Greentext stories?
Pic not related
>>689125071
>be me
>be now
>see this thread
>write this story
>post
>>689125282
NOICE
>>689125282
Mind blowing. How did you get through it?
>>689125071
>come home from work
>super boring day, glad it's over
>head over to /b/
>lurking.jpg
>don't see any faggots, could be a good night
>a wild OP appears
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>Be me
>Browsing internet
>see picture to the left
>Wtf.jpeg
>Realize someone took the time out of their life to make this abomination
>kek
>>689125071
just wrote this in another thread
>part 1
>>689126041
BASED
>Be me
>Don't go out much
>Bro invites me to his house
>Play soccer and shit
>We go back to my house for vidya
>stop at gas station for snacks
>buy like 5 bottles of pop and 5 bags of chips for 2 people
>still not even close to the most disgusting and pathetic person there
>there's a girl that looks like a fucking ogre
>could crush entire villages in one swing
>2 10 year old girls wearing hoarish makeup
>Dad looks like the biggest cuck
>The fucking female cashier has a beard and a double chin
>A fucking beard
>My bro buys the shit while I satre into oblivion realizing what this world has come to
>I didn't think the things I saw on the 4chan cringe threads could be true
>>689126802
dude you made a crack whore kill herself
>>689127990
I really hope that wasn't the case.
>>689125282
holy shit someone screencap
>>689125071
>be me
>get ass raped by black monster cocks
>get up everyday and take cock in ass
>one day 13 year old is in masters office
>i sneak in and steal him
>i rape the fuck out of him
>mfw im in prison
>mfw im jared from subway
bump to keep thread alive
>>689125071
>buttsecks
>that is all
>>689125282
Bullshit. Fucking fake as shit stories choking up these threads with unbelievable nonsense.
good wincest
Fuck you
I may have raped a girl
>be me
>19
>living in low rent apartment with roommates
>one roommate is female
>flirts with both of us all the time
>diamonds thinking about it
>one night all 3 of us go out to a party
>i dont have much money so i dont drink too much
>while she was sleeping snuck in room
>quiet tip toe
>go up to her bedroom she had been drinking so she's passed out cold
>on the bed fast asleep still dressed
>nudge her arms and legs to make sure she's really out
>she's blacked out
>no idea what's going on
>lift up her skirt
>just sneak a peak at that sweet meat
>getting hard so pull cock out
>see her green lacy panties
>see through
>instantly start fapping when I see her vagina
>start touching it to see if she feels
>she's unaware but she moans when I start rubbing it
>pull her panties to side
>kneel down and start licking her tight wet cunt
>being a virgin this experience is greatest ever
>jerkin it hard
>pass the point of no return, feeling myself cum
>she starts stiring and waking up
>"anon?"
>oh shit oh shit oh shit
>she starts to realize what's going on
>yell "I'm not going out without a bang!"
>she cries out "cum all ogre me"
>shove my cumming dick into her vagina and cum buckets
>she moans and grumbles and then shes fiona
>im shrek
>somebody once told me
>the world was gonna roll me
>i aint the sharpest tool in the shed
>>689131897
>>689132108
>>689125071
my best tard encounter
>in this thread I met OP
>>689126802
dude what the fuck is your problem?
>>689131006
i refuse to believe this is real
just a magnificent /b/astard making fun of us
>>689131904
Kill yourself
am i the only one contributing? who the fuck is lurking out here so i can cont?
>>689126267
Well okay then.
>>689133336
THAT IS FUCKING HOT
>>689133979
>>689133979
thanks fuckers
>>689126765
i saw it earlier you heartless bastard
>>689128597
You're a piece of shit.
any other contribooters? i cant be fucking alone, ive done the last 50
>>689126765
Hey i was just there. The girl that told me she still loved me but wasn't in love with me. How you doin?
>>689133010
Fucking kek
I have a tard story that was posted just yesterday- made me laugh hope everyone else enjoys
I thought I'd put in a story of win to cheer up those that have been through an ugly break-up. This happened about 17 years ago but it is still pretty awesome.
