Things you do that you're pretty sure everyone else does too
>basically never wash legs in shower, gravity does that
I twist my beard into little beard twisties and then uncurl them because it's feels oddly weird.
Pick the lint between your toes
I always buy a supply of toothbrushes i can chew on in my free time.
I just like the texture of the brush and plastic you know? I kinda lick it like a lollipop if i have to focus on something in that moment.
>>686978483
Masturbate daily
>>686979035
And you think everyone does that?
I like to pull my ass cheeks apart in the shower while the water is running down my back and fart. The CO2 and H2O mixture makes the farts smell way worse. Often gag from the smell, one time actually puked.
>>686979300
Yah
Of course not a supply but everyone chews on their toothbrush every now and then
>>686978483
I look at every ass is in front of me no matter female or male. Not as sexual thing, it's just a reflex.
>>686979486
>>686979486
Nigga wat
Fuck ur mom
ooo got u good anon
>>686979486
So you're telling me that you actually puked in your fucking shower by farting intentionally
I like to put my fingers between my toes it feels awesome and so satisfying.
>>686979486
>>686978483
I shit on paper towels. Then I mold little race cars out of my shit. Usually I'm watching a movie while doing it
>>686979486
i used to do that, but i don't fart anymore. like a few times a month, i hate it.
>>686979544
same, anon
subtly joke about something I saw on /b/ then immediately feel like a faggot
>>686979486
and then there is this faggot
>>686979789
S A V A G E
A
V
A
G
E
>>686979486
i never know where to put my boogers. I wipe them under every surface in my house like under tables for example
Smell my cum after I masterbait
>>686979486
I say its the hot water temp that makes farts extra potent
>>686978483
the fucktardiness of kylee raiden the ugly little fat cunt meatball shaped manipulative slut is what lt has to do with. The little slut was engaged to a man and cheating on him. Who then decided to try to fuck the guy who she was cheating on her fiancé's bestfriend who was in a happy and loving relationship with his girl. Moral of the story i sincerely hope she dies in a car accident soon.....
Whenever someone jokingly insults me I still take it seriously.
unless I'm drunk/high.
Put my hand down the front of my pants and then sniff my fingers to enjoy my own man musk
>>686980397
>>686979789
Procrastinate
Stand and wipe
>>686979966
Put the brownie mix into the bowl before the water
>>686980198
>doesn't taste it
Faggot.
>>686980533
Wouldn't that smear around the poopoo rather than wipe it off?
>>686979526
no.
>>686980533
Same
>>686979526
kek nope
>>686980397
yeah, thats pretty normal. I wouldn't say i enjoy it, its just an interesting smell.
>>686979544
Not alone brother
>>686980790
Do you walk around smelling like poop as well?
I play with my dick when I'm alone. Not with any sexual intent. Just because its there. I always keep one hand on it and just subconsciously fiddle.
In cases of unexpected fap I ejaculate on my hand lick the cum off. It gets the job done
>>686979544
>>686980009
>>686980630
lol people are weird
>>686979035
fucking weeb
>>686979486
>>686978483
I stinkpalm people at least a couple of times a day at work. I only do it to "superiors", feels good.
>>686981113
You sir are not alone
Quite often piss out the window
usually i just shit in the shower because it saves water and goes down the drain anyway, i just scrub a little more after i do.
>>686981655
Haha that must be so funny
Source please op
>>686981113
You're not alone at all.
>>686981756
I used to do this when I was like 16
>>686981922
I've never understood that.
You do know it clogs the drain?
>>686979966
>>686982115
well sometimes i have to step on it, but usually when it's like taco bell night it goes down quite easy...
>>686981932
10+ years of full time employment, it's a small victory.
>>686981922
You're literally autistic if you actually do this
>>686979486
holy fuck someone else does this
I totally understand that
>>686979072
fucking pervert, nobody does that!!
i use nail clippers on my calloused feet to cut big chunks of skin off
>>686982345
how does saving water make me autistic??
