Go on
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Go on
>>690562726
i once ate a whole pizza in one sitting
>>690562919
/thread
When I was 15 I masturbated 24 times in a 24 hour period to win a competition.
I can masturbate without any physical stimulus
I've divided by zero
>>690562726
I'm MooT.
>>690562726
op is a fag
My first lay was a pornstar-quality prostitute and cost $1000 for 2 hours.
I've only ever cheated in a webbrowser game to win a GOTY of a real game that is worth around ~60 bucks
i once fingered a girl in a sousaphone case in highschool
I'm Bill Murray.
I'm getting a blowjob right now.
Every girl I've ever played the guitar for (except family of course) fucked me the very same day.
At least 10 in college so far, many others from high school.
Best skill choice I've ever made.
I´m not a virgin
I once had sex with a Korean newly Wed on a flight between Seoul and Sydney, without speaking one word to her before, during or after. I didn't even know her name. And her new husband was sitting next to her, asleep.
I worship the sun.
>>690563026
You think you did but you actually didn't.
>>690563206
Timestamp pic faggot.
I met a girl on /b/ in 09 when they still had contact threads on here for aim,3 years later when she was 18 I flew to cali and fucked her in her room while her parents slept lol
>>690562726
Adolf Hitler wanted international war criminal (death penalty) is currently living in Queensland Australia & using australian military intelligence grade weaponry of elecetromagnetics to harrass me daily for 3 years straight now (been stalking me for a decade before that, im his biological son) through criminal assault; violence.
the old cracker has psychosis, schizophrenia, egocentrism, dyslexia, neurosis, permanently disabled. senicide
>>690563348
we are anonymous
we are virgins
Every night i regret all the decisions i made that brought me where i am today
i lost my virginity to my father.
>>690562987
and did you win?
>>690563340
Im learning guitar
>got a blowjob from 2 sisters
>one was 14 and the other was my age, 17
Almost told the older sis when i was on a good one, shouldve done it
>>690562726
Before I post ultra nationalist and white wing posts on /pol/ I usually fap to gay furry porn
>>690563206
i believe u old fart
I've never drunk chocolate milk in my entire life and I have no desire to do so.
>>690563340
Nigguh. This is the main reason Ive been thinking about picking up the guitar lately. I played it for 5 years and forgot everything, should probably start relearning.
I raped my sister in law when she was blacked out drunk
>>690563450
The most romantic thing ive ever heard
>>690563340
>call prostitute
>hey baby lemme play u stairway 2 heaven b4 we get to the main attraction
>>690563542
U give us true neo-nazis a bad name.
>>690563537
how far along are you?
>i can help you cut the learning curve.
>>690562726
Had a 3some and didn't even cum
>>690563533
I did.
>>690563573
Totally normal outside of the US.
>>690563625
Stairway to Heaven won't get you far but learn to play like this and women melt like butter. No joke.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r9ghRna95I
>>690563677
Nowhere really, im really bad
>>690563518
Tell us about it
I'm moot.
I have half a million dollars and im unhappy
>>690563197
Kek
>>690563479
at a rate of 500-1000 times EVERY SINGLE DAY NOT ONE BEAT MISSED IRRELEVENT OF ACTIVITY FOR THREE YEARS STRAIGHT THE GUYS INSANE
i dont talk to it i dont communicate with it i dont work with nor against it yet it persists and remains, mentally carstrated
>>690563755
not a lot to tell. molested since 9. had sex when i was 14. i've made threads before and posted pics. he's dead now, so i dont mind talking about it.
>>690562919
you cant sit once
>>690563609
Yeah it was I loved her to hell and back can't believe this shithole got me laid
>>690563953
Did you kill him with your anus ?
>>690563733
>some faggy whitebread shit
nah m8
latin is the way to keep them coming back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr12M8Ua_iA
>t. full time jazz guitarist
I met Stevie Ray Vaughan about 6 months before he died
>>690563789
>excess money
>unhappy
>"ridiculous"
nothing new
>>690563976
Lucky fucker
>>690563789
Can I have a few hundred bucks so I can get an apartment?
>>690564014
is this the part where im asked to post pictures of my breasts? (again.)
>>690562726
I suck at life.
>>690563479
>>690563950
stfu and take your thorazine
I once fucked a mango. It was meh.
>>690564100
Shit I assumed you were a dude.
But ok. Send us pics of the breasts that were so irresistible to her father.
Maybe you're my ex
>>690563953
I dont know the story, so tell it again for those like me, guy or girl?
I suffer from crippling depression and lonliness
>>690564061
Pic related
>>690562726
Ive 2 scars on my loins and one scar on my balls.
>>690564069
boring
>>690563102
Probably true.
>>690563789
You obviously need to unload some of that to a poorfag, gives you an altruistic sense of self-worth. FI7139390054369483
>>690562987
low... i did that for no reason, at same age... just because i was horny... thanks premature erection
>>690563340
Let me guess, the only song you know is "Wonderwall" ? I did the same thing
>>690563677
Seriously any help would be brilliant
>>690563413
Sol invictus
>>690564100
>I like this attention I'm getting
>I'll mention I'm a girl so that I get more of it
I make $900 a week not working a legitimate job
I ate a thurmanator in eight minutes.
