What does /b/ have behind or near their bed?
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
What does /b/ have behind or near their bed?
OP's mom
bumpit
http://tosh.cc.com/video-clips/527595/cold-steel-blade
A wall.
Found in a house clearance about 10 years ago has some mudslime writing on it unsure of origin.
Kyriacos? Use to have a friend that did the exact same shit as you when we were kids.
>>689774517
Watch, OTF knife and ring
a shotgun because im not an underage fag playing with knives
I have a spare exhaust manifold with catalytic converters for my car. It's under my bed. My apartment could have had more storage space.
dust
It's in my pocket right now
>>689774517
Dustbunnies.
>>689778232
>what autism looks like
P95 ruger
>>689776297
>Lord of the ring knife
That's so fucking gay
>>689774517
Half pint of something at all times
>>689777918
>>689778232
you should take that back to the flea market and get your 5 bucks back
>>689778471
kek
and also true
Leatherman wave, for general stuff
>>689778992
It's actually 10 dollars, thank you very much. It ain't fancy but if I really needed to fuck someone up, it would get the job done. With enough force I can drive the other end of a spoon into your neck
>>689778232
Did you make the handleduster yourself, and what's with the splooge?
>>689779289
What if you had a dream and accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else in your sleep? Like sleep stabbing or some shit?
Why do you faggots all sleep with weapons next to your beds? I got a fleshlight and lube.
>>689779289
>look out we got an edgelord over here
with enough force i can drive my dick into your ass
your knife is shit and i am willing to bet you are underage b&
>>689774517
Condoms you fucking cringe
>>689776297
What is that? Brass? That's a letter opener.
>>689779766
In case you wanted to murder yourself in a comfortable laying position.
>>689774517
Bottle of poppers.
>>689774517
my teddy
You guys are stupid as hell.
I had a friend who was into knives.
He put one through someone's side 2 months ago and killed them.
Currently he is in jail awaiting trial for a murder charge.
Stabbed them ONCE.
Fucking idiots.
a drum rack piece
a stuff that's slightly asian and dull that I bought
a french bayonette
>>689774517
Can o' pee.
I've got that
>>689780320
forgot the picture
>>689780280
bet it felt sweet tho
>>689774517
steel rod from a printer
>>689778494
THAT'S NOT A KNIFE
>>689780366
>airgun
hahaha beta fag
>>689780141
Nice
>>689780366
An air rifle ?
What you gonna do - mildly annoy someone with it ?
>>689780200
>my teddy
my niggah
>>689780443
Probably not , he was an extremely capable lad who could have handled the situation without a knife. If he had done that he wouldn't be in a cell.
oi oi
>>689776297
Nice SA dagger. Is it real or reproduction?
>>689780412
bayonet's nice and probably antic, ww2 right ?
The rest is ridiculous.
>>689774517
COOOOOOOLD STEEEEEEL
Dad's got his gun cabinet about a step away from his bed
2 shotties and a rifle in there, plenty of rounds too
Shame we're britfags, he can't use them in self defence if someone breaks into his house
>>689777652
Looks indonesian
dirt
>>689774517
Dead hooker.
>>689777918
>image.jpg
Wow so most you here on /b/ are all newfags. I have a 870 express pump 12 gauge that I bought when I was 19...in 1992 before you young soon to beta chucks were born
>>689781111
check'd
>>689781257
Can you smell summer?
>>689774517
A keep a cricket bat next to my bed because I'm not a massive edgelord
Cucks
>>689774517
Nine iron
>>689774517
Too lazy to take a pic, but a billy club. I wrapped duct tape around it, in case I have to bloody someone up, and need to hide evidence.
>>689774517
Normally sleep with this under my pillow, do have anything beside my bed.
Random shit
>>689780366
hahahaha fucking underage faggot
look at the shit on his shelves and around the bed
you are definitely not old enough to be here
>>689780588
you could crack a skull with it
P22 Walther
It sits about 2 feet from my bed.
Empty beer cans
>>689781070
WW1
WW2 didn't have that hook anymore.
>>689781192
What makes you think that ?
some cheap broken scimitar looking thing that i ground down to be smaller. one of those basses would probably be a better choice to be honest
>>689774517
I feel bad for people that live in a country where you feel the need to have a fucking weapon next to your bed incase you need to defend yourself.