>>686980397
guilty
>>686980519
same
When wiping, when I feel clean, I always look at the paper to see if I am really clean. I assume everyone does.
wiping my ass with paper towel has changed my life
>>686982552
How does not understanding that we are thoroughly disgusted by it make you a normie?
>>686979486
samefag
>>686982583
How else?
>>686982493
Nail scissors, but similar
When i listen to music when im alone, i do stupid shit
>>686982777
Checked, also dude this is normal ask around so many people do this
I kinda like rubbing dead skin off the little line across my scrotum with my thumb and index finger and sniffing the little skin shavings that come off
>inb4 bait
>>686978483
Instead of wiping I shove toilet paper in my ass.
That way all the shit gets dry, I dont risk shit on my hands, and I dont risk clogging the toilet.
>>686982345
>>686982552
http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2015/04/27/6-facts-about-fecal-smearing-that-you-need-to-know/
It is classic fucking autistic behaviour.
>>686982678
It'll change a plumber's bank balance too if you flush that shit
>>686983087
everyone does this, manpons are the greatest
I eat stuff i scratch off of wounds, you know the crusty thing?
>sometimes i rollover and kiss the inside of my bicep in bed, pretend it's a gril
>>686979486
>>686983133
it's not smearing, it's pooping down the drain to save water.
I constantly worry that I smell bad but I've gotten used to it so I don't notice and everyone around me is too polite to tell me the truth.
Also I masturbate dry.
>>686978483
I shave my ass and use baby wipes after taking a shit. I know nurses at work do it don't know about you guys
>>686982493
I do the same, on the bottom of toes and bottom of feet.
>>686983406
i masturbate dry too, prefer having more grip
>>686983187
Hence its posting this thread
>ITT: A lot of things that people don't do.
>>686978914
Wash socks inside out and then dryer them the right way around so that I never have lint between my toes.
>>686979486
Yeah I call it boiled fart
>>686983483
My mom has always bought baby wipes, very nice after taking a giant shit
thats animal appropriation you sob! btw is transgender people a form of sexual appropriation?
>>686981113
Saaaammmeee
In the shower i take a shit in my hand, and throw it into the toilet.
>>686979486
Magic
If I get spit on my finger nails I smell it. I usually never realize I'm doing it.
>>686979526
n0pe.avi
Ever since I was little, I would go up stairs on all fours. I only do it in my house, I just find it very entertaining and fast
>>686979966
Pics or it didn't happen
>>686983399
The amount of water you're going to save is fucking negligible. The fact you don't realise it's a no-no to poo in the cleaning area is the autistic bit - if you're stomping it down the plug hole, that still counts as "smearing". Poo is meant to be repugnant, regardless of your reasoning what you're would be a good start for some talking therapies at least.
It'd be easier to just wear nappies, but you don't do that?
>>686984200
This. Me too
>>686983973
What if the comes out and isnt solid enough to throw?
>>686982493
I've been thinking about doing that
>>686979990
....you fart just a few times a month?o.O
>>686979966
You should make it more of a theme and watch the fast and the furious, while looking at Paul Walker's research info about his death from photos to stories. YCYL
When I pet a cute animal, I clench my teeth.
When I shower and use soap on my body I unintentionally also clench my teeth.
Large square objects (like massive black frames or paravans or large perfectly rectangular doors with a black bordeor doorframe around them, or large wooden rectangular or square grids on the wall make me feel a little weird and uneasy, like I'm gay or something.
When I pee standing, I lift the left part of my right foot slightly in the air, so only my small toe and right part of the heel touch the ground.