Pic related,
Also subbed chips for bacon cheddar fries
>>690563413
>I worship the sun
MAH. NIGGA. Thought I was the only one.
I walked 16 miles in 'round 100 degree weather to Lil Caesars to get some pizza.
>>690564255
Well give me kike 100000 so I can say fuck life and travel everywhere
>>690564216
Aweee bastard, shes gorgeous anon, and i assume seeing as how you mer her on /b/ shes great
>>690562919
Hey, Americunt, they said ridiculous claims.
>>690562726
I'm probably the most famous person on this entire website.
I masturbate so much that my penis is now deformed and I'm balding at 24 from excess testosterone.
>>690564365
Tits or gtfo
>>690564295
Nah that's the thing, if you play that soft bitch shit they know you're a dime a dozen.
If you can truly shred they will fuck you just for being articulate and great with your hands.
>>690564365
>inb4 (((she))) posts only clevage with timestamp or stock image tits w/o timestamp
I once fucked 3 girls at once, my ex insisting on us bringing girls to our bed on a regular basis, this resutling in me having had a ton of threesomes and the one foursome. Which is awesome.
Yes this is true.
>>690564426
She was rad but also fucked up as hell (go figures) we broke up after she went full blown heroin junkie I still randomly get texts from her though
>>690564485
Help me bro
>>690563789
As someone who works in an industry that serves wealthy populations, I can vouch for this guy. Fully 80% of rich people are MISERABLE AS SHIT. (The other 20% seem perfectly well-adjusted.)
>>690564485
>any half decent guitarist
>unironically using the term "shred"
gtfo poser
>>690564460
I'm a dog
>>690564571
Oh shit, sorry to hear that /b/ro, hope things work out for you pal
>>690562726
I have never orgasmed during sex (I'm a man) And I've had over 60 partners
>>690564464
pics of deformed penis
>>690564682
Stick a vibrator in your ass, youll cum buckets
I'm a state, and nation champion fighter. Styles are taekwondo and BJJ. I'm ranked nationally and if you Google my name you'll only see fighting shit.
No, I'm not in the UFC. Yes, I've made money from it.
>>690564377
>I tried committing suicide with a burger.
>tfw Americunt.
>>690564748
stfu and go to bed, Michael
Im hekd a hostage please help im at 2828,$-$+$888 strertt help please
>>690564748
thats me in your pick
not an illusion or photoshop, i am 216 years old, a wizard, and have only held a grills hand once
>>690564377
First of all, checked.
Second, OMFG I WANT THAT BURGER!!
Third, tell me where to go to get that burger
and last, 8 minutes? NO WAY, Anon! :O
>>690564657
Thank you anon,I asked her to marry me that was the last real time we spoke in person haha being an adult is SO fun
>>690563957
fuck you
>>690564192
if my mother wasnt home he'd have me do things for him and eventually we had sex. it got normal at some point and it didnt bother me. which means i guess you can get used to anything.
>>690564517
Why did she insist upon it?
>>690564581
>Step 1: Don't play soft bitch shit
>Step 2: Don't learn guitar with the sole motivation of attracting women or you'll never actually be good enough to attract them.
>Step 3: Love the instrument, love what you do, and women will love you for it. They admire a passionate, talented individual and they will crave your attention.
>Step 4: profit???
Get to enjoy enough pussy to where you don't have to focus on chasing it and you can spend even more time getting better at things you like.
>>690564738
Nope
>>690564877
Fuck you, you're the one that wants his mom to die tonight.
>>690563479
Why are u on /b/
>>690564145
one day ull be murdered DCLXVI
>>690564617
Mad basic beginner bitch detected.
Try learning something besides a G chord or a 1 string riff before you try to call someone out faggot.
you're a dead bloodline from this moment forward no exceptions
>>690564873
I hope she comes to her senses anon, best of luck, shes gorgeours, or was at least
>>690563518
Are you the 30 something year old one who lost it to her dad in Mexico at 14?
My older sister gave me a blowjob when i was 15
>>690562726
I once mutually sucked my brother's dick
>>690564845
Ate you the guy from the buttplug thread earlier?
>>690564944
Checked, nice.
She was very sexually active, a bi-sexual, and at that point in our relationship we had pretty much exhausted all other sexual fetishes and dreams, so that was a way to keep going at a satisfying pace.
>>69056507 im gonna sound pussy for this but I dont care if she comes back to me I just hope she gets better
>>690565109
yeah thats me. hi.
>>690564596
I am a Palm Beach multi-millionaire and I'm good; sorry about those other folks.
What's up with that anyway?
>>690565003
I don't want my mum to die tonight
It's just that picture has now become the new cancer of /b/
>>690565205
did you enjoy it?