>Me 32 (single dad with generous visitation), gf 31. At the time she was a nurse (BSN) and I had just started in the IT field. We dated for 3 years
>I was a total beta at the time because I was making jack shit as I just started in IT.
>My roomate was going to be married, so I had to find a place to live. We had been dating a year so we got engaged after our 1st year together.
>So I move in with her. No problems for the first month or two.
>I discovered that she had a horrible temper. Actually smacked me a few times. Never hit her back.
>She constantly reminded me how little I made in comparison to her after I change careers.
>She starts bitching about me having my son too much. Actually told me I should have him every other weekend. I told her no way.
>Beginning of year 2, we set a date. In the meantime, I'm already planning an exit strategy because I know I don't want to be with this ill-tempered woman any longer.
>Couldn't just leave as I know her to be very vindictive and I wouldn't get any of my stuff back (including the engagement ring).
>In the meantime, I start chatting up a 23 year-old figure skater in Wisconsin in yahoo while I'm at work.
>Make arrangements to meet figure skater in Chicago.
>Tell fiancee that I'm going to Chicago for a job interview.
>>689135621
its already legendary, was in that thread
>>689135544
>cousin
>As I'm getting ready to leave for the airport, I can't find my keys, she accuses me of leaving them in the door (something I did exactly once)
>She goes ballistic and spits in my face
>I snap and smack her across the face (still the only time I've hit a woman).
>I push her on the bed and grab her by the throat and tell her to NEVER hit me again.
>She drives me to the airport in silence
>Meet said hottie figure-skater in Chicago. We hit it off and bang all weekend.
>One of the hottest sexual experiences I had. Tight, flexible, and wanted to swallow my cum.
>Gf picks me up at the airport. I say in light of our fight that perhaps we need some time apart before the wedding.
>Tell her that way when we get married, it will be like new.
>IT career takes off. Get a new job, making as much as she was. Instead of congrats, she bitches that she has a degree
>from a top university in my state and I have meaningless degrees in History and English.
>I calmly respond that money follows skills and my skills are in demand
>No longer beta.
>Move out and in with a good buddy.
>Over the two months, I'm working a LOT (probably 60+ hours). Not time for her
>I see her 3 times in the first month after I started my new job.
>At the start of the second month, she gets into an argument with me over the phone
>As I'm no longer a beta, I tell her that if she can't speak to me reasonably, I'll hang up
>She keeps screaming and insulting me, I hang up. She calls back and continues, I hang up.
>She calls back a 3rd time, I hang up.
>About 20 minutes later she's knocking at my door wanting to talk. She wants to come inside.
>No way am I letting her in the house. She could say I hit her then I have a spouse abuse on my record.
>I tell her I have nothing to talk about and take off in my car. She chases me for the next 15 minutes.
>I finally lose her at a red light (she had run 3 of them) and return home.
>2 minutes later she pulls up and starts screaming at me. She reaches in my car and says, "That's mine!"
>I scream, "Ow ow, she's hitting me she's hitting me" All the neighbors are outside working and are seeing this"
>She finally goes back to her car and says, "I'm going to the police and tell them that you hit me, you're going to jail"
>I respond, "Look around, all the neighbors will testify on my behalf that you reached into MY car and were assaulting me,
>I hope you have a good attorney for filing a false police report. Look around"
>She looks around, see's all the neighbors staring at her and she says, "You're an asshole" while I have a huge smile on my face
>About 2 weeks later she calls me to her place and says we need to talk. I have a recorder in my pocket just to cover my ass.
>So she says, "I can't do this anymore, I think we need to break up." I say, "Best of luck, have a good life...I'll be back in a few
>days for the rest of my stuff." She says she wants $800 to pay for the wedding cancellations. I told her that I can give her 2x $400 checks
>The 2nd check is post-dated. She also wants me to fax the company where we bought the time-share assigning the property to her (we bought a time-share
>in year two for the wedding...but I never paid on it).
