?
I'm married to a beautiful woman but I've been wanting to transition and become a female for as long as I can remember.
>>691898789
I've also sucked my own cock!
>>691898888
Holy shit
Checked em
gf broke up with me cos I was touching her while she was asleep
I'm broken, but its my own fault
>>691897596
does not sound like you landed in jail, how did you get so lucky?
>>691893949
So you found someone who 95% matches you even with paranoid schizophrenia and you think you can do better. Ahahahaha
>>691899691
I know it does sound gay, but I have no reason to lie about myself on a japanese cartoon sharing platform.
I googled it a little and "biromantic" seems like what I'm is. I would never get into a relationship with a guy though, because I want to be able to fuck my partner and gay sex disgusts me.
Anyone else here like this?
I hide my wife that I pregnant another girl... at the same time she got pregnant by me
>>691899778
Bury that shit deep and have a normal life. You don't want to be known as a fuckin weirdo tranny. Everyone will seriously hate you.
>>691899950
I have proof, texts where she tells me she is actually 15, not 17 like the said.
>>691899173
Holly shit that actually calmed me as fuck, thank you. Not kidding. .
>>691899999
WITNESSED HOLY FUCK
Jeez I would like to see a pic of you sucking your own cock... Seriously
>>691890537
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic cause the popular people has proof that the ugly people losers has to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause is a little pussy and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause try to be better then the popular people but is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and cant hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people so thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try too hard and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is smart and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is a little pussy and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way and is ugly so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers on tv and movies and facebook and school and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and pathatic and is still going to cock block the popular people and attrative loser people in the future
so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly and is a little pussy and try to hurt the popular people and attrative loser people the ugly way and is desperate and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and is smart and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try to be better then the popular people and everybody and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and ugly n plus smell like shit like beyonce so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers or future ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly that is on tv or at school or on facebook or in movies
and the ugly people losers outnumber the popular people
>>691899778
Its earth, anyone can be anything. You go girl!
>>691899999
Roast of the century
chkeked
>>691890537
when i was 14 in 8th grade, i brought in cake for my advisory group on my birthday, and when making it i cummed in the batter.
>>691900245
you are so lucky you are not in murrica.
over here that would get you a couple of chuckles on the way to your anus opening ceremony
>>691890537
I give bad advice and also lie online.
>>691899999
Fucking checked
Fucking quints? Amazing Pepe did this
>>691890971
pics
>>691890537
my cars mom tried to friend me in the back of my moms friend
>>691900528
Excellent work, anon! Top fucking kek
>>691890537
I stare at my ass in front of a mirror and masturbate. Works better than porn most of the times.
I've cheated twice on my current gf
>>691897492
You are overpaying for that service my friend
>>691900530
Yup. Everyone did chuckle about it (they chuckled at the law though, and I don't look creepy as fuck so they had no urge to sentence me either).
>>691899999
>>691899999
maybe i should fucking kill myself then
Sucked shota dick when I was 12 and masterbated while doing it. I definitely had an interesting childhood.
You people are so mean hiding behind your computers with mountain dew cans and cheetos surrounding it
When I was 7 I used to imagine this war between microscopic people at recess. I'd use sticks and twigs as "battlecruisers" and imagined the school as a huge superfortress. I named the warring races "whos" and "lice" after Dr Seuss creatures and because our school had a headlice infection.
Fast forward 14 years, I still imagine the story, I go for walks at night sometimes, or listen to music imagining the battles. The characters are the grandchildren of the original main characters, with only one original character left alive. I imagined this on vacations, throughout school, throughout life. The story grew immensely to have multiple layers, and I started writing it. I have 558 pages of 12-point 8.5x11 writing that is heavily fragmented from multiple points in the story's history and does not even cover 5% of the story itself. I will leave it behind when I die if I am lucky.
Pic related is one of the main characters, she's the grand-daughter of the original main cahracters from when I was in elementary school. She's almost like the Kwisatz-Haderach from Dune, with insane coordination and foresight. I could explain more but part of her thing is pulling off insane movie-tier shots in a world that is otherwise fairly realistic. I gave her the in-world equivalent of dual- Tec9s and AWPs because I discovered CS-GO a few months ago and decided why not?
>>691890537
I can't find happiness in daily activities and everything only brings more sadness which I shove behind a facade of apathy.
>>691900277
You're welcome. If you want to keep being calm, don't try to figure out female "logic," and for God's sake, never ask a woman to explain her rationale for anything she does.
>>691898999
>piss in sink
>don't have to touch toilet
>use a little water to rinse the sink
>uses less water than flushing a toilet.
Cleaner for me, and better for the environment. Easier too.
I sucked on my step sisters toes in my sleep
>>691900810
If you don't mind reddit then seriously check out /r/worldbuilding, they will fucking love you there
>>691900997
Clean and green. Me too anon, me too
>>691899999
nearly shat my pants
>>691900810
Keep working on it. It couldn't be any worse than "The Force Awakens."
>>691901204
In that case, i would prescribe one dose of what's called "a life". Please go get one asap.
>>691895210
hot i have a armpit fetish too
>>691897628
That means he was 30 when the cousin was 8. Jesus christ summer.