>>690564950
I'ma get me some pussy... I mean... learn the guitar
>>690565240
Please change my life by blessing me with monies
I don't know my IQ; any test I've taken didn't go high enough.
>>690565205
Hello. I remember your thread. It was hot stuff. How's everything going?
>>690564950
Im really beginning to love it, im not playing too long and im playing on a shitty 30 quod pre owned classical, but i love sitting there with the radio on in the background fingerpicking and playing around with styles and techniques in various songs, one day i just said 'fuck it im buying a guitar', that was about a month ago, im still very shit but having a lot of fun learning
i just beat dark soul 2 and i liked it.
>>690564950
>no actual advice
heres some actual helpful info from someone who legitimately plays
1. start on nylon string to build finger strength and improve reach
2. go from root chords to bar chords as fast as you can, hardest step for noobies
3. learn 6th string root+3 note cluster chords after, then 5th root, then learn extensions to use on top of those
4. learn how to play the same song in different positions on the neck
5. this will eventually lead to being able to do bass under melody+chords
6. ????
7. profit, monetary or vaginal
If you really want to get laid play sax instead. They pull in tail at twice the rate as any other ive played with
also
>capos are for pussies who can't into theory, never use them
>alternate tuning are rarely worth the effort other than open D
>>690565333
/b/ is just a giant tumor now anyway.
>>690565240
Well, the area I live in is very "old money." My current theory is that people who START their lives rich never develop any perspective whatsoever. It seems to totally kill their happiness. It's a bummer.
>>690565393
life is good / same. just wasting time here before my day starts. i dont know who you are but i hope you're doing good too. ;)
>>690562726
I can calculate the square root of any integer, to an accuracy of two decimal places, in my head.
>>690565543
I'd rape you and make you call me daddy
>>690565342
when i got older i did. but not in the beginning. in the beginning i'd just do it cause i was asked to.
>>690565142
No, but I know these bullshit stories, and the person (Michael) telling them needs to go to bed. Better yet, kill himself (or yourself, if you're the samefag).
>>690562726
When I was 7 I wanted to have eyes like Spiderman so I stretched chewed up bubble gum over them.
Adding insult to injury I didn't know to to get it off so i trimmed my eye lashes and eyebrows.
Basically I looked like i just had chemo.
I used to have hope for myself
>>690562726
i retired at the tender age of 42 and i'm worth over 1 milllion bucks and my wife supports me and she makes 120 grand a year and i get anything i want. guns, guitars, sex, you name it, i get it. my fucking life is sweet, i wake up at noon, spend the day drinking vodka in the hot tub and party all night until time to sleep and then do it again. don't know why i'm even telling you this, but it is 100% true. live the dream, it is possible.
>>690565490
Thanks man ill screencap this and refer to it later, i fucking hate bar chords kek
>>690565490
Other guitar fag, I played the sax too lol.
Tenor gets those bitches.
>>690564905
>Elisabeth fritzl confirmed
>>690565490
Guitarist with 10+ years exp here. EVERYONE should start on an acoustic. Bar chords will depends on what you play. LEARN MUSIC THEORY. or AT LEAST notice patterns in music that you enjoy. capos are indeed for pussies. a half hour a day and you'll be strumming in no time.
>>690562726
I made 100 grands last year and nobody knows. Not even my parents who I live with. I've been saving money since I was 7 and have been investing in commodities and derivatives since the age of 14.
>>690565543
Yeah everything ok over here too. Just saying hello though and thanks. I think I masturbate for like an hour to your story. Thanks for sharing. I also have shit to do, so... see you around.
>>690565156
Was she well-adjusted?
>I was in the core of Anonymous (not the gay arse forums), but left around 6 months ago
>I've done over 3 years of jail time
>Used to be a millionaire
>IQ of 156
>>690565048
whats the best way to go from Dm9 to a G13 without using bar chords?
>>690562726
I can touch my penis to my elbow
>>690562726
Within the next 3 years I will be one of the top 10% of earners.
>>690565610
My dream, goddamn I'm fucked up especially because I'd want to be romantically into me ontop of that and form some secret relationship with me
I can blow my self
Trapped under a bouncy castle, almost suffocated, about 7
Jumped off a pier and almost drowned, dad saved me. Don't remember how old but younger than 7
Ran into a wall my dad was halfway through making, causing it to collapse on me and fracturing four bones. 11
School science class, given free reign to do project. Make and bring napalm bomb into school. Never got to set it off though.
Lost my virginity bareback to an older slut and got an std
Got my then-gf pregnant but she had an abortion because she'd started taking crack, 16. Took it myself 17-19
Matured around 20, not so much dumb shit since then.
I used to suck on my moms boobs for fun, this continued until I was 8 years old.
>>690562987
I called that a usual summer Thursday when I was 15. Not joking.
>>690565593
ah, ok?
>>690565866
ok then. have a good day. see ya. :)
>>690565576
autism
>>690565837
THIS
There was an entire year of my life when I only did anal sex. As a straight man that's uncommon.