>>689131904
thanks anon, great story
>I come by with a buddy to pick up the few remaining things I left over there (I didn't want to move it all out or she would have known
>I wasn't coming back). She goes between crying and insulting me
>I give her the 2 checks. She has also called the time-share company confirming that I faxed over that she should have her name on the time-share.
>I ask her for the ring, she refuses to give it back. I have my attorney contact her with case law ...mutual or if she breaks up, I'm entitled to the ring
>Ah, but I have an ace in the hole. I call the bank and cancel the 2nd check. My attorney sends the time share company a document indicating that my previous
>handing over the time share was done under duress. The time-share company keeps it in my name.
>I bide my time
>A year later she calls me and asks me to sign the time-share over to her as she's now re-engaged and wants to use it for her honeymoon.
>I told her that I'd be happy to do so when she gives me back the engagement ring.
>She refuses. I say, "I was going to take a vacation next month for a couple weeks...maybe I'll go to Florida and enjoy the time-share" thus burning up our 2 weeks
>she planned on using for her honeymoon.
>She starts screaming, I tell her that if she won't be reasonable, I'll hang up.
>She continues, I hang up.
>She calls back and I ask her if she'll be reasonable and she says yes.
>She will give me back the ring and some other personal stuff that I left at her house in exchange for the time-share
>We meet at the bank, I inspect the ring with a magnifying glass (I knew where the flaw was in the diamond) and confirm it's the real diamond.
>I sign over the time-share...WIN!
>>689135796
thank fuck man, someone cap this
>She's very bitter, can't handle that I got the best of her. Trashes me to a mutual friend...I just smile and laugh.
I see her a few times...at a concert, at a row in front of me at college football game (with my son who she didn't want me to get custody of and I did) where I happily told my buddy how well my career was going. She was still bitter so many years later...and it always put a smile on my face.
>>689131128
kek'd
>>689136049
screencap
> Wake up 3am (an hour ago for me) to puppy who had diarrhea in his crate
> Go through entire fucking can of resolve cleaning up the puppy shitnado
> take him on walk for 45 min to try and get the rest out
> 4am now, tired as shit (dog shit, specifically)
> Not a single fucking poop from him
> Come back inside
> Immediate shitlake as we walk in the door
> mfw
TESST
>>689126802
i probably need that webm for science
>>689125282
5/7
perfect score
>>689136496
laughing so hard
i'm fucking done
thank you, internet
That greentext is awesome.
Nothing is more satisfying to me that seeing her at the football games (season tickets 1 row in front of me) when I'm there with my grown son...knowing not only did I make something of myself, but I ended up with custody of my son from age 9-18. The fact that she's still bitter so many years later amuses me...because I kinda pity her for holding so much anger in her heart.
>>689137101
her fault for making your life miserable then
>>689126802
Lmao
>more than my wife
You glorious bastard
>>689137201
Nah, she's just an angry, bitter person in her heart. Nothing anyone can do about that.
>>689126765
Anons? Whos this girl
>>689137360
whatever suits you, anon
at least youre doing better now
this ones probs fake
i legit have around 500 items in my greentext/best of 4chan folder
>>689126126
You don't see any faggots because you are the faggot.
>>689125282
Top kek anon you win plus 1 internets
onem ore
AND WERE DONE THANKS FUCKERS
>>689128597
Getting addicted to drugs is a step before suicide.
Junkies are just sad, suicidal people.
Getting addicted to drugs and doing shit like breaking into homes, mugging people, giving cheap blowjobs, all for drug money, isn't the cause, it's a symptom.
>>689131812
oh man..
>>689134674
Dude that game was dope
>>689126041
Anon was not a total faggot. Respek
>>689131212
Blue Christmas
>>689126041
> Yeah, what are you gonna do? Squeeze through a broken window and bleed out on my floor?
Fucking comedy gold right there 10/10
>>689127772
Shreked IRL
benis
>>689137101
I should repost it...having written that out so many years later...I forgot a lot of details. I just added them to my notepad.
>>689142754
screencap!!!!!!!!!
