Hey /b/ i'm in Pyongyang in North Korea and i'll be
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Hey /b/
i'm in Pyongyang in North Korea and i'll be here for the next 4 days.
I managed to smuggle an internet modem from Chinese border and im in my hotel room right now, trips decide what i do
don't make me do anything stupid, there are trigger happy communists everywhere
connection speed is really fucking bad so it will take a moment to upload a photo
>>689934743
write "Kim Sucks Dick" on a napkin and hold it up to window
>>689934857
Noone speaks english... draw a penis instead
>>689934743
Pic of the hotel room
write "kim is a cuck" on your dick and wave it %)through your window.
post on /pol/ and spoop them
>>689935595
roll
They have awesome streets there, but no cars.
HOLY SHIT OP GET THE FUCK PUT OF THERE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING THERE?
>>689934743
Pic of the Ryugyong hotel or your are not in Pyongyang.
>>689934743
How the fuck do you manage to smuggle in an Internet modem in your ass? And so what you still need cables and a fucking wall connection wtf is wrong with you . Who even takes a fucking modem around when they want Internet . That card should read 1990 not 2016 fucking cuck
>>689935777
Winrar
Shout 김 거시기를 짜증 (pronounced gim geosigileul jjajeung) out of the Window as loud as possible
>>689934743
Constantly refer to anything good as 'Wizard' see if you can get other people there to start saying it.
draw a picture of kim pooping
>>689935777
How am i supposed to spoop /pol/fags by posting this
>>689935951
There's no internet in North Korea you dumb fuck
>>689935896
Can't reach it from my window, and i have to stay in my room until 6 am. sorry.
Pee on a newpaper with kim's face on it, then throw it through your window screaming "USA #1"
>>689935595
roll
>>689936601
How many restaurant is there in your hotel ?
>>689935595
theyre gonna need a hubble space telescope to see that dick
>>689936945
oh.
then write it on a flag in north korean.
>>689934743
>>689936601
Play it safe.
Don't attract suspicion but take as many photos as you can. If you manage to get them out you will be one of the few people with photos to prove it and THAT will be fucking awesome. Mind I know you can take SOME photos SOME places there but try to sneak some you think they might not want you to have.
Enjoy being arrested OP ;) I hear North Korean death camps are pretty good these days.
>>689937345
>Play it safe
> but try to sneak some you think they might not want you to have
what do you want anon?
>>689937505
plsno son.
>>689937505
dats nasty
>>689937505
really nasty
>>689936601
Post anything on /pol/ they'll see the country come up
>>689934743
i've linked your thread to n. korean consualr office, you're welcome
>>689934743
Hurr sure it's spelled polygamy op not pyongyang and why the fuck do you want more than one husband you faggot?
>>689937505
hilarious
>>689936808
The hotel is divided into two parts, im in the second one
I'm sure there's a restaurant downstairs, don't know about the other part of the hotel tho. I think it's closed
>>689937345
I know. I have seen guards checking some other peoples cameras
>>689937505
Fuck you. They wont do shit, they don't sit behind the screen all the day checkin emails
>>689937927
fuck you too
The day /b sent a man to the Gulag.
>>689937622
wasted dubs
>>689934743
Why smuggle ? I just used my cellphone while staying there. Pyongyang is a tourist city. Every person from Europe can visited it without a problem.. are you trolling or an American?
>>689934743
You ain't in the DPRK faggot. You wouldn't even have a cell phone or internet access going there. It would be left at the air port until you leave. And probably returned with much spyware
>>689934743
they provide like 56kbps internet in pyongyang's hotel for foreign tourists, that's what I've heard
get caught like this bitch
Hotel room pic
>>689934743
Reported to our glorious revolution guards
Enjoy your time in the pokey, faggot
>>689937063
>in north korean
>>689938133
Are you retarded ? Look it up there are lots of tourist video from Pyongyang
Posting on epic thread it sucks we will probably not know what happened to the Op with north korea being so closed
>>689938273
Story?
>>689934743
OP?
>>689938200
There were computers (available for use between 12am-8pm i think) but theres no internet i suppose, only kwangmyong - their intranet
>>689938133
Are you retarded?