>>691900077
It's the hunter part of the hunter/gatherer equation. Men feel safe and sane in the company of other men while doing manly things. nowadays that is probably xbox, dafuq do I know. It used to be sports, hunting, fraternities, boy scouts
>>691890537
I'm constantly fantasizing about being raped.
Being pushed against a wall with a hand on my throat, forced to my knees, grabbed by my hair and being facefucked until I choke on his cock. Then being thrown on all fours and fucked hard until he cums in my pussy! Just writing about it makes me wet!
>>691899070
I did, she's all defensive. I guess I'll be single soon. Fuck
i want to kill someone
>>691896352
Fine. I have to paraphrase a bit because it was such a shock that my memory was hazy, if it even made any sense.
>after school, ready for a run with my students
>she was there already, but no one else showed up
>waited 10 minutes for others, asked her how her day was etc
>no one showed, so I told her she could leave if she wanted (i wanted to go for a run on my own anyway lol)
>she asked if i could help her with something instead, said she wanted to try out for the basketball team next year and wanted me to help her do some drills
>the teacher in my gets super excited, leads her to the gym (completely empty, not too many ppl hang around so close to school's end)
>goes to equipment room to get basketballs
>hears equipment room door close behind
>turns around and she hugs me, pressing her body hard against mine
>egads! tries hard to force myself to push her away, but too weak
>still not letting go, she says something along the lines of "i think i'm in love with you, Mr Anon"
>she goes on about how she felt, about all the things we did together that was significant to her but i had no idea was important
>i couldn't hear all of it, was just in complete shock and was frozen
>i remembered her heart beating so fast pressed up to mine, like our heartbeats were having a race, just the two of us
>didn't even remember at what point i was getting a boner. she felt it
>she started rubbing me through my shorts, i told her "don't" or something lame
>she said something about "please, just one time, Mr Anon"
>was in such a daze, not believing what was going on, so i leaned back against the basketball cage
>she pulls down the front of my shorts to see my erection
>i was so nervous, knowing that this is the time to stop all of it, and even getting to this point puts my job in jeopardy, but i couldn't stop it because weakness
>i remember feeling her heavy breathing on the tip of my uncut peen before the wetness of her mouth
>the rest of this got really fuzzy for me...
>>691900997
Fair enough anon
i try to suicide a few times , the first time i was 8 years old
>>691898388
Asshole
>>691898388
Enjoy having no friends soon
>>691890537
I succ
>Student get a low grade for shitty work
>She wants to work something out.
>gtfo, I'm not touching you!
>Fine I'll touch myself
>girl of 15 plays with herself while I watch.
>amazed, scared horney.
>change her grade.
Dont hear anything from it.
Everythingwentbetterthenexpected
I used to do speed in high school. I faked super heavy ADHD and was up to about 20mg a day. I always saved it up for a larger dose and even sold to "friends". Shit was essentially free with parents paying for it, but it's ridiculously expensive when you are really paying for it yourself in the real world.
Be me 18
Watching porn on Dads TV.
I was diamonds watching it. We were drinking. I wasn't drunk but happy.
Buddy asks to suck my dick. I said no fucking way. Porn was hot. He kept asking. Telling me it was okay.
So I let him. It was awesome. Took a couple of minutes to cum. He fucking swallowed it!!!
Didn't talk to him for a week.
He came over to my house to study a week and a half later. Let him suck my dick again.
It's been 10 years. We are both married and our wives don't know that sports night is really him sucking my dick
>>691890537
My brother and I had sex like three times a week when I was 9-11.
>>691901522
Join the armed forces or become a mercenary.
>>691901174
I do post there sometimes. It is one of the few Reddit communities I can stand.
>>691890537
I killed a nigger once in West Oakland in a parking lot at 2am.
I guess they just assumed it was some nigger gang related bullshit cuz I never heard anything about it.
>>691900888
Yeah, I always forget how their fucked jp brain works, and I always need a "why" for things. Thanks man
>>691890537
I got married 100% certain that I would one day leave her. And four years later, I did.
>literally spend every day in my room
>want to get a job every day but have this shit on my head that tells me no one would hire me and end up not looking for fear of embarraseement
>whenever I go out I feel like everyone is looking and judging me
I had a job before, in retail and I clearly remember one time when my boss told me to call someone over the store speakers and I literally froze with the phone in hand and mumbled shit though it.
Am I fucked up?
>>691901904
Don't cut yourself on all those edges
My sister and I got drunk and made out at a bar. I loved it. She's ashamed and doesn't bring it up. I still fap to that night. I wanna do it again and fuck her.
>>691901541
Well horney kids happen
>>691900528
i did this also, expect in cupcake batter and i pissed too
i have an insane crush on an older man i used to talk to about philosophy, literature, and theology
also compulsive delusions that insist i can somehow sway his opinion of me if i do certain rituals
yes i'm the cutter from the other threads
>>691902286
aka - you're a fat cunt and you stalk this girl on social media. You have made up a story to slander her because you've got no chance with her.
Your sister is likely 350lbs, like you.
>>691902495
How old is he and how much older than you is he?