>>689135621
i remember that
Reposting this..forgot a ton of details first time through.
I thought I'd put in a story of win to cheer up those that have been through an ugly break-up. This happened about 17 years ago but it is still pretty awesome.
>Me 32 (single dad with generous visitation), gf 31. At the time she was a nurse (BSN) and I had just started in the IT field. We dated for 3 years
>I was a total beta at the time because I was making jack shit as I just started in IT (and it was after an unexpected career change).
>My roomate was going to be married (to one of my girlfriend's best friends), so I had to find a place to live.
>We had been dating a year so we got engaged after our 1st year together.
>So I move in with her. No problems for the first month or two.
>Shortly thereafter, I discovered that she had a horrible temper. Actually smacked me a few times. Never hit her back.
>She constantly reminded me how little I made in comparison to her after I change careers.
>Constantly insulting me, demeaning me. I was already down because of the unexpected career change. She piled on.
>Relationship is totally co-dependent and I'm super-beta at this point. I'm not making good enough money to move out...and I'm stuck.
>I reach a breaking point where none of that matters when she starts bitching about me having my son too much.
>She actually told me I should have him every other weekend.
>Because that's what her father did when her parents divorced. Which really explained a lot.
>I told her no way, I will spend weekly time with my son. Nobody comes between me and my son.
>Son's mother and I had a very cool schedule so we'd each have a weekend with him and usually a weekend night free (my time would start on Thursday).
>No way was I going to be an every other weekend dad. Wanted to spend time with my son who was around 4-6 at the time.
>She'd pick fights with me when my son was there KNOWING I woudn't argue with her in front of him.
>Beginning of year 2, we set a date. In the meantime, I'm already planning an exit strategy because I know I don't want to be with this ill-tempered woman any longer.
>Couldn't just leave as I know her to be very vindictive and I wouldn't get any of my stuff back (including the engagement ring).
>In the meantime, I start chatting up a 23 year-old figure skater in Wisconsin in yahoo while I'm at work.
>Make arrangements to meet figure skater in Chicago.
>Tell fiancee that I'm going to Chicago for a job interview.
>As I'm getting ready to leave for the airport, I can't find my keys, she accuses me of leaving them in the door (something I did exactly once)
>She goes ballistic and spits in my face
>I snap and smack her across the face (still the only time I've hit a woman).
>I push her on the bed and grab her by the throat and tell her to NEVER hit or spit on me again.
>She drives me to the airport in silence
>Meet said hottie figure-skater in Chicago. We hit it off and bang all weekend.
>One of the hottest sexual experiences I've had. Tight, flexible, and wanted to swallow my cum. Was down for anal, but she was too tight.
>Gf picks me up at the airport. I say in light of our fight that perhaps we need some time apart before the wedding.
>Tell her that way when we get married, it will be like new. She agrees.
>IT career takes off. Get a new job, now making as much as she is at the time. Instead of congrats, she bitches that she has a degree
>from a top university in my state and I have meaningless degrees in History and English from a non-elite school.
>I calmly respond that money follows skills and my skills in IT are in demand
>No longer beta.
>Move out and in with a good buddy.
>Over the two months, I'm working a LOT (probably 60+ hours) by my choice. No time for her
>I see her 3 times in the first month after I started my new job.
>At the start of the second month, she gets into an argument with me over the phone
>As I'm no longer a beta, I tell her that if she can't speak to me reasonably, I'll hang up
>She keeps screaming and insulting me, I hang up. She calls back and continues, I hang up.
>She calls back a 3rd time, I hang up.
>About 20 minutes later she's knocking at my door wanting to talk. She wants to come inside.
>No way am I letting her in the house. She could say I hit her then I have a spouse abuse on my record.
>I tell her I have nothing to talk about and take off in my car. She chases me for the next 15 minutes.
>I finally lose her at a red light (she had run 3 of them) and return home.
>2 minutes later she pulls up and starts screaming at me. She reaches in my car and says, "That's mine!"