>>689934743
>I managed to smuggle an internet modem
why?
that's retarded on so many levels
0/10
OP you're fucking gangstar mahn, take pics of the ladies if you can, and post, holy shit these people have no freedom, take a pic of anything else tho too
>>689934743
ATTENTION: CIA
>>689938751
You aren't allowed to view the kwangmyong as a tourist. That's why you can't visite Internet cafes
0/10 trolling
spoken to any of the natives? put flowers and bowed before the massive statues yet? have you been to the Museum of the Construction of the Museum of the Construction of the Metro?
Actually funny thread !
I like the thing OP.
Enjoy taking vacation into shitland and get jailed here forever !
>>689934743
either state your exact location, timestamp or gtfo
also, have you seen any of the natives?
>>689936373
>Implying thats pronounseable
>>689936427
Reroll
>>689937505
Hilarious how you had to copy paste kim jong un
>>689938069
i emailed china. u fucked now son
>>689934743
Greetings from Capitalist Amerika!
Creeping in North Korea
>>689937505
Cuck
>>689934743
Become a communist or at least a socialist!
Hail to the revolution of a classless society
>>689938114
>You RAZY! You work now!
>>689939062
I havent used it, the guy at reception just told me its available between 12-8pm.
>>689939111
Nah, will do later today. I'll join one of these tourist gropus
>>689939304
I have seen few people on the streets when i was on my way to hotel, but i don't know who they were.
>>689939209
At least i'm travelling the world while you're sitting at your mothers basement wanking to gay ass traps
>>689939654
China won't do shit. They don't give a single fuck about NK
Make a poster of Kim's face that says
DEAR LEADER IS WATCHING YOU
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
>>689939062
Or the dude hasn't used their computers to see what the DPRK version of the internet is.
>>689939111
Spooooke
Op just sent me a text via pigeon. He will post more once his photoshop updated to the new version.
knock over a display rack you madman. post something, faggot
Hey OP,
What's the purpose of you being in NK before enforcing their laws?
>>689939978
I emailed China a screenshot of you saying China won't do shit about my email. Now you're mandarin double-fucked.
Creeeeeeep
>>689940341
lost
>>689940341
topukeku
>>689940341
Good luck with that
>>689938754
>>689935951
he's probably talking about a wireless modem
>>689936684
An american tourist recently got sentenced to 15 years of labour in best Korea. Doing that would probably make them execute him with a bloody AA-gun
if you can, blast desiigner - panda
>>689934743
none from sights from these hotels look like OP's photo
>>689937063
>North Korean
You do realize that it's still the same language as in the south, right?
OP is kil slash bread
>>689940928
>implying they would put real photos on the internet
>>689940795
Kill yourself
>>689934743
go to /pol/ and post this thread on there.
>>689940741
Finally someone got it
>>689940758
I'd rather get executed than 15 years of "labour" in NK. Fuck knows what are they really doing in these camps
>>689940795
Sorry i don't get it.
>>689941076
I'm not kill
>>689939882
>Become a communist or at least a socialist
>a classless society
Except for the ruling class.
The ruling class gets everything, the rest of society gets to stand in a two-hour line for a loaf of bread or some toilet paper.
Take a selfie of yourself with a north-korean from your building and make sure you tell him that the entire world is hoping they will get freedom one day, porn movies, coca-cola and banks
>>689938596
Stole a road sign, got 15 years in a labour camp
OP I hope you're behind 7 incognito modes
>>689937505
They dont have internet you retard
>>689941348
Post on pol OP and link us to it so we can legit see the flag
>>689939978
England, Norway, Denmark, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Florida, Costa Rica, Sweden, Czech Republic, Philippines, Hong Kong, Kenya, Tanzania, Egypt, Tunisia, Morroco (one week of walking through the Sahara), China.
Thanks Anon.
>>689941453
8 B)
>>689941396
north koreans believe they're in the best country in the world so telling one that will cause either hysteria or you dying
>>689941396
I want only the best for our shortsighted friends. Pepsi max, nectar of the gods.