>>691902495
Prove it
>>691902286
She looks kinda strange, like maybe one or two chromosomes short. Maybe that's why she let a creepy pervert like you sleaze on to her.
>>691896012
I volunteer my services
>>691897740
Yes, thank you so much, all of you. I still feel extremely guilty, but I'm hoping to turn this into something positive for her, at least just for this moment.
>>691897937
:( bye /b/, nice knowing you
>>691898468
I should have already been in prison by now like /b/rad. Whatever I have now I'm playing with house money. That was already established before I told /b/ about this.
>>691898590
I don't know what chomo is, and I know nothing about Holly and her shit.
If they do come for me, I'm still debating whether to confess or deny. I'm careful not to take any pics or leave incriminating texts etc.
i've fucked 12 ppl after finding out i have herpes from a hooker in rome.
i didn't tell anyone i fucked.
i'm livin tho and im alive but wishing i was dead
>>691899999
Checkekekekekek
>>691901163
which one would you fuck thread...
>>691896860
for me it's disdain, just this natural feeling of hatred and the knowledge I'm better than them. To be blunt I think it would be more humane if they were aborted real early.
>>691896846
same
>>691894208
You and everyone else pal
The difference is your self awareness
>>691893467
Niggers tongue your anus if you let them
>>691902097
Just anxiety. You will be fine. But you gotta exercise. Get fit, feel better, look better, feel more confident, anxiety diminishes.
I enjoy gardening and tending my roses my wife jokingly says maybe I'd be better with a man instead of her she doesn't know how much those comments hurt and that every time we have sex its always just pure hate fucking
>>691902630
35
there's a 12 year age gap
>>691902654
????
prove what lol, that i have a crush on a man?
>>691901253
It could. But I will keep working on it. I wish to be a second Henry Darger, minus the pedophilia. I have hundreds of shitty drawings to go along with it, just like he did.
>>691900152
At least your very fertile.
>>691901812
buddy, I would have judged you hard before, but I can't anymore. I hope you won't change her grades again though. It's something she should learn.
>>691902312
Well, they're at that age of exploration.
>>691897040
first off, i cut myself on that edge you little retarded fuck, second, when you whine about "guize I'm so darc look" when there are people here who have served in war, and had to do horrid things, kid you don't hold a candle to what's been done, but hey, maybe I'm wrong, what did you do?
>>691894859
As it turns out, thinking that being a /b/tard somehow elevates your "coolness" means that in fact, you are less cool than anyone who KNOWS /b/ is full or freaks.
> ironic that
I have man boobs, do these shits disappear with exercise?
>>691901541
How old is she / what grade?
>>691903410
That's not bad. I was a manager at a dental office in a college town, and I dated a patient who was 18 when I was 30. Is he married?
![1524843_679654992056417_2089460923_n[1].jpg](https://cdn.randomarchive.com/b/image/1467/090/1467090781742.jpg "1524843 679654992056417 2089460923 n[1]")
>>691890537
I got married young because I thought I would be "saving" my wife from her shit redneck family.
Now it's 6 years later and I've fucked her half-cousin, a half-sister my wife just found out her dad made with his other family before abandoning them 2 years ago, and her mom. Pic related is the mom...
Wife has no idea.
>>691899554
try something really cool and theatrical! (I"m assuming you're bullshitting, if not aww come on man no need to off yourself)
>>691890537
and the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic cause the popular people has proof that the ugly people losers has to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause is a little pussy and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way cause try to be better then the popular people but is too ugly to hurt the popular people with looks and cant hurt the attrative loser people and the popular people so thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try too hard and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is smart and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and is a little pussy and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and smell like dog shit like beyonce and try to hurt the popular people the ugly way and is ugly so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers on tv and movies and facebook and school and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers smell like dog shit like beyonce and is ugly and pathatic and is still going to cock block the popular people and attrative loser people in the future
so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like shit like beyonce and is ugly and is a little pussy and try to hurt the popular people and attrative loser people the ugly way and is desperate and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and is smart and is selfish and smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly and try to be better then the popular people and everybody and thats why the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers is pathatic and ugly n plus smell like shit like beyonce so fuck the ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers or future ugly people losers like the ugly guys losers that smell like dog poop like beyonce and is ugly that is on tv or at school or on facebook or in movies
and the ugly people losers outnumber the popular people
I am a mid-50s executive in a conservative profession, suit and tie kind of job, yet I am addicted to /b/ (that part is obvious but not the secret) and (my actual secret), still slurp the milk out of my cereal bowl every morning like when I was 5.
>>691903893
Nice. You were the redneck drama she needed. Good job.
I've met Christ.
>>691900317
The fuck
I'm secretly the supreme Atlantean deity Thoth.
>>691904131
Cool. I've met Jesús. Good guy. Hard worker.
>>691903993
okay but have you ever considered these?
I have fucked my two stepsisters. They don't know of each other (that I have fucked them). At the same time, I have a beautiful girlfriend 6 years ago.
This is my first time writing this down, this is my biggest secret of all time.
>>691900212
That's what I've been trying to do. Trying.
>>691900453
Maybe one day.
>>691903846
9th grade.