That's just sad and depressing.
>>689774517
how cringe of you.
Of course I haven't been to Bud K's Ninja College so I wouldn't know how to use one of those.
Is that one of the decent cold steel knives that is made in Japan?
>All these weapons
What kind of shithole do you live in that you need to have protection by your side while you sleep?
>>689784035
Sunnyslope
>>689774517
>>689784174
Fucking purest of keks.
>>689774517
I'm sure the ladies are much happier to see you are a Naruto fan with knives next to the bed, instead of a box of dildos and vibes like a fan of the ladies would have.
No box of sex toys, tells women that you are pure and untouched by other women.. It also suggest you know how to collect pokemon.
Do you also have a Star Trek uniform or a fur suit?
>>689774517
swords...extendable batons, knives and sai, my killer instinct, my edgyness...oh and my trusty fedora of course...
>>689783749
kek
only one string on the bass. typical bassist.
e e e e e e e e e
>>689784617
not supposed to share sex toys so even if I had a box of them..what self respecting whore is gonna wanna jam herself with a dildo some other whore used and that me, being a naruto loving faggot, probably didnt wash or sterilize...
>>689784759
ahah well played m'lady
>>689784983
you don't mind putting the restaurants silverware in your mouth when eating out.
so why mind cleaned toys.
>>689784983
1. The "whore" is probably fine with doing that if she just pulled out of the other "whore".
2. By silicone and just run them through your dishwasher like everyone else does.
For the LULZ invite a date over and tell her she can get a clean plate out of the dishwasher.
>>689785474
>2. By silicone and just run them through your dishwasher like everyone else does.
ew who does this?
1187 w/ 18" barrel. Plug removed. Stock cut down. 6 rounds in sidecar
>>689774517
iPhone charger
TP
glass of water/juice/soda or whatever I have at the moment.
>>689785852
drinking soda in bed...
fucking nigga
>>689785595
People who have sex with lots of women so most men and women.
>>689784851
>doesn't look at the other two
It's my old first one, the single string is to keep tension on the neck to prevent bowing.
>>689774517
44. Magnum
>>689774517
A dildo
>>689786073
I'm not drinking galons of soda, 1 or 2 sips, fuck around in the phone, take 2 sips more and go to sleep, the whole glass is there the next morning for my pills.
I usually just have a phone charger and a lamp behind/near my bed.
Mostly because I'm not some crack-addled, paranoid, fifteen year old who's afraid of phantom marauders who can get through a locked door without making any noise.
>>689781257
>beta chucks
>>689774517
Myself
A vagina, you paranoid lonely cousinfuckers.
all you knife fags won't stand a chance in CQC
Judi chops.
Keep dis handy
pennies
>>689787132
kek. not even real!
>>689780200
your teddy has a cameltoe
>>689787444
trips can't lie
>>689787132
Nigga we sks twins. Mine looks just look yours.
>>689787542
that's why i like her so much
>>689787444
Da fuq you mean "not even real" nigga? Arsenal slr-107. Fuckin know it all kids.
>>689785403
>>689785474
lol I didnt say I dont know how to clean them...I have toys but only one person usues them when she comes over and she has the same ones at her place basically...cleaning them or not, in my experience most chicks like to feel special and pulling out my other chicks double dongabd being like..oh sure its clean etc...idk doesnt work for me.
>>689785290
;) oh yeah. lol
Wooden baseball bat
>>689787720
Not an sks fuckwad. Clearly you are a nigger. Only nig nogs would mistake an ak for an sks.
>deez guns
And a Mossberg.
>>689774517
my massive cack..and I aint even lying look...
>>689787132
pffft nice paintball gun and tennis racket case edge lord.
>>689790070
I remember the thread where this pic crashed my PC. I made his cock so long in photoshop, it ate up all my vram and system ram.
Good times...
>>689787132
Is that an ALG trigger? How you like it?
Fight me
>>689790402
prove that youre the guy who made it
>>689790070
Thats a pretty long kack. :^)
>>689790721
a lighter and a tiny knife
so scared
>>689790969
well, one well stroke tiny knife can make you sleep in a bed or in a coffin in the end of the week so...