>>689941493
This
>>689941158
get off the internet
>>689941348
How is your korean watchman?
I mean, every tourist gets a nork to follow him all the time so he doesnt talk to people who should be busy for greatest leader.
Is your personal watchman an ok dude or do you never talk to him?
>>689934743
oh if you're american and they decide to arrest you, don't confess to anything. ask for a fair trial whenever they ask you a question. The last thing the norks want to do is to have an american die in their custody. They'll beat the shit out of you but they won't do any permanent damage. Just don't confess
>>689941493
Pls do this OP, you beautiful son of a bitch
>>689941348
How do you explain lights on the streets? As far as I know there are so many blackouts... Power should be so valuable that they shouldn't waste with so many lights on the street, even in the capital.
>>689941736
what foreigners see is a facade, they'll have streetlights on in certain areas where they keep the foreigners.
>>689935856
>being a fag in nk
cum on the sheets
>>689934743
>I managed to smuggle an internet modem from Chinese border and im in my hotel room right now, trips decide what i do
>don't make me do anything stupid
I'd say mission accomplished already.
Post as may pics as you can before they come to buttfuck you.
>>689935595
roll
>>689941848
Plastic fucking fruit?!!
>>689941868
>Being a fag everywhere
>>689941493
Chinese modem -> Chinese flag
Some time ago 4chan was not blocked from China, how about now?
>>689941101
I looked up those hotels' surroundings
I bet OP is posting from russian suburbs
>>689934743
NO ONE LAUGH AT GREAT LEADER
>>689942039
ah
I see
I have no idea
>>689934743
Post a pic from McDonalds in Pyongyang
Get naked and run through the hotel screaming murder murder bloody murder
>>689934743
strip down and walk through the hallways of your hotel
>op hasn't posted any other pic
>mfw op photoshopped that picture and this is just bait
>>689934743
Why the fuck are you in NK (still don't believe you)? Who the fuck goes to NK for ANY reason? Hope you don't get caught but if you do, no sympathy at all. Serves you right for picking a tyrannical shit hole to vacation in.
>>689941888
winrar
lets see pyonyang
>>689934743
op is probably already in a concentration camp
>>689942096
shut up Kim
>>689941848
How about all the lights in the buildings in front of you? Are there really people living there and waking up so early?
I mean, you may as well be in China, if in asia at all...
>>689941736
There are no blackouts in Pyongyang since it's a representative place, the capital. But i've heard about the blackouts happening at smaller cities.
>>689941617
I talked with him for like 20 minutes, he seems okay but i can't be sure especially in North Korea
>>689941888
I'll post some pics tomorrow if they wont fuck me up
>>689942372
I'd hate to see a distraction camp
>we can safely conclude OP has died
>norks are eating his brain
>kimmy jongun is pissing on his corpse with his tiny wee wee
>yup OP's dead
post on /int/ and see if the DPRK flag comes up
also what the fuck, OP
>>689942418
Don't worry OP if something happens we will come for you
>>689942418
post them now you fucking cuck. I wanna see your room etc. For fucks sakes, show us a Northern Korean toilet w tp.
>>689942722
kek
>>689942722
No we won't.
Yell loud Allahu akbar
>>689942825
kek'd even more
>>689942096
Fuck off, Kim
Have you received any weird looks because you're a foreigner? What's your race?
>>689942413
again a facade, wouldn't be surprised if they had people that just go around and turn on and off lights in the areas where they keep the foreigners. remember, they have PLASTIC FUCKING FRUIT in the stores.
>>689942096
How fat is that turd these days?
300 pounds?
>>689942418
Did you see any soviet era car or some odd looking one?
You'd be my hero if u post some pics tmr
(you see, i have a particular fetish)
>>689942916
wow sick meme
i bet everyone there would understand
>>689937505
>fast as possile
Just fucking kill yourself
And this is how world war 3 started
Gg
>>689942418
>I cant be sure
Well, he is probably expendable and knows it so he'll make sure to be good at his job.
But I think most of the commis should be curious in the first place about non bestkoreans. He asked you stuff as he had the oppurtunity?
You are chinese arent you?