>>686983973
Kek
>>686983305
I cuddle with a pillow and pretend it's a grill
It's not even an animu body pillow it's just a normal pillow
>>686979486
the shit propogates on the steam particles i swear.
scratch dead skin off shoulders, back,ears, beard and then smell it out of curiosity
>>686984407
Then i let it fall and break it up into full liquid using the showerhead. Goes down the drain, just like piss
I space out sometimes while thinking and accidentally stare at people and then realize I'm staring so I just quickly look away
>>686984460
Duude same thing with the teeth, i wonder why? I just get this weird 'hnggggg' feeling
>>686978483
>>686983500
>>686979966
i want to see proof
>>686984530
I cuddle with my pillow too, it gives me comfort to hold onto something
>>686983406
It had never even occurred to me to use lotion until I became an adult. So many times as a teenager, I fucked my hand until my dick started bleeding because I had rubbed the skin off and then I had to wait a week for the wounds to heal.
Also, I used to worry over my smell constantly, but then I got over it when I turned thirty.
>>686984200
ya ur ass feels good after doing it too
>>686979486
Dude its not the water and co2, its because our noses work better in high humidity. Your farts smell that bad all the time, but your nose doesn't work as well. Its the same reason it smells weird outside when its muggy.
>>686984460
Also, when I feel like I'm in a dirty environment, like extremely dusty or moldy or something, I clench my thumbs inside my fists.
Also i tend to bend my fingernails downwards so they touch the tip of my finger a little more than usual. This also feels good.
>>686982552
Just wear nappies you fucking cunt. The time you spend shitting and scrubbing and cleaning your asshole you would have used at the absolute least 3-6 litres of water, which is also the same amount used to flush a toilet. You gross fuck.
>>686984544
The steam actually cleans your nose. Its why dogs lick their nose
Every once in a while Ido this weird shit with my body. I dont know to explain it but it feels like im draining someting invisible out of my body like bad energy or smt like that. I kinda clench my abdominal muscles and my whole body starts losing control and my hands shiver. Idk it feels oddly relaxing.
I love putting earwax out of my ear, each time I do it I examine it and play with it between my fingers.
>>686980397
i put them inside my pants and pinch my ballsack a little... then smell
i helicopter my dick for a good 5 mins usually to songs, just for my own enjoyment.
>>686980519
i was gonna post that but you got to it first
>>686984460
Also, if I feel like I've gotten a bit sweaty or greasy during the day, I tend to scratch the area between my lips and my chin and smell it. Usually smells like warm cheddar cheese. Nice.
>>686983541
same here bro, and its too messy to use butter
>>686984530
A pillow is not enough for me, so I keep an extra comforter in my bed to roll up so I can spoon it througout the night.
Some years ago, I was in an relationship, and I really missed my comforter(not the reason we didn't work out tho). Spooning with a real woman was just not as good.
>>686978483
Hold my shit until I get constipated and then use a laxative to birth the biggest turd I been hoarding in side my butt canal.
>>686984607
Apparently it's our urge to kill it being supressed. Google told me this.
>>686978483
directly spray wash my anus towards the end of the shower. turn that water on cold and let that pulsating power nozzle clean my anus and my general butt flap area. its like my ass just ate a pack of five gum.
Early in the morning, I clench my butt while I stretch muy arms upwards.
Also when going upstairs I skip a stair each step
>>686984789
Neat
>>686985157
pls how
>>686983305
Heh, I do that too.
I fart while masturbating sometimes
>>686984789
>muggy
Like a rain forest or jungle climate. This factoid will make for good b8.
>>686982493
I like to eat those chunks.
I pee in the shower to save time .... I also brush my teath while taking a shit just for my enjoyment
>>686984530
Wierd. Are you pretending to BBQ while you hold it?
>>686980195
I eat mine
>>686979526
never even thought of doing it
>>686985602
Yep. Also I fap while taking a shit sometimes.
use a penis pump to make it big and fat
>>686979966
>>686985817
Kek
>>686985456
Dude, same.
I curl my toes when I cum.
>>686981195
gtfo normie
>>686984200
Same
>>686980397
Same. Furthermore, if I have awful pitstench for some reason, I can't make myself stop sneaking sniffs.