>>690565876
I can too. Nothing too special. Or so I hope
>>690565873
any souvenirs?
>>690565837
Thanks man
>>690562726
I used to pee in a bathroom sink. The toilet was right there but sink was more comfy. My gf catch me doing it and flipped. Until one the we needed to go on the same time and she told me to just use the sink. We peed together, she on the toilet and me in the sink. I don't do it anymore cause after moving the sink is not comfy anymore.
>>690565801
haha. no. it wasnt messed up like that. it was very normal. hard to explain.
>>690565992
thanks bruh.
My wife and I regularly pick up cute chubby chicks for threesomes. Sometimes, if the woman is interested, my wife's girlfriend joins in.
Recently my gf has started expressing interest in joining in as well.
Wife is a sub/Dom switch, as is her gf, my gf is a sub/slave. Sometimes the chubsters are lifestyle and we have a grand ole time with the whips and chains :)
>>690565998
I can also touch my penis to your elbow.
>>690562726
I sucked my own penis a couple times (only the tip).
I tried my own sperm.
I had a made out with my cousin.(8.5/10)
>>690565490
>Here's some shit anybody could Google in 20 seconds.
Ftfy
Your can tell you're the kind of guitarist that sucks his own dick much more than any women would.
Just because youre an elitist fag doesn't mean there aren't others who "legitimately play" dumbass.
>>690566036
>The toilet was right there but sink was more comfy.
I know this feel
>>690565997
Mfw that was my alternative to condoms in high school.
>>690566092
Both at the same time???
>>690565490
>>capos are for pussies who can't into theory, never use them
except maybe some want to change keys while maintaining the tone of an open string...
>>690566014
A gaping asshole
>>690565997
>nothin but buttseck for a year
>"straight"
>not bi
I don't believe you.
>>690565837
>Bar chords will depends on what you play
if you can't do bar chords you aren't a guitarist at all
You need that index finger strength to start doing 4 note chords, which everyone from bossafags to fingerpickers will need
and yeah, can't even understand how to do extensions and shit without decent understanding of theory
more important for internal chord movement doh, especially when you're doing suspensions and diminished 4 parts
>>690566166
Checked.
Didn't cum in my own mouth if that's what you're asking.
im a 26 year old virgin
>>690566214
Maybe he was getting pegged all the time, who knows.
>>690566081
you aren't the gril that ran around nekkid and your rottweiller humped you maybe?
I'm a girl on the internet.
>>690566216
I'd advise using your pinky finger as much possible rather than focusing on bar chords.
>>690566254
Welcome to the club bro
>>690566239
I was thinking more like made out with cousin while holding your own hot selfsuck load in your mouth... which is my new fetish
>>690563340
Bullshit. Everyone knows that DRUMMERS get all the chicks.
>>690566036
i peed in your sink too
im not a virgin
>>690563626
>true neo-nazis
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>690566236
Don't be weird about it
>>690562726
I am your king.
>>690566336
Me too, so what
>>690563953
How does something like that even start? I'm seriously curious.
Greentext?
I have not had sex in 2 years, after my only ex cheated on me after a month into the relationship. She did it for 2 months then fucked off with him. Now she has a kid with the guy she cheated on me with, who is a drop kick with no job.
For reference, I'm now 19, she is 18. The guy is 25. Kid should be 6 months now
>>690566424
I skeed in your pink too
>>690565934
You were one really special kid, weren't you?
>>690566409
I can bring the guitar to the chicks, you have to bring the chicks to whatever grimy location your kit is set up at.
Nothing like making a chick comfortable in her own space and then fucking her brains out all over her room.
>>690566216
i hang my pinky finger out so far you don't even
so there
>>690566181
>capo fag detected
its a crutch. Anything you could play with a capo can be redone on a different part of the neck without one in the key you want
unless you're playing faggy john butler shit
>like the stuff in the video you posted
in which case kys just for having pleb taste or at least stop listening to kaki king and watching august rush on blue ray
>>690565490
I wouldnt agree with all of your steps...
1. start on any guitar you wanna play and also the strings doesnt really matter (maybe nylon are more comforable at the beginning but if you wanna play E... )
2. every time before you play do some finger warm up (like this http://www.guitarplayer.com/lessons/1014/warm-up-time-11-exercises-that-will-help-you-play-even-better/53942) of course you can do everything you can imagine instead) try variation of up and down picking (if you dont play with plectrum skip this oc)
3. like >>690565490
4. learn an easy song you like (like Highway to Hell , Wonderwall ...) try to play it in different ways (how "hard" you play and so on)
5. learn about musik (that you are able to understand why something sounds good and something dont. Learn how patterns work...)
When you feel ready: play alot with other guys or with backing tracks also you can try to sing along it will help you to get a feeling whats right and whats wrong.
Its just my advice. Sure I ain't be the best guitar player or even would call myself good, but maybe becouse of that I know what worked for me.