>>689774517
Tfw the most weapon-like object under my bed is a huge horse dildo.
>>689790887
>anon
>prove
Somebody's new. And it's me (or you)
>I me you we can't tell
I me you we take it back, I me you we don't have to prove anything.
>>689790402
lol you made that? I probably got it off here myself haha
>>689790969
Stainless steel knife, will pierce through clothes and skin. If he's wearing a tshirt i jab his arms.
I also hold gas button on lighter if i hear a noise in house, and if he enters my room i jam lighter into his face/eye and it burns like fuck.
>>689790944
why yes, yes it is...
>>689791352
kek
>>689774517
This bat.
I also have a pocket knife on my nightstand.
>>689791294
I didn't make that exact one, but started the enlargement of his penis.
We were seeing how long we could make it, and I got to well over 8 gig file size before my PC took a dump.
Was a few years ago...
>>689774517
>>689781602
kek
this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e-xwHCXcCs
If not in my pocket it's by my bed
this
>>689774517
I actually keep a claymore under the bed. Damned thing has been with me for ages, meant to sharpen it up for a friend but I never find the time
Hand ground tanto
>>689792158
that was fucking awful
you should feel ashamed
>>689783749
Everyone questions the strings and guitars. I wonder why his nails are painted
>>689778697
This
>>689792059
>Not using a ozzinator
>>689780588
>>689781070
>and probably antic
it definitely looks...
>antic
>>689774517
a phone charger because im not a retarded pussy who lives in fear to the point of hiding knives or guns under the bed
>>689780510
Under rated post
>>689774517
How many hookers have you killed with that?
>>689774517
Panties
Got this under the bed (between pillow and bed)
>>689794162
thats a big dildo
>>689781546
good idea
Hot off the press
>>689791680
I can dig it...
>>689774517
lol nice OP I keep this close at hand
>>689778592
>lord of the rings
nigger are you for real?
>>689774517
I have a piano under my bed
Was going to say keyboard but wanted to avoid confusion
>>689778232
lmao nice piece, mall-ninja
>>689778494
either play the game or don't
>>689794437
For you
>>689782404
not insulting you, but I also love that camo look on certain guns, but I wonder if that makes me trashy for liking it.
>>689786944
>CQC
>Brings gun
>doesn't understand what CQC is
a knife is a knife
>>689791202
you need to get another one and make nunchucks out of them
>>689796119
>CQC
>Brings gun
>wins cqc against knifefag
>>689796186
unless it's a fucking karambit, the dane cook of knives
A full blood German boxer a DPMS ar-15 and a XD .40
>>689796186
How u stab em
>>689796119
the guns is for CQC since you can't hit shit passed 15ft while you knife fags charge me I can hit you further away mabye 30-40ft since you're a bigger target
>>689795012
I've got one like that but it's made of high carbon steel.
You can use a giant boulder of solid granite as a cutting board and it never looses it's edge.
>>689796436
karambit is still sharp and pointy like any other knife it just has the benefit of looking more intimidating than a swiss army knife your grandpa gave you for your 12th birthday
>>689796436
who's dane cook?
>>689796186
do u have a matching trillby?
>>689796551
with the pointy end
>>689781659
That's one high resolution photo right there
>>689796797
it's a karambit not a replica katana from some shit anime
>>689779289
>>689796711
the shape of a karambit is designed to work against the natural fluid movement of a useful knife.
>>689796913
lel kid got a little hurt from that comment..
defending himself harder than he defends his
virginity with that "karambit".
>>689797131
define useful and remember it's not a utility knife
if you're tryna hurt someone with a knife it just needs to be sharp and/or pointy
>>689797173
yes it affected me deeply
>>689797381
Shit forgot to type the name lol
>mosberg 590 tactical shotgun
>>689774517
3 rifles, a shotgun, a handgun, 4-5 knives including a cheap Bowie knife, a bokken, two live and loaded airshit grenades (flashbangs without the flash basically), a war club (mosin stock), and a bayonet for my mosin. I'd like to get a good sword at some point too.
>>689795534
It does
>>689797411
so why aren't people going around killing people with arrow heads, stone or metal?