>>686979486
im the same but i take a bath then finger pop those aroma filled butt bubbles
>>686984789
>noses work better in high humidity
Not sure if true but definitely truthy. Makes sense.
>>686985368
If I have the house to myself I will hold my shit in as long as possible, just to see how long I can.
>>686980198
you sir are a master ruseman
im sure no one else does this but when i was a kid i started sticking my big toe straight up whenever i played vidya games. when i noticed this i convinved myself by some form of superstition that i couldnt beat the game if i didnt have my big toe stick straight up the entire time. thats how i ended up discovering the left path in starfox 64
>>686985543
Idk man Its really weird I do it since I was a kid
I'm probably not alone on this but i tend to save everything on the internet in fear of it be deleted or copyright infringed. I save music, videos, porn mostly, and lots of instagram photos because whores usually regret posting them
>>686982583
yep
masturbate before I shower
>>686986394
Spot on with this one.
>>686986109
I HAVE to contract my calfs to cum.
>>686978483
I shove napkins up my butthole while masturbating , it feels better
Am i gay /b/ ?? Does anyone else does this ?
i like to stick a dry cotton bud down my urethra and drag it up and down whilst tugging feels great.
when i scroll through long threads i only read comments with exceptionally many replies
>>686986493
I save mostly porn and profile pictures
>>686986736
Same. Here's a (you)
>>686984719
Holy fuck what kind of ninja grip do you have to make your skin bleed??
>>686978483
Having friends
>>686983689
i do that with my socks every once and a while, too tiresome for me to do every time, but it works well
>>686978483
Sometimes when I'm driving, and stopped at a red, I count how many seconds until it goes green. When at the next red, I do the same to see if it will break the last red light's record etc.
>>686986736
4chan wont let me tell you to back go to reddit
when I feel a fart coming on I fart into my hand and immediately bring it up to my nose and inhale the whole thing
I also smell my poop when i've wiped. bonus points for diarrhoea
eat frozen fries, i like the crunch and the taste
When I'm not shitting at home, I always put a piece of toilet paper in my asshole so my briefs won't have skidmarks on them.
>>686986889
No lube will do that pretty easily if you are circumcised and reckless.
>>686980195
I Have this 1 inch Bowl i put them in and throw them Out of The Window every Evening
>>686986493
I used to work with mmd and 3D models would be taken down left and right for others breaking their rules so even though I haven't used that program in months I have a ton of 3D models saved just in case the ones I love get taken down
After I ejaculate, I moisturize my skin with it. The smell is great too, most of my friends compliment me on my clear skin and they also ask me if I have any secrets, lol.
>>686982967
Normal for autists
![Fullmetal Alchemist BrotherHood 02.mkv_snapshot_21.15_[2015.10.17_23.48.55].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/q0MRkDm.jpg "Fullmetal Alchemist BrotherHood 02.mkv_snapshot_21.15_[2015.10.17_23.48.55].jpg")
>>686986736
Do you have some sort of autistic MO for this? I mean, I have to do some math before deciding if I will read a certain comment. It depends on the number of replies and the time elapsed since it was posted.
>>686984593
oh yea, i know that feeling. Or i suddenly realise that I've been staring at the wall for the last few minutes and wonder, what the people may think
Jack off into public soap dispensers
When holding a small baby or animal you briefly thing about what would happen if you chucked the baby/pup as far as you could. But you don't do it.
>>686987187
gtfo
>>686986493
Also the instagram photos i save are just the ones worth saving i dont save their whole profile of pictures
>>686979544
Same.
>>686980195
I put them under the carpet
More superstition than everything but I carry a postcard sized photo (folded to fit) of Pierce Brosnan with me in my wallet for good luck.
>>686979966
>>686985021
but he should also consider all the water used to producing those nappies, if he's so into water saving
>>686987187
>>686987605
what is it about pierce that makes you feel lucky?