How many koreans have you spoken yet casually?
Are you even allowed to do that?
POST ON /int/ FOR GLORIOUS FLAG
You wont actually be sentaced to death unless you do anything that is directly against North Korean law.
All this anti DPRK hype has people believe you can actually be shot for folding a flag the wrong way which is off course absolute bullshit.
>build a pillow fort inside the bathroom
>circleshit around it
>pretend the feces are mines
>name fort The 38th Paralell
>smear shit messages of anti-DPRK writing over the walls
>sing The Star Spangled banner as high as you can, interrupted from time to time with a REEEEEEEE
>throw feces at DPRK guards as they burst through the door
>scream "you may take my life, but you can never take my capitalism" as they beat you down and arrest you
>get sentenced to execution by AA-machine gun, most glorious death
>everyone will be believe that what happened is just DPRK propaganda
>get hailed as a hero worldwide
>???
>profit
>>689941493
This
take dick out and cap on receptionist
ffs op is a fucking faggot sitting in a russian suburb. fuck him and his troll thread. moron cant even show some simple photos of his room
>>689943458
*fap
>>689934743
you just see you fiwthy amewican dog
>>689942377
>>689942968
YOU ARE BANNED FROM GLORIOUS COUNTRY
>>689943111
NICE TRIPS YANKEE
>>68994335
Those ridiculous stories of people being sentenced to death by AA guns are blatantly false. That would never happen and it has never happened before.
>>689942722
lol thanks
>>689942447
I'm not dead
>>689942784
It took me 4 attempts and few minutes to post a pic in the first post. I had to restart my modem twice. I'm having a connection problems right now, will try in a moment
If it won't work, i'll post them tomorrow, remember i'm here for 4 days
>>689943012
Surprisingly no weird looks. Im European
>>689943152
Havent seen any to be honest. Just these new, wannabe modern North Korean cars
>>689936427
roll
>>689943111
245 pounds
>>689942784
North Korean toilets are really just the helmets of fallen Korean-War US soldiers
>>689943861
kek
Dude, the leader of NK reported just died from a suicide attack.
http://www.eastasiatribune.com/north-asia/north-korean-leader-kim-jong-un-dead-after-apparent-suicide-attack/
>>689943705
No problem,anything for you OP (unless you're illegal)
>>689943705
Shit, you probably are in NK... there are no soviet cars anymore. Only old fiats with NK badges and Chinese cars with NK badges as far as i know
print this poster en masse, throw them from your hotel room window
>>689935777
North Korea proxies aren't anything special newfag.
>>689944067
fake satire website.
>>689944067
holy shit
>>689939376
>pronounseable
>>689943692
just like that millitary guy that was executed with an anti tank weapon or something like that for falling asleep in a ceremony right? fucking weaboos defending even north korea
>>689944067
fake and gay
>>689944284
my favorite headline from that site
Malaysian Man Loses Testicle After Being Caught Snapping ‘Upskirt’ Shot
>>689943353
Holy fuck my sides, someone please screencap this
>>689944067
>suicide attack
>he attacked himself
>believable
>>689937505
hahahaha
OP here
i gotta go, i need to hide the modem n shit and get some sleep before i check out rest of Pyongyang. I'll try to post tomorrow.
Wish me luck
>>689937505
thats fuuuuucked
>>689944670
Stay safe
>>689944670
if you are really there then good luck bro you will need it
>>689944670
go outside and walk around everywhere doing the hitler salute
>>689941493
This
Do it or your a faggot
>>689944670
avoid them police. i bet you already had a bounty on your head because of this kuk >>689937505
God speed man and good luck.
>>689934743
one does not just simply plug in a modem and get internet.
I shall be looking for you in the coming days OP, don't disappoint me...
>>689945539
HURR DURR
http://www.t-mobile.com/internet-devices/zte-falcon-z-917-hotspot.html?CAWELAID=120159240000006218&cmpid=WTR_CS_p11187775513&gclid=COaK7Ie7rc0CFYw2gQodaGIJLg&gclsrc=aw.ds
>>689944670
try to jack-it near kim flag
also gl fam
Go jack off in public, make sure you get video of it.