Im still learning and its a lot of fun.
>>690566530
Molest the kid and you'll feel better
>>690566609
Just choke the shit out of it, that's why they call it a neck
>>690566388
Checked again good sir.
Kek, sadly that didn't happen. I did however make out with my ex when I left a load in her mouth.
>>690562919
So you had the average American meal.
>>690566583
please kill yourself, Michael
>>690563307
Yeah from your dog maybe
I visited Bob Barker in the hospital
>>690566609
>not doing roots with your thumb so you can stretch dat pinky fo days
i am disappointing
my one professor was about to break my hand over that shit though, its nasty for your wrist
>>690563340
m8 I'm a muso chick and guitarists are the most boring losers I swear to god
If you want chicks learn something weird like banjo or tenor sax or fucking cello.
>>690566689
Not nearly as hot... and not because of the cousin thing... something hot about shooting into your own mouth, then tongue feeding it to a grill
>>690563393
Story
>>690562726
Im a photographer who has fucked Miley among other celebs
>>690566014
Yeah, several
>>690566632
>Missing a post link.
>Lashing out at everyone for not playing exactly how you say they should.
>Being such a mad elitist faggot.
This everyone, is a prime example of the kind of shitty guitarist you never want to be.
Tldr, "stop liking what I don't like!"
>>690566655
no thats all sound advice
I got through alot of the warmup/fingerstrength shit way back, so i go a little more academic
I stopped enjoying playing a long time ago, forget thats the most important thing to want to learn
>>690566814
Violin?
>>690565910
You can't say that with 100% certainty you dumb jew
>>690563206
If you're actually Bill Murray, who organizes the cape cod golf tournament I see you at every year
>hint, her initials are ESK
>>690564034
I believe this with all my heart.
>>690566632
>Implying Latin guitarists don't use capos
>Implying girls will give a fuck whether you use a capo or not
>Implying any regular person wouldn't be impressed with just slightly skillful regular-ass western fingerstyle
Capo is a tool, not a crutch. It serves a purpose completely separate from the concept of playing skill. Maybe you should learn your instrument better instead of being a poser faggot.
>>690566921
What are they anon?
>>690566814
I play the contrabassoon
>>690563479
Literally everything you said is false.
>kill yourself
>pic related
>>690566519
>me
>1990s
>9.
>watching cartoons with father on couch.
>its cold.
>have blanket on top.
>he used to rub my stomach.
>we're watching tv.
>moves his hand up and starts rubbing my chest.
>don't think much of it cause its father.
>mentions im getting boobs.
>makes me kind of embarrassed.
>tells me they gonna keep growing.
>weird that made it feel better.
>he kept doing it.
>brother walks into house and he lowers his hand.
>cant remember what they talked about but i remember his hand moving.
>this happened again another time.
>except mother walked in and he moved his hand again.
>knew not to tell because of the hand moving.
>among other things.
>>690563340
I learned flamenco guitar in a semi formal environment, and holy shit do girls swoon at that sweet and spicy Spanish hotness.
>>690566814
I know tenor too, also I don't give a fuck if you're a muso chick.
You're the kind of dumb bitch that calls someone boring before hearing a single note being played.
>>690563953
I remember you from years ago posting on here!
I pretend to be a feminist so that I can fuck feminazis...trust me, they are absolutely crazy in bed...all you need to do is make them believe they are making you cum on their face, like it is THEIR wish
>>690567116
Oh my oh my
>>690565514
You may be right; I've seen a lot of the OM types flame out or fuck up for lack of any sense of confidence. OTOH I've seen some noobs who got their heads totally twisted by hitting it.
I once read that money doesn't change you. Money changes how people treat you; that changes you.
>>690567062
Trick question, Jim and Joe organize it.
>>690567076
This guy gets it.
>>690564460
What's up, Em? Or would you prefer ''Marshal''?
>>690567116
That's fucking sad.
>and hot.
I have the only key in the world to the late great Prince vault which contains a lot of unheard music projects
My skype girlfriend used to fuck her dog on cam for me
>why did I ever let that end
>>690566814
thats what i was saying
tenor saxophonists sling tang like nobodies buisness, ive been seeing that shit for years
also tits or gtfo obviously
>>690567033
don't try it anakin
even the chinks need to start on that shit when they are 9 to get their intonation and technique right, its a very very difficult instrument
violas a little easier, but if you want to do string cello all the way
>had to learn cello for instrument education classes
>could already play at middle school level in a week
>tryed to learn violin
>sounded like Jack Benny the entire month
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yJceHG-Qco
I can clutchless shift a RoadRanger
>>690563023
But... manstrubating IS physical stimulus...
>>690567021
sure! I didnt mean that you should stop playing!
I only exercise techniques for around about 10-15 min a day (I know its a little bit short but Im thinking that playing is more fun, too)
>>690567247
Fuckin A
>>690567101
I play the octobass flute
>>690567357
Me too
>>690566814
Hipster bitch detected
You are by far the most boring loser in whatever room you happen to inhabit at the time.