>I scream, "Ow ow, she's hitting me she's hitting me" All the neighbors are outside working and are seeing this"
>She finally goes back to her car and says, "I'm going to the police and tell them that you hit me, you're going to jail"
>I respond, "Look around, all the neighbors will testify on my behalf that you reached into MY car and were assaulting me,
>I hope you have a good attorney for filing a false police report. Look around"
>She looks around, see's all the neighbors staring at her and she says, "You're an asshole" while I have a huge smile on my face
>About 2 weeks later she calls me to her place and says we need to talk. I have a recorder in my pocket just to cover my ass.
>So she says, "I can't do this anymore, I think we need to break up." I say, "Best of luck, have a good life...I'll be back in a few
>days for the rest of my stuff." She says she wants $800 to pay for the wedding cancellations. I told her that I can give her 2x $400 checks
>The 2nd check is post-dated. She also wants me to fax the company where we bought the time-share assigning the property to her (we bought a time-share
>in year two for the honeymoon...but I never paid on it).
>I come by with a buddy to pick up the few remaining things I left over there (I didn't want to move it all out or she would have known
>I wasn't coming back). She goes between crying and insulting me
>I give her the 2 checks. She has also called the time-share company confirming that I faxed over that she should have her name on the time-share.
>I ask her for the ring, she refuses to give it back. I have my attorney contact her with case law ...mutual or if she breaks up, I'm entitled to the ring
>She ignores my attorney. Considering going to court as it was worth $6k.
>After we split up, she trashes me to her friend (that is married to my buddy at the beginning).
>He in turn trashes me to a mutual friend without knowing the entire story (nor did he ask).
>Of course, the guy he trashes me to happens to be one of my best friends...and he tells me. I stop talking to the dude altogether.
>I don't say a bad word about her. I long-decided I was going to take the high road.
>Anyway, I still don't have the ring. But I have an ace in the hole. I call the bank and cancel the 2nd check.
>My attorney sends the time share company a document indicating that my previous handing over the time share was done under duress.
>The time-share company keeps it in my name.
>I bide my time
>A year later she calls me and asks me to sign the time-share over to her as she's now re-engaged and wants to use it for her honeymoon.
>I told her that I'd be happy to do so when she gives me back the engagement ring.
>She refuses. I say, "I was going to take a vacation next month for a couple weeks...maybe I'll go to Florida and enjoy the time-share" thus burning up our 2 weeks
>she planned on using for her honeymoon.
>She starts screaming, I tell her that if she won't be reasonable, I'll hang up.
>She continues, I hang up.
>She calls back and I ask her if she'll be reasonable and she says yes.
>I tell her I want the ring back in exchange for the time share.
>She pauses and says, "Fine, it doesn't have any emotional value to me anyway."
>I respond, "Good, then it shouldn't be such a problem for you to give it up"
>I can feel her temper rising...now I'm a bit worried I may have overplayed my hand here.
>I break the silence by stating we will meet in a neutral location for the exchange of goods and my signature on the timeshare by a notary public.
>I tell her she can pick the location. She picks a bank.
>A week later, we meet in the bank parking lot.
>She hands over a few of my personal items (some old photo books, some tools, minor stuff). I hand over a few of her things that were packed in some of my boxes.
>We go into the bank, I inspect the ring with a magnifying glass (I knew where the flaw was in the diamond) and confirm it's the real diamond.
>I sign over the time-share...WIN!
I see her a few times...at a Motley Crue concert, she has season tickets for a college team a row in front of ours. I'll never forget the nasty looks she gave me when I took my then 17 year-old son (who I did get custody of from 9-18) to the game with me while I'm talking to my buddy about my hourly rate (loud enough for her to hear). That she was still so bitter many years later...put a smile on my face.
The real catalyst for me was my son. When she said that I had my son too much, that was it. I did not want him to be around her and I my long-term goal was to have custody of him...something she'd never allow. After that, it was just coming up with a plan to extricate myself.
Ultimately, I pity her for being such an unhappy, angry and bitter person. But I do smile that I got the best of her after years of abuse.