>>689937505
But why?
>>689945539
>>>689934743 (OP)
>one does not just simply plug in a modem and get internet.
What are you fucking retarded m8 yes you can
Cum all over the furniture
>>689934743
i call bs. could be a photo in the morning dated for the future.
making this thread could land one an espionage sentence there
>>689937505
Oh shit, OP is kill
>>689934743
have you seen this girl ?
>>689942096
good keep on improving your country faggot
>>689944357
That guy was seen at the Korean Workers party congress a few weeks ago on live tv you goddamn idiot, also I have never even watched anime ever in my life.
>>689948888
CHECKED
>>689948565
yeah 3rd from the left
>>689944582
do you have ALS?
>>689949332
bullshit i need a picture from the back
ALL IMPERIALIST SCUM WILL DIE
You need to go and do Karaoke with the NK's and then vocaroo it.
Write:
>"WELCOME TO THE RICEFIELD,MOTHERFUCKERS"
In front of a public place
>>689949591
Never, superior North Korean women never take it from the back
>>689934743
are u german ?
>>689939111
winrar
>>689934743
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=096hnKDw5tc
op you taking a huge risk
>>689942200
Check em
>>689950182
Meh the whole thing seems fishy to me
is it true that kimmy is kill??
안영 ㅋㅋㅋ
>>689950488
All deez dubs
kfausa . org
Pure Gold!
>>689950583
Hello to you too faggot
>>689950488
Wester imperialist scum our great dear chubby leader is fine and super sizing
>>689950864
동성애자
>>689950841
everyone looks so happy..
>>689951065
Of course north korea best korea and extra twizzlers all round
>>689937505
You're an incredible piece of shit
>>689943353
>sing The Star Spangled banner as high as you can, interrupted from time to time with a REEEEEEEE
>>689951373
>literally 10 things on that machine
>not even placed that well, none are on top
top kek
>>689951396
No he is just misguided our political re education camps are glazed with mirrors so the inmates wont be blinded by sunlight ( can you imagine that fucker having authority over you ? )
>>689937505
Watch if OP gets fucked it's your fault. I hope you remember that you killed someone. Fucking edgy lord
>>689951857
Yankee scum you doubt our socialist production success ?
>>689934743
A modem would do you no good without an ISP to connect to, and the fiber optic cable lines that they don't even have.
>>689949332
kek
>>689942418
Time you will try to post by? Please give answer in "hours from now" so we can be sure of the time on an international level. Also take as many photos as possible about you being there and send it to someone you trust to throw a fit if you get captured.
>>689934743
How are you in Pyongyang? Anyway, I suggest you take A LOT of pictures. North Korea is a very messed up place and you might never go there again. So taking many pictures would be a good idea because then you'd have a lot of memories of your trip to one of the worst countries in the world.
>>689952331
Wireless, probably connects to some cell phone company or possibly a Sat connection like you would get with a Sat phone.
>>689952397
And extra funkiness
>>689934743
too many cars visible on your pic OP
not north korea
>>689952810
Exactly
>>689937505
TOP ZOZ
Get fucked OP.
You fuckers all get this joke and DO NOT fucking deny it
>>689940341
>mandarin double-fucked
With wonton soup and an egg roll, please.
>>689941671
That's actually the opposite. Their culture values confession, and thinks evasion is worse than the crime itself. Also if you die they will most likely cover it up.
"American citizen detained and beaten in Korea"
>>689944670
The best of luck to you
Have you been told what you can't do, and the punishments you'll get for breaking rules?
Also how much like 1984 is it?
>>689934743
rub one out for glorious leader
>>689953415
Best of luck you will need it
>>689942096
Dubs replied.
Trips replied.
Quads replied.
Nobody requested sharpie in pooper from OP...
>>689944670
>>689945269
I will call a NK official tomorrow. If you make a thread I'll post the recording there. I will go with something like "U.S. spy making fun of North Korea from pyongyang hotel" I'll hit the sack for now, but first thing after breakfast tomorrow... You'll be getting noodles up your ass when picking up the soy sauce in the death camp showers.