>>690566814
I wouldn't see myself as a boring loser, I just always like guitars and thought 'why don't I learn to play one' to say everyone who's ever played a guitar is a lower Is a bit shitty, I'm only starting out though
I was a roadie for Stryper
>>690567076
I totally agree wit this.
>>690566632
I thought you might be a bit elitist, but in reality you're a raging faggot.
You're assuming everyone who's calling you out on your misplaced confidence in yourself is wrong or samefagging. I didn't post a video, I posted a legitimate use for a capo that you apparently don't understand. Like others have now pointed out, it's a tool. It's a means to an end. And sometimes, that end cannot be achieved without one, at least not if you have a decent ear for music.
TL:DR; Get over yourself, people will like things you don't like.
>>690567116
Continue.
My mother has a drinking problem and was never around when I was growing up. I have trust issues and love issues. I'm a fucked up man (really a little boy inside) The only girl I truly loved cut my heart and she lived 5000kms away. Great cyber sex, though.
>>690567306
Wrong. If you were Bill freakin Murray you'd know who ESK is.
>>690566713
Blowjob was over 30 minutes ago, fag.
>>690567406
They are talking about orgasms... I had them when I was like 10-12 it had to do with where in my menstrual cycle I was though
>>690567581
Massive emo cuck alert
>>690565514
I did not intend to write confidence; I intended to write reality; many had too much confidence for their abilities in reality.
>>690567247
i did this once and regretted it because she was obnoxious. it was like fucking a tumblr account
>>690567402
I can clutchless start and shift a manual range rover
>>690567381
I'm already playing it.
>not asian
I'm asking if anybody gives a shit about it.
>>690562726
my iq is way above 150 and i study industrial engineering and electrical engineering at the same time, because otherwise i am bored also: german
>>690565869
She was very much a psycho bitch.
That is why she is my ex.. I left her.
>>690567076
>latin guitarists don't use capos
uhh no, they usually don't
because they generally use 4 note moveable chords which they work the melody into
look at bonfa or jobim, or the guitarist who played with piazolla
>hurr i can still get laid with muh capo
you are the definition of a poser m8
go run back to guitar center to find the gear that will give you "that sound your looking for"
>>690567286
That could easily be the answer.
My town (Naples, FL) treats the rich like superstars (because the industry depends on them), which is why most of them probably feel so entitled (but unfulfilled).
None of it really bothers me - I've internalized the "lesson" that money won't make me happy, and am all the better for it.
>>690564020
I'd say learning some Django Reinhardt and some flamenco are the best to learn, as you learn a lot of essential technique and get to sound mysterious and exotic while you do it.
>>690567247
Story anon?
>>690567616
Touchless orgasms
>>690567527
Son, I am proud.
Glad I'm not the only one to pick up on his rampant faggotry.
Some people think they can throw around a few bits of semi-technical information and they are suddenly God's greatest gift.
>>690567306
>Trick question, Jim and Joe organize it
>spaghetti everywhere
>>690566091
>>690566683
Nah, she ain't in my life anymore
>>690564460
who are you?
>>690567730
>iq is way above 150
>engineering
psh
>>690567702
I can reverse a triple RoadTrain
I've never gotten dubs.
>>690567420
ah thats not what i meant
i gig all the time, thats how my rent gets paid since i got fired
I just don't enjoy it bc im either stuck playing jazz standards or soul and its a commitment which is shit right their
>>690565849
Commodities and derivatives, eh?
You are either extremely smart and very lucky or you in for a big, nasty surprise very soon.
>>690567116
>among other things
What are these other things you speak of?
>>690567581
>Great cyber sex
>cyber
>sex
pick one
KFC's bigger was too big for me.
>>690566583
>>690567815
Well so much for sleeping guess I'm stuck on a train to bonerville
>>690562726
So, in my country (~8M inhabitants):
>One of my cousins is a famous singer
>One of my cousins was a famous soccer player (played in the World Cup and shit)
>One of my aunts is a famous singer
>One of my aunts is is a famous minister (she's made polygamy legal) and probably a millionaire.
>Uncle is a very famous colonel and doctor
>Siblings went to some of the most prestigious French Engineering schools
>They're friends with several children of billionaires
>With many children of millionaires
>They know the President and have his number in their contact list
>Could go on for ages
Meanwhile I'm a terrible math major in a terrible University.
I have a decent level in about 10 languages though, which most people have a hard time believing.
>>690567850
>>690567922
Bro
>>690567922
You have now.
C C CHECKED
>>690567922
Oh shit.
>>690562726
I'm a pro wrestler trained by a guy the trained a former WWE world champion
I'm a pathological liar for past 10 years at least. Thanks to that I got laid several times, got invited to all sort of parties or formal meetings and few job offers. 4 years ago I fucked unnamed local bank vice-president's daughter and after couple meetings he offered me to work for him because he "saw a light of future" shinning from me. I'm still working in the bank even though he retired, making ridiculous ammount of money for knowing just half of what I should know about my job. And I'm living with his daughter for past 3 years and now everyone from my and her family is pressuring me to engage her. I had depressions about this for past year and almost lost it and told everyone the truth at least twice but I feel I'm starting to deal with it more and more each day so I will probably put the fucking ring on her hand in July.