>>689774517
This generally
>>689797602
muslims do though
ITT: bunch of frightened faggots
>>689797602
because kitchen knives are readily availible
buying an actual 'fighting knife' means you're just trying to make a statement or you just like to collect knives, if you're trying to hurt or kill someone you'd save yourself £10 and just look in the kitchen
>>689783878
>>689797803
Wait, you have to be frightened to have weapons near your bed? God dammit anon, now I have to move all my shit into the fucking hall. Go fuck yourself with a pike you asshole.
>>689798000
angry
A water canteen.
Remington 700 nitro that I lost the plug for so I just stick it between the mattress and box spring incase some Faggot breaks in
m70ab2 and 2 full clips
removing kebab
more like behind my right kidney, but same thing
>>689798000
Sorry, meant to say "frightened and insecure faggots"
>>689797803
>bunch of frightened faggots
On the contrary, we're not frightened of anything at all.
>>689782404
You mean p22 umarex
>>689798369
that was cold
>>689798242
>>689797858
You don't want to do any fighting with most kitchen knives. You want a guard to keep your fingers from slipping up to the blade. Chef's knives would probably work fine, but steak knives are right out.
>>689779851
Why you got condoms fam? You dont need them, I need them for your mum though haha lol
>>689790721
I have the same knife. little red LED?
>>689780366
Its a melee weapon hahah lol what hahahah underage little cunter hahah lol
>>689798558
Wrecked
>>689797803
<-Actual frightened faggots
>>689798802
literally any sharp kitchen knife is sufficient to stab someone, any extras are just nitpicky, as long as you hold tight and don't have greasy dorito fingers you won't be slipping
>>689781252
It's image.png though??
>>689798496
For u
>>689799321
you sleep in your car or something ?
>>689774517
>What does /b/ have behind or near their bed?
>>689778232
I'd buy something like this for the keks. How much did it cost?
Not as exciting as knives, guns, or rocket launchers.
I sleep with my hand under my pillow, sometimes my entire forearm.
>>689799842
what's the practical use of the silencer in the case of an intrusion..?
>>689799842
Am i going to see you in the news next?
>>689800076
>what's the practical use of the silencer
I enjoy hearing things
>>689792158
Feet are good though
>>689800229
That, and reduced flash, which would effectively blind you at night.
>>689800229
ohhh...
>>689800369
also yes
A maglight torch and i know how to use it (been in LE for about 6 years)
I'm tipping all you edgelords wouldnt even know how to use those weapons and would lose them in a fight kek
>>689800166
nah, you're looking at a 2-3 thousand dollar rifle, maybe upwards of 4 if he's gucci as fuck.
arg pls go
>>689774517
the answer is obviously dildo, bong or gun.
>>689800831
>not all 3
what happened to you, /b/?
>>689786216
You're supposed to be taking pictures of knives, not basses, you painted-nail fairy.
>>689800984
It went from shit to super shit
>>689774517
never heard that was a cringe thread
>>689801432
it is what it is
if you dont like it then kindly fuck off
>>689800984
I've had all 3, just not all at the same time before.
This motherfucking thing.
>>689801702
Only thing i want to fuck here is you, desu.
>>689778494
Cheers
>>689801743
Are you in the gray bar hotel?
>>689781999
Checked.
A dildo
>>689780366
Those weights and that car...you're alright by me anon
>>689801988
nice textures!
>>689781708
Wow guys someone doesn't get humor
Kimber ProCarry 2
Cocked & Locked
>>689779289
If you're being serious that's worth like 40 dollars it's a cold steel xl voyager, good stuff
>>689803736
>kimber
more like cracked and locked
memes aside though, props on carrying a 1911
watch this pls https://youtu.be/A6VWApZO_qA
>>689804154
>>689780412
What a queer
>>689804009
My only issue with it is that it eats recoil springs. Kimber springs last about 400 rnds. Wolfs last 600-800.
>>689803736
Nice anon. I carry a Colt railgun.
>>689780280
Cool story bro.
Two young niggers broke into my house a while back and killed my dog I shot back but only managed to give one a colostomy bag and wheelchair. The other was fast like a cheetah.
>>689780280
owning a tool doesnt mean you are necessarily going to use it
Dildos
>>689800739
jesus christ, no wonder our faggots are getting shot by the mudslimes with you in our LE. Do us a favor and shooting spree your department.