>>686985368
i like edging the shit, so its like turtle head going in and out...does this make me a faggot?
>Constantly think what would happen if I killed the nearest person to me.
IE: eating in a restaurant I would think about what would happen if i stood up and stabbed the person on the next table in the neck with my fork.... I can almost visualise it happening
>>686984593
I can comfirm this happens to me too
>>686986493
Yeah, come the apocalypse we'll be the ones laughing when everyone else is trying to trade tinned food for our porno.avi.
>>686986627
Always.
>>686987824
We share the same Birthday. Also, forgot to mention he signed it for me when I went to the premiere of Die Another Day.
It's the only premiere I've ever been to and for some reason I feel comfortable when I have it on me. Sounds weird as fuck I know.
>>686985364
Do you even lift tho
>>686980246
me2man
>>686987289
Welp I just got a new phobia
Once or twice a year I like to get naked, shit in the bathtub and smear it on my ass and tits, usually ride a dildo while doing so until I orgasm.
>>686986889
>>686987095
>No lube will do that pretty easily if you are circumcised and reckless.
NInja gripper here. 100% uncut, I dunno if that makes it more impressive.
>>686985901
thats fuckin gross
>>686985693
>>686988266
i can only imagine it being painful to dry wank with a cut dick. so ur shit is normal, im the same
>>686987042
scientists have recently stated that smelling farts is actually beneficial to our mental health
enjoy a life long, healthy mental state faggot
>>686988256
Congrats, you are into scat, anon!
Also, since you said tits, you do know I am now obligated by court of law to ask for a picture of said tits? (preferably without shit on them.)
>>686983149
true dat
>>686985360
kek
>>686988654
>>686988266
im cut and i fap dry but i have no idea how the fuck you can make it bleed or even hurt
i also fap daily or every other day sometimes
>>686988807
This , femanon must deliver !!
>>686988979
You just don't fap nearly enough
>>686989133
Dubs have decided !!
Same anon here
>>686987095
nope. been circumcised since i was a kid, didnt fap with lube for a good few years before i discovered the slippery joys of ky.
never once fapped myself to a bloody mess.
some people just like it rough i guess. they should probably try it while getting a huge black cock rammed inside them, ive heard its pretty gr8 m8s
>>686987935
Kek then i'll be pretty much set then
>>686978706
>>686978483
>>686979544
>>686981113
>>686984200
>>686986736
Same
>>686980397
I never thought I'd admit it but I do this too.
>>686978483
moar?
>>686978483
OP's mom
At home i usually take a piss while sitting on the toilet seat because I find it too much of a burden to aim my dick and make sure the piss doesn't get on the sides when standing
I always look through people's computers/phones when left unattended and I know I have time. Doesn't matter who they are. Friends, brother, girlfriend, mom.
Also prefer to pee outside. Seldom piss in toilets.
>>686988979
other anon is right
>>686989178
even uncut if i go about 3 a day for 2 or 3 days straight ill end up with a small wound at the base of mah dick.
from what i rem anyway, i havnt fapped in 3 yrs
>>686980175
Is that Shay Carl puking?
>>686979789
Ohhhh damn son.
>>686989845
why haven't you fapped, fellow anon?
>>686979966
Trying too hard
>>686989981
i did have a gf so i didnt need to, but now heroin has just killed my sex drive. its my new gf
>>686983305
TF :(
>>686982583
>When wiping, when I feel clean, I always look at the paper to see if I am really clean. I assume everyone does.
Not blind people, I always wonder how they do it. Do they have someone train them when they're young to count how many wipes they need? Do seeing eye dogs help them with this? Do they just wipe and pray?
I cannot piss on pissoir when I'm not very sure that noone will come. I therefore always go to lockable cabins even if I just want to piss.
If I'm sure to be the last at work, using the pissoirs is no problem.
Pencil dick might be a reason.