>>690566798
Sorry hendrix. >>690566798
K Hendrix
>>690567922
Fucking lying nigger
>>690565240
Need a wife?
>>690568001
Honduras?
>>690567968
kissing or biting the lips like a game. i did it to him in front of my mother once and she got really mad. so i knew not to do anything in front of her.
>>690567917
Pups, 40s or 53s because I can back trip pups(not terribly far) and double 53s(quite a ways)
I am a nigger who posts white supremacist stuff just to see what racial power and superiority feels like
>>690562726
Unlike most fags here, I have actually been laid.
>>690567917
i can tullytoggle the gizmo on a renaissance flying machine
>>690567759
Flamenco guitarists use capos and half-capos more often than not. What you're talking about is probably some latin-influenced jazz or other hipstery shit that completely misses the point of the "chicks dig guitars" discussion that you burst into spouting your garbage.
>you are the definition of a poser m8
Yeah, because I use the tools available to me to make my music sound good instead of insisting on making it more complicated and shittier sounding just because "capos r 4 fags lol"
>>690567922
liar
>>690568173
Thats so naughty /cute
i can suck my own dick
>>690567033
Yeah violin works. Other boys will call you pussy because it's a 'girl instrument' but it means you'll literally be surrounded by girls all the time.
Same goes for flute etc
>>690563023
Hello there stephen hawking
>>690568168
Nah, poligamy's legal in Honduras? That's in Western Africa
>>690566594
OK- I will concede this point to you. Because, sadly, it IS valid. But, if a drummer is skilled enough, he can play along (on his practice pad) with any song that happens to be on the radio/stereo and have an effect that is definitely comparable to you with your impromptu acoustic guitar.
>>690563540
>the other was my age, 17
45 is not equal to 17, anon
>>690566814
I play the cock
>>690567101
Nice. Contra is gr8.
My brother played bassoon. Awesome instrument.
I started the shoe on head thing right here on /b/ a long time ago.
>>690568254
Sleep tight nigger
>>690567527
maybe don't jump into a conversation if you don't want to get mistaken as the original poster?
And you brought up open string tones, which is what his video was all about.
Capos are a crutch in most types of music, but if you want to do the john butler slap shit obviously you need open strings.
I just think that music is faggy like i said
cry more faggot
>>690567521
>>690567076
>>690567313
smells like shameless samefagging
>>690567988
Next stop jizztown
>>690567759
>All capo users are posers
>All elitists are shit spewing faggots
What a helpful lesson from a "legitimate player"
>>690567769
tfw one of my exes is a nouveau riche Naples resident in a grotty McMansion; writes all the time about her 'lifestyle'!
>>690567911
my field of specialisation is industrial use of plasma as a means to power generation so..
psh urself
5/7 i responded
>>690566530
She sounds like trash, a bullet well dodged it seems
>>690563413
Holy fuck me too
>>690562726
Same day i met this site I found out that I had lung cancer
>>690568173
Continue.
Describe the first time you fucked (or sucked) him.
>>690568254
Check your privilege nigger
>>690568419
Hahaha anon do you have kik? Inb4 I get hate for this idgaffff
>>690568277
>flamenco
nigger i never once said flamenco
I said latin, and posted latin jazz
how fucking clueless are you
>latin jazz is hipster
are we in some kind of parallel universe? or have you just never been outside
>>690567935
ah now I get it
Im just playing for fun so no pressure at all
Can you live from playing gigs or ?
>>690567203
Nah. I just went to music school where guitarists are a dime a dozen, but the weird instrument boys were mysterious and intriguing.
>>690565731
How did you become a millionaire?
>>690568350
You can suck my dick too
>>690568363
You beating on a piece of rubber like a common tribal nigger is "comparable" to the sweet melodies a six string can produce.
Wow you are one deluded faggot.
>>690568352
you can also play some sick ass dave mathews band licks on that shit
>>690568399
It's hella good for scholarships
>>690568432
>this coming from the guy whos first bit of advice was
>>690564950
o i am laffin
ive met 100 players like you, same attitude, never got anywhere
>>690568408
>Capos are a crutch in most types of music
But not all. Which was my point. Which means there are "legitimate" uses that can't be duplicated otherwise (and not just "john butler slap shit"), and you are wrong.
You can go back to sucking your own dick now, like this guy >>690568350
>>690568452
>5/7
Bait perfection.
>>690568408
>Only bitch crying in the thread
Cry more faggot, topkek
>>690568665
where u at
>>690568359
I don't know then. There is no country with 8M people and legal polygamy. Maybe he meant Togo. 7M people + legal.