>>689780280
it's not about the action or even the tool used, it's about the circumstances that led to the decision to use force
if your friend is facing murder charges, the family is probably asshurt as fuck or he didn't need to do that.
remember, the use of lethal force should be restricted to times when you feel as though your life or property is in immediate and direct danger
and in court you'll have a hard time pulling defense of property unless it's something major like your livelihood (attempted theft of livestock)
>>689796711
except it doesnt look intimidating at all.... it looks like i can take you on because you cant make thrusting stabs with that thing .. only sweeping swings... that instantly limits your attack possibilities and makes them predictable/ easy to counter.
Over specialize and you breed in weakness.
>>689774517
I like that knife
>>689798650
awesome teenage mutant ninja turtles blanket anon
useless abomination of a weapon though
>>689774517
Old Corona bottle. Sleeping on street.
>>689806660
no you dont
Just these
Your mom.
>>689796737
exactly
>>689806866
bersa thunder?
nice grips btw
Too much?
>>689774517
A gun like a real man
>>689807530
>BERSA THUNDER
>LAUGHINGGIRLS.bmp
Fuck no. Protip: if you see someone trying to sell you a bersa thunder, do a 360 and moonwalk the fuck outta there. They're absolute garbage.
It's an FEG PA-63, which is a nearly identical Hungarian clone of the Walther PP, chambered in 9x18 Makarov. It's ergonomic as fuck for someone with small hands, easily concealable, and devilishly handsome.
>>689802180
winrar
>>689808078
nice, sorry if I insulted your glorious combloc pistolet, I just don't know a ton about smaller handguns.
I picked up a bulgarian mak about 2 months ago and 9mm mak is sweet as shit to shoot, I just wish the magazines weren't 30 fuckin' dollars a piece.
>>689796186
that would be good for slicing off nigger cocks at a glory hole
>>689808390
bersa is argentinian bro
>>689808530
>It's an FEG PA-63, which is a nearly identical Hungarian clone of the Walther PP
I was referring to his handgun that I had mistakenly assumed to be a bersa
but thanks, I didn't know that
>>689808390
Nah, no offense taken. Once upon a time I bought into the Bersa meme, and four expensive trips to the gunsmith later, I learned(from the words of the gunsmith himself) that most weapons coming from South America are absolute garbage when it comes to build quality, reliability, and durability.
If there's anything you want to know, feel free to ask. Makarovs are pretty fun, but I sold my PM recently since I never really shoot it compared to my 9mms or my PA63.
This
>>689808943
my bad then Mr gunnery sergeant.. they are pretty shitty anyway so.. never buy.. one only to plink at most
I have a baseball bat, a throwing axe (I found it and just throw it for fun) and a machete (which is very useful when I am out in the woods) all nearby my bed
Just my trusty K98 <3!
>>689809419
we've reached /k/ritical mass, time to abandon thread
>>689809095
how big is your penis?
>>689809095
u do know that Taurus and Rossi are brazilian right? they have been cold forging barrels and shit for colt and rock island armory for quite some time
>>689804500
Really? Ive easily put over 2000 through my springfield. Have had no problems with any parts.
>>689809419
>Mitchells mauser
Whatever, do wht you want with it. Not like it's worth the pixels it's displayed on.
>>689809492
Dunno, haven't measured it lately. About average, I'd guess, and I haven't gotten any complaints about it.
>>689809775
Taurus has a notoriously bad reputation, up until recently when they've started to get their shit together. Rossi has always been pretty good, but not always reliable, and usually somewhat expensive. I had a rossi lever action that would choke up a lot.
>>689798914
Spot the summerfag
>>689810214
Spotted.
>>689809823
With 1911s, It's generally recommended to replace your recoil spring every 1000-2000 rounds. Compacts especially. I LOVE the little Sig P938s, but if you don't replace the recoil spring every 600-800 rounds, you're gonna have issues.
a dildo
>>689781374
Brian Adams - Summer of 1992
Pencil, gun, dildo.
>>689810429
Hmmm. Never knew that. Might go grab a new one next time im out. Still shoots and loads fine though fwiw. Does about a 4" group at 15 yards.