>>686988585
Come on, it´s not when I´m pushing. Usually I shit, then before I wipe I jerk it.
>>686980175
aaaaahahahaha
somon got to have the video of that. i reallllly want this
I start drama to spice things up a bit
>>686982060
same
>>686978483
I rub the back part of my ears with my fingers then I smell them, the smell it's bad but somehow I enjoy it
>>686984200
Laughing my ass off, thought I was the only one
>>686990236
ahh okay man, that sucks about your heroin habit, it'll be your best friend then will start to suck the life out of you. Don't turn into another Layne Staley man it's so sad to see.
>>686988585
Never had a Blumkin?
>>686990539
seriously kys, youre living for the wrong reasons
>>686978483
Any idea who this babe? Best wet shirt ever.
(Yes, I imaged searched - no name come up.)
>>686979930
I do this. I agree.
>>686983305
i do it just cause i love myself
when i have a girl with me do it too
Wipe the toilet seat of before shit because the paper prevents splash back.
>>686982822
you forgot something there buddy
sometimes when i'm in public i get paranoid that people are reading my mind so i like to let them know telepathically that i know they could read my mind. been doing it since i was a kid.
>>686987093
Also works as a silencer for farts when out in public. They never know its me.
>>686979544
Ass man here too, can't help it.
>>686979688
>>686990909
>pretty clever man might start doing that, without sounding like a fucking freak that is
>>686979486
this comment is why i still come here...thanks anon
>>686990366
Their other senses are better. I guess they taste it.
>>686991046
oops didn't mean to greentext
>>686980246
Fucking hate people like you. Killing the mood and can't lighten the fuck up paper skinned faggot.
>>686990366
FYI: Deaf people having sex sounds like dolphins being slaughtered
>>686990880
It really pisses me off when you do that
>>686990453
I do that a lot too. I'd say that nowadays it's my regular thing.
Also, when I see pregnant women I can't help but think to myself, in the most juvenile way, that they were plowed by some cock and loved. I'm married and have sex frequently, that's what makes it odder.
>>686990539
kys
>>686991259
Link?
>>686985693
Go away, Stallman.
>>686985879
Me too, anon
>>686990431
THIS. I don't have a pencil dick but i just can't piss when other people are close by.
Sometimes thougj I cover my ears from the noise and then the piss just leaks out. It's so soothing
When I'm fapping and about to cum I squeeze my thighs together really hard to prevent the cum from releasing so I don't have to clean anything up or find something to shoot it into. Makes fapping so much more convenient.
>>686984200
me and my girlfriend recently discovered we both do this
>>686990880
>Jack off into public soap dispensers
DO that when I'm by myself. Sometimes think I'm being taped like some Truman show shit. I say out loud "Boy isn't weird I'm on TV right now". Or I just stare at places where a camera could be put and say "I know you're watching me". Am I crazy?
>>686979486
I do this too. Also, when I'm under my blankets if I'm about to fart, I pull my pants down then go under tho covers and bask in the smell. Anyone else?
>>686991046
Just don't smell it after unless you're in to that.
If the day feels right, I'll sit in the bottom of my shower, turn the water so it doesn't hit me and the heat is all the way up, hands propped behind my back, feet planted in front of me and my knees up, rub conditioner all over my legs and cock, raise my ass/legs then lower them tight together at increasing speeds and literally fuck my own thighs. Feels so fucking close to real. I also cum all over myself and nearly pass out when standing up after.
>>686991526
Am I crazy?
most definitely yes
>>686981922
I think maybe you should stop doing that. It's kinda gross. .-.
>>686991672
Could you draw that, please?
>>686979035
Die the death you fuckin YUCK
>>686991687
But, I don't actually beleive it though. It's more of a safeguard just in case. It's like when its dark in the house and I'm freaked out about ghosts I get naked with a flashlight in one hand while jerking off with the other.
>>686979072
You're fucking sick mate, you need help!