>>689935856
this, please OP don't die.
>>689937505
>possile
>>689941486
Actually, they do have internet you fucktard.>>689941569 this is generally not the case at all. The average citizen actually doesn't believe this, and wants the both to united outside of the norths rule There is a large underground movie and literature trade on the boarders of china and DPRK. Source: I've been there and I speak Korean.
When the fuck did /b/ get so fucking retarded?
>>689954145
Dont forget the teeth
>>689953835
Sharpie in kims pooper
>>689954453
At the same point it became full of 12 year olds
>>689942418
My activity guide was this really chill 40 year old dude that took me to a park with children and such. I handed out a few apples, and spoke with some of the mothers for about ten minutes before he said we had to leave.
>>689947914
Since when? You need a service provider.
I just got a new plan yesterday. They sent out a new modem plugged it in and could connect but couldn't search the net for a few hours until they did some shit on there end.
Give your modem to someone in need.
>>689955141
Oh shit nigger what's this
>>689935951
Ever heard of dial up? Before broadband, Internet traffic was carried over telephone lines.
>>689955315
What's your point? You still can't just hook up to net anywhere in the world with just a simple modem.
>>689955416
Still need an ISP.
>>689955416
Remember it well friend
>>689955556
so close
Op, don't leave the modem in with your luggage. You can hide the modem inside the dresser and check the bottom of the wall mirror for a recording device.
go to the closest social supermarket and ask for a double whooper
>>689940341
>i emailed china
Like, you e-mailed the entire China? Shit son, you're hardcore.
>>689934743
OP, are you stil alive 35 minute later ?
>>689955753
Oh please he is a chubby virgin bedroom dweller in Baltimore
>>689955556
You can with spoof/service codes on ISDN, Dslam and unfiltered ppoee, but that is not the case. It could be a satellite modem or it could be CDMA. Come on kid, you could hide the fact you're an idiot a bit more.
>>689956254
oh you think his a virgin bitch you talking about guy that has a whole country for himself
>>689944670
Best of luck, OP. Nobody in this thread is actually worth their salt, so I can guarantee that their threats are as empty as Kim's 300lb skull. Cucknadia stands with you.
Godspeed.
>>689956482
Even with satellite net you need an ISP. Yes all sorts of tricky things are possible but judging by ops posts I really doubt that is the case.
>>689934743
Korean police here: run mister...
Hey, OP, was it you that killed Kim?
>>689934743
Several reasons this can't be in North Korea:
1) 4:07am eh? Suspiciously bright out for 4:07am.
2) North Koreans don't leave their street lights on all night. They go off at a curfew time each night to save power.
3) Suspiciously many lights still on in apartments, considering it's supposedly 4:07am
OP noticed there were no cars in the road outside his apartment, took a photo, and thought "eh, kinda reminds me of North Korea. Wonder how many people I could fool on /b/ with this". And in a desperate attempt to seem genuine, wrote in Hangul instead of English to seem more genuine
>>689934743
>Tourist gropus
>gropus
Yeah rigth
>>689956787
errrrrrrrrrrr speak English fucker
>>689957442
/thread
>>689934743
tourists have access to the internet you lying sack of shit
>>689957577
go enjoy your summer
>>689934743
Are you a journalist OP ? How did you get in the country in the first place ?
Damn no paint what color do i need ?
>>689937505
summer is her4e
>>689938273
this picture is edgy but it was his fault
>>689957825
You couldn't be more wrong
Hey, little korean guy. Tell me about weather in ur country. Ur country, it means Lodz (city in Poland)
>>689941617
i'd bang her
>>689937505
Can you email my mom and tell her I'm ok?
OP here, North Korean guards have found my modem, and they are putting sharpies in my pooper.
PLease alert the US goverment to help me out.
>>689958191
you really think you are not a newfag if you were here during toaster steve?
kill yourself
와 진짜 한국 사람이에요?
반갑습니다~
>>689958191
errrrrrr virgin :-D
>>689956254
love that video, hnnngggggg
>>689958194
He was cheated, I found op. He live in Poland morons xD Do you wanna get him addres?
>>689958825
his*