>>690568565
I eschew social media, so no
>>690568439
See, that's the only thing that actually grinds my gears about Naples. It's all classless, pre-fab "rich." Bunch of pseudo-intellectuals who have bought what Naples sold them as the "rich person experience," but in reality Naples is just sort of the tasteless, old-money "idea" of what being rich looks like.
Gaudy, discount McMansions and property management companies doing your landscaping for you in your shitty, middle-class-but-with-an-upper-class-price-tag "gated community." Grow a fucking imagination, guys.
>>690568589
yeah, but only bc my rents only like 1200 a month and i make the sax player drive me to far away gigs and smoke me up constantly
>>690568393
Me too!
>>690568808
Meh, they're not wrong. If it's not recorded in a studio it's not worth listening too.
I've infiltrated multiple university servers and close to a hundred private computers and used them to bring down ultra-leftist news websites.
I held a world record for two years.
I got payed for sex twice.
>>690568164
Got one, thanks.
>>690568895
Well fuck lol worth a shot to try though
>>690568835
In my bathroom, polishing my turdcutter>>690568808
Found out the one if the left went down on the one on the right and that the dirtiest thing she's done with guys is suck dick. She's been fucked so maybe she's blown multiple guys at the same time or multiple guys in a night not sure
>>690562726
I got caught by a female sports teacher at school having sex me & the girl were both 13.I had an 8inch erect penis when I was 13 the teacher looked so shocked when I was stood there with my cock diamonds in front of her.For the rest of my years at school I used to catch female teachers staring at my dick when I was swimming or doing sports in a pair of shorts.
>>690567519
KEK!
This MUST BE true. Because NO ONE would intentionally fabricate THAT story!
>>690568766
Damn straight it is. You want a job as a musician in this day and age, you stick to double reeds. Good luck in the future anon! I hope you have a successful career
>>690568808
im not the ones who got bent out of shape about "muh capo"
just said it was a crutch while learning guitar and everybody flipped out like i insulted their mother
>>690568168
Houndoom?
>>690568588
Put yourself in the shoes of a regular person who maybe listens to dadrock and radio pop. Then listen to the trash you linked.
>What is this nigger doing? Why is he blocking the strings while plucking them? That sounds like shit
>Man this is kinda boring and repetitive
>I wish I was listening to Bon Jovi instead
Yeah, it's hipstery shit.
>>690569055
GTFO Tyrone
>>690568590
Ahem, "some" guitarists are a dime a dozen.
>>690568408
Like this faggot
Ignorant bitches with fruitless opinions are a penny a dozen, get in line.
You're sound like almost as much of an elitist as that ignorant cunt. Maybe you two should get together, fuck, smell your own farts, and talk about how mysterious and intriguing you are.
>>690569121
>if you listen to anything other than dad rock you're a hipster
uh...
>>690568908
I remember Naples in the 50s and 60s when there was a town downtown and Tin City was funky, smelly fishing docks and the height of taste were those Bermuda-style homes being built out Crayton.
>>690568979
It's actually not that uncommon a thing, only one of the girl friends I've had wouldn't cop to having had one before, but I'm pretty sure she had
>>690569076
Nobody flipped out, don't give yourself so much credit breh. People are trying to educate you on being more broad-minded about guitar music but instead of maybe taking it to heart you're defending your point of "capos r 4 fags lol" like your life depended on it.
I can do multitrack drifting.
>>690567922
I got news for ya...
>>690568452
specialization has a 'z' in it. not an 's'.
just for future reference, Mr. over 9000 IQ
>>690569075
The thing is, any double Reed player can play single reed instruments with a little practice, but the opposite isn't true because we use muscles they use plus more
>>690568545
>me.
>early 1990's.
>11.
>doing homework in room.
>mother out of the house.
>without fail father comes in my room.
>"hey, im gonna need a favor."
>immediately know what he means out of routine.
>ask him where cause sometimes he'd say to go with him somewhere else.
>he says "here is fine".
>he locks door.
>i sit at edge of bed and give him blowjob.
>he cums but he'd let me know when.
>"thanks." "that was good." or "it felt really good" or some variation of that all the time.
>walks out of bedroom.
>back to doing homework.
>sort of thought of it as normal.
>>690569356
Britfag detected; Amerifag misses it.
>>690569152
>hes this triggered
kek for claiming im the ignorant one you still haven't answered this from the beginning of the thread
>>690565874
>>690569076
I'm not the capo guy either, I'm the original guy who said I've had success with the guitar.
Then I got to watch the influx of "know it all jackasses" spouting opinions on why everyone else isn't as good as them based off of loose assumptions gathered through an anonymous image board.
I'm successful in my ventures, if you're not perhaps you should try to be less edgy and angsty about it.
>>690569356
thanks dude, ill try to remember
nice ad hominem tho
>>690569395
Exactly this. I'm a flautist and my best friend is an oboist. I'm fucked basically. Double reeds win at life.
>>690568513
not a coincidence
>>690569214
That's verbatim what I said, yeah? You win champ
